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girltrouble
was reading some of the old posts here and just missing some of the posters who contributed to this thread.

culture (whatever happened to your whip?), aural, ophelia, p176, mornington, tesao, dayglowpink, pugsy, candycane, glassk, pretty in pink, octinoxate, phobia, lanananas, lapis, greenbean, stargazer, hello tampon, tyger, muffy, anna k, prettyinpink, minx falljackets, go_kayte, katiebelle, doodle, girlygirlgag...and ven. i always miss you, ven.

i miss you ladies!

i wake up at the crack of dawn no matter when i go to bed, and i'm a night owl, so i'll go to bed at 1 or 2 and wake up at 6. i usually get up, let out the chickens or get on the puter or whatever if i'm over at daddy's, like i was last night. but i woke up this morning, and i must have accidentally woke daddy up. she asked what time it was, i replied, it's 6:30. i think i'm getting up...

she replied, uh huh... she rolled over, and her arm slid up my chest, finding my throat. she hissed, "don't you move a muscle, cunt."
i got the chills. my heart was beating a mile a minute. it wasn't even that she was choking me. her hand was just resting on my throat, but my entire body tensed up. for all intents and purposes she could have had me wrapped in saran wrap. she fell asleep for a while, but i never moved. her eye opened slowly, and i would start to breathe quicker. a smile curled on her lips, and then she closed her eyes again...

i love that shit. it's like word bondage...



i thought i'd post this little snippet that i posted a looooooooong time ago. the initial quote is by one of my fave trans writers, patrick califia, in his book 'sex changes.' it's basically how i feel about bdsm...


"What if we all helped each other to manifest our most beautiful, sexy, intellegent, creative, and adventurous inner selves, instead of cooperating to suppress them?"

that's bdsm at it's best-- two people learning to trust each other with their deepest secrets and desires and showing each other those desires are ok. it's encouraging each other at our roots-- where we have our deepest defenses. where we are at our most defenseless. as hard as it was for me to come out to the first girlfriend i confided in, about my (then) crossdressing, it was just as hard for a girlfriend later to confess she loved being choked, or spanked. or another girlfriend who loved having her feet worshiped. these things-- being kinky-- carry a tremendous amount of shame. you'd think that the person you were closest to would be the easiest to tell, but the opposite is true. they are the hardest person to tell about something so deep. telling someone and have them accept, and even better not judge you harshly for those desires is liberating. have you ever felt unloveable? i did. i thought my transexuality made me a freak, and repellant to anyone and everyone. but what if someone told you they loved who you were, not inspite of whatever it is you think makes you unloveable, but they loved you because of your strength to get thru things they couldn't imagine. what if they told you, that made them admire you? made them proud of you? when my girlfriend told me those things, it literally rocked and shocked my world. it's that kind of nourishing of the soul but that builds a deep trust. and that, is what i love about bdsm. it was accepting and loving each other, warts, kinks and all. even for a short brief scene it is unconditional love. something i think all human beings need. i hope this makes sense.
damona
it's funny, i'm open about my lifestyle irl, but on here, i'm more hesitant to get it all out there... oh well. i just decided i'm going to dive right in.

we are poly. i have 2 partners. my husband, who is a switch, and my lover, who is most definitely dominant!

with my lover, most of the time we are together, we are in the game. he orders for me at restaurants, tells me what to wear when we are together, etc. i love it! BUT i don't think i would love it if i really lived with him 24/7. i'm submissive, not a doormat.

with my husband, we have a great, give-and-take relationship (just to clarify, opening the relationship was his idea and it's been an interesting ride. it's mostly me who plays tho.) what with having kids and all, it's not like i can walk around naked and collared and stuff, so it's not so much a lifestyle thing. he can be very very dominant with me in bed tho, and it's really great. he also likes when i cause him pain (spanking, biting, scratching). i've tried topping him, but i mostly just feel stupid and end up giggling a lot. so he tops me, but i dig at him with my nails or bite him when i cum, and we both get happy LOL.

i've been with my husband for 12 years now, and my lover i've been off and on with for 12 years as well. the last 2 years pretty much steady "on". a friend of mine showed me some stuff online, oh, about 8 years ago, about bdsm and it was like it just clicked "omg, that's what i want!" i introduced both guys to it and we've been (pardon the pun) feeling our way thru it all ever since. i hooked up with a guy who's been a pro dom for many years a few years back, for a few months, and he really showed me what i liked and didn't like and i was able to show my guys what i liked after that.

i have a question for some of the more experienced people on here tho, while i'm at it! how do you get used to doing something? do you start out slowly? or just go all out until you either get used to it or freak out? i ask b/c my dom wants to use a bit-gag on me and i just don't know. i have some issues with my face being touched, especially if i'm blindfolded, and i don't know how this will work. i want to try it for him, but i'm scared i'll flip out. we've talked and all, we are very open with each other now (been thru a lot to get to this point), but i just don't know.
girltrouble
welcome damona! i'm glad you posted!
candycane_girl
gt, I would post here more often if I actually had something to post about. I love bdsm but sadly I am completely single right now and trying not to have any casual sex (besides, I can't be submissive with just anyone). Hopefully I can visit Jefferson soon but other than that, nothing's going on right now.

Damona, I'd say just take the gag thing slowly. Since you can't actually say a safeword when you're gagged I would come up with a very obvious hand signal.
culturehandy
I'd start with being silent, then if that worked, move to having his hand cover your mouth, then maybe try keeping something into your mouth.

Start small then move up.

With that said, you need to tell the top that you are uncomfortable with this and while you want to try it, you have to go slow. He should respect and understand that.
damona
ccgirl, thanks for that, i was trying to think of how the safe word would work! (duh moment).

culture, we have talked about it, and he knows i am uncomfortable with it, which is why i'm asking for ideas on how to start and see how other people handle things that they feel odd about. he and i are very open with each other now, we have had way too many troubles caused by lack of communication. thank you for your ideas!

candycane_girl
No problem, Damona. I attended a class last summer about bdsm with people who are hearing impaired and instructor made a huge emphasis on hand signals. I'm curious though, are you doing this just to please him? It sounds like you're really uncomfortable with it. Or are you just trying to test your limits? I know that sometimes it can be really exciting to try something new even if it is a bit scary.
girltrouble
one thing you might also try is to talk it thru first. sort of like what i was talking about with my daddy putting his hand around my throat. if i was uncomfortable with being choked i might have her whisper what she's going to do in my ear when we are doing something i do like, being very descriptive, talking about the sensuality of it, the pressure of her hand, the smell of her lotion or perfume, the strength of her hand, pressure on my neck. it might seem a bit silly but just the details will prepare you. then i would do a walk thru with the gag in your mouth not actually bound to you, just hanging, then later with it loosely bound.

the thing i would emphasize is baby steps. they may embolden you, or give you red flags to slow down. but pay attention to however you feel.

for me getting into any new kink it is good to know that my partner has done the 'leg work'-- that research to know techniques, dangers, warning signs and prep to have an 'escape route' or what to do in emergencies. daddy's obsessive when it comes to trying new things, she'll google and read till the cows come home, and that was one of the things that gave me comfort when she and i got into a little bit of needle/inflation play. she's pretty experienced in blood play too, so she kinda had that advantage.

another thing is to know what gets you into a kink. for me most often it is the sensuality-- the sounds, smells, the sights, how it feels, so if someone is very descriptive, or articulate about what makes a kink hot for them, i find it easy for me to 'piggyback' on their eroticism, til i've got my own.

as for safe words with gags, you can use arm/hand movements, eye or head movements, you can cross your fingers for stop, you can hold a ball or hanky and if you drop it, that is a stop. don't do anything you don't feel comfortable with. i'm the thread's safety queen, and i will tell you sometimes you think you are cool with doing something but you may hit an 'emotional landmine'-- a trigger that makes a given kink superscary for you. that is ok. but it is important that you listen to that feeling, and that your dom/me respect you and stop immediately. i have stopped things that even i was amazed i couldn't take, and gone further on other things that i didn't think i could. the important thing is that you listen to yourself, and your body.

does that help damona?

eta: since it's about your face being touched, ask yourself what makes you feel uncomfortable? is it soft touch? daddy never really liked being touched softly before me, she prefers hard touches, so that could be it. but baby steps, touch your own face lightly then let one of your boys do it at the same time, then let him take over. before you have your face touched with the blind fold do it with your eyes closed first so you can change that at anytime. but walk thru it verbally. close your eyes and let his words put you in the scene. if it's too difficult you can stop him, no fuss no muss.
damona
i knew y'all would be very helpful!

gt, my issues with my face being touched stem from abuse, i have tried to deal with it for years, but it just doesn't seem to go away. i can deal with and even enjoy a blindfold, but i have to be allowed to put it on and he can't touch my face at all after it's on, i just flinch away, even if he tells me exactly what he is going to do. i think that your idea about my holding the bit myself without it being attached will be the best way to start.

just for the record, i trust both my husband and my lover with my body and soul, i know that neither of them would intentionally do me any real damage, so that's not the issue. it's just the leftovers from shit in my past.
ananke
I think sometimes, things aren't gonna go away. No matter what, my face shoved into a pillow will always freak me out. Shove my face into your dirty boxers while fucking me? Fine and dandy. Pillow or soft doona? Freak out city. So we work around it.
candycane_girl
I think there are certain acts that freak all of us out. I'm asthmatic so I am very fearful of any kind of breath play because I already know that feeling of not being able to breathe. Also I was once with a dumbass who decided to just choke me in the middle of sex without any warning at all. I was so pissed because obviously that's the kind of thing that you have to talk about beforehand!
LoveMyPugs
i don't like when Mr. Pugs holds my wrists. Tie them with rope? Fine. Hold my forearms or interlock our fingers is fine as well but I don't like his hands around my wrists. It feels helpless and scares me.

mr. pugs and i have stopped 24/7 ds or at least we "say" we have stopped. he still spanks me once in a while when we are outside of the bedroom. he'll still saying something dominating once in a while but the pressure to constantly be dominate on his part and submissive on my part was ruining the pleasure aspect of it all. i think we were treating it as though it was rules of the bdsm game. like if we didn't do it 24 hours seven days a week we would fail.

so we said we were keeping in the bedroom only but it's still there in the back of both of our minds.

mr. pug confessed to me a few weeks ago that he feels stupid when it comes to bdsm. he says it doesn't come naturally to him, he can't think of interesting or inventive things to say or do, he doesn't really feel confident in reading a situation. he was very sad about it. he said he felt like he failed as a dom. he knows its something that i've discovered i love and he wants to do this for me because he wants me to feel sexy, confident and loved. he doesn't want me to think that he finds me strange or anything for liking what i like. he said, "I'm just too stupid to do it." He actually was crying when he was telling me this. this was during one of our big fights last week. i felt so terrible for him. i know how insecure i felt asking for these changes in our relationship. i never imagined how he'd feel if he wasn't confident in implementing them. so i asked him if it would take some of the pressure off if we just kept our kink in the bedroom and he said yes. and actually, i like it better that way also.

truth be told we haven't had sex in almost two weeks. first, we were fighting. then i had a yeast infection, then my period. i'm hoping this weekend we'll have some time together. it's our 12 year anniversary on sunday. we'll see
girltrouble
i'm glad you guys are re-finding your equilibrium, pugs. there's not shame in finding out what works for you. that's the way it should be imho. daddy and i aren't exactly 24/7, we sort of drift in and out of it. somethings it's more instinctual, like the way you sit "lower" than the mr. sometimes it's just what we do to show affection. sometimes there is a bdsm overlap, sometimes not, and that's fine. sometimes it's hard to remember that the whole point is to find out what makes us happy. it's about exploring our, and our partner's inner lives and it should absolutely NOT be something that is pass fail. it's what we make it.

that part where you are talking about the mr. crying. god, that just broke my heart.

i don't know how much of this comes natural to anybody. i struggle with pleasing daddy, since i know she loves blood play, which i don't really want to get into too deeply, and she likes huge pain subs, which i am not. i feel like a wimp much of the time and that i disappoint her. and lord knows my body shifts things around so what feels good this week in 3 months will totally not register an iota of interest. a lot of us struggle. so the mr. is not alone. we all have areas where it might not work for us, and that's alright too.

thanks for sharing pugs, damona, ccgirl, and ananke.
minx
When I was involved with my dom a few years back (and play extended up until April), we had our ebbs and flows. The Dirty Mick loved it when I was curled up like a kitten on his lap, but with my penchant for being a very strong personality, he had a difficult domming me 24/7. I had another dom back in the day who had NO problem domming me, but he was too much into the 24/7 mindfuck. I was off-balance all the time and never knew where our relationship stood and that severed my heart in several places.

I think that it's normal to have these changes. You aren't failing some sort of BDSM heirarchy of coolness rules. And anyone who might imply differently is ratfuck monkey anus.

Me, I loved breathplay. *sigh* I do kinda miss that since I'm in a very vanilla relationship now. There is something so hot about knowing that your partner can take you to those dark and scary places and help you get back safe. I was explaining this to my partner just the other day (he is really interested in what I found so appealing about BDSM). Funny thing is that he able to do the same things in different ways.

I actually achieve the crowing joy of "subspace" the other day through multiple orgasm and other sensory delights. I was shocked when I realized that my head was floating all over the place.

Variety is indeed the spice of life.

You know, I remember one of our veteran busties talking about how anal sex got her "there". What the hell is her name? Her partner's in Australia most of the time. She knows WalkingBitch. Hmmm...quandries.

Wow, this post is all over the place. Sorry for the randomness. I'm just really happy that people are still out there playing and having a great time exploring. This weekend we're going to look for books about tantric sex practices because he is having multiple-envy and I just think it'd be grand. biggrin.gif
LoveMyPugs
QUOTE
And anyone who might imply differently is ratfuck monkey anus.


really? i like that!!

QUOTE
This weekend we're going to look for books about tantric sex practices because he is having multiple-envy and I just think it'd be grand. biggrin.gif


to be honest, i've never heard of tantric sex before. i just read an article about it. have you tried this yet? experimented? i don't think mr. pugs would have the patience. actually, i don't think i'd have the patience. i'm all about the payoff. that's terrible i know.
tesao
so, minxy, give us an update on the tantric sex!

it's interesting, something i've never done. not really sure if i'd like it, to be honest. i'm just too into having my partner climax. (but we all know that i'm a cum slut). see, pugs? you aren't alone! no need to apologize. what we want is what we want and no need to say you are sorry for it. especially not in *this* thread!

girl trouble, you have got to be one of the most adorable busties i know.

haven't been posting in here because i've been so celibate. suppose that i could talk about things that i have done in the past or would like to do in the future.

i don't think that i could last in a 24/7 bdsm relationship. we all have to come up for air sometime. as damona so aptly put it, real life means not walking around naked with a collar on all of the time. i'm so into mixing it up. i'm really difficult to dominate, i have to be in the right frame of mind and with the right person.

for me, bdsm has always been sexual. not necessarily only DURING sex, but sexual in nature. having someone dominate me in small, subtle ways in public, say, over dinner, can have me climbing the walls. especially when i am told afterwards that i am to go straight to bed, no fucking, no masturbating, nothing sexual at all except those same thoughts.

but the payoff some days later when i am finally ORDERED to cum.....whoa.

talk about "subspace". (hee. minx, that expression! tooooo cute!)
girltrouble
QUOTE
suppose that i could talk about things that i have done in the past or would like to do in the future.

oh tes, i would sooooooo buy a ticket for that movie....*drools all pavlovian like*

and this:*
QUOTE
having someone dominate me in small, subtle ways in public, say, over dinner, can have me climbing the walls. especially when i am told afterwards that i am to go straight to bed, no fucking, no masturbating, nothing sexual at all except those same thoughts.

but the payoff some days later when i am finally ORDERED to cum.....whoa.
*sits up, begs*
oh my! yes, prease!

that is the absolute hottest... i lurve denial!
stargazer
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Jul 23 2008, 11:24 PM) *
was reading some of the old posts here and just missing some of the posters who contributed to this thread.

culture (whatever happened to your whip?), aural, ophelia, p176, mornington, tesao, dayglowpink, pugsy, candycane, glassk, pretty in pink, octinoxate, phobia, lanananas, lapis, greenbean, stargazer, hello tampon, tyger, muffy, anna k, prettyinpink, minx falljackets, go_kayte, katiebelle, doodle, girlygirlgag...and ven. i always miss you, ven.

i miss you ladies!


aw, thanks gt. i haven't posted much because i don't have a current partner to play with. plus, the thread has been quiet lately. thanks for getting this thread going again.

QUOTE
"What if we all helped each other to manifest our most beautiful, sexy, intellegent, creative, and adventurous inner selves, instead of cooperating to suppress them?"

that's bdsm at it's best-- two people learning to trust each other with their deepest secrets and desires and showing each other those desires are ok. it's encouraging each other at our roots-- where we have our deepest defenses. where we are at our most defenseless. as hard as it was for me to come out to the first girlfriend i confided in, about my (then) crossdressing, it was just as hard for a girlfriend later to confess she loved being choked, or spanked. or another girlfriend who loved having her feet worshiped. these things-- being kinky-- carry a tremendous amount of shame. you'd think that the person you were closest to would be the easiest to tell, but the opposite is true. they are the hardest person to tell about something so deep. telling someone and have them accept, and even better not judge you harshly for those desires is liberating. have you ever felt unloveable? i did. i thought my transexuality made me a freak, and repellant to anyone and everyone. but what if someone told you they loved who you were, not inspite of whatever it is you think makes you unloveable, but they loved you because of your strength to get thru things they couldn't imagine. what if they told you, that made them admire you? made them proud of you? when my girlfriend told me those things, it literally rocked and shocked my world. it's that kind of nourishing of the soul but that builds a deep trust. and that, is what i love about bdsm. it was accepting and loving each other, warts, kinks and all. even for a short brief scene it is unconditional love. something i think all human beings need. i hope this makes sense.


gt, you bring such an eloquent view of BDSM. that's why i lurve you. i hold a similar view of BDSM. *sigh* now, i wish i had a partner to play with.

tes, i would love to hear any stories you can share.


mornington
*sticks head in*

I've been lurking on and off... loving GT's usual eloquence and the discussions here.

me and G haven't been doing much playing beyond our usual... frankly, it's too hot right now for anything except early-morning quickies. Although we're playing around with a little worshipping... I'm also training him to cum on command (very, very fun).

pugs, I'm glad you're finding an equilibrium that's making you happy (and mr pugs too)

damona, thanks for posting - I love reading your posts, I had *no idea* you were poly smile.gif , sounds cool. I don't like being gagged (I don't know why, it just scares me shitless) but worked up to having hands near my throat slowly - having something physical you can drop or wave about sounds like an excellent idea.


the kinky space I used to frequent (a cafe near where I work) is closing down, I'm going to miss it - the food, the toys, the books (mm, dirty books)... I didn't attend the fetish nights (I don't feel particuarly *proper* bdsm, and I'm not much of a fetishist. especially as I'm allergic to latex) but I'll miss it like crazy.

excuse me while I go stick my head in the freezer to cool down. it's 82 degrees here...
girltrouble
if i had known that posting the names of people whose posts i had enjoyed would get you guys to post again, i would have been doing it every post. i just love the perspectives, sense of humor, playfulness and passion busties add to any topic, but particularly this one. i have to tell you, to see you all posting, well-- every one of you (you too damona) has put a big ol' silly grin on my face. it makes me so terribly happy, i guess i just love the idea of sharing. i get all gooey. since i have your ears-- or eyes, how about a provocative question? after all, while i understand those wonderful (i think), times between playpartners, i don't think our 'kinks' stop. they live on our imagination.

so-- on to the question(s), inspired, natch, by busties:
  • what is the kink that sends you over the moon?
  • what kink would you love to try?
  • is there a kink that surprised you?
  • what kink scared you, but now you love it?
  • what kink is absolutely lost on you?

now, kink is self defined, and can be as vanilla as the 'missionary' position. it's personal, so feel free to run with it. and you are certainly free to put too shy to say, because well that's adorable too, or spread out your answers over a couple of posts or answer several times. feel free to add questions too. like 'this thing we do', it's completely up to you....

wink.gif





****
oh, mornington, those things, worshiping, and training to cum... so fun! i am so temped to start worshiping daddy's legs n feet. inspite of her masculine energy and demeanor, she insists on getting a pedicure (she calls it taking care of business). a few weeks ago i painted her toenails, and it made me incredibly happy. blink.gif it may be my new kink. how funny that it should be something so mundane. but i do love doing it. but that makes sense. i just love showing her she means a great deal to me. hell, i like doing her laundry. wacko.gif and i hate doing laundry!
stargazer
QUOTE(girltrouble @ Jul 27 2008, 11:25 AM) *

[*]what is the kink that sends you over the moon?


thanks for some topics to help stir the conversation in here. i've been so stressed with my training site that i've lost some of my mojo.

but, i digress...

what i have always loved is talking during sex, pre- and post- sex. it doesn't have to be dirty and totally meaningful, but there is something terribly sexy to me. i think because it is part of deep sharing and intimacy to me. which makes sense why clients develop sexual fantasies about their clinicians because the act of sharing is so intensely personal and connecting. a person can feel held in by words alone. plus, speaking lets me know if my partner enjoys what is occurring during sex to me and enjoying me as part of the process. i've been with partners who are silent and i feel kinda lonely during sex...like, "um, would you like to do this alone?" if that makes sense.

i'm a pretty simple woman when it deals with sex. meaning, i'm turned on by alot of the basic bodily sensations of visual, touch, taste, smell, and hearing. touch is another part of sex that i absolutely adore. the tension experienced when you anticipate being touched and the relief/pleasure when you are finally touched. that's how i viewed tantric sex to be. it is less about the actual penetration. i see intercourse and orgasm as icing on the cake. i don't like to rush things and sex is the last thing i want to rush. sometimes, delaying gratification, as painful as it is...is actually a turn on for me. oh, and denying a partner to touch me is awesome. i did this with my ex when i would kiss her body and not let her touch me. it would drive her crazy in a good way. and of course, i was happy too. heh.

good topic indeed, gt.

i don't know if anyone has watched this show on cable called sexual healing. it is a show with a sex therapist based in chicago in which partners attend therapy sessions with her. it is pretty interesting some of the "homework" she gives to her clients. last night when i couldn't sleep, i watched as a couple dealing with power issues (the wife have difficulty giving power to her husband even though she wanted him to take a lead in their relationship) used some type of BDSM. he tied her up as she was blindfolded. she was very tense and could not enjoy herself. it wasn't until later that the therapist discovered the wife was sexually abused in her past. i was just struck by this segment and how certain positions can take us back to different times in our lives. and while it may not be the position itself that causes us to feel a certain way, but a position can lead us to reexperience some painful feelings we have been trying to not experience for whatever reason.
girltrouble

ETA:these are my sub answers. i think i'd answer them differently if i thought about my domme side. i'll probably answer the questions all over again when i've thought about them in terms of that domme side.

* what is the kink that sends you over the moon?
biting and scratching, denial/delay/teasing
i love food play, that makes me weak in the knees-- not messy food play, but being fed

* what kink would you love to try?

hardcore cuck,
expansion/ feedee/ food play.

i'll keep the cuck business to myself, for the time being, but i think i am starting to feel the pull of my feedee fetish waxing again. i don't know if i've posted on this in here for a while, because well it's kind of dropped off, but i have always gotten crushes on chubby women. i just think their bodies are amazingly erotic, and i have pages of my sketch book devoted to chunky thighs, calves, ankles, wrists and arms. their curves make me weak, and i adore chubby hands. i just think they are impossibly beautiful. i wish that i could convey their beauty to me, but i lose words, i can only shake my head and take a deep breath. i say all of this because for those of you who don't know, an expansion fetish or feeder/feedee fetish is one in which the top (the feeder) gets off watching the bottom (the feedee) gain weight, and or feeding them. it can become abusive. especially when you get into areas of immobility, and some people do get into that. of course i don't care for that end of things, and i know it's a bit weird to some people in a culture that tends to push rail thin women as the idea of beauty, but for me, i long to be chunky. i do. when my boobs were going i would run up stairs for the feeling of the weight of them move. the idea of my body being fuller and curvier is one that i find has a lot of charge with me. my ex, kitty, who i always talk about, i know, used to call me 'fat ass' and it never failed to make my day. i should explain that i am not fat in the least. much to my dismay. i am tall, and well i've got some pretty odd food issues, that i won't go into. let's just say i have food insecurities, and leave it at that for now.

i confided in daddy about my food fetish and we have dabbled, it still surfaces now and again. she loves commanding me to open my mouth and shoving food in to my gullet before i have a chance to swallow it completely. i have to admit, i LOVE when she asserts this kind of control over me. infact, just thinking about it now kind of gets me high...

i know this is an unusual fetish, and perhaps it's just me wanting to make my body more feminine in my eyes, but i don't mind that. i think it's actually quite beautiful. i don't know if i will ever find someone who would be a feeder for me in earnest. as i said, it wanes and waxes. i just know i love the idea of it.


*sigh* time to admit i'm incurably kinky....


* is there a kink that surprised you?

being tied up. i never thought i'd like it but i do.
not for the squeamish:
blood play. seeing daddy get off on me bleeding, i think i got a contact high. i think she loved it because my blood is thin, so i'm kind of a bleeder. that said, i don't think i want to do too much of this right now.

saline inflation. daddy and i really got into this for a while. we did it four or five times. she would get bags of saline and needles from kinky medical, and after tying off the area around my boobs, she'd insert the needles in my boobs and inject the saline into them in a circular motion. she'd do this 20+ times in each boob and it stung. but i loved how hot it got her. i love how much she loved making me squirm, whine and cry. and cod was it cathartic. but i don't know if i like it enough to do it anymore. a friend of ours inflated her pussy lips and i couldn't imagine doing that, i get squeamish when my own genitals are involved. but that couple is hardcore. i saw some pix of them doing needle/blood/knife cock and ball torture. it looked brutal. but afterwords they went out for dinner. like nothing happened. sometimes i admire that, other times it scares the shit out of me. lol.

and the allure of the kinks i'd like to try in earnest (see last question)

* what kink scared you, but now you love it?

being tied up, choke play, feeding play

* what kink is absolutely lost on you?
there are the usuals, that i don't think i have to mention. but i'm pretty open. if my partner is into it, i can kinda see and get into it... i think i understand my submissiveness better than i used to, and i think i understand enjoying pain, although i think i am hardly a masochist. i just like it when my partner enjoys me.
culturehandy
What is the kink that sends you over the moon?

Degredation, humiliation and begging. I'm at a rather violent level, too. I like choking.

What kink would you love to try?

same as above but with me doing on a man. Strap on's. There's a lot of I've alredy done. I'd like to top my top.

Is there a kink that surprised you?

Being choked. Showing off my bruising, being bruised, being marked.

What kink scared you, but now you love?

hmmm, there are things I haven't tried yet, so I suppose I can't really answer that question.

What kink is absolutely lost on you?

I don't get foot fetishes. Or scat.
LoveMyPugs
What is the kink that sends you over the moon?

1. Being bent over Mr. Pug's lap and spanked while he holds me down.
2. The feeling of rope. I love rope.
3. Being forced to come over and over. The intense vibrations of the hitachi on my already extreamly sensitive clit. It's wild. It's so uncomfortable, almost painful then moments later it passes and my orgasm builds again.
4. Deep Throating/Gagging I like having tears in my eyes from when I shove Mr. Pug's cock down my throat.

What kink would you love to try?

1. A ball gag
2. Being suspended by rope
3. A flogger
4. A Cane

Is there a kink that surprised you?

I'll quote CH "Showing off my bruising, being bruuised, being marked."

What kink scared you, but now you love?

1. Spankings
2. Rope
3. Squirting

What kink is absolutely lost on you?

I also don't get foot fetishes. I don't like anything dirty. I don't want food all over my body or paint. I don't want actual dirt on me. I like to be clean. Body fluids are cool. Lube is a must. They seem more natural to me. The suction cup on the nonni / nipples thing. I don't want a gigantic swollen pussy and/or nipples. I like what I have. I think they are perfect. Don't want them any bigger or any more sensitive then they already are.
i_am_jan
Hey everybody. I too have enjoyed being dominated, I'll go ahead and let that cat out of the bag. But what I really wanted to say was, I was watching a "Sex and the City" rerun tonight, the one where Carrie is dating the politician who asks her to pee on him...and the girls agree that "powerful men always want to be dominated", right? And I was thinking how the prototype for the person who possesses control and power wanting to be dominated is a man, of course. However, in 2008 (and for some time in reality, I suppose) the same is exactly true with powerful women. I see lots of women on this board who seem to me very in control and very independent and very powerful in their own lives, and fit the the whole profile of the old "powerful male" cliche. I know that I myself am a control FREAK. Super independent, self-disciplined, etc. And I actually enjoy submitting because it makes me *lose* control, which is literally a release...also, losing control is a big fear which I face, so it's that much more exciting sexually to go there. Also, I know there are lots of other profiles of a person who enjoys domination, most of which I share as well probably, but I'm just pointing out that the whole "person of power and control" who enjoys being dominated usually points to a male; however, I believe that it's 100% exactly the same for women who are in power. Or for instance, seeing culturehandy's personality, it doesn't seem shocking to think that a girl like her would like to be surprised, or have her control challenged. (Also, this may be already glaringly obvious to some people already and, if so, thank you for reading it anyway and I'm glad we agree.)
culturehandy
I have found that people are the opposite of what they are IRL. when I'm feeling subby in my every day, that's when I'll be more dominant, its when I'm feeling aggressive that I'll hand over control.

dayglowpink
I'm still here! I've been lurking a lot over the past few months. Things in my relationship are great, but we've been going through some growing pains in our sex life, and I haven't felt like anything's been exciting enough to post about. I'll do the survey, though...

what is the kink that sends you over the moon?
being bitten really hard on the back of my shoulders and neck
getting hickies, I love it, but I can only do it when I'm gonna be off work for a while
when he's whispering in my ear as he's being really rough with me
being spanked and hit hard with one hand while the other hand is being super gentle and stroking my body

what kink would you love to try?
being tied up, we've only done the very basics like tying wrists and ankles. I wanna get into the elaborate stuff.

is there a kink that surprised you?
I definitely like being choked better than I thought I would

what kink scared you, but now you love it?
being choked
txting dirty pictures and videos, I don't know how much of a kink it is, but I used to be freaked out by the idea at first

what kink is absolutely lost on you?
dressing up like a baby or furries
mornington
I'll bite on this, although I fear my answers are not going to be terribly interesting...

* what is the kink that sends you over the moon?
being spanked, particularly when he's whispering sweet/dirty things to me.
controlling his orgasm - telling him when he can cum. We've not got this perfect, but making him beg for his orgasm is just delicious.

* what kink would you love to try?
possibly some degree of control... but I'm not sure. it does freak me out a little. We're much more into mind play than rope play (I like cuffs, but not rope as I have panic attacks and like to be able to get out easily), although I'd like to persuade him to try putting me on a spreader bar - tried it once with an ex, loved it, but don't know how G would take it.

* is there a kink that surprised you?
goddess worship. very fun but totally unplanned - he just came out with it and it never fails to get me off.

* what kink scared you, but now you love it?
see above. Also being held down...

* what kink is absolutely lost on you?
suspension, and being wrapped in cling film. or scat.
tesao
still thinking about this. like girl trouble, it varies on whether i am the domme or the sub....

but right off the bat, i love gender/role play, where the cock (strap on or otherwise) is mine. i had an incredible lover who was pre-surgical m to f, she already had breasts. one of the things that never failed to blow our minds was for me to sit on her lap, so that her cock came through my legs. then we would call it "my cock". i would make her play with it while i watched.....and prolong that until she begged me to cum (which was actually letting HER cum). then i'd use my strap-on in her ass from behind while i played with her breasts. mind games. i adore mind games.

i'll be back with a full set of answers.
i_am_jan
QUOTE(tesao @ Aug 3 2008, 07:41 AM) *
still thinking about this. like girl trouble, it varies on whether i am the domme or the sub....

but right off the bat, i love gender/role play, where the cock (strap on or otherwise) is mine. i had an incredible lover who was pre-surgical m to f, she already had breasts. one of the things that never failed to blow our minds was for me to sit on her lap, so that her cock came through my legs. then we would call it "my cock". i would make her play with it while i watched.....and prolong that until she begged me to cum (which was actually letting HER cum). then i'd use my strap-on in her ass from behind while i played with her breasts. mind games. i adore mind games.

i'll be back with a full set of answers.


That is SOO erotic and hot!!
girltrouble
ok, my domme answers:

>>kink that sends me over the moon:
>psychological play-- particularlly whispering in someone's ear telling them i know what they want and they should just give in, or take more for me.... don't they want to please me? so freaking hot!
>just causing pain with my body. pinching, nails, biting, scoring, horsebites, and jointlocking.... i just love it. i am definitely a sadist.
>cbt, but i wonder how far i'll take it. i've just been made aware of how extreme some friends of mine are-- a domme friend i know is really into cock and ball torture. her favorite is to stick needles and pins into her boyfriend's cock until it's literally bloody and jerk him off. to me that is so extreme-- i'm still squeamish when it comes to blood play. i can't even look at the pix of it. but i wonder if it's something i'll find myself doing in a few years.

>>kink i'd like to try?
>more mind control, bondage, mummification, abrasion, anything that causes ache or pain a while after play, there is something really delicious about thinking of a sub touching a bruise i've caused and thinking of me and the scene we did is really delightful. i would like to try some needle play.

>>kink that surprised me?
>caning. omg. i love caning. fuck whips or floggers, caning for me is soooooooo where it's at.
>cock and ball torture. nothing, absolutely nothing like having a boy by the balls, and knowing i can push him further.

>>scared me at first but now i love it?
>cock and ball torture, caning.

>>kink absolutely lost on me?
sounds. honestly i don't know why you would want to put a metal rod in your pee hole. i'll do it if the sub really likes it, but i'd rather not. but if you want me to put clothes pins on your noodle, i'm in. lol.

starlette
Hey I'm new here! I have always very much enjoyed BDSM and all sorts of rough play and being dominated. But I feel like i don't have anywhere to discuss it since I'm only 17 and it werids most of my close friends out haha. But Then I stumbled across this wonderful place. All of you ladies are so informative and open, it's great.

Heres a good way to start off.



what is the kink that sends you over the moon?
I love it when my man uses his own hands to pin me down, or covers my mouth with his hand. They're is just something so alluring about him dominating with the aid of anything else.
I also really like when he growls in my ear.


what kink would you love to try?
Ball gags
Suspension
And more elaborate rope bondage

is there a kink that surprised you?
Choking really surprised me, but I do enjoy it. It just gives you a certain rush thats so nice.

what kink scared you, but now you love it?
I was terrified of blood play at first, and refused to do it. But I gave it a go last night and I'm hooked, or slashed, to say the least.

what kink is absolutely lost on you?
Foot fetishes most definatly.
And a chick using a strap on on a guy just dosn't click with me. It's interesting, but lost on me.
culturehandy
Oh strapons, *drools*

My top and I have been expading our repertoire lately and I'm going to see if he is receptive to me fucking him. Now that's a panty puddle.
bob4both
I'm with Culture, only on the receiving end! Nothing I can think of that's hotter than a woman doing me with a strap-on, especially when she's really into the role. Go girls, you may be pleasantly surprised at your man's response!
tesao

okies, i think i'm in the right mood for this now.

kink(s) that send(s) me over the moon:

a threesome & having both holes filled at the same time. being told that i'm a filthy girl because i like it.

psychological play. i'm with girl trouble on this one. various kinds. things that mess with my head.

like the example i gave below. gender bending role play. me having a cock. partners that have both breast and cocks.

bringing me to the edge and then being told no. being made to wait. being ordered to cum on command.

doing all of the above to someone else.

kink i'd like to try?
hee. girl trouble, i want to try sounds. so damn erotic. course, i wouldn't be on the receiving end. along with that: other dick adornments. cock cages and leads. probably some mild cbt involved there.

another one:ass to mouth. it's so degrading.whited out for the squeamish

kink that surprised me?
golden showers. or at least variations at it. it started because we liked watching each other pee. i love holding a cock while it pees....and then becomes immediately erect afterwards because i am holding it, squeezing it. me sitting on the toilet peeing with a lover's cock next to my clit peeing at the same time. somehow very intimate. especially when immediately followed by him rubbing his cock against my clit and having his dick slam into me while i'm still on the toilet. i came IMMEDIATELY

scared me at first but now i love it?
at first, was scared totally out of my mind about having a dick tight up inside my ass. now i can't believe i was ever afraid of it.

being totally out of control. tied up. bent over a saw horse with a spreader between my legs. being flogged or whipped with a crop. being tied onto a bed, arms spread, legs spread, open to anything that the others there wanted to do. feeling helpless to stop them (but knowing that i could because i had a safe word)

kink absolutely lost on me?
men in diapers. feet fetishes that involve really long toenails.
culturehandy
Ooooh Tes, I'm all for DP, I fucking love it. I cannot express my love for having my ass and cunt filled at the same time. The last time I had a threesome like that I was sore for days. It was wonderful.

and I've done the ass to mouth element too.
girltrouble
hey bob4both! don't just be a lookie loo, if you're going to really contribute, why not answer some of these questions everyone else is....?

and welcome to the thread, star! great to have you join us!


god, tes, your posts always have some kink that i'd forgotten.
i suppose the cock cages/chastity belt thing goes in to my curiosity/want for a cuck situation, and maude knows i adore denial, so i would certainly be up for a cage-- provided it is not my friend's iron maiden version, complete with spikes.... blink.gif

and i have to say about your pee fetish, i'm on the fence, i've done pee play, and had partners really get off on it, and i can see it's appeal (the warmth, taboo of the smell, just the taboo-ness of it). but it's not one that has a strong hold on me. it's much like a foot fetish, i get it, and have had erotic experiences, it just hasn't caught fire in my imagination. that said, i've had two girlfriends who i had steering experiences with (steering: she stands behind me holding and aiming my cock while i pee), and i found them very erotic. that said, there is a certain childlike glee in watching your partner pee. you it seems soo silly that it's dirty but it does have a charge, but watching your partner pee, for me atleast there is a kid like sense of wonder that goes with it, like 'look what my body does.' it can be degrading or, like most kinks, playful. i don't know if you were eluding to the child's pov thing, or if i was reading into it tes, but...


as for the dp/ a2m.... my don't we have some dirty girls in here? *smirk*
tesao
GT, you nailed it. *giggle*


it's really only been that once that the fetish was just so astounding erotic - that's why it surprised me so much!

and yes,m it started out from the child like pov of how cool is THIS? i still love holding cocks when they pee, it is just really fun. i suppose that i could say that a lot about how i feel about life in general and sex in particular. how can something so basic have so many variations and be so damn great?

c'mon now, wouldn't you change your mind if the sound had a pretty amethyst gemstone on the top? and someone you really had a hard-on for MADE YOU?

culture, i think that you are my younger twin sister, i really do. you rock! one of the lesser known lovely turn-ons from DP is that delicious pain afterwards....every time you sit down, the twinges remind you of what you did that made it hurt......

bob4both, *do* tell!

starlette~ welcome! you are *not* alone!
culturehandy
Awww Tes! *blushes* I lurverth you!

That's another reason I like being marked and bruised so much, because when I see what my top has left behind it's like my little secret and it makes me remember what brouht on the marking, and that in turn turns me on more.
girltrouble
that pain lingers after play is a special kind of love letter, isn't it?

my behind is a little sore from a spanking i got this morning, and as much as i hate spankings i do like the afterwords a bit....

ah, no, tes, even if there were flowers in the top of it, no.

you do know you can do sounds too, yes? would you?
no, i'm afraid just the idea of something in my pee hole gives me the willies. that said, probably one of the most sadistic things i've ever done was taking an rubbing alchol soaked q-tip in a sub's pee hole. he said the burning sensation lasted 3 days. it made me very happy. now i tease him by asking him if he'd let me do it again, to which he yells , no! and covers his unit...
and i smile.

but that friend who does sounds, the one that's in to needle and blood play with his CBT? his domme has been using a 1/2" sound on him blink.gif i'm sure someday, some domme might be able to talk me into a much smaller one, but that is going to take a fuck of a lot of talking. lol.... that's just not on my bucket list.


heh. my (favorite) experience falls under the 'variations of...' variety. i was absolutely in love with kitty one afternoon, we had just had sex, and, when i fall, i fall hard. in my book, she could walk on water, and talk the fish into walking on land, i just wanted her in every way shape and form. she got up from the bed to pee, and i was feeling a bit impish, i crawled over to the bathroom door, talking about how i wanted to fuck her all over again, that i wanted her more than my next breath, how i really wanted to taste her.... as i did i put my hands on her calves, and leaned up to kiss her. she pushed me away playfully away, saying she was peeing. i looked her dead in the eyes, told her i didn't care. she laughed, and i said, giggling, you think i'm kidding? i put my head down and tried to put my head between her legs, licking her thighs, she tried to pull my head up. she squealed, i'm peeing! we were both laughing so hard, and fuck i wanted her. i told her that, i told her to pee, that nothing she did was dirty to me, i loved everything about her, her skin, her eyes, her hair, the things she said, all beautiful to me. go ahead, pee...and i put my head down and started stroking and licking her thighs, there on the toilet, talking about how great she tasted, i put a finger between her legs, and tasted her. she spread her legs, mmmmmm, god i loved going down on her... she pushed her hips forward, and leaned back a bit...

pee for me...

and she did, i ran my fingers thru her stream... it was so warm, i licked my fingers-- something i normally wouldn't have done--- but i didn't care... i just wanted everything that had to do with her... i went down on her as she peed...

and after that we had the best sex i'd ever had, the only place we didn't fuck in that bathroom was on the ceiling....
culturehandy
GT, I agree with you, yowza, no is doing that to me.

Hmmm, I did film this weekend, nothing over the top, but that kink, there is nothing like performing for someone, even if it's just you and your partner, then watching it after. It was pretty hot.

He's going to film our scene. When it does happen.

And again in exploring the issue of more anal play on his part, he open to it, but I don't know how much.

I like so many elements of pain, it's one of those spur of the moment type things. Not that I don't like to think about. I am not into needles, sure I like body peircing, but I'm not into needles for play.

Again, I do love verbal degredation and humiliation so much. I love being called a dirty, worthless slut. Being told how fucking useless I am, being told that I am nothing. Fuck, that shit just turns me on so much.
girltrouble
o. my. god. my newest kink is these damn spoiler boxes! they make everything so kinky and mysterious! and look at you, dirty girl. you just had to know what was under here didn't you? you dirty nasty thing...lol and when someone just can't resist....yummy! that is all! ok, that's not all, teasing you really makes me happy. really. blink.gif it makes me sooooo freaking hawt!
candycane_girl
lmao GT! I really did have to find out what you were hiding!
bob4both
Well, I feel like an amateur compared to some of the responses, but...

*kink that sends me over the moon?
- being forced to sub to a woman with a strap-on; sucking her cock, begging for penetration...watching people have sex, doing guys for a (female) audience, cream pies...

*kink I'd love to try?
- blindfolded sub group sex, but don't know if I could give up that much control

*kink that surprises me?
- golden showers. I didn't expect that I'd enjoy peeing on someone until I had a sub that rubbed herself off as I sprayed her. It was hot watching her cum; she was really into it.

*kink that scared me but now love it?
- anything anal. I was scared to death the first time I was penetrated but immediately became a total butt slave! Being tied up is tough to accept (at first) as well, but I always get off incredibly anyway.

*kink lost on me?
- anything fecal, though I love rimming a clean rosebud. As a sub, I don't care for pain too much, but have certainly enjoyed inflicting pain when I've been dom.

Tes, I would love to find another woman who enjoys the strap-on scene. My last gfriend enjoyed being the top & played the part well, acting like it was her real cock. It's different from being screwed by a guy because I love the female form so much. Nothing sexier than watching her boobs bouncing cuz she's laying it to you long & deep! You don't get that with a guy, though there's certain aspects of men sex that a strap-on can't imitate. It's still the ultimate for me, though.



culturehandy
bob4both, the way you talk about your love of anal from a woman is fucking HOT!
tesao
bob4both, culture handy certainly got that right! v. hott!

girl trouble, your idea of answering that set of questions was truly inspired. soooooooooooo many things i'd still like to try!

not sure how i feel about doing sounds to myself. i'm certainly willing to try it. i'm also not sure about this (not part of my gross anatomy class) but i believe that a woman's is smaller than a man's. a man's is made for more than one purpose. (probably another reason that i get so hot and bothered by sucking cocks. they are the teensiest bit diryt because of that. well, larger or not, it's certainly not as easily accessible. hmmm. maybe we should all get together and compare?
girltrouble
tes, you terrible temptress, i suspect if you and i got together to compare, you'd be strapping one on, diryt girl, not comparing pee holes.

glad you liked the questions and if anyone wants to elaborate they should still feel free, but here are two new questions:

what are the top 3 things/traits/techniques you've loved about people you've played with,
3 worst things/traits/techniques?

this can be anything you choose, and you can elaborate as much as you like as well.
mornington
GT, you make me laff.

I would lovelovelove to try a strap-on, but I think it's going to stay a fantasy.


ok...
3 top things:
- putting on these awful voices then spanking me silly for laughing, or spanking me at wholly inappropriate moments (mm, massage followed by entirely unexpected spanking).
- there was one, he was incredibly reassuring and had a very calming influence on me. loved that.
- he has the filthiest mouth I've ever come across.

3 bad things:
- see no.2 above, same bloke. He appeared to have absolutely no interest actual sex. He thought tying me up was awesome, but didn't have an erotic bone in his body. Literally or figuratively. There was no talking, no touching, no teasing. Hell, he wasn't even particularly interested in getting me off.
- same guy didn't enjoy going down on girls. the mind, it boggles. 'specially as there's nothing like being firmly restrained and then eaten 'til you're screaming but can't move an inch. or is that just me? (and somebody tell me how to black text out. I can only white-out)
- hesitancy. No, you are not hurting me, and the point is that you do hurt me. He's learning. The tenderness is wonderful, but sometimes he forgets I *like* pain.
girltrouble
top 3 things:
1)playfulness, nothing trumps a sense of humor, does it? tension goes out the window with a little goofyness. and i cheat, but
1.5) is being game, how can you not love someone who is up for most anything?

2)aftercare done properly. not everybody needs it, but i so love giving it when someone is so vulnerable after play. i guess i just like to nourish the soul.

3)teasing, this girl i dated for a while loved to play the tease, we would spend hours flirting and making out, i think i can credit her and my first gf, for making the lead up much more interesting to me than the main event, but i think that is a wonderful thing, and when it comes to power dynamics, an ace in the hole (so to speak).

worst things:
1)selfishness. i've told stories about my first dom, and i don't feel like repating them so 'nuff said.

2)calling your limit this should be on the best things list because when my second domme cured me of not calling my limit, that cure took.

3)too much ego. forget your safety these dommes are more concerned with trying something because their friends are doing it, it adds more to their cache, or to show off. so much so they put you in danger, no thank you, ego dom/me. you're not as great as you think you are.


mornington, blocking out text is easy you just type the word 'spoiler' and '/spoiler' between brackets '[ ]' or you can go the more options route by pushing the more options button beneath the post field, then you can click on the 'insert special items' pull down and click 'insert: SPOILER' or click the same on the quick access box on the left! it's just that easy!

eta, i'm assuming you mean the compare pee holes...er....crack. it reminds me of a friend of mine who, instead of saying lets meet and talk about that later, he would say "let's touch pee pees on that later." the funny thing was he would say it like it was corperate speak, and he was as hippie as they come.
culturehandy
top three

1. You have to be honest. If you don't like something, please tell me, this should be an experience for the both of us. with honesty, comes being reassured.

2. I'm with you on the playfulness, too.

3. Adventure and a willingness for experimentation, which goes with honety. Hmmm maybe these should be all one.


Things I didn't like.

1. Mornington, I'm with you on men who don't eay pussy. WTF is THAT about? Motherfucker wants me to suck his cock but you won't eat me. Fuck off then. eating pussy isn't even a kink!

2. Attitude, cockiness, doing things out of obligation. Need I say more.

3. When partner is not verbal enough, fuck, say something.
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