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kittenb
QUOTE(bunnyb @ Oct 4 2008, 05:35 PM) *


Let's agree that it will annoy the fuck out of some of us and the rest won't give a fuck.


While I can clearly agree to that I just find it frustrating that when somethings change around here some people always take it as some personal attack that Debbie and Bust as a whole just doesn't care about us at all. If the lounge was getting expensive then I would much rather make use of the ad space than have the site dissapear.

I don't know if debbie gives a damn about me in the specific, "I wonder how Kittenb is doing today?" type of way. What I do know is that Bust, both the Lounge and the magazine, have made a huge change in my life and really made things better for me. If this is what neesd to happen so that some other calls-herself-a-feminist-but-doesnt-really-know-what-that-means-wants-to-do-crafts-but-doesnt-think-she-can-is-a-rape-survivor-but-cant-find-a-online-forum-to-talk-about-it cabn find a home, then so be it. I don't feel pimped or taken advantage of in anyway.

The lounge isn't sacred. It is what it is. An internet space where many of us like to come. But we don't own it and we don't pay for it.

And if this is what it took to get the trolls smacked down, I am totally okay with that to.
candycane_girl
kitten, I agree with everything you just said. I don't see why people are taking such offense to it.
bunnyb
I'm not taking offense, it just bugged the hell out of me in a -my, that's really distracting me way- but I'm not thinking, "this is BUST's latest way to screw us over" although I can see where GT and AP are coming from. I hate to admit it but I'm used to it already although that's because I'm scrolling down so that I don't have to look at the thing too bloody often; I just didn't like the principle behind it - we're doing this, just deal with it attitude, that some busties seem to be share.

What I am more bothered about is this: I seem to be noticing more and more recently that BUSTies can't express that they're upset about something without other BUSTies counter-arguing (I won't say attacking as it seems too strong in some of the examples I am thinking of, especially in this case) "why are you so upset? just deal with it, no need to get your panties in a twist" [paraphrasing] and that jars with me... it's as if my or other busties' dislike of something/concern about something else isn't valid and that we're just bitching. I really don't like that and I felt that way very recently before this ad thing.
kittenb
I don't mean to imply that people cannot be upset about whatever they choose to be upset about. I am sorry if I did. I don't know how to say what I am thinking without offending someone at this point and I really hate that. I normally want to back down from on-line confrontations because it is too easy to be miunderstood.

But I really am having a hard time understanding why some members are taking everything as a personal affront lately. And bunnyb, this isn't directed at you so i am sorry that it seemed to be. Feel free to get your panties in a twist. wink.gif
bunnyb
Oh I know you didn't mean it like that, kitten, and to a certain degree I don't think that anyone actually does... it just seems as if people are way too over-sensitive just now and/or they don't appreciate the sensitivity of others. It's like this: some of us are upset and you may not get that but does it make our feelings any less valid? no, so why the need to keep saying "I don't get why you're so upset, just deal with it" (that you is general and not directed to any one individual). I find that approach really patronising and that's what rankles.
girltrouble
honestly i can't see that the cost of the lounge has gone up drastically. the content is free, she doesn't really have, and never has paid anyone to police the lounge, and compared to the other components of busts' site, i would bet dollars to doughnuts, that it's cheapest, second only to the girl wide web.

for the sake of argument, let's give her the benefit of the doubt, let's say the cost has gone up a bit. as i said before, why not raise the rates of the banners at top and bottom?

i can see where some people wonder what the big deal is, for me, this is just another case of debbie treating the busties as second class citizens here in bust land.

if there was one place where she could really engage her readers, or her 'constituents' this would be the place, but, instead...

nada.

it's hypocritical. she talks all this rah-de-rah about how this place needs to be self-moded, but when it comes to what she wants, that's what goes, and suddenly this little democracy of ours, goes by the wayside.

this is just another case in point.

some people here, are prone to hear debbie, and take her at her word. i am not. i don't think she's really earned that kind of trust, at least in my book. i have little but contempt for her. she says the costs have gone up, i say bullshit.
roseviolet
Count me as another person who doesn't mind the additional ad. I admit that it looks a little awkward in that space, but as long as it isn't too intrusive & doesn't hamper the function of the Lounge, it's okay by me. Honestly, I didn't even notice its existence until somebody pointed it out. I guess that's what I get for scrolling down & just focusing my attention on posts.

I'm a member of a different forum where the ads are embedded in the body of threads. They're just stuck there in between member's posts. And they're pretty sucky ads for pretty sucky companies, too. I've been spending a lot less time on that site recently for multiple reasons, one of which is the excessive advertising. I sincerely hope that Bust never stoops to that low level of crapitude, but I'm fine with what we have now.

Frankly, I think if the higher-ups at Bust really didn't care about The Lounge, they'd just shut it down entirely. But they haven't. For that I am grateful. But that's just me.
candycane_girl
GT, they can't raise their rates if they haven't had a big increase in the amount of success that clients get from advertising here because it could drive advertisers away. Think of it this way: imagine that you buy ad space for a prime time show for a certain amount of money. During that season the viewership goes way higher than expected. The next season when you go to buy time during that show, the rates have gone way up. However, if the viewership has gone way down, then so do the ad rates because they're desperate for anyone to advertise.

So if the success rate of the banner ads hasn't really changed all that much, they would have a hell of a time trying to explain to their clients why their rates have suddenly gone up.
pollystyrene
I agree, rose- I post on a cat site that has ads in between the posts....I don't notice them too much anymore but the other thing they do is have a membership program- for like $20 a year, you can participate in a member's only private forum (big freaking deal!) and they also have all these arbitrary levels of privileges, like you can't have a custom avatar until you've made 700 posts...sorry, but I don't have that much to talk about my cat. (Although, I could probably get to 700 posts here in a couple of months!) They also have a section to talk about politics (in addition to a non-cat related section where you can talk about anything) and you have to have posted 100 times to post in there.

My boyfriend's site, run by him an his friends to post their artwork, would just beg for PayPal donations- it cost about $500 a year to get server space, and they'd get the money all through donations. And when they didn't, the site went down for a month. One of the online comics he reads, people complained that the guy didn't put out enough stuff and he said, "Look, I gotta eat and pay rent, so I need to have a job in addition to this site. If you donate as much as my salary, I'll quite my job and put out comics full-time." $40,000 in donations later, he was doing the comics full time.

I get that we feel distrustful of the powers that be, but let's keep some perspective here and be happy we have this place at all, and free of the alternative options. As much as I don't like the ads and the troll posts, I'd rather have that than have to pay a membership fee and exclude people who can't afford it. I mean, what would you tell the people who come here for Survivor's Space or the BV thread who can't pony up the dough?
hellotampon
I don't understand some of the reactions to the new ad. Yes, the site looks slightly different, but I've seen way more intrusive ads. This one sits at the top and if you don't want to see it, all you have to do is scroll down a little. It's not even visible when you're reading the posts. Feministing had ads for some theater company for a while that popped up right on top of what you were reading and there was no way to close them and read what was underneath. THAT was annoying. This? Not so much, at least not to me. I don't want to belittle anyone's feelings here- I understand that it might rub some people the wrong way for whatever reason and that you need to voice your issues with it, but personally, I think the way some people have gone about that (in what can only be described as a temper tantrum), is actually a little bit embarrassing, honestly.
bunnyb
So I guess my attempt at saying that some people are going to be upset, some aren't but let's all live happily after failed. Instead, people have to keep piling on and say "I don't get it either" and make anybody who is/was annoyed feel stupid, invalidated and like an embarrassed child. BUST really is a hurtful place at times. I was reactionary and instead of taking some time and dealing with it I immediately made by displeasure felt to THE POWERS THAT BE. I wasn't bitching at busties so why the need for most of you all to make me feel an inch tall? GOD, can't you just sit there and disagree but actually refrain from posting, actually realise that by doing so you're just making me and whoever else feel and look like an idiot?

This is such a warm, comforting and supportive place, really, I should wear my heart on my sleeve more often because it never, ever gets me burned. Now I really am going to stop acting like a child and posting about this issue because (as I have already said) the ads don't even bother me anymore but the reaction from all those busties who like to rub it in that I'm over-reacting does.
faerietails
i don't think that was directed at you, bun.

personally, i still notice it every time and still think it's aesthetically yucky (maybe if it were level with the "my controls" box or something...? the top looks all unbalanced), but yeah, it could be worse.
pepper
well, we all put our opinion out there and then we come back and read other's opinions, right? if poster A wants to say that something sucks and then poster B comes along and says that they don't think it sucks so much that isn't a personal attack either way, that's just opinion and that's what we're here for. if saying what you said bunny was in fact asking others to NOT post their opinions that differ from that then you're doing the thing you were asking others not to do. did that make sense? you want sensitive posters sentiments to be accepted but isn't it fair for that to go both ways, acceptance for the opinions of the people who are saying they don't see it in the same light? acceptance of expression all around, no silencing either way.

anyhow, i acknowledge that the ad is bothersome to some people and that the (supposed, because we can't really know) motivation behind it is also bothersome or troubling or whatever BUT it just isn't to me. i get it, i'm ok with it. in fact, i tried out the work free mode for the first time and i am loving it, clean and simple and if i want pink leopard print i can glue some fabric on my monitor. meh, big deal. For Me! i get it that it IS in fact a big deal to others and i understand that. what i don't get is the aggressive accusations and name calling, i hardly think anyone would talk to debbie that way face to face so why do it in print? to me it's way over the top. i think the same sentiment could be expressed in a way that is less harsh but as effective. may i say here that i accept that this is how some posters see fit to express themselves and the above is me expressing my opinion about that. i'm not trying to silence anyone, just as i don't wish to be silenced. just saying what i think and that's fair.
erinjane
QUOTE(pepper @ Oct 6 2008, 04:58 PM) *
well, we all put our opinion out there and then we come back and read other's opinions, right? if poster A wants to say that something sucks and then poster B comes along and says that they don't think it sucks so much that isn't a personal attack either way, that's just opinion and that's what we're here for. if saying what you said bunny was in fact asking others to NOT post their opinions that differ from that then you're doing the thing you were asking others not to do. did that make sense? you want sensitive posters sentiments to be accepted but isn't it fair for that to go both ways, acceptance for the opinions of the people who are saying they don't see it in the same light? acceptance of expression all around, no silencing either way.

anyhow, i acknowledge that the ad is bothersome to some people and that the (supposed, because we can't really know) motivation behind it is also bothersome or troubling or whatever BUT it just isn't to me. i get it, i'm ok with it. in fact, i tried out the work free mode for the first time and i am loving it, clean and simple and if i want pink leopard print i can glue some fabric on my monitor. meh, big deal. For Me! i get it that it IS in fact a big deal to others and i understand that. what i don't get is the aggressive accusations and name calling, i hardly think anyone would talk to debbie that way face to face so why do it in print? to me it's way over the top. i think the same sentiment could be expressed in a way that is less harsh but as effective. may i say here that i accept that this is how some posters see fit to express themselves and the above is me expressing my opinion about that. i'm not trying to silence anyone, just as i don't wish to be silenced. just saying what i think and that's fair.


I've just been lurking over this whole thing, but I wanted to say Pepper, that you said exactly what I was thinking (on all points).
girltrouble
QUOTE
i get it that it IS in fact a big deal to others and i understand that. what i don't get is the aggressive accusations and name calling, i hardly think anyone would talk to debbie that way face to face so why do it in print? to me it's way over the top. i think the same sentiment could be expressed in a way that is less harsh but as effective. may i say here that i accept that this is how some posters see fit to express themselves and the above is me expressing my opinion about that.

nope, instead you'd rather hint.

that's ok tho. again, there are some who rollover at every turn, their mantra is don't make waves, it will never happen. just be happy with what we've got.

whatever. not my style.

would i say that to your face, pep? hells yeah. i've been more than happy to walk out of a job after giving my employer an earful. i take pride in that. i don't bite my tongue, i don't elude, you know where i stand.
i don't mince my words. to me that is a virtue. rolling over, being quiet, not my thing. sometimes you gotta be bombastic, and hey, i LURVE bombast.

what's more, i don't see anything as, "oh, it's just one ad, and there are worse out there." you watch, you see if that ad doesn't grow in size. you watch as it multiplies. cos it's gonna. yeah there are worse there, but so what? since when was the lounge the average forum? i'm either indifferent to things or overly passionate, when it comes to the lounge, i'm passionate. again, to me? virtue.



you may not like the way i do things, pepper, and that's your right. i don't like that you prefer not to make waves instead of raise hell.

yawn.


so what else is new?
auralpoison
Um, boobies? Anyone? Boobies . . .
pepper
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Oct 6 2008, 10:04 PM) *

i don't like that you prefer not to make waves instead of raise hell.


how long did you say you've been here? ppfft. i have no problem making waves when i feel it girl. in this case i didn't "hint" at anything, i said exactly what i thought.
first you badger the hell out of the PTB to make you a mod and then you ditch the whole thing in a huge fit saying that "we" don't understand how tough the job was blah blah blah and Then you turn it around and do the very thing you freaked out about all over the PTB. do you actually think that their job is any easier than what you were doing for 15 minutes? get real. YOU Know it's impossible to please all of the people all of the time and yet look at the abuse you have felt free to fling all over the place. it's tiresome, frankly, and not a bit immature. but whatever, that's your right to pitch a hissy fit if you like and to insult and insinuate about the people who don't jump on your band wagon. i personally think you're making a mountain out of a mole hill because you like being the center of attention. so here's a little fuel for your fire, i am sure that you'll milk it for all that it's worth.
stargazer
hey, Take It Outside!


did someone say boobies?!? yours or mine? wink.gif
auralpoison
Everybody's! Boobies!
culturehandy
Boobies Boobies Boobies*

you kind of have to chant this with the cha cha rhythm. Like when Homer sings I am evil Homer, I am evil Homer.

Okay, I found it here. be forewarned, it's really really busy. And all the flashing will probably give you a seizure (like those Japanese cartoons) but if you want to here what's going on with my head...

boobies, boobies, boobies.

*shakes ass*
dayglowpink
Can I jump in here to talk about a new thread idea? It seems like there is a lot going on, so I don't know if anyone has the energy to discuss this right now, but I thought I'd check! I posted in the general sex thread wondering if there is any kind of poly thread, and it seems not? Would others be interested in a thread about poly relationship issues? Would you prefer to have it in the relationships forum or the sex forum? If there's an interest, any name ideas?
auralpoison
I dunno how a poly thread would go over. There aren't that many poly Busties. But I'd call it, "Just more of you to love: the Poly thread".
pixiedust
I think there used to be a poly thread way back once upon a time, but it never got much action so it eventually went away. It might have even been on one of the old servers it's been so long ago.
auralpoison
It was here back before the Lounge upgrade. That's been a good two years now. It didn't get much play.
girltrouble
you might want to try the bdsm thread, i know it's not an exact fit, but we certainly discuss poly, and open relationships. any relationship outside of the normal vanilla is welcome there, and that's where i always used to discuss my poly/open theories/problems, plus everyone there is very open and accepting of any different relationship.
dayglowpink
You know I know that, gt! smile.gif I would be happy to do that. Just didn't want to hijack the thread if it wasn't appropriate. But it seems like a whole thread may not be sustainable. Thanks for the input, everyone.
konphusion26
Question... is there an easy way to pull up ALL my old posts and delete some of them?
girltrouble
there's not an easy way...
konphusion26
oh...

well how would I go about doing that my dear?
culturehandy
I think you'd need to go through that manually, go through each thread, then edit your posts...
pollystyrene
You could do a search for your own posts, either by going through your profile or search. You would then still have to go into each thread.
stargazer
hey, do we have a vegetarian/vegan thread in the lounge? blink.gif
pollystyrene
Yep, Veggie Tales in OBOH- I bumped it for you. Did you recently go veggie? Is it a permanent thing or a detox thing? Just curious.
stargazer
Nawh. It's permanent. Don't worry, I can still eat Mexican food for our outing. Yeah, I had to throw a kink in the Chicago Bustie gang and go meatless. dry.gif
starpiste
is there a place where it would be good to discuss erotic modeling? experiences and how to keep it safe? hmm. I may just be losing my mind.
girltrouble
star there used to be a adult work thread, i'll see if i can find/bump it for you.






*tries super hard not post about the coincidence of the new ad in the corner and the mass of adtrolls we've had lately and debbie/modsquad's silence on the matter.

oh, and that i would bet my left nut that debbie's turned over modsquad to an intern.

but i won't....don't want to rock the boat...
starpiste
many thanks, as always!
culturehandy
GT, I was just coming in here to post the same observation.

This porn and pharmacy bot invasion is fucking bullshit, and sure we've been having them pop up more as of late, but the fact that they are posting as of late, and now with the big fucking banner is a mighty coincidence. I'll agee to that.
auralpoison
Um, I'm kinda going on *forced* lockdown.

I behaved in a way as to be unbecoming to true Busties by being baited by fuckface.

Bobby showed last week & yeah, I'm going home & am not gonna be back 'til November. He's holding me hostage until we got shit worked out.

I swear, I dunno what he wants from me, but we shall see. Perhaps I will be miserable, unsuccessful & picking at myself forever. wink.gif

That being said, I've written a short story that seems to be gaining favorable response from a few lit mags. Should it go through, I shall let you know. The title is based on a Fitzgerald story. It'll be my first published work since me mum died.
pollystyrene
((ap)) I hope you have some productive time off. You've been nothing but enjoyable around here (even when I've gotten caught in the crossfire!) and I hope you find your way back soon!

PM me with your story info...I think I only mentioned it in Kvetch, but LeBoy had a story published a couple months ago. In a UK mag called The Delinquent.
stargazer
uh, so are you saying you won't be in the lounge for sometime AP? i'm confused. are you pulling a maimy on us?


good luck on working things out with HB. (((AP))) you will be missed. sad.gif
auralpoison
No, I won't be pulling a Maimy. (((((MAIMY))))) I miss her sooooo much.

I just have dedicated too much time here. And I just behaved so atrociously recently & caused so many people some useless drama.

I let Bobby into a little of the drama. I didn't make him too privvy, it makes me uncomfortable to have my mate here. I would feel weird if he knew how reverently I've written things about him/us. Plus, he'd feel all weird about my detailing the sexins', especially the one where we both cried. No matter how much he laughed at me mounting his cock & singing "Feel Like Makin' Love". He'd be HORRIFIED if he knew his moniker was "Hot Boss".

Gosh. I think this may be the first time I've ever publicly used his name since the time I tried to fuck him in the Volvo. Thank cod he got the Tahoe!

BUT, I haven't really dealt with the issues of mother/grandmother dying & I took my anger out on somebody that (deservedly so) made my hackles stand up & turn red. He took the brunt of some serious anger. The Lounge is someplace I feel safe & to have some fucktard cause so much damage? I went into full Mike Tyson mode. Could I have ripped one of his ears off with my mouth? Would have been a pleasure. I wanted to tear his throat with my teeth. I still want to tear his throat out with my teeth. But that's the anger talking. Had I my regular wits about me, I'd have given him some shit & let him go. No, I went after him like a rabid wolverine.

But that's indicative of my overall mindset. I wanted to protect my space no matter how ferocious I came across. Everything else is so up in the air, BUST is my only barometer of a good constant anymore. And I took it too far. I did. IN NO WAY IS THIS AN APOLOGY. Christopher Scott Funk can suck my left one because he is an anal fissure on the ass of the world!

It has been mutually determined since last Friday that I need to go home & take care of my shit. Meaning, I can't do this by myself no matter what I think.

He's been here since late Friday night. I need his help, I need to surrender to that. My cheese has always stood alone, now I need a good aged bottle to wine to go with it. We've been fighting CONSTANTLY over the LDR thing, but ever since I took off that ring I've felt bereft. My finger itched & I kept feeling at it. Now that I feel it again, I can't imagine taking it off. He doesn't want to marry me, nor do I him, but it's a sign of our dedication to each other.

Anyway, I'm taking off until November. I need to work on my shit. I can't go on this way with the bizarre fits of insanity. I may dabble until we go on vacation next Thursday, but nothing concrete until November. Unless I sneak. tongue.gif We're going someplace warm with no clocks & fruity drinks.

This is an indication of how much I love this man. I hate the beach & I hate the islands. I hate sand, I hate sun. But I NEED him & want to make him HAPPY.

I am so going to hell. I've never put this much faith in a man in my life. AND I AM TERRIFIED.

Anyways, regards, AP goes off to tropical climes to drink some fruity shit & get fucked senseless. And hopefully get her shit together. I LOVE YOU ALL & BE WELL!
mouse
(((AP))) good luck with everything! and let us know about the story? i'd love to read your work....

i originally came in here to bitch about how image tags aren't working lately. has anyone else been experiencing this?
girltrouble
goddamn it, ap, you suck and i love you so fucking much. whatever you do work on your shit so you can come back to us, k? and when you get back, no more passing out on the couch when i'm trying to call you, you f'ing ho-bag!

we got our fingers crossed for you, lady!

xoxoxoxoxox and o.




**********

mouse, the img tags haven't been working since debbie added that lovely little ad in the corner, she said she turned that function off to deter steve, who, ironically was posting less of those fake abortion pix, and who most busties didn't see because they've got him blocked. *this is me rolling my eyes at the logic there* but, honestly, i suspect she's on to the next project, and forgotten all about it.

and yeah. debbie's made an intern mod squad. steve's post-- posted at 7pm... it's 11:30 on a weeknight-- when most busties have popped in. how long till it's deleted? or am i gonna have to email her before anything happens?

i'm trying to bite my tongue.... but she sure don't make it easy. remember, she gives the lounge LLLLLLLLLOADS of thought. *this is me pretending to sneeze and saying "bullshit." *

this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....this is me not posting the incredibly catty/bitchy comment that is rolling around in my head right now....
bunnyb
(((AP))) enjoy time with HB. Please PM the story info to me too when you can; I'd love to read it.
auralpoison
Bizznatch, I'd been awake for three days! I needed the f'ing sleep! It was only four hours! The most I'd gotten in that whole time! And I was un-fucking hinged! But I love you, too, Princess Fluffy Pink Semantics.

I'll let you know.
sybarite
Nice title AP.

All the best for you and HB's time away. A friend of mine was similarly kidnapped (albeit she agreed to go) by her guy and taken to the greek islands to sort out their issues. It worked a treat for them. Also, my mister hates the beach too: that's what shaded hammocks are for.

Good luck, hope to see you back here happy as can be.
kittenb
AP- Have fun and heal. We will miss you.
bunnyb
Has anybody else noticed that the format of the Bustline has changed and that BUSTies are no longer quoted? That makes me sad.
starpiste
I agree bunny. I miss the celeb quotes to...
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