[mandolyn]

(((letterwriters))) ...
especially (((keenkitty))).

dear bad mandi,
you know what you have to do.
just do it.

stop falling back on the old familiar excuses. i'm lazy. i'm a born procrastinator. yada yada yada. stop perpetuating the self-defeat. end the self-sabotage cycle.

just.do.it.
love, good mandi xoxo

[sybarite]

You, again.

You made your point. I'll even do it. But know this isn't the only problem here, by a long shot. What do you think prompted this in the first place?

What I think: I'm happy in my life, happier than I've been in years, and as you know (or maybe you don't, to the fullest extent, although you damn well should)it's a hard won happiness and the dark days were certainly not helped by you back then. I love my work and am getting praise; everyone but you respects what I'm doing and are impressed by the quality of my work. I'm confident, but less so than I should be, because you undermine what I am doing at every fucking stage. And why? I don't want to believe something so reductive as envy, that you didn't do it yourself. I would have thought that is unworthy of you. Yet I can find no other explanation why you continue these veiled criticisms of my work.

Would you have been so angry if you were working harder at fixing the source of the problem, going ahead with action you must undertake for that person's actual happiness? But no; you do nothing on that front and take it all out on me.

I cannot understand why someone otherwise so bright is so clueless about the workings of their own mind and motivations.

During this time you need to take a long look at yourself. I'm far from being the only one to blame here. Hell, maybe this will end up with both of us availing of what you describe. I'd say we could bloody well use it. As long as you keep saying the problem is mine alone we will continue to have problems.

So let it blow up. Then maybe we can make some sense out of the rubble, if sense is to be had.

I can't believe you're doing this again. You're a coward, which is the worst part of all of this.

Me