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bklynhermit
i'm still like that, damona! for a month straight this winter, all i wanted to eat was turkey, apple, and cheese sandwiches. now i'm on a black bean quesadilla kick. i'm with tart that he could be doing a lot worse. either he'll get over it, or that he's just a food weirdo like me...
pervenche
damona, frances IS brilliant. i've had the one-food-only thing happen with a younger child (3ish) and always found that feigned indifference/reverse psychology (as frances's parents show her by serving her ONLY bread and jam) worked the best. i think in many cases this kind of food preference serves as a way to differentiate oneself/articulate preference, in addition to being comforting and familiar. hope he moves on soon...

hurrah for sleep, tart! it ebbs and flows...enjoy the flow! i was up in the wee hours with my son...he starts sleepcrawling and then gets stuck in awkward positions and we have to right him.
moxiegirl
perv my love- I too hate the gender assignment clothes and toys and subtle role placemenents for the very same reason you do...bi-racial in wasp land. We should have a PM over this!

tart- how's tartlette's belly? I hope he's starting to feel better. onl6y 2 feedings! Lucky lassie! Then again, we had the blessing of 6 straight hours night before last! Last night, back to 4 hour blocks, but I'll take it! And, my girl smiled at her daddy for the first time today! I got smiles last week, but I'm home all day. I got teary.
pervenche
yes, mox, we should do that (although i am a pm novice). i've got interviews this week, so this is a drive-by, but for all you mamas who might be interested, a really good book on bi/multiracial kids is "does anybody else look like me?" by donna jackson nakazawa. i wish my parents had had it...
moxiegirl
Hey, did any of you have breakthrough bleeding issues when either: A. first month back on BCP and/or first week after post-baby HBI? The nurse sounded perfectly calm about it when I called, but me being me, I worry anyway. I'm gonna xpost in the BCP thread. kisses all!

And perv- I'm gonna get that book as a new-baby gift for my nephew to be- hal;f indian, half whitey in Mormon land. Kid's gonna need it. Thanks!
bustygirl
Well, I thought I'd pop in for a little update: little Eddie is 9 months old now, and he's pulling up to a standing position and cruising like you wouldn't believe. And, he's into EVERYTHING.

We sorta fixed the not-sleeping thing by cutting down his naps. Now he either wakes up once or not at all.
noof
Happy Momma's Day to Bustymoms, the fabbest moms ever!
chani
Thanks - right back at ya, Noof! I'm picking up my brand spankin' new running stroller today - something nice for me and Chanibaby.
Hope everyone has a great day full of warm fuzzy memories.
tart
Happy Mama's Day, indeed! I got pancakes for breakfast and Delicatessen on DVD, and a beautifully placid boy all day today...

Tartlet's much better, thanks Moxie. We've put him on a low dose of Zantac, which seems to be getting to the heart(burn) of the matter - hardly any wet, sour burps today, and only 1 meltdown this afternoon, caused as much by overstimulation as by belly issues. I got a proper sling from a neighbor today, so we're going to try that out this week around the house - it's just so big! I feel like he's going to disappear in the yards & yards of fabric...

I think I'm going to treat myself to a beer tonight - oh yeah, livin' wild, baby.
chani
dammit! Chanibaby has weaned himself and I could freely drink again, except I have to study for this *$^% exam! A glass of wine at dinner leaves me under the table now so I'll just have to keep counting down - 14 days!
In lieu of wine I am devouring a bowl of Ben&Jerrys as I study. Wish me luck Mamas! If I fail this I have to waste another year of our life studying!
tyger
happy mother's day!

nothing else but yams for supper (or something like that) might also be a good book for the 'i only eat one thing' children. i, of course, am biased because i used to babysit for the woman who wrote it. (gosh, i can't remember her name, but her books were really great.)
pervenche
yes, happy mother's day to you all.
chani, i can't believe chanibaby has weaned himself. Were there any signs? Or was he just not into it any more? My boy shows no signs of stopping (which is fine, as i want to finish out at least a year). hope your test goes well...at least you can now enjoy tanking up on caffeine (personally, during exam periods i like to enjoy coffee and diet coke, which i won't do to nearly the extreme while bfing).
another question for the mamas: where do you find a playgroup? we definitely need some other kids around...i've answered ads on CL but they're always about moms connecting rather than kids connecting, and that's not what i want...also, we were denied entrance to the library story time yesterday for unspecified reasons (i THINK it's because he's a little young, but they didn't make that at all clear, so maybe they just didn't like the shape of my nose), so options are seeming narrow...
farmgirl
Some drive-by love for the mamas! I miss youse!

Thanks, pervenche, for the Nakazawa recommendation. I'm Chicana & the Mr. is Japanese-American, and we're in a VERY homogeneous town. I think that book will come in handy.

I'm also not a fan of the race & gender stereotypes inherent in most Disney movies.

We do love Hiyao Miyazaki, though. Totoro & Kiki are perennial favorites. To quote tot1, "Hiyao Miyazaki is my favorite filmmaker."

pervenche, Re: a playgroup, does your town have a parks & rec? I had pretty good success with the classes offered by ours. They had a limited selection for the little ones, but they always had one or two "Mommy & me" type classes that were good for the tots. I never connected with any of the other parents, but the tots always had fun.
pervenche
we miss you too, farmgirl - good luck with the work you're doing.

parks and rec is a very good idea. i will check it out. and as for the book - your kids will thank you. you might even recommend it to teachers and/or relatives...i wish wish wish my parents had had it when they were raising us. as it is, i'm making them read it now so they can understand interchanges like the following:

well-meaning young babysitter (at my cousin's house, caring for her one-year-old): wow, your son's eyes are blue! how weird!

me (feeling very asian suddenly): yes, his hair is blond too. he seems to be taking after his father.

babysitter: wow! blue eyes! he's just like "memoirs of a geisha"! have you seen "memoirs of a geisha"?

thank you, well-meaning young babysitter, for reminding me of the horrors visited upon japanese and korean women by american gis who left nothing but their dna and the trauma they inflicted behind...
chani
Pervenche: The Ontario government has a public health branch that runs drop-in centres for parents. They have all sorts of programs and it's a great place to meet local moms. I don't know if your city has something similar?
Remember that I've been back at work for almost 3 months now and I work 24 hour shifts. Chanibaby didn't have much choice about making the switch to bottle, and once he was used to the Stage 4 nipple he would fuss when I put him to the breast and didn't letdown right away, especially since my milk supply was decreasing.
In 4 more months I will be done this crazy job forever and home with my little one. I can't wait!!!!!
farmgirl
pervenche, Oh, ick. I really hate that stuff. That reminds me of an exchange I had with a woman my mother hired to clean my house right after tot3 was born:

Woman (noticing photo of the Mr. on the wall): Oh, is your husband teaching the children his language?

Me: English?

Her: No, ~his~ language.

Me: That would be English. He was born in SoCal, his parents were born in SoCal, his grandparents were born in NoCal. They all speak English. Only English.

Her (refusing to drop it): No, I mean is he teaching them ~his own~ language, the language he speaks?

Me (walking away): Well, he speaks some German and some French, but he's not teaching them those.

Crimeny! What is WITH people? This was at about the same time that a neighbor told the Mr. that he "talks English real good." **eyeroll** So, yeah, that book will be much appreciated by the farm-family, as well! Thanks again!

(((chani))) Best of luck to you on your test!!
pervenche
farmgirl: truly horrifying. ok, this is derailing the thread a little, but when i had my first (college teaching) job, a student said to me, "when I close my eyes, you sound just like a real English teacher."
go, america! we've come a long way! sort of!
farmgirl
pervenche, That's just too much. Yeah, we've come such a LONG way... Ungh. I've become the de facto "brown people's cop" at school lately, and it's really wearing me down. Well, I guess we can just work to make sure our kids are better prepared than we were....

/derail
sesame
Hi mamas, sorry to invite myself to the party a couple of weeks back and then disappear. This thread isn't where I think it would be and I forget to check it. I hope you all had a lovely Mother's Day!

My little guy gave me the best Mother's Day gift ever. I was lying down with him before his nap. He was lying there in the crook of my arm with his head on my shoulder, looking up at me and touching my face with his little pointer finger (he's very into pointing right now.) I was telling him each thing as he pointed at it: eye, nose, mouth, cheek. Then he stopped pointing and looked right into my eyes, and I said, "Hi baby, it's mama." He looked at me for a second and said, "Mama." He's been saying "ma," "ba," and "da" in various combinations for several weeks, but that's the first time I think he really made the connection. It brought a little tear to my eye, it was so sweet. :-)

I've got a question too. How have any of you gone about finding a babysitter you trust if you haven't got family or close friends nearby? Our nearest family members are almost an hour away - too far for the occasional night out. Now that I'm a parent, I can't believe I babysat when I was in highschool - I didn't know ANYTHING and I guess I'm just lucky nothing terrible ever happened on my watch!
pervenche
aw, sesame, that is sweet.

we found a babysitter on craigslist. it was sort of nervewracking, but i interviewed her thorougly, checked references, and felt that her profession & age (she was a chiropractic student and 25) indicated someone healthy and interested in caring for a person. we're also trying to set up a babysitting exchange with some friends (go over after the kid is asleep - the SBVC - sleeping baby vigil cooperative - is what it'll be called).
but it ain't easy.
sesame
Pervenche, thanks for the Craigslist tip. I went on there and actually found a link to another site, Sittercity.

I haven't signed up yet, still researching, but it looks legit and there were several sitters listed in my area. Thought I'd let you all know in case anyone else is in the same boat.
moxiegirl
Hi mamas,

I hope everyone did have a great mother's day! My great gift was a break from mi-night feedings for the weekend! Anyway, this is seriously the stupidest stupid-new-mom question ever, but I ask anyway. The baby book we have (Baby 411) gives a guideline for how much formula babies "should average" at different age ranges. at 2 months (moxette is 7.5 weeks) its about 28-30 oz per day. Kid ate 37 oz yesterday, and while a little more than normal, its pretty typical. Is eating TOO MUCH possible at this age? I know I know the answer to that already, but reassurance would be great.

I start back to work monday, and I[m both excited and nervous as hell. I miss my moxette already. Gah. Any suggestions on how to cope with that? At least her aunt and her grandma are our childcare for the first month.
margot
Hello.
Sesame, I moved to a new country and just found a babysitter. I advertised in the language school. I invited a woman round and relied on my instincts as to whether she was ok or not. I did take a copy of her passport though, as a precaution. I didn't check references, as I have faked my own on many occasions.
I also think it's worth asking around, neighbours, local traders etc.
We moved to a small town last year, and someone who worked with my husband sorted us out with his niece, who was lovely, and fully trained as a nursery nurse!
Good luck. A few hours to myself is well worth the money!
pervenche
moxie! congratulations on going back to work. it will be tough at first, but it's great that your relatives are babysitting.
and NO, it is NOT POSSIBLE for moxette to eat too much at this age. wait until she's two or three to worry about that...or older. she sounds like she's doing great.
moxiegirl
Oh, so yeah, I met with my dad today (he's my boss also), and MAN, I can't wait to get back to work. Its kinda sucky at the office right now, but I tend to do my best work unravelling fuck-up situations.

OK, gonna go get a last nappie in before mid-day naps are a thing of the past. kisses!
margot
Hello Mommas.
Any advice on potty training please? My 2 yr old daughter tells me when she's wee-ing as well as poo-ing now, so I thought I'd give it a go. She's got her own loo, with a clip-on seat. I got it a few days ago, and so far have shown it to her and put her on it a couple times a day. She likes it, as she shows visitors, but I don't really know where to go from here?
pervenche
hey mox, how's work going?

i am also interested to hear potty training advice. i hope to start soon (my son is 9 mos.) because i'm of the school of thought that doing it in the year between 1-2 helps avoid the terrible twos 'testing boundaries slash doing the opposite of whatever you say' thing...but anyway, interested to hear stories from the field...
farmgirl
In my experience, we don't do much "training" other than providing the venue and the example. The tot has to take it from there when he or she is ready on **his or her** schedule.

With tot1, I tried ~everything~ (within reason, of course) to convince him to use the toilet. We had every potty on the market--including the one that sings when you make a deposit. He showed all signs of being "ready" according to the books, but he just refused to poop in any sort of toilet. He would pee there, but refused to poop anywhere but in a diaper. It was to the point where he was wearing underpants all day & would ask, "farmgirl, would you please put a diaper on me so I can poop?" (I kid you not) Finally, when I was just about ready to pull my hair out, he woke up one morning, used the toilet, WASHED HIS HANDS, and has never done anything differently since. With tots 2 & 3, I just let them decide when/how to be "trained." A potty was available, & I always left the door open when I went (still do, actually). Tot 2 didn't really care where she pooped, and took her time deciding to use the toilet. Tot3, who had the absolute least amount of encouragement from me was the one who decided at the youngest age that the toilet was a good place to relieve herself.

The moral? Provide the venue and the example, & let the tot take it from there. And, don't drive yourself crazy if it doesn't happen when you think it should. It will happen. Rare is the child who reaches school age still in a diaper. :-)

ETA: margot, It sounds like you're doing great!

pervenche, I've found the 4s to be much more "terrible" than the twos. There's the boundary testing combined with the knowledge that they don't really have to do what you say and the added language & cognitive skills to be more creatively defiant. 2-year-old testing is so much more predictable! :-)
voodoo_princess
I have a question about feeding young babies ie. 4 - 5 monthes old.....
How many times per day "should" a baby this age eat? be it formula / babyfood / cereal... whatever..... I know things differ with each baby but I keep a little girl who is almost 5 monthes old and I have had her on a feeding schedule, at my house, that consists of the following

4 oz formula and serving of cereal @ 6AM (or just an 8 oz formula if not interested in cereal)

8 oz formula @ 10 AM (she gets hungry about this time)

4 oz formula and 1/2 to 3/4 container baby food vegetable @ 2 PM

this schedule was based on the mummy's previous requests and the baby's Dr.'s opinions..... and a little input from me.... mummy is only 18 and has never taken care of a baby, ever.....

The baby goes home at 3PM and I'm not too sure of the feeding schedule, if any, they have there.

Well, here is the issue..... mummy and her family now seem to think that a baby her age should only eat 3 times in a 24 hour period so they want me to not feed her as much and make her wait longer between feedings and are sending less food with her so I really have no choice but to NOT feed her on the schedule she is used to.... this baby is HUNGRY and freaks out when not fed according to schedule (the 6/10/2 schedule)..... mummy and family are doing this because they say "if she eats at 2, that means we give her dinner at 6 and that's just TOO LATE to be eating....." they want to have her eat at like 6AM then 12NOON then 4PM or 5PM and not eat anything again until 6 the next morning (they think this will make her sleep all night???? huh????)..... is this how babies are fed now? My children are older and were breast fed but I do recall them eating MORE than 3 times in 24 hours! The other baby I keep is 6 monthes old and he eats EVERY 4 HOURS at my house and is doing splendidly..... he has 6 oz formula unless he's having cereal or baby food and then he has 4 oz.... his mummy feeds him even more frequently, I believe, like every 3 hours! Whatever, I mean he's happy and not freaking out from hunger like this other baby.... anyone have an opinion or some useful info for me? I would be so happy for the feedback!
pervenche
voodoo princess,
they are crazy! it sounds like you need to figure out a way to educate them...a baby that age will definitely need to eat around every four hours, and deliberately not feeding your baby enough will not only make the baby wake up MORE at night crying, but is abusive behavior. i hope you can convince them to change their attitude. here's what i found on amount of formula consumed:

The American Academy of Pediatrics, in the book Your Baby's First Year, also provides a nice guideline and suggests that 'on average, your baby should take in about 2 1/2 ounces of formula a day for every pound of body weight.' So for an average 3 month old baby who weighs 13 pounds, that would be about 32 1/2 ounces a day.

The AAP also states that 'most babies are satisfied with 3 to 4 ounces per feeding during the first month, and increase that amount by 1 ounce per month until reach 8 ounces.'

Keep in mind that these are still averages though, and some babies require more or less formula at each feeding and on each day. If your baby seems satisfied between feedings and is gaining weight normally, then he is likely eating enough.

If your baby is consistently eating more or less than these averages though, you might see your Pediatrician and make sure that you are recognizing your baby's hunger signals and that he is gaining weight normally.

ALL the authorities agree that babies this age should be fed when they are hungry and that it is unlikely they can go more than four-five hours at a stretch. it's usual to wake up at least once too...
and at that age they're not really getting any nutrition from solids, either, so it sounds like those people need to get real and stop trying to starve their baby.

you might impress upon them that they'll just make the night wakings worse with this starvation plan. maybe you should call their pediatrician and have her/him talk to them. and depending on your feeling about them as parents as a whole (it sounds like you don't have a ton of confidence) i'd consider taking other steps - if CPS can come out when britney drops her kid, they certainly can come out to keep this kid from constantly going hungry. you could certainly call and ask their opinion. i think you might have an ethical responsibility to feed the baby more than they recommend so that she isn't neglected in your care...
i realise involving authorities is a drastic step. but making a baby go hungry is just cruel. and you may be the only person in a position to help this baby get fed. good luck-
voodoo_princess
pervenche - I hate to say it but I think their pediatrician is part of the problem too! They come here telling me all these crazy ideas that the ped. has on feedings and sleeping etc..... like the ped, said for them NOT to feed the baby if she woke up at night hungry because this would set in motion a "behavior" that could last well into year 2 or so..... WTF???? According to him, the waking up in the night is a learned behavior and NOT because she's little and hungry and they need to nip it in the bud right now! That is INSANE, no? He says she will continue to wake at night even at 1 and 2 years old because they are feeding her NOW at say, 2 AM, when she wakes hungry..... Can you follow this line of reasoning? I certainly can not! They have decided to give her water when she wakes at night now..... Um, hello? how is drinking water any better than drinking formula? Drinking is drinking, no? So if they are gonna give her something, why not formula? I just can not get my head around this line of reasoning.....
pervenche
i am so sorry. i just edited my post with some information about feeding i found. yes, their ped sounds crazy. you might try to figure out what kind of tactic will convince them most efficiently and take it (concerned provider, experienced mom, etc). you might also undermine their confidence in the ped by pointing out that she is still waking up crying and she will get underweight if they keep this up.
ugh.
seriously, i think this sounds abusive.

my son is nine months old. he woke once a night until six months to eat. i always fed him when he was hungry. he now sleeps through the night and has since six months (with an occasional relapse). this a natural development...if this kid wants her daughter to be chronically undernourished and CRY ALL THE TIME (maybe that's the tactic that will convince her: if you don't want to hear crying, feed your child), then she should keep on not feeding her. otherwise, she should at least be aware of the amount of food the baby needs (i'd bet the current ped isn't advocating the starvation part of the diet, just the draconian scheduling).
god.
this makes me so mad. tell me where that poor baby's family is and i will personally go punch their ignorant, high-handed, controlling physician in the face.

maybe also turn the mom on to some boards, not this one obviously, but babywhisperer.com for example, that will give averages about food consumption and also not advocate depriving the kid?
voodoo_princess
Thanks for the info and advice..... these people are just driving me nuts..... like I said, I can't even begin the fathom the "logic?" behind their thinking..... and what makes me really MAD is that every morning I have an VERY VERY hungry, VERY hysterical baby dumped at my door and I'm supposed to just drop everything and rush a feeding cause this baby is way way way freaking out! I don't think it's fair to the baby or to me.....
I think I'm just gonna feed this baby they way I think she needs to be fed and when they ask me about her eating schedule, I'm gonna let them think she's on that CRAZY schedule they want her on..... it's fine with me if they "think" their schedule is working..... I'll know better and the baby will be satisfied.....
pervenche
having a hysterical baby dropped at your door sounds like no fun at all. but i'd be cautious about lying...you might want to just tell them you're going to feed the baby when she's hungry and it's too disruptive for your daycare to have a crying, hysterical baby just to conform to their schedule. i doubt very much they'd find other care, esp. if you phrase it gently - good childcare is hard to find and i'd bet most people would similarly refuse to accomodate their craziness.
pervenche
on a happier note, thanks as always for your experience, farmgirl. i agree absolutely that you can't really 'train' kids - just make them aware of the options, encourage, etc. (lest anyone think i'll be screaming at a nine-month old to USE THE POTTY...). i babysit quite a few kids who wanted to/were ready to be potty trained but whose parents thought it was 'too early' because the books say 2-3 is a good age...so i want my kid to be aware of his options early. (besides, he loves the book "caillou: potty time" and has for months. weird.)
farmgirl
voodoo, That's insane. Little babies have little bellies and need to eat often. I agree with pervenche about the lying, too. I'd just go with the "your schedule doesn't work here"-type answer.

pervenche, Oh, I didn't think you'd be doing that! I totally agree with you. Tot1 walked at 10 mos. & showed an interest in the potty from that time. I think that was part of why I ended up so frustrated--he showed every indication of being ready and able very early, but just wasn't. It ended up being over a year of me thinking he was "ready," and him not agreeing. It was so much easier with tots 2 & 3 when I just let go & let it happen (gee, that sounds like my message on a lot of issues, doesn't it? :-)).
pervenche
farmgirl, if people (especially people like me who want to organise/diagnose/order everything, and even more people like voodoo's clients, who not only want to organise everything, but ARE DIPSHITS :-)) would just listen to your message, all would be right with the world.
voodoo_princess
ok... I called WIC and talked to the nutritionist there and she almost had a coronary when I told her about the "3 meal a day plan" for baby girl...... she says baby girl is supposed to eat EVERY 3 to 4 hours, NOT have babyfood yet AND only have cereal ONCE per day to avoid constipation.... sounds good to me! I know sometimes you have to take what WIC says with a grain of salt, they are after all a government agency BUT their plan sounds a whole lot better than the "3 meals a day plan"..... right now baby girl is sooooo hungry and I have no formula or anything to give her..... she had a HUGE amount of cereal made with 2oz formula and some water and about 6 oz of formula at 6AM this morning (because I knew I wouldn't have enough for her to eat 3 times today so I wanted to make her meals count) and then they told me to wait till 12noon or so for her lunch, so I did 1 WHOLE container of Squash and all of the formula I had left, which was only 4 oz at 12:30...... (the mummy gave me an 8oz bottle with formula and a 4oz bottle with formula this morning..... so I don't fix the bottles myself)
She used to eat in the afternoon too and I'm afraid that having to spread out her feedings so far today has really messed her up and she is HUNGRY!!!!!! All I had for her though was what her mummy showed up with this morning and I feel soooo bad right now plus she's here just screaming and wailing and chewing on her fists..... When she saw the bottle I made for little boy's afternoon feeding she totally flipped out and thought it was for her, like her eyes got all big and she started doing that whole open mouth fishy face look..... I feel rotten......
pervenche
voodoo,
you've got to find a way to feed that baby. and to make sure her parents feed her as well. threaten, whatever. i'm so sorry, as i know it's AWFUL for you. but it's worse for her. (((voodoo)))
pervenche
and-
they're abusing their baby and they're abusing you. if they won't change their "feeding" plan please consider reporting them to child protection. they sound like they have NO clue. and if the physician is SERIOUSLY advocating that she be fed so little, i think the board would have something to say about that. or if he's part of an HMO, call the office and have them bitch him out. make a stink. i know it seems extreme and it shouldn't be your job, but this poor child needs someone to help her.

i looked it up and this qualifies as child neglect (not providing for physical needs) which is classified as abuse. in many states anyone who suspects neglect or abuse (e.g. caregivers) has a legal obligation to report it. maybe you could sit them down and talk to them tonight...

seriously, i know this is a huge pain in your butt, but i'm so worried about that baby girl right now. all she wants is to get enough to eat.
voodoo_princess
ok.... I just had a long talk with her mummy and she looked pretty blown away when I got done but I think I got the point across! I sent mum on her way, she had errands to do, and I kept baby girl and she is happily having a formula bottle right now! (i borrowed some of little boy's formula powder) Mum will be back in a little bit and baby girl will be full and happy. I basically told mum that she was getting caught up in too much BAD information and what it all comes down to is SHE needs to decide what is best for HER baby and SHE needs to feed baby girl when baby girl is hungry! NOT just when the doctor or WIC or gramma says to...... I told her that feeding baby girl when she is hungry is NOT going to do any damage now or down the road..... I told her SCREW THE BS SCHEDULE if the BS schedule is what's got baby girl soooooo hungry! I personally think people are way to into SCHEDULING everything and making EVERYTHING fit neatly into their lives...... the decision to have a baby also means the decision to make some life altering changes in ones self and ones way of doing things..... that's just my opinion tho, so.....
Anyway, baby girl is eating now so I am happy and she is happy......
pervenche
hooray!
that mom is lucky she has you.
and so is the baby.
(but if, in the future, you ever need me to punch anyone in the face, my offer stands. it really gets to me when people don't take proper care of their kids (food, for example).)
luludoll123
Hey all - it's been a while. My babe is now a tot and I'm back at work. Incredibly stressful - not the work, not the tot but combining the two. I feel like I'm turning into a resentful nasty bitch constantly wishing for where I'm not - when I'm at work I want to be with my son and when I'm with him I'm wishing I could have time to myself. I don't know that I knew it would be this stressful. Especially right now the daycare lady is sick so I'm trying to work from home. Has anyone read "The Bitch in the House" - I feel like I'm channelling many of those writers! Any advice for how to destress and handle the back to work blue would be appreciated.
moxiegirl
Can I chip in? We're just now talking with our ped about moxette's eating/sleeping habits (she's 9 weeks, eating 30-34 oz a day). He gave us the go-ahead to start weaning her from night feedings, with the clear piece of advice NOT to do that until she gets routinely the 30-34 oz during the day. If her nutiritional needs are met, we can go hard-core and let her cry a couple nights in a row. (she only wakes 1 time in night to eat now) The primary focus, though, still must be on her getting her nutritional needs met, as she grows,etc. He also told us to work up to this over a month or two.

As to schedule, we've figured its about every 2.5-3 hours that she's hungry, so we feed her then. The only schedule per-se that we have is bath/bedtime at 9pm-whenever she falls asleep.

So, i guess the short and long of it is a 5 month old could probably be ok with not eating at night, so long as he/she gets everything he/she needs during the day.

WOrk? Its ok...I miss moxette like crazy during the day, but I also really enjoy mental stimulation. So, I guess its just an adjustment.
tart
Wow, Mox, that seems so early to wean from night feedings! Let us know how that goes...

Tartlet had a big fussy growth spurt this week, but the payoff is so worth the few days of nonstop feeding & screaming (I can say that now - at the time, I thought I was going to go batshit). He's all chirpy & cooing and really engaging, and "exercising" (aka, thrashing about like a madman) lots during the day. We've found a possible magic bullet to get him to sleep at night, feeding and then bunching him up on my chest, bean-style until he's sacked. He sleeps much more soundly that way, and usually stays sacked even after we put him in the crib...

On a related note, I'd like to voice my opinion on the standard 6 week maternity leave - bull fucking shit. If I had to go back to work today, I know one mama and one baby who would both be in very dire straits. I certainly couldn't keep him on breastmilk only - there's no way I could pump enough to keep up with the every-2-hours feeding. And he's just now coming out of the fussy blob stage and really getting a personality - I would be heartbroken to be missing this. (Note: this is in no way a value judgement on those of you who did go back to work at 6 weeks - you do what is best for your situation. I'm just pointing out the obvious - the US's staggering lack of support for families in the workplace...) /soapbox

And big fat props to Voodoo for looking out for a very very hungry baby - I'm glad Mom listened to reason...
moxiegirl
Oh, i was out for 8 weeks, and it just about killed me coming back. I can't imagine only having 6 weeks to recover from birth, recover from the emotional shock of new parenting, and leaving a helpess little newborn in the care of a stranger.

And the night-weaning--I know its early, but she's eating like a hoss, seriously, and if she won't suffer and we can get a full night's sleep- we all win. Oh the bean...its miss moxette's favorite afternoon nap pose. I just the 2 days before coming back to work got her to nap in her swing. Whatever works, right?!? Wasn't it our awesome farmgirl who said "the most sleep for the most people..."

Also, let me HIGHLY reccomend the ocean wonder's crib aquarium thing. Maybe its b/c moxette is a little more alert now than a couple weeks ago, but she's fascianted by it, and the music is a friggin tranquilizer. Goddess bless Fisher Price.

Tart- when are you going back? Are you?
pervenche
yeah, tart and moxie, six weeks is not long enough. i think twelve should be standard. california has a good act on this and the national family health and medical leave act can help too. me, i went back to work at six weeks, but i teach so i was able to work at home a bunch. if i have another, i'm going to try to time it so i have maternity leave PLUS summer vacation...
tart
Yeah, I'm going back, but after a whopping 12 weeks leave - we discussed my staying at home, and have it in the potential cards for this time next year. Right now, we're focusing on saving money in preparation for moving and buying a house...

The folks-in-law are in town, so I'm sneaking out today for an aromatherapy spa bath, and we're all going out for Ethiopian tonight - how civilised! Good thing, 'cause it's hot as balls here and Mama's a bit o' crankypants...
moxiegirl
Oh god, I just had the single stupidest thing in the world said to me. I was talking to a colleage, who was asking about the baby. I said something to the effect of being back at work, and she said "oh, no one's with the baby?" WTF? Not "what are you doing..." or "who's watching..."..she's an ESL person,but still. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or scream.
tart
Uhhh, wow. "Nope, I just put her in a big cardboard box on the kitchen table. I figure the cat's at home, so she's not technically alone..." People are weird.

Moo. I'm feeling very much the bovine mama today - Tartlet's feeding schedule is getting out of hand. The kid wants to eat every 2-2.5 hours, and takes a good 30-45 minutes on the boob each time. Oy. I realise he's tiny, and tends toward the gourmand style of leisurely eating, but does this sound excessive at all to anyone? The doc said I can keep feeding him at this rate "as long as you can stand it". I'm not there yet, but I'm thinking the end of my rope is at least on the horizon. Formula supplements are sounding really good today, and I'm trying to not feel like a bad mama for thinking this way. Anyone else got a marathon eater? How did you handle the nonstop boobathons?
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