Apr 22 2006, 05:23 PM
1) woman in trendy ice-cream shop wearing pajama bottoms with ralph lauren polo player logos all over them. trying to impress the guy that joined her (brown hair longish, bandanna on his head, gold wire rimmed glasses) by making fun of me for nodding to the funky rap music that was getting blasted over our heads, prompting me to say to my boyfriend "Bob! I sure wish I wore my designer pajamas today!"
Then, as I was going to work and headed up the stairs of the subway, a heavy, sticky honeysuckle scent came down, which I realized was not the actual plant but the perfume of the bright-red-from-head to toe-wearing, hideously blondined woman ahead of me.
My eyes focused on her boots, which were like the heavy duty biker/engineer boots that are being knocked off by designers now for a lot more money, except they had the straps and ring along with a wobbly kitten heel and a fringed tassel on the outside edge of each foot, AND were too short to be the real thing -- neither knee nor ankle length but that very unflattering in between length.
And what looked to be cheap fake leather because they were very thick and had huge wrinkles swarming in every direction all over it. the topper was when she got to my building, plopped herself on a ledge outside, and started blowing out puffs of smoke between her very red lips with an arrogant air, and showing her badly cropped, bleach damaged, black at the roots boy crop hair.
She gave me this look like "I am the shit!!"
It's like -- yes, you certainly are.
Apr 22 2006, 07:26 PM
i am reporting myself.
when i'm in a time pinch i usually just don't care at all what i'm wearing but this was horrible, even for me.
get your mental eyeballs ready for a fright site. ready? ok...
bright green terry fleece track pants, the low-waisted fitted kind, with one back pocket and white piping down the sides. white shirt with navy raglan sleeves and an unknown band logo. sweater hoodie of red, blue and grey stripes. black fun fur winter coat with huge hairy collar. tan sandals with the toe thingy, you know the kind, that neccesitated red yellow orange and blue toe socks that only have one toe pocket for the big toe. in hot pink, the toe pocket that is. i don't even know what to call that outfit. what can i say? i was in a big hurry and it was colder out than i thought. i layered up in what was handy.
AND not only was i out in public in this get up, i had to stop by my work (at the BANK!!!) to pick up something that i forgot. yes, the bank manager and my co-workers saw me, yes, they think that i am a lunatic. so do i.
Apr 23 2006, 08:52 AM
Pepper, I bet you still looked better than the visitor from planet Whatthefuck we saw at our local Starschmuck's last night...
-Red/orange and tan mid-80's high-top puffy Nike's
-billowy pj-like PATCHWORK pants looking like they were DIYed out of children's day-glo comic book curtains. All in shades of neon orange and hot pink and red.
-Tie-dyed tee coloured--you guessed it!--dayglo orange
-manic-panicked fire engine red hair in no discernable style
-mid 90's Dr. Suess hippy fuckwit hat.
My husband and I could only sit in openmouthed wonder at the person who would have worn this out of the house. Or even in it, for that matter.
Apr 23 2006, 09:06 AM
Aw maims...you make me feel so special!
Apr 23 2006, 09:56 AM
pepper, i actually thought you had a decent outfit going before the funfur coat and toe socks w/ sandals. which couldn't be helped considering it was inexplicably cold out.
and bustygirl, wow. where does one even get that stuff? that's, like, a whole new level of sartorial insanity. one that clearly involves premeditation (the intensive color coordinating with hair to match) AND at home craft projects (tie-dyed tee, DIY patchwork pants). wow.
hippies gone wrong is my favorite genre of COF, definitely. that, and little old ladies who seem confused about what decade it is and what sorts of clothes are generally available in stores. my all time favorite is a woman in her mid sixties dressed to the nines in Jackie O style as if it is still 1964 and she is still 25 years old. including a cheap black dye job that has faded to purple, AND bright blue eyeshadow, bright red lipstick, and FALSE EYELASHES.
wow. this was from a few years ago, but wow.
Apr 23 2006, 10:31 AM
I just about died when I saw this
(see the bottom row of photos). So when MEN do shit like this, they're just called "free-spirited"??
Apr 23 2006, 10:55 AM
Apr 23 2006, 03:37 PM
The third guy (bottom row) looks like Don Knotts!!!!
Apr 23 2006, 03:47 PM
HC...it's all the same guy..over a 10 day period...yuck!
Apr 23 2006, 04:44 PM
i'm not sure whether to run in fear or stand, point, and laugh.
Apr 23 2006, 05:11 PM
i love the fact that he does kilts. and in the same plaids as his pants. so practical, that...
Apr 23 2006, 06:40 PM
LOL - "Observed over a 10-day period, Mr. Upadhya takes plaids to a stare-thee-well." We SO have to co-opt the phrase "stare-thee-well".
Apr 24 2006, 08:55 AM
That said, some of the suit up top are SHARP, particularly on the two on the right. Sharp, indeed.
I sometimes miss men in sharp suits and good hats. Of course, there's always our dear Speedy.
Apr 24 2006, 09:45 AM
That's the same guy...?
So it is! Wow!
Apr 24 2006, 12:26 PM
I kinda like it...it reminds me of Malcolm McLaren and that whole 80s kind of vibe. Then I think of Adam Ant and all that fancy London stuff back then...oversized, acid-colored, loopy-knit sweaters on Johnny Rotten...and I just like it. He's dapper!
Sure I'd laugh if I saw him walking down the street, but I'd love to have dinner with him. And he knows people are laughing.
Apr 24 2006, 01:12 PM
last nite at dinner with the inlaws..we were talking about uncle B's trip in florida...and how a crime of fashion he was partaking in in had flocked unwanted attentions from male passerby on the beach...imagine...bright turquoise short shorts....with purple and green neon aqua socks. he had to get a new outfit to avoid all the 'attention' he was getting. hehehehehehehe.
Apr 24 2006, 05:19 PM
Hey, I'm with you guys. At least he's doing it *on purpose* I mean, wasn't the point of dyeing your hair crayon box colors : "Why make a fake color try to look 'natural'?"
Apr 25 2006, 04:59 AM
It's officially SPRING, right?
At the gas station yesterday:
Navy blue t-shirt with some cool looking logo on it. (cool enough)
COMBAT STYLE KNEE-HIGH BOOTS in some funky orangey-reddish brown, with a zipper going right up the sides. (full combat sole-extra thick)
GAUCHOS--THICK winter weight GREENISH TAN ones, with a CUFF at the bottom.
Apr 25 2006, 11:32 AM
i have seen several women lately wearing dark (navy or brown) pants with a striped shirt tucked in and a white skinny belt. it's not a flattering look. i don't understand why it seems to be everywhere all of a sudden.
the guy in the plaid suits seems to be really confident. i mean, why else would you leave the house looking like that???
Apr 25 2006, 12:21 PM
I would like to report my roommate. She's a great girl. Has some great clothing and 90% of the time is well dressed. Enviable even. She has animal print under control and wears it well. But then she goes and puts on the loose, hangy, ass feeding gauchos. Or what about her dresses that look more like nightgowns. Last night I could have sworn I walked into the Grease sleepover scene only to realize it was not Sandy at the kitchen table but my roommate just getting home from work... in a white dress with a sparse pattern of small pink flowers... I wanted to touch the thing to make sure it wasn't flannel because it was so worn it looked like flannel. Not to mention the elastic arm band and ruffles.
Apr 27 2006, 01:20 PM
Oh, man. I didn't see this actually on anyone, but goddess-willing I soon will. We all know that cargo pants had their day, and, in some construction/camping circles, remain necessary. However, I saw a pair of linen pants in a boutique window yesterday that I just might have to go take a picture of just so I can post it. Elastic waist, midcalf length, with huge saddlebag-like elastic-top pockets beginning mid-hip and continuing down to just about below-the-knee.
They are ghastly and I hope hope hope I see someone wearing them.
Apr 28 2006, 03:20 AM
mm-mm, they sure sound tasty, luci
I'm seeing more and more gauchos on the streets of london. The girl wearing them wasn't large by any means, but they just made her ass look huuuuuuge. And the flat shoes? Milk-bottle ankles!
they will not learn that gauchos only ever look "good" if you're skinny as kate moss
and also my friend's gf: capri-length jeans, black trainer things... and pale blue ankle socks. I wanted to shake her and go "you're a sweetly pretty girl, you're past teenage, stop dressing like a mid-ninties thirteen-year-old".
Apr 28 2006, 06:55 AM
I know, mornington- I've seen a few women at work wearing gauchos, women of all sizes, and besides the fact that no one seems to know what tops and shoes to pair them with, they make their asses look awful. The worst was actually a woman who was quite slim, but has a bit of an ass on her...the gauchos she was wearing were made out of some kind of loose, stretchy, flouncy material and it was really obvious that she was either going commando or wearing a thong because there was nothing supporting her butt and this fabric just bounced around her butt with every step. It was ridiculous!
Apr 28 2006, 07:28 AM
First of all, quietmadness, your girl was a pair of oversized rhinestone sunglasses and rainbow suspenders away from Elton John's turn as the Pinball Wizard in Tommy. Truly frightening.
Second. Guachos. Let's see, let's take the widest part of the body, pull that width down to mid calf, ever widening on the way down, and stick some eensy little bird feet on the end. Oh, and just to salt the wounds, make them the most camel toe inducing, jello booty giving pants in the whole wide world. Is a damn James Bond villain behind fashion trends these days?
Apr 28 2006, 09:32 AM
oooh, i've got one. spotted at work yesterday: blonde femmullet, with mall bangs and the back divided into two braids, a la pippi longstocking.
and the outfit: a cream colored sweater and khaki ankle-length skirt that did nothing for her. and black flat shoes that looked awful with the skirt. owie.
Apr 28 2006, 02:39 PM
today's sighting. not sure if it's actually of CoF or just plain wierd but...
young male, mid-twenties. orange big-knit cotton jumper... you know, the fisherman-y ones. Blue trackpants. Khaki grey multi-pocket handyman coat with zip-off sleeves removed.
silver-threaded grey cotton women's scarf wrapped around his head.
i was completely bemused
Apr 28 2006, 07:44 PM
Polly, you are a stone cold riot. *Grin*
Apr 29 2006, 05:03 PM
what the fuck is up with the hideous brightly colored gardening clogs with holes in them?
someone please explain this disgusting trend to me because I just don't get it!
Apr 29 2006, 05:35 PM
missladyj - I have some that I bought years ago, before they got "way cool" and I got them through an outdoor outfitter for when I kayak and canoe. They float, so I can see 'em if they get away from me, and they are good for getting about in the water and clean up right easily..... no soggy tennis shoes and sox, YUCK! BUT, for the life of me, I can not figure out why everyone in the world is now sporting them as a fashion statement! Is the world just that full of kayaking nature buffs, or have I missed something too? I do wear mine about but I am kind of guilty of always dressing for an outdoor adventure..... I usually end up in some creek or lake or river anyway, no matter where I am.
Apr 29 2006, 07:22 PM
ohhhh woman, kind of large, khaki colored mom jeans that made her ass look huge, white shirt, and the kicker-white patent leather clunky heels and WHITE socks you could see cause her pants were too short. oy
Apr 30 2006, 12:52 AM
The clogs of which you speak are called Crocs. I wear them almost every day to work, but in black and not some bright-as-fuck color. They are lightweight, let yr feets breathe, and I am on my feet most of the day and they're still very comfortable and provide good arch support (no small feat for my uber high arches).
So there. I wear 'em. I am debating getting a soft pink pair.
Apr 30 2006, 06:35 AM
Khaki pants in general give the appearance of donkey butt. I wonder why that is? Is it the chino cut? The color? And the fact that most people wear them in pleats, well, that just makes the situation all the worse. That said, le garcon's bff wears them all the time, but I've been good about not referring to him as "pig butt" in a while.
I decree that all khakis worn must be constructed as flattering flat front. So it is said, so it is done.
(if only it were that easy)
Apr 30 2006, 08:18 AM
they're also good for chefs, nurses, and anyone who's required to wear some sort of clog for work.
my opinion on them is this -- if you're wearing them for a purpose (canoeing, being a line cook, an on-your-feet job, etc.) super. get whatever color you want. do what you have to do.
but as a fashion statement? no. it would be like wearing chef's whites or hospital scrubs out to dinner.
Apr 30 2006, 09:28 AM
those shoes are so ugly. the bank manager wears them in bright lime green Every day. what a fashion statement. i just don't care how comfy they are, they're unforgivable.
Apr 30 2006, 09:40 AM
yeah, bank manager definitely falls into my "no" category.
i thought banks were supposed to be conservative wrt dress?
Apr 30 2006, 03:43 PM
No. More. Sequined. Bags.
Apr 30 2006, 08:02 PM
Apr 30 2006, 08:51 PM
Oh yuck, I hate those sequined bags too. And most khakis, but mainly because it seems that most people who buy them do not to not buy the flat-front kind. (And don't even get me started on pleated trousers. Is there anyone who actually looks good in them?)
Tonight at Trader Joe's:
woman in her late 20's
--black platform flip-flops with the thong part covered in sequins
--medium green gauchos
--blue-green bulky, cable-knit cardigan (keep in mind that it's around 90 degrees outside)
--olive green shirt underneath the cardigan, couldn't tell if it was a tank top or a t-shirt
--gigantic sunglasses that she left on the entire time she was in the store
-- faded camoflauge cap
--cell phone stuck to her ear that was so small it looked like she was talking into her wrist
It looked like she was trying to match everything, but she kinda failed
Apr 30 2006, 09:54 PM
Fuuuuck, I hate those small cell phone things (I guess they're Bluetooths) that clip to your ear. I am so sick of seeing people walking around with those damned things. Looks like a little cockroach. No one needs to be hooked up to a thing like that. Your job or life is just not that important. Your children will not perish because your cell phone rings one extra ring while you dig it out of your purse. Nor will you die from holding your phone to your ear, unless you're a dumbass who can't talk and drive at the same time, in which case an ear clip phone isn't going to help you much anyway.
Apr 30 2006, 10:34 PM
there is no excuse for those clogs w/ the holes in 'em. they could have made them look a lot cooler and be functional as well. and how expensive are they???
Apr 30 2006, 11:17 PM
That was another thing that annoyed me about the CoF, she was talking into her phone the entire time and didn't even stop when she went through the checkout. I almost ran into her a couple times.
I think those clogs are fairly cheap, around $30 or so. There are knockoffs at Target for around $10. I agree with brlynhermit--they're fine if you're on your feet, but not as a fashion statement.
(There was an episode of WNTW with someone who did wear hospital scrubs as a fashion statement, even though she didn't work in a hospital or clinic. It did look really bizarre.)
May 1 2006, 06:54 AM
I know, Possum- my friend has one of those and he says he's so used to it, he just forgets it's there. I had to ask him to take it off on Friday when we all went out to dinner (at a fancy restuarant, though I probably would have asked him no matter where we went!) He's a computer consultant and has a lot of clients who call him at all hours of the day, and here in Chicago, it's illegal to drive while using a hand-held phone, so you have to use some sort of hands free device.
I still think they're really annoying though. Reminds me of an old Ray Romano stand up skit, where he's talking about how cell phones and stuff will just become part of our bodies someday (this is like a 12-year-old skit, long before Everybody Loves Raymond, so it's really becoming more and more true since then!) and he's talking about how we'll just talk to people in our head, and guess where faxes will come out?!?! It's a very visual joke, so describing it does no justice.
May 1 2006, 12:30 PM
there is a version of those shoes made by berkenstock that are fairly pricey (compared to the holey ones), heavier and more durable and used to be used by kitchen staff. they proctect feet from dropped knives, hot stuff etc. those holey clogs would do Nothing to protect your feet from anything. their only function is to be hideously un-stylie.
and yes, the bank is supposed to be conservative dress. go figure.
May 1 2006, 03:18 PM
I mostly see the clogs on suburban high school girls who are not gardening or going kyaking they were the m strictly as a fashion statement and they are ugly
i have also never understood birkenstocks. i dont care how comfortable they are, they are still ugly and take those wool socks off while yer at it!
May 1 2006, 03:44 PM
*dusts self off after being knocked off her birkenstocks*
May 1 2006, 05:38 PM
oh luci, i understand. they are wicked comfy are they not? i still wouldn't be seen out in public in them though, and i'm the one that goes out in her pjs (or whatever awful combo of junk might have been on the floor from the night before).
May 1 2006, 05:51 PM
luci - oooohhhh.... i lurve me some birks! very sad right now that last landlord decided to "clean out" my house before i actually moved out (before lease was up) and threw away 2 pairs ($300.00 worth!)
no serious COF's to report, and that's surprising considering where I live!
May 1 2006, 06:14 PM
I love my birks too, but I'm tired of clomping around in them, so I'm getting some cute Born sandals for this summer. But I agree, they shouldn't be worn with socks (I wear them with socks at home, but not in public!)
May 1 2006, 06:29 PM
polly - which ones you gonna get?
i like SERIS, MECCA, FLUKE, MOMA
COF - just now in parking lot of my apt.... woman wearing red velvet type stretch pants, brown cowboy boots with teal flowers, oversized t-shirt with sparkley design? and brown loosely crocheted long cardigan worn open....... also had big blonde hair..... very bad.....
May 1 2006, 08:31 PM
Those are nice, voodoo, but I'm going even more minimalist with Panormo
. I'll get them in brown, though.