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> Taking Up The Whole Damn Bed!, In Praise of Singledom
epinephrine
post Nov 18 2009, 06:03 PM
Post #21


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 636
From: Chongqing, China


It's taken me a long time to feel up to writing this list. Let's see how far I get.

Since my breakup, I have been able to enjoy:

- Reading! I never read when I was attatched. I always wanted to spend my down time doing coupley stuff. Now I'm reading a book almost every week, finally starting to make a dent in that enormous "to read" list.

- Watching whatever artsy, boring, foreign, highbrow or lowbrow movie I damn well want. No more agonizing 45-minute trips to the video store, arguing and negotiating over every bloody movie. Making a dent in the "to watch" list, too.

- Wearing lipstick every day. Lipstick is a pain in the ass when you're getting kisses. If I can't have kisses, at least I can have sexy blood-red movie star lips.

- Not having to worry about all the problems that occur in my oversensitive girly bits when I'm having regular sex.

- Way less dishes and cleaning. She told me I was the messy one; how come I spend half as much time cleaning now?

- Decorating however I want! Cranberry bedroom! Bali Bamboo hallway! Plum Escape living room! Retro 1950's kitchen! Mirrors, candles, saris, pinups, and art nouveau! Yeeeah!

- Not having to listen to endless talk about the restaurant industry. Gave me nightmares, as well as a bloody headache.

...I know there's more, but that's all that comes to mind at the moment without digressing into bitter memories.

Yay!


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To be free one must give up a little part of oneself.
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vibrator
post Sep 26 2009, 05:24 PM
Post #22


BUSTie
**
Posts: 29


Sometimes being single can be great, but you hope at some point you can find someone special to share your life with, preferably someone that doesn't annoy you.


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rogue
post Sep 23 2009, 11:42 AM
Post #23


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 362
From: The Great White North.


This is going to sound ridiculous but probably the BEST thing about my newfound (not-so-newfound? It's been two months already!) singledom is that I can once again have lemon products in my house.

Not that Ex was alergic to lemons or anything, he just hated the smell/taste/etc of them so much that I wasn't allowed to buy anything with lemon in it. No lemon cleaners, no lemon tea, and no lemon pie. Nada.

So I've been going a little overboard since I love the scent and taste of lemons so much. Just a little something I really appreciate. =)


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Vixi liber et moriar.
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rogue
post Sep 19 2009, 01:03 PM
Post #24


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 362
From: The Great White North.


I find it relieving to hear that I'm not the only person who has stopped doing things that she loved because of an ex. I definitely stopped doing pretty much everything I liked to do but that's mostly because I really let Ex control me, which is something I never should have done. The good thing is - I have learned my lesson for the future!

My list of things I LOVE now that I am single include:

- Singing my favourite songs at the top of my lungs no whenever I want.
- Listening to the music I like without my headphones on (seriously, I was never allowed to do this).
- Actually "taking up the whole damn bed" - I sleep a lot better!
- The fact that I don't need to buy two packages of toilet paper a week - honestly, I have never seen someone go through toilet paper like he did. He would use 16 double rolls in a week! I've used only two in the past two weeks! So frustrating and such a waste.
- Eating when I want to without being bitched at to cook dinner.
- Doing what I want, when I want, how I want. Ultimate freedom.

It's weird but the only way I can describe this feeling is to compare it to being high. I feel sooooo good. This has definitely been the right choice.

Oh & mumblestutter - my ex is doing the same thing! He NEVER would do anything I liked to do - dance, go out to a bar with friends, anything like that - and now that's all he's doing and with really slutty girls, no less, posting all kinds of pics on his Facebook to make me feel bad. Little does he know - I honestly couldn't care less. They can have him.


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Vixi liber et moriar.
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AbleDanger
post Sep 17 2009, 11:16 PM
Post #25


BUSTie
**
Posts: 26


Congratulations on getting out there, it's glorious! I can't believe how much I stopped doing because of my ex. Actually, I can't believe how much I let go of my political beliefs. It's really depressing, though I've been having this brilliant flirtation with a very open, politically aware man and it's healing just remembering what it's like to be able to talk freely without fear that I am going to be judged because gosh darnit, I believe I have the right to decide what happens with my body!!! And I'm a feminist!!! Crazy! I have no idea how I could give up so much of myself but I've decided not to do it again.
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mumblestutter
post Sep 17 2009, 09:01 PM
Post #26


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 103
From: michigan


figuring out what i like again! that IS a good one. I'm trying to return to the things i like now.

my x had expressed disinterest & drew me away from many of the things i care about when we were together. then very activly took on many of the same interests when we split! i felt intimidated & spent a lot of time away from things for fear of running into him.

now, i'm feeling like i want to make things happen smile.gif. I'm ready to get out & do!
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AbleDanger
post Sep 16 2009, 09:56 PM
Post #27


BUSTie
**
Posts: 26


Newly single and loving it!

My list includes:

Sleeping in the middle of the bed
Going to bed whenever I want and NOT getting woken up in the middle of the night
Not having someone paw at me all the time
Having great 'best way to get over someone is to get under someone else' sex
Eating cookie dough for dinner
Listening to music of my choice
Figuring out what I like again because I let so much of it go

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rogue
post Sep 9 2009, 06:36 PM
Post #28


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 362
From: The Great White North.


I completely agree, squirrelgirl! I just moved into my own place this past weekend and all the art I have up is my own and exactly where I want it and it's awesome. I love your idea about the postcards; that is really cool. It's great to have a space that is inherently yours.

Singledom is definitely not all bad - I am loving it.


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Vixi liber et moriar.
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squirrelgirl88
post Sep 9 2009, 04:30 PM
Post #29


BUSTie
**
Posts: 26


One thing I love about singledom and living on my own: getting to decorate my apartment. I change things about once a month just because I can. I collect postcards from every place I visit so I have an entire wall devoted to them. My room is where I work, write and think so I love that it's all mine.
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rogue
post Sep 9 2009, 09:02 AM
Post #30


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 362
From: The Great White North.


period and futura, seriously all of the things that you noted that you can now enjoy being single again are all on my list! Especially the puddles on the bathroom floor! Seriously! I always hang my towel over the shower door (because the towel bar was too far from the shower) to make sure I can towel off before I get out of the shower to avoid leaving puddles all over the floor. Ex never did and I can't even tell you how many times I walked into our bathroom and went flying. So aggravating!

Also, last night when sleeping in my bed I realized that I was pretty much bent in half at the waist with my feet pressed against the wall because no one was there to prevent it and it felt amazing. I need to have bedspace! I love the name of this thread just because of that fact.

There really is something to be said about singledom, even though I completely understand the benefits of being in a relationship too. This is the first time I've been single in quite a while (I've pretty much had back-to-back relationships since 2005!) so I think it's going to be a loooong time before I co-habitate (or even date!) again.


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Vixi liber et moriar.
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futura
post Aug 27 2009, 02:34 PM
Post #31


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 208


Yay for Period!

When i moved i got a new decent bed and an awesome matress. One of my friends visited me earlier this week and she marvelled at the quality of my matress.
She also helped me move my furniture around, so now my apartment looks like a totally sleek bachelorette pad (she even came up with vintage stuff at a second hand store, which would cost big bucks on the internet). When i was still livinig with my ex he did all the redecorating and stuff. I just let him, but it feels good to take back the reign, even when it's about something as simple as moving some stuff into a different corner.


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"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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period_monster
post Aug 27 2009, 12:08 PM
Post #32


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 191


buying a new bed with no history. It will be delivered tomorrow morning, and I cannot wait to sleep diagonally Friday night!
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candycane_girl
post Aug 20 2009, 01:39 PM
Post #33


Hardcore BUSTie
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Posts: 2,336
From: Canada


omg, I looooove that episode of SATC! I think I'd be embarrassed to tweeze my eyebrows or um...use Nair for my face if cc_boy and I lived together. Also, I am a gassy person. I can't help it, any little thing sets me off.

And here here to watching The Hills! Thank cod I live alone.
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stargazer
post Aug 20 2009, 11:42 AM
Post #34


brown delicious
***
Posts: 2,938
From: here, there, everywhere


Yeah for people posting in here again!

Reading the lists makes me think of the SaTC episode where Carrie was afraid of moving in with, I think Aidan, 'cause she was afraid of losing her MSSB (My Secret Single Behavior). laugh.gif

I'm glad perido_monster and future that you are embracing your singledom!


--------------------
"I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car!"-Homer Simpson
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futura
post Aug 20 2009, 09:30 AM
Post #35


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 208


((Period)), this sounds good.

Cod, i hated the wet puddles my ex left al over the floor when coming out of the bathroom.

I got some too:
Phoning and texting gf's and sis right after a date right after the guy left.

-Eating the same thing for dinner 3 nights in a row if i feel like it.
-Working out extensively in my living room and no one acts all disturbed
-Going to bed early/ taking naps and not feeling guilty about it/ no one to bitch about it (my ex is a night person, i am a morning person. In the end, it was almost like we were living in shifts)
-Watching girly shows like The Hills, The City, Lipstick Jungle. Watching crap shows like The hills, The City, real life bullshit shows.
-Not drinking as much as i used to with the ex. He's so extreme and it was hard to set boundaries living with him
-Cleaning up after myself in the kitchen, it's as clean as i want it to be
-Re-discovering the things i like to do, however stupid, unnecessary or inane, without anyone judging me

My friends tell me i have changed for the better since i'm single. Yay for me!


--------------------
"It was when I found out I could make mistakes that I knew I was on to something"- Ornette Coleman
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anna k
post Aug 20 2009, 07:49 AM
Post #36


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 1,687
From: NYC


You sound like you're doing much better, period_monster, and really enjoying your singleness and being with your friends. I'm really happy that you're feeling so good. smile.gif
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period_monster
post Aug 20 2009, 06:44 AM
Post #37


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 191


In addition to taking up the whole damn bed, which I do really enjoy, here are a few other things my recently single self is loving:

*Using fabric softener again--e-man had terribly sensitive skin
*leaving my dirty clothes on the bathroom floor for a few hours if I feel like it
*eating whatever I want without judgment--okay so I'm not really eating much more than dry toast yet, but I know this one is coming
*going out with friends as much as I want without worrying about group dynamics, or ignoring anyone
*getting a new kitty without someone saying, "do you really have enough space for another cat?" --It's a 2 bedrrom apartment with one human, yes there has always been enough space
*being just as anal as I want to be in the bathroom--no one stepping out of the shower before drying off and therefore leaving huge puddles on the floor that went unnoticed by him
*Hanging with my girls and doing girly things
*My bestie showing up with ginger ale and flowers to cheer me up
*Super intense, first post-breakup masturbation session last night, came so hard again and again, letting my fantasies take over and he never showed up in the cast of characters

Gotta say, I am loving this.
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flanker_ji
post Mar 1 2009, 03:37 AM
Post #38


Hardcore BUSTie
***
Posts: 529
From: Santa Rosa, CA


After spending time with a couple of friends tonight, I came home so cheery, despite a lot of depressing talk about the deteriorating relationship of one (she needs to put this thing out of its misery for sho) and the bickering between the hostess and her husband.

Why? I am SO GRATEFUL I've taken the time I needed to know myself and be confident in my choices!!


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"Patience is a virtue, but I don't have the time..."
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stargazer
post Feb 16 2009, 01:46 PM
Post #39


brown delicious
***
Posts: 2,938
From: here, there, everywhere


I can't believe I missed these alternatives to celebrating V-day! Damn. Guess, I will need to remember these alternatives next year.


--------------------
"I'm not impressed easily. Wow! A blue car!"-Homer Simpson
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humanist77
post Jan 12 2009, 05:51 PM
Post #40


belligerently lazy
***
Posts: 903
From: Chicago


ahhhh just got my new, full mattress and frame set up yesterday and had a lovely, undisturbed night of sleep. No blanket hogging, no one crawling into bed 3 hours after I've gotten in, and no one begging me for sex (trust me, none of these were good things).


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I pledge allegiance to and wrap myself in the flag of the United States Against Anything Un-American and to the Republicans for which it stands, two nations, under Jesus, rich against poor, with curtailed liberty and justice for all except blacks, homosexuals, women who want abortions, Communists, welfare queens, treehuggers, feminazis, illegal immigrants, children of illegal immigrants, and you if you don't watch your step.
-Matt Groening, Life in Hell
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