[luleey]

Funny, thinking of you and keeping hope in my head and heart!! I don't have prior experience to rely on, I can only say be positive and breathe deeply, taking care of yourself and of course your baby. Let us know how the appt. goes.

Aw, Zelda, that sounds so aggravating to be so exhausted. But don't beat yourself up over it! The end is supposed to be hard!!

Cristine, thinking of you too...

Funnily enough I've felt pretty awesome the past couple days, which has in turn led me to worry, like, wait, why do I feel so good? Is that bad???? I guess we have no choice but to worry and then try to make ourselves relax! Geez!

((((hugs to all))))

[zelda]

Christine, I hope this is your month! Keep us updated.

Funny, I am just waiting and waiting for your update. I really do think everything is okay.

Y'all...I cannot begin to express to you the level of fatigue that has hit me this week...at almost 31 weeks. Gone is the idea of coming home to work out after work...I am so f'ing tired...and there is so much to do. And I haven't done any of it! I don't feel ready at all!!!!

I know we still have a few more weeks, but if I remain at this level of exhaustion, I have no idea how I will get it all done.

Ooooofff......

[nickclick]

funny, take it easy tonite and let us know how the scan goes tomorrow. i feel positive as well that you'll be sharing some good news.

[Cristine]

Michelina, I am so sorry!! It really sucks that you have to deal with all this crap all at once. A friend of mine (34) that I haven't see in a few months just told me she's pregnant & wasn't trying! When I asked how far along she was she told me 6 months!!! She knew I was trying and was hoping we could announce it together, but now that it's been so long AND I'm going to see her next week, she decided to tell me on the phone. The worst part is I was at my BFF's son's 1st birthday party and was surrounded by babies, you can imagine how horrible it was. I really was happy for her but just bad timing on that phone call. Anyway, please keep us posted about IVF. Are you going to continue IUI in the meantime? You are on my mind girl!!

Funny, I can only imagine how scary this is considering the last time, but I really think it's quite common to have cramps & even bleeding with everything being perfectly normal. Try to hang in there, I feel very positive that everything will be ok. Please keep us posted! Oh and My BFF had horrible cramps throughout her first trimester and some bleeding, includimg some incredibly scary bleeding near the end of her 3rd tri.

I have a feeling we missed it this month cuz of my crazy delayed ovulation. I partially picked the dates of our vacation based on when I anticipated ovulation, I hope some of that vacation sperm held on. I know it's not impossible to get pregnant on 3 day old sperm but if I haven't yet gotten pregnant on fresh swimmers, I'm not too optimistic. Mr. C had a horrible back spasm on the 1st day we should have had sex and on the 2nd day we were just so busy that we ended up being too tired for sex! When did sex become such a chore??!!

[jenny_dreadful]

Funny, I'm keeping everything crossed for you, I'm so so sorry you're going through this worry. I really hope it isn't what you think it is, and I wanted to echo aphelendra, in my first trimester I had cramps exactly like the strong period pains I normally get that I would take medication for. I've just had my first period after giving birth in December, and i felt pregnant again with the cramps. Good luck tomorrow, I'm sending all positive feelings your way. (((funny)))

[aphelendra]

p.s. to Funny - "Mild" is not a word I would have used to describe the kind of cramping I had in my first tri, and this is coming from someone with endometriosis who had been dealing with periods that left me immobile and required narcotics just to get through the first two days . . . .

[aphelendra]

Spoke with the nurse at my doc's office this morning, all seems well. The swelling has gone down considerably after upping my H2O intake and keeping my feet up, doc feels there's no need for concern as long as everything is returning to normal. Still can't get the dreaded preeclampsia out of my head - but hopefully that's just me being a worry wart.

Zelda, no swelling or morning sickness?! I will promise not to hate you, but can you allow me just a teensy bit of jealousy?????

Funny, I also think that things are going to turn out just fine tomorrow! I had awful cramps in my first trimester. The whole time was extremely painful, and I convinced myself on more than one occasion that the cramping/pain signaled the end. Everything turned out fine, and here we are at 23 weeks. A growing uterus can be really painful, but just imagine what's going on inside!

I hope your scan gives you some reassurance.

[zelda]

Funny HANG IN THERE. It could still really all be okay. In fact, I'm almost sure it is. The cramping can get pretty intense in those first few weeks. So can a dull, achy feeling because of the increased blood flow to the uterus. As long as there is no bleeding, it is okay. In fact, even a little bleeding is often okay.

I am sure you are so on edge, and I'm so glad you're going in tomorrow. Try to hang in there until tomorrow.

Also remember your mind can be your worst enemy. You may be so focused on the cramping because you're worried about it (obviously), and you may even be intensifying the cramping in your mind. I'm not saying it's all in your head - only that the mind is capable of some amazing things sometimes...so there may be that element associated with this as well.

Please let us know as soon as you know something. Thinking of you BIG time.

[funnybird]

Michelina, I'm so sorry. I think I might be joining you in a padded room where we can scream and swear and kick the walls.

I've been cramping since yesterday. I know from google that 'mild' cramping at 8 weeks is normal, but I think this may be beyond 'mild'. I'm not bent double with pain, but I'm gritting my teeth and wincing. No spotting or bleeding yet, and I still have my other symptoms, but this doesn't feel good. I'm going for an ultrasound tomorrow morning - can't help thinking that this is the beginning of the end.

Fuck fuck fuck. This isn't fair.

[zelda]

Ache is gone and Elliott is moving, thanks for asking everyone! Only downside is I'm bloated and gassy today, but what else is new? ;-)

Aphelendra, I can relate with the fatigue. I had no first trimester fatigue, but it definitely started to kick up again in week 22, 23 or so. Just try to rest when you can...it sucks, I know!

Unfortunately, I have had no swelling whatsoever (I know, and no nausea either...please don't hate me). My BFF did have such swelling and had to take off all her rings early in her third trimester.

I *do* know that swelling ALONG with high blood pressure and protein in the urine can be a cause for concern, BUT I seriously doubt that is what is happening with you - sounds like just typical pregnancy swelling. But I would go ahead and call your doc. I think I read somewhere that drinking lots of water is supposed to help. You would think that would make it worse, but it actually is supposed to help.

Let us know what the doc says.

[aphelendra]

Michelina - I have no words for how sorry I am. So hard to struggle for so long and then just get bombarded by having both siblings expecting around the same time. I'm very glad you found a clinic in Vancouver. I understand your need to stay away, but know we're all thinking of you. If you're feeling up to it, we'd love to hear your updates as you begin IVF.

Kitty - Usually they wait till 8-10 weeks to ensure there will be something to see on ultrasound, so it sounds like you'll be getting to see the bean at your appointment. I wish I had some magic words to relieve your stress, but my only advice is to stay away from the google monster, heh heh.

Zelda - sorry about the pulled muscle. As if being pregnant wasn't uncomfortable enough . . . . Hopefully there has been no other reason to worry and everything has resolved itself by the time you read this.

Also had a query for ya, if you don't mind . . . . My ankles just suddenly blew up the last few days, after really pretty minor swelling up til now. Did the fred-flintstone-feet syndrome hit you this early (I'm 23 weeks today)? There is this most disturbing crease in my fatty fat ankles now . . . yak. I think I might call doc on monday, but was curious what your experience had been.

I feel like I've been running a marathon every day this week. So.dang.tired. All.the.dang.time.

Sigh.

Hope all is well and sending the good vibes across the magical intertubes . . . .

[nickclick]

zelda, thank you thank you thank you for being here. what you share is always reassuring.

are you still achy? is Elliott doing all his kicks today? sounds like a good reason to relax and pay attention to him.

kitty, i had an ultrasound at 7.5 weeks and saw the heartbeat. it's truly amazing. it makes it all real. how much longer until your appt?

we told two friends today, a couple who have a 9-month old daughter. they loaded us up with books and fiber bars (she had/has constipation issues like me). i read 'what to expect' and will start cracking on their copy of 'mayo clinic' soon. they also shared last year's edition of 'baby bargains' which another new mom friend of mine also recommended. they both offered to go a-registering with us, when the time comes. we're lucky to have their help.

((thinking of Michelina)))

[zelda]

Kitty, it's like I am reading myself six months ago when I read your posts. I know just how you feel. It's so scary those first few weeks. And it's so frustrating because there's really nothing you can do but wait! And it took us 9 months to get here, too, so I know how you feel.

I was first seen by the doctor at 9 weeks. They did do an ultrasound then to confirm the pregnancy. We saw the heartbeat which was very reassuring. I'm told once they see the heartbeat, your odds are good. Even better when they hear the heartbeat (that happened for me at 11 weeks even though for some women it can take longer).

They will also do a blood test to check your HCG levels. I bet if they don't do an ultrasound, I'll bet you can request one if you're on edge.

I know how scary it is...try not to Google too much, but I know how tempting it can be. I remember feeling a lot better once I got to 8 weeks, then 10 weeks. Something about those numbers helped.

The one thing I hung on to in the beginning was the fact that we HAD conceived. That was huge for me after 9 months of trying. As devastating as a m/c would have been, just knowing it could happen really did make me feel better.

Thinking of you!

[kittygirl1979]

Sorry to double post- but Michelina- I just read your thread. Stay away from this part of the lounge if it helps. That's what I had to do. It seemed like everyone around me was getting pregnant when I wasn't. There were 3 women at work, and then my hairdresser. I just couldn't handle that -even though everyone on here is so supportive! I am thinking of you and trying to send you some positive energy. The statistics are still on your side- trust me- I am an obsessive worrier and have looked up everything regarding infertility I can think of!

[kittygirl1979]

Hi everyone!

Christine- hope your baby making went well!

Zelda- I think you are right about morning sickness being hereditary. My mom never had ANY with me, and I think I also remember reading that somewhere, too. Hope your pulled muscle is feeling better?

We went out last night and actually only 2 of our friends noticed me drinking Sprite. They asked if I was pregnant (everyone knows we have been trying). I'm terrible at lying so we told those 2. We asked them not to tell anyone else since it is still so early.

Parents and in laws were here yesterday and we told them too. My husband's mother started crying (I was surprised- they already have 6 grandkids). My parents were super excited- I'm an only child.

I hope everything just keeps going along like it is supposed to. I am over googling every little thing worrying that there will be a problem. It took us 9 months to get here- I don't want something to happen now. I read where women who took the pill had a lower rate a miscarriage. I was on the pill for 11 years. I am SO OCD! AAAHHH! It's terrible! I think I am going to have to limit my googling to 20 minutes a week or something- it's completely ridiculous.

Does anyone know if they will do an ultrasound at my first appointment? They said they would not see me til 8-10 weeks. I will be 8 weeks at my appointment. In my over googling I read that if a heartbeat is detected the chance of miscarriage is 5%. I just keep reminding myself that it is only 15% as it stands. So the odds are with me. Oh, I am SO stressed out!

[zelda]

(((((((((((Michelina))))))))))))))

Oh, Michelina, I just wish wish wish I could make this all go away for you and make it better. I can't imagine what you must going through. I can only echo what everyone else has said. You need to take care of yourself. If that means not talking to pregnant ladies or not posting here for a while or whatever you need to do, DO IT. That also includes talking to someone...you'd mentioned you'd started seeing a counselor and I hope you still are and that it's helping at least a little.

We both started posting here around the same time, and we've "known" each other for a long time via this thread. You are always in my thoughts, and I always look to see your posts and want to know what is going on with you, but I also realize there have been lots of pregnant ladies on this thread lately, and that it could be painful for you to come here as often.

I just want you to know that we are all pulling for you and thinking of you. I just keep thinking of the many, many couples who have struggled with infertility who have gone on to have babies. I really do believe this will happen for you (not sure if it helps to hear that or not)...but in the meantime, I just know this must be awful for you.

I'm thinking of you and just sending positive thoughts your way....

(((((((((((Michelina)))))))))))))))

[yumyum]

(((Michelina)))

I wish I could think of something eloquent to say, but I can't. All I can say is my heart goes out to you and I'm sorry to hear how much pain you're in right now. It sounds like switching clinics is the right thing for you to do. You need to do what you need to do to get through this. I want you to know that I'm still hopeful that things will start looking up soon, and I'm still thinking all kinds of good thoughts for you and Mr. M (even though I post infrequently these days).

[luleey]

Michelina, there is not much else I can think of to say except that my thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time and I know your strength and determination will eventually bring your baby to you, however arduous that journey may or may not be. Allow yourself to feel the myriad of emotions you'll experience as they come, while also being aware of some of the good and even wonderful things in your life right now too, even though it's hard.

And a big thank you for your support of me and everyone in this thread, it really means so much! Take care of YOURSELF and do what in your heart you know is best for you.

((hugs))

[Michelina]

Congratulations, Kitty! Wow, so many fall babies!

I'm trying to stay away from sites about pregnancy, infertility, etc. as it already plagues my mind enough. But I do want to update you Busties now and then.

I had a negative urine test last week, and stopped the progesterone. That morning my sister called me at work (not sure why everyone feels they cannot wait until I am home) to tell me that she is pregnant. This is her second. She is due late November - about a month after my SIL. They both live in Calgary and I cannot express the jealousy I feel. Of course I am happy for my sister (and happiest for my niece who wants to be a big sis), but the unfairness and the bad timing is almost more than I can take.

I had another huge breakdown at work. My manager wanted me to go home, but I refused to sit at home and bawl by myself. I have been very unstable since.

Calgary is completely 100% out now. I would have been staying with my sister so avoiding a pregnant woman would be impossible given these new circumstances. We have now self referred to Vancouver to a clinic called Genesis. We can likely start as soon as our vacation is over in August. We could do IVF at home, but I would likely not start until Oct or NOv, and if it doesn't work, I don't know how I would handle the births just weeks later. At least in August, we would have some time to adjust to bad news before putting on a fake smile and being nothing but ecstatic for my younger sibs. I am bitter and angry and scared, and for that reason too, I won't be posting a lot.

I truly wish everyone here all of the best despite the fact that I want to be right there with all of you so much that it hurts.

Cristine, I am thinking of you. Crossed fingers and toes.

[zelda]

Luleey, kick counts are something you don't need to worry about until about 28 weeks of pregnancy. My doctor (and most pregnancy books) suggest you do them twice a day.

It's easy. After you eat breakfast and an evening meal, lie down quietly (I like to rest on my left side) and wait until you've felt about 10 movements from the baby. My doctor suggests 5 to 10 movements is just fine. Any movement at all counts - not just hard kicks, but swishes, rolls, flutters, etc.

If you don't have 10 movements in 1 hour, you might want to drink some juice, shake your belly a little, walk around, etc. and try again. You're supposed to aim for 10 movements in two hours. If you don't get them, you should probably call the doctor just to check.

My mom says they never suggested this years ago and that it only serves to make pregnant women more neurotic. Could be true...my BFF never did them. She just made sure her baby was moving every so often. But for me, I've found doing the kick counts reassuring.

A word of caution...DON'T even consider doing this until 28 weeks or so. Even though I started feeling my baby move around 18 weeks, there is no way I would have been able to get 10 counts twice a day back then. Sometimes when I first started feeling movement, I'd feel a tiny bit just once a day if that...so there's no need to do kick counts until the third trimester.