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pepper
little was a terrible, Terrible sleeper (argh!) and the wee girl is awesome. a really fantastic baby. though she is random with nap time and bed time but i can let her set her own rhythm at this time and she does sleep and sleep well. i feel very lucky with this baby.

all the candy is gone, the 'great pumpkin' has been and gone and left an awesome webkinz bat in it's place which i am certain will get dragged around wherever we go all weekend long, heh. little man is super excited to see what he got in exchange for his candy this year. he's so cute.
i wanted to let him keep some stuff (ok, and maybe eat some myself) but after reading the ingredients i tossed it all but the rockets. the shit they put into kids candy is unbelievable. so much hydrogenated oil, wow! i can't get over it. it's crazy.
pinkmartyr
emmet will be a month old on sunday, and he just decided that he hates shopping. i take him to places like target to give us a chance to get out of the house. when i take him out, i've just fed him, and he's got a clean diaper. he sleeps in the car, but when i put his carrier in the cart, he gets very agitated. a few weeks ago, i could put him in the cart and he'd sleep as long as i was moving. i tried taking him out twice this week, and he all-out screamed. he wasn't hungry/dirty, just totally mad for whatever reason. today i picked him up and carried him around the store while pushing the cart, which was a little cumbersome.

i know i have to give up certain things now that i have a baby, but browsing at target can't be one of them! i'm usually only at the store about a half hour. i've been putting his carseat in the cart basket.

any suggestions?
moxiegirl
1. Sling
2. stroller
3. He'll deal.
pepper
pretty much. little only liked the front carrier (baby bjorn) and only a little bit at that. i had to give him a soother and carry him everywhere, it sucked! no body wanted me around for a very long time. so much screaming. ugh.
karcher
hi i haven't been on this thread for a while now

i second with pepper that sleeping with your child is ter-rif-fic - for me it's the most beautiful and natural feeling, why did no one tell me about this before and why do so many people think so disgustingly of it? miss k has slept in our bed since day one (17 months now), and because i 'failed' to leave her crying in bed in the early weeks, we grew accustomed to sleeping together as a family. i love the feeling of having four arms reaching out for me when i go to bed, i feel so wanted (ok on some nights it may be too much). we have, also, had many nights of constant waking that drove me to insanity.

other news is that i think i've approached the end of the pnd period, which i didn't like to be labelled with anyway, but i think we're on the up. just by working out why things were so hard (new baby, moving to the country: isolation, moving countries [sort of, or returning to after a gap] and therefore lack of immediate social connections, lack of family support, moving house, baby got mobile when we weren't ready, and cultural differences in child-rearing philosophies - that's prob enough to send anyone depressed) made it clearer for my head to identify problems earlier, and so more likely to meet the challenge. also getting more used to it all. not sure if it's good or bad. in any case, am doing it for my daughter. got no choice.

other other news is that after a long drought with hubby (we're talking months here, k is still bf-ing), we have been a bit more active in the department of intimacy in the last week or so... and there IS actually enjoyment, so there is hope for #2 yet!

pink: i carried k until she was 9 months (gave up coz my back couldn't stand it anymore) - she just didn't want to be separated from me, and i couldn't stand her crying. baby björn for about three months, then sling until 9. i put her in a shopping cart seat too when we go to the supermarket or target, she would get fiddly pretty soon. sometimes you just can't do too much about it apart from reassuring him that you're there. sometimes you need to do something for yourself, and as long as he's pretty well-looked after you shouldn't feel guilty for doing something for yourself. do they have one of those shopping carts with baby seats at the top, if you put a towel down for him to 'sit' on too? do you talk to him while you're shopping?
beck
phew karcher, sounds like you've had a lot going on.

i'm v happy as my long dry spell is over too (6 months! due to pregnancy complications and then obviously being a bit sore after the birth). it felt really good to connect as a couple as well as parents, if that makes sense.
nakedmolerat
Hey pink, i just had that experience with matthew! We went to baby's r us and he was pissed! I had fed him also before we went, he was sleeping in the car, and then he woke up in the store suddenly crying like he was in pain! He eventually settled down as we kept moving, but now i'm nervous to take him out again!

As for sleeping together, I enjoy it also, especially because it's so much easier when nursing since my baby likes to nurse so often. The problem is that he will NOT sleep unless something is in his mouth, preferably my tit! The minute I pull it out, unless he's in a deep sleep, he wakes up rooting around screaming. The same with pacifiers. I tried taking them out before he fell asleep and other ways to sooth him and to get him to fall asleep but it's been a huge struggle. Right now I don't mind if he needs my nipple in his mouth while he sleeps because we're laying next to each other anyway and what else do i need to be doing? It's not an inconvenience now. I'm just worried that he won't grow out of it and then what am I going to do?

A quick question? Any thoughts on LAM? Lactational Amenhhorea Method (spelling?) I meet all of the criteria for it, but does anyone have any input on how effective it is? Is it worth relying on for the first couple months or is it too much of a risk? I'm going to get an IUD in a few weeks, is it a bad idea to rely on LAM until then?
beck
i was going to trust to LAM, then i had bleeding at 7 weeks postpartum. who knows if it was period or leftover post-birth bleeding, but not taking any chances now. that said, it is said to be 98% effective, which i believe is similar to IUD success rate.


pinkmartyr
I sure hope there is something to LAM because we had unprotected sex today! It was kind of breaking the rules- I'm only 5 weeks postpartum, we're supposed to wait 6 weeks. Since I didn't have a vaginal birth (therefore no trauma to that area) and felt up to it, I thought it would be ok to do it early. Everything was fine. I head back to the doctor on the 21st and am going to ask for birth control pills if she can reassure me that it won't affect my milk supply.

I am going to start keeping the Moby wrap in the diaper bag. He likes being in it at home, provided all his other little baby needs have been met. Maybe that will make him happier in public. Today we took him out for a little bit and he was just fine.

In the morning, Emmet gets in bed with me after his dad goes to work. Then I nurse him lying down when he asks, and we do get more rest.

pepper
i would maybe reconsider the pill. i don't want to tell you what to do but that level of hormones is bound to make it into your milk supply (everything you eat and drink does) and it can't be good for baby. there is so little study on hormones and how they affect children (hormone laden meat and milk industry doesn't want that looked at AT ALL!) but hormone imbalance leads to all kinds of health issues. take care with that. a hormone free iud is highly effective and an easy option from all i have read about it. not perfect, of course, but at least not in any way a potential danger for your wee one.
beck
i am really struggling to get out and about much at all at the moment, she naps for about three hours in the afternoons but when not asleep is very unpredictable feeding-wise, and she doesn't go to sleep in the stroller or the sling. i guess i should get out during nap time but i don't want to disrupt her sleeping well in the daytime as it's the only time off i get at the moment and only chance to get things done around the house/go on BUST etc (bf v busy at work so don't have that all-important spare pair of hands).

i am hoping that once my milk supply has settled things will improve. i have some problems with oversupply which results in very long, drawn out feeds as we have to keep stopping to burp, bounce etc. i know oversupply sounds like an enviable problem to have but i am finding it a bit tough, i love breastfeeding her but it gets a bit stressful when i'm constantly spraying her and giving her bellyache! anyone experienced this? how long did it take to settle? i got some good advice from la leche league which is helping to even things out - to stick to one side for 2 hours at a time, it seems to be helping.


moxiegirl
So, there are times as a parent that your child makes you just want to pull your hair out, scream and walk away. generally, these times occur between 1am and 4am in my home. For about 3 weeks now, moxette has been up EVERY NIGHT wanting cuddles, NOT doing the sleep alone thing. It was seriously getting to me this morning. Preface- we're in the very early stages of nighttime potty training...she REALLY wants it, but isn't very good at it yet. We let her go w/o diaper about 1X week, maybe. Last night, went potty, hadn't had a drink for an hour at least, so we figured, OK, let's try underpants. Then, 5am...CRYING for MOMMY. I go down to check on her, and she says "Mommy, i have to go potty!" OK! WHOO HOO!

She had already had an accident, though, so I still had to change her PJs and bed sheets. She would not settle down w/o me there. Ugh. I was so snippy this morning...until something clicked and I remembered the basic theory in "touchpoints," that when a child is about to make a HUGE leap forward, something else suffers developmentally. Over, and over, and over for Moxette, this has been sleep patterns and self comforting. So, it occurred to me that perhaps her waking up, in a diaper still, was her body saying "GO PEE" but her mind not knowing it and making her all discombobulated.

Thinking this has helped me realized that she needs my help linking the two, not my frustration or resentment...which she has genuinely engenderd. Thank the parenting gods for T. berry brazelton and his brilliant theory of child development.

POint being...read his book, its cool. And, don't freak out when your kid makes you want to throw it accross a room...it happens over and over and over again.

Beck, I don't know what to say about the over-feeding. Can you pump prior to, or just after, detaching bebe? Good luck!
beck
thanks moxie. pumping is very tempting but in the long term stimulates even more production so i'm just hand expressing a tiny bit to slow the flow, or getting her latched on, then taking her off and letting the first bit spray off into a muslin. 3 hour block feeding on the same side seems to be doing the trick though - much less gassy and feeds are lasting 20 rather than 3 minutes! thank goodness.

as far as getting out goes, i realised i need to give myself permission not to do much. she is only tiny and i realised i should just enjoy the fact that when she does sleep, she sleeps well, even if it's not at the most convenient times.
nakedmolerat
Dang Karcher, I hope things are going better for you!! You sound like a really strong person for pulling off all of those adjustments, that is admirable.

Hey Pink, don't feel bad about breaking the rules- the mr. and I had playtime 2 weeks postpartum. Stupid, I know. I don't know what got into us. I felt desperate for that intimacy and comfort more than anything after my hellish experience with labor, and I was lucky not to have any infections or problems. I am crossing my fingers for the LAM to pull through!!! As for the pill, I hear that you shouldn't take a combined pill with estrogen in it but that a progestin only mini-pill is safe for your milk supply and that some women even find that it increases your milk supply. I'm a little iffy on the hormone thing like pepper, but I'm still planning to get the hormonal iud because I'm so anemic that it isn't a good idea to use the copper one yet (it can cause a lot of bleeding). They told me that since it delivers low amounts of hormones directly to the uterus, it isn't in your bloodstream and doesn't pass through in large amounts in your milk. I hope they're right. Maybe I should reconsider?


Dang Moxie, that sounds rough! That is great that she really wants to do it, I hope she gets the hang of it soon! I'm sure she will, and you are awesome for keeping her developmental needs in mind. A lot of people don't bother to read up on that stuff, and you're trying your best to be patient even though it's wearing you out. I hope you get a good night sleep soon, you need it!! Hmm... I've taken so many child development classes and that guy doesn't ring a bell, I'll be sure to check his book out!

Oh my gosh beck, i was going through the same thing! I still kind of am. I'm glad you found the three hour block thing helpful. I might try it! smile.gif My lactation consultant told me that my ginormous milk supply was due to all of the fluids I was pumped with during my hospital stay with IVs. My poor baby chokes, gags, etc. But the worst was the gas from all the foremilk he was drinking and the fussy, sleepless nights which she told me were because he wasn't getting full because he wasn't getting to the hindmilk (protein). She recommended pumping 1oz from the breast before he nursed at night, and to see if that helped. Then she said if that didn't help to let him have the breast twice before switching sides, and to nurse him more frequently for shorter periods instead of longer spaced out feedings. Apparently the higher volume they take in, the faster it moves through their digestive system and to the bowels, not giving them time to produce the enzymes necessary to break it down and the lactose ferments giving them gas. So I tried it and that seemed to do the trick for me. However, I am storing milk for emergencies and for when I go back to work, so I pump at the same time each day. As long as I can pump at around the same time each day everything seems balanced. Otherwise I do get engorged.
P.S. I like your attitude about not getting out as much. I'm going to try to adopt the same reasoning because it's been hard to adjust to- I was always the pick-up-and-get-the-hell-outta-here-on-a-minute's-notice kind of gal, but obviously that's just not feasible anymore and it can be frustrating. But you're right, they are so tiny and it's best to just relax and enjoy them while we can.

Now I'm having a new problem... My baby has an insane rash all over his face!!! I don't know if it's infant acne or eczema or something in my diet that he's allergic to. I need to take him to the doctor but his insurance is still being worked out. sad.gif It's red and full of tiny little bumps all over his face and shoulders.... It looks awful and I'm so worried!!! Anybody else have a baby with a crazy red bumpy face? sad.gif
beck
typing w babe hrere

nm how old is he? @ 6 weeks babygirl came ouyt in spots apparently its the liver kicking in and flushing all the toxins out -good sign

ETA: ok she's nodded off now, i can type properly. she didn't look too pretty but the spots went in about a week. i didn't use anything on them, just washed her face daily with plain water. it just means everything is working as it should. at least, that's what my mum said!

i wonder if my oversupply stemmed from the hospital making me pump milk for top-up feeds while she was jaundiced - i had plenty of milk in my boobs but they made me pump and give a top-up from a tiny cup. i am grateful they did that rather than formula top-ups, but i think it was unnecessary as i could have just kept her at the breast for longer (which is what i did after a few attempts with the stupid cup - feeding a 3 day old baby from your boobs is hard enough, never mind from a thimble).

i wouldn't worry too much about the sex, the 6 week thing is not set in stone, just the kind of time people start to feel comfortable enough for it. if you felt ready, chances are you were. i tried at 4 weeks but...ouch!

good luck with the sleep moxie. tomorrow i am going to experiment a bit with babygirl - her current 'routine' (haha) is go to sleep at 3am, get up at 11:30am (with a feed at 8:30 or so), nap from 3 to 6pm. i am super grateful she is giving me a decent chunk of sleep, but i rarely see daylight anymore. tomorrow i am going to get her up after her morning feed. nothing major, but just gently try to reset that little body clock. am i being ridiculous?


moxiegirl
NM- i'll read everything in JuST a sec, promise. The baby 411 website has a great photo gallery of common rashes.

Baby 411 rashorama

I've used it in looking at the odd and regular rashes M gets.

beck, how old is she? We started working a "routine" at about 8 weeks, but very gently. By 4 months, we were ready to start pushing a bit harded on self-soothing techniques, and by 7-8 mos, we were pretty darn OK with letting her cry for a good spell before going in. That said, I remember MANY a 2am BUST post with a cranky, fussy, pissed off moxette in the background. Its just terribly difficult to not attend to a crying baby/child- but once we were assured all her "needs" (food, diaper, gas, cuddles) were taken care of, from then on, she had to learn on her own. Honestly, a 2.5, she's still not very good at it... would MUCH prefer one or both of us with her. Which is great, except that means that WE don't get adult time after bedtime and that WE don't get good sleep with our little side-sleeper. I'm willing to sacrifice one OR the other from time to time...but not both.

Anyone who's been around here for a while knows my genuine affection and respect for Dr. Brazelton. His book is more about describing his experiences at each well-baby visit, and the needs and developmental milestones associated with each. Basically, each time a major milestone is about to happen, he's observed over 40+ years as a practicing physician that it takes up ALL of the mental resources of the wee one to cope with the change, such that some other mastered skill (sleep, eating, behavior, verbal acuity in older toddlers, etc.) will regress for a bit. Knowing that as a parent, he feels, helps the Parent learn to be patient and helpful, rather than depressed and resentful. Its worked for us, so far.

Here is the link to his website:

Brazelton's Touchpoints.

In the same way that "Taking Charge of your Fertility" is just COOL to read and know about, even if you're not TTC or using natural family planning; "Touchpoints" is just COOL to read and think about how it applies to your own family. On the Ferber-total AP scale of "philosophical" books, I'd say this one sits right about in the middle.
beck
she's 11 weeks. the thing is, apart from the odd hours she keeps, she sleeps like a dream - one long sleep with just one feed, and one long nap. she is thriving, isn't cranky, and hardly cries, so i am a bit nervous that i will jeopardise all of that good stuff. but, i can't stay up till 3am every morning, even if i do get to sleep in to make up for it! am i trying to change things too soon, should i just roll with it for a bit longer?


moxiegirl
start now, but don't expect miracles. it sounds like she has good sleep patterns, just that her sense of time is like a different zone than yours! Think of how you might help her adjust to jetlag...
pinkmartyr
pictures of baby emmet

emmet goes to sleep after being nursed around 10:30 pm or so. He nurses every 2-3 hours during the night, and we get up for the day around 9am. that being said, whenever i think he's on a "schedule" he changes it up on me and won't sleep til 1 am. that happens occasionally. during the daytime, i am trying to stimulate him as much as possible by talking to him, playing, reading books, eye contact, acting like a dork. he lets me know when he's had enough. also, for daytime sleep, emmet sleeps in the living room with all the lights on, and whatever tv/music we have in the background. he enjoys sleeping in his swing during the day. at night he sleeps in a bassinet in our room til around 7am when isaac goes to work, at that point, emmet gets in bed with me. i am a bit concerned because he's slept a lot today- that always makes me nervous that he won't sleep tonight!
Christine Nectarine
pink, emmet is adorable! c-section babies always have such a nice round head...

there is no magic formula for sleep patterns mamas. you can only try what is comfortable with you. for me, it worked to do family bed about 3 months until she wasn't nursing much in the night, then crib in the room...by 6 months i was comfortable leaving her to self-soothe and cry herself to sleep in order to establish a routine. personally, i wouldnt wanted to have done it much earlier, cause baby is still connecting with you and learning to trust you to meet their needs.

naked, does your babe seem irritated by the rash, or does it just not look so great? hope it goes away or you get to figure out what it is!
pinkmartyr
thanks christine!

on the emmet hates shopping issue: today we went to the mall. he cried in his stroller, so i put him in his moby wrap. he was so much happier! he looked all around for a while, and finally fell asleep, and proceeded to sleep for the rest of the shopping trip!

he also had his first breast milk in a bottle experience today- he drank 3 oz. and did just fine, his dad said. when i got home, i pumped since i missed a feeding, and was able to freeze 4 oz of milk.

moxie, i bought that baby 411 book at the mall.
beck
what a cute and stylish kid! i love the bones outfit!

the day after i posted she went to sleep at 1:30, same again last night, both nights with a 6 hour stretch followed by a further 2-3 hours. i decided not to worry about it, so many people have told me their babies were the same and they went to sleep earlier once they got more active and tired themselves out. i would rather stay up late and get a great night's sleep. we are making more of an effort on the routine, so once she is tired earlier we can bring it forward gradually. i will focus on getting the milk issues sorted instead. boobs are slightly more co-operative after 2 days on the new regime...
nakedmolerat
Pink, your baby is such a doll!

Thank you so much Moxie, I'm sure I'll be visiting that site more than once!

Beck, my fingers are crossed for your new regimen, I can relate to how frustrating it can be!

So... My baby is sick sad.gif His rash has gotten worse, he has been throwing up, he has congestion and he slept almost the entire night and day yesterday which is NOT like him!!! He is so fussy and his throat is all hoarse, I am beside myself with worry! We took him to urgent care for his rash three days ago and they said they couldn't help because he's too small for steroids and they don't know what's causing it, but that it looked like an allergy rash. They just recommended fragrance free detergents and soaps, and lots of fragrance free lotion. So we did all that. We washed EVERYTHING! His car seat, his blankets, his clothes, our sheets, everything in a clear fragrance free detergent. I've been lubing him up religiously, etc. I've also cut dairy out of my diet in case he's allergic to the milk protein. Well, his rash has only gotten worse, and then yesterday he started showing signs of illness. Then we find out that his cousin has the chicken pox!! They've been in regular contact these past few weeks. Shit!!! My poor baby!! I feel so bad, he's going nuts trying to scratch himself when he's awake, and I'm so scared that he's just going to stop breathing because his nose is so stuffy and he's wheezing too. sad.gif I feel panicked!! We finally got the insurance sorted out so baby's daddy is trying to get him in to see a pediatrician today and I'm waiting to hear back from him. Otherwise we're going back to urgent care again. He's just so little! I'm so worried that he's going to get a secondary infection like pneumonia or something. I wish we could get him to a dermatologist too to see if he has an allergy to something in case it's not chicken pox, because he doesn't seem to be running a fever, but his body is pretty limp, his cry is pretty weak, and he is clearly ill. sad.gif
beck
oh naked you poor thing! i hope you get an appointment soon, it must be nerve-wracking for you. do you have one of those bulb things to help clear his little nose? i haven't tried them but it might help clear his nose.
~~~get well soon vibes for baby m~~~


pinkmartyr
naked, this must be so scary for you! i hope baby matthew gets well soon. please keep us posted. i hope he was able to get a doctor's appointment today.
beck
hi blanche! glad you are enjoying baby! i like thirsties, they are super cute, easy to use, and very quick drying (i don't have a dryer). i've tried lots of different brands and found the 2 part systems with a separate waterproof cover are the best for containment, i've only ever had leaks in disposables. for washing/storage - throw used ones in a plastic bucket with lockable lid, 'dry pail\, don't soak, and a simple hot (not boiling) wash with half the amount of detergent and no softener. it is so easy. i wash every couple of days, longer than that and you might want to rinse them before putting in the bucket. i tend to rinse the poo out but the washer gets it out just fine without. once they start on solid foods it's probably an idea to use a flushable paper liner too to get rid of the worst of the debris!

looks like thirsties do an all-inone as well as 2 part system: thirsties
anoushh
Naked, I'm so sorry. This must be so scary for everyone. I hope things start to improve soon!

Emmet IS adorable! I mean, babies are, of course, but emmet is super cute! Thanks for the pictures.

(As to the non-pointy head, notbob's birth was so fast he never had the pointy head. I'd totally prepared myself for a pin-head and he came out all rounded!)

I just want to say something about temperament again. Something that is so hard to remember sometimes, and that is not mentioned in books so often is that babies have differing temperaments. On sleep, I tried all the stuff that all the books (well, the not-ferber and ferber-esque books said) and for me basically none of that worked. What my barely sleeping in the best of times baby needed was me. And for an intense, high need kid like he is, that was a genuine need. He's now just turned two and for the most part he still sleep with us.

I agree with mox that you need to see that all the babies needs are met. But for some babies the need for close contact is greater than others. This is also more true at some times in their life than others (hence the baby doing better in the moby wrap at the store than in the carrier.) I think moxette sounds like a great example of a kid who did well with the system/approach that was used with her. It was a good fit for baby and parents. When I tried it all it meant was that I got even less sleep than the little I was getting, and notbob had even more disturbed sleep and slept even less/more fitfully, and felt like a terrible person.

That doesn't mean it's a bad approach. It means only that it was a bad fit for my child and his personal temperament. There is no one size fits all.

This is why for sleep I still prefer the Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears. It does address temperament and it has many approaches to various issues (using a certain set of principles of course, but how they are expressed can vary with the needs of both the parents and the child). I also like the discussions of what they call a "high need child" because it so clearly fits notbob--and because he acknowledges that as a ped he really didn't see what the big deal was about things like sleep until he had a kid who was very different--high need--from the others. He likes to quote a mom who said "why do high need babies need more of everything except sleep?" He also takes great pains to say that their high need baby is now a wonderful adult, and points out the challenges and the benefits to this kind of kid in a very nice, positive, but realistic way.

I think this is true for pacifiers, too. I didn't plan on giving notbob a pacifier. I don't remember now what my lame justification was, but he set me straight right away. He still likes it, though we try to put it out of sight during the day (unless something really scary or upsetting happens, as then it comforts him a lot, but he has it at night.

As to fearing that they'll need these things too long--babies are always changing. I think that's one of the hardest things about being a first time parent-- you don't ahve the evidence in front of you that they will naturally move on in so many ways--if their needs are met. Eventually he won't need a pacifier, but he made it VERY clear from a very young age that he did.

My mantra when I found myself worrying about "spoiling" or anything like it was "meet his needs now, and then he can move on when it's time." that is, instead of desperately trying to get those needs met later, when he should have moved on, but is instead stuck in meeting needs that were never met.

moxiegirl
Annoush- Can we ALL get a HelLS YeAH for doing what WORKS in your own family!!! We all stress so much about whether we're doing the RiGHT thing...but some wise old busite once said (as regards arguments over sleep issues): "Whatever gets the most people the most sleep...DO."

this is basically what i meant by having all the best intentions, but throwing them all out the window when your kid tells you he/she needs something different.
anoushh
HelLS YeAH!!!!!

QUOTE
this is basically what i meant by having all the best intentions, but throwing them all out the window when your kid tells you he/she needs something different.


And to that too!
pollystyrene
*delurks*

I just saw an ad for this movie in the sidebar on another site, and thought y'all might be interested.

((nakedmolerat & baby)) Hope everything's okay...

off to cross-post in the pregnancy thread....

*relurks*
pinkmartyr
so today my bf comes home from work and he's crying. i run from the dishes i'm doing to ask what's wrong- i wondered about his kids in georgia, or maybe he had a car accident... he says
"they random drug tested me today."
he is an occasional pot smoker and has smoked a few times this month, including yesterday. he's in management at work, and is getting ready to finish a 17 week program for another promotion. he works in the grocery store business, and every secret shopper he's had yielded a 100 % score. he's been very successful and dependable there.
i think he's going to lose his job, and everything invested in it, but i am trying to keep it together because i mainly take care of the baby right now, and he needs me not to be all worried. plus i heard that stress affects your milk supply. so i told my bf, "you need to get it together and think about how you're going to solve this situation, because i have to take care of our child and cannot afford to get stressed out."
its a really crappy situation, compounded by the fact that we have a six week old baby on my bf's insurance policy, and my bf is supposed to pay our hospital bills and for childcare. he has sworn off pot and plans to start looking for another job in the morning to be ready in case they do fire him. he's so upset at having let me down, and honestly, i'd be taking it worse, but feel like its my personal duty to keep it together because i'm someone's mom.
beck
oh no pink, really hope he doesn't lose the job ((pink))
sorry can't write more babe is not napping!! maybe he will just get a warning or something, especially if they have invested in his training.
beck
oh no pink, really hope he doesn't lose the job ((pink))
sorry can't write more babe is not napping!! maybe he will just get a warning or something, especially if they have invested in his training.
pepper
wow pink, that's what we call "shitty buzz". best of luck mama.


i finally found my new baby secrets list, it was stashed in a box of stuff for the baby book i never made for little. oops.

here's a brief version, i'm working on one for my little sis' who's expecting at the end of march so any jems you want to add will be greatly appriciated! i don't have internet at home anymore but i'll make sure to check in and see if anyone posted anything. thanks girls!!

vernix on baby (this was a freaky thing to see) don't wipe it off, it rubs in and is great for baby skin.
baby acne, little white dots, funny bumpy skin, all totally normal and don't require any freak out trips to the ER.
hair falling out either patches or entirely.
that stinky cheesey goo between their fingers and toes and behind their ears. eww! who knew. baby guck.
both of my little's have a faint blue line at the top of their nose between the brows.
those lovely orange chunks of wax that fall out of their ears.
fresh out of the oven babies fingernails are totally weird at the ends. they aren't hard and they don't quite reach the ends of their fingers, they are kind of raggedy and fluffy.
baby boys can be born with giant testicles (from mama hormones), girls can have vaginal discharge and even a period and both boys and girls can have nipple discharge.
a good way to keep meconium poop from sticking to baby is to coat their bottom with olive oil for the first couple of poops.
breastfed baby poop comes out like foamy cappucino and it is mustard yellow from bilirubin, the same thing that causes jaundice. it can be sort of grainy too.
the enzyme neccessary for digesting starches (pylatin) isn't present in the human digestive system until around age 1, this makes rice and other cereals a less than optimum food.
babies have taste buds inside their mouths, that's why they stuff their cheeks with food!
when baby has a runny nose it can run out of their eyes too.
many babies have a slight bluish discolourations at the tail bone, it looks like a bruise but it isn't.
you can keep milk from letting down by firmly pressing a thumb into you nipple and holding it there until the tingle goes away.
babies get their front teeth first, then molars and then eye teeth last.


what secrets do you know?
beck
and, if they are fat - stinky cheesy goo in their neck folds! sooo hard to get in there and clean off, and then one day you are feeding them and they arch their neck and you see it and feel like the worst mother ever!

my suggestions: sleep when the baby sleeps (do not do housework), spend as much time naked in bed with babe in the early days as possible (added bonus of getting rid of unwanted visitors), trust your instincts, and remember each baby is different so don't compare your baby to others (or start panicking that you have done something wrong because they sleep differently or whatever). although these are not baby facts per se

actually here is a good one - breastmilk produces antibodies to whatever germs the baby comes in contact with at any point. so if someone with a cold kisses your baby, at the next feed the boobs will kick into action with magical protection against it! i don't think they even know how, whether it is from the skin contact or the baby's saliva. tres cool.

hey any of you guys with a stretchy wrap like a moby - i have traded mine in for a woven one (didymos) and i love it. so much more supportive now she is heavier. they market the stretch ones as good for up to 15kg but 15lb was too much for me, she was sagging down into my cleavage however tightly i tied it. now she stays in the right place and is much more comfy, and tons better for me.
moxiegirl
beck- i beg to differ on the breastmilk magically producing antibodies to a cold. Per our pediatrician, breastmilk does produce antibodies that help set up gastro system, but that rhino viruses of all sorts are only combatted by coming into contact with them...each individual virus is a unique being. Some viruses just aren't strong enough to cause a reaction. Per my own experience, best way to protect babies from colds is to have sick people wash hands and face before coming into contact with the bebe.

As for what to put into new baby wisdom: have a game plan, but don't be afraid to change it.
anoushh
Accept help from others. Baby raising wasn't meant to be done in isolation.
pinkmartyr
for pepper-

after the bellybutton stump falls of, there is often crusty blood on that area. don't worry- its normal. just wash it off in the bath.
don't forget to check between their little toes for lint!!! i was playing with Emmet the other day while changing his clothes, and happened to kiss his toes and notice all the lint packed in there!
its normal for them to have "dirt" under their fingernails- its from scratching and touching things.

beck i have a moby wrap, so i will have to check into that woven wrap.

after the drug test, my bf started applying for jobs. he interviewed on friday, was officially fired on sunday, and offered a new job just a few minutes ago. he starts monday, and the job is much closer to home (including baby's daycare and pediatrician).
beck
how breastmilk protects newborns

maybe colds was a bad example as they are viruses? not sure. anyway, this explains how breastmilk protects newborns against pathogens in their environment, is that different? science was never my strong point!

great news pink!
moxiegirl
Difference- Yeppa! Colds are viruses. Other pathogens can produce transmittable antibodies. Honestly, and maybe our pediatrician is more on the general suburban side of things, is to breastfeed and expose a baby (over 8 or 9 weeks) to as many other people as possible. He was thrilled to find out we have 2 cats and I was returning to work=daycare.

Basically, kids get sick when they come into contact with all sorts of new germs- at age 1, age 3 or 5-- I missed a whole lot of Kindergarden b/c that's when i was first REALLY exposed to other germies. Moxette was sick ALOT from age 6 mos to about 18 mos, but has only had the occasional sniffle since then. We were, honestly, flabergasted that she was sick enough to miss school a couple weeks ago. My nephew is 2.5 and just in preschool for the first time- poor kid is sick every other week.

I just read the article. From my experience, the only difference in my bottle fed and my BFF's boob fed kid- same age as M (in terms of sick issues...they were at the same daycare from age 3 mos on), is that moxette seems more prone to sinus, and jj seems more prone to ear infections. They got the same gut disease at the same time. Never had a UTI or, god forbid, meningitis. From the sciency perspective, I'd be cautious about an article posted just on a issue-promotion/information website, rather than a peer reviewed journal. But, then again, I'm picky about all things I find on the internets.
Christine Nectarine
breastmilk worked magically on one baby problem for me - kiddo had a blocked tear duct that would get all goopy, and a squirt of breastmilk for a few days cleared it right up! i'm all about the early exposure to lots of people too.

another "secret": those fluffy weird little fingernails? they can be very sharp! much easier to "trim" them by biting them off than clipping/cutting. you'll just tear off the roughjagged part, and not snip baby's finger.

that's great news pink! - i've never heard of anyone getting drug tested working in groceries. i don't think drug testing is very prevelant in Canada. there is a debate right now over whether public transit employees should be submitted to drug testing, but that's the first time i had ever heard of it! glad things went so smoothly. phew!
moxiegirl
christine- i am SO curious as to what made you think to use breastmilk to clear up a goupy eye? Talk about mother of invention!
beck
yeah, point taken on the sourcing of the article, it was just the first google hit i got - i agree though. just thought it might be of interest - i knew about milk containing general antibodies from the mother but didn't know the bit about producing antibodies to germs encountered day to day. i found it really reassuring in the early days when you are watching them every 2 seconds to check they are still breathing, you know?

moxiegirl
I find them breathing every 2 seconds when you check on them reassuring. There were times when moxette was barely home (< 1 week old), when she was sleeping in the swing next to me on the sofa, when i would sleep with one hand ON her the whole time, just in case.

I find myself wondering if I'll do the same with No 2....
moxiegirl
Ladies, some of us are 100% breastfeeding, some are formula feeding, some are both. Before there is a shitstorm of panic, i thought I'd post this link to the washington post's story about Melamine in Formula

I formula fed moxette, and plan to at least supplement this time around. I also work in environmental engineering, where our whole industry is based on risk management- a fancy way of saying "what will really hurt human health and environment, and how best to manage it." SO, given that background, I'm still pretty nervous and conflicted about this. The trace amounts are VERY small, WAY lower than say, the EPA's level of "safe" arsenic in drinking water, which is WAYYYY more toxic than melamine (i know my spelling sucks), but without solid scientific study, its hard to say for sure. My plan is to talk with our pediatrician, whom I trust implicitly, about this from the scientific perspective before this one is born.

At any rate, i thought the article bore discussion, at least.
Christine Nectarine
the tone of that article seems to go: HEY! Here's a reason to PANIC!...now hold on, nobody panic, okay? At least they are being upfront about their findings, so parents can make their own desicion about their infants diet. companies should be transparent about safety concerns, so it can become clear whether they are addressing problem or not.

moxie, i was very fortunate that my GP does obstetrics, and is a lactation consultant. she advised me breast milk would work for the tear duct! i was amazed. she also prescribed me her own special concoction for diaper rash creme, which worked beautifully. she's an excellent, holistic-thinking doctor. i dread ever moving so far that i'd have to loose her as a family doctor!
moxiegirl
well, most WP articles are totally like that when it comes to PANIC,,,don't PANIC stuff. Was the same way with the infant/children's cold medicine. Again, I deferred to the advice of my pediatrician, who basically said the cold meds are labled "call your doctor" for a reason. LIke triaminic does a great job helping dry up snot just enough to let M sleep when she has a bad runny nose...but only time cures a cold. Ans "cough" meds for kids generally are cough suppressants, not expectorants...so, duh...they don't work. They mask. Give a kid some tussin and see what happens. Duh.

OK, kidlet is down for a nap, and I think I will be, too.
kiss_the_fiddler
Hey gals!

Been busy w/fiddlebaby. He's getting so big! I'll try to read to catch up. Glad to see you here though.

fiddle
beck
hi everyone. i have a question for the co-sleepers among you. i have always had the little one right next to me in a moses basket but was wasting a lot of time after each night feed trying to get her back into it. now i have cracked feeding lying down and in bed, the actual feeding is easier, and she goes right back to sleep each time in the bed - wonderful. also feels very bonding as we are both sleeping better and i enjoy night feeds more when they are not dragging on for ages with me trying to resettle her.

but - i am struggling a bit with all the advice on safe co-sleeping - which says you shouldn't use heavy quilts. as i understand it, this is due to overheating and suffocation risks which is greatest under 3 months (baby is 4 months). i use a quilt but not a heavy one - 4.5 tog which is summer weight.

what do you guys do? having her out of our bedding and in a baby sleeping bag makes it a bit harder to move her around for feeds, rub her back etc, and i am worried she might end up under our covers as well, which would defeat the purpose somewhat.

i still think i am choosing the safest sleeping option, all things considered, but would like to be sure am doing it as carefully as possible. grateful for any advice!
kiss_the_fiddler
QUOTE(beck @ Jan 5 2009, 12:42 PM) *
hi everyone. i have a question for the co-sleepers among you. i have always had the little one right next to me in a moses basket but was wasting a lot of time after each night feed trying to get her back into it. now i have cracked feeding lying down and in bed, the actual feeding is easier, and she goes right back to sleep each time in the bed - wonderful. also feels very bonding as we are both sleeping better and i enjoy night feeds more when they are not dragging on for ages with me trying to resettle her.

but - i am struggling a bit with all the advice on safe co-sleeping - which says you shouldn't use heavy quilts. as i understand it, this is due to overheating and suffocation risks which is greatest under 3 months (baby is 4 months). i use a quilt but not a heavy one - 4.5 tog which is summer weight.

what do you guys do? having her out of our bedding and in a baby sleeping bag makes it a bit harder to move her around for feeds, rub her back etc, and i am worried she might end up under our covers as well, which would defeat the purpose somewhat.

i still think i am choosing the safest sleeping option, all things considered, but would like to be sure am doing it as carefully as possible. grateful for any advice!




we don't co-sleep. fiddlebaby sleeps in his own bed in his own room. once in awhile though, he'll nap with me in my bed. when he does, he like to be in my armpit. i worry that he won't get enough air but he does. anyway, i don't have any good advice.

it's good to hear from you though.

fiddle
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