 Survivor's Space |
 Apr 28 2006, 03:21 AM
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#1
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Hardcore BUSTie  Posts: 266  |
I'm going to a candle lighting ceremony next week for victims of DV. I'm a little scared. Therapy has been better but more difficult. I'm making progress but some days I just want to hide.
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Aug 2 2006, 06:59 PM
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#2
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 Hardcore BUSTie Posts: 242 From: Boston |
maddy, i can't even imagine standing in front of the person that did shit to you....it's like the most vulnerable space to be in. so sorry to hear that.
thanks for being supportive kitten and maddy. I guess i hardly told anybody because i had a previous dating relationship with him....on top of that while we were dating, i was completely unstable and had really low self esteem, AND he comes off as this easygoing, harmless person so i guess i just felt like no one would believe me. on top of it, when i did tell a couple of people at the time that it happened, they were all like, "why didn't you scream no?" " why didn't you punch him in the face?" and just trying to justify my actions was so fucking draining. i dont know. i guess its not a good reason. it gets me furious that he is living his life and making friends and walking around like it didn't happen. it makes me completely wary and suspicious of everybody! like maybe i'm friends with a rapist and i don't even know it. i knew i didn't want to press charges, and i still don't. but i'm just afraid people (esp his friends) won't blelieve me and that it will be so draining...and that word will get around....my family doesn't even know. my engaged friend has no discretion and i am afraid that even if i told her not to tell others, that she would spread it around. i have been in therapy for a year...and it's going well. but my therapist just applied for visits over the first 24 and my insurance rejected it because even though i was raped, there is no medical evidence and the legal system is not involved so i don't get parity. sorry. it does feel a lot better to talk about it here. thanks for listening. |
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Posts in this topic
ananke Survivor's Space Apr 28 2006, 03:21 AM
pixiedust Survivor's Space May 23 2006, 12:46 PM kittenb Survivor's Space May 24 2006, 10:31 AM nohope Survivor's Space Jun 22 2006, 05:11 AM kittenb Survivor's Space Jun 22 2006, 10:35 AM pixiedust Survivor's Space Jun 22 2006, 11:44 AM maddy29 Survivor's Space Jun 22 2006, 04:31 PM hummingbird Survivor's Space Jun 22 2006, 05:18 PM erinjane Survivor's Space Jun 22 2006, 08:46 PM erinjane Survivor's Space Jun 23 2006, 04:05 PM kittenb Survivor's Space Jun 23 2006, 07:01 PM hummingbird Survivor's Space Jun 24 2006, 02:53 PM hummingbird Survivor's Space Jun 24 2006, 06:49 PM kittenb Survivor's Space Jun 25 2006, 06:59 AM ananke Survivor's Space Jun 26 2006, 12:01 AM pixiedust Survivor's Space Jun 26 2006, 07:54 AM maddy29 Survivor's Space Jun 26 2006, 08:08 AM maddy29 Survivor's Space Jun 26 2006, 08:10 AM erinjane Survivor's Space Jun 26 2006, 12:48 PM pixiedust Survivor's Space Jun 26 2006, 01:21 PM kittenb Survivor's Space Jun 26 2006, 01:44 PM maddy29 Survivor's Space Jun 27 2006, 11:00 AM hummingbird Survivor's Space Jun 27 2006, 11:31 AM maddy29 Survivor's Space Jun 27 2006, 11:40 AM hummingbird Survivor's Space Jun 27 2006, 12:16 PM maddy29 Survivor's Space Jun 27 2006, 12:19 PM hummingbird Survivor's Space Jun 27 2006, 03:41 PM maddy29 Survivor's Space Jul 6 2006, 01:19 PM hummingbird Survivor's Space Jul 6 2006, 01:37 PM ananke Survivor's Space Jul 7 2006, 01:39 AM cstars124 [font=Comic Sans Ms]I just have a question for eve... Jul 11 2006, 10:44 AM ananke My rape was very similar. He didn't say it was... Jul 13 2006, 02:05 AM maddy29 yep that's rape. he raped you. no two ways ab... Jul 26 2006, 08:25 AM cstars124 I'm sorry maddy. :(
Is there any type of hypn... Jul 26 2006, 09:57 AM maddy29 um, you were in shock? that's why you didn... Jul 26 2006, 10:06 AM cstars124 We were in an argument at his apartment and for so... Jul 26 2006, 10:28 AM pixiedust I personally think it is harder to be raped or abu... Jul 26 2006, 10:35 AM maddy29 also, friends that don't believe you aren... Jul 26 2006, 10:56 AM cstars124 I don't think it's a crazy idea. I've ... Jul 26 2006, 11:09 AM maddy29 now i've got myself all riled up. i happened ... Jul 26 2006, 02:09 PM erinjane cstars, I deal a lot with the 'why didn't ... Jul 26 2006, 02:28 PM maddy29 such a great point EJ! although i imagine a l... Jul 26 2006, 04:22 PM pixiedust Don't ever think yourself crazy maddy. I have... Jul 26 2006, 04:33 PM maddy29 thanks pixie :) it's true, i was like 7 when ... Jul 27 2006, 08:31 AM kittenb A few weeks ago I was speaking in front of several... Jul 31 2006, 07:31 AM maddy29 Ok kittenb, i'll mention it-FMSF :) Yep, I ch... Jul 31 2006, 09:19 AM kittenb The DNA backlog is still a problem. The funding ju... Jul 31 2006, 09:40 AM gumby_cc Sorry to just jump in. I'm a long time lurker ... Aug 1 2006, 09:28 PM maddy29 oh gumby, i'm SO sorry. that's totally su... Aug 2 2006, 09:57 AM kittenb gumby_cc that's a horrible position to be put ... Aug 2 2006, 11:20 AM ananke A very very eeerily similar thing happened to me.
... Aug 3 2006, 04:16 AM maddy29 yeah, the truth is, you're right to be afraid ... Aug 3 2006, 07:10 AM cstars124 gumby, I was raped by someone i was dating too. An... Aug 3 2006, 08:17 AM maddy29 it's interesting how many of us were hurt by p... Aug 3 2006, 08:27 AM cstars124 hey maddy, did you ever go to the police or anythi... Aug 3 2006, 09:42 AM maddy29 there's a statue of limitations, for people wi... Aug 3 2006, 11:37 AM kittenb Having worked at an HMO for 18 months, I can say r... Aug 3 2006, 11:50 AM cstars124 I'm sorry. Unfortunately, I think there's ... Aug 3 2006, 11:51 AM maddy29 yeah, i mean i'm supposed to sit there in cour... Aug 3 2006, 12:13 PM gumby_cc haaha, well, my other therapist thinks I have PTSD... Aug 4 2006, 04:15 AM cstars124 I have a question for everybody.
Has anyone actua... Aug 4 2006, 06:31 AM maddy29 verbally? yikes, that's fucking scary. i did ... Aug 4 2006, 08:11 AM cstars124 I don't think you're a crazy big liar, mad... Aug 4 2006, 08:53 AM maddy29 oh my god cstars. ok, i have a MUCH better underst... Aug 4 2006, 01:50 PM cstars124 Well, i'm sure if I told my parents, they woul... Aug 4 2006, 02:42 PM maddy29 cstars-how old are you? that sucks that your sist... Aug 4 2006, 04:05 PM cstars124 I'm 22.
My parents would definitely help me ... Aug 4 2006, 05:32 PM maddy29 yeah, i kinda know what you mean. if you put it ou... Aug 4 2006, 07:31 PM erinjane I've never confronted my rapist verbally eithe... Aug 4 2006, 09:29 PM gumby_cc Maddy, I can't imagine how difficult it must h... Aug 6 2006, 05:49 AM kittenb I remember when I was in my first group therapy ti... Aug 6 2006, 07:46 AM treehugger Hi. So I'm just popping in. Maybe to introdu... Aug 6 2006, 05:09 PM kittenb Welcome, treehugger! Thanks for the mojitos.
... Aug 7 2006, 08:46 AM ananke I have been insanely furious this week. Just const... Aug 8 2006, 02:00 AM datagirl For the umpteenth time I am so grateful for this t... Aug 8 2006, 08:43 PM catwomyn Oh man. That is so sad what happened to your famil... Aug 9 2006, 09:42 AM
treehugger
I hope Treehugger is still here too, and feels l... Aug 15 2006, 03:10 PM datagirl Thankyou Catwomyn,
Hugs to all survivers here.
... Aug 9 2006, 06:07 PM kittenb At the risk of sounding melodramatic, realizing th... Aug 10 2006, 12:09 PM datagirl I have no idea how myself or any of the other surv... Aug 10 2006, 05:36 PM maddy29 omg datagirl-i've been on vacation for the wee... Aug 15 2006, 12:51 PM maddy29 hey datagirl-how are you holding up? just checki... Aug 23 2006, 11:55 AM ananke BREAK THROUGH!
For the first time since I was... Aug 25 2006, 01:59 AM cstars124 Yay, ananke! That's awesome. Congrats... Aug 25 2006, 06:49 AM kittenb cstars124 - at the risk of sounded like a cliched ... Aug 25 2006, 09:58 PM hummingbird I have come to accept that a lot of my feelings do... Aug 27 2006, 05:19 AM erinjane I'm feeling really angry lately. I just did m... Aug 27 2006, 09:41 PM maddy29 wtf? forgive him? why? maybe if he changes his lif... Aug 28 2006, 11:16 AM erinjane I know. On other message boards I've seen peo... Aug 28 2006, 02:21 PM datagirl Hugs to all survivors(((())))))
I've been her... Aug 28 2006, 08:36 PM maddy29 erinjane, that makes me feel so sad. all of us ar... Aug 29 2006, 08:58 AM hummingbird erinjane, I go through periods where I am so ragef... Aug 30 2006, 07:43 AM erinjane I love this thread. :)
Just wanted to say though,... Aug 30 2006, 09:46 AM deschatsrouge delurk:
My rape counselor never told me to forgiv... Aug 30 2006, 10:25 AM kittenb maddy - reporting times will depend on the statute... Sep 3 2006, 12:44 AM kittenb I repeat, my anger is the ONE thing that I get to ... Sep 3 2006, 11:48 AM erinjane Could someone tell me how to ignore? I haven... Sep 3 2006, 12:40 PM kittenb I WANT TO BE ABLE TO IGNORE CERTAIN POSTERS
You ca... Sep 3 2006, 12:51 PM kittenb Okay, it really does work, although I still get no... Sep 3 2006, 12:54 PM |
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