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doodlebug
AP, you totally kicked Mr. Clinging Apocalypse's ass. Yay, you! Don't apologize!
voodoo_princess
Where did this ass-kicking take place? I want to read too so I can smile about something today.... I hate those troll freaks!
margot
Hooray!
-I finally got in the lounge again, after 3 days of the grey bubble saying not available. I expected it to be all updated. Hey ho. I was so excited, thinking there would be an ignore function, and all those freaks would just disappear then.
And, yeah, I want to see the ass-kicking too.
auralpoison
Glad to hear most of you are sorted computer-wise! We misseded you!

AP is a harsh mistress! The Mating Game. He started it in 'Boys are dumb' & then started a whole new thread about how 'Jessikafessika eats my soul'. TOTAL psycho stalker fuckchop. Doodle called him out, GGG called him out, Lucizoe called him out, etc. Thefedupex got enough of our two cents that the motherfucker had enough change to buy a latte at Starbucks. He thought I was unpleasant. HAH! He may not know the half of it (AP is a BFB!), but I'm not the one being all loony tunes. He got kicked to the curb, then he took one to the mental teeth from all of us with our steel-toed words.

My ex-ex stalked me & freaked out my neighbours so badly that I got a six mo TRO against him. As soon as it was up he came around & I gave him a MAJOR bejesus talk about his drinking. He did his twenty-eight days & is now something like a year & a half sober. In fact he just got a promotion at his job & invited me to his victory dinner. There is no polite way to say, "I prefer to meet you in public, should you wig out."
maimy
There's a pretty popular BUSTer who has described a woman he is/was into as a "little lady" in another thread. I didn't want to derail that thread, but that creeps me out and offends me to boot. I know everyone's response to him is sympathy for his travails, but I can't help but think a man who looks at a woman and thinks "little lady" (in this century) may have just revealed part of his own problems ...

I just had to say that, sorry. Back to regular programming ... (Yes, I know I could have gone to the Troll thread for a complaint like this. But the man in question is absolutely accepted as a member - so I felt this thread was as appropriate as I could find.)

My apologies for the tangent.
livelyupurself
Hiya Maimy. I read what you are talking about too and I was not quite sure if he was making reference to her as in "the litle lady" or if he meant that she is just small in stature. At the bottom he did also mention being drunk, not that calling a woman a "little lady" is acceptable under any circumstance. I have not had any real interaction with this particular BUSTer, so I have no idea here. You could ask him to clarify, though I don't know if you would care to.
maimy
I'd sooner stay out of the conversation. As everyone seems to be supportive, I'd be trollish to go in bitching. I just wanted to sort of note my discomfort. Opening a dialog with him doesn't interest me, though. Ah well. He seems mostly harmless, if rather self-indulgent.
pepper
grr, when a tr*ll thread is well on it's way to the bottom why would someone Bump It Back Up To The Top?!? ungh.
auralpoison
WORD!
doodlebug
Not to mention that joking about rape of ANY kind is really gross and not at all funny. Ugh.
venetia
re the lil lady, I immediately guessed who you peeps were talking about even though I hadn't seen the post, and I'm pretty sure it's because it's his term for this specific person?
hummingbird
*i just posted this in the job hunting hell thread, i thought i would post it here too for more feedback*

hello all,

i was thinking of starting a new thread called something like "the finding your passion thread". i already have a gig. i make decent money. but, i ain't gettin any younger and i want to leave my job within the next two years. only problem, i don't have a clue as to what my career passion is, so i can't make any definitive moves towards it. i am actively searching, and trying new things to find it. i wanted to hear other stories about his kind of thing, i brought this idea up in the community forum, and i was told that i might want to check out this thread first. although, i don't think this thread is the right place. job hunting hell is job hunting hell, it's not finding your passion. i have the leisure of finding my passion because i have a "good government job." not the same as trying to secure the food on the table. so what do you gals think? should i start this new thread?

hummingbird
*i just posted this in the job hunting hell thread, i thought i would post it here too for more feedback*

hello all,

i was thinking of starting a new thread called something like "the finding your passion thread". i already have a gig. i make decent money. but, i ain't gettin any younger and i want to leave my job within the next two years. only problem, i don't have a clue as to what my career passion is, so i can't make any definitive moves towards it. i am actively searching, and trying new things to find it. i wanted to hear other stories about his kind of thing, i brought this idea up in the community forum, and i was told that i might want to check out this thread first. although, i don't think this thread is the right place. job hunting hell is job hunting hell, it's not finding your passion. i have the leisure of finding my passion because i have a "good government job." not the same as trying to secure the food on the table. so what do you gals think? should i start this new thread?

hummingbird
opps! my double post bad.
lot49
hummingbird, I would be interested in that thread. Not just for finding your passion, but for the complexities involved in pursuing it.
citrussss
I wonder if there are any other performing, specifically singing Busties here? I would love to start a thread where performers can engage in discussion about the biz, about performance anxiety, issues, feedback resources, etc, etc. I am studying opera at University and have lots to talk about but I'm not sure if there are a lot of performers out here. Anyone know of a closely related thread either?
lucizoe
Citrussss, there's a theatre industry thread, which I have shamefully let drop to the bottom...

I just bumped it to the top of Working Grrrls
maimy
Venetia, I don't know if it's like a pet name (even so - ew), but he was referring to a particular person. I know the guy's accepted, so I wouldn't go in there calling him out - he's obviously hurting. But given that he enumerates the several clearly-understood reasons that hurt is pretty much self-imposed, I feel more "respect for boundaries" than emotional pity for that. So I didn't think it'd be TOO shitty to just note that the whole idea of looking at a woman (or all women) as "little lady" might be one more symptom of his issues.

I can freely admit to having issues myself with any diminutizing nicknames (and NOT just from men, I hate it when women do that to - and not just to women, either). There is a definite psychological power play from anyone calling anyone cutesy "little" names, and I can't find it adorable.
alligator
Maimy,

It's ok.

Hang in there, baby.




Whoops. ;)
mandolyn
i use 'gals' alot in here. and 'ladies'. as terms of endearment. sometimes i wonder if i'm offending anyone. i should probably stop. *hanging head in shame*

but, then again, if the intent is very much NOT condescension, is it still condescension?
tyger
i think most inter-bustie communications are pretty safe for stuff like that, mando (esp. in threads like kvetch and okay...you should see what we call each other friday mornings!)
alligator
Not in my eyes, Mando. Intent is everything.
maimy
But Mando, that's not a term that automatically miniaturizes another person. Pet names, nicknames, general blanket terms used in good humor - not a problem for those lacking sticks in their asses. My own squick happens to be with terms that cast someone as juvenile or diminutive - I had a manager who did this in the office, calling everyone around her (male and female) "Boo" and things like that. CHILDISH name - and totally coming from a woman who intended to set herself above others. It was a clear pathology, and it pissed me off ... never mind being wildly unprofessional.

I find that most people who diminutize/infantilize/"mother" others tend to do it with intent, so it leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Gals definitely doesn't do that. YOU definitely do not do that. Your heart and your smarts wouldn't make it possible to misinterpret.

Now, George, however ...

Get back in your diaper - kiddo.
raisingirl
Oh Mando, if you're hanging your head in shame, I need to hang mine in double shame because I say (and write) things like "hi, guys" and "oh, man" way too much.

But I like to invoke the name of Maude, too, so maybe not all hope is lost. I kind of don't care.
raisingirl
Yeah, you tell him, BABYCAKES!
maimy
Don't you worry your pretty little empty head, puddin' pop ...
raisingirl
Haha! Is it so wrong that I see "puddin' pop" and I immediately think of Bill Cosby?!

Don't answer.
snafooey
mmmmmmmm......puddin'pops.
pepper
oh, but i love to be called pet names by my peeps who i know love me. expecially "girl", ooh, i do have such a thing for that.
i would NOT, however, like to be called "boo" by a boss, it's just creepy.
little lady is Not my favourite either but i can think of worse. it's sort of endearing, no? i don't find it offensive at least. but i'm not really all that sensitive about such things. thick capricorn skin and all that...
snafooey
I call everyone "babe" (or sometimes "dude") regardless of sex (in a non-professional environment, of course). "Little lady" is something different, though. . .mostly b/c if I've ever used the expression "little man" I was a) either talking to a child b) joking around (as in, not a term of endearment so much as friendly teasing) or c) deliberately being condescending.
pixiedust
citrusss, I am a singing Bustie. Normally, I stick to the karaoke circuit, but that is still quite a thing in our town. there is a group of us that are either professionals or semi professions and we meet to do karaoke at different clubs around town. generally, the drunk off your ass, rednecks are not accepted at the places we sing. Anyway, if you start the thread, let me know.
ETA: I don't know who the Buster is...but if he's from down south..say Texas...that is a very common term of endearment and usually not considered offensive.
hellotampon
I have 2 questions:

1. I searched the board for a discussion on the whole "pre-conception" healthcare thing but I came up blank. I was so sure that people would be talking about it. Is there one?

2. I also thought I saw a discussion on bicycles a little while back but I can't find it now. So, looking for that one too.
pepper
it was in the corn cob thread but the archives seem to have disappeared and none of the discussion is there anymore.
no idea 'bout the bikes though.
alligator
Maimy,

For shame. That diaper thing was our secret. Don't make me publish that erotic haiku you sent me.

You remember, the one about the scuba suit and vaseline..?
margot
Hellotampon -I think they discussed the pre-conception thing in childfree by choice?
turbojenn
hellotampon, we definitely discussed pre-conception in childfree by choice...can't remember when.
raisingirl
HT, there was some talk of bikes in Becoming Healthy and (possibly) Swifter Faster.

(You can always do a keyword search!)
pollystyrene
We talked about pre-conception about a month ago. We were using the term "pre-pregnancy" though because that's what the article we had called it.
hellotampon
Oh DUH! I knew the pre-conception thing was somewhere and I read Childfree all the time! I'm stupid.
mandolyn
lol @ "pretty little head" and "puddin pop"!

and raisin, i do believe i got you started on "babycakes". which i stole from a dear friend who has disappeared from my life without explanation and whow i sorely miss, so the term has special-love meaning for me. and i only use it for people who get my special-love. but if it's making you nuts, sorry!

i think i must needs steal "boo", tho. advance apologies, dolls.

hee.
fiercetastic777
Say, ladies. Does anyone know the web address to find the paint by numbers glasses case from the June/July issue of BUST? I am sitting in front of a computer without my magazine
raisingirl
Nah, it's not making me nuts; I kind of like it but couldn't figure out how I started using it ALL THE TIME. haha!

But thanks for the explanation, Dollface. I really had no idea. Um... I'm having a senior moment?
citrussss
thanks for the bump Lucizoe! Hopefully there will be some response.
maimy
Raisin, you're too teeny-tiny of a baby to have a SENIOR moment.

I really will stop hijacking this thread, I promise. *Staring daggers at George*
alligator
eeep!

(runs away)
seraphine
Hmm... can anyone point me in the direction of a topic(s) related to clothing and sizing? I looked through the topics a few times but did not see anything really related. Though I have been known to be blind more than once!

Thanks in advance. ;)
kittenb
Try this one. Well, this is for plus sizes. I don't know if that is what you are looking for or not.
seraphine
Thank you, kittenb!

I am not specifically looking for plus sizes... I had a question about fitting a corset. Perhaps the "small breast support group (I need it even if they don't)" thread, since I fit that description? Hmm.
turbojenn
seraphine - you might want to step on over to the bpal.org forum (its mainly for perfume)...but they have fabulous discussions over there about corsets, good companies, fitting, etc...You have to register to see most of the forum, but I think you'll find what you need there.
margot
Hi.
How can I make links smaller and forum-friendly please?
I looked in the formatting section to the left, but couldn't find out how to do it.
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