[zoya]

Dear Tesao -

it's so nice to see you back posting!!!

and thank you!!

love,
zoya

PS - I love zora, but I am zoya


ETA: PPS - unless you are talking to zora, in which case, nevermind. (people keep getting us mixed up lately) but thank you anyway! haha

[tesao]

dear querida zora:

WOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

you GO, girlfriend!!!

must go and read more about perfect job. you rock. congrats! parabens!!

dear sun: i adore you. you know i do. so much that i wake up at the exact moment that you appear each morning. please, let me sleep through your spendour on weekends. i am always SO tired, i KNOW i am not getting enough sleep.

lovingly,

tes

dear mimi the african attack cat:

sweetie, i know you think you are hungry. i also know that i am NOT getting.enough.sleep.

so, my dear, please don't torture me so ruthlessly in the morning. you would not DIE if you didn't get to eat until a teeeeeeeny bit later. trust me.

lovins and pettins,

tes

[zoya]

Dear Job Gods -

THANK YOU!! My head is reeling, and the reality of this is just sinking in. I only hope I can live up to everyone's expectations. I will try my damndest.

love,
zoya

[treehugger]

Dear H:

You hurt me deeply today. I cannot believe how you defended the rape of iraqui women. You said, it's just a part of war, and oh, our men are so stressed and they need to take it out on somebody and that they don't know who's going to kill them and who won't.

But I have been raped. How could you be so insensitive? You just don't get it. My pain all came back to me today. Thank you so much. You showed me just how much most men feel about women and women's trials.

Sometimes I wish you were a woman. At leat you'd get it then. You just don't understand what it's like to be prey....to be just, an outlet for men's rage.

Who knew? Who knew that the man I loved for ten years, would probably rape me if I were an iraqui woman?

I cannot wrap my brain around this. Does this mean, that if the Iraqui's were here raping people that you'd justify it if they raped me? Do you really value women that little?

I feel betrayed. I wish I could feel innocent again. But, I am of the age where all the men I know are vietnam vets who hate Jane Fonda. And you wrap so much into your military experience.

WELL WHAT ABOUT MINE????? What about MY experience being a woman in America? You talk about how stressful it is to be thinking that around the corner is a killer who wants to kill you. Well, join the fucking club. I live my ENTIRE LIFE like that. What the hell do you think it's like for a woman walking American streets???

I really, really hate you right now. And you're my only one. You're my one confidante. And, you just don't get it.

Do I hate myself for hanging out with you? How can I justify this within myself?

And why is it, that when a woman starts to show rage, it "must be because she had too much to drink"...why can't we just be ANGRY??????

Is it because it isn't sexy? Are we just fodder for your sexuality? And if we don't fit the mold something's wrong.

And I'm a bad person for feeling. For feeling anything except bubblegum love or sexy. If I feel anything approaching, oh, anger, or indignity....you take offense. I cannot confide in you. I listen to you if you are troubled.

There is NOBODY here for me if I am troubled. I'm just a woman who's been raped. And abused. But it doesn't matter, does it?

I don't know whether to love you or hate you. Right now it's closer to hate.

Please prove me wrong.

Kath

[agent_wasabi]

dear you,

seriously. get over yourself. you're never gonna get through life if you can't even learn how to deal with the smallest things, which are nothing more than minor inconveniences in the grand scheme.

AW

[freckleface2727]

Green Grocer Guy,

you're so adorable- and that mickey mouse tie you wore today- swoon!
crushing on you madly still,

the redhead

[zoya]

dear job gods -

I know which job I wanna take. Because I just realized that one of the job offers puts me in a position at a level that no women has worked at to date in this industry. If I do get the opportunity to do this, I know it will be hard, but I now have an excellent motivation: I will have the opportunity, just by my working at this job, to open doors for women coming up in this industry. Doors that for me, have mostly been opened by cool men who believed in me. Those guys are excellent for helping me, but the next step is for a woman to get in there and lead the way. And if I have the opportunity, I'm gonna take it. The thought of that feels better to me than any perk, benefit, salary, or expense that either of the jobs offer.

So, yeah.
zoya

[lilacwine13]

Dear AZ Guy,
I don't hate you, but I don't love you anymore.

Instead, I am apathetic.

I don't care anymore, I don't have the energy to care, nor do I really have the time.

The worst thing I could do is to get over you, move on with my life, and not give you a second thought or glance. You hate being ignored, not being the center of attention. You would rather that I put up billboards across town warning girls to stay away from you, that all you will do is criticize them to death.

But no, that's giving you too much.

You think that I should want to kill you, hurt you, and you think my doing nothing is stupid and ridiculous.

It's not. I think the phrase "The windmills of the gods grind slowly but finely" sums up life pretty well, and considering your track record on how you treat those around you, it's only a matter of time before you hurt yourself far worse than anyone else could.

My only regret now is not telling you to fuck off when you told me you were married.

Good-bye,
lilacwine13

[zoya]

Dear Mr. HMCHH -

I really wanna stay in touch and be friends. Seriously, the sex doesn't matter to me as much as that - although last night I was horny as hell - but I do wanna stay in touch. I do wanna be friends. Hopefully, that will happen.

yep.
zoya



Dear job gods -

thank you for dropping two of the most incredible job opportunities in my lap. Now please just point me in the direction of which one I should take.

thanks
zoya

[pixiedust]

Dear Ignore function,

You Rock!

Pixiedust

[lucizoe]

Dear world,

Can you stop? Can you go back? Can we take the Angels' request seriously and just.stop.moving?

I can't really take this. I'm not good at this. I already have a huge gaping hole in my soul, fed by suburban sprawl, destruction of wetlands, the raping of old-growth forests, blowing tops off of mountains for a little bit of profit, the strip-mining destroying water tables and landscapes, polar bears eating other polar bears because their desperation is so great, poverty in oil company-owned countries so great that humans will slaughter our closest genetic relatives in order to survive, destroying families which may not be able to articulate their love verbally, but clearly suffer for it.

It's impossible to actually write this. There really are no words to convey the absolutely gutted feelings swirling through my body and brain. Can't really do it.

I am tired of Israel and Palestine. I am sick to death of Zionists screaming that Israel is an innocent victim, that it bears no responsibility, that is is only defending itself. I am sick of my pitiful earnings being docked for taxes to indoctrinate children in our farcical public school system; I don't want my money being used to kill civilians in aggressive military actions; I don't want to feel as guilty as I do for something so completely beyond my control.

I want every single neo-con and nearly every single self-proclaimed Republican lined up in a row and shot, joined by fundamentalists of every stripe. I want the billions of dollars stolen illegitimately from American citizens returned to the communities that are in desperate need of assistance that never, ever comes. I want the truth about the terrorist attacks on this country told, acknowledged, carved into fucking stone.

I want people stranded in war zones to be evacuated by their government without being made to sign an IOU. I want the justice system to be money-blind.

I want active, comprehensive, ongoing sex education that starts in kindergarten. I want little boys to learn from birth that they have no right to anyone's body but their own. I want men who rape vilified, tied to trucks, and driven through streets naked, post-castration, while they bleed to death. I want the mentally ill to be treated and cared for, not living on the streets.

I want the mythical America back.

I hate this version. I want an upgrade, now.

[pixiedust]

Dear Freckle,
I feel so much for you! My ex Took my ring off and broke the soldering. Then while we were trying to put things back together he kept trying to convince me to put it back on, but I told him I wouldn't put it back on until I was sure it was going to stay on. I never did put it back on! We decided to go to counseling to...but he went to his girlfriends house the night before the first appt, so it was a pretty worthless attempt.

I hope you guys can work things out if that is what you really WANT to do. But I hear my own words, and see all the emotions I went through coming out in your posts. It does get better, one way or another. You are at that point where you are balancing back and forth...work it out, or give up. And anything, no matter how small, could tip the scale either way.

A guy I dated used to say a woman has a light switch of love in her...once it flips off, it fries the breaker and it's over. I think your finger is on the switch.

DO you still love him? Why or why not? Why was I attracted to him in the first plce? Are those things still present in our relationship? If things don't change can you go on like this for the rest of your life? Those are the questions I asked myself.

(((endless hugs)))

Pixiedust

[ms.gb]

(((frek)))) i only wish you healing and understanding thru counseling. Counseling in itsself, sucks, but make the most of it!

catsoup, i agree with plynn.

(((all busties)))

[_bush_goddess_]

dear universe:

pppplease let me find the perfect apartment by the end of july! i'm beginning to stress out big time, and as september 1 draws nearer, panic is beginning to set in. i don't think that i'm asking for too much, so please let things fall into place.

please let me find something that:
- allows ella;
- is all inclusive and under $700/mo.;
- semi-furnished (if possible!);
- no signed lease;
- within walking distance, or not too far of a commute by bus to the university.

- me.

[color=#000000]

[moxiegirl]

((((frekle))) you and __ have had a hella long, hard road. Its bound to lead to issues, problems and heartache. Marriage ain't flowers and puppies! If you're honest with yourself and him, you will certainly find whatever path it is for you to take. (((frek)))

[freckleface2727]

[size=1]
everyone,
(first, as I cannot for the life of me, get this damnable text to not italicize 1/2 my post, excuse the style bc sometimes I meant to do it, sometimes not.)


things are better, sort of.

ep emailed back, just as friendly as you could please, all back-woods fresh off the 'mater truck & happy to hear from me, which is how she is. (eye roll)
didn't mention talking to my _ whatsoever though.

so.. I demanded he email her. right then.
pissed the hell out of him bc he really didn't get that I was that upset (dumbass) & [i]thought I was making way too much out of this, but he sent her a very pedestrian note, saying he couldn't talk to her anymore bc it wasn't right in doing so behind his wife's back. (duh). and she wrote back w/in a few hours agreeing, and how she never meant it as anything but friendship and she'd never done anything behind her own husband's back & it didn't feel right, I think now that it was brought to her attention.

I put my ring back on but truthfully I still don't trust him for shit.
it's so easy to fake emails, and he fwd'd them to me, I just don't trust it.
I swear I'd like to take an axe to our computer and hack it to bits, but I know that's really not the root of our problems.
will I be wearing my ring tomorrow? I don't know. it's not really about the ring. taking it off (something I swore I'd never ever do, so naieve I was once) is liberating, and I enjoy the lightness for lack of weight it affords, even though it's a thin simple band. I'm just so..[/b]ANGRY at him right now... so many different issues and I can't seem to get his attenion on Any of it. I don't know if he thinks we'll just keep rolling though and let it pass over or what .. but we've got some (of his) serious work -related changes that are going to majorly tilt the/my/our world as we've always known it on it's side & flip it inside out, and while yes I am supporting it for him, he really sort of blindsided me w/ that too, leaving me not much of a choice w/out a lot of resentment for holding him back. I don't know.
the older I get, the less I can roll w/ shit like this. I am tired. marriage is not at ALL what I ever ever imagined, and not at all in the good or best ways. those hallmark commericial moments are LIES.

we're going to do counceling. or at least he's aggreed to it. reminding me even that once it was He pushing for it, and I was reticent , which is true so who is more guilty?
if this isn't the life I want, what is stopping me from persuing a different one or at least getting off my big fat ass and working hard to make this one better?

he & I get along great. that is the irony. when the big crap isn't hitting the fan, we have so much fun together, and w/ our girl too.
things that show me that there is a lot left to fight for and protect. everyone else thinks we have this fabulous marriage, that aside from my notorious redheaded temper, we are the picture of a successful relationship. if only they knew.

thanks for letting me vent & all your hugs, it means the world bc there's not a soul here I can say this stuff to in my life,
love,

freckle

[crazyoldcatlady]

dear today:

thanks for the cluster fuck. how about we try for tomorrow, too?

dear "boss":
i was right. you are passive agressive. try not being a fucking pussy and talking to me in person instead of doing it through email?

just because you and the other staff don't see me around your circle doesn't mean i'm not WORKING MY FUCKING ASS OFF. I CANNOT MAKE MORE HOURS IN THE DAY THEN THERE ARE. I'M TRYING, FOR FUCKS SAKE!!!!!

dear self:
stop self-medicating with vending machine goodies.

[plynn]

I have a Catsoup-related confession to make: I addressed my sister's wedding invitation to her and 'guest' b/c I hated her abusive fuckup of a boyfriend and hoped he would pick up on the subtle diss and realise he was deeply unwelcome.

However, I tried really hard to make sure I got everyone else's significant others correct, even if I had never met them. So, I'm much crueler to family members than I am to strangers.

I am a terrible person.

I suggest you buy them a pointedly lame present, like something you'd get for an office gift exchange where you've pulled the name of someone in accounting you've never talked to. Like a $10 gift card for Walmart, or maybe a sample-size gift basket of cheap bath broducts from the drugstore. Don't wipe the dust off the bow.

[berenguela]

(((freckle))) We're here.

[wombat]

girlbomb!! you rule!

ah, yes, the people who think "good books" are the ones that are in New Yorker.

Ack!! I know them well.

The ones that think PoMo language is still happening -- that try to "one-up" you on matter of opinion by referencing THEIR opinon with some smug, cliquey, web site that gives more weight to the New Yorker.

the Grad Student nazis.

the Feminists Who Only Like Those With Wealthy Husbands.

Alas!! I know them well.

Don't forget the Controllers and Owners of the Transgressive Sexuality Trendoids

*Heart* them (sarcasm)

Yep, they're not being able to be superior any more when they had all that pampering and privilege really really bugs them.

Hooray for you. Serious. Bug them some more