[repletewithyou]

So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.

[pepper]

oh mercy, koala, if he chooses to be an emotional ruin over some ancient history my advice is to LET HIM. this is not your issue girl, even though it originated with something that you did. that transaction is completed, you apologized and he forgave it and it's over. him being miserable over it is his choice to make and i would just let him stew in that until he got over it if i were you. i don't mean be a bitch or anything but gently let him know that you feel that he needs to be left alone with that issue to deal with it. if he needs to talk to you about it then you're there for him but for him to continue to hang it over your head and punish you for it makes it into something horrible that he's doing to you, not about something that you did at all.
what's worse, the thing you did one time long ago or him making himself and you feel like dirt about it over and over again?
may i recommend a book? it's called loving what is by byron katie and it deals in part with this very issue. it's one of my favourites, and that's saying something.
mistakes are how we learn. it's hard to get very far without them and that makes me grateful for every single one i've ever made. i've learned a lot.