[repletewithyou]

So, there's this boy. He is a very dear friend and I've known him for years and years and last summer we fell in love. He goes to school about a thousand miles away and he didn't want to try a long distance relationship. We got back together over winter break and had sex (both of our first time); he is one of the most genuine and gentle and smart and adoring people I have ever known. BUT we talked the other day and he says he "doesn't tend to think about people much when he can't see them." I think about him all the time and it makes me sad to think he doesn't think about me.

We talked tentatively about getting back together this summer. I hate it when girls care more about their guys than their guys care about them. I don't know whether he really doesn't care about me anymore or if he is just a dumb boy with a bad memory. I'll be seeing him soon and I don't know what to do.

[pepper]

appmtnwoman, have you introduced yourself in the newbies thread? if you haven't why dontcha head on over there and say hello.
just wanted to let you know that your email addy is visible in your profile, you can click the edit profile link on the left of this screen and select the option to hide your email. that way no one can just google it and read everything you've written here. i avoid using the real names of people i'm discussing too, don't know if that's important to you but it sure makes me feel safe if i want to post something really personal.

i had a long distance relationship for over a year and realized that i had to make some effort to keep the flame alive. even if you don't like the phone much you could still just call now and then to tell him that you've been thinking about him. a two minute call full of endearments won't go amiss every once in a while. i also sent mail. sounds silly but a nice handwritten letter or goofy postcard telling him something funny that happened or just about my day, i sent pictures too. and i emailed little bits of gossip, recipes i thought he'd like, pictures, and dirty stories i made up. anything to make him (and myself) feel that we were still a part of eachother's daily lives, to keep a presence in his mind and deeds and make him aware of how much i loved him regardless of the space.
long distance relationships do sometimes require more effort because you aren't there to communicate energetically. you have to decide how much it's worth to you effort wise.