[lunasol75]

Thanks for the kindness, erinjane. I thought I was missing something.

Luna

Oh, and Wombat... Looks like I figured it out. Thanks for your help!!! I guess *We* aren't so dumb. Now that is Stellar...

[erinjane]

Agreed Wombat, what's with the snark?

[lunasol75]

Why the hostility, Wombat. Obviously, I'm a newbie. You could offer some assistance rather than flaming me!

And Why all the "Guy" comments. Do you really have to be so nasty?

Peace,

Luna

[wombat]

Um, yeah, GUY, because guys never care about what their bodies look like or what other people think of them.

riiiiiiiiight.

and not only did you want to use the comic sans font --- you couldn't even figure out how to do it!

Stellar.

*We* sure are dumb.

[lunasol75]

[font=Comic Sans Ms]

I have been looking for somewhere to vent about this for ages!!! I don't think I'm "skinny" at all. And by the way, I hate that word. The way our society is today, there is not room for "skinny" and "healthy" in the same sentence. I think its a load of crap!!!

I am admittedly a very small framed person. I am an athlete and a dancer (Traditional West African) and I seem to get a good mix of opinions about my physique. Men seem to like me, but the Women!!!! Oh my... I am 5'7ish and weigh about 135 with small breasts and a booty that won't quit. How anyone could come up to me and say, in front of all of my closest friends, that I need to put some meat on my bones is insane. Granted, this person was the ex-girlfriend of my now husband. But still, give me a break!

I am tired of feeling like I need to weigh 165 in order to be accepted here in the good ole' US of A. (Not that there is anything wrong with 165. It would just be ridiculous on my body frame)

The fashion industry seems to be catering to this "bigger is better" mentality, as well. Ten years ago, I was quite a bit smaller at 118 and wore a size 6 or 8 jean. Fast forward to today and, depending on the brand, I need a 2 or a 4 (and I am fifteen pounds heavier). What the heck is that all about ?

Is it just me???

Thanx for listening to me rant and rage.

Peace,

Luna

[anna k]

I never thought Calista looked that terrible. She's very slim and her spine stuck out in '98, but I've seen that with other skinny girls who were otherwise healthy. I saw Calista onstage at a Vagina Monologues show in 2001 and thought she looked fine. She resembled a girl I knew who was very tall and narrow and would get made fun of for being so skinny, but I envied her shape because she looked very unique.

People's body shapes in family vary a lot. My dad's cousin was always very thin, and her daughters are slim but more shapely than straight up-and-down, like she is. I have a D-cup size, and my mom is a B cup size. It's practically a genetic crapshoot.

Reading profiles of actresses, there seems to be a lot of ink devoted to how tiny and doll-like and slim and small they are. Tanya Donnelly of Belly once wrote how she hated how male journalists called her doll-like and childlike, commenting on her "small hands." But the actresses seem to invite the "doll-like, fragile" descriptions because it makes them sound more beautiful or more special.

[Anita18]

Sorry for bringing up this old thread, but yeah, this topic's been on my mind for the past day or so.

I watched the Emmys last week and a lot of people I know online were like, "Calista Flockhart SO has an eating disorder!" and I was sitting there going, "I dunno man, I think I'm as skinny as her nowadays.." (For the record, I thought she looked really unhealthy a few years ago.) And then yesterday during a lab meeting, my boss joked that he was working us to the bone and another scientist said to me, "Yeah, I think you've gotten skinnier since the last time we saw you."

I dunno, I've always been skinny, even as a little girl. I look at photos taken when I was 10, and boy, did I look unhealthy, LOL! Positively anorexic. As a teen, I had some people who hadn't seen me for a few years look at me and go, "Wow, you've gained a lot of weight!" Considering that means +5 lbs mostly in the thighs and the fact that I was still about 10 lbs underweight, you know I was a skinny lil tyke, LOL.

I'm usually not self-conscious about it, but I guess the meeting yesterday was an eye-opener. That's how people recognize me: as the skinny Chinese girl. I've had people ask what my "secret" is, and it's annoying since I can't really say anything besides, "Ummmmm, I don't eat junk food?" and "Both my parents are skeletal?" It's also annoying to read about how "disgusting" Calista Flockhart is for showing her bones, and I'm like, "Hey, I have bones there too! Sor-RY for being bottom-heavy and not having boobs like the rest of the female population!"

I'm not sure where I'm going with this. I've gotten self-confident enough to not have people's comments truly bother me, but I felt I needed to rant for a bit.

[ambercherry]

oh, i love this thread! i remember there used to be a thread with a name that involved hiding behind a broomstick or whatever, similar discussion.

pepper, i could have written your post! except with me, it's bowls of chips that i sit down with at night. and i always wonder how my arteries are doing, etc. i am so not physically active and am feeling so out of shape it's almost embarrasing. but so many people out there think that thinness equals in shape. not so.

and anonymoose, i had that happen a few year ago at work when i just started a new job - a woman stopped me in the hallway and asked what size i was - i didn't even know her name and she's asking what size i wear in clothing. and another time, in front of several coworkers, a person asked me if i was anorexic. i was mortified.

[anonymoose96]

Ophelia: I hear you on the strangers making comments. They think it's perfectly okay to practically scream "OMG your so skinny!!! what size do you wear?! blah blah blah" across the room while I proceed to turn shades of red I didn't know existed. I got that on a weekly basis for the first few months of my new job and I'm only about 5 lbs underweight by the BMI charts. It just irks me because these same people wouldn't dream of walking up to a heavy person and going "OMG your so fat! what size do you wear?!" etc.

[opheliathemuse]

gah, so sorry. guess I shouldn't post so late at night. I thought the last sentence was a little off from your usual posting style. Anyway, please accept my apologies!

[pepper]

notice the post below is by pepper_ and not myself.
i don't know why it's even bothering to impersonate if this is all it has to say. whatever.

ophelia, i have had strangers make comments to me in public about my weight in a totally inappropriate and hurtful way. just because it's more socially acceptable to be a bit underweight than a bit overweight doesn't make it hurt any less to have someone critize you for it. that's just rude.
these days though i have managed to round out my edges so i'm a bit more cushioned in the rump area at least (still slim by any standards). but i wonder about my health. having a high metabolism certainly doesn't encourage me to watch what i eat or get regular exercise. i have the nightly routine of a large bowl of icecream to try putting on some pounds. how's my heart, cardiovascular system, digestion, etc? no one ever tells me i should start working out or avoiding fats and such. now that i'm in my 30's it's past time to start taking better care of myself but i have bad habits deeply ingrained. i don't see the damage from an irregular diet, fatty, starchy foods or lack of exercise so it's easy to ignore. thankfully i'm a generally healthy eater but still.

and no, i am not allowed to have "fat" days either. not that i do very often, i actually prefer the look of a voluptous woman and wish i was about 15 lbs heavier, but sometimes i feel flabby from the lack of working out, ye know? that's a "fat" day for me. goddess help me if i mention That in front of any other women though, gah!

[opheliathemuse]

word, pepper. I feel obligated to eat sometimes when I'm not even hungry, and I get harassed to eat too. I get more flak for it because I'm small. If I am having a feeling fat day, I can't tell anyone without them being at least as thin as I am, without risking the friendship.

[pepper_]

being skinny isn't all it's cracked up to be. when women get jealous of a skinny girl like me, its isn't pretty. and not all guys even like us skinny girls.

still, i feel blessed to have such a high metabolism, because a slim physique is confidence inspiring.

[numbnuts]

Different guys have different preferences regarding women's heights. Personally, I generally find unusually tall and unusually short women attractive. (Average-height women are O.K.) I think a unique height just serves to set a woman apart from the rest, not to make her more or less attractive.

As far as body composition goes, it is well known that most men prefer leaner women. I can appreciate anything from very thin and toned (but not anorexic, no ribs showing) to a little overweight with a curvy, well-proportioned figure. Some other men opt for severely skinny ladies, whereas others can't resist hugely obese mates. I imagine there is also a segment of men who enjoy larger, muscular women, although I don't hear about this group as much.

Regardless of your body type, I'm sure there's someone out there for you. Don't fret if a few people reject or tease you. Rest assured that contrary to popular belief, not all men seek the same body type, so no matter how insecure some of you may be, there are men out there who like you the way you are.