[funnybird]

Thanks! How do I feel? Just really, really surprised! I'd pretty much given up on the prospect of us conceiving naturally and had been planning what to say to my GP about getting us referred for tests. I had cramps for most of last week, but they seem to have eased of a bit although I'm still getting the odd twinge. My breasts are starting to feel tender and I'm rather gassy, but apart from that I don't feel any symptoms at all. I'm slightly reassured by the conception indicator on the test which shows that my hcg levels are more normal than last time, but I'm still nervous - I expect to see blood every time I use the toilet.

The whole weekend has been surreal. I think neither Architect Boy or I want to get too attached to the idea for fear of it all being taken away again. I wish I could hibernate for the next seven weeks.

[aphelendra]

YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYY FUNNYBIRD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

congrats congrats congrats!!!!!!!!!!

[Cristine]

FUNNYBIRD, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!! You just made my day!!!! I'm so incredibly happy for you and wish you all the best!!!

[Michelina]

Funnybird, congratulations!!! I am so happy for you! You've been through hell this last year and I am so glad to see that you have good news. How are you feeling?

[funnybird]

Ellen, congratulations on little Elsie! I bet she's as beautiful as her name.

As for me - remember that I said a few posts ago that I had no hope for this cycle? Well, it seems I was wrong. Towards the end of the week my temperature started rising instead of falling like I expected, and on Friday morning I realised my chart looked awfully triphasic so I tested.... and it was positive!

It was a clearblue digital, and 'pregnant' came up straight away, and '2-3 weeks' a few moments later. We then spent the weekend with my family pretending nothing was out of the ordinary, which wasn't too hard as it doesn't seem to have sunk in yet. I think I'm still in shock!

[aphelendra]

Ellen, congrats! I'm glad things turned out so well, despite a scary week at the end. It's also very encouraging to hear that breastfeeding is going smoothly for you and Elsie. Sometimes I feel like all I hear are the negative stories . . . . which is a rant for another time, ha ha.

Zelda, sorry that the anxiety monster is rearing its ugly head again . . . . I just had a nasty panic attack this morning, and woke up Mr. at 4:30 am, sobbing about how we were going to manage to pay taxes with all our additional expenses this year . . . . I think it's back to therapy for me. Seriously, who wakes up in the middle of night sobbing about these things???? I do, apparently. At one point, there was actual wheezing.

Then I spent the rest of the morning convinced I had caused preterm labor with all of my hysteria. Ah, to be me. Anyways, am calmer now, and buggo is kicking away.

As happy as I was when I started to feel movement, sometimes it seems that it just created a whole new realm of worry. I feel ya Zelda, once they start moving I wish they would just never stop and I would never have to worry about what's going on in there . . . . they can sleep/rest when they come out, dammit!

Michelina, I'm glad you were able to get away, but still sorry you're feeling down. A pox on your SIL!

When I started trying to conceive I was still having lots of anxiety/depression issues. My psychiatrist told me that there were several antidepressants that were safe to take, although at the time I wasn't being seen by an infertility specialist, so I don't know if they would have felt differently. I didn't end up doing it, but it certainly was nice to know the option was there.

One of my mommy friends took Zoloft for her entire pregnancy and for her first few postpartum months, with no complications.

Good luck on the next IUI, I think it just shows how strong you really are, that you were able to move forward with treatment this month despite everything that's going on.

happiness and healthiness to all!

My 20 wk scan countdown continues . . . . four more long and arduous days . . . .

[Cristine]

Thanks Aphelendra & Michelina! I'm sure I'll have more questions so thanks in advance for your advice!

Zelda, we've been unofficially trying for 10 months but 8 months officially.

Ellen, congratulations on little Elsie!!

[Michelina]

Ellen, congratulations on your little bundle! I am so pleased to hear that Elsie has made it into the world safe and sound.

Zelda, I am so sorry about your student. What a horrible loss. Random acts of violence are just so hard to understand. Will there be counselling available to the teachers and students at the school?

Cristine, I think you have a great plan. My experience with IUI has been similar to Aphelendra's save for the pregnancy part. :-) The worst part was not knowing when exactly I would get a positive OPK and having to scramble to make the appointment. The procedure itself was nothing more than wierd. Didn't hurt - maybe just pinched a little.

Funnybird, how are you? Where are you in your cycle?

I am on CD8 now and we have decided to try another IUI this month. I will do an hcg shot this month to trigger ovulation. We are hoping for a more decent count this time. But even so, I am not that optimistic. I feel like I am just going through the motions now.

I was away on vacation last week, which was great, but there were still many tears. I figure I cried about a dozen times over the week. If my SIL had only waited to tell me until after my vacation, my trip would have been much more relaxing. I made an appointment with my GP for next week to talk about anti-depressants. I know that it may be contraindicated due to fertility treatment, but on the other hand, given the current situation, I may just need something to keep me a little more level. I see the psychologist in two days.

I am very frustrated because even though I say I don't want to do IVF in Calgary now, I am super frustrated that the referral has not been received and now my doctor is away for several weeks. It is so hard to be in limbo - waiting for referrals, wondering if they have been made, whether they have been lost, worrying about time lines. And it's hard to feel one moment like I want to get started with IVF tomorrow and wanting nothing to do with it the next moment.

Thanks to all of you for the many kind words during this time.

[zelda]

Ellen, so good to hear from you...and so happy that Elsie is happy and safe at home despite a rough few weeks at the end. I love the name Elsie....was one of our girl name choices if we'd had a girl!

Thank you all for the kind words about my student. It has been really hard and emotional for me these past few days. She was such a lovely kid, so sweet and funny. It has been really hard to make sense of the senseless. My school community has been rallying, but there is no way to really get closure on something so sad...

Thanks for the kind words about my screening. The three hour test is really annoying but ultimately not too bad. The worst was I was so hungry having had to fast the night before and that morning. They drew my blood four times after drinking the glucose solution. I'll hopefully learn the results Monday. My research has told me that only 15% of women who have to have the additional screening actually end up having gestational diabetes, and even if I have it, it's completely manageable with diet and exercise. Of course I hope I don't have it, but if I do, I will deal with it for little Elliott!

Lately I've been having fears about Elliott's movement which I know is completely anxiety-based. My doctor told me to do kick count checks for my peace of mind during this last trimester. After eating breakfast and dinner, rest for an hour and make sure I get 10 movements within one hour. Well little Elliott has been moving far more than that - typically 10 movements in 10 to 15 minutes! But in the middle of the night, he has been very quiet. I find myself waking up to go to the bathroom and then, when I get back to bed, I wait for movement and get nervous when I don't feel it. He's just sleeping, most likely, but I still get nervous when I don't feel him! I'm dreading the last few weeks when I know he will move less....any mama BUSTies have any advice on not stressing about this so much?

The nursery is coming along - painted and furniture and clothing starting to pile up. I really, really cannot wait to meet him, It's amazing how during the pregnancy he has gone from this totally abstract concept to a real baby I talk to and visualize and love.

Cristine, I am glad you have folks here who are able to give you IUI advice...remember it took us 9 months or so...how many months have you been trying? At the very least you should get a preliminary screening of the both of you...we did that (well, we were in the process of doing that when I got knocked up!), and it really did help me feel more proactive.

Michelina, I would not let your SIL prevent you from going to Calgary...she's not worth it! I cannot believe her behavior - how totally insensitive. I would just hate to see you miss out on the IVF opportunity because of her callousness...perhaps you could go and stay in a hotel? Or make a visit very brief? I'm sure your brother will understand.

Okay, more later...and hope all are doing well!!!

[ellenevenstar]

Hi All,
Sorry I completely dropped off the radar. It just got too much to keep up with.
I want to let you know our joyful news: our daughter Elsie was born on Monday 22 February at 36 weeks + 4 days' gestation.

Pregnancy was all plain sailing until the final two weeks when I had intermittent cramps which became more strong and regular, and I was losing mucus. The week before Elsie arrived I was ordered to complete bedrest and was in quite a lot of pain while gradually losing my mucus plug with a bit of blood. I had to finish work a week earlier than planned!

Elsie was breech and I'd been doing all sorts of things to turn her - yoga poses, light and sound on lower abdomen, visualisation and acupuncture. I had an ECV booked for Wednesday 24th but we didn't make it that far! My waters broke on the acupuncture table on Monday evening at 5:30 pm. We were in hospital by 6:30 and were told that the 35 week ultrasound showed that her bottom was particularly small, while her head was relatively big, so attempting vaginal breech delivery would be extremely risky - so I was off for a caesarean section and she was out by 10:23pm. She did not need any special care and, apart from taking a couple of days to get her head around sucking on my boob, she has been well and thriving since.

We have been at home for a week now and are absolutely loving it. To us, she is the most gorgeous being ever created! She's sleeping quite well at night and feeding's going extremely well now.

Thanks for your support during the early, nervous days of my pregnancy with Elsie.
I wish for similarly blissful outcomes for you all xxx
ellen.

[aphelendra]

Hey Christine -

I conceived during an IUI cycle. We didn't use any FSH drugs (the variety that stimulate ovulation and cause production of multiple eggs), which made the process relatively simple, although I did use Ovidrel ( an HCG drug to ensure ovulation was complete) and later was put on a pretty high dose of progesterone.

The procedure itself was totally painless, although I think some women get some minor crampy feelings when the catheter passes the cervix. The weirdest part was having to lie on my back with my knees in the air for fifteen minutes (and the fact that I was totally impregnated by a women, ha ) in the middle of an exam room.

A week after I had blood drawn and started my progesterone lozenges. Twelve days later we knew we were preggers!

If I had one piece of advice to give it would be to pay really close attention to your body around ovulation. The clinic had me using standard OPKs and they can be tricky to read. We went after closing on a thursday to have an u/s, because I couldn't tell if my OPK was positive or not (one of the NPs at the clinic stayed open for us, she'll be getting flowers on my delivery day!). My dominant follicle was 15mm, they sent me home and told me to come back sunday morning for the insemination. But friday night I noticed tons of fertile CM and ended up calling them at 10 at night and asked to have the procedure done the next morning. By the time I made it in saturday morning, I had already ovulated.. If we had waited until sunday we surely would not have conceived that month . . . .

Anyways, I hope some of that was helpful, and I'd be more than happy to answer any other questions at all . . . .
Good luck!!!!!!

Hope everyone else is doing well . . . .

I'm going a little nutso over here. For some reason I was convinced my 20 wk u/s was scheduled for last friday, but when I went to double check it turned out the appt was for next thursday . . . . aaaaarrrrrrgggg how time drags . . . . Luckily Mr. had already arranged to take the day off, so instead of going to the doctor we did some shopping, got him a much needed haircut, and went to dinner with friends. still would have been better to see buggo . . . .

New u/s countdown . . . . . five looooooonnnnng days to go . . . . .

[Cristine]

Zelda, how are you, how was the screening?

I started my period last night, which wasn't too big of a surprise after my temp dip yesterday. So we're gonna give it another cycle before I get referred to an infertility clinic. I'm pretty excited about IUI even though I don't know everything about it, does anyone have anything I need to know?

Michelina & funnybird, how are you doing?

[aphelendra]

Zelda - I wish I had some sage words of advice or some tid bit of comfort to offer . . . . but really what can be said about something so tragic other than I'm so sorry this happened? And I hope you find some kind of comfort soon . . . . in the mean time I'm sure you'll be a great comfort to your students and the community, just like you've been a wonderful comfort to all of us busties . . . .

[nickclick]

(((zelda))) that is sad news. how did the screening go today?

[funnybird]

Shit Zelda, that's horrific - just so fucked up I can't get my head around it. I'm so sorry your results weren't all plain sailing after you already had to deal with such horrible news. I hope things go better for you today. (((Zelda)))

[zelda]

Hey all...I just had a really, really shitty day.

One of my students was shot and killed last night in a hit and run accident. My student was riding with her mom and this man hit their car. When the mom chased the car to try and get the plates, the man in the other car pointed a gun at them and shot. My student was hit in the head and died this morning.

In the middle of all of this craziness, I got a call at work from my doctor that I need to come in tomorrow because I failed my first glucose screening, so I have to go in for the three hour screening tomorrow morning. I'm scared about that. Also, my iron is a little low and I need to take iron supplements.

I know both of these things are not huge deals and are relatively normal, but to get this news on the heels of this tragedy with my student is just too much...just a crappy, crappy day.

[lapis]

Hi everybody. I was here a bout 2.5 years ago. I just wanted to mention that increasing my protein and water helped me curb the weight gain--I gained 20 lbs in the first trimester and then it leveled off. If I had been eating more protein to begin with I think I would have avoided that first gain. Good luck!!

[aphelendra]

Christine - sorry about the negative . . . . not fun. I hope you get some much deserved rest and relaxation on your upcoming vacation . . . .

Nick - My acne was/is pretty bad during this pregnancy, although the fertility drugs were surely partly to blame. But the glycolic acid face wash the dermatologist gave me last week seems to be helping already. It's not getting rid of the big swollen uglies, but it's helping with the teeny tiny whiteheads that were literally blanketing my forehead.

Zelda - My fellow panic attacker! Fun times, eh?

I was diagnosed with panic disorder shortly before I was diagnosed with endometriosis. Needless to say, discovering I had limited fertility did not help my anxiety once I was diagnosed.

I don't know if you had problems before your pregnancy or are still having anxiety issues, but if you are or ever do, I found cognitive behavioral therapy to be the most amazing help. Sometimes I wonder if I would have made it through the last two years without it . . . .

Good luck on the gestational diabetes test!

I am positively dreading mine. My mom had it with both of us, and my weight gain has been crazy crazy crazy so far. Infernal hunger!

On a cheerier note . . . . three days till my 20 week scan!!!!! Nervous, nervous nervous . . . .

[Cristine]

Hey funny, I'm 12dpo & had a negative test today... my LP is typically 13-14 days but I think I've given up hope for this cycle. When I start my period Mr. C & I decided to book a vacation to San Francisco, haven't been there in years so I'm at least looking forward to that... and I'm planning it during my ovulation time, just in case. And no I'm not anticipating a vacation doing the trick for us, as we've been on 2 small vacations since TTC... I just need a fucking break from reality!!

On a side note, my breastfeeding friend who recently got pregnant just had a miscarriage yesterday. She & hubby are completely fine which helped me not feel as shitty for being jealous of her fertility and growing family! But then I started to get mad because just a week ago she heard the heartbeat and now she can be so matter of fact about it saying "it wasn't meant to be", so I guess there's really nothing she can say at this point that won't upset me in some way. I'm very close to becoming a hermit! Maybe I can beg my boss to work from home cuz I'm sick of saying "good, how are?" every time someone asks how I am... cuz I highly doubt anyone really wants know how I am right now!

I sincerely hope everybody else here is doing better than I am...

[zelda]

Nickclick, my zits were HORRIBLE very early on. I mean HORRIBLE. By 8 weeks or so they were almost all gone, and my skin has looked great during this pregnancy...

More later. I have my test for gestational diabetes today and am NOT looking forward to it!