[jezabelle]

Oh I'm so here! My man is 38, I've been with him for 5 years and we now have two kids. Since I've known him he's been talking about getting a job, I'm talking 5 years! I have now have 4 kids (5 if you include him), and I'm at home on disability as I have Lupus and Fibromyalgia. The topper is he does nothing to help me out around the house, not with the kids the housework nothing! I tell him to leave about once a month, but he won't go! Why can't he just be a man, get and job and provide for his family?!!

[pinkmartyr]

i'm 27 and my boyfriend is 25. i have a bachelor's degree and have been teaching for five years. he has little to no college and works as a kitchen supervisor at a restaurant for $9/hr. we got engaged in december. i am making enough money to pay down my credit card debt and work on student loans in addition to paying regular bills- i'm doing well and plan really carefully. since i bring home at least twice as much money as the does, we split the bills (we rent) 60/40, which satisfies me. he is fine on day to day stuff. he always pays his bills on time. its the long term stuff that he falls behind on. for example, the starter broke on his car, and he couldn't pay for it. i paid $350 for that, and he pays me back roughly $100/month. last week, the clutch on his car went out, which cost $165 in towing. he only needed help with $30 of that, and is paying me back on Tuesday. his car is old, and its not in the cards for him to get a new one right now. he has terrible credit- for example, he applied for car financing and the interest rate offered to him was 28.99%. we're engaged, and i will be paying for the bulk of our wedding expenses because i've made a savings plan for it. he knows that he's broke, and that he can't afford the long term things he needs for himself. he's talked about becoming an electrician- there is a shipyard school around here that offers a program where at the end, you have earned an associates degree, and you start at 11/hr with raises every three months. still, the only jobs he's actually submitted applications for are kitchen jobs. i'm at my wits end because i'm trying to tell him that we need to do what we can now to set a good foundation for our future. he says he wants to do that, that he agrees, i just don't see him trying very hard. its like he lacks the drive to do it. we have a wonderful relationship in every other way. i feel sometimes, though, that i have to be responsible for both of us. if things continue the way they're going, when we have kids, its going to be more economical for him to stay home with them, which annoys me because i've dreamed of staying home with my children when they're small. i'm tired of being the planner, the organizer, of bringing home the bacon, so to speak. he knows he needs to do something better. he just won't. what can i do?