This morning I started the day by clogging the toilet, which, when I flushed it, overflowed onto the bathroom floor. When I came home tonight, there was dogshit on the living room carpet in three different places, so I cleaned that. Then I unclogged the toilet, which was great fun, seeing as everything had been sitting there for the past 11 hours.
My unclogging of the toilet was observed by Sula and her friend Sean, who lives next door. The thoughts running through my head as I stuck the plunger into the bowels (ha ha!) of the toilet were aptly articulated by these two little 4-year-olds:
"What are you doing with that thing? You're putting it in there?! Ew, that's disgusting! GROSS! Get me out of here!!"
My day wasn't only shitty from a literal perspective--I had this stupid recurring head cold, complete with a headache and inflamed taste bud (I always get those when I'm run down/sick), mixed with the same horrendous allergies I've been having since we moved to Ventura, until about 12, then it faded a little and I just felt really exhausted and unmotivated to work. Actually, I felt depressed about work, because it's so busy all the time and what I really want to do is make mobiles and write and draw, but I managed to get through the day without too much emotional eating and made it home by 6:30, which is amazing.
Johnny did some grocery shopping tonight and he glued the side view mirror back onto the car, which I hope will work and not send it flying into someone's windshield tomorrow morning on the way to SB, and he did some dishes and walked the dogs. He also told me calmly and kindly, when I said I was stressed about his alcoholism, that I could tell him anything and that he'd listen, and it made me feel a lot better.
The other night, by the way, he made me a really nice dinner: stuffed chile rellenos with Spanish rice. I was impressed that he undertook such an adventurous recipe--I think I'd have been daunted by the deep-frying aspect of the chile rellenos. It was very sweet and it made me feel loved and cared for.
I wanted to say, since I talked about this a couple weeks ago, that our "romantic life" has been picking up, probably due in part to my being pregnant (if I could use another word than "horny," I would, because it conjures up images of skinny teenage boys and toads, but unfortunately I don't know many acceptable synonyms for it) but also due to the fact that we've been doing better (ok, since Saturday afternoon) and I personally want to make an effort to satisfy that side of our life together. I feel great right now, totally happy with Johnny and certain in the knowledge that I don't want anyone but him, and it's so good--so good--to be feeling this way. It gives me renewed hope in us as a couple and it's just a relief, a huge relief, after last week's drama and unhappiness.
It's late and that annoys me because I wanted to start writing about other, new stuff tonight--about my past, or my parents, or Sula, whom I've written so little about, actually. I guess it will have to wait till tomorrow.
P.S. Yes, I'm totally motherfucking pimping myself here. Want more? Please come to http://roniadarc.blogspot.com