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> Frustrated Singles
kittenb
post May 1 2006, 09:19 AM
Post #1


There is nothing ironic about Show Choir!
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Posts: 3,261
From: Chicago


celimene - the end of your post just made me love you.
Thanks to the world of on-line dating, I have had more dates this year then ever before, and I am not sure what I thought I was missing. It is just not as fun as I thought it would be and I am more than a little frustrated. I am not sure what I should do next.


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In times of destruction, create something.
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Kalevra
post Sep 11 2006, 10:00 PM
Post #2


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 129


Courtship……not easy to explain in so much as there are many contexts in which it is used. In matters of the heart, it has always been the place of a man, to win his ‘maiden’ over, to WOO her and ultimately gain her affection. Not an easy task, I can tell you.

In some instances, the courtship is a formal affair, for instances, the Indian/Hindu way to marriage is through an arrangement between two sets of parents. The decision is made (financial obligations settled, yuck!) and only then does courtship proceed, and it is by the book! pre-conceived step-by-step! 65% of my colleagues are in arranged marriages, although I CANNOT even bear to think of it as an option, discussions with them have lead me to alter my stance on the viability of the idea. I still think it is un-natural though. dry.gif

Courtship – The Little House on the Prairie version:
In normal terms (to Western beliefs that is), a man might be required to ‘impress’ his lady, and she in turn, must be impressed by him! This task is made difficult by the simple fact that humans have little sub-conscious games; that all day long, get played out between each other. The most common of these games is the acceptance/rejection game. And this game is not only played between the opposing sexes, we play it on our sexual brethren (eep sisters, sisters, I meant sisters….! Whew) This game is played in everyday life take business for example, accept a person in your office, reject his product as unnecessary; accept business offer, then reject it until your price is right etc etc, you get the picture..
Ok, so now a man approaches a girl with the intention of getting to know her better (he likes her, her beauty and attention draw him in), she accepts his initial advance, but then has to reject him lightly (not wanting to appear too keen, or god-forbid –EASY). So he goes off again, but he now has something of hers, INTEREST and of course her phone number, so he will call her! He does so and asks her on a date, she accepts his offer, but rejects the idea of Thursday evening, says Friday would be better (making sure it is done on her terms). He arrives with flowers, he knows girls love flowers, but these are special flowers, he so needs her to like HIS flowers. And they go off on a date…..the talk is nervous, but reassuring, she is warming to him, but again needs to know how dedicated he is, will he be a good partner & provider, so at the end of the night when he leans in for the kiss on the doorstep, she turns away, but does come back to give him a ‘peck’ on the cheek ( he now knows she is responsive to his advances, but wants him to take it slower). And so days, and weeks pass, and eventually mutual respect, admiration and in a few cases, adoration take over, she succumbs to his advances because she now knows him, trusts him and feels like spending time with him, and they live happily ever after…in love, forever! rolleyes.gif

Courtship – The Modern Version. (Please excuse me if it seems a little crass, but this is where it is headed, methinks)

Get her smashed up ( Frozen Margherita’s work well for this I am told) give her some bullsh*t speech about being a helicopter pilot/lion-tamer/dolphin trainer….Hey Presto

We all still like the former, right?


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I like to keep a bottle of drink handy in case I see a snake, which I also keep handy - W.C. Fields
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kittenb   Frustrated Singles   May 1 2006, 09:19 AM
greenbean   Frustrated Singles   May 14 2006, 11:53 AM
katiebelle2882   Frustrated Singles   May 14 2006, 12:36 PM
greenbean   Frustrated Singles   May 14 2006, 12:55 PM
john   Frustrated Singles   May 14 2006, 01:25 PM
autumn24   Frustrated Singles   May 14 2006, 01:36 PM
katiebelle2882   Frustrated Singles   May 14 2006, 03:46 PM
bklynhermit   Frustrated Singles   Jun 10 2006, 05:27 PM
emtee   Frustrated Singles   Jun 10 2006, 05:54 PM
misspissed   Frustrated Singles   Jun 10 2006, 07:08 PM
bklynhermit   Frustrated Singles   Jun 10 2006, 08:01 PM
katiebelle2882   Frustrated Singles   Jun 10 2006, 08:14 PM
bklynhermit   Frustrated Singles   Jun 10 2006, 09:35 PM
lunasol   Frustrated Singles   Jun 11 2006, 11:24 AM
katiebelle2882   Frustrated Singles   Jun 11 2006, 12:52 PM
emtee   Frustrated Singles   Jun 11 2006, 03:40 PM
stillveryangry   Frustrated Singles   Jun 11 2006, 06:32 PM
katiebelle2882   Frustrated Singles   Jun 11 2006, 09:21 PM
maryjo   Frustrated Singles   Jun 12 2006, 03:18 AM
anna_k   Frustrated Singles   Jun 14 2006, 09:25 PM
katiebelle2882   Frustrated Singles   Jun 14 2006, 10:07 PM
cloverbee   Frustrated Singles   Jun 14 2006, 10:50 PM
octobersky   Frustrated Singles   Jun 24 2006, 02:13 PM
emtee   Frustrated Singles   Jun 24 2006, 06:27 PM
ill_cover_you   Frustrated Singles   Jul 3 2006, 12:03 AM
cloverbee   Frustrated Singles   Jul 5 2006, 09:35 PM
divaintraining   Frustrated Singles   Jul 6 2006, 07:37 AM
bella_coola   Frustrated Singles   Jul 6 2006, 02:19 PM
glassk   Frustrated Singles   Jul 6 2006, 04:21 PM
cloverbee   Frustrated Singles   Jul 6 2006, 05:15 PM
stargazer75   Frustrated Singles   Jul 7 2006, 11:21 AM
auralpoison   Frustrated Singles   Jul 7 2006, 11:23 AM
bella_coola   Frustrated Singles   Jul 7 2006, 12:12 PM
caroline_no   I'd like Joey Ramone in my shower, too, ha ha...   Jul 20 2006, 10:22 AM
glassk   no freaking kidding... "open relationships...   Jul 21 2006, 02:07 PM
cloverbee   so where is the best place to meet men? do you rea...   Jul 21 2006, 06:31 PM
anna k   Oh yeah. I've been hanging out with this guy w...   Jul 21 2006, 09:51 PM
bella coola   Hey clover, I'm a fan of internet dating mysel...   Aug 1 2006, 11:41 AM
emtee   I'm going to x-post this in a few threads, sor...   Aug 2 2006, 01:10 PM
thepointybird   Ok, I am just really REALLY sick of being single. ...   Aug 2 2006, 03:48 PM
anna k   I hear you, thepointybird. I often read about wome...   Aug 2 2006, 04:27 PM
katiebelle2882   anna, i am failing to see how writers designers et...   Aug 2 2006, 05:12 PM
anna k   I meant that the mention of a husband or a boyfrie...   Aug 2 2006, 06:53 PM
thepointybird   Unfortunately, I don't even have the luxury of...   Aug 3 2006, 01:45 PM
whino   Thepointybird, I hear you loud and clear. I've...   Aug 7 2006, 07:26 PM
hcbeck   I'm at the scary stage when I feel frustrated ...   Aug 13 2006, 05:14 PM
thepointybird   Hcbeck, I totally know what you mean! A guy wh...   Aug 16 2006, 06:54 AM
Owl_Gang_Girl   I'm 19 years old and every day at some point I...   Aug 14 2006, 08:19 AM
caroline_no   The cute boys are not in NYC! Or if they are, ...   Aug 16 2006, 10:00 AM
sassygrrl   Caroline, they're not in GA either. Everyone h...   Aug 17 2006, 07:59 PM
katiebelle2882   caroline, i speak from experience when i tell you ...   Aug 18 2006, 02:14 PM
mr_falljackets   nm   Aug 18 2006, 03:03 PM
sassygrrl   Katiebelle, must agree with you on that. My last b...   Aug 18 2006, 04:19 PM
katiebelle2882   sooo it appears to me that the cool boys dont even...   Aug 20 2006, 10:23 PM
Anita18   I'm not really sure why I'm posting here -...   Aug 20 2006, 11:30 PM
katiebelle2882   yeah i dont know. i love hooking up, and basically...   Aug 21 2006, 08:44 AM
bottleblack   Oy, I've been in Vancouver for three months no...   Aug 23 2006, 09:29 PM
cloverbee   Okay, I hear you. The cute ones are always wierd. ...   Aug 26 2006, 02:18 PM
xexyz   Well, from the other side, I don't think there...   Aug 29 2006, 11:38 AM
emtee   I am so. Frustrated. I don’t know why it’s so...   Aug 31 2006, 02:03 PM
anna k   I feel for you Emtee. I've never had a boyfrie...   Aug 31 2006, 04:12 PM
datagirl   I have had a couple of longtermers but now I'v...   Aug 31 2006, 06:08 PM
whino   Datagirl, did you do two separate profiles and get...   Sep 1 2006, 08:56 PM
datagirl   Whino, I only changed my original profile. ...   Sep 2 2006, 11:08 PM
sassygrrl   I've only been single for like 2 months, but I...   Sep 5 2006, 07:31 PM
dani837   "Fuck fish in the sea. There's plenty of ...   Sep 5 2006, 10:51 PM
cloverbee   dani, thanks for that informative post. very inter...   Sep 6 2006, 12:09 AM
sassygrrl   Cloverbee, just got down reading that book. It...   Sep 6 2006, 04:57 PM
stargazer   well, i guess i have to admit i am a frustrated si...   Sep 6 2006, 07:29 PM
dani837   dani~i agree with you about the whole love thi...   Sep 7 2006, 08:27 AM
stargazer   yeah, i love that movie too. my great grandfather...   Sep 7 2006, 08:56 AM
anna k   I've given myself a moratorium on dating. Usua...   Sep 7 2006, 11:58 AM
sassygrrl   Love Serendity. Hell, love any John Cusack movie f...   Sep 7 2006, 05:37 PM
emtee   I'm trying to remain positive here- but when m...   Sep 7 2006, 09:22 PM
flanker_ji   I want to know, what's so scary about a little...   Sep 7 2006, 11:35 PM
hcbeck   Not having had a relationship for a long time is e...   Sep 9 2006, 07:30 AM
stargazer   flanker~i don't think there's anything wro...   Sep 9 2006, 07:46 AM
crazyoldcatlady   hcbeck, i can see that. some people are not serial...   Sep 9 2006, 01:30 PM
sassygrrl   I don't think I'm desperate. And, I'm ...   Sep 9 2006, 02:05 PM
stargazer   sassygrrl~i agree that alone time is good. especi...   Sep 10 2006, 06:39 AM
sassygrrl   Star, yeah I'm approaching 30 in Feb. Not necc...   Sep 10 2006, 08:08 AM
Kalevra   mmmm, seem to be some commonalities here... I am...   Sep 10 2006, 08:49 AM
princessinabox   I hear you guys on the not wanting to settle down ...   Sep 10 2006, 10:13 AM
Kalevra   princess....no real pressure from outside, but hav...   Sep 10 2006, 10:37 AM
katiebelle2882   i am 24 so what i would like to know is: what exac...   Sep 11 2006, 11:14 AM
anna k   I would think dating casually and not expecting ki...   Sep 11 2006, 11:35 AM
Kalevra   Ok.....no-one has replied to this question present...   Sep 11 2006, 01:47 PM
princessinabox   I'd like to hear a male perspective on that on...   Sep 11 2006, 02:50 PM
sassygrrl   I wonder that too. It seems so outdated nowadays. ...   Sep 11 2006, 03:18 PM
katiebelle2882   yeah i am just confused as to what it entails. i d...   Sep 11 2006, 03:34 PM
sassygrrl   I would want it back if the men actually enjoyed t...   Sep 11 2006, 05:33 PM
bella coola   Even at my tender age, I have had the pleasure of ...   Sep 12 2006, 09:09 AM
katiebelle2882   eh-see, it doesnt appeal to me in the least. too o...   Sep 12 2006, 09:19 AM
bella coola   Well maybe there's two types of courtship. Be...   Sep 12 2006, 10:31 AM
katiebelle2882   yeah i could totally see that bella. i just feel t...   Sep 12 2006, 10:59 AM
sassygrrl   I think it also comes down to respect. I just miss...   Sep 13 2006, 04:01 PM
greenbean   Hello! Thought I'd pop in since I'm e...   Sep 13 2006, 05:04 PM
sassygrrl   I find it weird too. Like I really want to sleep w...   Sep 13 2006, 05:08 PM
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