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> Pregnancy - all things good, bad, and otherwise
anoushh
post Oct 7 2006, 09:42 AM
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Oh cran, I love you SOOOO much right now.

I've felt so much of what you say. And what I havn't exactly felt I can certainly related to.

I guess I had this idea that I'd be some wondeful earth mother loving being pregnant.

HA! HA!!! Not. And I feel weird saying it b/c I was so pleased to be pregnant (I was nearly 40 when it happened, so it really looked like it wasn't going to) and I'm so conscious of how people who want to have children but can't for whatever reason feel I don't want to seem like I"m a whiner.

I know these are totally normal feelings, but it doesn't change the fact that there doesn't seem to be a lot of space to discuss/have these feelings.

And I'm incredibly apprehensive about having an actual baby there. (In comparison the birth doesn't scare me at all.) I keep thinking "what was I thinking, wanting to get pregnant?" Not like we didn't have ages to think about it. and talk, and we did. And I regularly thought about how I wanted to make sure I wasn't getting caught up in some kind of "I want it b/c I feel like I can't have it" dynamic. I don't think I ever was. It was probably more of a surprise to me than anyone that i ended up being 35 deciding after all these years wanting a baby when I never, ever did.

I'm also increasingly frightened that something will happen to the baby, either before it's born or after. I suppose to some degree that never goes away.

I'm still having serious problems/pain from bruxism at night. I'm really, really unhappy about this. I do not want to be dealing with serious tooth pain in labor. And it hurts all the fucking tme.

Part of me really hates those "do you love being pregnant' comments. How about asking "how do you feel" instead of, in essence, telling you what they think you should be feeling.

Anyway, 36 weeks as of tomorrow.

Cran, I think it sounds like you are doing really well.



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cranberrigirl
post Oct 7 2006, 07:04 AM
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Everywhere I turn lately, I either see pregnant women, or very new little babies. I'm beginning to feel like I'm in Village of the Damned. Needless to say it is freaking me out. Plus this whole birth this is baffling. Like one minute my friends pregnant, suddenly, she dialated, she goes away... and comes back two days later WALKING with a little baby like NOTHING HAPPENED. This is also freaking me out.

people keep asking me if I love being pregant. I don't really know. I'm 17 weeks and I'm still projectile pukin.. I feel fine, but lately I keep wanting to crawl into a ball and sleep. I tell people maybe the next time around, I'll feel more comfortable with this.

Anyhoo Hope everyone is doing well...
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anoushh
post Oct 5 2006, 10:06 AM
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Gained 5 lbs in two weeks.

I'm still in shock.

Hope Chani's move is going well.
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anoushh
post Sep 29 2006, 05:07 PM
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That's very good news!

My teeth are killing me. For the last several weeks (like, 12 or more) I have apparently been clenching my teeth while I sleep. This results in sometimes excruciating pain during the day from the resulting bruising.

It really hurts right now. I mean really, really, really hurts. I've taken two tylenol and it still hurts.

I hope that this is in some way pregnancy related as it's never happened before. Even if it isn't , later I'll be able to take stronger painkillers as well as being able to sleep on my back (which will make me more likely to snore, but probably less likely to clench.)

And I"m really uncomfortable these days. Just over 5 weeks to due date and counting.

Yeah, I'm full of complaints.

On the positive side, the instructor of hte water aerobics class I've been going to turned up today with a HUGE bag of baby clothes and a few other things. It was SO nice of her! I was really touched.
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chani
post Sep 27 2006, 04:51 PM
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Heartbeat +!! Thank cod. Yeah, mox, just the bleed they saw on the ultrasound on Sept 12 - no new symptoms or anything. My folks came by to help us with packing and cleaning today, so my only task for tomorrow is cleaning the fridge and packing the cat and me in the car for the drive to the new house. Hugs to everyone, and once the internet is reconnected, I'll see you online.
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anoushh
post Sep 27 2006, 04:10 PM
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I think Chani's referring to her post of Sept 13th.
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moxiegirl
post Sep 27 2006, 03:44 PM
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chani- is something else wrong? (((chainibebe)))) Good luck with the move!

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anoushh
post Sep 27 2006, 01:50 PM
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You're moving, too! I didn't realize that. Wow. Take it easy as best you can. We moved from England when I was about 18 or so weeks along and it was so stressful--especially b/c we had the cats with us.

Good luck with that and the tests, too.

Moxie, I know you and Chani are right. (Besides being just terribly interested in it, I worked in a field that was, essentially, all about attachment theory.) So technically I know this stuff. That doesn't mean I dont need to hear it, though.

Thanks.
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chani
post Sep 26 2006, 04:49 PM
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Hello loungies!
I have been constantly amazed how well babies are designed to push our buttons at just the right times. In the beginning they're snuggable so you'll breastfeed them all the time. As they reach the stage where they need stimulation they suddenly become responsive and it's easy to respond back. When they need something it becomes very clear what it is - it felt like magic to me how easy it was to get the timing right.
We move across the province on Thursday. MrChani has done all the packing for me, and we've hired movers. I've got the next month off, so hopefully I can unpack slowly and get us settled. Crossing my fingers that we still hear a heartbeat at our prenatal appt tomorrow. No bleeding, anyways, so that's a good sign. Hope everyone has a good week!
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moxiegirl
post Sep 26 2006, 07:55 AM
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annoush- i had alot of the same fears. Still do. Striving to overcome them pushes me to be a better parent, i think. Understand, that the first week or two, you will be mush. Its such an emoptionally overwhelming experience, labor and delivery, that the first couple weeks were like PTSD recovery time. PLus, there is this absolutly snuggleable little being who is also jarred from the experience. Really, all newborns need is milk, a dry butt, and cuddles. The rest of parenting, i've noticed so far, comes as you get to know each other. Its blending as a family- a new person to the mix- you all (you, bebe, partner) all have to adjust together. Kind of like a very dependant roomate.
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anoushh
post Sep 24 2006, 11:14 AM
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http://www.drspock.com/article/0,1510,5901,00.html

The mucus plug is in your cervix and it's there to protect the fetus.

That specific scenario sounds improbable, but frankly in labor I don't think that's going to be top of my concerns.


I'm tired of being pregnant and I'm nervous about what happens after the birth. Will I cope? Will I be a crap parent? I know this is normal at this point, but I'm not liking it much.
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LoveMyPugs
post Sep 23 2006, 09:53 PM
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OK, I have a serious question! Now don't laugh cause I'm really curious. This chick at my work, who is not known for being a brain child, said that when you are pregnant your body builds up what she calls a "mucus plug" in your hooty hoo. Quite possible, a tiny bit gross, but still credible. Here is the silly part that concerns me. She said that a friend of hers while giving birth pushed very hard on a contraction and this "mucus plug" shot out across the room. As you can imagine this mental image brought about quite a roar of laughter from the crowd listening. DOES THIS REALLY HAPPEN? Is this just a joke she's pawning off on me? Cause I think that would be pretty f****** embarrassing. Not that a woman would care much while giving birth but I want someone to tell me if this can really happen. I guess if it does it's natural and nothing to be ashamed of but still I want to know the truth. Please help me out here.
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moxiegirl
post Sep 20 2006, 11:47 AM
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Seriously? Goodness. I mean, I scheduled the induction, originally, for the day my "preferred" doctor was on-call, but in the end, it wasn't him who delivered moxette, adn i didn't give a flying fuck who did.

Oh, birthing class! Thank goodness we never have to do that ridicolous experience again. That's all I'm saying about that.
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anoushh
post Sep 20 2006, 11:06 AM
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QUOTE(moxiegirl @ Sep 20 2006, 11:01 AM) *

and having other desires for timing of delivery (which suggests to me that one shouldn't be an OB!).


Amen to that. If you want everything to be "good timing" dermatology might be a good field for you.


I'm amazed, however, that there are also women who will say they want an elective CS so the baby won't deliver while their particular doctor is on vacation!

And thanks for your kind words. I"m having some panics lately, to be honest. I know it's normal, but still not very nice.

Anyway, I officially hate a couple in our birthing class. First the woman has made sure AT EVERY CLASS that we all know she has a graduate degree. Well, you know what? So do I, and yet somehow I manage to live my life without bringing it up in every damn conversation. Then, we find out her mouth-breather of a husband was a missionary in some third world country (something that for me is cultural genocide, to say the least). Then she's just really stupid last night. I could say more about that, but I'll be late to the midwife appointment I have in a few minutes, and it's not worth that.

The instructor is a nice woman, though.
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moxiegirl
post Sep 20 2006, 04:44 AM
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annoush- you sound very reasonable, and sure of yourself. What a great gift to give your bebe! I agree with you about the high Csection rate- it made me very nervous, until I spoke with my own dr.'s about it, who are really pretty anti-section. They don't think its all "safety" either- a combination of lower litigation risk (which blows for the patient), and having other desires for timing of delivery (which suggests to me that one shouldn't be an OB!).

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anoushh
post Sep 19 2006, 06:32 PM
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Moxie, having a doula isn't just for natural childbirth--a good doula should support you whatever your decision was. I'll report back about how it goes, but everyone I know who's had one (not many, admittedly) has raved about it. I wasn't at all interested at first, but the more I looked into it and thought about it (and looked at the incredibly positive results that women had with labor support) I decided I wanted to, and now I'm really, really glad we did hire her, and I think whatever happens she'll be money and time well spent.

One of my big problems with the rate of c-section and the rate of medical intervention in birth is that while it's often claimed to be done in the name of "safety" I'm pretty dubious about the risk/benefit ratio in many of those cases. Again, no one can convince me that a 30+% CS rate at the local hospital is what is safest for all those women. No way. All kinds of things, like routine continual heart monitoring and so many more are done in the name of safety, when in fact I think they often increase risk (as in, when you are desperately looking for something to worry about, you tend to find it, which leads to interventions which aren't necessary and many increase risk.
A lot of the protocols are more culture than science.

I thought very seriously about becoming a doctor myself--I still think about it from time to time. (In fact I was just thinking last night that the combination of my age and becoming a parent means that I will have to give up thinking about it for good now.) So I'm totally not someone who says medicine is all bad, doctors are all bad, etc. But I am wary of much of the arrogance of the culture around medicine and what that leads to (and though I'm not a doctor, I've worked a lot in medical environments, so have seen the whole range from fantastic to horrifying.)

Chani, you summed that up really well--thanks!

I'm due November 6th. I know it's not that long--it just feels like it sometimes and I'm finding PLENTY to worry about. I do my best to just say "stop it" though, and that actually helps most of the time, at least some.

Chani--I've been trying to remember when you are due.

And Friday will be here before too long. Take it easy until then! (Well, after then too, but it should be easier after Friday, I'd hope.)
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chani
post Sep 19 2006, 06:01 PM
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In most cases I won't decide for my patients. If it were me pregnant and making the decision, I'd likely try to VBAC but I'd be prepared to bail early if labour wasn't progressing well (I don't tell my patients that though, because I don't want to influence their decisions). Some women feel a personal need to try for a vag delivery and other women never want to go through labour again. Some women want to play it by ear and decide as we go.
The only significant risk with VBAC is uterine rupture. If it happens it's big and bad, so if I'm VBACing someone I want them in a hospital on a monitor. However it's rare.
Things that increase your risk of rupture:
-vertical uterine incision - if you had one, risk is too high to safely VBAC
Smaller risks that might lean me towards recommending repeat CS:
- "single layer uterine closure" (check your OR note)
- less than 1 or 2 years since your CS
But as anoushh's source said, with each repeat CS the risks with the pregnancy and the operation increases. Specifically your risk of placenta previa and accreta increases, along with the possible side effects of any abdominal procedures (eg. hernias, bowel obstructions etc).
I agree with anoushh. I hope your friend will be supported in her decision, whatever it is.
And I finish work on Friday!!!!!!
and anoushh... I hope you have a restful night tonight! When are you due again?
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moxiegirl
post Sep 19 2006, 05:43 PM
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well, she's pretty aware of my own thoughts on the matter, as pertains to myself. I do know she feels like the c-section was maybe rushed a bit the first time. Well, regardless, i know she and her hubby make great descisions, and she has better docs this time around. My SIL raved about her expreience with a doula. If we had been more committed to natural childbirth, i would most certainly have had one. My whole "birthplan" was: hold baby afterwards. Most women have much more definite ideas about what they'd like for a birth experience. I don't know if my attitude was good or not, to be honest. It just was what it was.

ok, off to watch my favorite arrogant doctor on tv. Feel well, my favorite life-warmers.
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anoushh
post Sep 19 2006, 01:55 PM
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I think a cesarean would be very, very hard for me. I know it's something I need to watch out for, in fact. (I mean my own tendency to beat myself up or find something "blame" myself for when that's not really even the issue.)

I guess my fear is more that it would be forced on me in some way, or that I'd feel forced. I can totally understand your feelings about it, and I think that at the point where you had one you had the healthiest attitude possible. If I find myself in the same situation I hope I can approach it as well as you have.

It must have helped that you had what seems like such a great doctor. But even with that I think you have a better attitude than me in terms of flexibility (that's not exactly the right word, but it's the best i can think of at the moment.)

In fact, this is one of the reasons I wanted to hire a doula--to help me through my own feelings if we find ourself in that situation. That is, to remind me of things like your point about a healthy baby being the priority. I know my partner could do that too, and I'm sure he would, but I know how hard it would be for him knowing how I feel, and I don't know how much I'd believe him.

I'm glad your friend has a choice based on what she eventually decides is best for her, rather than being fear-of-litigation imposed. It also seems really positive that she's thinking about it this early so she has time to get any information she feels she needs to make the decision that is right for her.

As you know, I too have strong feelings on the matter. If it was my friend I suppose I'd do what I think you are doing (or I'd try to do that, anyway), which is support her in making a fully informed decision she feels comfortable about based on her personal circumstances (which include both the medical facts of her case and her feelings about the whole situation.) Since I am so opinionated, I'd probably own up to my own feelings, just as a forwarning to my friend so she could be on the lookout for when my own bias creeps in and maybe I"m not noticing it at the time--and I'd tell her that part too.

I'm not saying you should do any of that--just thinking about what I might do in a similar situation.
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moxiegirl
post Sep 19 2006, 12:21 PM
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yeah, her dr. is at the biggest hospital in our area. she can have either, unless, obviously, there is an emergency...

she's going back and forth right now. knowing my own feelings on the matter, i didn't feel particularly objective in helping guide the discussion towards her own best interests. I try really hard not to interject my own views into stuff that personal. I suspect she leans towards VBAC, but is nervous in general about another delivery. Understandable, after long labor and emergency c-section.

Annoush, do you think if something goes wrong, that you'd be ok with a c-section, or violated in some way? Myself, I was resigned to whatever was best and safest at the time. Figured, any way we looked at it, we get a baby in the end. Again, though, I had a very "managed" pregnancy (low thyroid, lots of bleeding from low placenta, GD, and low amniotic fluids), and the whole thing is something i don't really want to do again.

It is a shame about your hospital, though. Too much damed lititgation drives doctors away from providing safe alternatives, eh?
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