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Full Version: Crimes of Fashion part Deux...this time, it's personal.
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kittenbonanza
That SATC outfit would be perfectly fine if those pants were freaking normal. Those things were practically overalls, they were so high up.
dusty
So, Mr. Dusty and I were hanging out by the side of the street drinking a pop and he (not normally catty at all) pointed out an outfit to me. I said, "Oh, yes, those are the ass-munching gauchos the CoFs hate that I was telling you about". I thought he was going to shoot grape Crush out of his nose.
hello-tampon
Yesterday. Cute girl, long hair, nice jeans and shoes, pink tube top (it fit her great) with black polka dots.

...and her ratty bra showing. A bra. With a tube top. And not just any bra. A bra that used to be white but is now all ucky.
doodlebug
Ok. I've been saving this one. If anyone finds out I posted this, I'm sure the negotiations are off. Anyway. We met with an elected official last week, and she has...interesting taste in clothing. Seems to me, she's always worn pink when she meets with us...and I know, psychologically speaking, you are supposed to wear pink to subdue your enemies. Last time, she wore a black and white glen check suit with pink lace trim. Weird.

THIS time, she wore a black two piece skirt suit...WITH....are you ready for this? All the edging around the neck, front, hems, and cuffs was rick rack, like a Chanel (maybe it was a Chanel), BUT, the rick rack was really thick, like running shoe laces, or maybe even wider. AND the rick rack was patterned in black and white gingham. AND in the middle part where the rick rack changes direction...in EVERY empty spot, there was a little bow. Alternating bows: black satin bows with a black and white gingham pieces on the front of them, AND slightly bigger pink satin bows with pink satin flowers in the middle. And she wore this with a black and white gingham shell top. And you just know this is a very expensive outfit. Like I said, she seems to favour the Chanel-type suit, but a vastly overdone variety of them. Maybe they are the real thing, maybe not. But they are just weird.

I started to write down a description of the outfit in my notebook during the meeting, but then I realized it was going to be burned into my retinas forever.
llamas
Doodle, just reading about that outfit made my head explode; I'm really not sure how you survived a meeting with it.
punkerplus
Not a truly outstanding one, but a crime all the same :

Young girl, plain black nicely fitting work trousers, pretty silky cream camisole....... and a black sports bra.

Why?
ms.gb
wtf? a sports bra? black under cream? whoa......does she have mirrors in her house?
punkerplus
And this was no small sports bra. It was huge. Which is fine, when it is being used for its correct purpose. Not when it is being used for under a tiny, strappy, pretty camisole!

Why does it make me so angry?
luleey
wow. after years of lurking, i finally, finally, have a cof to report. and it was noticed while i was driving, so you know it's pretty bad...the return of the ass-inhaling gauchos, part sixty-ten.

woman wearing all white (shirt ok, just regular) but the white, see-thru, skin-tight up the butt gauchos that outlined every uneven surface on her ass were what did it for me. it gave a new meaning to cottage cheese butt (not that i don't have the same frickin thing, but i don't wear too-small white spandex type things that highlight it.)

sheesh, i say. SHEESH.
quietmadness
sad.gif sad.gif I saw a girl today outside the grocery. Pretty girl (head turning pretty!) with nice white cami top, hoop earrings, cut-off blue jean daisy dukes, really pretty strappy sandals.

Ok, "And the CoF?" you might ask? Well, she also had on brown leggings underneath the shorts, that fit skin tight and fell about mid-calf length.

Now, I'm not all that up on the fashion beat, so I ask: Is this a CoF, or is that just something that's now in style?! huh.gif unsure.gif

Too wierd if you ask me, but then like I said...
theredhead
Oh, it's true ... leggings are back with a vengeance. I was surfing through the Delia's online catalog the other day (hey, come on, there are a few cute things! Like the black twill pants I'm totally buying when my paycheck comes ...) and they have a whole *section* called "Tights and Leggings". Eeeeeyikes.

Nothing original to report from here; just a scary pair of white cameltoe-making gauchos, paired with an odd-looking lime green shirt. Pretty standard for this thread, though!
bustygirl
[size=2]Actually, I like leggings. <dodges tomatoes>

[size=4]Delia's has quite a few cute things this fall. More than I've seen in the last few Stevie-Nicks-Threw-Up years. Very mod--clean lines, proportions that make sense, bright crisp colours paired smartly with neutrals. No sequins, overstitching, shrugs, holes, or stupid hippie prints.
misspissed
ack, doodle, i am trying to make sense of that lady's outfit. yikes.

so over the weekend i saw a couple in matching outfits, sort of.
the girl had a dress in the same print/fabric of her beau's shirt. the dress and shirt were of an OK cut -- but the fabric print was the most horrendous thing i've ever seen outside of "That 70's Show". it was a grey-blue lava-lamp inspired blobby kinda print.
horrible.

my coworker and i couldn't imagine what store you could even buy something like that -- we conjectured they had them custom made. *double barf*
missladyj
Brown guachos, light yellow shirt that was TUCKED INTO THE PANTS!!!! with darker yellow sandals yikes

Red halter top, with black bra totally visible.
quietmadness
So, the brown tight leggings UNDER the shorts is a new fashion print?!

Hmmm....interesting, I guess.

I can't *wait* to see all the cellulite THAT will bring out of the "closet!" dry.gif
doodlebug
Cripes, and I only just shook off the Ghost of Leggings Past when I cleaned out the storage bins three years ago.
margot
Yeah, Bustygirl, I like leggings too. If I wore 'em the first time, I must be too old now though?

Right then, on a woman in her fifties:-
Glittery espadrilles (ok)
Huge glittery gold bag
Lots of glittery bangles, inc. huge glittery hairclip holding frizzy bleached out hair in a side ponytail!
Long floaty skirt (phew, something innoffensive)
LIME GREEN NYLON LACE SHIRT, TIED UNDER THE BOOBS. Displaying a wobbly white tummy.
Also, she had electic blue eyeshadow applied as if by spatula.

However, I then realised she was returning a large make-up brush, and exchanging it for a small one. Maybe she was on her way back to the lime green shirt store?
sybarite
Maybe there's an outreach programme that supplies mirrors to those in need?

Today, shopping for shoes in posh department store (fat chance): blonde woman, tanned, late 30s/early 40s, channelling the 80s. White T shirt with *rolled up* short sleeves, black cotton jumper (in the American sense: a dress held up with straps) over--you guessed it--knee length leggings. Flat gold shoes. Hair up in a *rakish* looking hair clip. I expected her to smell of 'Giorgio'.

I love it when these people walk around innocuously, innocent of the havoc they create in their wake (or leggings debates anyway).
punkerplus
There is crime happening in front of my eyes.

Elderly man, trainer, pulled up white socks with the st georges cross, african-y print shorts in red and orange, red jumper with white and yellow horizontal stripes.

Its too much for my eyes! But I'll let him off, seeing as he didn't add leggings to the ensemble.
walkingbitch
QUOTE(sybarite @ Jul 14 2006, 12:44 PM) *

I expected her to smell of 'Giorgio'.


What? Not Escape?
walkingbitch
Last night I was in Queens Center Mall, buying a schweet swatch watch, but never mind that....

WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE?
I saw more strangled, gasping for air vaginas walking around than I care to even joke about. Can't they feel that there is a freaking SEAM cleaving their cleft further into two? I mean, come on, yes there is a sometimes occasional camel toe happening especially in thinner material soft weaves, sometimes, what I refer to Camel Toe at Rest occurs, when one can't help that their noni has started eating the crotch of their pants, shorts etc, when they sit down, but seeing as this is usually just seen by the offender when looking down into their own lap, I am assured, as when it happens to myself, that you raise yer ass a bit, tug at the thigh material and give some air there.

The other thing. Roots. I admit, I am currently an offender. But seeing that it is summer and the fucked up highlight job that I got done on stripped hair, (yeah not reccomended), am I really at fault for my now broze / orange/ sunin looking shaded chunks of ass my hair is, when I can't even think of dyeing it for the next 3 months? I have however an inch or two of roots. BUT when your hair is half spaghetti looking highlighted orange blonde and brown and the new "growth" is 6-7 inches? Don't flop that shit up in one of those twisted up messy clipped updo things. It looks like you went into Claire's Boutique and bought your black hair self a fake hair clippie for halloween.
polly_esther
I'll admit to the leggings thing too - but I'll also admit that I have very long shapely legs too (hell, it's about the only body part I got going for me).

I've got a backlog of CoFs!

Gauchos - Infinity
- Black coochie snacks (nee, gauchos) worn with white panty hose and white slides!
- Yet another pair of black coochie snacks, well worn and not in a worn well way. Like in a "these are my only skants (skirt/pants) and I wash them daily" way. These things were so pilled I could see the pilling from 10 feet away! Seriously, it was like she was growing tribbles.

A few weeks ago I was sitting around a hospital in my old 'hood while my momma was in surgery. I miss my old neighborhood, but damn, the people there know how to bring the crazy. I saw a fair share of really super pregnant teenagers and I swear at least 5 of them were wearing cropped tops. We're talking baby-tees with slogans like "pornstar" and the like. Uh, yeah. I shared the waiting room (for HOURS) with a woman wearing the most cod awful capris known to womankind. They were also at least 3 sizes too small for her. They were supposed to look "distressed" (and the stitching, unddoubtably was distressed), but really looked like acid wash to me. She was quite pear shaped, and they were ruched. Completely. From hem to waist. And people, her vag wasn't just munching on them, they were bingeing! I was horrified, and tried to keep my gaze down where I saw some piggies in desperate need of a pedi. Desperate. I mean, her feet were like rhino hide. I'll admit that I have a trenchant "no toes exposed" policy and get more squicked out than the normal person when it comes to seeing flip-flopped feet, but seriously, these were bad. Filthy filthy feet with thick yellow nails, and enough crusty dry skin around the heels to honestly make me feel naseous. And, ya know, to each there own. I don't like seeing peoples feet, but whatevs, that's just me. But you can not disagree that there are some feet out there that should NEVER see the light of day in public, much less in a hospital.

Oh sweet & merciful Bea Arthur! This post isn't long enough yet? I just walked down to get some water and lo & behold see TWO major crimes of fashion.

1. Very smart black & white patterned wrap desk with a crocheted/fringey poncho & black crocs. It was like a sartorial interpretation of schizophrenia.
2. Adorable pale pink flats with a pair of very ill-fitting brown velour lounge pants (a la J.Lo 4 years ago) with a grey Wonder Woman tee.

Both spotted in a corporate office.
doodlebug
I hereby rename tight-fitting crotch-huggers as "coochie snacks," in honour of polly's amazingly vivid description.

punkerjane, your description hurt MY eyes.

sybarite, I am dying for you to explain what a "rakish" hair clip looks like!

I am a CoF today, in a black cami with NO bra, and dirty, paint-splattered, baggy jeans, rolled up to mid-calf. BUT I'm seeing no one today. smile.gif
possum
Seen today while food shopping: Woman in hot pink, terry cloth miniskirt. Sandals. Jacket with weird pastel patchwork all over it. White cowboy hat. Louis Vuitton bag. Long bleached to hell hair with a barrette clamped in the middle. Walking into the store like she was all that and a bag o' chips.

Not only did she look ridiculous, WHY the hell was she wearing a jacket when it was 100 degrees today and heat index was 107?! Hell.


Uh, and OK, I need help. Is this bag a CoF? I mean, I kinda think it would be... but I am sooo tired of my back hurting all the time and paring down isn't an option.
punkerplus
I think in a colour other than the one it comes up with - no. I'm a great believer in comfort and usually use a huge eastpak rucksack. Are you thinking for work? What do you do?

Then again I wear docs with minidresses and have benn known to wear leggings, so maybe you shouldn't listen to me. Shrug.
theredhead
Last night at Cheeseburger in Paradise (yes, owned by none other than Jimmy Buffet - and yes, I realize the Cs of F probably flow like cheap tropical drinks there):

Woman in her mid-20s wearing thin white linen pants with NO undies. The reason I know she was wearing NO undies is because I could see her WHOLE undies-less ass through the back of the pants. It was disturbing, to say the least. I only saw her from the back, but I cannot imagine the view from the front was any less obscene.

Or, as the Boy said, "Isn't it a little scary to know that there's just a very thin piece of linen separating all of us from her business?"
punkerplus
I completely forgot about this one from yesterday. I saw a woman that my first boyfriend cheated on me with. I felt closure by the fact she had half her hair up in a ponytail (which i personally think is quite a childish hairstyle anyway) but the bottom half which would usually be down, she had separated into two plaited pigtails. Really. She looked so stupid. I didn't even notice the rest of her outfit.

QUOTE
Or, as the Boy said, "Isn't it a little scary to know that there's just a very thin piece of linen separating all of us from her business?"


Never a truer thing been said.
bklynhermit
possum, i was just noticing that bag in the LL Bean catalogue the other day and asking myself that same question.

i don't think the shape itself is all that bad, so i'd say get it, but in black. the thing is (and i haven't read the description of exactly how big it is), it looks like it holds a lot less than a normal backpack. it doesn't look like it would hold books, notepads, a laptop computer, or any of the bigger/heavier things that divide the backpack crowd from the handbag/purse crowd. so while it might be easier on the back than a backpack is, it doesn't look like it serves the same function that a backpack does. don't know if that helps at all.
doodlebug
possum, I think the bag is fine, but if it were me, I'd probably get the black one....though I like the berry one....it's just that the black would go with more of my things! (Plus doing a "questionable" item in black usually makes it seem "less questionable.")

By the way, I love your snooch atavar! I *heart* snooch!
raisingirl
Ugh, Possum, I've seen that bag in black in person and honestly it's not much better looking, IMHO. But if your back is hurting, who cares about committing a CoF? Tough call.
possum
Yeah, I dunno. I've seen only one younger person with that bag, and she was dressed OK so it didn't look bad really. I've tried backpack bags, but they're a pain 'cause I have to reach around for keys, cell, etc. The LLBean bag has a side pocket so I could grab them.

I don't need it to hold books and a laptop... just everyday purse crap, along with notepad and daily planner.

Messenger style bags don't fly 'cause they still pull at my shoulders.

Maybe I could put buttons or something on it to punk it out? Hmm. I could look at it as a fashion challenge... to decriminalize a potential CoF.

Fuck, I feel like I'm living a scene in Clueless.

(yes Doodlebug, I love Snooch! Your black kitty is gorgeous too... I have a black kitty as well!)
bklynhermit
what about a timbuk2?

though before i recommend wholeheartedly i have to admit that mine was a gift and i have no idea how much they cost. also, they are more sporty-hip than stylish-elegant. so if the downtown casual look isn't you, the LL Bean might be better.

timbuk2 are the messenger bags the bike messengers use. the strap is fully adjustable, so you can either make it super long or super short. i sling mine across my chest and tighten, so my shoulders, chest, and side (obliques? what are those muscles called?) do more work than my back. they also come with a strap that connects at your waist -- it's made to secure it tightly while on a bike or doing other high-impact activities, but it also helps take the pressure of your back. you can get them in a ton of different sizes and colors, and they have all kinds of nice organizy things inside, for instance a clip on the end of a long cord for your keys, so you can find them easily when they inevitably sink to the bottom of the pouch.

sorry, can't say enough about my timbuk2 bag... and no, i'm not a stealth marketer. it just seems like it would fill a lot of the same functions, without looking so soccer mom.
Buster_Love
QUOTE(walkingbitch @ Jul 14 2006, 01:02 PM) *

Last night I was in Queens Center Mall, buying a schweet swatch watch, but never mind that....

WHAT THE HELL PEOPLE?
I saw more strangled, gasping for air vaginas walking around than I care to even joke about. Can't they feel that there is a freaking SEAM cleaving their cleft further into two? I mean, come on, yes there is a sometimes occasional camel toe happening especially in thinner material soft weaves, sometimes, what I refer to Camel Toe at Rest occurs, when one can't help that their noni has started eating the crotch of their pants, shorts etc, when they sit down, but seeing as this is usually just seen by the offender when looking down into their own lap, I am assured, as when it happens to myself, that you raise yer ass a bit, tug at the thigh material and give some air there.

The other thing. Roots. I admit, I am currently an offender. But seeing that it is summer and the fucked up highlight job that I got done on stripped hair, (yeah not reccomended), am I really at fault for my now broze / orange/ sunin looking shaded chunks of ass my hair is, when I can't even think of dyeing it for the next 3 months? I have however an inch or two of roots. BUT when your hair is half spaghetti looking highlighted orange blonde and brown and the new "growth" is 6-7 inches? Don't flop that shit up in one of those twisted up messy clipped updo things. It looks like you went into Claire's Boutique and bought your black hair self a fake hair clippie for halloween.

I knew a girl in high school who trapped herself into having her roots showing. She died her hair jet black, then later decided she didn't want it that way anymore. She tried dying her hair over the black to avoid having her hair two different colors as it grew out, but the black overpowered any other color she tried to use to cover it, so she just kept her hair black throughout high school. I saw her again recently, with a different color of hair. (I don't know if it was her natural color or not.) Anyway, I asked her the obvious question, and she said that she finally bit the bullet and just let her roots show as a different color until the offending hair was gone.

If anyone here has this problem, another possible solution is to start using hair dye that washes out in the shower until all of the hair with the permanent hair dye grows out. Then, you can wash out the temporary hair dye and have your color change all at once. I have no idea how much hair dye costs, so it may be too expensive to be practical, especially if you wash your hair every day. Note that it is recommended that you wash your hair only twice a week, since excessively frequent washing can damage hair.
mornington
possum, have you tried wonderbag? they do a similar shape, in black leather - mum has one and she looooves it. But in the end, your health vs. CoF? Your health every time.

It's super-hot and humid here, and there are lots of women walking around in bikini tops instead of teeshirts - but my absolute favourite was the girl I saw wearing a red racer-back (fine), tatty flip-flops (oo-kay) and a very very very short pair of red towelling shorts. Every time she took a step you could see her arse-end sticking out the bottom. Yes, she had faaaaar better legs than me, but really... it wasn't neccessary in central london.
sybarite
What is it with the towelling this summer? Yesterday at Tesco (supermarket chain) I saw three teenaged girls, two of them in terry towelling all-in-one short suits. Strapless, in yellow and orange respectively. You think maybe they go shopping together? tongue.gif
punkerplus
Ugh, I must say I am wilting today but it is no excuse for red towelling shorts, towelling anything, or the crimes I saw today.

This one girl really got me though. Stereotypical chav. Rolled up beige trackpants (which you could see her half ass-eaten underwear through), beige polo shirt, which she was wearing half off half on, so one arm was in the sleeve and being worn properly, and the other arm wasn't and so the top was just bunched over her shoulder with her bra on view to everyone. It was so bizarre.

I saw this in the bus station. I just don't get it.
mornington
I saw another girl on the tube today in towelling shorts. urgh. khaki green ones. They just looked... manky.

punker, that is bizarre. I've seen a girl like that. It wasn't pretty.
possum
Errr, what is toweling? Methinks that's what we call terry cloth in the US. smile.gif

Mornington, I'd never heard of Wonderbag... I did a Google search and it looks like they're mainly UK.

Bklyn, I've tried timbuk2 also. I've tried every bag on earth. No matter how I adjust the messenger styles, they still pull my shoulder down after awhile and it aches, and makes me slouch forward, hence making my whole back ache.

I really don't carry a lot; I just can't carry anything on my back for a good length of time without muscles aching. It's mainly an issue on weekends when I'm out and about. The older I get (34 in a few weeks!) the more I lean towards practicality, though I don't wanna be a frump ass...
mornington
yup, that's it. the stuff you make bath towels out of.
ms.gb
ok i got one....as we were going to a greek party...i saw this while we were stopped at a light in downtown fullerton.

cute girl but i thought this as a wee bit whacked...

cute flats...
cute green knee length a-line peasant skirt

and then the odd part...

a fluffy-ish peasant cami(?)in white and then she had a big belt on and then a cardigan.

separately..i am sure they would be adorable...together.....she looked like a hollyhocks doll....or something 70's....
candycane_girl
I was picking my mom up from work today (she works at a hospital). As I was sitting in the car waiting for her a man walked by.

He had a beer belly and man boobs, I knew this for sure because he wasn't wearing a shirt. Then he had on these ugly green shorts with what looked to be a rat tail comb stuck in the side of them. The shorts were just low enough so that some of his lower back/ass hair was starting to peak through. He also had on calf high socks, and black running shoes. Oh, and how could I forget the black mullet?
ginger_kitty
I saw a woman walking down Main St. in the downtown area of my city, wearing a floral moomoo! I haven't seen a moomoo in years!

(Well I take that back, my mother in law and grandmother in law wear them but only at night in there home, never in public.)
mornington
Lady in a lime green two-piece suit. Lime freakin' green. From head to toe. It also clashed with her pink and blue check handbag. She was wearing a big floral kaftan and white trousers today.

Tubby man with hairy belly and moobs. Not wearing a shirt. gah. I know it's hot people, but central london is not the beach. Put it away, for all our sakes.
punkerplus
The heatwave is brilliant for bringing out the crimes isn't it? Today I saw a woman in white mum shorts. Just imagine it.

And a woman with a short mullet, and had put the short straggly bits in the tiniest ponytail in the world, which was engulfed by the glittery scrunchie holding it.
plynn
This morning I saw a rather large man, dressed in standard-issue slob gear. You know, gray sweatpants with elastic at the ankles, huge white t-shirt with stains, cheap white puffy sneakers with athletic socks. What really made the outfit, though, was the fannypack (or, for the Brits, bumbag) (and get your mind out the gutter).

Instead wearing it around back as g-d intended, he had it up front, cinched under his belly, so it looked exactly like an extra scrotum.

Even better, the main area had a large reflective patch, probably to allow for better visibility at night. It was one of the hardcore 3M reflective patches that really work - they seem to bounce light off at twice the original intensity.

So, basically, this man had a big reflective patch on his subsitute scrotum, and I got to see him in the morning as he walked east, with the full power of the morning sun making his junk glow like a beacon. It was like he was trying harness the mighty power of his crotch to rescue wayward sailors in a storm...
sixelacat
oh, dear lord, plynn, I just about spat coffee all over the computer reading that! Too funny!!
auralpoison
It is sad when bad outfits happen to good people. Last night: Cute twenty-something, adorable accessories wearing a drapey, salmon coloured tunic with a DEEP vee. The thing reached mid thigh & the vee was at her navel. The back was open the same way, but there was a string tie at mid back. Underneath it a brown unitard/capri tights thing (I am assuming that it was all one piece.) that ended mid calf. Over that a raw hemmed denim mini. Brown flipflops.
maimy
Sometimes, it's not the fashion, it's the venue.

Today, outside the ER at the city's busiest, poorest, and most experimental teaching hospital:

She was 25-30, lovely curving figure, and clearly she had some taste. The dress was a very well-cut strapless white cotton sundress, just-past-knee length. The shoes weren't a good material (faux pink/white alligator with black piping), but I could forgive their cut, which would have worked with the surgically-white dress in a different color.

But ...

A surgically white dress at a hospital, which looks by far more sensible if you're out for an important date on a Saturday night ... somehow really does not work at all at 2:00 in the afternoon on a Wednesday, surrounded by the traumatized patients and visitors of a busy Emergency Room.

I know there's every possibility she was WITH a patient, of course.

But I still can't figure out how that dressy look came out of the closet before, say, eight p.m. in the first place ...
doodlebug
Oh dear. I saw this one whilst driving past, and I had to describe each item out loud in the car so I would remember them.

Middle-aged man wearing: red baseball cap, red t-shirt tucked in, orangey-tan fishing vest...which all would have been okay for a mid-week summer afternoon stroll down to the corner for a pack of Rothmans...but then he added: baggy shorts with a wild BLUE pattern (and not jammers, either; they ended at mid-thigh), laundry-faded black socks pulled ALL THE WAY UP to just below the knee, and some kind of tannish-brown sport shoe.

Another case of Bathroom Cabinet Mirror Syndrome, I think.

People of my homeland! You can buy a full-length mirror at Canadian Tire for under ten bucks! One purple bill with Sir John A. MacDonald on it - that's all it takes...I mean, heck, it costs you almost that for a single pack of Rothmans now, anyway...
llamas
Yet another case of Bathroom Cabinet Mirror Syndrome last evening, I fear:
Blonde woman of indeterminate age, wearing a matching aqua tshirt and knit shorts set, with black 3-inch- heeled dress maryjanes. Triple-take in the Target parking lot!
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