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roseviolet
I've never been a popular girl. I'm usually that kinda quiet, geeky girl sitting in the front row taking excellent notes on the lecture. And occasionally writing notes to my best friend, but never arousing suspicion from my teachers because, ya know, that Rose is such a sweet, innocent little thing! laugh.gif

The Lounge is letting me create threads now. So where shall the experiment reside? Right here in Ladies Who Lounge? Or down in As The World Turns?
yuefie
I think most people don't want to jump in and run the risk of being labeled one of the meanies. It's why my message box overfloweth, but only a select few have actually voiced their specific displeasure with her particular antics. But at some point we need solidarity, if we are to minimize the frequency of people like her perpetrating these unprompted attacks and character assassinations.

Hey, if I have to be labeled a mean girl, then so be it. I have every right to defend myself and others against a bully. Doesn't make me wrong, or one of the popular girls for having others who agree with me. Never been the prom queen, never will be.

Bullies feed on the discord they cause, so Tes is right, she is getting exactly what she wants with all the attention she is being paid. But, cutting it off at the knees is easier said than done. People do have the right to be made aware of a particular member who repeatedly attacks others for unknown reasons other than their own inferiority/persecution complex or their need for superiority.

ETA: Rose, I would vote for here in Ladies Who Lounge, since it's a subject that concerns the board as a whole, like CF. But that's just my two cents wink.gif


bunnyb
Funnily enough my inbox floweth over too, but that's because I AM one of the popular girls (a lifetime of being bullied by insecure brats assures me that I am).

I will hold my hands up and apologise for suggesting that some that don't see wombat for what she is are a deluded minority but I'm frustrated at how she has manipulated people and that some others are blinkered. This isn't because I have a personal disagreement with or simply don't like her but because the attacks she is making left, right and centre are downright nasty and insidious and that she is breeding unhealthy negativity across the lounge.

eta: I agree to that the discord has been achieved; the brewing brouhaha in the MA thread has seen to that.
treehugger
Ummm...I lean more toward ATWT...just because this area, to me, and I'd wager to quite a few other busties, gets overlooked.

But I'll go with the majority, of course! I am so anti-confrontational!

Although, i have to say that if there were a thread dedicated to it i think i'd be more likely to "have somebody's back".

i hesitate to step into these pickles because i feel it's not my place....


Meh.

and i'm right now fighting the temptation to just delete this post without posting it, so i'll go ahead and post before i change my mind.

eta: i've read the archives. i'm not blinkered.
yuefie
Good point treehugger.

And I am glad you left your post. Anti-confrontational or not, everyones input is necessary and valued. I wouldn't want this to be about popularity or who's taking who's side. It's simply about bullying and unwarranted attacks not being acceptable practice around here.

bunnyb
Oh treehugger, I'm not suggesting you are (and I now seem to be the one who is pissing everyone off left, right and centre sad.gif ) but there are several posters who are unaware of what's going on, who are making assumptions about it and several who don't realise that wombat/whammy bar are one in the same and when they do realise are commenting that it makes so much sense.

*vows never to use terms "blinkered", "deluded" and "minority/majority/bulk"
roseviolet
Well, I went ahead and started it here in Ladies Who Lounge. Sorry I didn't see your post earlier, Treehugger!
Take It Outside: The Thread for Derailments and Disagreements
treehugger
QUOTE(bunnyb @ Feb 5 2007, 03:03 PM) *

Oh treehugger, I'm not suggesting you are (and I now seem to be the one who is pissing everyone off left, right and centre sad.gif ) but there are several posters who are unaware of what's going on, who are making assumptions about it and several who don't realise that wombat/whammy bar are one in the same and when they do realise are commenting that it makes so much sense.

*vows never to use terms "blinkered", "deluded" and "minority/majority/bulk"




NO, NO, NO,....I didn't mean to give the impression that i was feeling accused. I'm just saying that i see what everybody's referring with regards to the past history of that poster. Even though i haven't really posted about it before now.

and, no, before all this happened i didn't know that whammybar was wombat.

bunnyb, no you didn't piss me off. one of the downfalls of typewritten speech i guess.

i like the "take it outside" thread. smile.gif
turbojenn
I'd vote for putting this in ATWT as well, just because that seems like a more general spot for discussion, and honestly, I rarely venture into threads in LWL.

ETA: Ah well, too late, but thanks Rosie for getting the ball rolling!! And thanks to the countless busties who've been speaking up on this one...its more than frustrating, and its more than an ignore button alone can handle...sometimes it just takes a community effort!
mornington
I've been trying to come up with something, but I'm afraid it's not going to come out right.

I don't think I've ever had a major personal issue with wombat/whammy, but I have to say that I have read a lot of hurtful remarks with her name on it. I love the idea of this new thread for more public arguments, but I really hope it doesn't turn into a fight-fest with everyone making personal - and needlessly cruel - remarks. Perhaps if you - and I mean this in the sense of whomever - have an issue with a post made by another BUSTie, it could be kept to PM first; for example if you think X has made a post that's needlessly inflammatory/cruel, pm them politely and give them a chance to edit thier post. if they keep it, or take offense, then for all means pick a fight. I hope that makes sense. Also, I know a lot of the threads in the F-word can get out-of-hand... and it puts people off from participating in conversation in there. Would it be possible to agree to try to keep the name-calling, aggressive and overly-confrontational comments to a minimum? Please? Again, take it to PM or the argument thread if you want to have a shouting match... and let everyone else carry on.

But basically, yay the new thread and I hope that while this hasn't been the pleasantest of days, it's helped clear the air.
bunnyb
My concern is that the Take it Outside thread will devolve into chaos and become nasty and hurtful whilst the remainder of the lounge exist in cosy ignorance (I am *trying* to reign in my snarkiness). Not for one moment do I think that all issues will be resolved and we'll all be singing kumbaya around the BUST campfire (whilst toasting nutella covered marshmallows) but I don't want it to be open ground for people to hurl abuse. Then again, I've already proposed a zero tolerance policy when it comes to ugly cursing directed at other BUSTies.

Saying that, I invite anyone who has issue with me to PM me with their opinions or post it publicly in the Take it Outside thread if they prefer as it is much preferable to indirect, passive-agressive comments about a situation that you know nothing about, and have no interest in knowing about.
raisingirl
QUOTE(yuefie @ Feb 5 2007, 02:17 PM) *

There seems to be a lot of people who were unaware that wombat and whammy_bar are one in the same. Many remember her freak outs under the latter user name. I am not and was not trying to turn people against her, just present the facts so that when she starts her bullying with other BUSTies, as she has proven time and time again she will do, people can make informed decisions on how to deal with her.


I specifically remember it was much, much later after she changed her name that I realized Wombat was Whammy_Bar (and I was a bit surprised, because I hadn't fully made the connection) and she brushed it off as if everyone should just innately know that she had a new name. I think if she wanted to be clear about who she was, she would have made it clear with a short note in her profile, but there never was such a thing. After that incident, I thought she was trying to pull one over on other unsuspecting Lounge members.

Regardless, I'm grateful for the ignore function, so it's all a moot point now anyway. Good riddance.
pollystyrene
Do these porn bots ever go away? Like, is there a way for their Powers That Be to track where their hits are coming from, and since I'm sure not too many people from Bust are clicking on the links, they'll stop posting this crap? So freaking annoying.
turbojenn
Nope, polly, they won't stop. But if the Lounge Lady were to go into her Admin CP, go to "management", then "ban filters" - she could exclude every email address from the domains they typically come from - you just have to spend some time culling the member list, and extracting those email domains to ban them...they're always using something like @please-email-me.pl, or @porn.ru or some shit, and that's how I keep them off the forum I admin which uses the same software. /end forum nerdiness

Do I think we'll get that kind of service here? Nope.
culturehandy
This porn bot is making me want to quit the boards. I have blocked every user, and so far it's been 25. This is getting rediculous. Glad to see the lounge admin actually gives a flying fuck.

Oh wait, it's actually been 30!
LoveMyPugs
Just out of curiousity...do we have an apology thread here on bust? If so can someone please bump it for me or let me know where it is?
bunnyb
we don't, lmp, but it's a very good idea (the thread, not the apology).
yuefie
I agree. Especially since we now have a thread just for disagreements (or arguments). It seems to me an apology thread would be wise.
girltrouble
you couldn't resist, could you bunny? i thought you were smart enough to keep your fucking mouth shut and let it lay, but nope. dumb fuck. you had to speak up and spread your shit.

now i'm a crazy person am i? don't say you weren't warned. but this is what you wanted isn't it? poor, poor bunny. so in need of sympathy. sniff. you brought it on yourself, ass wipe. you could have let it go, but stir the fucking pot.

what are you looking for? huh, you fucking baby? a pm from your friends? is that what you need? some fucking coddling? i warned you not once, not twice, but three fucking times, now if you can't take a fucking hint, then you get to take your fucking medicine.

go ahead. post more about me.

all that shit you talk about whammy, is the same thing you do:

talk shit in different threads in the hopes of getting a tiny bit of sympathy.
you're fucking pathetic. a pathetic fucking hypocrite who's too FUCKING STUPID to know when to SHUT THE FUCK UP. too late. you bit off more than you can chew.

you wanted an enemy. you got one. FUCKING DUMBFUCK. NOW YOU'RE THE FUCKSTAIN.

you wanted it. fucking a-- you got it.

no matter what thread, i am gonna FUCKING HAUNT YOUR SORRY ASS. so i hope you think those little pms you get are worth the fucking grief you get on your doorstep, all cos you had to push me. smart move.
faerietails
QUOTE
you couldn't resist, could you bunny? i thought you were smart enough to keep your fucking mouth shut and let it lay, but nope. dumb fuck. you had to speak up and spread your shit.

now i'm a crazy person am i? don't say you weren't warned. but this is what you wanted isn't it? poor, poor bunny. so in need of sympathy. sniff. you brought it on yourself, ass wipe. you could have let it go, but stir the fucking pot.

what are you looking for? huh, you fucking baby? a pm from your friends? is that what you need? some fucking coddling? i warned you not once, not twice, but three fucking times, now if you can't take a fucking hint, then you get to take your fucking medicine.

go ahead. post more about me.

all that shit you talk about whammy, is the same thing you do:

talk shit in different threads in the hopes of getting a tiny bit of sympathy.
you're fucking pathetic. a pathetic fucking hypocrite who's too FUCKING STUPID to know when to SHUT THE FUCK UP. too late. you bit off more than you can chew.

you wanted an enemy. you got one. FUCKING DUMBFUCK. NOW YOU'RE THE FUCKSTAIN.

you wanted it. fucking a-- you got it.

no matter what thread, i am gonna FUCKING HAUNT YOUR SORRY ASS. so i hope you think those little pms you get are worth the fucking grief you get on your doorstep, all cos you had to push me. smart move.


okay, seriously gt? back off. there's no need to be abusive. i think we've all been seriously pissed at someone at some point throughout our time in the lounge, but escalating it the way you just did is completely uncalled for. no matter what anyone does here, there's no excuse for the behavior you just displayed. none whatsoever.
mouse
there's absolutely no reason for this. please stop.
roseviolet
I agree with Mouse and Faerietailes.
girlygirlgag
Me too, where did that come from?
girltrouble
i told her not to post shit about me. not only did she post about me, she called me crazy. fine. she was warned. 3x. so that's where it came from. and mouse, i think the world of you, and ggg, and farietails, and rosev, but i am sick of this shit. i am tired people starting shit with me, getting in my shit. i gave her fair warning.
mouse
i think the world of you too, gt, and quite frankly while i do admire and like bunny she and i have had our differences in the field of how conflicts are handled before. regardless of what she did, though, and regardless of whether you "warned her", there's no need for you to use this kind of language. it doesn't solve anything, it exacerbates the issue, and it makes people who aren't even involved (i'm speaking for myself here) feel really shitty. if there's a problem, it may be able to be worked through calmly. if not, there's the ignore button.
pixiedust
so proving her right is going to help?
mornington
um, that was uncalled for, GT. Really. Hurling abuse at people isn't going to make others particularly sympathetic, especially when the response was far, far in excess of what was originally said.
ginger_kitty
I don't normally get involved in situations that don't involve me, but things seem to escalating more and more out of control around the lounge. I hate to see such a great place for feminists to come together turn ugly and become tainted with bitterness and hatred.

girltrouble, I don't have a clue what is going on between bunnyb and yourself, and I normally enjoy reading the contributions you make to this forum. Honestly I don't care what ignited, this conflict, your threatnening posts are way out of line! None of the busties deserves to be threatened or intimidated in such a manner.

Sleep on it tonight and see how you feel tommorrow, maybe your just really upset. If you don't feel better tommorrow I suggest putting bunny on ignore, and getting on with your Bustie life, but don't rage out of control.

bunnyb
deleted
mouse
deleted as well
treehugger
gt,

please don't give so much energy to anger. it's not healthy, for yourself, OR for those of us who witness it.
sidecar
Girltrouble, I think you need to ask yourself if fighting with this level of vitriol online is really worth the kind of energy you are expending. (If you really don't care, as you professed in the arguments thread, then I don't know why you're putting so much effort into the hateration and vulgarity that's been expressed here.) I haven't seen a post from you in awhile that hasn't descended into useless profanity and quite honestly, abusive behavior. You and bunny have differences, obviously; it's okay -- you can't like everyone you encounter in the lounge. But no matter how angry she's made you, I fail to see how you're making things better for anyone, including yourself, when you follow her from thread to thread and make posts that are, well, anything but feminist, such as the one that inspired the last few comments.

I've been refraining from getting involved in the latest round of brouhahas, because my time has recently become somewhat valuable and I'd rather spend my free time doing something that makes me happy -- but bunny truly does not deserve this kind of abuse. The Bust boards should not have this kind of abuse going on from a respected member in good standing. I would hate, hate to see a newbie try to join in the current climate that's going on here.

Bunny, I'm sorry that this level of anger has been directed at you.
mouse
this is the problem with having arguments in more than one thread at the same time. from the sound of girltrouble's posts in the actual argument thread, she's over this. from the fact that bunny deleted her response in this thread, she's over it, too. for the love of bust, can we ALL be over it, please?
girltrouble
Et Tu, sidecar?

really. i am so sick of this. all i asked is that bunny leave my name out of her mouth. so fine. there is an unspoken truce and shit settles down again. i just wanted it out of a thread, and i posted a respectful suggestion, to which bunny cursed at me and felt the need to resurrect an old fight. just like you're doing.

how can i say this more politely:MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.

i'll say it again, since there are so many people on this board who are hard of reading:

IF YOU START SOMETHING WITH ME, IF YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED, I WILL NOT PLAY NICE.

like it or not, i will go for the jugular, i will fight dirty, i will curse and call names, and say not so flattering things, i will post where everybody will see it.

SO JUST KEEP YOUR NOSE ON YOUR FACE. unless you want some trouble.

if you don't want none, won't be none. really. i am just as happy posting in the threads where i can get engaged in the topic, but don't get all up in my shit thinking i am going to take it and smile. it ain't gonna happen. and since i'm here explaining/warning people again, should i cc anyone? anyone not in the loop? anyone not get the memo yet? incase you still haven't figured it out: i have long since ceased caring what most of the busties think about me. cos no matter how many times i tell someone to leave me alone, there is some asshole trying to pick at scabs. fine. you want on the list too? look if you want to talk to me about something, then pm me and we can hash it out, but all of this fucking dogpiling just spreads the shit, it doesn't clean it. and really, if that's what you want, i'm more than happy to help-- these little posts are fun to me. it's like writing practice. go ahead, and together we can keep it going until the next person decides they want their own personal love letter from me. or we can dead it. it's your call.

so, bunny started talking about shit she knew nothing about. i don't need her read on my shit, as i have said, that is between maddy and i, and this is between bunny and i. A&B conversation:C your way out of it. unless you want something new between you and i? k?
mouse
it looks as though she *is* leaving it, and you, alone. let's ALL leave it alone. PLEASE. i hate seeing this kind of thing drag out when really, it could've been OVER five or six posts ago. freals.
mandolyn
girltrouble, i love you to pieces. you're witty, twisted, your writing is genius. i admire your spit and fire more than i can say.

but you need to STEP OFF. seriously. turn the computer off, take a bust hiatus, calm the fuck down. bunny's initial post to you in the MAS thread did not in any way shape or form deserve this level of nastyass smackdown.

i am actually writing this in the hopes you'll maybe think twice and realize that you are respected and admired more than you know. you have much to contribute here. i would never in a million years think you'd stoop this low. i'm floored, saddened and bewildered.

and no, i'm not 'taking sides' and playing the clique game. i don't think bunny was right in bringing your name up in the first place. (sorry, bunny.) but i have no doubts that with your command of the language, you could've expressed your resentment just fine, with no need of threats & spitting mad fury.

if this post of mine here means you must also put me on your shit list and stalk me and make my life miserable in here, or put me on ignore, then do what you have to do. and if you truly feel the need to play dirty (and is that really an attribute to brag about?), i'll give you some ammunition. i'm 46 yrs old, it's probably telling that i spend so much time on a message board with women half my age. i suffer from anxiety and depression. my self-esteem is in the toilet. i'm in a dead end job. my marriage is far from perfect. so, there you go. have at it. my kid is off limits, though.

and don't anyone DARE tell me to take this to the fight thread. i disagree with the entire concept (sorry, rose), i'm having a lousy week, and i'm so not in the mood.
erinjane
I agree that the fight thread was a bad idea, although it seems to be doing better now than it was at the start.

I just don't understand how people can say "so and so fight is between me and them, so butt out" when we're on a public message board. If it's truly between two people it should be taken to PM and if both parties don't want anyone else invovled they should inform people that it HAS been taken to PM.

Just my two cents.
roseviolet
I agree that the in-fighting - especially the vicious personal attacks - poisons the entire community. But ... well, I think that if people want to fight, then they will do it no matter how anyone else feels. But by keeping the arguments to one thread, it is extremely easy for the majority to avoid it. That was my motivation in suggesting the creation of the "Outside" thread in the first place. Frankly, it's been a relief for me to know that I can avoid most of the vicious bickering. I come to Bust to enjoy the warmth, love, and caring that is the real heart of this community - qualities that still exist here. But it is easy for many of us to forget that when so many threads are filled with so many hateful words.

Fights can get pretty messy, but sometimes things have to get uglier before they can get better. I haven't been reading things in the "Outside" thread, but it sounds as though some of the heated discussions may have resulted in genuine apologies (based upon what I've seen in the Sorry thread in ATWT). That was another goal that I secretly had for the "Outside" thread - that people would have a place to air their greivances and, with a little work, they might come to an understanding. Of course, the thread is now in the community's posession so it is whatever the community makes of it, but I will still hold onto the hope that its creation will have a positive affect on the community.
pollystyrene
Okay, the porn bot's gone too far. LoungeLady, can we please delete the nasty post in the blah blah blah thread? I've reported through the button also.
roseviolet
I'm right there with you, Polly. I've been reporting these things all week, but The Lounge Lady has done absolutely nothing as far as I can tell.
girltrouble
i'm going to refrain from cursing the pornbot out, although not sure why....hmmmm. they certainly deserve it....
pollystyrene
She did quickly remove the post in the blah blah blah thread, which I'm sure we're all grateful for.
mornington
but she didn't do anything to actually block them from posting. they're back.

what is it about that thread?
culturehandy
What did the resident pornbot say?
girltrouble
sorry culture, i was waiting for a punchline.... something like "sorry about my limp link." or some sort of viagra joke.
LoveMyPugs
GT

LOL

laugh.gif blink.gif biggrin.gif
culturehandy
*laughs hysterically*
mornington
groan... that was bad, GT.
culturehandy
Just for that,

A guy walks into a bar with a peice of asphalt under his arm, he says to the ar tender; "I'll take a beer for myself and one for the road"

An ion walks into the bar, and asks for a beer, the bartender says "for you, no charge".
mornington
a lorry full of tortoises collided outside my house with a van full of terrapins. it was a turtle disaster.


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