Mar 23 2007, 09:49 PM
((((FJ)))) sorry your job is causing you to stress so much. at least you know you could always go back to your old job if you really wanted to. i can understand your disppointment in your new job. it doesn't sound like they are supporting you. terrible. oh, and take a drink if you want to. it is ok.
turbo, i'm glad you are feeling better!!
doodle, yay for the new haircut!
(((kel))) sorry you are feeling down. hopefully things will get better with kelman. take care of yourself!
sorry if i'm leaving anyone out. i'm kinda tired. long day at work. tomorrow will only be busier. but, i will be ending the day with a great concert. i can't wait.
Mar 23 2007, 10:00 PM
[drags self in]
Ugh. Headaaaaaache. That's what I get for spending the entire afternoon driving around looking at houses. Wish I hadn't left my sunglasses at home. Bleh.
Boo on unhappy job situations & illness. And boo on fights with signifigant others (Kel, Sheff & I had a fight this morning, too. Sucks. But we're over it now. Hope you two can talk it out).
But hooray for Doodle's hair! And fabulous job offers! And cack! And the fucking weekend, by crikey!
By the way, I suck because I basically skimmed the archives. My eyes hurt so reading hurts. Hopefully I'll catch up more tomorrow.
I'm trying to decide whether we should go for that house or not. We would definitely keep all the trees. The problem is that the house is over 20 years old. And the two bathrooms are seriously the smallest bathrooms I have ever seen. I think your average handicapped bathroom stall is bigger than these bathrooms. We could live with it I guess, but they're just so miserably cramped. I think we would have to do some major rennovations just to keep up with the market. And the idea of rennovating a bathroom & tearing down walls to make room for it all sounds like a complete and total nightmare. Do we love this house enough to take that on? Can we get the place cheap enough that we can afford to do the work it needs?
I feel like giving up on the whole thing and just buying a house next year.
Mar 24 2007, 12:04 AM
You have some significant negatives about the house, rose. Are you working with a realtor? If not, maybe you should consider it. They'd be able to find out what you need and want and do a lot of the leg work to find a house that would suit you. If there's no reason for you to move immediately, maybe you should wait- maybe a house in the same area as that one that has some of the updates you're looking for will come up for sale. When we were looking, my realtor was telling us what easy clients we were- she said she's had clients who she's been looking for houses for for years and they couldn't find what they wanted. Realtors are pretty understanding about "we're looking but not really looking" and they'll just keep an eye on the market for you.
I hope your head feels better!
Mar 24 2007, 08:10 AM
*sobs into thread*
KelMan broke up with me this morning. He said I deserve better than someone who can give me so little time and attention. He says he can't live with the guilt of what it's doing to me. He effectively made the decision for me that I need to find someone else. Fifteen months gone. Poof.
*sobs out of thread*
Mar 24 2007, 08:42 AM
Mar 24 2007, 10:42 AM
Kel darling...I am so sorry that you are feeling this pain right now. I'm no relationship expert, but I'm definately no fucking break-up novice: get thee to thine friends immediately. Call all of 'em. Go drink a ton of whatever favorite beverage that can be found and feel what you need to feel. I bet dollars to doughnuts that Turbo and other righteous members of the Pink Mafia will be in here shortly with some sage-ass advice and councelling.
Until then, I am thinking of you.
Mar 24 2007, 10:47 AM
(((((((((Kel)))))))))) I'm so sorry to hear that you're in pain, dear. Definitely take Minx's advice. Call a girlfriend & make her take you out ... even if it's just to walk around a park or drink some coffee. (((((Kel)))))))
Mar 24 2007, 11:09 AM
Darling, kel, I am SO sorry to hear that kelman ended things...and while it seems like your frustrations have been mounting for awhile, its harder to have that decision made for you, when you were unprepared for this outcome. So, minxy and rosie are right - call up a good friend or three, and let loose a little this weekend. But more than that, be kind to yourself, and slow down, and find a way to close this relationship for yourself in a way that honors you, and allows you to let go. Smudge your house, meditate, create your own ritual to release and reclaim yourself and your time for whatever YOU choose next. And isn't that what life is about - *choice?* You're a strong, independent, creative, freewheeling woman, and while your relationship with kelman allowed you to retain your independence, it also took some of the choice out of your relationship - it was never about when YOU chose to make time for him, it was about fitting your schedule to his. And in the end, it became frustrating for both of you. However you choose to spend this weekend, be gentle with yourself, and know that we're all here to surround you with love. (((((kel))))))
Rosie, darling....seems like you're having a lot of headaches lately - is that normal for you? I used to have migraines all the time, so I know what that's like, and it is no fun. ((((rosie's head))))
Well, I have the new couchlette! Its very comfy, but the back of it is a lot higher than I expected, and it looks a little out of proportion with our small livingroom. Mostly, though, we just have too much furniture right now, and the extra couch in the second bedroom has GOT to go. I hope someone from craigslist will take it off my hands for free. Once the spare couch is gone, I think I'll be able to see where the new couchlette needs to live...it may belong in the second bedroom, I dunno. I'm still glad we got it, for sure.
And now, I am exhausted, from all of the couch moving, so I'm going to take a nap.
Mar 24 2007, 11:57 AM
Thanks, everyone, for the support. I think I'm going to need a lot of it. If I seem self absorbed the next few posts, it's not because I don't care. I feel zombified right now...like a walking dead woman who has crying jags. I'm going out with some friends tonight. The hardest part is that my true, desert island friends all live at least 3 hours away. I have one close friend in town and a few ancillary buddies. What I really want to do is curl up and sleep and wake up and find out that this didn't happen. I know it won't happen, but that's what I want.
Turbo, congrats on the new couchlette. I hope the furniture situation works out. I went with my mom today to look at sofas for her. I didn't feel up to it, but I went anyway. Life is going to have to move on somehow.
Mar 24 2007, 01:16 PM
((((kelkello)))) Aw, that really sucks, hon.
Mar 24 2007, 01:30 PM
kel, feel free to be self-absorbed 'round here for as long as you need - we all take our turns, no worries. I'm the same way - my desert island friends are all 5+ hours away. And there's nothing wrong with taking the weekend for sleep and rest.
I just had a lovely 2 hour nap...I'm still exhausted, though, so I think its a weekend of rest for me too.
ETA: Anybody know a good cleanser for microfiber upholstery? The new couchlette could use a little light cleaning here and there.
Mar 24 2007, 02:50 PM
Everything turbo said, kel. Just "be."
turbo, that's so great you went and got that couchlette and ottoman! I'll bet you're right about putting it in the other room - that's the one with the massage table and the mirrors, right?
Ok, speaking of decorating, I posted some pics over in the decorating thread
- I need opinions! (Special tip for Okayers...you can see Georgie's ass in one of the pics. ETA: ooh shit! I just realized you can also see my pipe on one of the shelves. Waiting for me to walk by it again. Ha!)
Mar 24 2007, 05:20 PM
Well, I've just spent 2 hours flopped on the new couchlette in the living room whilst watching The Holiday (an extremely predictable and fluffy delight), and I'm not sure I can relegate it to the second bedroom....its SO comfy. I think I'll be able to see more clearly when the other couch is outta here. Which means I should get to posting it on craigslist again.
Doodle, I'll run over to decorating for ya....
Mar 24 2007, 05:59 PM
I'm so sorry hon.
Hi okayers! I'm going to catch up. Went on a bender last night, just woke up a little while ago.
Catch up later.
Mar 24 2007, 06:48 PM
((((((Kel)))))) Hon, don't you worry for one second about sounding self-absorbed. We just want you to be good to yourself, okay? I hope that your time with friends tonight reminds you that you are a beautiful & dearly loved individual. We're here for you whenever you need us. (((Kel)))
((((Turbo)))) You are such a sweetheart. Just wanted to say that. Hooray for the new chaise/couchlette/thingamy! Sounds positively decadent.
Doodle, I always love seeing pictures of your place! What happened to those chairs from Ikea with the slipcovers you dyed?
~~~~ Hangover Helper vibes for CH ~~~~
We have come to a decision about the white house. And we've decided not to go for it. I know, I know ... it's difficult to say goodbye, but we think we need to. I did a bit of research on how much it would cost us to do the renovations. Then I took the lowest estimation, added that to the price of the white house, and then searched for houses at that price in the same area. We found one we liked, so we toured it today. And oh my goodness ... such a great house! The land is smaller, but the house is much bigger. And it has a two car garage! And a garden tub! And an additional half bath! And a beautiful layout. And because it's only a couple years old, there will be no need to get a roof or water heater or whatever. And of course, no hassels with renovations. Quite an eye-opener! It made me realize that, because of our current situation, we're better off avoiding a place that needs major renovations. We probably won't get the house we saw today, but I think we'll be very happy if we end up with something similar.
We also met a nice real estate agent today. We're giving him a trial run, but he has already impressed me more than the other agents I've met. He said that he'll work with us for a couple of weeks and if we like what he offers, we'll sign an agreement. I already feel more at ease knowing that he's on the case. Fingers crossed that this is the right guy!
Mar 24 2007, 07:44 PM
Okay, I'm all caught up now.
Damn, look what happens when I'm away for a day. Last night was a busy one.
Went to see my friend at the bar she was working at, as she just called things off with this guy she was seeing.
Then I went to a wedding deal-y thing with some people from work, then went to a another bar type thing, not a bar, but not a oub or lounge either, then went to the bar.
Got home at 3:30 this morning, slept uuntil 11:30, got the paper, went back to bed, until 2:30, woke up, cried a little, was a little emotional, that whole scared of feelings, running away from problems crud. Took the puppers for a loooooong walk at the park, and now here I am. Had a bath, and it'll be bed time soon.
Turbo, I'm well and truly jealous of the couchlette.
Doodle, awesomeness about play some Iron Maiden. That actually reminds me of Bill and Ted's Excellent adventure, because they love Iron Maiden.
RV, I hope that house stuff works out!!!
((((kel)))) girl, we are here for you! Don't worry about being selfish at all hon.
Well I'm KO'd, just bloody exhausted. I'll talk to y'all tomorrow. Have a good night.
Mar 24 2007, 09:28 PM
Nighty night, CH!! Sounds like you had quite a time last night!!
Rosie, you made the right decision on that house - there's a great house out there for you that will fit all your needs, and it sounds like you're well on the way to finding it with your new broker!
I've been coughing alot tonight - my abs are actually sore. ugh. Getting some pretty colored gobs of goo too. eep.
We just watched The Prestige - *excellent* movie - I actually had no idea how it was going to end -- pretty rare in a hollywood film these days.
Mar 24 2007, 09:55 PM
RV, that's great that you found another house even better than the first! This new one sounds like it has all the amenities you've been looking for, especially that garage.
Turbo, what exactly is a couchlette? Is that a loveseat or something else entirely? It sounds very comfy. And thanks for your kind words of advice on the Kelman situation. They really help.
I'm getting to the anger phase of this day, now. Who the hell does he think he is to make my decisions for me? I told him I was a grown woman and could make my own decisions, and he looked at me tenderly and said, "No, you're not a grown woman." How fucking condescending can you get? I'm almost 33 years old, I have taught 8th graders for 11 years, I have a responsible job, I pay my bills, I deal with an alcoholic mother, a crackhead brother, and an absentee father. Who the hell is he to tell me I am not a grown woman and I can't be trusted to decide what is best for me?
Culture, sorry for your hangover and the feeling emotional/crying. I'm right there with you, but probably for different reasons. I didn't know it was possible for one person to cry this much.
Doodle, I could use that pipe right now!
My mother got very drunk and nasty tonight and refused to let anyone drive her home. I hope she is okay. She was saying horrible things about Kelman, and I told her to stop. I know she wants to protect me, but she doesn't understand. I don't hate him. I love him. This feels like someone I love has died. It's not quite the same, but it's the closest approximation I can come up with. I feel like a part of me is withering away and won't come back.
Thanks, again, everyone for your support. You have no idea what it means to me.
Mar 25 2007, 08:22 AM
Good morning all!
I just woke up...and I woke up to this beautiful day - I grabbed the camera just so I could share it with you! I can't believe how still the river is. When the sun's a teeny bit higher, it will fill the yard (it's already starting to hit the beach as I type this), but for now, here's Sunday morning, 7:15 AM, at doodlebug's place:
Mar 25 2007, 09:12 AM
Ah kel, I'm so so sorry. I can't really think of anything to say other than what was said earlier. Just know that we're here for ya. Like minx said, you got the Pink Mafia behind you!!
Doodle, those pictures make me so jealous!! I'm overlooking an alley right now.
This weekend was okay. I worked out on Friday night and watched Legally Blonde. Yesterday, I did my "spa" day at the gym (exercise, steam room, pool). Afterwards, I thought it would be fun to take the cats out. Gus loved it as usual, but Oscar had a serious meltdown. I think it's official now that Oscar can't handle any change in his world. Last night sucked. He was afraid of me, which is unusual. I couldn't go anywhere near him without him letting out these awful screams that I'm sure the entire neighborhood can hear. He sat in the bedroom for a long time until I went in there to give him more food. I stood still for the longest time and he calmed down a little, so I quitely crawled into the bed. After an hour or so, I could hear him eating the food and then he hopped up on the bed. He slept next to me last night, so that was good, but he's been having trouble this morning, too. Everything is fine for now. He's sitting in the window about 3 feet away from me. Gus is in the bedroom.
Anyway, it sorta ruined my spa day. I was hoping to do some laundry and enjoy a beer at my parents house, but I ended up having to be a pet psychologist for the evening.
Mar 25 2007, 09:24 AM
Mornin' doodle! What a gorgeous morning you have before you! Its unexpectedly nice here too, this morning...I'm sending turbomann off to play paintball today, I'm feeling pretty cruddy again today - I think I overdid it moving the couch in yesterday, so I'm just going to laze around the house today.
Sadly, though, I think I'm going to have to skip tartlet's baptism - I'm wiped out, and I don't want to take my horrible cough out in public around little kiddos. Boo....I was really looking forward to seeing the tart family and star and polly. Ah well, I can only follow my body's orders today.
Yep, Kel, the couchlette is a loveseat...I'll take some piccies later this afternoon for ya'll, if I can figure out what's happening with all the furniture 'round here.
((((kel)))) I hope you're taking good care of yourself this weekend - good cod, you have a lot of heavy emotional stuff on your plate right now. I am SO glad you're not going to your brother's wedding, at least you can defer that one to another time when you feel more prepared to talk to your father. And your mom...gah, that's a hard one too. I think for now, though, your job is taking care of YOU...you are not responsible for the choices of your parents.
ETA: Morning poodle!! Awwww, little Oscar is such a sensitive boy! He's lucky to have such a devoted momma to care for him. Would he be okay if you took just Gus outside to play?
Mar 25 2007, 09:49 AM
Pinkpoodle, sorry for your cat trouble. Poor Oscar! He sounds like some people I know...unable to deal when things get a little off kilter. The librarian at the school where I teach is like that. Ask for one thing that wasn't on her to do list, and she basically yowls like a cat, only in English.
I woke up and was doing fine. I called the cable company to order cable installation because I just know I won't make it through this break up without something to help put me in a vegetative state when needed. And for some reason, talking to the cable people made me break down. I barely made it through the call without crying. Once I hung up I sobbed for half an hour. Poor Soji. She gets so upset when I'm upset. She just sits there and puts her big ol' paw on me and grunts. I called a few friends and sobbed/talked. I want to call Kelman so bad. He always makes me feel better when I'm sad. But, of course, he can't make me feel better about THIS because he is the cause of this. I miss him so much it aches. And it's going to get worse before it will get better.
Doodle, love your view. I looked at your pics on the decorating thread. Your place is really beautiful. I love the flowered chair. I've been really into retro florals lately. I'm in a curtain quandary...I have none and want some but can't decide what to put up there.
Turbo, too bad about the baptism. But if your body is saying no, you are right, you should listen to it. My body is telling me to hole up and sleep. But everytime I drift off, a thought wakes me up and I start crying again. At night I take an anti-anxiety drug to help me sleep. It gives me about 7 hours of sleep. So at least there's that.
Mar 25 2007, 10:52 AM
Good Morning okayers!
I am much better this morning. Le man came over after he went out with his friends, so he came here at 2:30 in the morning, and stayed the night. I got him to stay in bed for a while.
Doodle, it looks beautiful there. It's nice here, but not sunny, it is supposed to be 14 degrees here today. I took the puppers to the park for a walk, and it was limited, so much melting snow, and lots of water everywhere.
Turbo, how you feeling today? ~~~healing vibes forturbo~~~
Poodle, I'm jealous of your spa day!
((((kel)))) how are you feeling sweetie? You will survice this, you are an amazing strong woman, don't forget this ever. I know it hurts, cry when you need to, sleep when you want to. Some people say stay busy, but do what you have to do to heal from this. You will heal. I felt the same way after my ex of 6 years just upped and left one day. I cam home from work and he was gone, took his things. then the next day he had me arrested (as he tried to push me down a flight of stairs, and then I beat him up). I've done time (only like an hour!), but I'm not afriad. I'll be the bust lounge enforcer! Hee.
I bought a really cute pair of sandals yesterday, they are beachy themed flip flops with a purple flower on the sole. They are cute and only cost 8 dollars!
How are the okayers on this Sunday?
Mar 25 2007, 11:04 AM
the computer im on doesnt have apostrophes or quotes so bear with me (not that anyone has ever expected good punctuation from one of my posts, but still...)
hope everyone is feeling a bit better, if they were sick.
kel- im so sorry about the kelman. seems to be something in the air. i know of 3 other break ups. its not much fun all the same, but the way i always figure break ups is the same way i figure firings or quitting a job:that its an opportunity to do all those things i couldnt when i was at the job-- ie, go see movies, start getting dj gigs or whatever floats my boat. now you have a chance to do all those things that you couldnt. so when and if you decide to see someone youre gonna be even more bad-ass cool that the kel that we all know and love.
poodle- i have this clear as day pic of you in one of those booths from the peanuts comicstrip, sitting there like lucy with a sign that says :pink poodle, pet psych.
i was thinking of you as i was listening to the radio today, a local radio station does a fantastic country\bluegrass show. today they did a show on women vocalists in country and it remined me of your debate on that guitar board. i never really thought about how that debate is tied to earlier struggles. they had this woman who did a great personal oral history of women in country. if there is a podcast i might link it later, but it was really interesting. she was talking about how kitty wells (credited with bthe first woman to sing country) only got on record cos her husbands singing partner went off to war, making her (love this) countrys rosie the riviter. she was talking about how record guys just couldnt understand why anyone would pay money to hear a woman sing. and she kept saying, "and they i had to get mad at .... because they said" and it was one quote after another discounting any sort of contribution women could give to music, country or otherwise. i loved it. she left out my favorite country singer, rose maddox, who was also not supposed to sing, and pushed aside her brothers to become the bonified star of the family. sorry about my rambling, but i had to share. it just astounds me the little nooks and crannies that sexism finds its way to....
rosey, that new house sounds great, the best part sounds like you arent tied to anything and are looking to find a house that fits you, not vice versa, which is great. god did that make any sense?!
jenn who makes that ottoman? i have a window in desperate need of a window seat. 2 of those might just be perfect!
culture, your ex sounds like a psycho. i hate people who can't even own their feelings enough to say it isn't working. blech. what an ass.
*waves to all the okay critters*
i have been avoiding the dog/puppy thread because i know i will lose it, and want a pooch of my own. but today i am having a temporary easing of my pet jealousy, since i am dog sitting my ex's monster(6mo. old mastiff) pooch, bella. i love her terribly, but she is the size of a german shepard and.... she's adorable. she hasnt got the breeds trademark jowlyness yet. she just looks like a giant puppy. months ago i accidentally came across a website for a breed that looks like a mini husky here:
sooooooooo cute!!!!!! ive never been one for yappy lap dogs, but i love huskys. i am seriously tempted. the whole welding thing might portend a whole new era of stability in the trouble house, and i might need to have a talk with my landlord when training is done.
but for now, i think i'll take bella baretta for a walk while its (relatively) sunny.
Mar 25 2007, 12:37 PM
Culture, well, at least I didn't have to go through THAT. Geez what a fucking psycho.
Girltrouble, my dog is my solace and my joy. I highly recommend dog ownership to those willing to take the time for it. It's a pain sometimes...I can't always find someone to care for her if I want to go away. But, she's worth it. I wouldn't be without my baby.
My friends in real life and my friends here in bust land have been really there for me lately. I don't look forward to these next few weeks. It's going to get worse before it gets better. Guys, I need you to help convince me not to call him. Every ounce of my being wants to reach for that phone, but it will not make things better for me. Please remind me why I can't call him, okay?
((((okayers)))) thanks so much for being a little place to come and be sane for a minute.
Mar 25 2007, 03:24 PM
Kel and GT, he was a bit of a nut. It was crazy. He never trusted me, and would question everything. Very controlling abusive situation.
Kel, remember what he said to you. He said you weren't a grown woman! Call a girlfriend, take the puppers for a walk! Remember you will get through this!
Blah, me and le man stayed up really late last night, chatting, among other things. I'm tired today!. Yet again, but for good reasons this time.
GT yay on maybe getting a puppy!
Having a dog can be so enriching. I know with Emily, that it's nice that she's always in such a goofy happy mood. She drives me nuts sometimes, but she's really so great.
Mar 25 2007, 04:38 PM
ah well, i grew up around dogs, they were like friends, i would hang out with my grandmas dog, or the farm dogs and then there was the dogs at the house and dogs at my house, so i knew 6-7 dogs at any one time, and usually different breeds, so i always miss it when there aren't any around. my ex and i went to the dog park. there was a shibu inu there named ruthie. i have a crush on ruthie. if i could get a tiny shibu i don't think i could resist. but i don't know if my landlord will put up with me having any type of dog. and that's the problem. i can't move since my rent is about 300 under the average for the area, and a bit larger than the average too. but, incase you were wondering. if i do i have a name based on the perfect pet name formula (or ppnf; which consists of a honorific/or title and a food), the name would be: "rear admiral peanut"
hey poodle, i forgot a powerhouse vocalist, because i can never remember her last name. she fronts the band the bellrays, who are as rock in that kind of MC5, kick out the jams, motherfucker, kinda way as any band can be. god i love the bellrays. i want to see them open for wolfmother. *drool*
kel, the thing you have to resist is R&R: relationship revisionism. don't fall into the trap of thinking about only the good things in the relationship. be sure to deflate that balloon soon as you see it. but also, everytime you pick up that phone, listen to culture and think about the grown woman comment, but chase it with a, "i won't give him the satisfaction of letting him know i miss him." that does the trick for me. in 6 mos you can find the friendship, but you need to have a cold turkey period for a while. no talking, unless it's taking care of business. you don't want the temptation of being weak.
Mar 25 2007, 05:26 PM
Madre de dios, kel! Put down that phone. Back slowly away from the keypad. You can do it!
Seriously, I wish you were here; we could smoke a joint and I'd make you a strawberry hot fudge banana split, and just play you lots of sad songs on the guitar.
But don't phone him.
Oh and don't worry about holding it together on the phone. Last month, a nurse from the hospital phoned me when I was in the middle of a crying jag. And I told her I was crying, and WHY! Just: bleargh! Out it came, like vomiting. So at least you didn't do that to the cable people! (Though nurses are probably more used to weeping than the cable people are.)
Mar 25 2007, 06:03 PM
GT, those little mini-husky dogs are so adorable!! Oh my goodness, I had never heard of that breed before. I don't think the breed is recognized by the AKC yet, or I might have seen them on Westminster. But oh my ... so cute!
Kel honey, please stay strong. If you call him, it will hurt more and you are already hurting far too much. If my BestGalPal were here, she'd tell you to change his name in your cell phone to "Douche Bag" or even an affirmation like "You deserve so much better!" so if he calls you (or you call him, even though you better not!), the message will pop up on you phone & give you strength. When you feel tempted, just go for a walk or call a friend or post in here. We love you & we're here for you!
(((((((Oscar)))))))) Poodle, that must have been so hard. Has Oscar spent much time out of the house in the past? Was this his first time to leave the house since he was at the vet's office?
A little while ago, Sheff and I stepped outside into the most gorgeous evening. I just had to take some pics & share them with you all.
Mar 25 2007, 07:41 PM
Girltrouble, Shibu inus are the cutest little dogs! An old boyfriend of mine had a roomate who had one. They look like tiny foxes. His name was Howard and was a little neurotic, but man, he was adorable.
RV: Is that your house? How beautiful! Hopefully whatever you end buying is as idyllic as that setting. It's been a crappy weather weekend here. At first it was warm but rainy. Now it's cold and cloudy. I long for some warmth, but not too much. It seems the seasons here come in extremes. There's never a real spring or fall. It's cold one day and then, shazam, it's dog days of summer. Very little transitional weather.
Doodle, my cod, I wish I was there! Except for the sad songs, that sounds like the perfect evening! I would want you to play fun rock and roll songs instead. I would sing along. I love to sing.
My friends here (and *here*) have rallied around me and that has been a codsend. I've managed to book up the week with things to do and people to see. I have a rotating phone roster of people to call when I'm freaking out. And I always have the okay couch to cry on. I had great night tonight at Barnes and Noble with a group of friends. It made me feel better. I still have random crying jags, but I bought a journal tonight so I can write out my thoughts. First order of business: list of reasons why I know the relationship was not working. And I *did* know it wasn't working. I just didn't want to admit it. It's hard when two people desperately love each other but the timing and circumstances are completely off.
Culture, what kind of puppers is Emily? Soji is full on mutt, but I tell people she's an Aleutian Short Hound from the Aleutian Islands (which I'm probably spelling completely wrong, but oh well) They think it's a real breed until I tell them she was bred to fight off blood thirsty penguins. People still believe me sometimes because let's face it, some people aren't that bright.
Mar 25 2007, 08:19 PM
oh i know, rose, they are adorable, although i've always been weirded out by husky's blue eyes.
and incase someone doesn't know what kel and i are talking about,
below are pix of a shiba inu, they are very fox-like and are kind of a wee bit cat like in temprament (they're independant, love to clean themselves and hate to be dirty and the almost house break themselves). now what i'd love to get is a mameshiba, which is a toy or mini sized one. which ever is smaller since i have only an appt. i just love inus, their coloring is so pretty, great eyes and super curly tail... oh, shiba inu, you are so cute!
either way, i'd want to name him/her president pickle chips, but i'd probably go with something else... dutchess kim chee? commandant kipper? kieser waffle? grand puba sushi or congressman corndog...
speaking of a dream, rose, your place looks so adorable, if i was you i'd be hard pressed to leave that one to even look.
kel, you have to post pix of soji, i'll try and restrain my doglust and culture used to have a pic of one of her dogs, in the back of a car. i fell in love with m.l.e. she looked like she was born to run...
Mar 25 2007, 08:40 PM
Hi ya'll.... a quick post before bedtime here - I've been trapped in the comcast internet void here all day, and finally got a tech on the phone that was helpful. Apparently we were using "bad IP addresses" to connect to the internet. That's a new one. But anyway, I'm back, after a full afternoon of watching chefographies on foodtv. How many ways do I love Tyler Florence?...many.
Shibas are Soooo cute! My brother and SIL just brought a lil shiba puppy home a few weeks ago - his name is Nimbus, and I'll try and get some piccies to post of him tomorrow. cutie-wootie little ball of fuzz, he is! Still, a puppy is way more work than I'm up for - I'll take my floormat/greyhound anyday. Dog hasn't moved in 7 hours. seriously.
Rosie - that house is sooo cute, is that where you live right now? Gorgeous with all those blossoms...our crocuses are just peeking through the dirt up here, so in a couple weeks we'll start to have some flowers too.
Oh, and doodle, you'll be happy to know that in a fit of cleansing this afternoon (in which I overexerted again, duh), I have made peace with the new furniture, moved a couple pieces to the massage room, and now I LOVE my new living room with the new couchlette and ottoman (which I also cleaned to perfection with a Magic Eraser!). I'll get some piccies of that posted tomorrow too....I don't have the patience for flickr at the moment....my bed is calling me.
Kel, my dear, you are beyond amazing...even in grieving for the end of a relationship, you are not only surrounded by love, but really working on putting the relationship in perspective and starting the process of moving on. You are one amazing woman. Much love to you, and rest well tonight!
*and a big hug to GT, who will have a pupper of her very own in her life very soon...I just know it*
g-night, my dears!
Mar 26 2007, 07:02 AM
Mornin everyone. Monday morning, and its supposed to be 78 degrees, and I've got my window open already - how weird is that?!!
I'm still not feeling great today, tired, and really really tired of coughing...getting up in the morning sucks, trying to clear my lungs. And now, I suppose I must get to the daunting task of catching up on work. blech.
Mar 26 2007, 08:02 AM
Kel, EMily is a Border Collie Cross, but it mostly border collie. She doesn't do the creeping up like border collies do. She loves to herd thing though. I'll try and load a picture of her later. My stuff of her is on my laptop, and alas, I am at work right now.
Turbo, I hope you feel better soon!
It is nice here today, they are calling for 20 degrees by wednesday! Lovely!
I think I'm going to go and look at buying a new cell phone! I really want another one. Since it's my own line of communication.
GT, I still super psyched about the puppers prospect! Any word on the welding thing yet?
Where is FJ? I know she's been lurking but not posting. Same with Mouse! Come back, we meece you!
That is all for now!
Mar 26 2007, 08:04 AM
((Kel)) Girl, I am so sorry. Breakups hurt like nothing else, don't they? I am glad you've found some ways to provide yourself some relief & good feelings. So glad you have a good group of friends to support you through this. Take care, and let us know if we can do anything to help. You'll make it through this.
Jenn, sorry you're still feeling cruddy. Ugh. It's always the cough that lingers, isn't it? Booo.
GT, those dogs are adorable!! OMG! So soft & cuddly looking!
Rv, it sounds like you made the right decison on the house. We saw some like that too, and just having to do all of that work seemed overwhelming.
The other house sounds promising!
Hi, doodle, poodle, CH, moxie, minx, and everyone else!!
I am feelin' pretty good today. I had a good weekend, a mix of relaxation, fun, and hard work. We worked in our yard yesterday, it is slowly but surely coming along. I am sore today though.
Mar 26 2007, 08:52 AM
Morning, gang. Glad to hear so many of you are enjoying nice weather on this Monday!
Woke up with a very unhappy tummy. I'm still not totally over it & I'm afraid to leave the house in case I get worse again. Bleh. I have sooooo much to do today, so this really sucks.
As for the pics, that is indeed the house we are renting right now. It's a truly gorgeous property. We're very lucky that the owner chose us out of the other applicants. The neighborhood is nice and quiet and everyone waves to eachother. It would be nice if we could live around here but Sheff's office is going to be moving in about a year & his commute from this area would jump up to 45 minutes each way (and that's on a good day). So we gotta move. It's okay, though. This whole area is very pretty, so I'm sure we'll find something lovely.
Mar 26 2007, 09:07 AM
morning all. (((kel))) I'm So sorry. It sounds like you're holding strong for your own best heart, though.
Rose, buying a first house is tremendously overwhelming. Rushing is the worst idea. Moving in a motivated fashion, though, well, its makes the process much easier. Turbo and I both read a book called "101 things every first time homebuyer should know" (or something similar). I can look for my copy...I don't know if we still have it, but if we do, I'd be happy to send it your way.
Ok, well. I'm home with a sick bebe today, and she seems to be waking up just about now from a too-short nap. So, I think i'd best be going.
Mar 26 2007, 09:21 AM
Moxie, that book sounds wonderful. If you find your copy, definitely let me know. Thank you so much for offering!
~~~~~~ soothing for Moxette ~~~~~~
Mar 26 2007, 10:39 AM
good morning, all!!
finished up my calls for the morning i guess. i could always make more. i got on the phone a little late today because we're having router trouble. so right now, i'm plugged directly into the wall so i can use the internet, which means i am sitting in the uncomfortable office chair in our home office with very limited mobility, lest i pull my plug! i don't know what happened to my router, but last night it just suddenly stopped working. very strange.
sounds like everyone is having lovely weather today! ours has been great for the past few days. we went to the beach even on saturday. then, we met up with some friends in the historic district and did some shopping, had a great lunch, filled up on ice cream, etc. it was fun since i had another pregnant girl their with me and we could sit and drink our lemonade while everyone else had refreshing beers. oh, and i DID have some wine on friday night. funnily, i couldn't even drink the entire half a glass that i poured. i got all warm and tingly after a few sips and poured the rest in mrfj's glass. but it was nice.
didn't do a whole lot yesterday except cleaning up the kitchen and do laundry. the kitchen looks really nice today, though.
kel, sorry to hear about the breakup. that really sucks, but everyone is right: don't call him! i love rv's idea of putting a self-affirming message in your directory so when he calls you, you'll see some great message to yourself and remind you not to answer!!!
sorry to hear about the sick bebe, moxie! (((((feel better sweet moxette!)))))
yay for new couchlettes!
Mar 26 2007, 10:57 AM
I so want to take the dog to the park today. The sun is shining, snow is melting, and that is the problem. There water absolutely everywhere, and I am not getting another bootful of water. Not nice at all.
It's lunch time, and I want to go spend money, but I really shouldn't. I found out I can get a new phone in two weeks. Yay! This one is starting to freeze up everyonce in a while. It is irritating.
That is all for now.
Mar 26 2007, 11:23 AM
Cod, I am so tired and crabby today, my job is REALLY annoying me. And even though I'm far behind, I spent some time looking for new jobs this morning - mousie and moxieman are inspiring me to get off my ass and do something about my work funk.
HI fj!! Sounds like you had a fab weekend! And I share your router wonkiness! I was doing the same thing last night, and my modem or router are still assigning "bad" IP addresses to my computer, so I dunno what I'm going to do about that.
I wish I had the energy to enjoy this weather today, but I think I'll be looking forward to a nap on the couch when I get home, with the breeze blowing in the door-wall. I may take turbo to the doggie park - ours is just an abandoned tennis court, though, so thankfully, it does not get muddy. But of course, turbo is too dignified for mud - he avoids it at all costs!
Yeah, CH - what is it about the first good weather of spring that makes us want to spend money? I gotta wait till the weekend, though - my bank acct is a little empty after buying the couchlette and paying Uhaul....twas worth it though. I'm so happy with my much more grown up looking living room...maybe this will be the summer we get the artwork hung up on the walls! heh.
Mar 26 2007, 01:32 PM
Good afternoon, Okaylanders! Quick post!
Continuing hugs for (((((kelkello))))).
RV, I love those pics! What a sweet house, and I'm so envious of your blossoms and bulbs...we are just barely getting buds on the trees here!
turbo, I really wanna see those pics! But please don't be crabby! *massages turbo's shoulders*
Hi also FJ, kari, culture, moxie, and GT....where th' hell is everyone else???
Tomorrow I see the kidney doc. Now I feel bad that I didn't rescue what might have been Dorothy from the toilet, 'cause I'm going to have to go through the whole embarrassing explanation of WHY I didn't check for sure and save the province the cost of another CT scan. But I guess a surgeon who deals with bladders and kidneys and urethras has probably heard it all, though. Weirdly, I'm fairly convinced it WAS Dorothy, because even though I'm nowhere near 100% yet, I feel a lot more "myself" these days. (Or maybe that's just because doodlemama finally went home! Don't tell her I said that.)
Well, I have to go out and get some supplies, or there will be no dinner tonight. Oh, who am I kidding? There COULD be dinner if I wasn't still too pathetically lazy to defrost things and cook real meals. But since I'd rather live on sandwiches and cereal right now, it's clear that I AM pathetically lazy. And in the immortal words of Popeye, I yam what I yam!
Mar 26 2007, 01:46 PM
it is super quiet in here today! where the heck is everyone???
i've got some tomato sauce simmering on the stove. gonna make some baked ziti later for dinner. my hands smell like herbs again. yummm!
doodle, i hope your doc appointment goes well tomorrow. i hope it was dorothy that passed and you won't have to deal with any more trouble again. and you're right, docs hear everything, so don't be embarrased about telling him why you didn't go fishing... you won't have to elaborate much, i'm sure.
turbo, i bet the wind is nice where you are. we've got a nice breeze here today and the trees are swishing and sounding pretty. we left the windows open last night and awoke this morning to the sound of birds chirping. i think it was a mockingbird actually. so pretty!
and RV, those pictures are gorgeous! i love the house. it's somewhat similar to our house, but we don't have to go up stairs to get to the front door. too bad you can't just buy that one, eh? well, except for the drive and all that...when your house is ready for you, you will find it. you're really in an excellent posistion right now.
ok, bath time for me. i just realized that i didn't take a bath yesterday. ewwwwwww!
Mar 26 2007, 02:21 PM
Yep, FJ, the breeze here today is actually nice, for a change...now if ANY of that would come in my window, I would be very glad indeed. Since we're in an archaic building, they can't turn off the heat until they really *want* to turn it off for the season, so the heat is on full tilt, and I don't get any air in my window, so its about 90 degrees in here...I've sweat through the back of my camisole and shirt night now. I guess I'm glad I wore black today - you can't see my nastiness as much.
Strangely, once I had lunch, I was much less crabby.
I'll post the pics as soon as I get home, doodle, so long as I can get the frelling internet to work again. And, I have some CUTE pics of my big brother's puppy to post too - so prepare for cuteness!
I think I may have to grill tonight - the weather is too lovely to ignore...so I think that'll be grilled chicken satay, peanut sauce and broccoli for dinner. Doodle, I totally understand not wanting to cook - and I love doing it...but thank cod I cooked up a storm last weekend, because leftovers held us through the week until last night, so I didn't have to cook while I was sick.
I would hope that your doc would understand your not searching for Dorothy!
FJ, are we gonna get to see those belly piccies you promised us anyday soon?
Mar 26 2007, 02:24 PM
Turbo, so true about spring and shopping. It's like a reawakening, and there is so mayn cutesie things out there!
The say is almost done! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!
Doodle, glad to hear that things are finally starting to get nack to normal!
I have 20 minutes left in the day, but I think I am going to jam out a bit early.
I'll check in with you kats later!
Mar 26 2007, 02:24 PM
Hello sunshiney chickadees!!
((((turbo)))) Sorry you've been feeling crappy lately. Curl up on that cute, new mini-sofa with a book or the new BUST.
Gah!! Those puppies are so damn cute, GT!!!
Well, things are almost back to normal in the poodle household. Yes, Oscar is a sensitive boy for sure. He's still a little tense, but he's doing much better and he's even letting his brother walk around in the open. Poor Gus spent most of yesterday in the bedroom, begging to come out. I couldn't spend a lot of time in there with him either because that would freak out Oscar. I suppose I'll just take Gus out from now on. He absolutely loves being outdoors.
Pooooh...my boss is back from her trip.
Mar 26 2007, 02:34 PM
~*~*~*~* Doodlicious vibes ~*~*~*~*
Still feeling crappy, so forgive me for not spreading more love & attention.
I talked to our potential agent today & I really feel like we're on the same page, which is great. He knows we're not in a huge hurry, but says that this will definitely work to our advantage. I did some research on him, too. He has a history in the home building industry & even did some work with Habitat for Humanity while attending his Ivy League uni. He's fairly new to real estate, though (less than 5 years). I'm wondering if that should bother me. Anyway, I'm going to ask for references & such. The other agents I didn't even like enough to get to that point, so this is a good sign.
Mar 26 2007, 06:16 PM
Well, I managed to read a little bit of the archives, and kel, I'm so sorry about the break-up. Really, I know it is so difficult, and let me say what everyone else has told you - we are here for you whenever you need us. ((((kelkello))))
And I am sorry to hear that roseviolet and turbojenn aren't feeling that great. (((RV))) (((TJ)))
I am safely moved into my friends' home. They are a couple with a nice house and a spare bedroom. They are kind enough to let me stay here for a while. I just feel really nervous and uncomfortable about intruding on their lives like this. They are truly the kindest people ever, and they wouldn't have invited me to stay if they didn't mean it, but I just don't want to get in their way, ya know?
Tomorrow, Pickle and I are going down to Mexico to tear it up a little bit. Some jewelry shopping, maybe a couple of margaritas, then we'll head home. I hope the weather is as nice tomorrow as it is today.
Today I went to my apartment to get the last (almost last) of my remaining stuff. Just some clothes, mostly. The thieves took all my toiletries, too. I had some cookbooks left behind as well, so I grabbed them. That's about it. All that is left are my couch and some things I can throw in the trash.
I hope to be out of that apartment completely by April 1. My lease expires on April 30, but I can't fucking stay there. I wish I didn't have to pay my April rent. It's just ridiculous.
I told Heikki about the burglary, and he is so angry. I debated on whether I should tell him, but I decided to do it since the burglars took a few of his things, too.
Anyway, I hope all you Okayers are having a great day. I feel pretty good today - sorry I am still dwelling on the burglary. I feel great today, though. And it's my day off, so YAYAYAYAY!
I called my mom the other day to see if she could help me out with some dishes or something. And Auntie Betty is going to send me some sheets and blankets. Before I move into my apartment in May, I'm going to try to get a futon or something.
OK, Doods. Smell ya later.
Mar 26 2007, 06:38 PM
Hi PK and poodle!!
PK, you'd think it would be the LEAST that your landlord could do to let you out of your lease early...have you asked? I mean, it seems extraordinarily likely that their own maintenance people were the ones to clean you out, and the apartment is already empty, they could find someone else to move in before May. It would seem the decent thing to do. And you had *better* get your security deposit back in full, with interest!!!
Ok, Doodle, after an hour and a half speaking with various kindly tech support people in India, we've unraveled our own wireless router issue, and we're back in business!
So, without further ado, I give you The Couchlette & Adorable Puppy
...a little something for everybody - decorating PLUS a shiba inu, just for GT!
I am *really* happy with my new living room...it feels very peaceful, the furniture placement is good, and even though there's more furniture, it doesn't feel smaller, rather it feels like there's a bit more of a conscious divider between the livingroom and dining/kitchen area.
RV, I think you can trust your instincts on your new real estate broker, and I wouldn't worry too much about him being new - he'll just be following contracts that are already written and well-looked over by legal staff...I think its much more important that you have someone that you really feel is working for you.
Mar 26 2007, 07:09 PM
Turbo what a fab living space you have going on there! And what a cute puppers!
((((pk)))) I hope everything works out. May Karma bite the assholes right in the ass. I'm so sorry is all I can say.
RV, sounds like you have a great broker! I am so excited for your house. I want to buy my own, but, alas, until something happens at work, I won't be moving out of my mom's house.
So le man came over after he went out with his friends on Saturday and we stayed up until 5 in the morning, he stayed over. the next morning my mom was commenting on what a nice looking man he is, and how CH has stars in her eyes. She thinks he could be "the one" as does my good friend K. I think it's a little early to think about that. Uhhh, it's only been, like, a month. Hee. He makes me happy. We were texting each other for 2 and a half hours while he was a the the bar with the boys. I have a big goofy, dopey grin on my face all the time. I didn't feel this way about my psycho ex (you know, when I loved him). Don't fuck this up CH, don't fuck it up.
I worked out today and took puppers to the park. What was shitty, is that half way along the walk, I lost my cell, so we back tracked and she found it. She sniffed it, looked at me then continued on her way. What a little smartie pants she is.
I had such a slow day at work, we will see how tomorrow goes. At least I am all caught up on work now.
How is everyone this evening?