[sweetn_low]

ok...i *lost my virginity* last thursday nite (and by that i mean penetrative sex involving a penis). and it was fun and enjoyable. it did hurt alittle trying to get past the fleshy outter lips, but now i've figured out how to avoid that. other than that...it was fun, like i said. no fireworks though, no orgasims (i didn't expect any). no big deal.

i almost feel cheated that i didn't bleed all over the bed or suffer the pain of the loss, b/c i was so prepared for all that shit to happen. ok...i *almost* feel cheated. lol. i'm glad of course that i find it comfortable and enjoyable. but i don't feel any different about myself or anything else. why is sex built up so much and carry a stigma? it's just natural...not like the end all be all of existance fun but it's just...nice, i guess.

i wasn't really expecting this...

[zoya]

I agree with what everyone has said here - I think also that one reason people say to wait until you're ready, is that sex can bring up all sorts of emotional issues that you may not be ready for - well, if you're not ready. I think that for most of us girls, sex does equate some level of emotional attachment, and it's good to be in a place personally where you know that either you DO have that emotional attachment established with a partner first, or that you are able to deal with not getting emotionally attached if you are choosing to just go for it.

I didn't lose my virginity until I was nearly 19, it was with a recently ex boyfriend who I had always wished I'd just gone for it with. I ran into him one day on campus and he asked if I wanted to go hang out with him at the house he was house sitting at that weekend, and I knew I was just going to go with him and go for it. He was the same age as me, but way more experienced, and at that point, I knew we weren't going to get back together, but I just wanted to get having sex for the first time over with, already. I very much chose for myself when I wanted to do it. He was great at guiding me through it, although I do remember feeling a lot more attached to him afterwards than I expected to. At the time, I really wasn't completely aware of the concept that guys can separate sex and feelings for someone a lot more easily than we can, and I wasn't particularly ready for the new attachment I ended up feeling for him.

It would have been great if I had some sort of woman as a mentor, or a place like the lounge to learn about this stuff from. I think I would have been a lot more aware of those emotions that can come up and would have been able to deal with it better, or I may have just chosen to wait a bit. As it was, he and I fucked a few more times, then I didn't have sex again for nearly 18 months, until I met my college boyfriend, who I went out with for nearly 2 years. By that time, I'd figured out that I do need to have some sort of interest from someone in more than just sex (even if it ends up not going anywhere) if I'm going to get intimate with them on a regular basis.

anyway, just my story and another bit of insight as to what sex can bring up for people. I think that all of you who are virgins, or new to having sex, are really lucky to be able to get insight from some amazing women who have been around the block a time or two (or ten...) and know wherof they speak!

anyway,