[mandolyn]

(((letterwriters))) ...
especially (((keenkitty))).

dear bad mandi,
you know what you have to do.
just do it.

stop falling back on the old familiar excuses. i'm lazy. i'm a born procrastinator. yada yada yada. stop perpetuating the self-defeat. end the self-sabotage cycle.

just.do.it.
love, good mandi xoxo

[livelyupurself]

Dear You,

I love more than the moon and the stars and I know that you are going through a difficult time, but that is no excuse for what you did and how you behaved here tonight. You know full well what kind of situation I just got out of. The way you acted tonight smacked of someone elses behavior a bit too much for comfort. So you decided to go off of your meds, I get that now. But that still is no excuse for the way you freaked out on ME tonight. You are so fucking lucky I didn't call the cops myself and let you wake up in the mental ward. I meant what I said, tomorrow you go see your doctor and get this stuff straightened out or there is the door. I will not accept this emotional hostage taking bullshit you pulled tonight. Ever. From anyone. EVER again in MY life. Got it?! Nobody deserves it and the fact that you watched someone else do it to get their way with me and decide to pull it on me to see if it would work, is such complete bullshit. It is betrayal of the highest order as far, as I'm concerned. I know you are sick, I know you are depressed, I know the meds are screwing with you, but GET YOUR ASS SOME HELP. There are people out there who are wasting away from cancer and other degenerative diseases that are seriously painful, and they do not throw fits and break windows and try to excuse it because they are just tired of being in pain. I'm not trying to minimize the pain that you are suffering, but there is NO excuse for physically and emotionally intimidating others, EVER. Period. And it is not just the physical pain, it is depression too. Yes, you are depressed. Admit it. SAY IT OUTLOUD. You are creating your hell with your behavior. Stop moping around, feeling sorry for yourself. I know that was hard to hear and take from me, but that is no excuse for screaming at me and freaking out on me in my own fucking home. And breaking that window, thats just fucking fantasic. Where am, I supposed to get the money to fix it??? You know I'm broke, you are broke, we are all struggling just to make ends meet. FUCK! So what now? What the hell am I supposed to do? What do I tell the fucking property manager? I swear to fucking god if you ever, in your life disrespect me or my home like you did tonight, you will be a self fulfilling prophecy and be completely alone. I have always been your cheerleader, been on your side and by your side, but you have shown such little appreciation lately. It's like you resent me, your miserable to even be around, you make it so uncomfortable for everyone, that you are being avoided. Your'e blatantly seething with jealousy and you blame everyone else for your misery. I know being chronically ill sucks, I know that being depressed sucks, and having the doctors be such morons with your care is frustrating beyond belief. But hurting the ones who love and support you the most, that is not wise. Please, tell the doctor the truth, let them help you. I can't do anything more for you, it is up to you now. I will always love you and always be here for you, but that does not mean that I have to put up with this bullshit from you.

Me