[runningwestward]

This is related to my sin confession: I can't stand my mom's mom. I can last about 2 hours around her and then I have to leave. I make excuses about not being able to visit which leads to guilt trips from my mother which makes me resent her too.

If I could be doing anything at any given moment I would run or ride or swim or gym. I think I'm addicted to exercise so I race to hide my addiction as training.

I've posed naked for my neighbour. He had a girlfriend at the time. They aren't together anymore. I wonder if I had something to do with it. But I am secretly happy because I want him for myself.

It took a lot to hit the post button on this one.

[culturehandy]

I agree with the losing wieght thing! My only fear is that i love my breasts and I don't want them to go the way of the dodo.

[damona]

good point mando. but even knowing that...

i want to quit smoking, but everytime i'm around people who smoke i light up. yet i never smoke when i'm alone.

i love my kids to death but breathe a sigh of relief when they go to the sitter.

i really should get my GED but i'm too scared to walk in to a room full of people i don't know. and i know i don't have the discipline to study and get it at home.

and, last but not least, i desperately wish i could lose about 40 pounds. mostly b/c then my old clothes will fit again and i won't have to buy new ones, but also a little bit so that people will tell me how good i look.

[mandolyn]

i just realized something. due to reasons i don't understand having to do with this outdated messageboard software, these archives could very well never be completely deleted and could come back to haunt us. which will probably prevent me from ever saying what i really want to say.

don't mean to rain on anyone's parade, because obviously i too am all about the catharsis. just thought i'd throw it out there as a precaution.

[lucizoe]

I want all the BUSTies who miss their drugs to come over to my apartment for a party

I too think if I lost 20 lbs I'd be happy. I know I would be, because the exercise and diet I adopted last summer did just that and I felt incredible.

I feel like I suck and I'll never make any friends again.

(*pssst* voodoo_princess, mr.luci is a senior software engineer for a French-based company...he's one of those fucking lucky individuals who is supremely talented at a very in-demand profession, which also happens to be his hobby. bastard.)

confession: I'm jealous of my boyfriend's job security and earning power, despite my often-voiced belief that I'd rather have a job doing something I love for minor ducats. I wish my hobbies were lucrative.

[mornington]

I love the smell of cigrettes and want to smoke

I hate being alone but I don't like people enough to want to be around them

I am tired of being tired

I hate over-achieving students, even though I suspect I might be one, and I hate people who are more clever & better-motivated than myself. But I have no patience with people who can't keep up with my own thought processes.

I am scared by this thread. Because I know there're things I won't write, even on here.

[sybarite]

I'm pretty sure someone spiked my drink years ago when I ended up passed out for hours. I was drinking with a group of (mostly) men and I've never known for sure what happened when I was passed out. I woke up in a strange man's flat (not that unusual back then). He was quite nice to me but I got up and went home.

I didn't experience any pain or discomfort so put it to the back of my mind until yesterday, and never told anyone. Possibly nothing happened but a tiny flashback suggests to me something may have.

[miss_jane]

I have never been stoned and right now its the one thing I can think of that I really want to do. I'm too embarrassed to ask anyone though because i think they all assume I don't want to smoke.

Psst. Culturehandy, i love anal sex too. And I don't care who knows.

[culturehandy]

I lied in court to beat a traffic ticket.

I love being stoned, and plan on growing my own bud.

I want to have dirty raunchy sex with a cop.

I love threesomes.

I have also peed in the shower.

I feel bad about killing bugs, and when I find them in the house, especially spiders, I insist on putting them back outside.

I love anal sex and watching anal porn. That took something to get off my chest.

[freckleface2727]

mando- ditto, about the 20 lbs. and probably about the cocaine too except for me it's pot, which I've only smoked twice but would LOVE to do it again, and again & so on & so on.

I'm scared that at 35, I Am what I'm going to be in my life, which is pretty much a stay at home wife & mom, something I've always looked Down on, but I am also maybe more scared to start school bc then the whole world will find out how stupid I really am bc I have no study habits and never remember anything.
how much Energy I've spent in dodging not going to a real school!

yes, scary but good thread.

[voodoo_princess]

ooopppssss..... hit the button twice......

[voodoo_princess]

lucizoe - I stay home too right now and also feel a little funky about it, but not so much that I want to rush out and get another job. The Mr. was really cool about me staying home cause I was a stressball at my last job, but I want to have my own money and such too...... (BTW - not to be rude or anything but what does your Mr. do for work? My Mr. and I have always wondered what type of work people in the city do to afford the cost of living..... we would love to move)

Confession : My Mr. is kind enough to work all day long, every day of the week and pay for everything so I can stay home right now and when he gets home he is sooo tired and I get pissed at him for not having the energy to goof off with me and play around and love on me even though he has been working all day and I have been doing NOTHING. I know that's really ungrateful and selfish.........
I also wish sometimes that my Mr. was a Mrs. and I tell him (kind of) and I think it hurts his feeling......
I should probably learn to keep my mouth shut.....

[mandolyn]

i'm convinced that if i just lost 20 lbs, my life would dramatically improve and i'd be happier. let me rephrase that. i'd be happy. period.

i love cocaine. pretty much gave it up. miss it sorely. dream about it. love it. there. i said it.

and whereas i've drunkenly peed holding onto the back of a limo for support, i could never pee in the shower.

ok. yeah. this is a friggin scary thread alright.

[sixelacat]

I am intellectually intimidated by my (roughly the same age) cousin who has just received his PhD while I haven't had the attention span to stick with a career. He moved to my town 5 1/2 years ago and I have never been to his house, and now he is moving several hundred miles away.

_{I also pee in the shower but will never felt guilty about it}

[lucizoe]

I *almost* peed myself when we were moving. We couldn't find a bathroom and we were stuck in Hoboken and then Manhattan traffic and when we finally parked outside our building I had wedged my sweater under me (I was wearing a skirt) and was all set to just let go and pee.

Best part was, Mr.Luci was in the same predicament. I made him promise me that we would never become that couple that pees in front of each other, but we made an exception that day. I got the toilet and he peed in the sink. Ah, bliss.

lilacwhine, I do the magazine thing too. I also stand in front of the magazine racks and loudly berate Cosmo and Self and Allure and all that shit, hoping that someone will be offended.

My boyfriend makes over 100K a year and wants me to find a job I actually want to do, instead of just taking whatever so I don't feel like too much of a leech. I know I'm supposed to always have my own money and income and I'm pretty much just betraying women in general. But I like not having to go to work.

[gardnerella]

tallgirl, I am so there right now.


I stayed up last night thinking about this thread and what other sorts of things I would say. I think I'll do a purge a day. It feels good... sort of.


I used to hit my mother when I was in high school and middle school. I never punched her lights out or anything, she was good at dodging my wrath and protecting herself with her arms. Once I threw a wrench at her and it hit her head near her earlobe. She was at the top of the stairs and if it had hit her harder and knocked her out she could have fallen down the stairs. I also hit her over the head once with a remote control when she was laying in bed.

[miss_jane]

Speaking of urination, when I was 16 I wet my bed. I told everyone including myself that it was ejeculation because I'd had a sexy dream. Really I've never even had an orgasm while awake.

Wow, this thread is good for the purging! I'm tired now!

[bunnyb]

I must confess ... I have never peed in the shower! not that i'm judging any of you for doing so!

However, I did pee myself once after a lot of red wine and the bus taking too long on journey home (I was walking from bus stop and was approx. 2 min away from home but could not hold it in any longer.)

I'm too scared to post any more confessions just now.

[llamas]

Pretty much every time I go to walmart, I 'accidentally' leave a lipstick or something in the bottom of the cart. It makes me feel better about shopping there.

[alligator]

I pee in other people's showers.

Ya know, this shower urination thing is so widespread that perhaps it doesn't qualify for 'confession?' Just wondering.