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moxiegirl
hi pugs! welcome, and feel free to ask us questions anytime! Most of us were unsure, unplanned or both before we became parents, and some of us still have doubts. Its normal, healthy and a big part of parenting! I'd caution you, though, against having too many "set" notions about labor and BF-plan, try, work hard, but be ready for the unexpected. And be prepared to know that the unexpected doesn't mean failure at all. Oh, and for the first few weeks, diapers, bottles and a boob (not in that order!) are about all the kid needs anyway...so you're well on your way! RU TTC right now? If so, GOOD LUCK!

Moxette did a GREAT job of self soothing last night! like clockwork, 3:10 AM...WAH! Then, babble for about 20 minutes and zzzz....until 5:30 for a bottle. GOOD GIRL!

OK, another question (btw, thanks gren for the reassurance!),...we're starting her on finger-table foods...any big "hits" for the 1-tooth set? So far, we've got scrambled eggs (to limited success), frozen waffel, orange slices (huge hit) and a frenchfry or two. Those were at Grandma's house. smile.gif
tart
Heya, Pugs, welcome! And thanks for the love - mothering can be a lonely, thankless endeavor at times, and having such great women as a support network makes all the difference... I fit makes you feel better, you're ahead of where I was when Tartlet was born - my very first diaper change ever was in the hospital! Mox is right on, as usual - a birth plan is just that, a plan. Do your research, get ideas, but remember that so much can change in an instant. I have several instances where my pre-baby plans and post-baby decisions are vastly different, and we're a happier family for it...

Another magic night for the April babies, I see! Tartlet was so sweet last night - he was crawling around on the floor, getting a bit of play in before we started bedtime. He sat down, sighed, and crept over to the low shelf with all his bedtime books, looked up at me & yawned. I guess someone was ready for bed! A tiny wake-up at 2ish, and he was sound asleep when I went to get him at 5:30! Is it bad that I'm simultaneously loving this & holding my breath for it all to go pear-shaped again?...

Our neighbors back home had their baby boy last night & named him Finn... he has a swatch of carrot-red hair right in front, over his forehead, like a baby soul patch...
moxiegirl
Finn! Welcome! I think that's an awesome name for a boy or girl! I'm in the same boat, tart...just waiting for a shoe to drop. Its gotta be training like the dogs and bells...
chani
moxie - cboy still isn't sure about scrambled eggs, but looooves chuncks of french toast. Kiwi was an unexpected hit, and canned mandarin oranges! And, of course, cheerios!!
jasmine77
Gren- How did you get the babe off the shield? I've been using one since we left the hospital due to flat nipples and now the lil one doesn't seem to be able to latch without it. I think he's having trouble getting the nipple far enough into his little mouth. I'm getting really anxious that we'll be stuck always using it and it'll interfere with my milk supply. Any suggestions?
anoushh
I don't think it would interfere with your milk supply, but I'm no expert. Is there a La Leche league in your area? Also, many birthing services have lactation consultants that will help you out. Ours here were brilliant, including for the 3 am very tearful call.
tart
Hey, Jasmine (& any other BF ladies out there), have you checked out kellymom.com? They're pretty hardcore pro-BF, but if you ignore the occasional bouts of self-righteousness, they're a great resource. There's a whole bit on using/transitioning off of shields here...

Our daycare ladies seem to think Tartlet's starving to death - they're giving him extra solids all of a sudden. We send 4 icecubes worth of fruit & veg every day, and when I pick him up they frequently tell me about the avocado/banana/whatever that they gave him when the other kids were having snack. Normally I wouldn't care, but yesterday they gave him kiwi, which he'd never had before. Maybe I'm just allergy-paranoid (eggs? not til a year at least, says our doc), but I'd like to be the one introducing new foods at this point - if there's a reaction later in the day, I know exactly what was different in his diet. Besides, I found a kiwi seed stuck in a crevasse in his nose - if I didn't know they'd fed it to him, I'd be a little freaked out by the black mystery glob. I'll talk to them tonight when I go to pick him up... they're usually very understanding of my requests, so I'm not going in with guns a'blazing...

(another banner night... WTF?)

Wierd question: any babies freaked out by people blowing their noses? Tartlet goes into full panic mode, not useful this time of year when I'm a snot machine. We've tried the whole "see, watch me, it's nothing scary" bit, to no avail. That's my delicate bunny...
moxiegirl
no eggs, eh? Our doc said no dairy till 1 year, but eggs and meat now. Hm. Interesting the different perspectives. I'd be a bit freaked out too, tart, if she got food at school that she hadn't had at home. Although, i do get great ideas from the other moms...veggie burgers. they crumble, are chock full off good stuff, and fun to play with...is the report. Gonna go get some today. In return, i offered the advice on a wedge of orange...she LOVES it. Is tart doing finger foods yet? Moxette decided she only likes eggs if she can play with them first. OK says me.

We had an almost-banner night. she woke up a tad early in the morning for my taste...4:45...usually7 5:30. Not so bad in the scheme, though. Moxette isn't freaked out by noses...but by throat clearing. I think its the sudden sound.
tart
...and our doc said go dairy! (Full fat yoghurt & soft lower-salt cheeses) This confirms what I always suspected: they just make this shit up. No one knows anything. They just pick a pet theory & run with it.

We're doing puffs, soft fruit and cooked pasta for fingerfoods right now - squishy cheese cubes, teething biscuits & juice-only jello cubes are next on the roster...
moxiegirl
from our experience- forget the teething bisquets. They break and don't get mushy enough. Go with Wagon Wheels- basically the same thing as puffs, in wagon wheel shapes. Cooked Pasta. Brilliant! We're having pasta salad for dinner, too! I bet jello would be a great fun thing, too.
tart
We got the organic Earth's Best biccies, and they seem to dissolve a little faster than the other brands... I'll keep an eye out for chunks, though, thanks!

The pasta was my mum's idea - it kept Tartlet thoroughly entertained through a multi-course Christmas dinner. And the jello was a total lightning-bolt-from-the-gods idea - Knox + non-sugared juice = jigglers! Mmm, prune jello... tongue.gif
moxiegirl
yeah- i think some jigglers will be an overall fan favorite around here. something daddy and moxette can do together! smile.gif
pepper
wow, you girls are feeding stuff to your littles that i wouldn't let near my wee man's mouth until he was ancient. all the alternative healthy stuff i read lead me to beleive that dairy and eggs and meat and grains are all really very hard to digest and wee babes digestive system isn't even all that mature until after year one. all i gave him was booby (until he was 6 months) and fruit, i even waited on the starchy fruits like avo and banana until he was near a year. he gained weigh consistantly and didn't have any problems with poops or belly trouble.

just goes to show, different strokes. looks like all kinds of diets work, just pick the one that works for you...
moxiegirl
yep. we tried giving moxette yogurt and she got a horrible belly ache. I think that's what made our doc suggest we wait until 1 year for any more dairy. She hasn't had any trouble with the other things, though- we're introducing 1 new thing at a time, and going from there. No beef, pork or seafood, though. Just chicken and turkey for the meat. I'm horribly allergic to seafood, so she'll probably never get that at home...although i'll do some sort of test later in life. My SIL is pretty close to what you did, pep, and her son is just fine.

It IS all about knowing yourself , your kid and what you want to try out. She also ate a french fry at grandma's house...of course she loved it! Eh, spoilage at grandmas is what being a bebe is all about, right?
jasmine77
Tart- Thanks for the link! It looks like just what I need. Plus it makes me feel better that I don't need to be a nazi about stopping right away. He's getting enough to eat based on his diapers so we've got time.

We had a really rough night last night. Baby was up from 10pm to 3am and could not be put down. Plus, he fed every hour. I was at my wits end and ready to give up BF by the end of it. This AM I'm feeling a bit more positive but I'm not sure I can take many more nights like that one!
tart
(((Jasmine))) Don't worry, mama, this too shall pass... in time. He's still teenyweeny, and will sort himself out eventually. Just try to sleep when you can, and don't be too hard on yourself to get things accomplished. Nights like that, I would make myself good & comfy on the couch & set up a nice loooong movie in the dvd. Are you open to cosleeping? That saved my bacon on many, many occasions (still does, even at nearly 9 months). Keep us posted!
anoushh
Jasmine, just a few weeks ago when I was feeling the same way all these wonderful mamas told me the same thing. I had a hard time believing it, even though I trusted them and was desperate for it to be true. But Tart's right--it will get better.

In fact, I came in here to report that notbob slept for 4 hours last night! Asleep at 11:15 and awake at 3:22. He was up for an hour after that but when to sleep again until about 7, so pretty good.

I am not someone who copes well at all with sleep deprivation--I was way more worried about that than labor pain. But though I'm still tired and miss having had a full, uninterrupted night of sleep for the last 10 weeks, it's WAY better than it was just a short time ago. If it makes it any easier, I really think that giving him what he needed--ie, nearly constant holding--at first is part of what has made it easier now. Of course, he's also a bit older, which is part of it, too.

Also a polarfleece pouch has proved much easier to use than the Maya wrap and it's a great way to settle him down (sometimes he fusses a bit at first) and still have your hands free.
moxiegirl
my favorite sleep noise..."I PROTEST!!! WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME!!!zzzzz...." right now in fact. smile.gif
chani
Early on we ate lots of "baby mum mums"! they're in biscuit form, but dissolve super fast and are made of rice. We actually went to a 1st birthday party where there was a bowl of them on the buffet table for all the babelets.
moxiegirl
ha! that's awesome chani-and now i'm curious- you're indian, right? what part? we use the same word for baby food...mummum...wonder if we're from the same area or if its a common phrase. Hmmm...
chani
Nah, I'm a white girl. My hubby is Malayali (parents from Kerala, but born in Ontario) and the mummums are just from the Loblaws supermarket that all the suburbanites shop at!
tart
Slept! Through! The Night! Wooo!

(Mummums? We live near Little India - do tell!)
moxiegirl
does self soothing at the 2am wakeup count as sleeping through? If I didn't have to get up...hmmm...we have more teeth starting the push, so we're back to motrin city. Sigh.
tart
Hell yes, Mox - any night that I don't have to get out of bed til 4:30am counts, in my book.

Another bout of separation anxiety, it seems - after a nice, low key weekend, I suddenly can't step out of Tartlet's sight without a nuclear melt-down... (sigh) I try to be understanding & make with the reassuring talk & what not, but sometimes part of me just wants to take a p*ss without having to hold a summit first, ya know?

ETA: Oh yeah, and that jello-as-finger-food thing? I made some apple & apricot squares, gave one to Tartlet, and got the fuck-you stink eye... possibly the first time in his life he's not wanted to eat something. Ah well. Good thing Mama likes jello...
moxiegirl
ya, i know. boy-o do I know. I think its the going back to school...she got all used to us being around. She's turned into a SERIOUS daddy's girl, though. If we're both in the room, she'll smile at me, then go back to dad. Poor guy can't piss w/o a summit. Me, she needs cuddle naps with. The post-school snooze, gotta be with momma now. Comes and goes. I try to remind myself that its only for another 4 or 5 months for the rest of her life when she'll be able to snooze comfortably in my arms- so, i'm choosing to enjoy it. Its not causing naping problems at school or at night, so not a serious issue.

To break the seperation anxiety, we have made a point of leaving the room during playtime and calling to her. "Moxette, come to mommy"...she whines, fusses for a second, then gets curious and investigates where mommy (or daddy) is. Its helped.
anoushh
QUOTE(tart @ Jan 6 2007, 01:03 PM) *

Slept! Through! The Night! Wooo!





Wooo indeed!!

I'm living vicariously through you at the moment. wink.gif

We had a bad night Sunday night, but he wasn't feeling well I could tell. He wanted to be sleeping. But his cold is getting better and last night was better. Still up every 3 or 3 1/2hours, but that's way better than before, and he usually goes right back to sleep afterwards.

Regarding the attachment/separation anxiety--I worked in my last job in a service treating people with serious personality disorders, usually borderline. They all had a history of disturbed attachments, so this was something we talked about all the time in our work, training, etc (developmental stuff re: attachment, etc). One of the doctors, who went on a maternity leave just before I started, who then ended up never coming back b/c she also happened to have MS which had gotten worse, apparently had said something in a certain way that was repeated and stuck with me. Not surprisingly we as staff were parental figures to the clients, and they had mixed enmeshed/avoidance/terror/affection/hate feelings about us. We were surrogate parental figures to these clients (all at least 18, many older). Anyway, she said, in talking about how no one can ever be the "perfect" parent (and in fact you need to be a somewhat imperfect parent to teach your children what they need to know about coping with difficult feelings and situations--a "good enough" parent--"No matter how perfectly you do everything, at some point you are going to have to leave them to go to the bathroom" and then you've failed in the infant's eyes, to some level. That's life.

I don't think I explained that well. I'm not at my cognitive best right now. But I've been thinking about that even more lately than I used to.
tart
I see where you're going, Anoushh - we can strive to be the perfect parent, but eventually we'll have to leave the room/go to work/raise our voices, and our wee one's heart will break. The important thing is to help them (& ourselves) understand that heartache, to realise that it's temporary and a healthy sign of loving & trusting someone, and to not pull away for fear of getting too enmeshed...

I'm glad not-bob is kicking his cold - snotty bebes are so sad... And feel free to mooch our STTN mojo - we're on an incredible roll here, and I want all the Bustie mamas to get as much uninterrupted rest as I've had this week! (And yet, I don't feel any more rested... WTF.) Is it pathetic that I kind of miss the token wake-up, though? Just the brief, cuddle-me-back-to-sleeep-mama ones, where I slow dance around the nursery with him, smelling his hair & feeling his little fingers pat my neck...

Yeah. I'm crushing pretty hard on my little guy.

And hey, we have a tooth! At last! It's not out yet, but I can feel the edge just under the surface...

One last thing, then I really must work - we found teeny tiny bananas at the local Asian market, and have been sending one to daycare as a treat every few days. The daycare ladies think this is hysterical... but then, I get the feeling they think that about a lot of things we do. I sent Tartlet to school in a pair of overalls one day, and you'd think I'd dressed him up like Nacho Libre or something, the way they giggled.
moxiegirl
a TOOF!!! Yeah! I'd be on the ready with the tylenol, hylands, motrin, whatever you've got the next couple nights. It was the 2 nights just as her 2 teef were popping out that were murder. Our ped suggested shortning the time between pain relief to 4 hours from 6 for the really bad nights. Just an FYI.

Last night, moxette SLEPT ALL THE WAY FROM 10:30 to 5:30!!! HOLY GODDESS. I will also miss the mama-only cuddles...but I've instituted the "unless you're dying, I'm not coming in" 2AM policy. She has to learn some independence adn confidence without grown-up help. That's our one serious shortcoming...and she's SO ready to move past it. We just gotta push a little.

Annoush- have you asked your ped if you can give not-bob any cold meds yet? We used the saliene drops for a good 4 months on colds. It was like torture getting them into her, but it helped the colds. Now, we use triamenic.
tart
Funny you should say that, Mox- it seems like it was the preamble that was killing Tartlet. Now that the tooth is on the proverbial cusp, he's a happy Sam...

(Cabbage-Patches around the thread) Go Moxette, go Moxette, sleep it up now, sleep it up now!... We had HUGE sleep last night, too - he zonked out in the stroller, around 5:30, slept parked in his carseat in the living room til 7, woke up grumpy so we put him in his PJs, and he nursed right back to sleep & didn't make a peep til 5am! This morning he was all mellow & cuddly & giggly... awww.

We are such pansies when it comes to the saline drops - I can't bear holding him down to get them in there, let alone wielding the Suction Bulb of Death. We do steamy baths & BabyVicks instead, so far with good results. Oddly, I'm the one snorting the saline now.
moxiegirl
Once moxette was big enough, we just switched to cold meds. I couldn't handle the bulb of death, either. FOr a while there, she was on a constant rotation of motrin and triaminic. Now, neither. Well, the motrin the last 2 nights, b/c she's making the teething whines again. I think the top ones are starting. Fun.
chani
Gah! Chaniboy is a teething maniac lately! We were up at 1,2,4 and 5 last night - poor little muffin! And poor me! Although I've had a doey day despite it all - hopefully we'll sleep tonight.
We still use just saline drops, as the evidence suggests that cold medications don't work for young children. http://www.med.umich.edu/pediatrics/ebm/cats/coldmeds.htm
As the link says, their main mode of action is to knock them out so they're useful as sanity savers when everyone is sick and exhausted!
moxiegirl
slept. 3. night. in. a row!
tart
I swear, Mox, our kids MUST get the same baby memos... how awesome is this sleeping?! I suddenly have all this mental energy again!

I can see clearly now, the rain is gone...

Yeah, I know, baiting the baby sleep gods... (smacks own hand)
jasmine77
Hi all!

just wanted to report that the babe is getting a hang of the whole day vs night thing. Slept the best ever last night when I slept with him on my chest in our bed. still waking up 4-5 times a night to eat (I think he may be hitting a growth spurt, he's 3 weeks now). I still long for the days of 6-8 hours of uninterrupted sleep but hopefully we'll get there eventually.

Also, BF is going okay. Still need the shield but he seems to be getting plenty and I'm getting more volume when I pump now. I think the milk supply issue won't be an issue after all.

Congrats to all the moms who got a full night sleep. I am ever so jealous!!!
tart
Hi, Jasmine! Thanks for the update - I'm really glad things are smoothing out for you, and that BF isn't stressing you.

So hey, you need any clothing for the wee guy? I had another clear-out last night, and am drowning in 3-9 month boy clothes... I'd pass them on to friends, but there's been a sudden surge of universal estrogen, & everyone I know is having little girls! Let me know - I'm happy to ship out a box or two...
anoushh
My boy is growing out of all of his clothes like crazy! He'll be 11 weeks tomorrow! But I have some gender neutral newborn stuff, if anyone needs it.
tart
Hey, my offer stands for any BustieMamas - you need anything, Anoushh?
tallgirl
Just as an FYI for anyone who has a suffering babe this season, I saw this on CNN today and wanted to share. CDC opinion about cold meds for tots
moxiegirl
HI TG!!! OK, I read the same article, but did you notice how it pointed out mid paragraph that the kids that had problems had an average of 14 times the dosage for a 2 YR old in their systems? And, the study mentioned in the article isn't anywhere to be found on the CBC website...ilooked. I'm just saying that similar to the "tylenol will ruin your liver" or "aleve causes heart attacks," it may be that parents who overdose their kids, or don't keep track of what they're giving them, might be as big a part of the problem. FWIW, triamenic doesn't have pseudoephedrine in it. I'm not saying don't be cautious, but I just get wary of "news" articles where the sources aren't noted and the results are sketchy.

chani
I know! Usually CBC is pretty good about sources, but no specifics and no links this time. Hmm!
So Chaniboy is meeting with the developmental specialist tomorrow for his 18 month assessment. I don't know whether I should be praying she says everything is fine, or just hopeful that if he needs help there'll be resources available.
anoushh
Drive by to say best to chani and chani boy.
moxiegirl
(((chaini))) I think a solid 50-50 split between your two thoughts is right. I'll come down on the side of help if warranted. Is a developmental specialist normal for 18 mos, or has he had some delays? (((HUGS))). How is chainibabyV2.0 coming along?
anoushh
WHere is pervenche?

Boy slept for 5 hours last night. Unfortunately he made up for it after that, but it's still nice.
grenadine
it's the beginning of a trend, anoushh. hurrah for ava james!

i'm here. i haven't had much to say lately, mostly because things have not been splendid chez moi, and therefore i find it increasingly difficult to produce language. the mold is stressful. we asked the mister's grandparents, who are loaded and have lent large sums/bought land outright for people in the past, for a loan of enough for a down payment on a new place, so that we could clean up and rent the moldy place until such time as it will sell at a profit, but they said no for reasons i don't approve of (i.e. that they were making judgments about the validity of our decision based on false impressions that they have -- they kept saying "but you're planning to move in a year, and you should really stay in a place for five years if you buy, so that is a bad idea," and the mr. kept saying "actually, we're planning to move in five years IF we can get jobs elsewhere, not in a year," and they kept not hearing him. it's totally fine that they don't want to lend us money; i'm not entirely comfortable borrowing it anyhow, but i can't stand it when people make passive-aggressive bullshit excuses instead of having the courage to say, "we don't want to do that." no respect, you know?). the mister is depressed and is being inattentive, inefficient, and generally lame, and he has pointed out to me that our dynamic has become like his parents' ('successful' wife who lives in a state of constant exasperation with/disrespect of her husband, who is somewhat aimless professionally). this upsets me even more than the prospect of continuing to mooch off my parents for a year. much more, actually. and i'm not so successful, since i just missed the deadline for a faculty grant i really should have applied for to show the massive amounts of entrenched middle-aged white people that i really am serious about introducing minority literature (aka "multicultural") to our curriculum. also, my right side constantly hurts and i'm afraid there IS something wrong with my liver and i will die and not be able to raise my son.

so basically, i'm feeling petulant, entitled, and angry and am unfit company for most anyone. i have been checking in on you all, though, every now and then. i'm like a well-wishing fairy godmother with no power who can only drop f-bombs when i try to speak.

also, my in-laws were just here for the weekend and their family friend had a tantrum because the mr. and i have ABANDONED HER EMOTIONALLY, an accusation she bases on the fact that her email doesn't work and she doesn't get our emails. i'm like, look woman: i barely know you, i made an effort, i don't have time for your bullshit, and frankly, you're not engendering huge waves of sympathy with your sobbing calls that if i don't come over for dinner RIGHT THIS SECOND you will cry all night. wtf??


chani, i hope the appointment went well. been thinking of you and chanibaby.

anoushh, i'm so glad things are evening out for you (i hope that's okay to say).

tart and mox, i'm pettily jealous of your confidence and good cheer, which means you are doing something right! hugs.

love to all the mamas out there.

p.s. my mother had an old family friend over (son my age who now is a corporate lawyer in shallow alto) and confided that she USED TO DRUG HIM when they flew. benadryl, i guess. wow. maybe that's why he lives in shallow alto now; his synapses might be permanently damaged...
anoushh
Oops--got the old name and the new one mixed up.

I totally understand what you mean about things being "not splendid" even though our circumstances aren't the same. I have real estate woes too, amongst others.

Gren, it sounds like the MIL might be a tad borderline. There's some good literature out there at living with borderline people in your life, which might be of help in dealing with MIL. I'll give more specifics if you are interested.

Ok, cooing giving way to a bit of whining, I think. Better go reassure him (he can see me right next to him, but still, 20 minutes on his own entertaining himself is like a miracle.)

Ara's in this cosleeper/crib cooing up a storm at the moment at his crib mobile thingie.

Things are a bit better, yes--and totally ok to say.
moxiegirl
well, things aren't all rosy this week. had a hellish time getting to sleep last night, and today, i get home, and POOF! no power. 3 days AFTER the ice storm. So, we are encamped chez moxieparents. perv...misery and company? ((((perv/gren)))
anoushh
I've lived in fear of no power ever since not-bob was born. My sympathies, Mox. It was bad enough when it was just me and the pets and we didn't have power for 3 days--and I had a gas stove and gas heat in that house! Hope it gets sorted soon.

Notbob has discovered he can kick his play mat toys with his feet. He's been mesmerized for about 25 minutes now.
tart
Gah. That sucks, Moxie - well, at least you have somewhere warm to go, eh?

Anoushh, I pm'd you! Go, notbob!

(((((((((big fat hugs to all the BustieMamas))))))))))))))

I've got the blue funks on lately, as well - nothing major, just nostalgic for the days when I had large blocks of time to myself to craft/cook/read/mooch. Even when I get a break, 75% of my brain is still on mommy duty, so it's not nearly as restful as it should be. rolleyes.gif
moxiegirl
tart, this will pass. I say that wondering how in the world I'm going to go on vacation and not be terrified something will happen while I'm gone. But, we had a large chunk of the blues over christmastime, and one really nice night out with adult friends and no babies did the trick. The point was to NOT talk about our kids. Just things we talked about before we had our kids. Coming up on 1 year old, and I've got to think we (us coming up on 1 year moms) need to start re-investing time and energy in an activity for ourselves as individuals. For my part, I think I'm going to go back to the theatre...unless its catty, bitchy central, of course. The other possibility is starting dance lessons again.

Annoushh- ROCK ON NOTBOB! The moment of baby clairity when a TOY becomes as cool as mommy for a few minutes is an epiphany.
jasmine77
I am proud and relieved to announce that the babe slept for 5 hours straight last PM!! And in the cradle, not on mom's chest!! I'm feeling pretty good today after getting some much needed shut eye. Hopefully this trend will continue and he'll eventually sleep a full 8+ hours a night. All I can say is thank cod for the swaddle blanket!! smile.gif
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