[erinjane]

Yeah, same as me, and i've only been on the site for half a day. I'm hanging out with a great friend lately and she's a great concert buddy. This weekend we're going out on Saturday and Sunday so I'm hoping someone there will catch my eye.

I don't think I really believe in internet dating either. Maybe it's because I've had bad luck with the few people I've met from the internet. I have a feeling I'll be deleting my profile in the not-too-distant future.

[candycane_girl]

erinjane, I know what you mean. I have a weakness for indie guys and something tells me they're probably out enjoying concerts instead of staying home and signing up for a dating site. So far I've only met the one guy I mentioned below (who never seems to answer his phone) and I've gotten a lot of messages from weird guys that don't look the least bit like my type.

[snow white]

candy, i wouldn't call him again. he's got your #, he can call u now or e-mail you. i hope he gives u a call-but i don't trust internet dating. it just never feels genuine to me. (and yet here i go to check yahoo personals again )

[erinjane]

I just joined a free dating site. I'm not very optimistic because it doesn't seem to me that the types of fellas i'm into will be on a dating site, but it'd be nice to go on a date at least.

[candycane_girl]

samiam I know just how you feel. I feel so alone and I'm constantly imagining little scenarios of my dream relationship.

I talked to this guy last Friday on okcupid's IM for well over an hour. He seemed really cute. I talked to him on the phone on Sunday but he was busy (at a football game) so I told him I would call him later this week. I tried calling last night but there was no answer. I just tried this afternoon and once again there was no answer but then again he could be in class. What is going on? I mean, we both seem interested in each other but I feel like it's nearly impossible to actually talk to him. What should I do?

[xexyz]

Well I just discovered that the woman I've been kind-of flirting with is engaged, so at least I know that that isn't going to go anywhere.

Also deleted my okcupid account, since that never went anywhere either.

[samiam]

Ahh, intimacy frustration dreams. Yup, had them a few times or more in my life.

The list. The list the list the list... I want what is on the list. I want it badly. I want it now. I want to come home to a man who will inspire me to cook again. A man who will say, casually, over said meal, "hey, this weekend? How about we finish painting the trim on the front of the house and then spend Sunday at the lake with the dog?" To which I will reply, "yeah, that sounds great. We could get burritos at T's and build rock towers at Hidden Beach! Oh, wait, I need to get the oil changed on my truck." "No worries, leave it with me tomorrow and I will get it done at lunch," he tells me as he reaches for the pepper. And you know what? I will not worry. I will, without even thinking, take his car in the morning and watch him drive away in my truck. I will adjust the seat so (perfect in his eyes) 5'4.5" me can reach the pedals and change the radio station to the silly morning radio show I like and not even worry that he might find it on that station later.

Frustrated single? You bet.

[erinjane]

It's funny, I was just thinking the other day how I've developed this list of things I look for. And it's not a list that I've written out, it's just like a mental checklist when I meet someone, but I'm becoming a lot more aware of how I'll go through it.

I ran into casual sex guy on the weekend and now I feel so sexually frustrated. I don't really want to sleep with him again because I really feel like I need to have relationship sex that's somewhat meaningful, but I'm still thinking about it.

Last night I had a dream some attractive no-one-in-particular was kissing my neck and I was just melting. *swoon*

[nickclick]

facial hair is a must, or at least the ease of ability to grow it. i'm not into that leo dicaprio pre-puberty look.

[snow white]

well...i talked to my internet on aim last night and it was ok. looks like it's not going anywhere. he said he was "recently single" and from what i could tell seemed pretty hung up on his marriage still...

back to square one.

i like guys with really short hair and facial hair. not outta control, but like, a little "soul patch". i like tattoos too. my mom makes fun of the type of guy i like.

[candycane_girl]

That list is very thorough, samiam! Hair is a big issue for me. I don't know why but it is, and I can't really stand the idea of being with a bald guy. I also haaaate facial hair! I've now had two guys with full on beards and mustaches and it drove me crazy.

As for my hunt, I've been talking to this guy from OK Cupid. He seems pretty cool and I think we have a lot in common so I'll just see where it goes.

[kittenb]

I want a man with good hair. His good hair could be a lack of hair, but every time I look at him I should not be thinking, "I wish he did not wear his hair that way."

Oh my gosh did that make me laugh.

I like your list. It's funny that you post it today. Just last night I was getting ready for sleep and I said, "Goddess, we've been through this before. You know what I want. I've made the list. Now please send him to me." This morning I gor my first hit off of my "Sweet On Geeks" profile. I thought the timing of that, plus the timing of you post was interesting.

In the past week I have met two interesting guys. Both went nowhere (I swear that the one from Sat. night ditched me b/c I am not a smoker) but it was nice to find two crush-worthy guys in a week. It's been a while.

[knorl05]

samiam: that's the way to do it... ask and ye shall receive.
after knowing what you want, you are more able to recognize it when it becomes available instead of just going through the motions with any shmo wanting your attention.

[greenbean]

Thats sweet, Sam. I'm a sucker for broad sholders too..altho my new crush is very narrow.

I read this today: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?...3/LV9LS7VVP.DTL
and having lived in San Francisco for eight years, many of those years as a single, I laughed at the headline. I absolutely agree with the article,:SF (as are a lot of major cities) is a great place to live if you want to STAY single. I think the study should have clarified.

[samiam]

Ok, here is what I want.

After years of dating, hours of thinking, and way too much time on the phone and on dates that are going nowhere, I am sending something positive into the world.

I want a man with good hair. His good hair could be a lack of hair, but every time I look at him I should not be thinking, "I wish he did not wear his hair that way."

I want a man who can fix things. Not call someone to fix things, although a man who has the money to do that is also attractive, but a man who knows his way around a power tool is really hot.

I want a man who is intelligent. He needs to know things. He needs to be capable of a logical argument. He needs to love my intelligence as much as I respect his.

I want a man with broad shoulders. Sorry, it matters. Slight guys are ok, but a set of broad shoulders, with smooth biceps... hmmm.

I want a man with a good job. Sorry that this matters, too. He needs to know how to make and manage money. He needs to have minimal debt and a reasonable plan for the future. I want a man who knows how to save and how to spend, who will support his family and be willing to sacrifice when that is in order.

I want a man who believes that people should have control over their own bodies, and that love is love is love.

I want a man who loves my dog.

I want a man who loves my mother's cooking.

I want a man who will fit in on the beach with my crazy hippy family.

I want a man who is willing to wait out the next year or two in Reno and then move with me somewhere more appropriate.

I want a man who makes me cum. This is, unfortunately, important as well. He really needs to turn me on or all the other stuff becomes moot.

What else? Well, he needs to be faithful, adventurous, athletic, funny, know more than me about music, passionate, clever, witty, a good driver, a willing participant, and... and... mine.

[snow white]

xexyz, that definatly is the scary part. but exciting too

candy, how is school going? did you go to that mixers thing?

[candycane_girl]

Yeah, so I totally spoke too soon. I responded to his ad. Then he responded to me. Then I responded back to him. The end. I really don't get it because he made it sound like we had a lot in common (like I noticed some of the hidden references in his ad) and then he just disappeared.

I also joined Ok Cupid and so far that's just a bust. The people I send messages don't respond back and the people who message me are mostly gross older men that don't interest me. I give up.

[xexyz]

Well, the kind-of flirting has continued, I guess. I get nervous because what if it leads to something? That's kinda scary.

[snow white]

it is nice to remember that I actually can be attracted to someone. God it has been awhile. At this point, I would almost kill for a really nice crush-worthy person in my life.

i just started e-mailling a guy online too. i hope he's not totally weird, but even just e-mailling someone gives me something to think about, you know?

he told me he's 'newly single' b/c he divorced his ex for cheating on him. i've already dated someone who was hung up on an ex and i don't want to do it again. for now though i'm seeing how it goes. at the very least we can just be friends.

i'm really sick of being on my own.

i'm glad you found someone on-line, candy. i hope both of ours work out

[kittenb]

I hope that everything will go well for you everyone needs a special person in his life. I'm happy that I've found it. He's a great person.

Well, thanks partystar. And now I have a new site to go to for all my asian gay porn needs.

ANYway, I decided (or remembered) last night that the all time best thing about being single is food. Sometimes I like to eat weird, like chix breasts deli meat rolled up with peperroni and cheese. Then I threw some spinach on the plate and spritzed a weird ceaser dressing on it. It was weird and messey but was perfect for me.