May 15 2007, 03:16 PM
Minxy, why are you still with this guy if he's throwing away your stuff and deleting something that you created together? You're better than this kind of treatment. He doesn't sound like he's changed much at all, just stifled his urges to be an asshole.
Hi, Kel and FJ and Tyger!
Poodle, just ask Nile out for a drink or several. You've already done the outdoor cafe hanging out, so it wouldn't be that big of a next step.
Did you guys read that Jerry Falwell just died? *tap dances and turns cartwheels*
May 15 2007, 03:20 PM
Hey gang! This is a bit of a drive-by because I'm sooooo busy lately. While I was posting in Kvetch this morning I realized that I probably won't be posting on a regular basis again until July! Yup, I'm just that busy. But I gotta check in every once in a while, ya know. I just care about you all too much to stay away!
Speaking of caring ...
((((((((Minx))))))))))) Honey, your posts brough back some bad, bad memories for me ... memories of a bad, bad relationship that (luckily) I left behind about 5 years ago, although it feels like much less than that. Souns like this man has oodles and oodles of power issues and he needs to do something about it ... if not for himself, than for your daughter. She doesn't need an influence like that in her life. Since he has offered to go to counseling again, make him follow up on it, but talk to him about it first and make sure he knows that you expect him to go to counseling on a weekly basis for at least six months. This is not the sort of problem he can fix alone in a couple of weeks. He has proven that. It's time for him to make a real commitment to owning his own behaviour & correcting it. Normally I'm not one to give out advice on this sort of thing, but seriously. You should not live in that kind of environment. One way or another, things need to change.
(((((((((((( more lovin for Minxy))))))))))
On a happier note, I heard that today is national chocolate chip day!!! So go out there and eat some chocolate chips!
And GT, I LOVElovelove your sketches! You blow me away, hon!
(((((Kel & TJ & Doodle & CH & Poods & Divala & Tree & FJ & Tyger & the whole gang))))))
Good Things Tuesday:
1. The appraisal is done and everything went well!
2. The termite inspection is done & everything passed!
3. Our mortgage lender called our real estate agent & told him that ALL of the paperwork is done! The loan papers are completed, the insuance stuff is in line, & the closing attorneys are ready. All we have to do now is show up on Monday with the money and the house is OURS!!!! EEEE!!!!!
4. Sheff is having is annual review tomorrow & we suspect that he is getting a nice raise and maybe even some additional vacation time! WOOT!!!
My only bad news is that my Beloved Mommy broke the tip of her index finger on her right hand. She's right-handed and an ER nurse & she has no idea how she is supposed to work with this broken finger. It's such an annoying little thing, but it affects such an important part of her body, you know? When she told me the news on the phone, she kept saying, "I can't even start an IV. How am I supposed to work if I can't even start an IV?!" Poor mommy
May 15 2007, 04:19 PM
Hey ya'll, I'm hooooome!!!
((((minxy)))) Our diva is SO right....you deserve better, and its time to drop this asshole, and create something completely new for yourself. You are such an amazing, strong, smart woman...you need a partner who is up to the task of being a true partner, and I seriously doubt that minxman is there now. You've given him more than enough chances to get his shit together, and have ridden the emotional roller coaster for the last two years. Time to get off the ride, my dear, and enjoy some time to yourself to rebalance and re-group. And you KNOW we're all here for you.
Now, kel, go up there and do your best neck punching on minxman...he needs some sense knocked into him.
Rosieeeeee! So glad to hear that everything is ready for you to close on the house on monday, and move IN!!! SQUEEeeeeeee!
Poodle, that's so awesome that you not only go work out most every night, but that you're getting to hang with Nile and his peeps after. I love it! I wish my gym was like that! I think I'm having gym commitment again...I broke up with Bally's finally, but the nice gym I belong to is close to the old job, and 5 miles further north from our place...I'm unlikely to get up there much currently. But, since I'm riding my bike, I'm not going to worry about it for awhile.
Thanks for all the love for the red-headed baby....he is a damn cute little bugger - and I didn't hear him cry once all day. Poods, I got the shirt at Anne Taylor Loft...its my favorite shirt, and hides the tummy.
FJ, good for you for taking the day off!!
May 15 2007, 05:58 PM
((((((((((minx))))))))) Honey I have to agree with the other okayers. I spent 6 years with a man who was an emotionally controlling, abousive fucker who had zero trust in me. When I went to work, in order to "prove" that I was actually at work, I had to call him from a work line. If he heard a man inthe background, he would as "who is that, who is that", he went through my phone to see if I had any texts from other men, he read through an old journal, he was jealous that I had been with other men. You are an amazing, smart woman, and you deserve to be treated like the queen that you are. You don't want baby to see that this is okay behaviour, and be with someone who treats her poorly.
RV that is so great that you are moving soon. I remember when you fell in love with your house!
Kel, the vibes are helping, I should be staying at this office until mid June, however, the long term is still unknown. Thanks for vibes everyone.
Diva, I did read the Jerry Falwell died, it's funny, my mom asked me if he died with a hooker. Hee.
Jenn how is work going? What did your supervisor think of the layout for the newsletter?
FJ, I agree that you need a day to yourself! How are you feeling today?
Well, I'm going to pick up some ingrediants for my cookies, I'll talk to you all later!
May 15 2007, 06:31 PM
Yeah, I was laughing at the warm fuzzy falwell eulogizing on NPR this evening - some falwellian came on and said that there wasn't a mean bone in his body. HA! Horseshit, I say! That man spewed hate and asked for money to suport it, far more than he ministered. pfffft.
CH, I'm glad you at least have a few more weeks to get things worked out there.
My boss loved the newsletter layout! YAY! Though, really, it wasn't hard to improve upon the layouts of the last designer, which is odd - his newsletters are a mess, but other projects he did were beautiful. Its not like newsletter layout is rocket science...ah, well. Its good to be in a new job, that's for sure.
The daily emails out of the old job from friends just crack me up...I'd kinda like to be a fly on the wall a little bit. hee.
Turbomann is going back to MI this weekend for a friend's wedding, and I'm passing on it, and I am really looking forward to having the weekend to myself. And, my dear, oldest friend from childhood is coming into town, and is going to spend one night with me, so that's extra special cool. Is it the weekend yet?
May 15 2007, 06:48 PM
This is a quick post - I have to run out to the store but will be back soon!
((((minx)))) Do not waste one more minute on this man, and do not spend any more energy worrying about his behaviour. You are not responsible for the behaviour of others. And you can't save another person from themselves. You felt like you had to give it another try, and you did. But once again, he has proven himself incapable of being a good, healthy partner in a mature, long-term, adult relationship. You do not deserve that. Your daughter does not deserve that. Now let him go. Don't look back.
Back later, gaters!
May 15 2007, 07:50 PM
*Punches Minxman in the neck. Twice. While wearing brass knuckles*
(((((Minx)))) You have no room in your life for asshats. You are worth more than that. You are strong and beautiful and no man is worth this kind of anxiety.
On another note, there is the most lovely warm breeze tonight. It makes me want to lie down on the grass and let it waft over me and the pup. Maybe I'll go do that.
I heart Amy Winehouse.
May 15 2007, 08:02 PM
It is cold here! Not that I am complaining, I am just saying that it's cold.
I'm at home, I am going to have some samosa's and lounge and watch roseanne on DVD.
Doodle, I'm going to try the cookies tomorrow! I picked up some of the things I need.
Well, I am going to go eat.
May 15 2007, 08:09 PM
(((minx))) Ugh. I'm so sorry, babe. I don't know what to say other than what's already been said.
Ooooh...I love Julie London. I'm gonna have to check out this Winehouse chick.
Yay for roseviolet's smooth paperwork!!
Good for you for taking a break, FJ. You deserve it, dammit!!
Congrats on the boss kudos, turbo!!!
I'm excited to be able to buy Ann Taylor stuff again. It's gonna take a while, but it's still within reach.
THANK FREAKIN' GODDESS THAT JERRY FALWELL KICKED THE BUCKET!!!! Sometimes I wish there was a hell so that asshats like him would get what they deserve. I hate that fucking bigot. Yeah, Jerry, it was the gays and the feminists that caused 9/11 to happen...
*hands out cack to everyone*
Heh...Anderson Cooper just said, "What was his problem with Tinky Winky? Find out next when 360 returns." Haha!!
Hi kel, doodle, tyg, lurkers, and anyone I'm missing!!
May 15 2007, 08:11 PM
samosas samosas samosas!!! Ack! CH, are you sure you're not shilling for the indian/pakistani restaurant in our 'hood? Everytime you mention them, I have the uncontrollable urge to get Indian food, and some days I feel compelled to pick up some samosas on my walk home from the train! I think friday I'll get take out from them again. I might even get something besides samosas.
Well, I'm beat tonight, so I think I'm going to head to bed early.
May 15 2007, 09:19 PM
Hi honey, I'm home! And I think I still need to catch up on the thread a bit....but for now, big smoochy wet kisses to FJ, turbo, culture, diva, poodle, minx, kel, moxie, arcadia, rose, tyger, GT, treehugger, grrrl, and anyone I'm missing!
I actually got a compliment on my headscarf at the grocery store! You know, the headscarf I'm wearing to cover up the fact that my hair is falling out. I thought it was pretty funny, in an ironic sort of way.
I bought myself more flowers! Yay! The tulips at Safeway are starting to look kind of old (if you can't get 'em before the flowers open, why bother?), so I wound up getting mini carnations instead. Which aren't my favourite, but they were cheap enough for an unemployed bum like myself. Plus, these ones are a nice rich purplish-pink (roseviolet!) colour that makes them look almost NOT like carnations.
It's like now I MUST have fresh flowers, for some reason....if I get any poorer, I might have to start raiding gardens!
(I'm actually really tempted to go lilac-stealing right now....)
culture, if you have never tried special cookies before - honestly, I'd consider waiting till the weekend, if you can. You could easily still be stoned the next morning, and if you have to work....well, you could get in a lot of trouble. Especially if you're bucking for a promotion and a superior suspects you're high! It is really easy to get THAT high your first time, because you won't know how strong the cookies are, and you'll probably also be "sampling" the cookie dough....not that I do that or anything, *ahem*! But I've tried to never do my job under the influence of anything stronger than Sudafed. (Ok, except that whiskey incident, when I turned 19 and had to wait tables that night.)
Ok, off to read the day's postings. But not before saying - MINX! Heed the advice of our wise woman, turbojenn, and as she says, we're all here for you darling.
ETA: Jerry Falwell kicked the bucket? That's so awesome! God finally called him home! (Or was that Oral Roberts?)
May 15 2007, 09:36 PM
Mmm, samosas. I FINALLY had real, authentic samosas this weekend (I'd had the frozen ones from Trader Joe's before and the Ethiopian equivalent, sambusas)....omg. Here's
where I went (turbo, if you're ever in that area, you should definitely check them out....and call me if you do! I'm like 8 minutes away from there!)- my mom and i had the keema samosas, which were filled with lamb...it was one of the most complex-flavored things I've ever eaten. So many spices that pass over your tongue and up into your nose.
((minx)) I was mostly lurking when you went through the previous round of this, but you need to do what's best for you and your little one, and I think some very good advice has been given here.
Yay for rose and the house! It will be the best of times, it will be the worst of times. I hate moving. But I love having my own house.
May 16 2007, 12:59 AM
Wow - I just spent the past hour catching up with you guys.
FJ - Sorry you have been having a crappy time at your job, but I'm glad you took a you day, and that's so cool about Mr. FJ's and your unexpected windfall.
Turbo - that beebee is so very very cute. Widdle Redhead. And I'm so glad to hear that you're loving your new job. I can't imagine riding my bike for 45 minutes - and you were probably going fast, too. I'm so out of shape.
Poodle - Kisses on the neck are so effing-A hot. I don't care what they mean or don't mean. That Nile guy is hot. Cool that you get to hang out with him outside the Y sometimes.
Diva - if I ever move back to the Cities, I would totally work for you! Wait....you're kind of a hard ass, aren't you?
Kari - Sorry about the miscommunication with your mom. That's sad, but I'm happy to hear that you've worked it out.
tyger - ~*~*~*station agent vibes~*~*~*~ You didn't mention HBI in your post! What about your HBIs?!?
kelkello - I got some people you can punch in the neck and stab in the eye. My makeout friend gave me the cold shoulder last night, and Morticia's makeout friend turned out to be an asshole. She really needed to make out, though, I say. Too bad he's an asshat.
doodle - If I was into weed, I would totally make those cookies. They sound fun to make, eat, and experience, but, alas, I don't do weed anymore.
tree - Your supervisor sounds like a poop pocket. Why can't you just do something you're good at and that won't FUCKING HURT YOU!!! Sheesh. Seems easy to me.
GT - Loved your drawrings. Those birdies are so so so cute!
Grrl - sounds like you and c-monkey had an awesome time getting pedicures. Cute grrly time together. Nice tootsies, BTW.
Wow - I know I'm missing something. Sorry! There's just so much going on!
So, yeah, Morticia and I went to 80's night last night. It was fun, but my makeout friend showed up and when I went up to him to chat, he clammed up, slammed his beer and took off. He told me he was really tired and had a rough day. Then he disappeared.
I also saw a guy that I got an HBI from recently, and he said hello and shook my hand. Shook. My. Hand. Thanks, dude. Thank you for the warm, pleasant, firm grip.
I felt like such a loser last night, I slipped up and went to Banana's and spent the night. We didn't do anything except snuggle up together with the dog, but I can see that Banana is going to be a hard habit to break if it is this easy to just go back to his place.
I went to the Friends of the Library book sale yesterday. I got a big ass humongous bag of books for $5. Mostly cookbooks, but I got a bunch of Barbara Kingsolver books, and some other stuff, too.
OK, dudes, smell ya later.
May 16 2007, 02:00 AM
uh... i still have to catch up on all the posts, but in skimming i notices, that pk said what, here to fore is my phavorite phrase:
May 16 2007, 05:20 AM
Mornin' ya'll!! I'm soooo sleepy today - didn't sleep well last night for some reason. Its cold here this morning - spring in the midwest is so wacky - 80 degrees yesterday, and now its 48 degrees. No biking today, either, as the skies are a little too dark for my liking.
poop pocket!!! bwahahaha! PK, you always can make me laugh!
And hi hi doodle darling!
Well, not much else to add here, and its about time to head into work. See ya'll tonight!
May 16 2007, 05:45 AM
Morning ladeez! Its quite here in the office, and grey and clamy outside. The perfect day for sitting at a desk and BUsting! It was DAMN hard to get out of bed this morning, as both moxieman and the kitty were cuddle-centric and the bebe was snoozing away, and the sheets were just put on last night. Sigh...but, I'm here.
(((minxy))) Yeah, everything that everyone has said. You are strong enough to break this addiction, you ARE. Penis Power
shall not bring you down! Neither the wee one who runs nakey or you deserve this kind of man.
To further the Indian food discussion, we went for Indian food monday with moxette. Gals, she LOVED every bite! She even dug my dad's spicy okra masala (it was cut with rice and yogurt, but still). I'm SO glad that her picky eater habits are more or elss about WHEN she wants to eat and not what.
OK, we had both babies (ours and BFFs) over last night. The 2 kids were a riot. At one point, we caught them hugging! And, our camera was nowhere to be found. Phoey.
So, since i was racked yesterday, here is Good Things Wednesday:
1. My lawn is getting watered by mother nature
2. I actually made it out of bed this morning
3. Lunch meeting at my favorite middle eastern restaurant
4. Quiet day at the office
May 16 2007, 06:50 AM
Good morning good morning.
Doodle, I see where yiou are coming from, I don't normally sample cookie dough, but I also don't want to get so stoned. I just want to bake, I'll pick up the ingrediants then make them this weekend.
Turbo, ugh, that's shitty about not having a good night sleep. Here's to tonight. It's also cold here this morning.
Hi PK! Oh books for cheap! Boo, on boys being jerks.
Moxie, word on the BUSTing, as per usual, my web browser is usual open to BUST at work, and I'll BUST in between doing my work. Which I haven't felt like doing lately. I have reports, and some stuff that I need a coworkers help for, but she's away ill. Not so good.
Bwaaahahahahah, I second GT's I love poop pocket, what a great phrase. Love.IT.
*takes some of poodle's cack* Who on earth would name their child "Oral" what kind of name is that???
Kel, I just love the fact that you are the okayland enforcer! Hee.
Well, I worked out last night, then took poochie to the park, then picked up and chatted with my friends for a while and came home. That is all I did last evening. Tonight I have to take puppers to the vet to get her heartworm pills and her board attela (sp?) to help prevent kennel cough, since I take puppers to the off leash park all the time, I don't want her to get anything nasty. I have a quiet day here today, I hope, and that's it so far.
How is everyone on this Wednesday?
May 16 2007, 07:16 AM
It is cool here today too, and wet. Like CH, I'm not complaining...it's been freaking hot lately. This is a nice break.
(((Minx)))) Girl, I am so sorry things went down like they did. I think the wise busties have given you some good advice. I know the situation really sucks.
Jenn, glad to hear your new job is going so well! I know they are going to love your work. The pics from the baptism are great! I will be on my own this weekend too, Mr K is heading out of town for a week.
Grrlll, your pedicures are nice! Love the color you got on your toes. I am considering getting one this weekend myself.
Moxie! That is so rad that moxette likes Indian food! Woo!
Rose, I am so happy things are going smoothly with the house. ~~~~review vibes for sheff!~~~~~~~
Hi diva! Yay! For getting registred for classes for not much money! Woo hoo! I know that takes a load off.
Poodles, I share your sentiments re: Jerry F. Ugh.
Hi PK, doodle, polly, & GT!
Things here are pretty good. I did my first day at my practicum site yesterday. I didn't get to see any clients, but should be able to today. Other than that, it's just work as usual for me. I did end up going to my mom's on Monday night. I brought her a really nice hanging plant. I think I am out of the dog house. We are going to dinner and a play on Friday night, which will be a lot of fun. I had a friend email me out of the blue yesterday. It's a girl I drifted apart from & don't really have any interest in reconclining with. What to do, what to do.
May 16 2007, 08:26 AM
FJ, yeah, if the unit's that old and you've had people to look at it, I'd have to say you're probably right. But, seriously, really, honestly, you will extend the life of that unit as best as possible by going out to the outside part, removing the cover, and taking a garden hose with one of those mixing things you use for fertilizer...we use a diluted acid to clean these, you could prolly find it at an HVAC type store. The stuff we use is called "actibrite" and it's pink. It's really strong though, so make sure you seriously dilute it. Spray out all the muck from the aluminum fin-stuff, sometimes it looks like tinsel, sometimes it looks sort of like metal corrugated cardboard. If it looks like tinsel, be careful not to hit it with too hard a blast from the hose...you don't want to flatten it out and restrict the air flow. Take your time and make sure you get it as clean as possible..it might take a half hour or more of constant acid water spray. Then rinse it thoroughly, the acid is corrosive and you don't want residue to be left on the tubing, it'll get pinholes and lose the refrigerant.
It will help the compressor SOOOOO much. Check the fan, too. Sometimes around the shaft (ESPECIALLY IN THE OLDER UNITS) there's oil ports....oil that fan, clean everything all up, and it will help your unit a TON.
Oh, and turn the unit OFF at the disconnect, before you do all this.
Actually this is advice I'd like to give to ALL the busties who have a central air unit.
And, I wish I knew somebody in your neck of the woods that could cut you a break on a replacement AC....I can actually put a replacement one in up here in wisconsin for, oh, $500 or so, but that's cause I have connections who'll sell me the parts at cost, and I can do the work myself.
~*~*ac vibes for fj*~*~
(((((minx))))) there's nothing for me to say that the wise Busties haven't already said, but you deserve so much better than a controlling, mentally unstable, abusive guy like that. I was involved with one like that for way too long, so I totally understand.
~*~*feel better vibes for minx*~*~
kari, I'm glad you're out of the doghouse with Mom.
CH, enjoy the cookies this weekend! It's getting closer!
And moxette likes indian food! Very sophisticated taste, she has. And boo on missing the cute pic! Hate it when that happens.
~*~*sleep better tonight vibes for TJ*~*~
PK, booo on those asshats!
Wow, I'm so excited about Rose's imminent move! Squeeee!
Include me in the group who's doing the Happy Dance over jerry falwell. Bigot.
So, this is going to sound totally ironic and silly coming from somebody who uses pipe wrenches for a living...but I. Hate. Plumbing!!!!!! I started out yesterday thinking I was just going to replace an o-ring in my kitchen faucet, it's been leaking around the base of the lever....bought a repair kit and tore the faucet apart and permanently damaged it before realizing that the repair kit was the wrong one...but anyway my faucet was Farked, and so I went to Home Despot and since I'm still in limbo with work/comp right now, got the cheapest one I could. Well, it turned out to be probably just as expensive in the end as finding one that'd actually WORK with the sink layout I have!!!!
Six, no less than six trips to the hardware store yesterday....blech.
So, I think the reason that my boss is resistant to me going back to building maintenance, is because it's easier and there's lots of guys at our shop that are capable of doing it. But not so many are capable of doing the refrigeration work. So, since he *thinks* I can do the refrigeration work, he's convinced he's going to leave me there. I just have to convince him that I can't do it. Some of the guys have gotten themselves removed from certain types of work by screwing up BIG TIME....to the point where it's obvious. But I'd have thought flooding three floors of a building would be a big screwup...hehe
May 16 2007, 08:31 AM
So i"m not craving such crazy food anymore. I finally got my period. Which doesn't help as I'm in the mood for lovin' and I just don't feel comfortable with boy 2 for that.
Tree, your boss needs a kick in the shins for being such a dip. I'm so jealous that you can do all your own repairs. Are you still getting the VCH?
Hey Kari! I'm glad that you and your mom are better now. I've almost caught up on work. OF course I could jinx myself now.
Now my mother is driving me nuts. She wants me to load her ipod, using my itunes, but with her music, thing is, that it's taking all my music and putting it on hers, but hers does not have the space. I have an 80GB, her's is an 8. so she is asking my constantly, and sending my e-mails on the manual. I know how to use the fucking ipod, I have one. It's itunes that's being an asshat. Don't send me shit when you know nothing about ipods or itunes. GAAAAAAAAAAAA.
Well, I should get back to work now.
May 16 2007, 09:06 AM
That *is* funny that you hate plumbing! I would not have thought that. That seems like such a roundabout way to have to go about getting a different work assignment. Sheesh. You'd think they would rather people not mess things up. Is there no chance of you convincing him?
Hi Ch! Glad your food cravings are over. Also that your work is getting caught up. Sorry about your mom driving you nuts. When are you going to be able to do it for her? At least that will get her off of your case!
May 16 2007, 09:12 AM
In theory, I should be able to do this tonight. In betweem taking puppers to the vet, working out, and taking puppers to the park. I think I need a day off.
Speaking of which, the supervisor at the cool office told me that if I need a day off, I can take it and her and I can figure out how I can make up time without me going through my actual supervisor. Thank goodness, I just need a day. Or an afternoon. That's it!
I feel like I'm loosing my mind, all I have is work right now. Eeeeck!
May 16 2007, 10:01 AM
Happy hump-day everyone!!!!!
I'm glad because I have a doctor's appointment with one of the brain doctors today and hopefully he'll make some changes with my meds. It's also a great excuse to leave work early.
"Poop pocket" Bwahahahaha!!!!! PK, Is it okay with you if I start using that??!!
~*~*~*~work vibes for treehugger~*~*~*~
Culture, doesn't your ma have a computer? If so, then I would just get her set up and give her a little tutorial. She's gonna have to maintain the thing afterall and you can't do that for her every time.
I'm glad things are cool with your ma, kari!! A hanging plant is a great mother's day gift.
Hi turbo, mox, kel, girltrouble, and all lurkers!!
I made Nile and one of the other Y dudes copies of my Rat Pack Live at The Sands album. I also made Nile a special Frank Sinatra CD with all of my favorites. Of course, I got a huge hug and a kiss on the hand in return!! Neck kisses are little less appropriate inside the Y gym. Still, I'm anticipating another neck kiss one of these days.
May 16 2007, 10:11 AM
argh, i'm in procrastination hell. it's actually a wonder that it took me this long to get here. i've been so positive with the job, even in the face of doom, but i just can't seem to wrestle up the energy to make calls today. i've made a couple but nothing like what i should. i've GOT to get out of this mindset and at least try. i think part of it is that i'm now 32.5 weeks pregnant and TIRED as shit. i had to pull myself out of bed this morning at 10am. didn't get up yesterday until 11, so this was an improvement.
tree, thanks for the advice on the ac. we'd thought about calling in a service guy but that sounds reasonable enough for mrfj to attack on his own. i would imagine even a hosedown without the acid would be a good start, but we'll see what we can find. would home despot have something like that? i hope you can talk your supervisor into letting you work in bldg maintenance. i mean, if you can't do the job you're in, you'd think he'd at least want someone with your abilities in a different dept.!
((minx)) i love you girl and as much as i love being the girl that cheers for the relationship to work out, this one just doesn't sound good. minxman is turning weasel-y again. and wtf is that comment about his mother would know what to do? seriously, that is a bullshit move on his part. i know you'll do what you need to do and remove him from your life. don't wait around for him to do it for you. you have the upperhand and control in the situation. tell him you are done and walk away. you've already had your doubts anyway. you'll walk away with lessons learned and this will not be two years wasted.
i think i might be the only one in the world that doesn't own an ipod. we just never bought one. i'm tempted to buy one soon though. for the bebe, yes. for the bebe.
i'm sending everyBUSTie else vibeage and love.
oh, and poodle - neck kisses! yum!! i usually greet/send off my "boyfriends" with three kisses: a quick mouth one, one on the cheek or jawbone and then one on the neck with a hug. i don't really plan it that way, it's just the way it happens. but it's definitely something i do with endearment. friendly friends only get the cheek kiss.
May 16 2007, 10:34 AM
My laptop is the only computer in the house... I just get frustrated with her that she keeps on asking me. I know you want me to do it, but I have me time too. I was just venting. I'm not so stressed anymore.
Poodle, I think that more neck kisses from Nile are in order!
FJ, I feel you on procrastination.
So, you know how I said I was caught up, I just got a load of work to do, but that's okay. I don't mind, it's stuff that won't take long and I can do then not worry about a few screens and send out letters. Sweetness. Well I'm meeting a friend for lunch, later all.
May 16 2007, 10:40 AM
All last week I was asking for something to do, and now that I have something, I don't feel like doing it and all I want to do is hang out in the lounge.
An ipod probably wouldn't be great for the bebe's ears, unless you had it hooked up to little speakers instead of earplugs.
May 16 2007, 10:47 AM
yeah, that's what i meant poodle. they even make little ports that attach to cribs now. but i don't know. we have a cd/mp3 player that seems to work just fine. at this point, we need the cash for other things anyway.
May 16 2007, 11:13 AM
*shuffles bleary-eyed into the Lounge, emits jaw-cracking yawn, scratches self*
*mumbles something unintelligible*
May 16 2007, 11:37 AM
*hands Doodle a large mug o' coffee*
Well, I'm back, lunch was nice. Now I have to go back to work.
That is all.
May 16 2007, 11:38 AM
Yeah, I don't know what he was trying to say with that statement...that it is easy to get him to snap out of those moods or what. It seemed to me that there was an underlying "when I get like this, somebody else needs to help me get out of it". I never mind helping someone get out of a funk or helping someone work through an issue; I mind when it becomes malicious in nature and he becomes what I perceive to be vindictive. I noticed that the entire week after I tried breaking it off he became very overly concerned about what I was telling people. That he didn't like people talking about him. That perhaps I was talking shit about him. Well guess what? If you weren't displaying crapweasel behaviors, the perception of events would be totally different. I dunno, it's like he thinks I put a "negative" spin on what he does or that I am non-judicious in my perceptions.
I just spent too much time writing two more paragraphs trying to justify why I am angry (notice my proper use of TWO, TOO, and TO?)
I'm not going to do that. He asked me today online if I thought that he should go see the counselor first, and then the two of us together. I told him that I didn't know. We are going to talk tonight, and I'm just not sure what I have to say to him. I'm so tired...the ex-asshat is on one of his wild rampages again accusing me of the most heinous shit, and I have this wedding in Wisconsin this weekend that I am leaving for tomorrow.
I have more to say, but this is feeling really self-centered and whiney. It was a really good run for about five months, and I am devastated that it has come down to this again.
ETA: I'm a dink. Thank you, all of you, for being so supportive and not doing an "I TOLD YA SO". I really appreciate it, and the support is keeping me bouyant right now.
May 16 2007, 11:45 AM
MINXY- GIving something a good solid chance is never worth "I TOLD YOU SO" and any friend who does that shit-heel move, you just send this way.
Now, as for dealing with the ex-asshat...my heart goes out to you about that one bigtime.
May 16 2007, 12:33 PM
Word. Relationships 'n' shit are way to complicated to do the "I told you so" thing.
Will there be an open bar at the wedding? If so, I suggest that you get hammered and dance to some Young MC and Sir Mix-a-lot.
Yay!! I get to leave in 40 minutes!!
I'm really craving beer, but I already ate a donut today, so I feel guilty. My co-worker brought them in and I couldn't resist. I just can't resist sweets when they're sitting there in front of me. Ah well.
*hands doodle a donut*
May 16 2007, 12:54 PM
No real friend is going to say, "I told you so!" That phrase is just so smug & deplorable. There's no room in this situation for an attitude like that. As for who should go to counseling first, that depends upon the counselor. Based on my own experiences & the experiences of friends, he may start the counseling alone for a while & then you'll come in later. But as for him worrying about what you're telling people? Puh-LEEZ! If he wasn't behaving like such a manipulative, demented asshole, you wouldn't have anything to talk about. I mean, just look at my situation by comparison. I love my husband & I've never posted a negative thing about him on Bust. Does that mean he's perfect? Or that our relationship is perfect? Absolutely not. But the sort of fighting we do is the normal squabbles that are unavoidable when 2 people live together. But even when we fight, we still respect one another. We never call one another names or destroy one another's property or make the other person feel frightened. That sort of behavior is abusive. It only makes sense that you'd reach out to others in that situation.
Grrrrrr. Just .... grrr.
Mkay. Back to the chore list.
May 16 2007, 01:07 PM
what the....? i finally find the perfect endochronologist, one who actually gets me, and she pulls a houdini on me. i called in sick to the welding program (you only get 3, and this is #2 for me), because i thought there might be trouble in this respect. if you remember i've been trying to get my driver's licence changed from m to f, and i thought i had everything well in hand. not so. the license people got my paperwork, but the letter from my doctor didn't say what she did. yeah, it was on hospital letterhead, but it didn't have her title on it so they needed more info. so i tried calling the hospital... they said she was on vacation till the 10th. so i call today only to be informed she's "left" and they have no contact info.... goddamnit, can't anything be easy? can't anything happen that has to do with my gender change without there being a kazillion little fucked up, absurdist hurdles? keeeee-rist! i think i am going to crawl back in bed and cover my head with blankets. this sucks.
May 16 2007, 01:17 PM
yeah, minx... we're your buds. we don't play that "told ya so" game.
poodle, hope the doc can figure out what to do with your meds. sounds like he just needs to dial them back a bit. enjoy the time away from work!!
well, mah girlz, slap my ass and call me sally. i FINALLY heard back from my "friends". they've decided to put me on a guarantee. it's still not nearly as much as i WANT to earn, but it at least gives me some motivation to be on the phone. the male half contacted me and told me about it. he ac-fucking-knowledged finally that i've been working hard and that the lack of money in my account has nothing to do with a lack of effort on my part. basically, he just told me that i can count on making ten times more this pay period than i'd been counting on, which is about half what they told me i should be earning with them, but still plenty to keep us from having to worry about our finances. and from now on, i'll make the guarantee or the commission, whichever is higher. plus, they're getting rid of the non-closers in the offices i work with and hiring some new people, hopefully some with more experience. and, he apologized for the incident where my lady showed up to an empty office, whereas his wife had told me it wasn't their fault since the lady showed up an hour early.
jeebus, i can't even tell you guys how much of a relief this is for me. i've been so worried that i'd have to put jackaroo in daycare immediately after his birth so that i could go find a new job!! now that isn't even a bit of a concern. i don't know where the friendship lies still, but i feel a ton better about the working relationship.
i just had to come and tell you guys.
*tackles doodle, steals donut and licks the whole thing so she won't make me give it back*
eta: ((((((((((((girltrouble)))))))))) i'm sorry! wow, that is really insane! i have no idea what to do in that situation but the first thing that pops into mind is to see if you can track her down through other means. i'm sure it won' tbe as easy as looking her up in the phone book, but you might check with some of the local hospitals and see if she has any office hours there or if she works through them...
oh, and rose, mrfj and i had a conversation about that sort of thing last night. we are on a couples-based forum and we were shocked that one of the threads was about how often people tell each other while fighting that they want a divorce and how often they actually mean it!! i just can't wrap my head around that. mrfj and i have our disagreements sure, but as you put it, we respect each other through them. we don't throw up the past or crazy bullshit like that. we've both been there and done that in our last relationships, where we both victims of emotional and sometimes physical abuse. couples fight, yes. but it's HOW you fight and how you get past it that really makes the difference.
May 16 2007, 01:22 PM
I told you so is by far, one of the rudest things a person can say to a "friend", it's like you are getting some pleasure out of the mistake they made. You are friends with a person, you should be there for them without question or judgement.
Sweetie, we would never judge you. I got arrested in my own house! I could never judge you! It's funny now.
I just busted one of my clients!!!!! *pats self on back*
well I should go back to work now.
May 16 2007, 01:31 PM
FJ- YEAHHHH!!! Ms.Turbo and I were just commending your superior work ethic on saturday, and this is GOOD PROOF. I hope things keep going UP UP UP for yoU!!
May 16 2007, 01:50 PM
I almost forgot to post this....Apartment Therapy is having another Small Cool Apartments
contest! Lots of real people's apartments and other small space dwellings to peruse!
By the way, did y'all know AT has a "nursery" section
now, for you mamas and papas?
Apologies in advance, I'm gonna x-post this in the Decor thread.
Hey, why is my doughnut soggy?
May 16 2007, 01:52 PM
GAH...(((((((girltrouble)))))) you and the gender change, me and work. comp. Geesh. Just one, aggravating little picky fuckup after another. *fluffs up the Okay duvet
FJ, congrats on the guarantee! That's gotta take a LOT of stress off. And I was thinking....the purpose for the acid is it gets in between the fins and foams up and loosens the dirt. Any foaming-up type cleaner would probably do the same thing...so, maybe that'll make it easier for you to find something that'll work.
I've told Bear lots of times, that every time the words "I told you so", or "You shoulda listened to me" come out of his lips, he loses BJ privileges for a week, hehe
CH, congrats on the bust.
ETA: GT, was the only thing missing from the letter, her title? Maybe the facility she worked for would be willing to vouch for her credentials to the DMV people. It might save you having to hunt her down.
Wow, it's getting really dark here, I think there's a storm brewing.
May 16 2007, 02:09 PM
Oh jeez in my working I didn't even see the FJ and GT posts.
FJ, That is so great about work! Good for you sweetie!
GT, that is so shitty, I'm so sorry that this happened....
That is all.
*scuttles back to work*
May 16 2007, 02:25 PM
*walks up to Doodlebug and gives her a gentle smack on the butt...and whispers, thank you for the "not so nice nurse", chica...
SQUEEEEE! I can't believe I got your package so quickly. And thanks for the surprise of the cards! New reading material!
I guess Canuck outgoing mail is a lot faster than US outgoing mail.
May 16 2007, 06:32 PM
Good evening everyone.
So I have another cute fire fighter story. I went to the grocery store tonight, and there were more firefighters there, one of them was the cutie I saw the last time I was at the store. Then I stood in line behind them in the checkout and stared at cuties ass. It was very nice. I lurveth the fact that there is a firehall down the street from me. Now if only I could do more then stare and drool. I saw them and had this big goofy smile in my head. Good thing I was in my car when that happened.
Now i'm watching spongebob on tv.
I hope that everyone is having a good evening.
May 16 2007, 06:50 PM
Hi hi everyone!! Just got in from work, then mentoring the kids, and a quick dinner at our favorite hot dog stand. The kids were fucking hilarious tonight, and doing some really cool stuff, so it was fun to be there, and I really got to help them, so that's good.
Tree, I caught your storm just as I was leaving the computer club - it was crazzzzy, so I called turbomann to pick me up - yay!
WOOOOOT!!! for FJ's guarantee! Good for you for really pushing for what YOU need to make this job work!
(((((Minxy)))) We love you, my dear, and want nothing but the best for you. And I truly think that only good things are ahead for you - start visualizing and making it happen! We KNOW how powerful you are, and its time for your fortunes to change!
Kari, shall we have some bachelorette cocktails this weekend?!
(((GT))) I'm sorry your doc flaked out, and that its causing you more work. Grrrrr.
Mmmmm, firefighters....always a tasty bunch. One of my good friends from the old job is married to a chicago firefighter, and lemme tell you, BBQs at her house are jam-packed with many fine fire fighting specimens. YUM.
Okay, its bathtime, but I'll be back in a bit.
May 16 2007, 08:16 PM
Oh turbo, fuck am I jealous of firefighter BBQ's, this is the second time I've run into this particular cutie. And he's really cute. And I could smell them. Mmmm, they smelled good and looked good, and nice tushies all around.
I think I need to start taking the dog for a walk past the firehall, here's hoping that the doors will be open. Mmm.
*slips into fantasy land*
mmm, hello sexy firefighter, I have a fire. IN MY PANTS!!!!
Ooops, sorry about that. *blushes*
That is all, I need some food now.
May 16 2007, 08:56 PM
QUOTE(culturehandy @ May 16 2007, 10:33 PM)
mmm, hello sexy firefighter, I have a fire. IN MY PANTS!!!! Exactly what I was thinking, CH!
((((((GT))))) So sorry to hear about the flaky doc. You'd think that a doctor would leave some forwarding info, ya know? Sheesh.
Doodle, any chance you place is part of that contest?
FJ, I'm so glad to hear that worked something out with the "friends"! I know it isn't what you deserve, but at least there's a little more stability there. As for the fighting with the partner thing, I totally understand what you're talking about! It's definately about how you fight. There have even been times when things felt a bit heated & we chose to take a little time-out, but we have always done that with the understanding that we will come back to the issue & talk it through together.
(((((snuggles for Tree because she's so darn cute))))))
So, I have good news & good-news-that-isn't-quite-as-good-as-we-would-have-liked news.
1. Got the report on the appraisal and the house is worth more than we are paying for it. So we will have already earned some nice equity as soon as we sign the paperwork on Monday! Woot!
2. Sheff had his annual review today and he got a 5% raise! However, he really wanted some extra vacation time, too, so that he could go back to England and visit family. But they don't want to give it to him. He even offered to take a much smaller raise, but they said no because they thought it might encourage other people to try to "buy" more vacation time. Poop. This sucks because we know people who negotiated for extra vacation when they were hired & they got it, so what does Sheff have to do to get the same thing? Sigh. It put a real damper on the situation.
May 16 2007, 09:12 PM
Quick flyby here, it's getting late for me...but rose, can sheff take unpaid time off? He could put aside some of that 5% into a savings account to use to supplement the check he wouldn't be receiving when he went traveling. Like, maybe the amount he was willing to give up as a raise, to get the vaycay?
Just a thought.....he could even earn interest on the $$ too!
May 17 2007, 05:03 AM
I'm pretty sure that's illegal, GT- once a doctor sees you for something, you are in their care and they are responsible for you. I'm working for my cousin who is a dentist and she's had difficult patients before- people who are just not nice and/or don't show up for appointments, stuff like that. Legally, she still has to treat them unless she dismisses them in writing. She has to right a letter saying as of such and such date she will no longer treat them. I think she also has to tell them another place they can go. I'd report it to your state medical board.
((hugs to all)) I'll post more later!
May 17 2007, 05:21 AM
Polly, how's the new jobby job? I'm sure you can tell us all about it on Sunday!
Rosie, I think polly's got a good idea with the unpaid time - I was able to do that at my last job. And Hooray for the appraisal and raise!!
Its COLD here this morning (44 degrees), and very very windy, so no bike ride for me this morning...I'm getting to be very choosy about my riding days with such a long commute.
Okay, time to get outta here - see ya'll tonight!
May 17 2007, 07:15 AM
Good Morning everyone.
It's Thursday! YAY! The week is almost done, and there is a long weekend this weekend! Hurray! Too bad I'm not going camping.
RV that is so wonderful about the equity and Sheff's raise, bummer about the vacation time.
Turbo, I don't blame you, cold and long commute, I wouldn't do it either.
One of my file's is MIA and I don't like it one bit. I think there is a file monster here who is coming a eating the files in my cabinet. Hmmmm. File troll.
I don't have much to add this morning, and I've got shit loads of work to do.
May 17 2007, 07:21 AM
Good Morning! Happy Thursday! I always feel so much better on Thursday, we are over the hump of the week.
Rose, congtats to Sheff on the 5% raise. And on the high appraisal! Nice! Sorry to hear about the vacation time. What about treehugger's idea? Would that be possible. I hate for Sheff not to see his family.
FJ, I am happy you were able to work out something with the people. Good for you for holding them accountable to what they told you. Are you still feeling really tired? I can't even imagine.
It's cooler here today too. Which is nice. It was getting way hot.
Gt, ugh, I am sorry. I know that is really really frustrating. I think Polly has given some good advice. I don't have any, I am not knowledgeable in medical laws. (((GT))))
Jenn, I'd love to have some bachelorette cocktails this weekend! I don't have internet at home though, so we can't chat while we are having them. boo hoo.
Poodles, how did your drs appt go?
Doodle, you should definitely enter your digs into the contest! Are you thinking about it?
Hi CH! Hi Treehugger!
Things with me are pretty good today. I saw clients at the hospital last night, so that is good. I only did one session that counts towards my client hours, but hey, that's something. Hope to get another one in today. I made some really good soup last night when I got home. It was a tomato base and had okra, zucchini, green beans, corn, onion, garlic, fresh basil, & parsley. Really good stuff. Suitable for the cool weather we are having too. Our garden is really starting to take off. No vegetables yet, but the plants are growing and growing. The cabbage plants are looking especially good.