[kittenb]

celimene - the end of your post just made me love you.
Thanks to the world of on-line dating, I have had more dates this year then ever before, and I am not sure what I thought I was missing. It is just not as fun as I thought it would be and I am more than a little frustrated. I am not sure what I should do next.

[Kalevra]

Courtship……not easy to explain in so much as there are many contexts in which it is used. In matters of the heart, it has always been the place of a man, to win his ‘maiden’ over, to WOO her and ultimately gain her affection. Not an easy task, I can tell you.

In some instances, the courtship is a formal affair, for instances, the Indian/Hindu way to marriage is through an arrangement between two sets of parents. The decision is made (financial obligations settled, yuck!) and only then does courtship proceed, and it is by the book! pre-conceived step-by-step! 65% of my colleagues are in arranged marriages, although I CANNOT even bear to think of it as an option, discussions with them have lead me to alter my stance on the viability of the idea. I still think it is un-natural though.

Courtship – The Little House on the Prairie version:
In normal terms (to Western beliefs that is), a man might be required to ‘impress’ his lady, and she in turn, must be impressed by him! This task is made difficult by the simple fact that humans have little sub-conscious games; that all day long, get played out between each other. The most common of these games is the acceptance/rejection game. And this game is not only played between the opposing sexes, we play it on our sexual brethren (eep sisters, sisters, I meant sisters….! Whew) This game is played in everyday life take business for example, accept a person in your office, reject his product as unnecessary; accept business offer, then reject it until your price is right etc etc, you get the picture..
Ok, so now a man approaches a girl with the intention of getting to know her better (he likes her, her beauty and attention draw him in), she accepts his initial advance, but then has to reject him lightly (not wanting to appear too keen, or god-forbid –EASY). So he goes off again, but he now has something of hers, INTEREST and of course her phone number, so he will call her! He does so and asks her on a date, she accepts his offer, but rejects the idea of Thursday evening, says Friday would be better (making sure it is done on her terms). He arrives with flowers, he knows girls love flowers, but these are special flowers, he so needs her to like HIS flowers. And they go off on a date…..the talk is nervous, but reassuring, she is warming to him, but again needs to know how dedicated he is, will he be a good partner & provider, so at the end of the night when he leans in for the kiss on the doorstep, she turns away, but does come back to give him a ‘peck’ on the cheek ( he now knows she is responsive to his advances, but wants him to take it slower). And so days, and weeks pass, and eventually mutual respect, admiration and in a few cases, adoration take over, she succumbs to his advances because she now knows him, trusts him and feels like spending time with him, and they live happily ever after…in love, forever!

Courtship – The Modern Version. (Please excuse me if it seems a little crass, but this is where it is headed, methinks)

Get her smashed up ( Frozen Margherita’s work well for this I am told) give her some bullsh*t speech about being a helicopter pilot/lion-tamer/dolphin trainer….Hey Presto

We all still like the former, right?