[Owl_Gang_Girl]

I'm 19 years old and every day at some point I get the crushing feeling that I might never feel love again. Evreyone seems to find it so easy to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend whom they fall instantly and crazily in love with. Everyone seems to have someone, even if it's just a sex buddy. I had one of those and he treated me like dirt and made me feel even worse. I feel like i'm the bottom step that guys use to boost thier confidence before treading all over mine and dumping me for someone prettier, thinner, more interesting. I feel unattractive and angry and I just want to scream and cry and stamp my feet but then that would mean that they'd won and even though they have because they've all but destroyed my self confidence. I can never let it show because it makes me the "weak woman".
Ok that feels WAY better.
Xxx.

[hcbeck]

I'm at the scary stage when I feel frustrated and lonely, but don't want to give up the little conveniences of being single. I find my standards seem to be getting higher and higher. When I go into town, there are thousands on the street and on the tube, yet I hardly see anyone I'm attracted to. I know that's superficial, but that's where the spark starts...
Are my standards getting tougher because I've come to like having all this control over my time (if not my life)?

[whino]

Thepointybird, I hear you loud and clear. I've always been in relationships, however bad, or I've had a couple people that were easy and non-issue hook-ups. Now, I'm actually on my own with no relationship possibilities on the horizon. I am so incredibly lonely, I just don't know what to do with myself.
It pisses me off. I'm supposed to be the type of person who makes the best of the situation, forges ahead, and relishes the time to myself. But I feel like i'm half of a couple. I sleep on "my" side of the bed, I buy food that I don't eat, I talk too much to my cat, I rip out recipes to cook when I'm dating someone again. I've put my life on hold, and there's no one out there.

[thepointybird]

Unfortunately, I don't even have the luxury of having friends that I might be able to hook up with. Pretty much all of my male friends are spoken for. I sometimes feel like I'm just not going to meet anyone I can hook up with ever again. I rarely even see hot boys, let alone actually meet them. I tried doing the internet dating thing but gave up after a while cos I was just getting too many mixed messages from all these boys. That or they were only interested in getting their leg over, and I never saw them again! It's weird, I sometimes hate myself a little bit for thinking it, but I'm just really lonely. I have a life, I have lots of friends, I'm busy, but I just really want someone to come home to, someone I can just hug and tell them about my day. Apologies for being so maudlin, it's just been on my mind a lot lately!

[anna k]

I meant that the mention of a husband or a boyfriend with lots of women profiled as artists or writers or whatever can make the men sound like a trophy or an addition to their greatness. I meant it more along these quotes:

Meanwhile, while I wasn't paying attention, it seems that everyone in the whole world managed to pair off.

They're also fond of saying inane things like "it will happen when you least expect it". Oh yeah? The same people who say this have been single for about 6 weeks since the age of 18.

Your quote:

i have tons of guy friends, most who are interested in me, but in whom i have no interest aside from maybe a hookup here and there

Me too. I have guy friends who I hang out with, and who I could hook up with, but I wouldn't feel much from it and it will only serve to feed my ego of being sexy and beautiful. When I have little sexual interest in someone, it often feels boring and uninteresting rather than hott or creative.

[katiebelle2882]

anna, i am failing to see how writers designers etc have anything to do with pointybirds problem? or were you just elaborating.

and wait are they the trophys or are their men the trophy's for them. cause that would be a really interesting turn around fo sho! almost nice to see.


all that being said, i have been single now for about a year after breaking up with my BF of 4 years. i was bored, i dated him all thru college, and i just needed to mooove on. now, i feel like i am ready to have a boyfriend, but i dont even know where to go about meeting one. i mean, part of me still loves my ex, and that maybe i needed a break, cause now we get along so well. however, there is always the boy who basically made me realize i needed to break up with him, and hes my best friend who i totally fell for.

he of course, is completely emotionally unavailable but its like he always keeps me hanging on thinking that maybe, one day.

i am just being stupid. perhaps i need to branch out more completely. i just dont know how! i have tons of guy friends, most who are interested in me, but in whom i have no interest aside from maybe a hookup here and there.

i feel like the only person i really really want more than anything else in this world is the one person who i can never have. unforunately, this is an entirely new feeling for me, so i dont really know what to do with it.


anyway, enough about me, i just think its about that time where i enter the frustrated singles busties thread.

although, i should come out and say that i love being single, and i wouldnt mind just meeting guys to date, not necessarily a steady, one on one relationship. i would be happy with having a ton of dudes to go out with who i was romanticaly interested in, outside of my guy friends who very often, i am only marginally attracted to.

[anna k]

I hear you, thepointybird. I often read about women who are writers or designers or artists, and they usually have a boyfriend or a husband. It's almost like a trophy sometimes.

I don't even know how to deal with a guy in a romantic bf/gf relationship. I'm used to being on my own or seeing guys as casual friends or hookups, never a one-on-one relationship.

[thepointybird]

Ok, I am just really REALLY sick of being single. It wasn't too bad when I was still in my 20s and it seemed like there was a limitless supply of men out there, but these days..... Most of my friends are married or about to be. I live in London, where exactly ONE of my friends is single - she's unemployed and always poorly, so is never up for going out. Meanwhile, while I wasn't paying attention, it seems that everyone in the whole world managed to pair off. Boys I know through friends used to spend all their time in strip clubs; now all they do is bang on about how great their girlfriends are. My annoying attached friends tell me that I "set my sights too high". I'm sorry. I don't expect to hook up with a boy who looks like Wentworth Miller (although I wouldn't say no!), but I do at least need to find him attractive. They're also fond of saying inane things like "it will happen when you least expect it". Oh yeah? The same people who say this have been single for about 6 weeks since the age of 18. You could forgive me for not taking their advice! It's really frustrating, I feel like I have so much to give, but apparently nobody in this world wants to take it. Bah.

[emtee]

I'm going to x-post this in a few threads, sorry for the annoyance!

Has anyone tried speed dating? Or, specifically, the speed dating service offered by fastlife.com (or in canada, fastlife.ca)?

I got and email about it that appeared spammy at first, but was then intruiging and seems legit. I'm having a bit of a single's pity party over here, and when i'm not at work, I'll post at length about it!

[bella coola]

Hey clover, I'm a fan of internet dating myself. It's hit-and-miss like anything else, but at least you get *somewhat* of a feel for what they're like before you even have to talk to them. Seems like nobody can truly disguise themselves, even online.

I met a nice hunk of manliness last night, hoo! Don't know how good we would be together but I don't mind having to look at the guy.

[anna k]

Oh yeah. I've been hanging out with this guy who has a girlfriend who is in California, and they do the open relationship thing. I don't ask too much about it, I just enjoy his company.

[cloverbee]

so where is the best place to meet men? do you really have to know someone who knows someone?

[glassk]

no freaking kidding... "open relationships" my ass......

[caroline_no]

I'd like Joey Ramone in my shower, too, ha ha! I keep meeting guys who are in "open relationships" and I just can't deal w/ that! My ex wants me back, he says, AND he has a live in girlfriend! WTF? Is the world changing that much? Does monogamy not exist anymore? Think I'll stay on my own..

[bella_coola]

O ya glassk! o ya o ya. There's a couple couples that seem to have a constant battle to keep it together, it's like they can't for the life (of their relationship) find a common ground. It's really hard, there is definetly another side to it. There's good and bad about both situations, right? Personally I have learned SO much about myself, and grown so much in singlehood. Now I just want to share it with someone worthy! On the other hand, it seems like these troubled couples don't understand/love themselves enough, how can they expect to understand/love each other!! Like cloverbee says, maybe they're too eager to be paired to do the groundwork to prepare for it. Look at this, I got all the answers.. hah! Just ideas. For as many of us fantastic single chicas, there's got to be at least a few cool fellas

[auralpoison]

Dude. I so wish Joey Ramone was in my shower like in RRHS. I wanted to *be* PJ Soles.

[stargazer75]

i agree cloverbee. it seems like everyone is a couple. but, i think it is just cuz i want to be in a relationship so that is all i'm allowing myself to see. it does get tough. especially when i'm around my friends with their great husbands. i feel myself saying, 'i want a great guy too.' oh well. it will happen.

i keep playing the ramones "i wanna be your boyfriend." great song. helps with the frustration.

[cloverbee]

it's just, like, "oh, there's another one I can't have". ya know? does everyfuckingbody have to be attached nowdays? whatever happened to casually dating several people including me???
I feel that people are too eager to settle down w/ eachother out of fear of being a frustrated single I guess. or maybe I am just angry and projecting my non-committal attitudes on others. I freaking hate not having a date for Friday night. I do not hate not having a bf however.

[glassk]

well, yeah, bella coola; but do you know any couples who are going through some rough spots right now? I always try to think of those ones whose *couplehood novelty* has worn off when i get jealous.

[bella_coola]

Hey cloverbee, I totally hear you. I try to be all positive and think 'oh that's so nice, good for them'. But it always turns in to that unnerving angry laughter.. HA HA