[sweetn_low]

ok...i *lost my virginity* last thursday nite (and by that i mean penetrative sex involving a penis). and it was fun and enjoyable. it did hurt alittle trying to get past the fleshy outter lips, but now i've figured out how to avoid that. other than that...it was fun, like i said. no fireworks though, no orgasims (i didn't expect any). no big deal.

i almost feel cheated that i didn't bleed all over the bed or suffer the pain of the loss, b/c i was so prepared for all that shit to happen. ok...i *almost* feel cheated. lol. i'm glad of course that i find it comfortable and enjoyable. but i don't feel any different about myself or anything else. why is sex built up so much and carry a stigma? it's just natural...not like the end all be all of existance fun but it's just...nice, i guess.

i wasn't really expecting this...

[zoya]

I'm the same way - I get off on watching. There's something about watching a guy - erm - manhandling himself - that's hot... and of course, it is educational. I find that most guys, after some of them have the initial bit of shyness, actually really like knowing that you're into watching them. I also find that it brings you closer, to be able to step beyond that whole facade of "I'm so great in bed that I should know EXACTLY what you like right off the bat!" because, really, that only happens in porno movies, not real life. I too, think it's good to talk about this stuff while the action is going on - I'd feel a little too clinical talking about what a guy likes in a hand job while we were sitting at the dinner table, fully clothed or something like that.

I also think that it's an evolving thing. What your guy might be willing to let on that he likes, may change a little as you get to know him better. For example, the first time I had sex with the guy I'm currently hanging out with, I thought he was really vanilla and needed some schooling - when in reality, as he got more comfortable, and I asked about what he liked, etc. I found out he's totally into kink, pretty good at most stuff, and a very willing learner and teacher about himself. So be patient and let stuff unfold - don't worry about being totally perfect the first (or second or third) time you try it. If he knows you're a willing learner and partner in educating each other about yourselves, I'm sure he'll be just fine with all of it.