Jan 18 2007, 11:30 AM
dude, there you go. be civil.
would you like it if i justified your cursing at me and being inflamatory by responding in kind like maddy did? too bad, ain't gonna happen. no matter how pissed i am at you, at maddy, at anyone else, no matter how personal the arguement is for me (don't second guess ME on that one either, i'm an abuse survivor and said more in this thread than i normally would have and made myself vulnerable too), no matter any of that, i am not giving out advice that i'm not willing to follow myself. calm down, stop swearing and shouting at people and have a conversation or go away. if you keep up the spewing you will end up on ignore and that would be a shame.
wombat, awesome post. i agree with so much of it. about the boredom in a bdsm relationship~ my dirty lover and i had a night of gorgeous, lovely sweet and gentle sex that blew my mind. it was totally different and so great.
about not involving the non-consentual public, absolutely. i think that's so important as well.
thank you too for keeping your cool. it really helps to prevent ugly blow-ups and keep this place sane. nothing that happens here has to be taken personally unless we choose to do that. we don't even know eachother, it's just text on a screen when you break it down. there are thousands of opinions out there, i don't have much invested in any but my own and that helps me not freak out when i come up against a differing one. this place can be fun and crazy and educational and all sorts of things, whatever we want it to be. it can get shitty too, but Only if we let it.
oh pugs, i love all your posts! you're terrific!
Jan 18 2007, 11:56 AM
Ok, I have a great question for everyone.
I want a pet name to call Mr. Pugs.
So far we’ve experiment with:
Sir (sounds so military but is my favorite of all the ones listed below)
Master (too BDSM for me personally)
Daddy (um…too weird since I call my actual father Daddy)
Baby (he’s not a baby and this seems to take away from the D/s vibe)
Honey or Sweetie (again takes away from the D/s vibe)
Mr. Pugs wants me to think of something that I like to call him when he’s spanking me. He said that I can just call him by his name but the idea of a strong, dominant word that I use only for him turns me on so much. Does anyone have any suggestions? If not I’m probably going to stick to Sir.
Jan 18 2007, 12:02 PM
At the risk of really stepping on a landmine, I am hopping that some of you can help me here: I'm a 45 year old white male. I'm letting everyone know that to be abosultely up front.
I've read some of the stuff in this thread with great interest. My wife and I have exprimented with some very "light" elements of D/s in the bedroom, which both of us have enjoyed. (Me as the "D", she as the "s".)
Anyway, the other night I tried to load the "takeninhand" web-site. No real reason to look; it had been mentioned here and I was curious. It didn't come up very fast and I ended up getting called away from the computer before I could read anything. I didn't turn of the computer, though, and I guess the site did load. Long story short, the next morning my wife got on the computer and the site had loaded. Later that day, she made a joke about me "sending her a message". We both laughed and I thought that was that. Later, though, I completely acidentialy found out that she'd printed of a couple pages from the web-site and was reading them.
Anyway, I think my wife is kind of interested in this. Which, frankly, weirds me out a bit...
I've always thought of myself as pretty egalitarian and my wife and I have an equal relationship. We both work, make about the same amount of money, and we both try to split household duties and raising the kids.
How do I handle this? I confess, I am interested in some elements of BDSM and I think my wife is, too. I think, though, she's a little freaked out by her interest. I'd like to explore this but I really don't want to scare/hurt her or make her feel ashamed of any desires she might have.
Some thoughts / advice would be apprciated.
Jan 18 2007, 12:41 PM
you started off on the right foot by discovering an interest and looking for some info online. i would recommend reading some books on the subject, either on your own or together and discussing how you feel about it. you could experiement with some verbal fantasy during sex to start, my lover used to paint amazing verbal scenarios for us when we were in the midst of some fun. i enjoyed hearing about things that i wouldn't actually like to do for real. like public sex, being blindfolded or tied up and not knowing who was touching me or rougher things than we actually did, etc.
i think the best thing to do is figure out what you'd like to try and go slowly with the mildest of them. progress from there if you find that you both like it and want more, or try something else if that isn't the thing for you.
a very good piece of advice that i got when i first started out was to make sure to read up about the physical aspects of abuse. to know where and how to spank, tie, etc so as to inflict the right level of pain or discomfort without doing any real damage. this i think is very important as you don't want to actually Damage anyone. feeling it later on is great, but being really hurt is not and it's good to know where that line is.
there are so many great books out there, i got a few from the library if you can believe that! this one
was really good, i recommend it.
have fun exploring and feel free to ask again, anytime.
pugs, how about actual names that you give each other for exclusive use in the, i was going to say bedroom but that's just funny. anyhow you know what i mean and then you could call each other by your other names on occasion in public to convey private messages without anyone being the wiser. you would have to keep those names to yourselves and never reveal them to any friends or outsiders to have them be special and powerful. might be fun!
Jan 18 2007, 01:02 PM
Hi Chingus! I'm the one who introduced the takeninhand site and I so pissed that its been down..hopefully they are just switching servers. Anyway, from what I read on that site A LOT of the people on there are like you: couples who have been in an egaltarian relationship for a long time and want to try something new.
You are your wife should communicate what you want. You don't have to totally change, you can keep your career earnings and parenting roles equal, but perhaps start making little decisions that you dont normally. Like your wifes wardrobe,..she usual dresses herself, no? Maybe pick out an outfit, either from her closet or buy something new, and lay it out on the bed. Its a small but powerful sign of your dominance to choose what she wears. She may be thrilled at this, or she may decide to rebel and put something else on. If she rebels then spanking is in order!
My favorite part about a 'Taken in hand' relationship is that its great at stopping arguements. In many couples, the wife goes on and on about something the husband did wrong, and the husband reacts by pouting and stonewalling, like going into the other room and turning on the tv. A dominant man doesnt do this, he instead is tickled by his wife's pestering, and will say something like, "youre so cute when youre angry" or "boy are you gonna get it". If she does start to actually get to your temper, then promptly bend her over and give her bum a smack. Probably will stop the fight cold (as well as heat things up)!
The key is, you dont want to be a bully,.. dominant men shouldnt make their partners cower,..talk with your wife about what line she does not want crossed.
Good luck and I cant wait to hear more!
Pugs, I usually go with Sir or Mister ___(his last name). I too think 'daddy' is too creepy but Mr. is more like you work for him. Or hey, how about Liuetenant! Hee!
Jan 18 2007, 02:59 PM
Sorry in advance but this is a long post!
It’s so irritating that the TIH website is still down.
I always had desires to be dominated. I liked some things about BDSM but not all. I had a mix of feelings, desires and concerns that never really seemed to fit into any category. Nothing in my life ever seems to fit into a category.
When greenbean recommended that I check out a TIH relationship I was open to it like I was about everything else. However, once I checked out the website it was the answer to my prayers. It had everything that I wanted and just a few I didn’t. For example, the maintenance discipline is fantastic. I cry every time and feel cleansed when it’s over. However, I don’t think it’s fair that my Mr. can have a bad day at work and come home and wail on my ass. On the other hand, when Mr. Pug had a bad day last week and came home upset I asked him if he wanted to take his frustration out on me. I like to get spanked and he needed to vent some frustration so why not right?
If this is something that your wife is interested in she may be very, very shy about asking you for this. Before I asked Mr. Pug I was so scared he’d say I was a freak or perverted. It took me almost three days to voice it to Mr. Pugs. I ended up being a chicken shit and sending him an email. When we got home he looked at me and said, “You want me to spank you till you cry and have bruises?” After he said this I felt like I freaked him out a little. I said, “Hey, how about after dinner we just go upstairs and read the website. I’ll tell you what I like and don’t and vice versa and then we’ll talk some more.” He said fine and that’s exactly what we did. We agreed that we would try this way of living for a few weeks and afterwards sit down and discuss it again. If at that time I’m unhappy we can go back to the way things were (NO WAY, NO HOW).
Our rules were simple:
He can spank me when I’ve done something he thinks is disobedient. He has to clearly state what I’ve done and I’m allowed to state my opinion but he still can spank me whether I agree with his decision or not.
He spanks me, usually till I cry, and then he must stay and hold me until I say he can go. If I want to talk or not that’s up to me.
If he’s frustrated with something other then me and just wants to spank me because it helps him feel better I have to agree to let him.
Mr. Pug rewards my obedience with sex and erotic spanking but withholds my orgasm.
He rewards my special attentiveness to his needs by giving me amazing orgasms when I’ve worked hard and deserve them.
His reward for being so kind to me and keeping up with my discipline is him being able to take me whenever he wants.
He never spanks me hard in front of people but he might whisper into my ear that I’m going to get it when we get home followed by a lighter tap on the ass. He’s not out to embarrass me in front of people.
When we first started we both agreed that the only instrument he was going to use to spank me would be his hand. As of this morning we introduced a small flogger into the mix.
Mr. Pug and I agree that we are still equals. Although I’m not working right now because I went back to school we both were contributing equally to the income. We both still share the household chores. Sometimes I get bratty and skip my chores to get a reaction out of him. I think he secretly likes this. I’m still allowed to voice my opinion (in the respective tone). He loves me and knows I’m a strong woman. He wouldn’t want to be with me if I wasn’t. He was absolutely clear that he didn’t want me to loose my identity.
As a result of this new lifestyle I can say I’m noticing so many new things about myself and others. I’ve learned that many people look down on this way of thinking and that it’s best to keep it a little secret between Mr. Pug, myself, one very close friend and the busties here.
Another result is the way Mr. Pug and I treat each other. I think about everything I say to Mr. Pug before I say it. I talk to him with more respect. Now that we are living this way I see how many of my girlfriends talk to their men and they seem so mean and uncaring about how they treat their guy in public and vice versa. I remember how I used to treat Mr. Pugs and wonder why he ever put up with my shit for so long.
I was always a highly emotional woman and would fly off the handle at anytime. I wanted this way of living to help me be more calm and kind. Who better to help me change my personality to what I wanted it to be then the love of my life.
In turn, Mr. Pugs had been much more tender to me. He cuddles, whispers, kisses and just is more kind and gentle. He talks more and expresses his feelings. He is my big strong man and I feel so small and vulnerable in his arms. Mr. Pugs reeks of confidence and his friends have noticed this. I think this makes him feel better about himself. Another thing is that if he does something wrong and I gently point it out to him he apologizes immediately instead of me having to beat it into him that he fucked up and him retiring to his playstation.
Changes for me have been caring more about how I look and taking better care of myself, not to mention my libido that was nonexistent has now shot through the roof. For example, Mr. Pugs and I were having sex once a month before we learned of TIH and now it’s sometimes three times a day. I’m always horny before bed and he’s always horny in the middle of the night. We are both horny in the morning so sometimes we have sex three times in less then 12 hours, before bed, in the middle of the night and in the morning. This may become boring later on in life but for right now it’s not showing any signs of calming down. Even when I think, “Maybe we won’t do anything tonight.” When he lightly smacks my sore bum in front of our friends and gives me a little smile I can’t help but get excited and want him right there on the spot. I feel prettier and more feminine. I never felt particular girly but now I kind of do which is something I always wanted of myself.
I’m just trying to explain to you my initial concerns, how I approached Mr. Pug, his reaction, our game plan, our experiences and the changes I’ve noticed so far. The best piece of advice I can give you is to COMMUNICATE!!! Talk, talk again, research, talk some more, plan ahead, experiment then sit down and talk about it. The good thing is that if you don’t like it you can always stop especially if you lay down some ground rules and start slow.
Good luck and have fun. HAVE LOTS OF FUN!!!
Jan 18 2007, 03:49 PM
Thats sounds wonderful Pugs!
I think the whole idea sounds archaic to the general public (and many feminists)..but if it makes a relationship better and is good for conflict resolution, then gawd bless it!
Some more advice for Chingus (and anyone else who wants to introduce this into a relationship):
Have a movie night that features D/s relationships. Secretary is the more obvious choice because it includes bondage, but that might be a bit much since you are just starting out. More romantic/old-fashioned films would be better to start. It Happened One Night is a good one, (Clark Gable is my favorite Dom icon *swoon*) so is Emma and Pride and Prejudice. The I Love Lucy show is good for reference too. The male leads are dominant but not bullys. An example of a bad dom, one NOT to emulate, would be Marlon Brando in Street Car Named Desire.
Notice that these women characters are not doormats, they are actually very fiesty and bratty, and I would argue feminist (come on, Jane Austen totally wrote feminist characters!). Maybe these films can help your wife understand that she doesn't have to lose her identity in this type of relationship, but instead be more playful with it.
Jan 18 2007, 09:39 PM
Oh, How I've missed this thread.
I would like to address one thing that Maddy asked about, because I think it is a worth while discussion. I know that Tes and I have discussed this before.
The BDSM relationships in here are related to feminism because feminism is not just about over throwing the "shakles that MEN, (oh foul evildo-ers) have placed upon us". Feminism has grown and developed into the ability to choose and be proud of your choice. If I were to choose to be a housewife, would that not be feminist?
We enjoy play. That is not wrong. We are not ashamed of ourselves. We are proud of our sexuality. How is that NOT feminism? I for one have noticed that a large amount of publicly strong women like to feel vulnerable at home.
That is what my play with my husband allows me. I get to be soft, pliable, emotional and he gets to be strong, powerful and the caretaker. In our public lives, I am strong, outspoken, and rebellious. I have allowed my husband to see a vulnerable side of me that almost no one sees. That is why the connection in a BDSM relationship like ours, and like Pug's, is so loving and strong. We see, accept and celebrate a side of each other that we hide from others.
That said, I'd like to address the feeling of being "naughty" in liking BDSM, at whatever level turns you on.
Its funny that in this sex crazed society, we are so repressed and think that our "kinks" are bad. If you watch the movie Kinsey, or read about the Kinsey project, you will find that the majority of people have one "kink" or another. Maybe one woman doesnt like to be tied up and spanked, but she loves to suck her partners toes if he has just taken off his shoes, or maybe one man doesnt like to have a finger inserted in his ass, but likes his penis being whipped. Its all about what your kink is, and knowing what you like in your head and what you like in real life.
I ADORE hard play stories, but in reality, I only want to be pushed to a medium level of pain. What I imagine when I'm thinking of Irishboy's cock pounding my ass may not be what I want in reality, but it gets me going just the same. I fantasize about him flogging me until I bleed, but I cant handle that much pain and still be in the mood for sex.
Know that you are not alone, you are not weird. It REALLY is natural. And remember that being a "freak" in bed is a good thing.
ETA: My husband and I are a lot like Lucy and Dezi, if I were to compare. LOL!
Jan 18 2007, 11:56 PM
Prettynpiiiiink, you've got some 'splainin to do!
Jan 19 2007, 03:09 AM
sure is nice to get a laugh in here for a change.
pugs, word to the raising of conciousness in communication. so many people are abusing their partners as part of daily events and Not in a bdsm context! hardly very satisfying.
Jan 19 2007, 09:10 AM
Jan 19 2007, 10:08 AM
Okay, I don't normally post in here, but for the Busties who have been here for awhile, behaving like cussing banshees, SHAME ON YOU! You know better than that. To the newbies flowing that crap around, LEARN SOME MANNERS AND WALK AWAY.
As far as BDSM goes, sexual fantasies and acting them out are not about politics or feminism per se. A person standing up for what they believe in morally, and then getting freaky in the bedroom with what pleasures them are two different situations.
I agree it can be harmful to have websites depicting these actions when they fall into the wrong hands, but there are people out there, couples, what evs, that are consenting adults that are interested.
I also agree that this is a safehaven for BUSTIES who are interested in this to discuss. NOT for the Feminism police to barge into and start insulting people.
I think it is way feminist to be open to your sexualtiy and fantasies.
And I'm out.
Jan 19 2007, 10:12 AM
The feminist police has posted in the porn thread. Please read.
Jan 19 2007, 10:25 AM
Sanctimony gets you nowhere.
Jan 19 2007, 11:02 AM
Damn! I'ma go get me some popcorn. Can I get anybody anything? Maybe some Red Vines for whipping? They're crazy delicious!
Jan 19 2007, 11:34 AM
QUOTE(auralpoison @ Jan 19 2007, 05:19 PM)
Damn! I'ma go get me some popcorn. Can I get anybody anything? Maybe some Red Vines for whipping? They're crazy delicious!
Jan 19 2007, 12:02 PM
i'll take some red vines AP!! only if you'll feed 'em to me.
wombat~i really love what you had to say about BDSM being boring afte awhile. i know i appreciate the concept and theory behind BDSM. (remember, i'm into freudian psychology--he loved talking about this stuff.) i also think it helps to provide a certain amount of flexibility between partners. you're right. over time, sex does change. and the people included. so our approach has to change for it to be enjoyable to both parties.
chingus~welcome! i think it is cool that your wife and you have a relationship where you can be open about your sex lives. continue this open discussion as you both research the sites and books.
pugs~well, you could say "daddy" in spanish "papi." that's a turn-on. and hell, who isn't turned on by a little spanish dirty talk. and, i lurve reading your posts.
prettyinpink~i'm glad you mentioned your view on this matter. great point.
i keep thinking about "why" (please excuse the psychologist in the room) we still continue to snicker and laugh or find disgusting different forms of pleasure. why does BDSM cause so much of a stir in people? both good and bad. who is it that has the line by john waters always feeling sex will be bad because he was raised catholic. heh. i feel the same way! just kidding.
oh, and i think politics and feminism do play a part in sex. it is all connected. society and history does influence our response to sex and sexuality.
Jan 19 2007, 12:07 PM
Since I want to keep this thread a FUN thread, but also since I want to address some of the drama that went down, I've posted in "feminist outrage" about outrage concerning the takeninhand site.
(pass the popcorn AP!)
Jan 19 2007, 12:37 PM
the following is a true story.
just to keep the thread where i would like for it to be.
I woke up to an intense orgasm rocking me, his steel hard cock fucking my cunt from behind. How does he do that?
I don't know how long I was out. Or whether I passed out from the intensity of the sex, or from the vodka tonics on the plane, or because I fell asleep from exhaustion. When I came to, I noticed that my bonds had changed. Previously, my hands had been above my head, and the straps from the restraints had been wrapped in a figure eight around my wrists. Now, my hands were tied tightly behind my back, and the straps had been looped around my breasts, snugly beneath my painfully hardened nipples. They bit into the sensitive skin, and my breasts throbbed, from both pain and pleasure.
My position had changed, as well. I had been on my back, and later my side, with my legs pulled tightly together and held above my head, in the air. Now I was on my knees, my cheek pushed into the mattress, my naked, vulnerable ass high in the air. He was fucking me from behind. He had both thumbs shoved into my ass hole, his long fingers splayed out on either side, firmly holding me still so that he could drive in deeply. I shivered with the pleasure of it.
When the shaking stopped, he pulled out slowly. I moaned, which earned me a rough slap to my right buttock. It left behind a deep red welt, a perfect imprint of his palm. That's enough, he shushed me. His other thumb popped free of my ass. I felt his weight lift slightly off the bed, as he reached for something sitting on the side table. Moments later, I felt a swipe of moist lube against my rear opening, and the tip of an anal plug pushed into me.
I squirmed, hoping to get the plug further inside. Another swift, forceful slap, this time on the other cheek. I froze instantly, and was rewarded by another inch of plug. Good girl, he murmured. He pushed the plug in and out of my tight ass, going a teeny bit further with each thrust. He leaned down, and I felt the length of his hardness slip between my legs and come to a rest against my cunt slit. He moved his dick back and forth between my cum dampened pussy lips, applying pressure against my clit. What am I doing? he wanted to know. Fucking my ass, I gasped. Instantly, the plug was removed. Wrong, he all but spat.
I whimpered. Please, I said. Put it back. Tell me, he ordered. Or you get nothing. You know, I forced myself to say. You KNOW. No, I do not know. If you don't know either, then you don't deserve it. Tell me, he said quietly. You are, I gasped, you are using a butt plug to fuck me up the ass! Muuuuuuuuuch better, he praised, returning the plug to my yearning hole.
As he continued to rock his dick back and forth between my pussy lips, and to push the plug in and out of my ass, he reached around with his other hand and pinched my nipples cruelly, one after the other, the pain of it rushing through me. Soooooooo good, I breathed.
I knew that I should simply enjoy the sensation of the plug inside me, but I wanted more. I thrashed wildly, and ground against his raging hard cock. As if in response, the plug was suddenly gone. Nooooo, nooooo! Give it back, I whined. Oh? he queried.You want it back, do you?? Seconds later, I felt the mushroom soft tip of his dick positioned against my hole. You want the plug? He pushed forward, and his cock sank into me past his head ridge. You don't want my cock? Well, all right, then… he crooned, and I could feel him pulling out. NO!!! I screamed. NO!!!
No? What??? You don't want the plug, either??? Okay, we can stop, then, he informed me. I was close to tears. I flashed briefly on the prospect of being left alone for the rest of the night, bound and burning, cum dripping out of me, with no cock, no plug, no relief. No, I panted, No. NO!! I mean… yesssss???he taunted me. What exactly DO you mean, then? I want your cock, I moaned. I want your cock. in me. in my ass. I.want.you.to FUCK ME. FUCK MY ASS WITH YOUR COCK. FUCKME! Oh, that! That's what you want? Of course, he teased. Why didn't you say so? And then there it was, rigid, pushing insistently into me again. I could feel the tension of the ring of muscle around my anus strech open as he shoved into me, and then close tightly as his girth was swallowed into darkness. He stopped, and pulled out bit by bit until only the head was left, then pushing back in just a bit more each time. Again and again, until, finally, he was in up to the hilt. I could feel his balls tickling my clit. He stopped to savour the feeling. A thousand nerve endings were screaming inside me. His dick throbbed, swollen with cum. He withdrew, and then slammed home. The pressure built inside me. Nnnnnngggggh. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Fuck me, fuck me. FUCK ME!!!i babbled. Yeah, baby, he responded. I'm fucking you. I'm fucking you GOOD. And indeed he was. You are gonna know it, too! You are gonna know that I fucked you up the ass. UP THE ASS. You feel that? What do you want now? Oh oh oh, I want your cum. I want to feel your cum. I want you to shoot your hot white cum into me, into my ass hole. GIMME YOUR CUM. COMEIN ME, COMEINME!!! I WANT YOUR CUM!!!!!
Yeah? Yeah? That what you want, huh??? He responded. Good, cause that is what you are gonna GET. I'm gonna pump your tight, hot hole fulla CUM. MY CUM. Oh, yeah, oh yeah. I begged him. Give me your cum. I want your CUM!! Your cum is MINE. FUCK YEAH, he told me. Take it, I'm coming in you! he shuddered. And he exploded deep inside me, the spurt spurt spurt spurt pulsing over and over in my ass, gushing out and filling me up compleatly.
Later, when we could both breathe normally again, he told me how beautiful I was, with my bound breasts and swollen cunt and my ass hole covered in his ejaculate. He gave me more instructions. Now that I had been marked again as his, I was not to wash. I was to let his cum stay inside me, although I was fairly sure that the cum he had shoved up my ass would take days to drip out. I tried to tell him that, but he would have none of it. It doesn't matter, he said. By then, you will have more to replace it. I smiled at the prospect.
Jan 19 2007, 02:45 PM
And thank you, Tesao, for THAT! (fans oneself).
Ok, now that the TiH site is back up I think everyone has rushed over there (?)
I wanted to make sure everyone saw this article: http://www.takeninhand.com/node/1121
because its an interesting read from a dominant man who felt he had to suppress his dominant tendancies.
Jan 19 2007, 04:18 PM
tesao, seriously. *fans self*
Jan 19 2007, 04:26 PM
Tes makes my girly parts tingle.
Jan 19 2007, 04:33 PM
Thanks for that.
I feel somewhat responsible for the shit going down. Had I not expressed that BDSM wasn’t really for me and that I was looking for something more 24/7 then the Takin in Hand website wouldn’t have been suggested and none of this would have gone down. I’m sorry! I was looking for my place in something I new I enjoyed. I didn’t want to offend anyone. I can see how someone who was abused could take me posting that my welts excited me the wrong way. I'm not going to post in the BDSM room for a while. The whole Takin In Hand / BDSM controversy is irritating to me and so is the fact that it is so looked down upon and considered not feministic by some busties. I'm actually uncomfortable talking about it anymore. After reviewing my old posts and some other posts I really feel worse then when I started. Maybe when things chill I’ll start posting in here again. For now I’m just going to keep it to myself. Hope that doesn’t “offend” anyone. Don’t want to start another fight. I guess I’m still “new” and all so I’m just going to exit graciously until the dust settles.
Jan 19 2007, 04:47 PM
oh, well that sucks. and not in the good way either.
don't stress yourself taking responsibility for someone else's reaction to stuff, k? you didn't invent it, it's not your job to protect people from it either. or from themselves!
don't stay away for too long
Jan 19 2007, 04:48 PM
Pugs, dear, shush. You have nothing to apologize for! ESPECIALLY since you expressed a very real, honest desire for a lovingly dominant relationship. You are not at fault for someone taking something out of context. If I were your husband, I would spank you for that apology.
I've been reading the Taken in Hand site and I've noticed that, almost without talking about it, my husband and I have slipped into this type of behavior. I have always liked the idea of a 50's housewife, however, I was raised to be strong and independant. Irishboy and I are both "old fashioned", him because his father was the breadwinner, and since Irishdad was a navy careerman, Irishma was a stay at home mother so that the kids had a sense of stability, and me because my father walked out on us, then back in, then back out, then went crazy, and I need a sense of security from the men in my life.
When I'm a "good housewife" he is happy, he cooks for me, puts on music and asks me to dance in the kitchen, he kisses my shoulders, neck and forehead lovingly; he showers me with affection... and spanks me, and bites me hard enough to buise, etc.
Again, pugs, you are not out of line asking for beyond bdsm. DO NOT let someone who doesnt understand shame you into being quiet about your love. You have had endless responses from many of us saying that we love your posts, and only one person berating them. Please dont let one apple sour the whole crop.
Jan 19 2007, 09:09 PM
You were handling it so well! Personally, I'm glad you posed the question that got this thread resurrected. I've been on Bust for years and it wasn't until a few months ago that I started to talk about this stuff.
I admit, with all the attention we are getting I'm sure there is a lot more lurkers, and it does make me a bit more embarrassed. Hopefully folks who arent into this stuff can leave us be...or like Doodle, pop in to give us extra fanning!
PiP, Irishboy sounds divine!
Jan 19 2007, 09:20 PM
A poem of mine, for you:
in him I am safe
in him I am secure and warm
he permeates my thoughts and
I yearn for him as an addict
only my fix
is the taste of his lips
pressed so warmly
accepting my total surrender
to his hands
he honors me
as he kisses my hand
and orders me about
happly I comply
knowing that he is my-
my heart, my pulse
that pulse that throbs
when his hand is put to my
oh so willing ass
to adhere to his standards
for inner peace
lion quieting lioness
his force quelling mine
In him I drown
In him I am protected
Jan 19 2007, 11:09 PM
I don't really lurk here, but it was tesao's post that drew any real interest from me (tesao + doodlebug =
), and not so much the battle that went before (honestly? don't care - battles are normal to feminism, and are necessary for feminism to grow). Please do not feel shy about the potential for increased lurkibility just because of my last post! I'm sure lots of people probably already lurk in a thread like this, and will have varied reasons for not disclosing their presence (which probably have nothing to do with anyone here!).
And I also wanted to delurk this 2nd time, as "a" feminist (and a pretty radical one, I feel) to say that: 1) lovemypugs, you have a total right to your desires, and if you can find a safe, sane, and consensual way to express them, then you owe nobody any explanations for doing so; and 2) lovemypugs, you are not responsible for triggering someone else's psychological/emotional responses - each one of us is responsible for how we filter in the information we receive, and no one doesn't know what they're getting when they walk into this thread.
Ok, I'm going now, back to the security of Okayland!
Oh, and also I think I might have a few latent Domme tendancies. I'll keep you posted, should I discover anything new in that direction.
Jan 20 2007, 07:42 AM
That poem is really beautiful! Kind of took my breath away. I'm going to print it and keep it close to me when I'm feeling a little insecure.
Jan 20 2007, 09:11 AM
always glad to oblige, especially when i think it might attract the fine ms. doodlebug.
PnP, that was beautiful.
even more so because it kept pugs in here with us. (((((love my pugs))))) i'm so sorry about all of the nastiness, querida. i'm MUITO happy that you are here. you are NOT bad or anti-feminist. you are a responsible adult who is going about the business of making her life - and that of her lover - better and happier. which is something that you deserve. you are only responsible for yourself, just as everyone else is only responsible for their OWN actions. NONE of us is responsible for someone else's triggers. we all have control over how we choose to react, and this thread is brazenly open about what it is. people who don't agree with the content are not being dragged in here and forced to read our posts or to have any opinion whatsoever about what we do with our OWN PRIVATE lives.
gah. i keep hoping that i can get this out of my system. maybe now.
let me just reiterate how glad i am that pugs is in here, because she is a wonderful person and a great addition to the lounge, and because she got this thread going again. i've missed it!
can i just say that now whenever i look at the photo of your two pugs, i think of them as you and mr. pugs? the mr is the one in front - you are the one in back, with the collar and leash.
which makes me wonder -- did you ever get the collar that you were looking at?
Jan 20 2007, 12:40 PM
i'm sorry what? does someone need a collar? i just happen to have one that i MADE that i don't want anymore. i just packed up but maybe i can find it before we go?...
it has spikes and a d-ring because i'm a switch. hee hee. and it's small 'cause i'm that too.
Jan 21 2007, 11:23 AM
OK, OK, I’M BACK! I’M WEAK AND I JUST CAN’T STAY AWAY!!!!
Mr. Pugs and I were just discussing a collar. Thanks for asking. He said he was a little uncomfortable with a leather collar cause he doesn’t think of me as his dog or pet. He thinks of me as his submissive wife-to-be. He knows I love jewelry and asked if I’d like something more pretty. He suggested an ID necklace that say’s Mr. Pugs name and an apostrophe “s” for ownership that I can wear either under my shirt or out of my shirt when I want but I’d have to keep it on all the time. I think a thick silver ID necklace draped across my neck while I’m naked waiting for him to come and take me anyway he wants is incredible sexy. He was thinking as a Valentines gift for me. I think it’s a fabulous idea and I’m excited to go shop for one. Right now he just asks me when I leave everyday if I have my collar (engagement ring) and my leash (cell phone) with me. I giggle and say yes and he smacks me on the ass, kisses me on the forehead and says, “That’s my good girl. Have a great day today. See you tonight.” I wish I could just have him between my legs all the time. He feels so perfect there. He fucks with me constantly. I wake up in the middle of the night with his rock hard cock between my ass cheeks and when I roll over to respond he says something like, “No, I’m tired so you have to wait. Now go back to sleep.” HOW TIRED CAN HE BE WHEN HIS ROCK HARD COCK IS SO CLOSE TO BEING IN MY ASS??? I’m in a constant state of butterflies. Whenever my ass is hanging out of my panties and he’s in the room I’m always flinching expecting to be spanked while washing dishes. He got me really good last night and he was admiring his handiwork this morning in the shower. I love the look he gives me. I was being a little bratty last night at my parents and when we got home he was so ready to deliver a spanking to me. He was smiling when we walked in the front door of our house and the whole way up the stairs to the bedroom. He’s so bad! I love it. Ok, gotta go.
I’ll check back later…
Jan 21 2007, 07:32 PM
Also, you might want to check these out:http://www.bodycircle.com/merchant.ihtml?id=18&step=2
This is a body jewelry company that makes beautiful stuff. I have always loved these collars.
Jan 22 2007, 02:57 PM
Knew you'd be back, Pugs!
Hey, does anyone else deal with real life bad incidents by fetishizing them? I suppose maybe thats why certain women who have been abused can turn around and re-live abuse in a pleasurable way. On a smaller scale I feel like I've done that too, at least fantisized about it. Heres an example:
Last week I had a very real incident with a police officer, I got a traffic ticket for a very silly reason, I didn't deserve it, and the officer was totally a jerk and the thing was all very upseting. I think that feeling of frustration and vulnerability manifested itself into a sexual fantasy, maybe as a way for me to mentally deal with the ordeal in a pleasurable way...Anyway, a night soon after that incident as I was falling asleep I started to imagine the senario, except I moved the scene to London and the officer was on horseback, and I was sitting in my parked car at night in a city park.
The officer gets off his horse and comes towards me, I hear the friction of his leather boots against his tight trousers as he walks. As he leans in the window I see that he is quite young, but also quite strong and authoritative. "Miss, what are you doing here? Can't you see the postings? No overnight parking.".."I'm sorry sir, but I had to leave the situation at the place I'm staying at and I had no where to go".."Well, I'm sorry miss but you cant stop here." "I don't see the problem. I think I'll stay thank you." ..With this the officer slowly curls his lips in a cocky sideways grin, then he cocks his cap a bit foward, "Weelllll, look who doesnt want to obey the law? Why dont you step out of the car, miss."
"I dont think thats necessary, sir" The officer smiles wider, calmly turns back to the horse, pulls something out of the saddlebag, and swaggers back toward me. "You get out of the car right now miss, I dont like leaning in your window. You either get out so we can talk face to face, or else I'm going to have to pull you out and use these on you." With that he presents a pair of handcuffs, and slyly strokes his baton in its harness. Stunned, I exit the vehicle and timidly walk toward him. He towers a good 6 inches above me, and I begin to tremble.
"Miss, I'd like you to turn around and put your hands on the hood"..."Why!? I thought you said you wanted to talk face to face? Really, I'm quite tired of all this and I'm not going to stand for this harrassment!" As I turn to get back in my car he swiftly grabs the back of my shirt, leads me to the hood, and places my hands on it. His leather glove-clad hands are strong and warm and wrapped around my wrists, I feel his hot breath against the back of my neck. I am frozen, my desire to struggle is replaced by a desire to stay put and do whatever he says. After a moment his lips come close to my ear and his voice is lowered into a wicked British purr.
"Your behavior has been absolutely dreadful. Its unacceptable. When I ask for something I expect to get it without hesitation. You Americans come over here and think you are above us. Well, sweetie, you are in the UK now, and you are going to have to answer to us while youre here. Perhaps you are not afraid of the law here because we don't carry pistols? Well, we certainly don't need them to cause intimidation, do we princess?" I can't respond with words but instead with heavy breath. I look ahead into the trees that lead to darkness, ..there is not a soul around..
"Take off my pants" I gasp, surprising myself at my sudden arousal. "Persisely what I expected. You little American brats have far too much freedom and priviledge....." he removes a glove, wraps his arm around the front of my waist, and dips a hand down my trousers. .."....doesn't surprise me one bit that you wet your knickers when you are finally show some real leadership" I moan as he yanks my bottoms down,..he backs away from me, "My what a perfect arse you have, pity I'm going to have to punish it." I turn my head and watch him slide his baton out of its harness. "Did I say you could turn around?" he playfully hisses. "No sir" I turn back to face the trees. He comes up close again, this time I can feel his hardened cock snug in his trousers, pushing against my ass.
"I think you are finally learning to listen, but just in case you resist, put you hands behind your back." I oblige and he snaps the handcuffs in place, then he gently curls his fingers around my hair, and leads my head down to rest against the hood. "Spread your legs" he whispers close in my ear. I do about an inch. "wider" he insists, I go another inch. "I don't think you are listening..." he says as he tugs a bit at my hair, "are you going to do what I say or do I have to get rough?" I spread my knees a good foot apart, my ass high in the air. He lets go of my hair and steps back. I begin feel the cool smoothness of his baton as he runs it over the contours of my inner thighs. Then he lifts it up against my pussy and drags it back and forth, the tip lightly tugging at my clit. I groan with pleasure and the baton becomes slick with my juices. After a few moments he slowly drags the tip up to my ass, lightly circling the entrance, "no, no" I whimper. He chuckles a bit, and brings it back to my clit.
"Are you going to fuck me?" I say breathlessly. "That all depends, are you prepared to be more obediant to officers of the law?" My stubborness comes back, "No!" I hear the cackle of the baton dropped to the cement, then I feel the sting of a loud smack resonating on my bum. "Oww!" I cry. He does it again, and again. "okay OK, I will be a humble, obediant tourist I swear!"
"Grand. Now, lets see how a bad little American girl reacts to getting the pounding of her life," he says as I hear the jangling of his belt buckle as he drops his tousers. I eagerly brace myself as he slowly enters my pussy with what feels like a large, rock-hard cock. He slowly goes deeper and deeper as my pussy opens up a little more at a time..once he is completly in as far as he can go, he swiftly pulls out and rams it back it. I gasp and moan as he does indeed give me the pounding of my life, alternating between having his hands flat on the hood at my shoulders, and grasping at my hips. He starts to push me closer towards to car, so that my clit begins to gently bump against the cold exterior. He may be a brut but he is a considerate one! I start to reach climax and based on his grunts, he is too..."oh god! why are you doing this to me?" I cry, "because you looove it" he coos, and after a few more deep hard thrusts we both explode into orgasm..
he drops ontop of me, panting in my tosled hair. Once composed, he pulls his trousers back up, unsnaps my cuffs, and returns to his patient horse to retrieve a clipboard. I pull up my on trousers and turn to face him. "Now, you've gotten off too easy, I'm going to have give you a ticket for that traffic violation" "What?!" I stomp my foot. "After all that?" "Shhhh" he presses a gloved finger against my lips. "its the law my dear" he grins and hands me the ticket then he leaps up atop his horse and takes off. I look down at the ticket, there is no fine, instead he has scrawled across it, "That was bloody fucking good, wasn't it?" ....And indeed it was. ((floggers)))
Jan 23 2007, 05:44 AM
That is one hell of a dream. I recently had a real life event but it was an entirely different situation. I’m going to school full time now and taking 18 credits. It’s very overwhelming. The one class I’m taking is Algebra & Trigonometry. I went to the first class and was a little confused with some of the stuff “we should know” from the prerequisite. I did the homework and had a few questions so I went to the Math Lab and got some help. The next class I was even more confused and when I sat down to do the homework I was so frustrated I just closed the book. I did this for the next two classes and then was so frustrated I skipped a class. When I got home I told Mr. Pug the class was canceled, which was a lie. He believed me. Yesterday I stayed home determined to catch up on the Math homework and still I procrastinated. Mr. Pugs got home early from work and asked why I wasn’t in school. I made up another lie that he believed. Later in the evening I was so overcome with guilt from lying to him twice that I was sitting on the couch with tears in my eyes. He asked what was wrong with genuine concern. I asked him if we could talk cause I had something to tell him that was going to upset him. I told him that I had lied to him twice and that I was frustrated with my math class. I was crying as I explained. He was so calm. He said, “Get the book and let’s look at.” So he sat down with me at the dinning room table and we went through the first homework assignment I skipped and he did three quarters of it with me. When he felt confident that he could walk away and I could keep working he said, “Don’t put it off like this again, OK?” I said, “Yes Sir.” He said, “Good girl.” I asked him if he was mad at me and he said no and that he understood my frustration. I’m really terrible at Math and always have been. Later on when we sat down to watch some TV he told me to lie over the ottoman. He pulled my jeans and panties down and smacked me very, very hard on the ass; harder then he’s ever hit me before. He said, “I love you and I’m always here to help you but you can’t lie to me and procrastinate with your homework. Promise me you won’t do it again.” I was really crying from the pain and from lying and disappointing him. I felt like a real shit. Afterwards, he just held me on the couch and then when we went to bed he made love to me and told me how smart I am and that I need to have the same confidence I exhibit in bed in other aspects of my life. I was crying again and he just held me all night. It was wonderful.
Jan 25 2007, 10:33 AM
Heh!! I love that, greenbean!
My own scenario involves a teacher/student thing (taking turns) but it is getting oh. so. tired. I think our respective childhoods are too far in the dim past.
For you Pugs, it is working! Work it, work it!!
Me and my guy need to cadge about for new stuff -- there IS a Fetish Fleamarket Fair this weekend...
Jan 25 2007, 10:56 AM
wow, greenbean. *fans self* that was so hot. i'm seriously going to have to talk myself down now. or maybe not...
Jan 25 2007, 10:59 AM
This is a thread that, to be honest, I never really came in bc i figured it was about what I thought of as BSDM which would be your typical, pain inducing, ropes, etc etc sort of thing., None of which i have issues with, it just doesnt do it for me. However, with the latest debacle(s) I was lurking a bit more, and realize that is not what this thread is necessarily about at all. It's that and much more. I also took a gander at takeninhand.com which was given to us by the oh-so-lovely greenbean and really, it just sorta hit home (in a good way). I can't thank greenbean enough, bc like her and many others (hi Love My Pugs-congrats on your newfound fun with Mr pug) i didnt even really want to address this aspect of my sexuality bc i figured it meant i was a bad, horrible feminist. I felt ashamed (feminist shame-ha how funny that is considering i grew up catholic!) but everyone here, and that site, has really helped me realize that it doesnt have to be that way at all, so i wanted to thank everyone for that. Also, i wanted to mention that I'll probably be in here a bit, since apparently, i AM into it:) I know this thread has its regulars, so i dont want to step on any toes as a new person here, so ill lurk for a bit.
also greenbean, that story was A-mazing.
Jan 25 2007, 11:41 AM
I was wondering where you have been. I haven’t seen you in quite some time. I think the thing that shocked me the most about TakenInHand and even domestic discipline relationships is that usually the person in the relationship that is requesting this type of change is the woman. Even Mr. Pug was like, “Are you sure you want this?” There is an article on TakenInHand.com written by a woman who says that she believes this is something she has unconsciously wanted since she was a young girl in her early teens. I absolutely feel the same way. I was sexual at an early age with guys in my neighborhood. I honestly think it has something to do with my father never showing me any emotional or physical affection. My father was certainly a disciplinarian but never in a, “I’m doing this cause I love you” way. I never and still don’t feel loved by my father. I feel like a big disappointment to him. I feel like I always have to be what he wants me to be. Mr. Pug on the other hand has always encouraged me to be myself. When we weren’t having sex he would always say, “What do you want? I’ll do anything that will turn you on.” I remember him saying something like, “I’ll come in your arm pit if that turns you on. I just want you to be happy and the sexual goddess I know you can be.” The problem was I didn’t know or didn’t want to admit what I liked. That all changed when greenbean suggested the TakenInHand website.
Last night I have to say we had our first non erotic, non disciplinary spanking session. It was fun. Mr. Pug had me on my stomach on the bed and we were watching some comedy special and he was wailing on my ass with TWO HANDS! He was doing the hard, quick spanks on both cheeks. Sometimes he’d slow down and try to catch me off guard. He’s so good at catching me off guard. The quick, hard spanks stung so much that I was screaming and laughing in the pillow and wiggling around yelling stop, stop, stop but all I could do was laugh. I tried to role away but he kept grabbing me and pulling me back to him. The dogs were barking at him because I guess they thought he was hurting me, which he was but in a good way. He was laughing so hard and afterwards he said it was fun watching me wiggle and trying to maintain composure under his hand while laughing and yelling into the pillow. Afterwards he held me and we feel asleep.
I think my issues with feeling guilty about liking this sort of sex play also come from being Catholic. I can only imagine what my priest would say if I told him Mr. Pug spanks me when I’m a “bad girl”.
He’s a young priest so maybe he wouldn’t be so shocked.
Anyway! Glad you are here katiebelle.
We need an "ouch" smilie so I can put her after the word spank
Jan 25 2007, 12:19 PM
Yeah I have been MIA, busy with work and other fun stuff lol.
I don't know where I get it from. Its interesting that you can see it coming from your father. My father however was probably one of the best fathers anyone could ever ask for. affectionate, always is proud of me etc etc. However what IS funny is that he wasnt the disciplinarian, and hes not your typical "guy". hes a feminist, he abhors things like porn and strip clubs, hes a very refined, lawyer intellectual. My type of guy is the complete opposite! I mean, i want him to be intellectual but have that edge that i think both you and i have spoken about before in one of the threads. I know greenbean and I have lamented the fact that we want a nice alpha male type that is an animal, almost to the point of being degrading, in bed. Maybe that comes from my dad too somehow? who knows. its all sooo freudian!
As for being catholic, yeah, that guilt comes up every once in awhile for me as well (i also was very sexual at a young age with guys!). i can tell you that the priest would object less to what you do in the bedroom and more to the fact that you are doing it outside of marriage! you know how that whole thing goes:)
perhaps its that we know we are strong, able women, we are feminists, yet we want someone else to take the reigns in a personal relationship, and we find it hot when a guy just takes charge. what you have been describing LMP has just been great, and i am so jealous i cant even begin:)
i havent even gotten halfway through taken in hand, and while i definitly dont agree with some people on there (in terms of the anti feminist stuff) i agree and enjoy most of it, and realize that indeed, you can be a feminist AND want this. It's these kinds of things that we need to learn are not mutually exclusive. I think most of us can agree that wearing makeup doesnt make you a bad feminist, but these types of things are still highly debateable, as we saw with the recent melee.
Jan 25 2007, 12:30 PM
I’ve been sneaking into the bathroom all day at school to do my business and also to look at red marks still left from last night’s escapade with Mr. Pug. We shower together a lot of the times and he likes to pinch where my butt is red. It usually makes me jump or say, “Ouch, stop that!” which he then bends me over in the shower and explains that I don’t get to tell him to stop that anymore. He can do what he wants, when he wants and usually follows this up with a couple of hard swats on my already sore ass. I have to say today is the sorest I’ve been. I’m hoping he’ll leave my butt be tonight. I need a day to heal. He’s very understanding so I’m sure all I have to do is explain and he’ll give me a night off.
Well, I’m off to Sociology!
Talk to you all later tonight or early tomorrow…
Jan 25 2007, 12:34 PM
I would have to say I agree with katiebelle--I mean, I have avoided this thread cause I thought it was mostly for hardcore bdsm-ers. I guess my bf and I have been doing bdsm-lifestyle-relationship this whole time (5-6 years), but "unofficially". I mean we never made a decision to do that, it just is how it is. We don't have official play times, or code words, it's a lif
I get spanked and goosed for being bad (whining). If I'm good I get pampered. If I'm *really* bad, well, that belongs in the anal thread.
Jan 25 2007, 02:21 PM
Glad to be of service folks!
YEAHHHHH!! Go_Kayte and Katiebelle!!! Glad to have you in here!!
I totally know what you mean about not thinking we were into this stuff. Its actually D/s that most of us here are into, not BDSM. I've done light bondage, but the whole gags and leather and "yes master" stuff is a little too Dungeons and Dragons for me. D/s is more about everyday power play, key word being PLAY, cuz if it isnt fun then its abuse. Go_Katye, sounds like you and your dude have a classic TiH relationship, and I envy you cuz like I said before, I think its such a great way to stop whining and petty fights.
Yeah Pugs, it has been discovered in the D/s community that there are wayyyy more women who want this than men (it even says so on wikipedia
) . I dont know if its because in nature there are just more betas then alphas, or if men of our generation are brought up to be less dominant. I know in my experience of all the guys I've been with, 95% of them are lazy and uncreative in bed, 3% are creative but *they* want to be the sub, 1% are alphas but of the asshole variety, and 1% are creative, kind yet dominant alphas.
I was so frustrated with the argument on the "blamers" thread about TiH, because the main point they were making was that all men are cavemen anyhow, expecting women to be subservient partners, so a woman being submissive somehow embraces the status qou/patriarchy system. Bullshit! If all men are naturally dominant then how come I keep striking out in finding them?!? If anything I think this lifestyle is bucking the status quo. Yes there ARE some women who just want someone else to do all the thinking for them, who want to be a Stepford wife, and I do cringe when I read the TiH posters who are like that...but I think the majority of women into this stuff are very strong, smart, independent and funny, and want a man who is their 'match'. Just like in feminism, there is a diverse group that identifies with D/s.
Katie, my dad sounds just like yours! Hes a very liberal, intellectual, feminist and did all the cooking and gardening at our house. He was very involved in my growing up and never ever punished me. Sometimes I wonder since I didnt get much discipline as a child I crave it now. I was seeing a therapist for a while and I asked her why I could never fall for the nice, sensitive guys I was dating. She said, "cuz you already have a nice, sensitive guy in your life: your dad! You want a partner that can offer something you dont have".
The Catholic thing is interested too,..I myself am a "recovering catholic"
ETA: Maybe cuz Catholics worship suffering and martyrdom?
I'm mean, look at who we make Saints! I've never thought about it that way!
Jan 25 2007, 05:54 PM
it's so funny how most of us are lapsed catholics in here!! myself included!!
i have to look at the takeninhand site again since it is back up.
pugs, i love reading your posts. spanking is great. i also love how you are able to connect your own relationship with your father and your relationships. i can totally relate.
greenbean, i think you are right to say that women want their "match." that's how i feel. flexibility is key. i want a guy to take control and at the same time allow me my own space and independence.
welcome go_kayte and katiebelle!! anybody can post in here. it is not restricted to just certain folks.
the more the merrier!
Jan 26 2007, 10:00 AM
Not that there was anything wrong with your observation but I’m myself am not a lapsed catholic. I love being Catholic. I always have. If I wasn’t in school 12 hours a day (literally 9 a.m. – 9 p.m.) I’d be at Church everyday. At one point, when I wasn’t in school and only working part time I did go to church every morning and rosary before hand. I do my rosary on the couch at night while Mr. Pug watches a movie. He used to tell me to do it out loud (I think it secretly turned him on).
I was out of Catholic school three months when I met Mr. Pug. He always says he wishes he could have seen me in my white shirt and skirt walking to and from school. He’s so bad.
I go to confession at least once a year, which is honestly as often as I can force myself to do it. I’m always a little ashamed of myself for not going to confession more but I always apologize to God for my sins on my own time.
I don’t take everything Catholics believe in to an extreme. I’m not married and have been with Mr. Pug 11 years this July and we do live together. It’s what we’ve chosen for each other. God knows our reasons and I believe he doesn’t consider what we do a sin. He knows I love him and I pray to him constantly.
I do think Catholics carry a lot of guilt with them in live from the way they are taught growing up whether it be Catholic school or Sunday school. A quote from Dogma, “Catholics don’t celebrate their religion. We mourn it.” I however, find teachings in church to be inspiring and moving.
Mr. Pug hates to go to church with me. He thinks its way too serious and he always tries to make me laugh. We traditionally fast for at least an hour before we go and so he’s always hungry and threatens to take the bowl of “bread” and run out of the church with it. He always tells me to be ready in the “get away” car out front. He loves me so he continues to go. He joked once about whipping me with a bunch of palms on Palm Sunday.
I have to say in my situation it’s defiantly my dad. I was always hit in anger and now I want to be hit in love. I guess other people just don’t want to be hit at all and that’s fine but I still like my play rough.
Last night I was so tired at school and Mr. Pug called me and asked me if I remember to feed the dogs. He sounded pissed like I’d forgotten. I answered him in a not so nice tone saying, “YES, I FED THE DOGS WHY?” I clamped my hand over my mouth as soon as this slipped out the way it did cause I knew I just sealed my fate.
He said, “Why are you yelling at me? I just asked you a question. I got them new food and they are devouring it like they haven’t eaten in months and I was just curious.” Of course I apologized immediately and told him that I was honestly tired and shouldn’t have taken it out on him. He didn’t really say anything… until I got home that is. I got two hard smacks in the kitchen not more then ten minutes after I got home. Then he sat down with me to eat dinner and asked how things went at school today and why I was stressed. I told him it was my Math class again. I got a 96 % on my first Math quiz but I’m nervous about the first test being that there is going to be a lot more questions. He asked for my quiz and I gave it to him and he stuck it up on the fridge. He was really proud of me and this gesture was really cute.
Ok, as much as I’d love to keep typing I have to get my ass to school. Only one class today but a birthday party for my niece tonight so I won’t be home till late. Hopefully, I’ll post either late tonight or early tomorrow.
Happy Friday Floggers!
Jan 26 2007, 10:15 AM
Eh dont worry about the confession thing LMP, I am convinced its just so horny, pathetic priests can hear the dirty details about other peoples lives. Pretty sure jesus didnt say anything about confession. See, thats the only problem i ever really had with catholicism, the catechism. it has no basis in any sort of reality. its basically what a bunch of popes decided, usually for political reasons. i loved the davinci code for that reason, even if its not all true.
in any case, i would call myself a "recovering" catholic, but 18 years of catholic school is not exactly something you recover from quickly:) i just remember a nun telling me that she knew the sophomore class drank outside of school bc the holy spirit told her so. i was like um can i have whatever drugs you are on weirdo!
anyway back to the topic at hand. part of me feels like that one of the reasons i was bored with my last boyfriend (even though he was hot and everything-i couldnt figure out my issue!) is that sexually it wasnt happening, but perhaps, siince hes perfect in almost every other way, this could turn things around? i am going to think about this. the whole thing is, does anyone here think it would be hard for a normally very mild mannered boy who was raised to be very respectful of women by his single mother could pull it off?
Jan 26 2007, 11:30 AM
Congrats on your math quiz Pugs!
When I was a good catholic girl I loved confession, I only wished that I had worse things to confess (!) cuz the preist always seemed bored with the same old "I called my sister a butt-head" confessions. I think I yearned for more punishment actually. I still have this little book about Saints that I adored as a little girl. All the illustrations where of these beautiful people with halos and tears in their eyes as they looked upward, and the stories that followed usually ended with "they sacrificed their life for their faith". Somehow that seemed very attractive to me...and hardcore! Talk about masocist!
Katie, if your are thinking about getting back with your old boyfriend then perhaps you two can discuss this? I know it would be embarassing but if the two of you are still into each other then maybe a change can happen. Its best to take it slow tho. Does he give any inkling that he desires to be dominant? The last guy I dated I knew there was not a chance. He loved to be the servicer and worshiper. I tried to get him to let me worship him a bit, but after giving it a try he outright said it made him uncomfortable. He was raised by his older sister and grandma cuz his folks were junkies, and I think he was used to women being in charge and he was happy to be their little helper. He was practically in love with his sister, always fawning over her. Anyway, that doesnt necessarily mean all men raised by women lack a dominant nature, I think some may actually be very dominant, if they had to be the "man" of the house.
Theres tons to read on TiH regarding this, because it is something women try to bring into the relationship more often than it already being there.
I wonder what happened to ChingusKhan?! I thought he'd come back to report
Jan 26 2007, 01:39 PM
I actually could send him the site. We dated for 4 years so I feel like I can do this with minimal embarassment. He has seen me at my worst after all.
I used to tell the priest at confession in high school that I was having great sex and I didn't feel bad about it. It was fantastic to see their faces. I mean, what do you say to that? I will admit to willingly and gleefully tormenting catholic clergy. At the march for womens lives in 2004 we walked by a slew of priests calling us baby-killers and whatnot, i walked up to them and said "excuse me, but what exactly do YOU know about children other then how to molest them?" shut them right up.
Jan 27 2007, 10:18 AM
greenbean~i was wondering if he would report back too! where are you chingus??
pugs~that's so awesome that you are proud of your catholicism. i just thought it was an interesting observation. congrats on your quiz and spanking!!
so, this local women-friendly sex shop is having a workshop on BDSAM. it is being given by a professional dominatrix. i think i might go to it.
Jan 27 2007, 10:57 AM