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bklynhermit
hm. in one of the shots at pink is the new blog katie does in fact look mildly post-baby.

though, again (as in all of these carefully posed 'paparazzi' shots), she's wearing something that creates the desired effect. billowy white tunics are not exactly slimming. and anything that hits just below the hip like that will create the illusion of wider hips.

it's also possible that she has been gaining on purpose, you know, like the way charlize theron does in order to get nominated for another oscar.

the only catch here is that you'd think that if they were able to be this discerning about wardrobe choices and careful weight gain, one would think they would have been better about the fake bumpage.

i believe brooke shields and her new baby (born on the same day as suri's supposed to have been) have already been photographed by the paparazzi. as have gweneth and moses, born right around the same time. so i wonder: where's suri?
dusty
I expect to see Suri anytime now being dangled over the edge of a balcony by her doting father...
speedy
BunnyB, I'm afraid I have to disagree: Ms. Holmes did in fact have a baby. It was destroyed at birth, and she was sent home with a child born to a jackal mother. Expect end-of-the-world type stuff any day now.
amilita
I read some thing where Tom was talking about how much he loved his motorcycle and joking about how soon he could take the baby riding around...

So I picture him steering the motorcycle with one hand and holding the baby over his head with the other...with that manic smile on his face...
favour55
FROM MISS FAVOUR AND PETER
E-mail: fav_ab3@yahoo.com
Abidjan Cote D'Ivoire.
Dearest one...
Permit me to inform you of my desire of going into business relationship with you .
I am Favour Abraham, The first dauther of late Mr and Mrs Paul Abraham of Sierria Leone and my family comes from the royal lineage. My father was a very wealthy GOLD and COCOA manchant who based in ACCRA GHANA and ABIDJAN respectively, The economic capital of cote D’Ivoire.He was poisoned to death by his business associate on one of their business outings.
My mother died on the 21ST october 1994 , and my father took me and my brother Peter so speciall because we were motherless. Before the death of my father on the 22th April 2001 in a private hospital here in Abidjan , He sincerely called me on his bed side and told me that he had a sum of 15.500,000 US DOLLARS (FIFTEEN) MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND USA DOLLARS) kept in a security company in AFRICA and EUROPE. He also said that the security company does not know the content of the Boxes.He also used the name of my brother to Deposit the consighment as his first son for next of kin. He also explained to me that it was because of this wealth that he was poisoned by his business assocaites, That I should seek for a foreign partner in a country of my choice where I will transfer this money and use it for investment purposes, I want you to assist me in clearing this fund into your account overseas as a beneficiary of the fund, and also use it for an ivestment purpose, such as real estate management. My intrested areas of investment are; REAL ESTATE,
HOTELS, PETROLIUM INDUSTRY.
I am honourably seeking for your assistance in the following ways.
(1)To assist me to clear this fund from the security company and transfer to your account successfully.
(2) to provide a bank account into which this money would be transfer to.
(3)To serve as the guardian of this fund since I am a girl of 21yrs and my brother Peter is 18yrs.
(4) To make arrangement for me to come over to your country to further my Education and to secure a residential permit in your country. Moreover, I am willing to offer you 15% of the total sum as compensation for your effort /input after the successful transfer of this fund to your nominated account. Furthermore, you can indicate your option towards assisting me and my brother as I believe that this transaction would be concluded within 14days,from the day you signify interest to assist me.

Awaiting to hear from you soonest.
Please reach me through the E-mail address above,
to enable us discuss the modanities and send you my picture. my private Email: fav_ab3@yahoo.com
Thanks and God bless you as you for your anticipated
coperation.
Best Regards,
FAVOUR AND PETER
plynn
...screaming about how much he loves this baby. "Observe the sacred crotchfruit! Note her overall appearance of health and wellness!"

heh. sorry 'bout that, I get carried sometimes.

Anyway, I love how bored and annoyed Katie looks in those photos. Just like any sane woman would be if their partner suggested kicking around a ball as a 'fun' activity for their spare time. I mean, me and the hubby play the occassional round of bocce, but that's because we're dorks...
lucizoe
...yeah, the hands over her face in the last picture...you just know she's thinking "Oh, good sweet merciful God. Hey, you people with the cameras! Get.me.the.hell.outta.here!"

hee, plynn, "sacred crotchfruit"

I must say, if this is all legitimate, good for them for keeping the press away from the baby. I mean, it would obviously be a complete 180 for the attention-whoring-celebrity-couple-of-the-year, but it would be different and unusual.

Like how Adam Sandler announced the birth of his kid...like, three lines in a corner of his website. Who even knew? No one! And we were all fine for NOT knowing!

*calm*

sorry...I resent the damn TomKat for eating up brain cells
celimene
WTF is that Miss Favour and Peter shit? Anyone?
dusty
Don't tell me you've never seen any of that Nigerian spam before, Celimene?
mornington
plynn, you crack me up.

you know that they're keeping the spawn/sacred crotchfruit in one of those bubbles somewhere, and then suddenly they'll bring her out... in a mass of publicity. She's probably getting scientologist mumbo-jumbo played to her instead of one of those fisher-price lullably things.

I heard about adam sandler's kid on the radio, but just the once. Although that might have been jack white's baby. That was pretty quiet too.

oh, and did anyone else see the thing where suri was the name of ron l hubbard's cockatoo?
bunnyb
HIS COCKATOO? oh for fuck's sake.
mornington
I don't know if it's true (I read it on msn's celebrity news, I think).
The concept just amuses me. That & it's almost believable
mornington
ok, double-posting & this could go in the websites thread but...

what if tom cruise was god?

some of it very sick, and some probably nsfw.

bunnyb
oh thank you mornington! *wipes tears from eyes and giggles continuously*
livelyupurself
Oh mornington, I really cannot physically laugh as hard as I need to while looking at that site. It hurts. Really. *whimper*
karianne
Oh cod, Anna Nichole Smith is preggers. :0
auralpoison
Damn. Beaten by six minutes. I've gotta go to her website & see her clips announcing it. D'ya suppose it's Howard the attorney's kid? I always thought they were shagging... poor Kimmie.
lucizoe
oh, sheesh, I heard about that last week! Apparently this was all arranged as a donor situation (whether or not there were ol' fashioned relations involved I don't know, nor care to) and now the guy that um, provided the spermies, wants visitation and money, or something...unless I heard the radio wrong...

Why do I remember these things but cannot remember to return my loan info on time???
mandolyn
*clutching hurty laughing sides from the gospel according to st jerry maguire*

oh, mornington, thank you for that!

i already fear for the anna nicole spawn. even tho i am morbidly fascinated by her antics.
miss_jane
I don't know if I've missed this while skimming, but apparently the jolie-pittling was born by ceasarean because she was breech. That was the serious problem.
jemisoutrageous
I thought it was Kimmie's kid Aural, but I suppose you're right ,it could be Howard's.
snafooey
K-Fed cleans up

Instead of looking like a parasitic skeeze, he looks like a creepy banker/ex-frat boy. . .except with longer fingernails.
jemisoutrageous
My eyes! My eyes! Ewwwwwwwwwwwww. And those fingernails are so nasty!!!! (Running away.)
livelyupurself
EW. Smarmy much?
sassygrrl
Ewwww.... what's up with the nails?
lot49
Sigh. All those nails, and still no grip.

Funny how he thinks that people would be interested in his career if it wasn't for Brit and the kids. Dude, they just wouldn't be interested at all.

"My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is." Wrong on so many levels, all of which I'm too tired to explore and which must be painfully obvious to everyone anyway (everyone except K-Fed, of course).
sybarite
He looks like a used car salesman.
misspissed
why does he have long fingernails??
*shudders*
long nails on a guy is one of my utter turnoffs and gross-outs. blech!

and is he wearing a wig?
karianne
well, I have to say, he looks MUCH better than usual. Except those nails make me wanna hurl. GROSS.
celimene
Long nails make cocaine easier to cut.
greenbean
I wonder what Jessica Simpson thinks of Ashley getting surgery to look identical to her. I kinda feel sorry for them, like, Papa Joe is done with Jess, but hes got a clone to replace her.
Its what I thought was gonna happen with Jamie-Lynn Spears, but so far she seems under the radar...the second wave of fem-bot popsters are coming...
plynn
I just saw 'crotchfruit' listed in the Globe&Mail as an upcoming 'word to watch' - if we all band together and use it incessantly, it might eventually make the dictionary!

They defined it as a term used by rabid anti-child extremists to describe the offspring of 'breeders' - I can't say that I'm an anti-child activist (although I hate watching parents continue to recreationally shop even though their tired, bored children are throwing fits) but I do love the word. I got it a couple of years ago from another bustie in the Retail Hell thread.
amilita
Ashley's new nose is good, but the fish lips have got to go!

Daddy might have a new favorite...
auralpoison
Daddy Joe gives me the willies. Probably not the same kind of willies that he has for his daughters...

Okay, so I may be mistaken, but wasn't Matthew McConaughey just on Oprah this week talking up his romance with Penelope Cruz? Now they're splitsville? Maybe he & Oprah had one too many shots of tequila & got all freaky-deaky like?
raskel
*delurking*

That episode of Oprah was old. I saw it a long time ago.

*relurking*
bebesho
"i believe brooke shields and her new baby (born on the same day as suri's supposed to have been) have already been photographed by the paparazzi. as have gweneth and moses, born right around the same time. so i wonder: where's suri?"

I am still with the theory that she had the baby a month or so prior but kept up the deal to make the math work slightly better (make it look like his kid). So teh ygotta wait a few months now s othe ycan get away with lying about the babes age. I also believe they were not in the hospital at the same time as Brooke Shields..I mean no pics anywhere? Did I just miss them? I would guess they would have at least "been there"for a bit..and where are the gossiping hospital staff? the tabloids pay very well you know!
pagangrrl
I didn't think Katie even got to go to a hospital, did she? I thought it was all "quiet room" at some scientology center or cruise's compound?
ginger_kitty
I keep hearing Tom Petty might sue the Red Hot Chili Peppers, b/c thier new song Dani California has the same chords and what have you as his song MaryJane.

I have listened to both, and it can't be denied that they sound almost exactly the same. But I really don't believe the RHCP, would need to resort to ripping off anyone.
girlygirlgag
She had Suri at Cedar Sinai. Two floors down from Brooke Sheilds.
auralpoison
Ahhhhh... see I didn't watch Oprah much, but they recently switched affiliates here so I caught that the other day. My bad.
jezabelle
There are so many songs that sound the same, I can't say that off hand I can imagine MaryJane and Dani California sounding the same. So I'll definitely have to listen to the two, now I'm curious. I also couldn't see the RHCP blatantly stealing from Tom Petty or anyone, but then again I am a fan now and from back in the day.
tyger
it could be like the rolling stones 'anybody seen my baby?' and k.d. lang's 'constant craving'. they sound the same, but the rolling stones hadn't heard k.d. lang's song, and hadn't copied it. you'd have to be stupid to purposely copy a song and release it as a single. i'm guessing it just so happens that they both liked the sound of that chord progression, and thus dopplegangsongs are born
ginger_kitty
I think iit was definately unintentional, they are far to talented to become copy cats. And I mean there are only so many chord combo's out there things are bound to sound the same sometimes. I just hope Tom Petty doesn't sue. The radio was saying a "source" was talking about all this and that Tom Petty himself hadn't made an official comment yet.
jemisoutrageous
I heart The Fug Girls so passionately.....
Dock Shoes!!!! Hahaahaahahaaha!!!!

"As we've all learned from soap operas, if you've got a set of twins, there is always a good twin, and a bad -- occasionally even evil -- twin. This is just how it works. And the rule applies doubly when it comes to fashion -- there's the twin who generally looks good, and then the twin that usually ends up looking like an ass. Take Elizabeth and Jessica Wakefield. Jessica Wakefield had the cute striped bikini and flirty skirts and sassy little wedges. Elizabeth Wakefield had pleated pants belted right under her armpits and a pullover with snowflakes all over it and dock shoes."
cloverbee
I heart tom petty. if there were one person that I would want to meet it would be him.
ritahayworth
I love Rachel Weisz and Darren Aronofsky even more than ever for having a baby quietly and not releasing the name/weight to the press. See, it's not so hard to be freakin' normal about having a child.
snafooey
Whatever the intention, it sounds just like "Mary Jane" right up until the chorus. Still, I guess it's not exactly the most unique chord progression. I don't know - I think the Chili Peppers are a talented band, but their songs jumped the shark a awhile ago.

*the Californication-hater skips the thread*
zoya
oh snafooey, I am so glad you said that about the chili peppers songs, I feel the same way, but I always feel bad 'cause everyone loves 'em so much.

but then the chili peppers lost me after Blood Sugar Sex Magic... (I think their later stuff is weak)

anyway, back to your regularly scheduled thread...
pixiedust
Has anyone else heard about Oprah goign around the country "crashing" weddings? There was an article in our local paper this mornign that she crashed 2 weddings here this weekend(Never mind that the weddings she crashed were at THE.MOST. EXPENSIVE.venues in town. She brought gifts, and camera men and all this..took pictures with the bridal party.
Now maybe I am overreacting, but I think that is a little bit high handed of her to just invite herself to these peoples weddings and over shadow the bride! (She evidently found the weddings on knot..it wasn't a contest or anything.) I think she was sitting just a little too close to TC during the couch jumping incident!
roseviolet
Holy crap, Pixie! I just read an article about that from the affiliate in our home town. I'm sure it was exciting and all, but how rude! How insensitive! If Oprah had crashed my wedding, I'm sure I would have been too shocked to object at first, but you better belive I'd be furious afterwards! How presumptive of her to expect that she'd be welcome just because she's freakin' Oprah! UGH!!!
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