[repletewithyou]

So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.

[bklynhermit]

I think we're in full agreement there then, jazmyn. I never said one should judge one's SO on the basis of whether they watch porn, never said one had the right to allow or forbid anything of that nature.

BUT i do think there should be full disclosure of that sort of thing so that people can make the proper decisions where that is concerned. I'm not interested in dating someone who devotes a significant amount of energy to pornography, has a whole lot of it, talks about it a lot, is really influenced by that whole universe. I'm just not. So I'd rather know from the beginning so that I can dump the person before things get too serious. Or so that the person in question can decide that they can live without their porn because they'd rather be with me.

I don't set out to make anyone feel dirty or wrong. I just want to be able to talk about it and express what are very real needs for me.

I also haven't wavered from my position that teen porn is NEVER ACCEPTABLE, as it's borderline illegal. There's a huge difference between 'sometimes i get off to regular garden variety porn' and 'i like something illegal'. Yes, it is wrong. Yes, I will make ANYBODY I know who is into it feel dirty and that they are doing something immoral. Because it is immoral. And they should feel dirty. Regular porn, different story (though I'm still not crazy about it). Anything where the people involved might not be 18, totally wrong. Period.