[pherber]

I've got some weird and awesome news, well a month ago I wrote this:

I also joined German language Wikipedia, after having been an English language wikipedian for quite a while, and fell out with a guy, who wrote "so and so suffers from asperger's syndrome" and "despite the phenomenon of autism...he managed to graduate!" he flipped out, because I dared to edit his offensive shite, saying it doesn't matter, that I have AS, while he thinks it's o.k. to make all people with AS look like idiots.... grrrr...

Well the "so and so" is a famous autistic author, whose works hasn't been translated into english, yet.
Most bizarrely, that author has contacted me, because his english isn't that good, and if I could help him with his some internet stuff.
He has read the argument on his articles' discussion page, and loved what I wrote.
My life is crazy.

[knorl05]

hey pherber... i pm'ed you.

[pherber]

...

Oh No! Why did you edit your post? It made so much sense, and you were right, too!



If noone derailed this thread from time to time, I'd only be speaking to myself...

you actually made such a good point, and I used this smiley> because you hit a nerve with me.

I'd hate it, if you believed your input wasn't appreciated.

[knorl05]

no pherber, i'm sorry about that. dont worry about it... i just realized, i have a tendency of derailing topics. this is about AS! not my personal ramblings about life...

*busties been so patient with me about this.. oops. sorry i've lacked proper board etiquette*

[pherber]

knorl, I'll think about what you said. There's definetely too much stuff distracting me at the moment.




(((((((((BUSTies)))))))))

[knorl05]

...

[pherber]

Thanks! Funny, I was right in my guess, but guessed other reasons for it's use. Good to know about that, too. It's why I don't spell a******n anymore...

[treehugger]

Pherber,

I'm using the word "maude" instead of "g**d because a certain disruptive person on this board, I suspect, searches the board for words that prompts him to come in the thread and start saying bible verses. And I think "g o d" is one of the words he searches.

It's just to keep his nose OUT of this thread. If it works.

[pherber]

That's so true, knorl!
Especially since most mental problems are caused by bullshit, that happens.
With AS being a lifelong neurological thing, that people are born with, it won't get "better" as such, but therapy can still help coping with it.
I'm seriously considering some kind of counselling myself, because after knowing about AS for seven months now, I still don't get used to it. I did give myself some time, realizing that this is a huge thing in my life to deal with, but now it's like, shouldn't I be done with it, and just move on?



Thanks for welcoming me in the decorating thread, treehugger, I so admire y'alls projects!

This situation with your colleage happens quite often. People who read about AS, might recognize themselves, or someone they know, and I'm not implying, that this is a wrong assumption, btw.

When I was diagnosed, my sister and my fathers wife researched AS on the internet, because they had no idea what it is, so when they found out more, they were all like "Oh no, dad's got that, too!"
That's something I've been suspecting right from the beginning, because I could always relate to his eccentricities, that drove the rest of the family mad.
Everything just made so much sense to them all of a sudden, and my dad and me are treated with much more patience now.
Maybe I should mention, that AS often runs in families, since it's a genetic thing.
The doctor actually asked me if anyone in the family is very much like me, which kind of proved my suspicion.

The problem with a situation like this is of course, do I tell someone if I suspect they have AS, and if I do, how do I tell them?
I think it's important for a person to know why they are that way, because a lot of people with AS will get serious problems, like depression, etc. if they don't get proper diagnosis, that's also why I was so concerned for knorl to find out more.
Also the sooner someone learns about AS, the better they can adjust to it, and that's the problem with my dad:
My family noticed, how much better I'm doing already, and now they want me to tell dad the good news about him, because they know how well we get along.
Of course they're hoping he'll become a little more socially acceptable, and I don't even blame them, even if it seems rude, to expect him to change. He sometimes hangs up the phone mid sentence, if he doesn't know what to say anymore, or won't call my sister on her birthday.

The thing is, my dad is 75 years old, and I already find it hard to adjust, and I'm in my 30s.
I so regret not having learned about AS 20 years ago, and feel like that time has been stolen.
It would be more than cruel, making him question his entire life, and someone that old can just not change anymore IMO. I did actually try hinting at it, like: "my doctor thinks you could have AS, too..." and he of course bristled at that suggestion. ( Not sure if that's the right expression, I'm stuck for english words... )
Despite his sometimes upsetting behaviour, he's such a whimsical and funny old man, with a heart of pure gold, I dearly love him, and don't want to give the impression he's an ass.




Curious: What does "Oh, my maude" mean? maimy's been saying that, too. It sounds like the female version of "Oh my gawd" to me... that guess will probably make you LOL, but I'm foreign!

[knorl05]

right on pherber.. no offense. i know you were only trying to provide insight, so that's cool. it's just a sad misconception i've noticed that those who are considered "mentally ill" cant become healthy with better choices in life. i truly believe that with proper therapy, most anyone can go on to live the life they want.

[treehugger]

Actually, pherber, most of the guys I work with don't seem to get him.

I didn't get him, myself, until I stumbled on a description of AS once somewhere and the light clicked and I said, "oh, my maude, that is C!"

Anyway, I don't think C knows he has it, either.

You'd be very welcome in the decorating thread, too!

[pherber]

knorl, I'm glad, you're doing fine! *and not taking offence, I didn't want to sound like an ass...

[knorl05]

pherber: thank you for your concern. actually, i am working consistently with a therapist. i have no behaviors and i do not act out anymore. i discuss my feelings with my therapist, engage in exercise and healthy living, and i have learned to channel my restlessness to art. i have a different idea of what's important in life than most people. now i've redirected my attention to helping others in need, and i continue to engage in activities that empower me as an individual. thank you for your perspective, i really appreciate your honesty and feedback!

[pherber]

thanks treehugger, that's so nice!
Does that guy know, he has AS, or is he one of these people, where everybody knows, he has AS, except himself?

I might actually join you in the home decoration thread, pretty soon, I've been lurking there a lot, but didn't have anything to add yet.



knorl, I was thinking about how to put this, without being too critical... well, maybe people are just worried, because if you have (had?) an eating disorder, that's a scary thing?
This borderline thing, is a common misdiagnosis, btw, I would get a second opinion on the whole issue.
It's not so much about finding labels, but trying to understand where the "thinking" comes from, because it makes a big difference, if someone has a neurological, or psychological "disorder" (disorder, for lack of a better word..)



anna k, I finally answered your questionaire. Hope it's any good!

[treehugger]

I don't have Asperger's, but I have a (more than strong) suspicion that one of my co-workers does. So it's interesting for me to lurk here. I hope that's okay.

One of the most striking things about C. (my coworker) is his obsession with cars. Even to the extent that the only songs he likes are referring to either driving or cars. Pretty much all of the other traits associated with Aspergers, also fit him.

Anyway, I'm glad to be able to get this little "snapshot" outside of a NT mindset, and into an AS experience.

Pherber, I especially enjoyed your writing about an Aspie controlled world!

[knorl05]

AS? i have tendencies. diagnosed? no. at one time, i've been considered borderline personality disorder. severely depressed. suffered from eating disorder. victim of body dysmorphic disorder. knowing these things about myself, but not allowing them to define me, has allowed me to live my own life. it's like, ok, this is what "NT's" use to describe me so that they can better understand me. but that doesnt mean that i am this broken individual. i am simply more unusual than most people. it's not their responsibility to tell me who i am, or what i'm about, that is on me to figure out my own mind (sure, those who have studied these disorders can provide valuable insight, but essentially it comes down to your understanding of your own mind). there is a place for every person on this earth simply because they are here on earth. it takes hard work to figure out where to apply ourselves, but it is so worth it. it's so much better than going around looking for the next best thing to "fix" us or make us who we think others think we are supposed to be. when you know yourself, you believe in yourself, you value yourself, and then what others think of you doesnt matter.

[anna k]

It's cool.

[pherber]

Yes! It's so cool, she's using that on a lecture! Your mom seems so great!


I know, it's a bit childish and silly, to complain in a forum about other forums, but they've bullied and ridiculed me so much, that I've been crying all night. So there's no way I'm going back to them. I can't believe the level of hostility and nastiness on some forums... and they have moderators!

I also joined German language Wikipedia, after having been an English language wikipedian for quite a while, and fell out with a guy, who wrote "so and so suffers from asperger's syndrome" and "despite the phenomenon of autism...he managed to graduate!" he flipped out, because I dared to edit his offensive shite, saying it doesn't matter, that I have AS, while he thinks it's o.k. to make all people with AS look like idiots.... grrrr...



Sorry, I'm still in such a pissy mood.



PS:
anna k, I'm answering your questionaire, I just need a little time, only a few hours.

[mouse]

hey pherber,
thanks for the explanation. that's awful about the forums' stance on feminism....but keep doing what you're doing. honestly i think the biggest problem feminist issues face is simple lack of knowledge. keep teaching 'em!

so, i did email your alternate-universe thing to my mom and not only did she think it was great, it's inspired her to talk about that in an upcoming seminar lecture she's giving (the school she works at also has an accredited seminar program for the coworkers (everyone who helps out there who isn't a teacher) and she does a lot of that). i hope that's okay--she only knows you as "a girl i talked to on a message board". but i think it's cool

[pherber]

So you're have AS, too?



I just can't read back in the thread... everything after 3 pages is sucked into the lounges' black hole, so I have to ask these dumb questions.