I think the bully thread would be better. I thought about survivor's space but I really feel like that's a sacred space for those women and I don't want to invade it.

a horror movie and book thread?

well i <3 the horror movies, and i've been itching for an excuse to explore it from a feminist film theory frame and i know there are a couple of books about that too. i'm down.

GT, if you haven't yet read it, you must check out Barbara Creed's The Monstrous-Feminine and also Julia Kristeva on the 'abject'...

/film theory geek derail. As you were.

i've been dying to read them-- thanks for the reminder syb, so crushed out on you right now...*laughs*

aw, poop. i was hoping the library might have something but no dice. meh. it's film theory. i'd want to write in the margins anyways. lol... might as well buy it.

have you read any of creed's other books syb? she wrote a thing on the darwinian theories in film
*pantysplash*

ahem.

sorry. you say darwin and film in the same sentence and i lose all control.

GT, it's been a long time since I read Creed; I got into her through analysis of sci-fi film as an undergrad, where her arguments also coincided nicely with my interests in identity politics and feminist film theory. I have not read her since but the darwinian theories sound intriguing.

To see how she intersects with Kristeva, check this out: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Abjection

On sci-fi film theory you may want to check out Annette Kuhn's Alien Zone, if you're into that as well.

This ends this afternoon's 5 second tutorial. I ate this stuff up back in the day! /derail

oh, sweet dark chocolate jesus with strawberry sauce, syb. that was loverly. i'd love to read more. would you mind moving this convo over the the reel life thread? i'd love to hear you talk a bit about films it applies to (although i can think of a few...)

I want to make a clarification about the "Survivor's Space" thread. Before I do, candycane_girl, I know that what you wrote was with the best of intentions and with no intention to offend and I am not offended.
It's not a "sacred space." I do think it is a special thread and I am happy that it here but it is no more member's only than any other part of Bust. One of my goals in the work that I do is to normalize the experience of sexual violence. It happens to soooooo many people and it is a tragedy every time. However, with a current stat of 1 in 3/4 women experiencing it, it also needs to be something that people realize happens to a lot of people. Being a survivor does not make me special or precious or, really, in any way different than other women. I simply say that because of what I went through some parts of me (body, mind and soul) don't work the same as they do for other people. This is neither good not bad, it is what I make of it.
I hope this makes sense. I do get concerned when I feel others worry that survivors are either more delicate or more strong because of what we went through. It is important to me that every survivor is viewed as an individual as well as part of the survivor community.
CCG, in my opinion, what that asshat put you through was a form of non-contact sexual violence. He made you afraid in the way that a woman will be when she feels her safety violated by an implied threat of rape or other violent harm. This is not me saying, "You are one of us now." However, with the prevelance and normalcy of sexual violence, I don't think there is a woman alive who doesn't have some concept of what sexual violence feels like. You are welcome in the thread. Everyone is.

Kitten, there should be a beautiful song written about you. *heart*

Thanks!

Thanks kitten. I think you're right about how survivors are sometimes viewed differently from other people. I know that harassment and violence happens to a lot of women, so yes, we should normalize it and not marginalize survivors. Of course, those stats still piss me off. I get so angry thinking that we live in a world where this is the norm. You're right about that jerk, he really did make me feel unsafe and he made me feel threatened.

Anyway, I'm kind of rambling now but thank you.

About that musician's thread....

names?

The Beat Goes On

Wine Women and Song

Blame it on the Bossa Nova

She-Bop, the musicians thread (cringe)

Beat Street

I know some of these are veddy cheesy, just brainstorming!

Do we really *need* a musician thread? There'd really only be three people posting which would get old quick. We'd do just as well to repurpose the Guitar Music thread as start a new one. I'm just sayin'.

I agree -- if we find it gets a lot of play, then we could start a new thread later.

This might not be the right place to post this but I'm quite annoyed that in addition to adding an extra ad space to the lounge (I'm sure everyone remembers the hubbub that caused) I just received an email from Bustline advertising the new TLC show Police Women of Broward County. I think this is going too far. They already have all of their ad space on this page devoted to the show but now I'm getting emails that are nothing more than advertisements for this show. Bust needs to slow it down. If there's one thing I know about advertising it's that people hate getting hit over the head with the same message over and over again.

I absolutely agree with you candycane_girl. I was so annoyed to get that email this morning. We have no idea if the show is feminist. Just because it is about women doesn't mean that it is in anyway pro-women.

Add my name to that of being equally unimpressed. TLC is a shit network, I will not support it in anyway.

Fortunately, my email from Bust goes to my crap Hotmail address, so it didn't take up space in my precious Gmail inbox. I didn't even open it, but was still annoyed that they're sending stuff like that out.

I just unsubscribed.

As did I. It's one thing to pimp DIY/indie companies to me while turning me on to useful or interesting stuff, it'a another to cram shite tv in my email.

I know we have a couple threads for parents here as well as a thread for the Child Free By Choice-ers. But what about those of us who aren't sure which path they want to take? What about those of us who are trying to decide whether they want to have children or not? Is there an old thread for people like that? Would anyone out there be interested in participating in that sort of discussion? Or should I just post my questions in one of the threads for existing parents?

That conversation does not belong in Childfree by Choice. There used to be a Childfree Not By Choice thread but I don't think it belongs there either. I would be very interested in that conversation. Can't promise it would last forever but I would like to chat about it.

Kitten, I completely agree that the discussion does not belong in either of those threads (although I'd love to hear from the people who post in those threads who've worked through the same questions). I don't remember there ever being a thread that focused on this sort of indecision, but certainly I'm not the only Bustie who has struggled with this.

By the by, I'm not thinking of it as an advice thread. I'm not going to ask The Internet whether or not I should have a baby! Rather, I'd like to discuss the choice itself, the pros and cons of both decisions, why some people aren't exactly sure what they want to do, and even how others finally came to a decision.

You know, it's not a thread I'd participate in...(I'm a staunch cbc'er), but I do think the thread is a great idea and I already have a name suggestion: "maybe baby?" as in the movie?

That's better than the title I came up with: "Childfree because certain situations make it that way right now."

My only idea so far is "To baby or not to baby: that is the question".

You know, this is just my thinking on the issue, but, I don't think there is anything wrong with looking or asking questions within the CBCers or baby threads. I'm still on the fence about kids, but, I post in the CBCers thread. I just know I don't want kids right now. If you approach it in a noninvasive way, I think people are generally open on here if you have questions IMHO. I utilize my friends IRL to seek out answers about being parents, the decisions to being a parent, and my friends who want to be childfree.

At the same time, I can totally understand wanting a thread for those undecided. I like the title Maybe Baby.

As someone on the CBC side of the fence, I'm all for a separate thread, and I'd be happy to contribute my .02

rose, I think it's a great idea. I definitely consider myself "on the fence" on the baby question (though, if we're viewing it as a spectrum, I lean a little CBC ). Anyway, I would be interested in chatting with busties who consider themselves undecided as well.

The existing threads may be useful for an inquiry or two, but not an ongoing discussion. I love the CBC thread and all the lovely ladies who post there, but it really is a thread for true believers; a lot of the discussion doesn't apply to me and I also think it's unfair to hijack that thread to discuss possibly wanting to procreate. As for the mom/baby/preggo threads, I just wouldn't have anything to contribute.

I like both suggested titles (BTW, Maybe Baby is also the title of a really great book on the child-or-not question).

Well, it sounds like everyone is agreeing to the Maybe Baby thread. Go create the thread Rose!

Thanks for the support, everyone! I started the Maybe Baby thread in Friends & Family.

i'm comin' back around to support stargazer's previous push for a "deep thoughts"/philosophical thread. can i get an amen?

I second this motion. I think some people thought I was looking for a religious/spiritual thread. Um, no. I was thinking more in the vein of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, quantum physics, the film What the Bleep Do They Know?, existentialism, connectedness, etc.

What would we name it?

can't think of a title, but I third it.

I'm for that, too. Something with isms at the end/ Like, all about isms, the philosophy thread...or something. I dunno, it's Monday morning!!

Is it just my imagination, or did someone suggest a bustie book club??

yeah i can't think of anything witty for the thread. i'm as useless as two tits on a boar hog.

just thought I'd toss it out there, although I think there probably wouldn't be enough interest...

cause I'm in the situation now....

a home selling thread? Like, dealing with living in a staged house, showing your house, dealing with realtors, practicality's, etc. Maybe it could also encompass house buying???? I dunno. Just thought I'd toss it out there.

how about "is that all there is?" it's the title of a rather sardonic show tune by leiber and stoller that peggy lee sang.
is that all there is?


it was also in scorsese's existential new york road trip, black comedy film, after hours.

I'd be interested in that tree, but I dont know how much regular traffic it would get.

I like that name for the existential thread! Thanks GT! What does everyone else think?

hey ladies, it's been a long while since i've busted and i thought i'd come back here and start again (with the little time i have).

i've quickly looked in the our bodies, our hells section and didn't see anything related to...vaginal pain (recently diagnosed with vestibulodynia). does a thread with stuff like this already exist?

thanks.

::laughs:: well, i like it anyways, moonbeams.

who were you before cocoabean?
(i'm sorry i can't really help you with the topic.)

Cocoabean, I think the closest I've heard to anything even remotely like vestibulodynia in any of the threads is mention of vaginimus (NOT the same thing, I know.) in the sex threads; there's nothing about it in OBOH. There's a general gyno thread in there somewhere, but it never got much play.

hm...thanks. do you guys think a thread started on this issue - or similar issues would be used much? like a pain thread? if not, that's ok...i'll check out some of the other threads.

the recent moniker (is that the term?) i used was loverufus. i think i've had coffeebean before, which i might have used a little more.

i think i remember the moniker coffeebean before. Welcome back!

I need a fucking place to fucking scream! Anyone seen the fucking virtual fight thread?

Scream away...

Thank you.

do we have a thread on gender? I've been thinking a lot of the ideas of gender in light of all of this media fiasco of Caster Semenya.

If we don't have one, would anyone be interested in a thread about the cross cultural ideas and politics of gender?

I definitely would! I've been getting into a lot of discussions with people about gender lately.