[kittenb]

The other day I was wearing a shirt that read, "Be nice to sex workers." One of my classmates said that of course I was wearing it as I am a sex worker. When I clarified that I was not a sex worker, rather I worked as a rape crisis counselor, she said, "Well, yes, that's sex!"

I was so offended.

So please be honest with me. Does it make me a hypocrite that I was offended to be considered a sex worker? Most of my shock and anger was at her gross misrepresentation of what it is I actually do. At least I hope it was. I have been working to address my internalized "whore-phobia" issues and I am worried that I am not as far along as I thought I was.

[vixen_within]

I've got books on the bean. A couple that I like are:

Brothel by Alexa Alpert

Rent Girl by Michelle Tea is alright

I'm in the middle of Strip City by Lily Burana and ISO The Edge of the Bed: How Dirty Pictures Changed My Life, by Lisa Palac - for this quote (and the good review it got in Bitch Magazine) "Some people's talk of prostitution is to righteously announce...that anybody who would pay for sex is a loser. Who were they kidding? We all pay for sex. Some of us just don't use cash."

Indecent: How I make it and fake it as a girl for hire, by Sarah Katherine Lewis is on deck.


Movies: Working Girls by Lizzie Borden - very real

Center of the World - everyone i talk to seems to have a different reaction to this. I liked it because I could relate to the situation and see where the conflicts between the women came from, and all the unspoken inner conflict of the main character. Some people think she just plays the "silent beautiful girl" though, and they have a point too.

[vixen_within]

*is jealous!*

[girltrouble]

oh yeah, i can vouch for aural's voice. i thought mine was good (she hasn't heard my moneymaking purr either), i would say it's like a very sexy vertigo inducing roll in hot buttered velvet. it's good. verrrrrry good. i've heard one that's better (only one, mind you), but as she said, i haven't heard her money maker. but i had to bust out one of my church fans to cool myself shortly after i heard it.

can you say girltrouble girlcrush?

[auralpoison]

I know what you're talking about, Roq, my day job was sex related, too! Eight hours of mouth breathers, cheapskates, drug addicts, twisted perverts, thieves, the mildly curious, & the odd, nice genuine person (Most legit customers bypassed the office completely.); then home to another four hours of the same online. Isn't it amazing how they try to get something for nothing on the PG13! I eventually dropped the 9-5 & just did the online thing (I also worked for a website that created custom erotica for people, somehow 95% of my clientele was gay, go figure. For a gal that's only topped a guy once I got mad props for being able to steam, ream, & cream the fellas.) & still did a bit of in-house phone(GT's heard my regular voice, but not the million dollar one). I don't do either anymore because I don't have to, but back then when I was crawling the walls, I found a place I could go to to sit, have a bite & meet some nice people or just read quietly. I took a lot of loooong walks, too.

And everybody knew about what I did, but nobody understood it. After a while I just stopped telling people & said I worked in computer services.

[girltrouble]

yay! i meant to ask how it went. sounds like good. have i told you how awesome you are, kitty? that's just cool.

[kittenb]

Thanks for your advice ladies. I couldn't do the training the way that I normally do my trainings because my job specifically revolves around sexual violence. While that is one aspect that I covered the sex-workers have been very clear that that is not the only thing that they wanted to talk about. I know that there are many people smarter than I who can teach harm-reduction and there are bunches of websites with good information. SO what I choose to talk about was actual Hotline work, how to come up with policies for certain problems that arise on Hotlines. We also talked a lot about active listening and client-centered support.

All in all, it was a good time. I've been going back and forth on how I can support this group and I feel like I really helped out yesterday.

[girltrouble]

i know what you mean too, roq. that was my main problem with sex work, and it doesn't matter if you're texting, domming or escorting. i've heard the same thing from other people in the industry.

but in a side note-- glad you love the lounge, we love it too!

[vixen_within]

i know exactly what you mean roquelaure (is your name from the beauty stories?) I'm not ready for full disclosure yet, but i get what you mean about the hermit lifestyle. i've never done chat or anything that's required me to stay at home, but i sometimes found sex work very isolating when i couldn't bring myself to bring my worlds together and tell my friends about it. i've only told very few people, and no one really knows the whole story, unless they're also a sex worker. i can only vent fully to other sex workers, because they know what i'm talking about and that there can be bad nights, and it can be really hard, without it being evil, bad for me, morally reprehensible, or whatever. i've gotten a lot out of sex work, and it's changed my life.

something i used to do after work, is go to the movies - all geeked up in my "work clothes" the make up, the hair ect. just to be in a place where there was no one to look at me, no demands, swallowed up in the dark and the big screen, and totally absorbed in a good story. this really helped me to unwind before going home.

[roquelaure]

oh holy smokes i only started posting last night and i am in absolute passionate love with this forum. from hairy pits and small boobs to dysfunctional families and long distance relationships... and now a place for those of us in the adult biz?? you guys made this whole place just for lil ol' me, didn't you?! anyway...

i have a f/t job in a non-profit museum, which means i make barely enough to break even at the end of the month. up until last week, i suplemented my income (or lack thereof) by working for a text-chat service. i haven't read anything mentioned here about it, i'm just wondering if anyone else has done it.

basically someone sends a text from their phone to a chatline, and you answer back on your computer. there were four different platforms, two were strictly PG-13, one was a mix of PG-13 and XXX, and one was straight XXX. it was so, so, SO much easier to chat on the XXX lines- just get in there, get it on, git er' done, and move on to another lonely schmoe who needs some attention. bada-bing bada-boom. but trying to keep a conversation going with people who just want to find a "girlfriend" or know damn well they aren't on an XXX line but try to get you to talk that way anyway? dear god it was EXCRUTIATING. after two and a half years of it, i had to take a breather because i realized i would get home from "real" work, and get immediately online to text, or get up in the morning on my days off and text for eight hours. i was socializing more with strangers than my friends or meeting people in real life. technically i'm on "hiatus", and will go back in a few months.

what a lot of people who are against sex work or think it is "bad" don't realize is the amount of psychology involved, the perceptive you must have to mold yourself to someone on the other end, and how much you learn about society and culture- NOT just sex culture. i've learned things i never fathomed existed, both good and bad. it was a more eye-opening experience than a college degree and 10 years in a "real" job have given me.

and to tie this to the current subject, what i personally really could have used was advice on how to balance out my working time and private time- not just physically organizing my time structure, but making sure i wasn't becoming a hermit and NOT going out to meet new people because i was burned out on "meeting people" at work. the last thing i wanted to do on a friday after working an 8 hour "real job", and then 4 hours of chatting up strangers that involved thinking about and creating personas that would match their needs, was to physically leave my apartment so go out and do it in the REAL world. i got really, really tired of people and some nights flat out MEAN because i was so burned out.

does that make any sense? not being facetious- i really don't know if it makes any sense to anyone but me, haha.

[vixen_within]

I was thinking the same thing as GirlTrouble, but Jan gives good examples of how the resources they offer should be tailored. The need for a sex worker specific hotline has more to do with the stigma sex workers deal with trying to get assistance in the places most people go to, than with super special problems specific to sex workers.

I'd change the 'obviously' around though. Most of the troubles I've wanted help with as a sex worker have been legal and labour related, not medical. Sex workers have a hard time finding help when they're victims of violence too. Both from the cops and from shelters, so some resources related to that would be of help. The place I volunteer at gets calls about housing as well.

eta: also safe child care and dealing with people who want to take your kids away because of what you do. more resources about that.

eta: the above resources for trans workers as well - particularly when dealing with gender oriented services & institutions (i.e. prisons, women's shelters)

[i_am_jan]

but I was wondering if there were any specifics that you would want to know if you were in their shoes.

Sounds like a great and worthy case kitten. I'm not certain I understand your question completely; however, off the top of my head, some things to have handy I would think would be names/no's. of good pro-sex criminal lawyers, public defenders, bail bondspeople, obviously medical resources.

[girltrouble]

what topics would you cover for non-sex workers?

eta:i meant this as an honest question, not sarcasm... sorry if it comes across wrong.

[kittenb]

Hey ladies, I need some advice from those in the know.

Tomorrow I am doing a training for women in a pro-sex work advocacy group. They want to learn crisis counseling skills for the hotline they operate.

What sor of topics do you think I should cover? I can think of some of the stuff that someone running a hotline for sex workers might encounter, but I was wondering if there were any specifics that you would want to know if you were in their shoes.

Thanks! Sorry for the last minute. I meant to post this yesterday.

[vixen_within]

I would ask for their web addy and do a search from there.
It's amazing what turns up in a google search.

I would also check industryblacklist to see if there are any complaints against them or if they complain a lot about their talent.

[girltrouble]

the rule of thumb i've heard as far as these things is concerned is, assume that everyone you know will see the pix. if you are cool with that, then go for it. when you have pics taken there will be a release that will have all of that info on it-- how it will be used, for how long, residuals, etc. you can ask him to send you a copy of it. ask if it is strictly photos, or video, and where they will be used, ask if he wants the option of reselling them, or letting others use them, and the conditions, what websites, etc. (do you want it to show up on some as some porn or dating site?) ask what acts if any you will be expected to perform, exactly what you are going to be showing, if anything (have him be specific. is he wanting penetration by objects/fingers or whatever).

whatever it is, make sure you are comfortable with what you are thinking about doing.

charge extra for video.

good luck!

[starpiste]

Thanks! I read back but nothing really hit on what I'm wondering about.

I guess long story short is while surfing CL for some part-time/temporary work I came across a call for erotic plus size models. There's not really any information other than size and age reqs, that a portfolio is available on request, and a pay rate of $50-75 an hour. oh, there was also an image - it was a non-nude close up that had a digital effect applied to it.

So I'm thinking of replying but I'm not sure what I should be asking. My main things would be how the pictures would be used, but can't people just lie? And stuff about the shoot itself, like location and if I could bring someone, and who else would be involved.

Maybe I've just been reading too much Susie Bright so this seems like a good idea.

[girltrouble]

*bumpy for starpiste*

we discus all areas of the adult/sex in here, and you might want to look thru old posts, since it's only two pages (i thought there was more ) and i'm suddenly missing our lovely spectacled kitty, sukouyant. wherever you are, s, come back to us!

[sukouyant]

It's the call for next year's sex worker's art show (they extended their deadline). I'm hoping to catch it this year and see what it's like.

xxxxx
Hi Friends!

This is the official call for submissions for the 2008 SWAS tour! Anyone who has worked in the sex industry is encouraged to apply: porn stars, strippers, escorts, dommes, webcam girls (and boys), hookers, etc. Spread this around, post it on your blog, tell everyone you know. And feel free to contact us with questions!



THE SHOW:

The Sex Workers' Art Show is a cabaret-style evening of visual and performance art created by people who work in the sex industry to dispel the myth that we are anything short of artists, innovators, and geniuses! The artwork and performances offer a wide range of perspectives on sex work. The show hopes through its diversity of viewpoints to move beyond "positive" and "negative" into a fuller articulation of the complicated ways sex workers experience our jobs and our lives. You can read more about the show at

www.sexworkersartshow.com.



WHAT WE'RE LOOKING FOR:


Sex trade workers are in a unique position to observe the freaky dynamics of capitalism, desire, ownership, gender, and race. We are looking for hilarious, disturbing, challenging, entertaining, accessible work that addresses these issues. Or, you know, whatever else. You don't have to be an experienced performer to apply! We're interested in a range of mediums- spoken word, burlesque, music, video and performance art of all kinds. It is important to us to include performers from all over the world: non-US residents are encouraged to apply!


THE DEAL:


The tour is happening late January through early March 2008. It hits approximately 30 cities nationwide, in a bit over a month. Venues will be varied, from small clubs and galleries to large theaters and college campuses. We'll be traveling in two new vans, staying in hotels. There will be eight performers, a technical director and road crew along. Pay is
$3500/performer, plus lodging, transportation (including flights), and some meals. Staff will be provided to sell performers' merchandise.



SUBMITTING:

People who are working or have worked in the sex industry are invited to submit any kind of visual or performance art. Pieces should be no more than 12 minutes long. DEADLINE HAS BEEN EXTENDED! Please email
info@sexworkersartshow.com for more information.

Thanks everyone! Please spread the word and forward this!

xxxxx

[crankyrobot]

!!