[kaylafresh]

AP,
I'm so sorry for your loss. And I am so with you on the stupid things people say when a loved one dies. Good for you for holding your ground. When my 27 year old cousin passed away, my great aun and uncle didn't come to the funeral. They had an "engagement" they just couldn't call off in NYC. REALLY???? It's amazing how clearly you can see people after something like this happens - and by the same token, how amazingly incredible friends can be.

[sybarite]

Oh (((((AP))))) I am so sorry for your loss and for how you must be feeling. Grieving rarely feels straightforward in my experience. I am also sorry you are, as mornington and yuefie said, having to field the selfishness of others.

Be good to yourself too through all this, and take care. ((AP))

[mornington]

(((((ap))))) I'm so sorry for your loss, and that you're having to deal with the asshattery of people. The ring idea is a lovely gesture. Big hugs your way.

[raisingirl]

(((((((((AP))))))))) I'm so, so sorry. I just don't know what to say.

That is such a nice gesture to do that with the ring for his daughters.



Geez, and I came in here to say that this is the second Xmas season in a row now that I've had another family member pass away.

[MsYuefie]

((((((AP))))))) *extra tight hugs*
So sorry to hear about your loss.

And then on top of it all, having to deal with such asshattery. Oy. People are selfish such idiots. ~~~~minimal drama, soothing and comfort vibes a plenty~~~~

[auralpoison]

Christ. The poor redneck is gutted. GUTTED. But. We sat & talked for a couple hours last night & I think I made him feel a little better. I started telling stories, he started telling stories & we laughed until we were too exhausted to do much more. He's really not a bad guy.

We started to discuss the practicalities. He doesn't want anything. Nothing. He bought my mom a very nice three rock ring that I told him to keep. He refused. I suggested he break it down & have one ring each made for his daughters, but I may just have to do that for them myself.

[auralpoison]

Thanks for the support, ya'll.

I'm sooooo lucky. I have so much support. It's weird though, because they all seem to think I'ma flip the hell out. I'm okay. I got the hysterics out already. Now I'm just trying to be practical.

Today a girl stopped by that I stopped being friends with in junior high & another girl I went to school with MySpaced me. It was nice.

That being said . . . ARGH! This is so frustrating! All of these "me me me" people have been getting in my grille! One guy was bitching about the selected date because the weather is bad & his wife doesn't want himm driving. Too bad, it's still Monday. Then my bitchy auntie (Who is a racist & wasn't kind to my mother in life.) got pissed because she'd driven eight hours to see my mom's corpse & we'd already had her cremated. I told her I'd *try* to see if we couldn't postpone the cremation, but due to logistics it didn't happen. Not to mention that she was here for Thanksgiving when mom was alive & didn't bother to stop by. And the kicker, the KICKER is that my dad's best friend started stirring up a twenty-year old beef with me on motherfucking MySpace. He could have called or stopped by instead of making a cyber statement about shit that he got on hearsay.

[pollystyrene]

((aural)) I'm sorry for your loss.

[LoveMyPugs]

(((((ap)))))

[erinjane]

(((((((((((AP)))))))))))
I'm so sorry. Lots of good vibes being sent your way.

[faerietails2]

((((((((((AP)))))))))))) I'm so sorry.

[bunnyb]

((((aural)))) big, tight, hugs your way, chica.

[falljackets]

(((ap)))

i am so very sorry.

[missladyj]

AP, you have my sincerest condolences.

[girlygirlgag]

(((((((((((((AP)))))))))))))

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[auralpoison]

Well, I pulled the plug on my mom today. It sucked. I never anticipated having to do that.

She had a massive heart attack during the night. We found her with no pulse, her lips were blue, & there was a trickle of dried blood next to her mouth. The EMTs brought her back, but she'd been dead so long that she wasn't coming back.

I don't know what I am to do. I haven't slept in more than twenty-four hours, but I am too keyed up to catch any shut-eye. At least I've cried myself out.

I feel so guilty. I've done nothing but bitch & moan on Bust about having to come home & do this, but I never really thought she'd die.

I guess all I can do is be glad that we had the last three weeks. It's the longest time we've gone without fighting like two cats in a sack. For that I am thankful.

[missladyj]

I just found out yesterday that a friend of mine died from cervical cancer. She was only 36. I am alternating between sadness, anger that she should didnt have to die. If only I had suggested she stop all the holisitic crap and just have a loop excesion to remove the damaged cells.

At least she is not suffering anymore and is at piece. The service is saturday. The sadness is just exhausting me.

[silverhalide]

I feel all of you gals. I lost my mother a little over a year ago and I miss her everyday. She died from a brain tumor and was sick for almost two years. I helped care for her. It was such a difficult disease. There are so many things that are just hard to erase from my memory that I saw her go through. I am only 27. I wish I had more people to talk to who have lost a parent, so if anyone ever feels like chatting about it drop me a buzz. Not only was losing her hard, but all the results of caregiving. My Dad couldn't really work, so he got thrown into all these money problems after she died. As if losing the person isn't enough. Things are so different without her, my mother was very close to me. She was like a best friend to me in a lot of ways.

[kaylafresh]

Phonechick,
You still had a life with this man, I can understand why your grieving. My cousin passed away two years ago and I had not seen him in a long time (he was a runaway). But I went through a terrible depression over it. I would see if you can go to Compassionate Friends or another support group. As far as leaving him that VM - you need to let yourself off the hook. You did nothing wrong, it's what the situation called for at the time.

[auralpoison]

Aw, Kes. ((((((((((Kes)))))))))) I also know what you're going through. Hang in there. This part is hard & it sucks, but you & your family will survive it. I'll be thinking of you & yours.