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pepper
And not just because the doctor wants the $400-$600 payment for the proceedure. dry.gif
Sorry to say, I can't think of a good reason to do it at all. I know some people still do but... why?
I'm biased though, I know a man who's was botched. He can never have sex, even erections are excruciating. It's severely messed him up for life and for what exactly? I don't get it.

Not a judgement, just my view.
koffeewitch
Pepper, I have been dying to know about circ. stats in Canada...In the US, it used to be done to nearly all boys and is now down to 75% in the midwest and less than half on the west coast. I know that boys do not have this procedure done in Europe (except for religious reasons).
We do it in the US because the Puritans believed it would prevent masturbation (good luck with that, right). And so now, it's just such a cultural thing that many mothers here would never even consider NOT having it done.
Where does Canada stand in all this??
pepper
The following was posted on my Ontario mama's group:

See www.nocirc.org, click on NOCIRC Publications in the menu at the top of the home page, scroll down to the 2009 NOCIRC Annual Newsletter, and see page 6, right-hand column under United States and then Maryland, you'll find the 2005 statistics. I've just learned that the rate is down 6% more in the past year. We're at the tipping point and now boys who are without their foreskins are asking their parents what happened to their foreskin when their friends have theirs.

This latter aspect is especially disturbing because we have so much more information today about how circumcision alters normal sexual functioning and we understand why circumcision causes the #1 sexual complaint of young males--premature ejaculation. Without the 20,000-70,000 highly specialized, erogenous nerve endings that encircle the opening of the foreskin, a circumcised male ejaculates but he will never be able to ride the wave to orgasm. He has no feedback to the brain about what his penis is feeling. As C. J. Fallier, MD, wrote in the Journal of the American Medical Association in 1970, "...the fundamental biological sexual act becomes, for the circumcised male, simply a satisfaction of an urge and not the refined sensory experience that it was meant to be." Then, later in life, males suffer sexual dysfunction and impotence. Why? Because they've lost the important protective covering of the glans and all the normal nerve endings in it. Without the covering, the glans becomes dry, hardened, and calloused, burying the free nerve endings in the glans, which are not nearly as sensitive as the Meissner's corpuscles in the foreskin and lose their sensitivity when buried by callousing.


Here are two points from the site's home page:

•No national or international medical association recommends routine circumcision.

•Only the USA circumcises the majority of newborn boys without medical or religious reason.

That said the WHO recognizes that circ reduces the risk of heterosexually acquired HIV infection in men by approximately 60%. So the stats in your link Koffee aren't exactly accurate in that regard but the rest of it is bang on. I don't think (this is my opinion, not a judgement of others) that approximately 60% justifies making that sort of serious decision for another human being, no matter how well intentioned. When a person reaches sexual maturity the onus is on them to learn responsible sexual behavior. I would no sooner take that decision away from them than I would take their university exams for them, or their driving test, or any other life lesson. In the interest of "protecting" our children we often end up thwarting their own personal development. It's a shame we don't have better examples to follow in this but our parents were mostly oblivious to these issues. I mean, were there even child psychologists back then? Now we know better, or at least one would hope...

The HIV/circ issue is still debated, info here
http://www.nocirc.org/circ&aids.php

One point that I did agree with wholeheartedly is that circ (and guardasil) in terms of preventing HIV may very well create a false sense of security that leads to less safe sex practices in the end. A scary thought but this is what I mean when I say we take away from personal responsibility by making these decisions for each other.

Hard choices all around.
koffeewitch
Thanks for the fantastic info, Pepper. That's some of the best analyses of the effects of circumcision on sexual functioning that I've seen.

I've wondered about the HIV research...not that I don't believe the results, I can see how a virus could linger in the foreskin, etc. But how do they come up with their numbers? Surely they don't take groups of intact and circed men and have them exposed to the HIV virus to see who contracts it and who doesn't. And even if they DID do that, there would still be too many other variables to draw specific conclusions. (If the man with the circ reaches orgasm more quickly and spends less time in contact with the infected partner, THAT could also be a factor).

I really think we are going to see circumcision rates going down in most places in the US, interestingly in the forum "Punk Rock Domestics" in the Mamma section, an expectant mother just put up a survey about this issue and a whopping 60% of the participants were against circumcisions. This seems to match the current feeling on the West coast. The pro-circ group really couldn't give any reasoning for their opinion, just a lot of talk about "what if the kid gets picked on in the locker room at school" and that sort of thing. I've been dying for the US to join the rest of the world on this issue, instead of being the only nation that does this as a routine procedure (and I DEFINITELY think it has to do with that $400-$600 price tag). 'Course I've been waiting for the US to follow the rest of the world in all sorts of parenting issues: breastfeeding, co-sleeping, midwives, etc.
pepper
On the nocirc site there is some info about how the HIV research may not be accurate and why (details about how they test that theory, etc.) One thing they did find was that female circ is Highly effective at preventing HIV infection and spread blink.gif . So by the WHO's logic this should be the practice we turn to next. No one's going to buy into that though, right?
koffeewitch
Here's a lovely segue from talking about penises to talking about little boy's underwear. (God, that sounds so wrong).
I just saw this craft that uses size 4 Batman/Spiderman, etc. underwear to make a wallet. (Mommy needs some PowerPuff Girls or Hello Kitty or Wonder Woman to make just for her).http://www.craftbits.com/project/undies-wallet?
I thought her picture of the finished project looked much cuter than I had anticipated. I always see packages of kids underwear like this at Odd Lots on the cheap.

At the same site were directions on making a purse from a bra to raise awareness for breast cancer. A lacey bra with aded sequins or fringe makes a very cute little bag. (Or a cute BIG bag, depending on the bra in question).

http://www.craftbits.com/project/undies-wallet?utm_campaign (Trying for that link to the undies project again; this one will work...)
koffeewitch
http://www.cnn.com/2010/HEALTH/04/05/breas...osts/index.html
Here's a recent study published in Pediatrics about how breastfeeding for at least six months would save the nation $$$ and 1000 lives per year. Currently only 14% of US women are still nursing their babes at 6 months.

While I'm pleased at the money put into the research, I'm pretty pissed that our government does NOTHING to help women reach this goal. Breastfeeding moms have virtually no protection in the workplace, the government cut all funding for lactation specialists in WIC years ago and I've never seen the government actually DO anything for women or even offer up a PSA. Congress is good at funding things that help protect the health of white, middle-aged men (I.e. themselves), but health funding for anything else is "pork".
pepper
We get a year of mat leave in Canada. What is it you get down there, like 6 weeks or something? Ridiculous.

Here's a yahoo article about spanking http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/family-relat...haviour-in-kids
not really news but a confirmation that it's ineffective and negative all around.
koffeewitch
That 6 weeks or whatever that we get down here is not even for everyone; and for most people who can take it, it is UNPAID. Then god forbid a mom wants to pump her milk at work; there is really no protection for breastfeeding moms in the workplace. I watched a case go in front of our supreme court in which a BFing mom sued the company and the questions/comments that the judges asked were ridiculous. It came down to BFing is not seen as part of pregnancy, it is a personal choice that a woman makes so it doesn't get protection under the pregnancy anti-discrimination laws.

A friend of mine also posted that spanking article on her FB page last week and it totally makes sense. What does it tell our kids when we use physical pain/ humiliation as a means of teaching them ?
eyelet
Just wanted to chime in that sometimes government agencies get it right. WIC provided me with a great lactation consultant as well as a hospital grade pump free of charge for as many months as I needed it. I only got WIC, however, because I had a failed home birth and no maternity insurance which meant medicaid would have to pay for my birth. With medicaid you're automatically eligible for WIC.

As a side note, I could not buy maternity insurance in my state because I'm self-employed. I would have otherwise.

But as for the way maternity leave and BF are treated in the workplace in US labor law, nothing nice to say about that.
Fookie
Hello everyone.

If you read/post on the Pregnancy or Childree Not By Choice thread, then you probably already know that three days ago I found out I would be brining home an eight week old baby (he's six weeks now) in the next week or two.

Someone at work recommended I register on the BabyCenter website to learn all about milestones etc. (since I have about a week to catch up on what many people have nine months to learn!) ... I was wondering if anyone here can recommend any other websites ... I'd describe myself as a bit of an Earth Mamma, and was wondering if there was something that might be more up my alley in terms of baby websites.

Thanks so much for your help.
Fookie
Oh my ... I"m sorry, I searched for a thread on parenting ... and didn't realize this was the one in the SEX section ... I'm thinking I'm not posting in the right place now ... anyone care to redirect me? Couldn't find anything in the Friends and Family section ... where sould I be looking?
Thanks.
pepper
I always thought that was odd too but you're in the right place. I seem to recall it was started here by a mum who was feeling like her sexiness had taken a back seat to parenting and she wanted to reclaim that, or something along those lines anyhow.

mothering.com is a naturalish mama website you could check out.
Fookie
Thanks, Pepper.
I noticed you on the Pregnancy board and thought that you might have a good suggestion. I'm glad you're on this board too. Any "book" suggestions? My local book store had zero copies of anything "natural" ... having read your post on the RAW food diet in the pregnancy thread, I'll re-define myself as a lower case "e" "earth mamma." I was hoping there would be some sort of "raising baby green/naturally" book that would include info, not just on making our own baby food, but also have natural approaches to non-emergency medical care, natural tips to keep diaper rash under wraps etc. etc. I'll be taking him to my naturopath soon after he comes home with us, so I'm sure she'll have some good ideas, but thought I'd try to get a head start with some advice from all you marvellous Bustie mammas.

Ooooh. While I'm on here (now that I know this isn't just a sex thread - because this next question is about diapers and would probably kill the mood if it was ...) ... anyone use G-Diapers? Any thoughts/tips?

Thanks again.
koffeewitch
Fookie: Some months ago I tried to get this thread moved to a different spot (under Friends & Family) or even to start a new thread...I had been worried that Bustie mamas would not be able to find this thread buried in the "sex" section. (I sure never thought of it). I guess the more we all post here, the more this thread will pop up on the main screen and hopefully the other mamas will see it.

You might want to do a general search under "attachment parenting" and see what books/articles come up that might be of interest to you. La Leche League has some good recommendations for books on their site, too. I'm definitely the earth mama sort, too, and I get a lot of good ideas from the blogs of like-minded mamas. I think mainly you want to give yourself permission to follow your own insticts even if the pediatrician, your mother, your MIL, or whoever disapproves.

Also, FYI: Intact needs just 300 more signatures to reach their goal. If you believe that circumcisions should only be done at the specific request of the parents and not as "routine" surgery, please sign. This is a quick, super easy, 5 second petition (none of that crap where they want all your personal info/telphone number/address/ date of birth, etc.)
http://org2.democracyinaction.org/o/5922/t...etition_KEY=645
pepper
Hmm, I have to think about books like that. Gimme a second...
I have a copy of Natural Parenting by Jan Hunt that is very good regarding child led parenting. The Vaccine Guide by Neustaedter is excellent, very balanced with tons of actually data. Any of the raw food websites with parenting forums will have excellent info on natural everything (Allysa Cohen's site rawfoodtalk.com is good). I'm sure I had books, I just can't remember any of them. I'll think on it.

You're still Earth with an "E" even just for considering alternatives. wink.gif
aphelendra
Hi bustie mamas!

Interested as well if anyone else tried g-diapers . . . . fookie, let me know what you think if you end up giving them a try.

Back to the preggo thread I go . . . .
julie124
Personally, I'm a big fan of The Baby Book by Dr. Sears. They are all about the attachment parenting, and although I don't do all the things they suggest (we don't do co-sleeping, for instance) I really like their outlook and I think it fits well with folks with more of a "natural parenting" kind of bent. They do a lot about how to use a sling and different ways to really build that bond with your baby.

Right now we're using The No-Cry Sleep Solution to try to help Henry learn to sleep better (he had been getting up every two hours...not cool) without doing the "cry it out" thing. Which isn't totally a "natural parenting" kind of thing, but I think it kind of fits. My pediatrician recommended this book to us and I like that it basically starts with assessing your own situation and your child, then picking suggestions that fit (instead of a prescriptive sort of method that is more of a one-size-fits-all situation).

I'd echo Pepper's suggestion of mothering.com. I've also seen some great suggestions on earth-friendly parenting and natural remedies on some of the cloth diapering sites. Some of those sites have their own forums, too.

Another thing I found really interesting - though it's not specifically natural remedies - was a site on the concept of equally shared parenting. That is, rather than one parent working outside the home while the other stays home full time, or day care while both parents work outside the home, it's about parents who figure out an arrangement in which they can equally share both breadwinning and parenting duties. We're not completely doing that (mr. julie is home most of the time with Henry and I'm earning the lion's share of the income) but my main job is part-time and I have a lot of flexibility to work from home, so it's a bit like that.

Glad to see this thread getting active again! Fookie, I'm so excited for you and your little son...boys are a ton of fun and it's a new adventure every day.
pepper
Why does she have to talk off ALL of her clothes to go pee? I mean, yay for using the potty ("Mommy, I PEE!") but why the nakie factor?

She's singing to herself in the other room right now. Row row row is the song of choice, or sort of a medley of that and twinkle twinkle. The cutest is when she sings Daisy Daisy, give me your answer do, she sings "I love cwazy!" instead of I'm half crazy. Too funny!
pepper
Hellooooo, ladies with babies, where are you?

She grabbed the stick holding a window up and it slammed down on her hand. OMG. Nothing broken, I tylenoled her up and nursed her to sleep (even though she's been weaned for a while now, thank Maude for the still milky boobs).
This child is so accident prone, there's so much blood with her! She demolished her knees, elbows, hands, wrists, and face last week, fell and reopened her knee 2 days ago and now this. Half her problem is that she's the kind of kid that likes to do the exact opposite of everything I say, on purpose with a big grin on her face. I don't know where she gets that, her brother was the total reverse. Sigh.
I should buy stock in bandaids.
pepper
Hmm, I thought we had mods now that deleted this kind of stuff... Oh well, whatever.

Please pass this along...

http://www.inhabitots.com/2010/06/11/85-of...levels-of-lead/

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6. Chef’s Review Fruit Cocktail
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9. Del Monte Diced Pears in Light Syrup
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jenny_dreadful
Thanks, Pepper, I can't believe how long the list is.

Archie is 6 months old this weekend, so weaning is about to begin. I'm planning on baby-led weaning, has anybody used this approach? I gave him a spoonful of baby rice a couple of weeks ago as well as some purees I'd made, and his lack of interest means I think something baby-led may work better for him.

I was due to go back to work in November, having had a year off with the baby, but I've lost my job! My company went bust last month. It's a bummer, but we've decided that I should take the opportunity to have another couple of months off, so I'm going to go back in January (if I've found a job by then, fingers crossed). It's worth tightening our belts a bit to have some more time being a full time Mum, but it's terrifying to lose that safety net of knowing I've got my full time job to go back to.
pepper
That is a little scary, I wish you the best of luck in finding something new.

I didn't feed the babies very much for the first year, just tastes of this and that and little wee portions (more like a bite or two) here and there. The girl was more interested than the boy so she was eating regularly earlier on but still mostly boob for about a year.
People don't develop the enzyme needed to digest starches until after a year so even though rice cereal is one of the first foods docs recommend I don't think it's wise. It just stresses their little systems out too much and they don't get any real nutrition from it anyhow (that added iron etc, well, those are chemicals instead of real vitamins and minerals, I don't think they're so great). I just did fruit or one fruit and one veg in the baby mill (like pear-kale or apple-spinach or finely grated carrot). I didn't even give and avocado or banana until after year one since they are starchy and heavy.

No nuts, oranges, strawberries, honey etc until much later on. I am veg so take this with a grain of salt but I wouldn't give any meat, dairy or eggs until much later on either. The first list are common allergens and the second are just really hard to digest.

beck
Hi Jenny, we did baby-led weaning, straight to finger foods and no mush. Worked great for us and she was able to self-feed great. Like pepper we focused more on fruit and veggies, even now at nearly 2 not much meat. Bit hazy in the memory but houmous went down well, I used to steam veg sticks (carrot, squash, apple etc) in my steamer. Anything chip shaped that they can pick up and gum. Roast sweet potato maybe? Toast fingers too. Yogurt and porridge on a loaded spoon. But boob juice remained the main gig for ages. I think it makes for a gentle transition from milk to solids, little tastes rather than huge volumes.

Sorry to hear about your job and best of luck for finding something else
beck
Oh and beware banana, bungs em up like you wouldn't believe
jenny_dreadful
Pepper and Beck thanks for your comments, I'm feeling really positive about the baby-led weaning after what you've both said. I'm keen to consider solid food as play more than nutrition for the first few months and not force Archie to take solid pureed food on a spoon. He's really learned to purse his lips over the past few days so I'm pretty sure that's what he'll do if I push a spoon towards him. Weaning is currently on hold as he has a stomach bug and has been puking since Thursday (and so have we - it's been a very pukey household chez nous!), poor little thing, so I'm waiting for his tummy to settle down before introducing any solid food.
damona
(x-posted in kvetch) today... i took my youngest son (age 5) to the dr. there is something wrong with his feet and/or legs. he's been complaining of his legs hurting for months. always at night, after he's been lying down for a couple hours. it's not growing pains, it's been going on too consistently for too long. the other day, i was walking behind him, and i realized that he is walking on the inside of his foot, practically on his ankle bones. he didn't used to walk like that. the dr called it "pronation" and she's concerned because it's usually apparent from the time a child starts walking, not something that suddenly develops. i made an appointment for him to see the ortho, so... i guess we'll just wait and see what he says.

sorry for just kind of barging in here with this, but...? anyone? can anyone give me any information or life experience or any anything?
koffeewitch
QUOTE(damona @ Jun 21 2010, 08:21 PM) *
(x-posted in kvetch) today... i took my youngest son (age 5) to the dr. there is something wrong with his feet and/or legs. he's been complaining of his legs hurting for months. always at night, after he's been lying down for a couple hours. it's not growing pains, it's been going on too consistently for too long. the other day, i was walking behind him, and i realized that he is walking on the inside of his foot, practically on his ankle bones. he didn't used to walk like that. the dr called it "pronation" and she's concerned because it's usually apparent from the time a child starts walking, not something that suddenly develops. i made an appointment for him to see the ortho, so... i guess we'll just wait and see what he says.

sorry for just kind of barging in here with this, but...? anyone? can anyone give me any information or life experience or any anything?


Sorry to hear about your little one Damona...when I was a kid, I went through a period of time when I would end up walking on the sides of my feet (like you descrbed in your son), probably because I have VERY high arches. I think most shoes were not compatable with my foot shape and it led me to roll my ankle inwards. I don't remember it causing me any pain, but because the feet are so connected to the stability of the ankles, knees, hips and all the joints and muscles in between I'm rather surprised I didn't get any cramping. I never had the problem when I was a baby, it was just when I was older. What I did was consciously retrain my muscles to put my weight more on the outside of my foot instead of letting my foot roll inward. The balancing yoga pose known as "mountain" was helpful for finding my balance and aligning my body/feet. If your son also has very high arches, you might find a good podiatrist (by good, I mean one who doesnt want to tackle every little alignment problem with surgery or other extreme means) who could fit your son with an insert in his shoes and exercies to help relax his arch, lengthen his foot and center his weight.

At any rate, please keep us posted on how he is doing...we all know it is the worst feeling in the world when you are worrying about your child's health.
koffeewitch
@ jenny dreadful: I took the same relaxed, baby-led weaning/feeding schedule with all my babes and I always thought it worked out beautifully. They all grew and thrived and were never plagued with allergies or digestion problems. Mostly with a first baby, I think it can be hard to resist some of that current tendency of new moms to talk about "how many ounces the baby ate at noon" and the constant scorekeeping with the amount of food and the baby's weight. Pediatricians don't help with their charts that detail how the baby is in the "70th percentile", etc. With my first baby I kept track of all that rot religiously; now I hardly pay attention to it as long as I can see the baby is growing and thriving.
jenny_dreadful
Koffeewitch, you're so right, I've only just stopped logging the number of millilitres of milk Archie has at each feed! I'm definitely feeling the pressure to get him on to three meals a day and moving him through the stage 1 phase of foods. I'm trying to resist and keep to the blw approach. I offered Archie steamed carrots, melon chunks and cucumber today. He waved them about, smushed them between his fingers and pushed them off his tray - look forward to seeing what he does tomorrow!
pepper
Damona, my little man (9) has pronation and has suffered from night cramps for years. We did see a pediatric orthopedic doctor years ago who said it was nothing to worry about but it's gotten worse over the years. His arches are very high, like mine, and very fallen. It's tragic. We're on the waiting list to see another doc who will hopefully give me a solution to this ongoing problem. It's difficult to treat because kids generally won't pay attention to how they're walking and correct it (I solved my own problem that way, my arches are still very high but I managed to change the way I walk and stand) and insoles are Very expensive and get outgrown in no time. Best you can do is buy high quality shoes with good arch supports, have him wear those shoes as much as possible and remind him every 5 minutes to pay attention to and correct his posture. This is a tough one, I worry that it will affect his muscular and skeletal development for life. I am hoping not...
koffeewitch
I noticed that my kids also seem to inherit my high arches rather than my partner's flat feet (maybe some balance will occur between our two extremes?) Like Pepper, I really had to work on consciously re-training myself to walk and stand... but how to get young kids to do this??? My kids do take "yoga classes" which are really just DVDs played in our living room. For me personally, it seems that walking barefoot has always been beneficial; I feel my problems came more from my shoes...then once I was used to redistributing my weight in an odd way to compensate for the bad shoes, even my walking in bare feet was somewhat affected. (Again this is speaking strictly for myself.

Sometimes I practice a technique I learned to relax and tone the foot. You get a small ball (maybe golf ball sized) and you roll the ball under your foot, letting the ball touch every part of the bottom of your foot. You can tell your child to imagine that the ball is covered with paint or ink and s/he needs to roll the ball under the foot until every part is covered in the imaginary "ink/paint".

Not to wish this type of condition on any of you or your children, but I feel somewhat comforted to see that I am not the only one who has had to deal with this sort of thing.
damona
pepper and koffee, little w seems to have extremely flat, wide feet. the dr said he pretty much has no arch. his achilles tendon practically zig-zags on the back of his ankles.

do you think that hand me down shoes have anything to do with it? he is the youngest of 4, so he gets all his brothers' things. he almost always goes barefoot, though, even when he starts out with shoes on laugh.gif he's one of those kids that takes them off very quietly in the car, and i won't even notice until we're already in the store or whatever.
koffeewitch
I don't know if this would help at all for a kid, but I remember seeing a lot of exercies in stretch/strengthen genre of books that are aimed at correcting flat feet. I can certainly relate to the wide feet thing, sometimes I have felt that I should throw away my shoes and just wear the shoe boxes. My 6 year old son also has wide feet and I've really had a hell of a time finding shoes for him. I don't think it matters much whether the shoe are brand new or second hand...all our shoes are pretty much made for some kind of "average" shaped foot. I remember my dad telling me that when he was in vietnam he would go to the shoemakers and they would measure his foot in a dozen places and sew up a perfect-fitting pair of shoes or boots for him! Can you even imagine?
pepper
Not to say that I have any idea whether it's contributed or not but second hand shoes are on my no-no list for anyone. They are already formed to the shape of another's foot, they can do no good.

I want those custom made shoes, that's brilliant!
julie124
My friend's toddler has extra-wide feet and she said that the See Kai Run brand worked really well for him. I think they're a bit on the spendy side, though. Custom-made shoes WOULD be awesome.

I was interested to read the solids discussion - we started Henry on solids about a month ago, though he's still mostly boob fed. We are using pureed food (Earth's Best, thankfully none on the list pepper shared!) and taking it slow. So far we've done rice cereal (which went fine, but compared to the other stuff he was kind of meh about it, so we probably won't do it often), pureed banana (very sparingly, keeping in mind the constipation factor), pears (he LOVES) and sweet potatoes (also enjoys...we're on day 2 of this one).

I kind of like the idea of him trying to self-feed - he definitely tries to feed himself a little bit when I feed him, so I think he might go for it. Any suggestions as to a good one to try? I'm thinking that since he's only done pureed thus far it would be good to get something that could be partially mushed but he could try picking up in his fingers. Banana would be easy, but again I'm trying to avoid constipation, and I had thought about avocado since I love it and it has some nice fats, but I'm open to suggestions. Again, I think we'll take it slow - right now it's kind of, he eats what he eats and when he isn't interested, we call it a day. And he gets as much from me as he wants.

I have to admit - I'm trying not to focus too much on it, but in the back of my mind I have been thinking that I'd like him to be ready to wean after a year. I'm trying not to focus on that as a firm date, though, because I know what a bonding thing it has been for both of us and I know it's going to take awhile for him to transition (especially since nursing is how he tends to settle down to go to sleep still).

koffeewitch
As for the bananas causing constipation...you may not have a problem since you're breastfeeding and your milk is naturally laxative.
It's so weird with the whole weaning thing: I've had plenty of women tell me that their kids suddenly decided they were done nursing at 14 months or whatever...but mine all went on for years. It's such an easy way to calm them when they're hurt/overly tired, etc. I've been happy to have something that works, but many times I thought my kids would never stop. I remember in the Hip mama books there was a cartoon of a grown man chewing "Nipplette Gum" to kick the habit. laugh.gif
beck
I hear you koffeewitch, my girl is almost 2 and no sign of her stopping anytime soon! Occasionally I can feel overwhelmed but mostly it's the best parenting tool in my arsenal! We nightweaned at 19 months and I don't nurse her in public any more because I think people are generally very positive about breastfeeding under ones but I feel more exposed with a big toddler on my lap! I've been back at work since he turned one and it was a nice way to reconnect after work.
pepper
Little girl here is 3 now but I still get asked for boobeh now and then, I'm still producing a teensy bit of milk so why not eh? No biggie to me and she loves to feel like I'm still really there for her baby self. I stopped regular nursing maybe 5 or 6 months ago now. The little man went to 3.5 and would have gone on longer but frankly, I was exhausted and I put a stop to it entirely. I look back now on that tiny investment of time and think, what is the big deal? I don't know why people make such an issue of it. You'd think ear infections etc would be more of a hassle and more work than whipping out a boob! My kiddies were so healthy the whole time they nursed, afterwards too of course but while others were suffering with every germ they caught mine were sniffly for 2 days on average if at all.

Medicine chest. I gots one.
damona
quick update on little w (i'm way tired)

i took him to the ortho, who watched him walk and poked and prodded and had all the charm of a dead fish, and he said "i don't see anything wrong there." i pointed out that the kids achilles tendon practically zig zags b/c he is walking on his inner ankle bones and he said "little kids do that." the only thing he did was get him an appt. at childrens hospital, in the city, to see the pediatric rheumatologist (sp? can't get it right.) not even the pediatric ortho. ugh.

i rarely presume that i know that much more than the highly paid professionals *cough* but in this instance, i'm pretty sure he's just a wee bit wrong.

i also took little w to the chiropractor that i've been going to for nearly 7 years, on the recc. of his pediatrician, and the chiropractor was horrified that the ortho had waved it off.

the drama continues... *sigh*
pepper
I know, right? The ped. ortho. we saw brushed it off too but hello, night pains in his legs that wake the whole darn house up for Years now Can't be right. We have another appointment, I better get some help with this or doc is getting an earful from me this time round.
sageykins
damona
Have you seen a physical therapist? Or an orthopedic doctor? I am a little late in my comment here but there could be a lot of muscle weakness or an orthopedic issue that coule be resolved with therapy.
Just a thought!
If your state has direct access you can see a PT without a doctor referral for I think 6 visits. This way it could be diagnosed by the PT and treatment started and then the doctor could follow up....
damona
i've been taking little w to the chiropractor for about a month now, twice a week, and he seems to be doing a bit better. he's only waking up about once a week with the leg pain. trust me, that is a huge improvement.

sageykins, i haven't taken little w to a pt yet, because we're on the state insurance and i have to get a referral, but i talked to the ped and she said after the appt at childrens, if they don't do anything, she'll send him for an eval. i also talked to my older sons' pt and she said she'll be happy to make room for little w in her schedule as soon as i can get him in there.

i am so ready for school to start. so tired of kids drooping around the house, bored and whiny. we've been so utterly broke this summer, we haven't done anything fun. it sucks.

anyone around here given any thought to homeschooling? i'm keeping little z home this year, at least for the first semester, to see if i can't bump up his reading and simple math skills. he's going into third grade and he can barely read or do basic math. he's had quite a few bumps in his school path, and he all but begged me to keep him home this year.
pepper
I tried, little would not stop whining, ye gads it was hellerish. There's a lot of support out there if you do want to give it a go though. Wish I could do it with both of mine, I am dismayed regularly with the scene at public school. It's unbelievable sometimes.
archegonia
so i slept with both of my children. my parents generation thinks its the worst thing you can do. i chose to because i had read a lot about it. in countries where they sleep with there children they have never even heard of SIDS. so i was in. i discovered with my first that a year is too late to expect them to transition smoothly to the crib and swore that with my second i'd transition her at 6 months. well when she was 6 months i was basically homeless from my divorce and staying with the (generous and loving) family of a friend.

its been a turbulent year and my 2.5 year old has regressed from the bedtime routine we finally laid out. my one year old is a force to be reckoned with and does not like sleeping without mamma at all. so i lie between the two of them in a kick ass car bed every night and it takes forever. then they're up all night.

so i decided to commit to 4 days of letting them 'cry it out'. the most unintuitive, unnatural thing to do. EVER. if they dont chill out after 4 days i'll change it all. but to what? i cannot do what i was doing. and if these 4 nights of hell dont yield something less hellish then....

any advice?
a
julie124
archegonia, yikes! That sounds tough. I am currently dealing with my own child sleep issues (8.5-month-old Henry is basically waking up every two hours at night and insists on nursing almost every time...) so I don't know that I'm a good one for advice, but I can recommend the book I've been using to help me, The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. They have some good stuff in there for transitioning kids from cosleeping that might be helpful for you.

And in that vein...any ideas for helping me break the boob addiction? I mean, I'm planning to nurse at least until he's a year, so I'm not trying to give up nursing altogether, I just want to get maybe four hours of sleep in a row again and give my nipples a break. I used to be able to do some quick comforting and he would go back to sleep...now a lot of times when he wakes up he writhes around and won't be comforted by anything but the boob. He does have a lot of stuff going on....he's on solids part of the time now, is pulling up on things, and just got two more teeth...so maybe it's partly a developmental thing? I don't know, I got nothin'. Oh, and I already decided I'm not a cry-it-out kind of gal, which of course complicates things.
archegonia
a lot of kids go through some heavy stuff when they start pulling themselves up on things. their whole world expands vertically. like adding another dimension and its suspected that they get a lot of nightmares or even trippy dreams at this time. so maybe its just a phase as he goes through this, he needs some grounding in the night. i know that doesn't help you get sleep but maybe thinking its just a short time will make it more bearable.

thanks for the book recommendation. i'll check it out. my 2.5 year old is doing really well, not crying just chilling 'til he falls asleep. my 1 year old diva is not giving up the fight. lol, sigh.
koffeewitch
Hey mamas, I'm having a problem with my older son (he just turned 7 this month) and I'm really worried about him. He is suddenly displaying all this OCD behavior, sometimes on a constant basis. He repeats certain words continually, like a mantra. This all started after he spent a month with his grandparents (his dad's parents, not mine). I don't like my kids to be with the grandparents for long periods of time because they bicker and fight on a non-stop daily basis. I hate going to their house because all the accusive, passive-aggressive, insidious, back-biting spats that go on between them...and of course, they sometimes take their issues out on innocent bystanders, too. My MIL had kindly bought Ryan a months worth of swimming lessons for a b-day present, so she would pick him up in the morning, but then, instead of bringing him right home, she would keep him all day. I complained about this, telling her I needed him home for our homeschooling schedule, but she sort of blew me off. THEN, my partner/Ryan's dad got sick and had to be hospitalized (Crohn's disease). I started spending all day in the hospital, so my MIL had an "excuse" to keep Ryan at her house.

Now that Daddy is back at home and swim lessons are over, I feel like my son has been damaged during that time spent with his grandparents. He is fearful and anxious now, instead of his usual super-extroverted, happy-go-lucky self. I haven't pointed out his OCD behaviors to him...I don't want him to feel like he is doing something bad, and I'm worried that if he sees that he can't control his repetative behavior he may really freak out and get even more anxious. I, too, had nervous ticks, etc. when I was a kid, but I was being sexually molested for years on top of being afraid of my father's horrible temper. It hurts me terribly to see my own child show these same symptoms that indicate he has too much stress in his life. I am slowly trying things like lots of positive reinforcement, yoga, guided meditations, art therapy, etc. If nothing improves in the next few weeks, I may contact a professional for counseling. I really don't want a counsellor who will just want to medicate him, when I can see an obvious enviromental cause for his anxiety. I've even considered trying Bach's remedies even if it just gives him a placebo effect. Does anyone have any suggestion/input on this? Sorry to drop this on you guys, it's some pretty heavy shit, but it is really tearing me up to see him this way.
damona
koffee, i would say to just give him as much love and attention as you can. i would also keep him away from the grandparents as much as possible for awhile. if he's really doing it a lot i would ask him about it gently. like if he's repeating a word over and over just kinda say "hey, buddy, i noticed that you keep saying this word. do you like how it sounds? does it make you feel good to say it over and over?" i wouldn't medicate him or anything, even bach's, unless he has trouble sleeping. i understand that this concerns you, especially given your background, but in my experience, little kids are pretty good at working these kinds of things out themselves, as long as they're removed from whatever influence was setting them off. i would just let him do his thing and keep an eye on him. *hugs* mama, it's tough, i know.
koffeewitch
I think that is fantastic advice, damona...you've managed to find just the right words and tone that I've been looking for to bring up the issue in a gentle/non-threatening manner.
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