[moxiegirl]

I have a not-totally-rational thing about having my own space and time to myself, but sometimes too much day to day intimacy with those you love, *especially* with those you love, can be a bad, crazy-making thing.

And doodle, this is *exactly* why I don't want children!

Syb--daycare is the best thing i've ever invested money in. Should I rush straight from work to daycare? Probably. Do I? Nope. Go home, change, get dinner laid out, then head over to pick up the wee one.

[freckleface2727]

gah.

I threw the tv remote at frecklette this morning, after she told me to shut up. ( major NO in our home)
gah gah gah. I'm so ashamed.

mother of the year material I'm not.
frecklette's gonna feel the same way about me when she's more grown if I'm not careful.

was not the best morning for either of us but she left for school on loving terms again.

= hangs head=

[sybarite]

I am lucky in that my family relations are pretty good, despite a divorce and 2 remarriages. Saying that, when on holiday with them I completely need my own space. My mom's all about sharing hotel rooms to save money, whereas I'll happily pay extra to get some space on my own at the start and end of each day, and to avoid the inevitable bathroom battles.

I have a not-totally-rational thing about having my own space and time to myself, but sometimes too much day to day intimacy with those you love, *especially* with those you love, can be a bad, crazy-making thing.

And doodle, this is *exactly* why I don't want children!

[battygurl]

Ah, family. I feel like I should feel guilty that I don't miss my parents at all, when I know they miss me, but I just can't bring myself to. I also need my space, and when I'm with them for too long I end up hating the person I become. I am not a healthy person when I am living with my parents.

[doodlebug]

(free_spirit....I replied to your PM with a note that said I couldn't send a pic unless you sent me an e-mail addie, 'cause I can't attach pics to PMs...or something...anyway, the attachment won't work till you send me an e-mail addie. 'K!)

I do need a lot of space and alone time. After BFF kidnapped mom, I took a long drive, and then when I came home, she was napping, so I snuck off to my room and got a couple extra hours!

I can't imagine what kind of parent I would have been. Neglectful at BEST. Thank goddess I made the right decision.

[pepper]

love my mom, can't be in the same room for more than 15 minutes though. she drives me that crazy. i have to literally bite my tongue sometimes, until i taste blood even, to keep from being an evil bitch to her. and even then sometimes i'm wicked anyhow. it's bad.

[free_spirit]

Hey Doodle,
I thought I was the only person who can't take being around my Mom, or any other immediate family for a long time (I consider a day a long time)...I thought I was off in that way...Like I feel that I don't appreciate them because I never really want to be around them, and I think it means that I am a bad daughter/sister... They never really say or do anything to me that would make me feel that way, I just feel weird like, I don't want to be around them...My mom esp. sometimes I think I dread talking to her and when I see her name come up on the caller id my heart always skips a beat, and when I go to her house Iits like I'm always looking to see if her car is there, and if its not I always feel relieved...Then I do whatever I went over to do and try to hurry and leave before she gets back...I wonder why this is....
Man its really going to suck because I am moving home for a few weeks (better only be a few) before I head out and move to Georgia...
Thanks for letting me know that it is normal to want constant alone time!!!
(Ps. I still never received the picture of you...)

[mouni4]

Hi Doodle,
don't know you at all, but I always enjoy reading your posts -
try to send some ((((((Mom-Leaving-Vibes)))))).
Hope they help - U rock!!!!!

[doodlebug]

Thanks wombat and tallgirl. Normally mom and I get along, but I suspect that's 'cause we live 350 kms apart, and now I remember why I won't go back to Vancouver to live. (Aside from the exorbitant cost of living in a "world class" city.) Though my mom's not so much controlling as smothering....

(((((((((((((((((((((((((tallgirl))))))))))))))))))))))))) Girl, I've got nothing on your pain....I can't even imagine, but I feel deep sympathy. If you want to come to Canada for an escape visit, you can stay here and I will totally leave you alone in whatever silence you need. I really mean that, about visiting!

(((((wombat))))) Yeah, I felt a bit of relief when my father died, because he was senile and getting worse, and never took proper care of himself. And I felt guilty for being relieved (although I also felt deep grief), and I also felt guilty for freaking out when it was his time, which I did (freaked) because I'd never seen a person die before. (That is a confession, so I'll leave it in this thread.)

Now, this is why I love my best friend so much: she has my mom kidnapped at the moment. They'll be back in a half hour or less, but I've had the last hour to myself to enjoy being alone, alone, alone! Hurrah! When she gets back, I'm going up to Home Despot to replace the plant pot, and maybe after I'll take a long drive.

I wish my best friend were gay so we could just get married and build home stuff together and grow a big garden. I'm not attracted to her that way, but I'm pretty sure I could work up an attraction if I thought it would end the search for a true friendship-type partnership. (Also a confession.)

I should be reporting this all in the family dysfunction thread. Except we're not normally dysfunctional! Just when there's too much togetherness. I don't know what's wrong with me that I don't like to be around anyone in my family for very long. (That's also actually a confession.)

[wombat]

arrghh! my mother was the same way.
Controlling, invading, judging, silly.

Basically a nice lady, but smoking more than eating, body pains which are probably a result of depression, smoking, not eating, eating crap, not exercising --

Then I would feel guilty for getting mad -- but I could not live in that house. I could not be a healthy, happy human being with something HANGING OVER ME like that.

When she died, I almost felt relieved. Then, really guilty about THAT.

and when people talk, a bit smugly, about how they sacrificed for their own business, or schooling, or a shiny computer or car or what have you, by living at home for awhile -- I'm envious -- like, you could live at home without having a sickening influence on your body and mind that won't go away, that is easily hurt, that can't even just LET YOU BE -- no self, no privacy whatsoever? They let you come and go and didn't fuss and worry and buy crap food and never want to have anyone over and never want to go anywhere?

... without the sounds of screaming, yelling, crying, and bad music from stupid television permeating every square inch while trying to draw, write or read?

[tallgirl]

((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Doodlebug)))))))))))))))))))))))))))
)))))))))))))))))))

That may be an extreme hug, but I'm really feeling your pain right now. My mother's been here only 10 days, and it's hard for me to face how much longer it'll be before she gets a place of her own, since it'll be another few months at least. Hang strong, lady.

[doodlebug]

I love my mom, but I don't know what I was thinking, inviting her to stay with me for "a week or so" after I visited her for a week. My apartment, and especially my kitchen, is all out of order after less than 36 hours, and it's making me twitchy - especially the kitchen, because she never cooks and hardly eats. She is constantly "chatty" in an inane way, even when I'm trying to work or think. She talks about her bowel movement issues. She describes some people as gossipy, shallow, and/or narrow-minded, but then describes other people/their lives in a gossipy, shallow, and/or narrow-minded way. She said she was going to paint while here, but she keeps trying to "help" with or watch me do things I prefer to do myself, alone - and this is something that annoys the fuck out of her when other people do it to her! I never turn the TV on, but she wants to watch hours of it every night - every trip, she starts out asking if she can flip on the news, and by the end of her visit, the TV is on from the time Oprah starts till mom falls asleep at night. My apartment reeks of cigarette smoke because she smokes on the balcony with the patio door open - when she sits out there reading, she practically chain smokes. She just knocked over my philodendron and broke its expensive glazed cache pot because she doesn't know how to work the flip sofa but didn't ask for help. She is cranky and moody when she is tired, which is a lot of the time; she says it's because of the kidney disease, but I secretly think it's because she barely eats anything at all.

I am terribly, terribly vexed.

I am reverting to a pissy, self-centred, distant, patronizing, adolescent version of myself.

I fear my mom's old age, and also resent it because we already did the role-reversal thing during her pre-sobriety years.

I really need some space.

I hate myself for my lack of patience and empathy.

I don't think I'll ever be able to live with another person again.

If I didn't have the Lounge as a haven to articulate these things, I think I'd die.

Did I mention that I really, really, really need some space?

[xexyz]

Is it bad that every time I read or watch a story about someone using an ingenious scheme to rip off vegas casinos I invariably root for that person?

[sassygrrl]

Lilac, I was feeling the same thing at work today.

[lilacwine13]

Is it really bad that I'm wishing I was drunk right now?

Especially since I'm at work?

[crazyoldcatlady]

okay okay, enough strife. i'm too drunk to say anything other than let's get back to the confessions:

-i'm drunk on a weekday, and posting on Bust while half-heartedly listenting to my sister yap on the phone about her fetus.

-i'm drunk on a weekday!!! and i'm thinking i should do this daily and that's bad.

(off to the inebriated ramblings thread.)

[sunshine]

I wish that somehow I can find the money to make it to my cousin's wedding in Nashville. Is it more for Nashville and the music scene or the wedding?

I'll be back if I need to confess the answer...

[falljackets]

i'm just getting home, so i hadn't seen any of this since my own post until now.

you're right, it's a bad thought. i do realize that. which is why i put it in the confessions thread.

you're also right that mrfj's post was uncalled for and snarky. i wish he hadn't posted it. i know he meant for it to break the ice and show that i obviously meant no harm in it, nor was i meaning to be insensitive. it was the last thing on my mind.

i'm sorry that amilita, other BUSTies and other human beings are hurting and hate to think that i would have helped cause more pain to readers by my comment. but again, it's the confessional. it was put here and only here because i KNOW it is a terrible thing to wish for.

[bunnyb]

(((amilita))), I was thinking of you when I posted.

[amilita]

Huh, I understand wanting the world to sort of stop and wanting to hole up with your loved ones and all that...but wishing for a hurricane does kind of make me want to puke. Confirms my feelings that most people in this country have no clue what it's been like for us. It's been a really hard day. I'm gonna stop myself before I say too much because I know that FJ didn't mean anything bad. I know what you meant. But to read your post was a bit like a kick in the gut. And then Mr. FJs has to bring the extra snark. Lovely.

Thanks, bunnyb. Thanks, freckle.