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bustygirl
He's been sleeping great since I posted that. Almost every night, he's been sleeping 6-8 hours at a stretch.

He does seem to have a tooth coming in on the upper left, so I'm thinking that has to be the problem.

It's funny, but one night of no sleep can really do you for.
bustygirl
damona, I have my fingers crossed for you.
damona
well busty, regardless of your crossed fingers... every has had it. all week long, one after the other. this morning, i actually just threw out the pj's the baby was wearing. i didn't even want to think about trying to get them clean... yuck yuck and yuck. the best one though, my 4 yr old barfed in his bed the other morning but didn't tell anyone. so when the mr went to put him to bed.... eeeeeewwww.....

is it just my kids that are this creative??
farmgirl
(((((damona))))) I hope you get past it soon. I feel for you! We're finally over it here--the barfing started at the beginning of Spring Break, & only ended this past week. My family was visiting, & they had the pleasure of barfing & being barfed on, as well....

"is it just my kids that are this creative??" **laughing** I'm sure the tots can give them a run for their money! We just this morning discovered that tot3 has been stockpiling peed-in Pull Ups at the bottom of her bed, the back of the closet, & behind her dresser. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what was causing the smell emanating from their room! Not to be outdone, tot2 has been saving wads of chewed gum all along the railing of her bed. She sleeps on the top bunk, and I'm not up there very often, so I only just noticed what has, apparently, been a habit for awhile. I don't even give them gum, so I don't know where it came from! Nothing special from tot1--today. :-)
sesame
Bustygirl, I'm glad to hear the sleep situation has been better, and you know what's funny? My little guy has also been sleeping great the last couple of nights! Must be all that fresh spring air. Either that, or there's some kind of Jekyll & Hyde sleeping/barfing fairy running amok - some of us are getting lucky and some not so. Damona & Farmgirl, I hope you and your families are feeling better soon!
tart
Hey, Mamas, I get to come & play with you now - Tartlet was born Easter Sunday! So far, it's been an exhausting but really good week... Tartlet is pretty even tempered thus far, and only seems to cry when something's actually wrong. We've had to get used to an erratic feeding cycle, though - sometimes 2 hours, sometimes 5, depends on his mood, it seems. We're using gas drops a few times a day to help with what seem to be a lot of uncomfortable bubbles - not a magic bullet, but certainly an improvement.

Count me in on the good sleeping all of a sudden - Tartlet let us sleep in til 7 today, with feedings at only 10:30 & 2:30 in the night. Even now, he's sacked out... I'm gonna pay for this tonight, right? We're finding the hardest part of sleeping is to know when to intervene and when he's just fussing and will self-soothe - he's been in his crib since day 1, and doesn't seem fased except when he's extra tired & cranky.

Speaking of tired, who needs a nap? I'm gonna hit the couch for a bit until my boobs are needed. (((hugs to all the sicky kids)))
bustygirl
(((((((((((tart))))))))))))

YAY! Welcome to the club!

How big, how long, what head circumference? AM or PM baby?
damona
ha farmgirl!! i love it... my little z likes to stash his pull-ups for a few days and let them "ripen" as well. gross, no? i can't wait until he is fully potty trained... he's almost 5 for heavens sake! i know i know, he's got some issues, but STILL...

yay tart and tartlette! congrats mama! gas drops are a blessing sent by the gods.... if you are nursing and he's having lots of gassiness, be careful what you are eating. you prolly know this stuff already, but things that make you fart will make the baby fart. even stuff like milk or ice cream and too much citrus juice or high-fiber foods. while they are very good for you, they may make baby veeeerrrryy unhappy. when i was nursing #4 i could not eat anything with tomatoes or orange juice. made the poor baby miserable.
noof
Congrats Tart!

When I was nursing I could not eat broccoli.

Have any of you mamas experience toddler rejection? Mr. Noof is a stay-at-home dad. I work all day, then when I come home I have to cook supper and clean up. Noofling only wants to be with her daddy most of the time, and rejects me. Obviously this is nothing personal, but it really hurts me. Last night she woke up crying and completely refused to let me hold her; I ended up in tears. Any suggestions?
tart
Thanks for the warm welcome! He was 8#, 7 oz, 21 inches long and I can't remember his head size to save my life... big enough, let's just say. He was born at 3:37 am Easter Sunday, totally unmedicated save for a fluid IV for me.

He's up early today, but still went with just the 10 & 2 feedings last night, so I'm not complaining... I WILL, however, get another nap this morning - I counted on a good quiet afternoon yesterday, but he was antsypants from lunchtime on.

Thanks for the gas tips Damona - I've dropped the caffeine again, and am steering clear of broccoli/cauliflower/onions for a week or so to see if that helps. I figure I'll just keep dropping stuff week by week until we find the culprit. Maybe goat's milk instead of cow's for a while...

It's cold & blustery today, so I think a cozy day in is in order. Grandparents Phase II arrive tonight, so all the more reason to keep it low key...
car
tart, good advice re: the gas...

I will say with Coop, I ended up having to cut out all dairy products, most caffeine (I still ate some chocolate, I admit), all cruceferious veggies (onion, brocolli, cauliflower), all raw veggies, AND all citrus fruit (including tomato). It was really really hard! But, Coop's tummy was really sensitive, so I didn't have much of a choice. Just keep dropping things one at a time to see if you can find the pattern. For us it was obvious, I would have the smallest bit of something (like tomato) and the gas would be insane.
damona
awwww (((((noof))))) it's hard when your kiddo wants the other parent. we've gone through this with all the kids. they pick one parent for a couple months, and then all of a sudden, they don't want anything to do with that one, just the other! in fact, just this morning, the mr picked up baby w, changed his diaper, then passed him to me and started to walk out of the room. you woulda thought somebody was killing the poor little thing! he started screaming like i was torturing him! he only stopped when daddy came back and picked him up. i was like, "fine, be that way. <pout>" lol. it's hard not to take it personally, i know, but it's just a stage. noofling will shift her preferences sooner or later. until then, i guess all i can say is, just try to take it in stride. ((((((noof))))))
pervenche
congratulations, tart! enjoy this time...
my boy is 8.5 months now and thinks that knocking things down is the funniest thing in the universe. i like to think of it as elementary physics, but our house has become a disaster zone.

noof, i experienced that with a child i babysat (he was two and rejected his parents, preferring me - i was there five+hours a day). it helped for us to all do things together, so he could see that they were fun too, and also for him to have "daddy time" and "mommy time." another family i knew had a "daddy day" (the dad was able to stay home thursday and spend it with his daughter), which helped somewhat. some toddlers get very stuck on what they know - they need to be shown that you are fun/loving/safe too. i'm sorry, though - it sucks to be on the rejectee end of that.
farmgirl
(((((noof))))) We've gone through that around here, as well. It does seem to run in cycles, and it can suck (although, last night, when tot3 was puking for the 5th time, I'll admit I was kinda glad she wanted the Mr. & not me.....)(different situation, I know). Anyway, I was going to suggest something like what pervenche suggested--maybe you could send Mr. Noof out for a day a week or something?

tart, Welcome! I'm glad you're doing well. I couldn't have even the slightest amount of dairy with tot3--even half a slice of cheese would keep her up half the night.

So, mamas, I'm going on a Bust hiatus for awhile. I have a couple of Big Meaningful Projects (said in big scary announcer voice) this term, & I really need to get my head around them & focus. Not that I've been busting much lately anyway...
damona
((((((farmgirl))))) we'll miss you!

pervenche, isn't it fun when they discover how to make a big mess?

my 3 yr old, little d, has got a great arm. that kid is gonna be a big-league pitcher, i swear. unfortunately, he's practicing by aiming for the cats. my poor kitties will sit at the edge of the living room, if he's in his highchair, and watch for a minute, then gallop through the room and not stop til they get to the stairs! it's too funny, although i keep trying to get the point across that "we must be nice to kitty". it's not really getting me anywhere though!

my 7 yr old, dai, is the world's biggest smart-ass lately, and it's really wearing on my nerves. he's just got to have the last word in any given situation, even if i'm about to lose it. and he's picked up this snotty little sing-song tone when he answers us... grr...

he's got an exhibition game tonight. his soccer team was picked to play for the half-time show at the high school. i don't know if he'll freeze and refuse to go out there or if he'll go ham it up. there really is no middle ground with this kid!
pervenche
good luck with your projects, farmgirl.

damona: yeah, it's hilarious. the other day he managed to convey all his finger food to the floor. (pick up, rotate arm over floor, drop). it reminded me of the automatic dog feeder in "back to the future..." and was almost as disgusting.

i seem to recall going through a snotty period from 7-11 or so. interestingly, adolescence made it better. but for your sake, damona, i hope dai follows a different pattern.

and speaking of gassy...i think tofu makes my boy painfully flatulent. is that weird? it seems kind of odd to me...
noof
*waves sad bye-bye to Farmgirl*

Just wanted to give an update: I've stuck Mr. Noof with supper/clean-up detail the past two nights and spent some time with the kidlet ... it seems to be working! :-)
pervenche
good for you, noof. it sounded like having dinner detail after working all day was getting to you, anyhow, so this is a well-earned change.
moxiegirl
How long did you hip mamas wait for the post-baby lovin? its been 1 month, i'm starting the 2nd piull pack tomorrow, not bleeding...but its before my "official" 6 week appt...this is killing me. Bustie antedoctal advice would be mucho appreciated...
pervenche
mox, our situations are so different i don't know how they would compare (physically). but if i were you i'd talk to your doc and pin him/her down on if there's any reason sex would be a danger. usually they say wait until the lochia stops, and if yours is stopped...
moxiegirl
well, its the same basic thing- the c-section "wound" has healed enough, in my opinion. I can walk a couple miles w/o being sore...but, i just noticved on the pill pack that it specifically says "if you're switching from a low-dose, progesterone only pill to this, wait 7 days..." so, we wait. Anxiously.
pervenche
i know, it's torture! personally, i like the warn-your-physician approach because it forces them to admit that there's really no reason why you can't (unless there is, which i can't imagine). but i know the waiting is agony. in a week you'll be five weeks out, and that seems like plenty of time to me.
how's little moxette, anyhow?

we had sex after 2.5 weeks, which i don't actually recommend. although it seemed like a really long time to us then, my body wasn't really ready and told me so afterwards. but a month was probably ok. the funny thing is, when i look back at that time i think "sex? who cares about sex?" - whatever hormones were surging then have definitely died down now as the month-in, month-out of parenting has put me in a totally different groove. not that that will matter to you right now...
noof
Heh, I finally had sex four months post-partum ... :-)
car
we were more similar with Noof....I had *zero* interest, even then, but I think that is when we started up again. Very very infrequently, I may add.
moxiegirl
car- how's the final couple weeks? The waiting is the worst! I think part of my serious jonseing for the HBI is to complete this new intimacy we've developed parenting little moxette. It seems like a gaping hole, as much as a pohysical drive. Like, last night, kind of had an emotional blowout, and I couldn't "go" to him afterwards. that, and I had a very, very strong sex drive prior to pregnancy, and its resurged with something of a vengance. I don't doubt that quantity will be less, but I'm banking on quality.

5 weeks is tomorrow- my "6 week" appt is actually at 7 weeks, cause it was based on the hosp. discharge, not delivery. I'm gonna call them, talk to the nurse practitioner, and see at least about moving my appt up.

As always, thanks for the advice.
tallgirl
Hey mamas! I'm looking at moving in about three weeks, and I'm wondering if any of you have any advice about moving with a toddler. Our plan is to try to do a lot of the packing and stuff after he's asleep in the evenings so as not to disturb his daily routine too much, and then Radar and I are both taking off work the two days immediately prior to the move so we can do a huge packing push while he's in daycare. We're planning to let him put some of his toys in boxes himself so that he feels involved in the process, and we've purchased a new toy (a stuffed Elmo, his favorite character) to greet him at the new place. And we have planned sleeping arrangements such that he'll hopefully be able to find us the first few nights at the new house without freaking out too much. Does anyone have any other suggestions? I know it probably won't be as big a deal to him as if he were a little older - I've been told my parents moved when I was about this age and I have no memory of it whatsoever - but I also want to avoid potential 21-month-old meltdowns as much as possible. Thoughts?
(((((Hip Mamas!!)))))
pervenche
tallgirl, it sounds like you're doing a great job. the only thing i can think of is that it would be helpful to take him to the new house a bunch of times and to refer to them as "old house" and "new house." also helpful to show him "new bedroom," "new kitchen" etc. if he knows that you all are going to "new house" one day soon, it won't be scary...
i am moving soon and am doing the same thing with my 9-month-old - even though he's very young he definitely reacts to the new environment, and i'm hopeful that familiarising him with it will make the transition easier.
margot
Hi Tallgirl.
We moved with a toddler and it was fine! We did sort her room out as soon as we got there though, so she had her lamp, posters, rug and toys all ready for her. I think that bit of familiarity helped. She was also soooo chuffed to move from a flat to a much bigger house. -Loads more room to race around in!
Also, my parents were there, overseeing the removal men, so she got a fair bit of attention, and it was quite a fun day for her.
She was definitely put out by the packing up though. I think she was affected by all the empty space in the property we were leaving.
And then, we did it again, 2 months later!
Good luck.
bklynhermit
*non-mama delurking*

one of my first memories is of moving houses as a toddler. I totally echo the advice of both margot and pervenche - they remind me a lot of those early memories of the big move.

one thing i really remember, was lots of 'big girl' stuff thrown in when (as pervenche advised) my parents took me to visit our new house and neighborhood before we moved in -- this is your new big girl room, and you're going to have a new big girl bed, this is your new big girl potty (i was really big into the potty then), etc. actually i think it helped to be moving at what was a transitional time for me -- i remember this very significant break from 'baby' stuff of the old house (crib, potty training, daycare, etc.) to 'big girl' stuff at the new house (having my own room, regular bed, not using the potty chair anymore, going to nursery school).
tart
Hey mamas! Hang in there, Mox - you'll get your HBI any day now, I just know it... Make it a good one, as I'm still a mess o' stitches down below, and can't imagine having the stamina to stay awake while horizontal any time soon.

So I think we may have found the issue with Tartlet's fussing - GERD. He shows a lot of the classic symptoms, just minus the projectile spewing. Lots of neck arching and post-dinner crankiness, a distinct preference for being upright, lots of wet burping followed by wheezing & wailing... I'm still tracking his symptoms, but we're talking about it for sure at next week's ped appointment.

So in an effort to at least keep the little man happier and a bit more comfortable, we've been pulling out some attachment-parenting tricks like napping on our chests and lots of cuddle/carry time. I have to say that it feels nice, but I'm concerned about setting up a pattern where he won't sleep or relax any other way - our downstairs neighbor had that problem with her daughter, and even now at age 6 she's still having separation issues. Anyone got any thoughts, either way? I'm all for quality baby time, but I also want to make sure Tartlet gets a strong self-soothing pattern established before I go back to work in July... and I'd really like to sleep in my own bed with my husband, not on the couch, thank you...
pervenche
good luck, tart...as his valve matures, hopefully you'll see less reflux. as far as attachment parenting goes, i don't have a lot of perspective on the immediate effects, but i'm in the unique position of knowing a whole bunch of folks in their mid-twenties (my husband and his family friends) who were raised attachment-parenting style, so i have a LOT of theories about its long term effects. one thing to keep in mind is that at this young age tartlet is quite flexible; he'll not necessarily expect to be carried about forever (i carried my son in a front carrier quite a bit when he was 0-3 months and rarely do it now at 9 mos), especially if you're sure to build in a little time when he's sitting or lying about on his own amusing himself (my friend complained that her one year old daughter had to be amused every second, but she spent the whole first year amusing her every second, so...).
in terms of the long-term effects of attachment parenting, i've seen it produce healthy, secure kids who are close to their parents (if, IMHO, tending to be less autonomous/responsible/mature than the non-attachment parented young adults i know) and i've seen it produce kids who pushed their parents away/resented their parents' encroaching closeness. it doesn't sound like you'd ever be the latter type, but i think if you want your own bed back, by all means don't train the boy to expect you with him EVERY second.

however: i also have to say that the biggest thing i've learnt in the last nine months is DON'T MAKE THE MISTAKE OF THINKING THE WAY THINGS ARE NOW IS SOMETHING YOU HAVE TO DIAGNOSE/DEAL WITH/ADJUST TO/RESOLVE. many, if not most things, adjust and resolve themselves, especially in the first six months, and you'll be a happier parent if you don't spend too much time trying to analyse everything. go easy on yourself and the boy and try not to worry too much about behavioural issues...those are a much bigger deal later on, as i'm discovering (with my nine month old who refuses to let me put him down/leave the room when he's feeling crotchety and who chomps on any available part of me - arms, shoulder, etc.).

our situation: when our son was 0-1 month we slept with him in the bed, and sometimes he slept/napped in his bouncy chair. at one month we realised he didn't care if we were there or not and grabbed the opportunity to move him into his crib. he had crying spells, especially in the late afternoon, pretty severely from about 2 weeks to 2 months, when they tapered off. during that period he was a bit reflux-y and i would succumb to letting him sleep in the bouncy chair sometimes. he now sleeps in his crib every night and is fine with it.

was it farmgirl or damona who said "whatever gets the most amount of people the most sleep"? good words to keep in mind.

anyway, sorry about the fussiness - it will go away. just keep telling yourself that. if you need to carry him around for a month or so until it calms down, i doubt that will ruin his behaviour. and you do have some time to sort it out, so i'd just do whatever makes him less fussy for now.
just my $.02...
chani
Pervenche's babe is about the same age as Chanibaby and I echo her 100%. I think attachment parenting is great, as long as you adapt to your older baby's growing independence by giving him more independence! Things like letting him fall asleep on his own and letting him play on his own are important skills to learn - for his development and your sanity! With a wee baby, development/sanity is often best achieved by doing what is easiest for both of you - whether that's co-sleeping or letting him fall asleep in the swing. ((tart))
pervenche
which reminds me...chani and others, have you tried playpens? i want to try out a playpen since i sometimes HAVE to get something done right that second and the boy is increasingly prone to fall down the stairs/eat cleanser/etc. if i don't watch him, but he protests loudly when i try to put him in. in fact, lately he's getting pretty despotic about being carried by me (not his dad or anyone else!). in my babysitting days i always used distraction techniques to get a child settled when it wanted a parent, but it's different now that i'm the object of demand...
noof
This will probably put me in the Bad Mommy Club, but I swear by educational videos for getting stuff done (relatively) guilt-free. Noofling loves her Baby Einstein videos and she has learned a lot from them. She doesn't "space out" in front of them but they do help her play on her own a bit while I'm getting stuff done.

The playpen was a bust; we use it for time-outs now :-)

As for attachment parenting, I say beware. it worked great when Noofling was an infant, but we had a lot of trouble getting her to the crib. Just remember: you deserve to sleep alone. That doesn't mean you must, it doesn't even mean you should; it just means you deserve to, if you choose to do so.
moxiegirl
tart- we had moxette in her crib, in her room, at about 3 weeks. We're just now, at 5-6 weeks, starting a real bedtime routine. She sleeps all night and morning naps just fine in the crib, but afternoon naps MUST be on mama or daddy's chest. No ifs, ands or buts about it. I figure, eventually, I go back to work, she goes to daycare, and our whole routine will shift anyway. For now, I've decided to enjoy the cuddle time with my baby, and let her sleep in her crib at night. Maybe you could try something similar? The 2nd greatest night since we brought her home was the first night we both slept, all night (minus feedings, duh!) in our bed, together. Good luck!
tart
Thanks for the feedback, everyone - our day of ample carry time has worked out pretty well so far, minimising the general fussiness and actually getting him some daytime sleep. He did have some alone time in the crib this afternoon, which I think is important, as Noof mentioned. Pervenche, your boy's pattern sounds a lot like ours - hopefully we'll get some relief around 2 months, as well. And your advice about not analysing every little thing is very appropriate - guilty as charged :-)

ETA: Moxie! Lucky you, getting so much crib time already... all in good time, I keep telling myself. Unfortunately, we are SO not in any kind of schedule yet, but once we are, I like your afternoon cuddle nap idea...

You mamas rock - thanks again!
pervenche
ha, noof - i'm one step ahead of you. we did get a baby einstein from the library just to see. but the boy is not that into it. the first time he watched it for maybe 10 sec., long enough to approach the screen, touch it, and leave. the next time (today) he watched for about five minutes, so maybe it's growing on him - but he is not in "love" with TV the way i thought he might be...he's probably just too young.
sunday
At one point in my daughter's life she loved Baby Einstein tapes...I mean addicted to them like crack! But now she is more into Disney movies.
pervenche
the kids i nannied went through a mad disney period. but i have to say that i'm extremely dubious about the values/expectations they instill in our kids, particularly with regards to gender and race roles. my in-laws just sent us a whole pile of my husband's videos from his childhood (little mermaid, pocahontas, mulan, etc.) and i don't know that i want my child to watch them. in fact, i'm pretty sure i don't. the jive-talkin' crab in little mermaid strikes me as one step away from al jolson, and the exotic-woman-in-love-with-big-strong-white-man who comes and spreads disease among her people in pocahontas gives me the heebie-jeebies. not to mention the message that "women must dress as men to have power but will then inevitably fall in love with men and subordinate themselves to them" in mulan. there ARE disney movies i like - alice in wonderland, for example - but a lot of them are just scary. as is a lot of the stuff TOH watched as a child, like the really egregiously racist pink panther (HELLO! do i want my part-asian child watching a movie in which the houseboy is referred to as "my little yellow friend?" not hardly! and i wondered why my parents never let me watch it), i wonder if there is anything else out there...
chani
Pervenche: Fraid I can't help. Chanibaby's not crawling yet, so we haven't pulled out the playpen. I just surround him with toys and let him roll around and entertain himself.
sunday
I think that certain Disney movies are not that bad. Like (pervenche mentioned) Alice in Wonderland, and I don't see anything wrong with Aladdin.
tyger
pervenche, i agree that some disney movies are just horrible, but all my friends went through disney phases as children (all the girls i know and half the boys can sing along with almost any given disney movie. all the way through. and we're 18/19/20) what about the great mouse detective? and both the rescuers movies, maybe. the fox and the hound. i never actually watched pochahontas, but that's about the only one. i mean, they're not like high art or anything, but every form of entertainment for children has gone way downhill since i was a kid, and i guess i figure i'd rather any hypothetical kid of mine watch disneyfied fairy tales than anime.
pervenche
chani, watch out...the fun is just beginning. this morning my son proudly crawled over to the living room door, rooted around, and displayed two petrified jade plant leaves IN HIS MOUTH...i had moved the plant, but i guess i missed them. the other day we were at our new house measuring and he somehow found a nail and managed to convey it to his mouth before i grabbed it.

tyger, i never saw the great mouse detective or the rescuers movies. maybe i should check them out. i think i mainly dislike the way disney portrays 1)gender, in its stories that are primarily romantic and 2)race, so if all the characters asexual mice or something it should be ok. :-)
and sunday, i don't remember the story line of aladdin that well, except that i never understood why they invented the jasmine character at all. she's not IN aladdin and the lamp. i DO remember that one song: "a whole new world..."
and i'll probably be remembering it all day.
moxiegirl
perv-jasmine is there because all disney epics need a princess, being brown skinned myself, i dig jasmine. made for an easy-ass halloween costume in high school. Seriously, though- I didn't have much issue with later-day disney- the Little Mermaid-and later models. Yeah, there is fru-fru lovey stuff, but the princesses weren't all just prim proper "rescue me" types.

I got schooled today by a god-damed fisher price play-mat-gym thingy. Grrrr. I am now entertaining moxette while I make dinner and bust! So, take that! Fisher Price thingy!
pervenche
die! fisher price thingy! die!

score one for alternative notions of beauty, mox, but why is it ALADDIN showing JASMINE the whole new world? and why do we need a princess? until we have feminist multiracial lesbian disney, with a chubby black/latina/south asian/pacific islander (those slashes mean "and" not "or") nerd heroine, i'm not down. plus, i still think the crab in "little mermaid" is blaxploitation to the max.

...although one of the issues this topic raises for me is that our kids are growing up in such a better integrated world than we did (though there's still a long way to go) that they are less sensitive to these issues than we are...
pervenche
p.s. mox, you are the only one i'll let call me "perv."
moxiegirl
well, i guess i always thought the "whole new world" was the falling in love bit- and, it IS a duet... I'm a harsh "old disney" critic, but I just can't get beyond how the fun the newer movies are. As long as Sesame Street and Dora are in the picture, why not enjoy a little cartoony fantasy? Really, its my job to make sure moxette knows reality from fiction, so why not enjoy the fiction?
pervenche
it's a duet, but aladdin starts it with "i can show you the world,...i can open your eyes," and then jasmine agrees with him on the chorus - he's definitely the agent.

i confess to being a lit wonk; that's my job - to think about the subtle but important ways literature and media affect our culture and its attitudes. and i think one of the reasons this is so interesting to me is that i had a somewhat unusual growing up experience of being biracial and bicultural in a VERY homogeneous environment, and my parents didn't know how to talk about it, which made me and my siblings *ashamed* of our heritage. and that's all for another thread, except that it's really important to me that my son not grow up 1)seeing only one racial model 2)having his family questioned because mom and dad do not 'match' 3)being asked if he's adopted (which is already happening) 4)assuming that women are weak/useless/subordinate/passive/disempowered, or 5)feeling trapped in any category (race, gender, sexual orientation, etc).

i'm not trying to convince anyone to boycott disney with me (if indeed i even do that, which i doubt), but i don't think there's anything wrong with being conscious of what books and movies teach our kids. too much princess stuff and why would you be surprised to hear your daughter being told, "that's not for girls" when she tries to play a boy-dominated game? worse, why would you be surprised to hear her accept it?

obviously, there's room for balance in all things, and nobody has to have a squeaky-clean, sanitized, ultra-PC upbringing. but i want to be able to talk to my child about the ideas he gets from media, so that if he says "that's not boy/girl stuff," i can say, "what makes you say so? what do you really think?"

but please, don't hear this as me raining on your disney parade...i who am constantly singing 'adapted' lyrics from "mary poppins" in the musical that is our house. :-)
damona
i like the newer disney movies, the only disney cartoon movie i really can't stand is pinnochio.

sorry to change the subject but... how do you go about getting a kid off a food jag? my 4 yr old (holy crap, he'll be 5 in a few weeks! yikes!) is on this kick where he will only eat cold cereal. breakfast lunch dinner and snacks. i told him he has to have a different kind of cereal each time (cheerios, rice krispies, shredded wheat, etc and they aren't heavily sugared ones) and that he has to have some kind of fruit with it (blueberries, blackberries, raspberries, strawberries or bananas), which he's going along with, but how long should i let this go on?? my oldest never did stuff like this, he was never a very picky eater!
tart
Damona, I think every kid goes through this... See if you can find a children's book called Bread & Jam for Frances - a little badger girl wants nothing but bread & jam, so that's what she gets for every meal, even when the rest of the family is having tasty pork chops or some such. Eventually she decides that she's missing out on too much and relenquishes her bread & jam diet.

Meanwhile, your boy could be doing a lot worse than cold cereal, so I don't know that I'd sweat it too hard. But then, I have a 3.5 week-old, so we haven't actually dealt with the picky eating yet.

And weighing in on the Disney discussion, I think a lot of them are pure dreck, but some (Fantasia, for instance) are absolute classics. I think my line is drawn at the cartoon romances...

And for the record, the little man slept like a rock last night, and so did I - each in our own beds! And only 2 night feedings! This can't possibly last, but I'm enjoying the hell out of it for the moment...
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