[ananke]

I'm going to a candle lighting ceremony next week for victims of DV. I'm a little scared. Therapy has been better but more difficult. I'm making progress but some days I just want to hide.

[datagirl]

For the umpteenth time I am so grateful for this thread.I posted here earlier this year about telling my mother
about the sexual abuse by my brother.She believed me and to my relief my mother didn't disown me.
She and I have never told my father though and probably never will.At Easter I had a massive fight with my sister (eight years older than me and my brother is six years older).She wrote me a letter detailing the reason she was so awful to me growing up.I finally had the first conversation I had had with her in about four months last night.She told me she was molested by a neighbour (the father of my brother's friend) then she in turn molested my brother,who then abused me.I have always thought that my sister had nothing to do with what my brother did to me.But how can I not hold her responsible?But then how can I? She was all of twelve or thrirteen years old.But I'm very confused.I have read that it can get passed down from offender to victim and that there is always a chance that the victim will go on to offend.The person who I should put the blame on is the neighbour as he was the adult.My sister told my parents at the time that the neighbour was
abusing her and they actually confronted him and were going to press charges.But my sister said that nothing ever eventuated from it and this is just another factor that sent my sister to a mental hospital three years ago and also for all the guilt and shame attached to abusing my brother too.Last night she told me that she will
come with me if I ever want to confront my brother and to get everything out in to the open.I feel that
this is the only way that we all will be able to forgive each other.After my sisters explanation last night
I am ready to forgive both of them.Although this is no excuse, my brother had been abused and was still legally a child when he molested me.I do however blame the adult neighbour who initially abused my sister.
He has since died.My sister only found this out when she tried to find him to confront him.