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luckyme
My coworker, whose pants I can't keep my hands out of, and I were on a flight back to New York City. We had been fucking all weekend and agreed once back to the Big Apple no more hanky panky. So, we're on this packed flight and making out and joking about fucking in the bathroom. Both of us Mile High Club virgins.

The plane takes off. The flight attendants pull the curtain and we're in the bathroom. Tight squeeze but I knew if he sat on the toilet and I sat with my back to him we'd be alright. We were more than alright. I came like gangbusters and he came all over the floor. So hot. We clean up. I open the door and the line for the bathroom goes a third down the plane. There's a ten year old kid staring up at me with a confused look on his face. I step out and the door slams behind me. I return to my seat, eyes down, giggling. He returns a few minutes later and asks, "did you look at anyone?" I told him I couldn't b/c I was laughing too hard. He said, "I looked every single one of them dead in the eye."

Shame on us.

We also fuck on the roof at work. And he pulls his hard on out of his pants with our collegues around. Pervert. I love it!
beansalad
Hey everyone, sorry to crash the thread, but I have a story that I *must* tell!

I was showing K around my new house, and we wind up in the kitchen, which is my favourite room. Granite worktops, pine cupboards and brushed steel fittings.... it's pure sex to me.

She's the most gorgeous woman in the world. Tall, beautifully muscled arms, high, full, round breasts, funky dark hair and a cheeky grin.
I can't keep my hands off her. We're pissing around, kissing, tickling, touching, giggling like school girls. Things start to get heated and heavy and her breath on my neck is turning me on so so much. Her eyes are magnetic and I just can't drag mine away. She's looking at me like she wants to hurt me, to break my skin, to bruise me and then lick my wounds and hold me for hours. The intensity of her is completely overwhelming and I all I want is to feel her inside me.

She grabs me by the hips and lifts me onto the breakfast bar (pause for applause.... I have a breakfast bar. This must mean I've made it). Her hands are everywhere. My top is around my throat and her mouth is hot and wet against my skin, biting, sucking and licking. She drags my jeans off and I finally get what I want as she slowly starts to fuck me. It feels fucking amazing. My hand is in her hair and her head is between my legs. It's all I can do not to fall backwards.

And then I'm coming... so hard that I can feel myself contracting around her fingers. She's making me sob and scream and moan all at once. I'm making a lot of noise but I don't care because it feels so damn good.

And then I hear something else.

'Hello??..... hello???????'

It's my new housemate, who I've only met once, in the hallway, only 2 metres and one doorway away from me, naked from the waist down, astride the breakfast bar, with a woman's hand inside me. Oh shit.

The look of panic that spread across K's face was priceless. I bet mine looked pretty similar. I grabbed my jeans and pulled them on as quickly as I could whilst K bounded out to try to shepherd new housemate away from the kitchen. I was shaking so much, it must have been obvious. The whole thing was totally obvious. I have no idea how much she heard but judging by the tone of the 'hello?'s it must have been sufficient to deduce what was going on.

K and I helped her move her stuff from the car into the house, cracking up every time we made eye contact. I had a sudden panic when I realised I wasn't wearing any knickers and had to go hunt for them in the kitchen. K had a similar moment when she realised she hadn't wiped the surface.

I'm just so glad that she didn't walk in a few seconds earlier when I know that I wouldn't have heard her.... and what was a totally hilarious (and pretty damn sexy) situation could have been one of the most embarassing events of my life.
maimy
*Thunderous applause*

(And not JUST for the breakfast bar!)

Hee. What a lovely story!
bunnyb
*bumpity bump for tes*
GoGoMassacre
I don't know if this story is funny to most, but I find it to be, considering I'm becoming more and more of a manhater. hah

Well, my boyfriend was feeling frisky one day. Myself....not so much. But he was all about doing the deed and so I went along with it. I wasn't against doing it, just not in the mood. And at the time, my boyfriend had gotten into this horrible swing of skipping foreplay all together. So what's he do? Just sticks it in and goes to town without preheating the oven, if ya know what I mean. Well he pulled out to switch up the position and notices blood on his dick. Confused wether or not it was him or me, he asked if I was due for my period. I was not. The blood was coming from his dick. I was tight and ended up tearing the frenulum on his penis. He was in a panic as more and more and more blood was coming out. He jumped in the shower while I was cleaning up some of the blood and he passed out and fell out of the shower!! We didn't have sex for 2 weeks out of fear and then when we did we used condoms again for like a month.
The situation helped me alot though. heh He learned from the incident. Now he doesn't just get in the elevator...he goes down.
mouse
oh, my god, gogo, that happened to my friend!! he told me this crazy story about the first time he and his girlfriend had sex without condoms, and basically the same thing had happened to him. i wonder how common it is?

and yeah, serves your man right for not preheating the oven. PSH. dudes.
GoGoMassacre
hah Yeah, it wasn't the first time we had sex without condoms, but I believe it's more common to happen when people start going withou condoms. I did alot of research for my boyfriend because he was scared and embarressed. heh But it seems fairly common. It just means that the foreskin was probably too tight in the first place so it rips and sometimes it heals and sometimes you need to get circumsized.
go_kayte
A very similar thing happened to me and my boyfriend in canada. I'm cutting and pasting this from a diff. forum where I posted it a while back:



My boyfriend and I went to windsor for spring break when I was 18. It's not such a great place for a vacation, but we wanted to get out of town and stay in a hotel for not much money. We got a room at this decent chain inn (i think it was a radisson) where there were only a few other guests.

So...just the two of us, in the room, getting kinda drunk. We went to make the humpings but there was a problem. It got stuck in the doorway, see, couldn't make it in. He was pushing to try and get it in there, when all of a sudden he screams and runs to the bathroom. I run after him and see blood spurting from the head of his penis. It looked like he was coming blood. And it just kept coming. He was screaming in pain.

I freaked out a bit, and called "911" a few times before realizing it's different in canada. I paged the front desk and asked them what the number for 911 was, which I think confused them a bit, but they connected me to the emergency number. Then as I was trying to explain to the emergency phone answerer, they wanted to send an ambulance, and I was thinking like I was in america and said "NO! DON'T! Just give me directions to the nearest ER; we can't afford an ambulance." It took like five minutes for them to convince me that there's no charge for ambulances in canada.

By this time the inn manager was banging on the door, demanding to know what was happening. It was this indian lady. I tried to delicately tell her that my boyfriend's "male parts" were bleeding, and she was horrified cause she thought I did it to him. She went to call the cops. My boyfriend is still screaming in the shower.

Paramedics arrive, and they get him to lie down on the bed with his groin elevated. There are five male paramedics, giggling, peering at my boyfriend's penis, at this point quite shrivelled from pain and cold water. He has lost so much blood he doesn't really care. It ended up being the teeniest tiniest little tear, on the part that holds the foreskin to the rest of it, but because he was hard AND drunk when it happened, there was an enormous amount of blood. Then the cop showed up and had a good look as well.

When we got home, he told the story to all of our friends, usually starting out with "Kayte broke my dick when we were in windsor"

So there that is.
kickitkickitkickit
QUOTE(GoGoMassacre @ Jan 20 2007, 03:03 PM) *

I don't know if this story is funny to most, but I find it to be, considering I'm becoming more and more of a manhater. hah

Well, my boyfriend was feeling frisky one day. Myself....not so much. But he was all about doing the deed and so I went along with it. I wasn't against doing it, just not in the mood. And at the time, my boyfriend had gotten into this horrible swing of skipping foreplay all together. So what's he do? Just sticks it in and goes to town without preheating the oven, if ya know what I mean. Well he pulled out to switch up the position and notices blood on his dick. Confused wether or not it was him or me, he asked if I was due for my period. I was not. The blood was coming from his dick. I was tight and ended up tearing the frenulum on his penis. He was in a panic as more and more and more blood was coming out. He jumped in the shower while I was cleaning up some of the blood and he passed out and fell out of the shower!! We didn't have sex for 2 weeks out of fear and then when we did we used condoms again for like a month.
The situation helped me alot though. heh He learned from the incident. Now he doesn't just get in the elevator...he goes down.


The very same thing happened to me! I had stretched out in our bed expecting him to get into some foreplay especially since I had just went down on him. Nope, homeboy gets on top and starts having sex with me. He ended up with a tiny tear and some bleeding. Afterwards we talked about it and the importance of foreplay. It can seriously make or break a good session. Lube really doesn't cut it when I'm not turned on. rolleyes.gif
undine
hahahaha ::dies:: These stories comfort me during my totally undeserved and frankly, quite cruel, sex drought
The only story I can think of is an old one, the time my bf and I were between leases for a few days and staying at my mom's in my tiny childhood room...My cat was sick and was crammed into the room with us. My bed was really noisy and had a lovely spring spiking through the mattress, and the house was full with relatives, so I decided we would fuck on the floor. I was on my period (i.e., over-the-top horny) and wanted to try out the new female condom which was the only birth control left in my bedside drawer. So here we are, fucking like mad beasts on the floor of my not-updated-the-early-70's childhood room: furniture painted pink and green and bright yellow, shag, plastic inflatable pillows, outdated rock posters on the walls the whole bit, very surreal, he has his hand over my mouth to stifle my noise, I actively have my period and blood is squirting out with every thrust, there is an *extremely* unattractive piece of plastic hanging out of me, I am trying to roll him onto his back and inadvertently crashing his head into the wall, his foot is in the cat dish full of wet cat food...suddenly he starts thrashing about madly. At first I assumed it was lust for me but then saw an indescribable look on BF's face...for no reason at all (and I looked deeply into his yellow eyes afterwards and asked him, quite seriously, but he refused to answer), my cat had decided to stick his wet cold little nose into my bf's asshole to smell it, then he eventually set to work licking his balls and ass. I mean he could NOT be deterred. BF had already started to get near the cumming point, and, both hands being busy with me, and my legs locked firmly around him, couldn't shoo the cat away and was dragged down into orgasm by a girl and a cat, squirming and protesting all the while. Later he shamefacedly admitted that he 'sort of liked it after awhile'. hehe.
tesao
undine, that was frelling hysterical!! i think that may just be the best story i have ever heard. waaaaaaaaaaaay too good to keep to yourself! muito thank you for sharing!
GoGoMassacre
QUOTE(go_kayte @ Jan 20 2007, 12:37 PM) *



When we got home, he told the story to all of our friends, usually starting out with "Kayte broke my dick when we were in windsor"





hah Thats how my boyfriend refers to it when he talks about it too. Saying I broke his dick. haha
maimy
Oh, Undine - that is PRICELESS. Thank you so much ...
candycane_girl
go_kayte, that is a hilarious story. We do actually use 911 here but its only problematic when someone is on a cell phone because sometimes it can be picked up by an American network instead of a Canadian one.
dayglowpink
So last night I was hanging out with a bunch of friends playing poker, and one of my best girlfriends got drunk on tequila. Towards the end of the evening she started getting a little frisky with me, scratching my back under my shirt with her fingernails, hugging on me, etc. Nothing like this has ever happened between us, so I didn't really know what was going on. Next thing I know, I went upstairs to go to bed, and she followed me up there and attacked me on the bed, and we made out like bandits. It was pretty fucking awesome, if I do say so myself! We had to cut things short, though, because her ride was waiting on her downstairs. I can't stop thinking about it and smiling all day.
muskie
dayglow --hot!

I broke my ONE New year's resolution. Don't have sex with my drug dealers.
LoveMyPugs
dayglowpink -

That sounds so hot. We have this new chick hanging around with my crew of friends. She is a "big" girl like me. She has this great laugh and these incredible blue eyes. Beautiful hair and her septum pierced. She is really hot IMO. On New Years we kissed for a friend’s camera. No tongue but her lips tasted so sweet. I'd love to kiss her for real. I don't remember how old she is but she seems very young emotionally to me when we talk. I really like her. Nothing serious of course because I'm with Mr. Pug and all but I could see us getting drunk and kissing again. Of course it wouldn't be my fault because I'd be "drunk" right? I'm not plotting or anything. Really I'm not! LOL Mr. Pug wouldn't care anyway because he gets off on seeing me kiss another chick. You're lucky and I'm jealous.
dayglowpink
Thanks! The next day when we talked about it, she was like "I can't believe that happened, it'll never happen again", etc. It was totally cool, she wasn't being negative about it, just surprised with herself. I'm secretly plotting to get her tequila'd up again sometime, though! wink.gif Now I am dying to fuck another girl for real and to have a threesome with my FWB and a girl. I'm pretty selective, though, and I haven't had much luck with trying to pick anyone up. I have a few totally inappropriate girl crushes right now, because they are undergrad students in the class I am a TA for. Obviously nothing would ever happen, but it's fun to fantasize about it!
starshine
QUOTE(dayglowpink @ Feb 15 2007, 04:37 PM) *

Now I am dying to fuck another girl for real and to have a threesome with my FWB and a girl. I'm pretty selective, though, and I haven't had much luck with trying to pick anyone up. I have a few totally inappropriate girl crushes right now, because they are undergrad students in the class I am a TA for. Obviously nothing would ever happen, but it's fun to fantasize about it!



In the fall I slept with a student who I had TA'd. We waited about a year after the last class of mine he was in adn all I have to say is, if you have the chance to take advantage now, don't wait!!! It was so incredibly anti climactic I can't even believe it was that bad. There was no naughtiness whatsoever. Oh, and of course be sure to be very, very discreet.

good luck!!!
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