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chani
Thanks for all the good wishes! She went over a very detailed questionnaire and spent some time playing with him and reassured me that he is a normal kid who's perfectly happy getting around without walking.
Today.... he walked! Across the room! Twice! Mind you, he'll only do it in his snowsuit when he can't tell if I'm holding on to him or not. Still, he stood on his own in the middle of the room twice today as well which he's never had the confidence to do before.
Even his speech has improved this week. It seems as if that developmental plateau is finally over.
AND... as of monday he's been sleeping in the toddler bed for naps and nights! Still waking up once in the night, but hopefully that'll stop soon. So we have the crib and the nursery free for chanibabyv.2!
Whew!
Congrats Jasmine! I'm really really hoping v.2 sleeps like that too! Moxie, hope you're home and warm!
moxiegirl
Chani-that is wonderful! I've noticed every time I think "will she EVER do... alone?" she does it the next day. We are home and nice and warm, thanks for asking!

Ok, she's napping, so I should be doing a myriad of other things besides being on the computer. Right? Maybe I'll just catch up on another thread or two...
tart
Yay for Jaslet & Chanibaby! Chani, you gave me the best visual of Chanibaby, all plump & confident in his snowsuit... Lots of development on our end, as well, though right now at the expense of a full nights' sleep... We now have 1 tooth out & proud, and its neighbor is going to break through any day. Tartlet's been chewing on anything & everything that fits in his mouth - fortunately, I've been spared any razorsharp chomps so far...

Wake-ups at 2:30am two nights in a row, completely frantic & unconsolable, poor bebe. It's got to be the teeth - he's literally smacking himself in the mouth when I go to get him. All it takes is a cuddle & a nurse to get him back to honkshu land, so it's not so bad, really. I'm tempted to try to sneak him another round of Motrin around midnight & see if that helps... hate to wake him up, though.

The big news is that he's on the threshold of standing on his own - he's been showboating in his crib & leaning against his toychest, but he's now starting to use my leg to push up, & you can tell he's trying to work out he physics of his own body - so cool to watch!

Thanks for the pep talk, Mox - it inspired me to schedule a date-day with Tartman (a big brunch, thrift shop mooching, & ice cream...) & get a smokin' hot haircut, so I'm feeling a little better now. I'm trying to get better about using our evenings, as well - too often the siren's call of the couch & Frasier DVDs has been winning out...

(waves drool-soaked bibby) Hi, Gren! Hi, Anoushh!
moxiegirl
Oh, the 2am, I HURTY cryfest has gotta be the teeth! I think moxette's second set are starting to push through. We're back to motrin at bedtime, although I've only given her some at 2am once this week so far.

Standing on his own, what a kiddo!! Moxette's confidence still isn't there, although when she's not thinking about it, the kid is using everything and everyone (including the cats!) to pull up on. I hear boys tend to do this earlier than girls...but tartlette is the only same-age boy we've got.

SOmetimes, tart, the couch and Fraiser DVD's can be a good time just to be peaceful and with tartman, too. Then, there are other evenings, when getting serious HBI clearly wins out. We are all about quality over quantity. 1 absurdly good HBI a week is MUCH better than 4 or 5 mediocre ones.

Moxette has started "conversing" with everyone- again, including the cats. We totally dig it, but have to keep reminding ourselves not to use the baby babble...real words. That, and she's taken a real liking to Big Bird (yes, we watch TV together).

Ok, miss babblebabble may be waking up WAY too early (our latest challenge...)...i should go.
tart
Today's new word: "Po-tay-tay!" And he started milk-drunk singing last night... "Ooh. Ooooooooh. ooooOOOOOOooooh..." Cracks. My. Shit. UP.
anoushh
I am SO tired. The 5 hour sleeps are, for the moment, a thing of the past.
tart
((((Anoushh)))) Fear not, love, it's likely just another growth spurt - you're at about 12-14 weeks, no?

Look into my eyes, Not-bob, you are getting very, verrrrrrry sleeeeepy... *z*zz*zzzzzzzz*
anoushh
Yeah, I remember the doula saying that 3 days, three weeks, and three months were hard. He's three months on Sunday. At least now he can smile-and I even caught a great smile on the camera!

I'm soooo tired, though.

Anyway, thanks.
I love you guys. *sniff*
(said in best approximation of drunken fool, though I haven't had a drink in ages now.....)

Po-tay-tay--hee! That's funny.
jasmine77
(((Anoushh))) I feel your pain. I too am exhausted. The babe only sleeps about 2-3 hours at a time then wants the boob again. And the Mr. has been zero help the past couple weeks. He's working long hours at the job but then comes home and either goes right to bed or works out for an hour. Meanwhile, I've had kid stuck to me all day and night, have not even been able to put him down long enough for a shower without him screaming and crying and, here's the kicker, the Mr. says to me "you get to nap all day" !!!! I may be in the news soon for brutally stabbing my hubby in his sleep.

I'm really looking forward to the days when this kid is on a schedule and sleeps thru the night and naps during the day. Someone please tell me that will happen soon...
anoushh
Jasmine, that's so not ok. I think you have permission to stab him.

I'd be tempted to leave him with the baby, alone, for a few hours and see how he likes it. But he should listen to you--have you told him directly how you feel? the 24/7 part of it is more exhausting than people realise. If so, and he doesn't listen, see permission above.... wink.gif

My mr. is working stupid long hours. Poor guy. He tries to help when he's home but 70 hours a week for a 50 year old guy, well, it's not easy. It should be illegal. Weekends are better, but not only do I need the help, but he needs to be able to see his baby more.

Thank god for my mom, or I'd probably have lost it by now.

I do know that not very long ago I felt like if you told me that things would be better at 9 weeks, at 12 weeks, etc, I would have felt like you might as well have said "things will be better in 10 years." I also kept thinking 'what if everyone is wrong--what if he is like this for a year or two? What if he's just different from everyone else. I can't do this that long." But he wasn't.

I'm still envious of anyone who's baby sleeps 5 hours or more on a regular basis at this age. If he does I pay for it by him then waking every 2 hours or less after to make up for it (needing to be fed.) Oh well. It's better overall. I just want to kill everyone who's written a book that says "at 3 months many babies sleep through the night." Mine doesn't and frankly I knew he wouldn't.

But on the other hand, I already miss my teeny tiny little guy. He's so big now in comparison to just a month or two ago.

It will get better. Everyone here told me that, and they've been right.
moxiegirl
annoush, what the books don't tell you is that "sleeping through the night" is technically defined as a 6 hour stretch. Moxette is almost 10 months old, and still really needs a short feeding mid-night time frame. Moxieman does that before he comes up to bed. Then, she's up at 5am again to eat. She generally sleeps like a log the rest of the time, though. So, maybe its US who don't want to give up the quiet time together...still though, to EXPECT a 12 week old bebe to go more than 5 or 6 hours w/o food is absurd.

We DID become nazi's about her "bedtime routine" at about 12 weeks, though. That helped her learn to calm down and know that bedtime was bedtime and not just a nap.

Jasmine- in what alternate world does working out for an hour while your wife has been with a crying, needy baby ALL DAMN DAY and still doing a good job keeping herself and his household together qualify as OK? If you can answer that, then you can be a billionaire and get a nanny. Otherwise, tell your husband to man-up. Seriously. And start pumping so that papa can help with feedings at midnight or 2am.
jasmine77
Thank you ladies!! I knew you'd see my POV. I did have a talk with the Mr. and basically told him that he needed to cut back the hours at work and increase the time with the babe or else he'd come home to an empty house forever. He seemed somewhat receptive to my harsh ultimatum. I neglected to mention the murder part (I'll keep that idea in my back pocket, for now!). I have been pumping milk too and, when he's around, Mr. Jas will feed the babe at midnite so I can get 4 uninteruppted hours of sleep.



One thing I've noticed in the past week... The babe sleeps about 2 hours when he's in the cradle but 3-4 hours if he's in bed with me. Last PM, I fed him then he woke an hour later. I knew he wasn't hungry or wet so I cuddled him in bed. He promptly fell fast asleep and stayed that way for 4 hours. I don't mind having him in bed with me but I also don't want to get into a bad habit later on and never get him outta my bed. He's only 5 weeks old. Did any of you ladies co-sleep? How did you get your little ones to sleep well on their own? The swaddling blanket is only helping so much...
tart
We part-time co-sleep, Jasmine, and it's the only way we stayed sane in the early days. Tartlet starts out the night in his crib, and depending on his sleep & my fortitude, comes into bed with us anywhere from midnight on. (At 9+ months, he's in his crib 90% of the time, only co-sleeping in the wee hours of the morning so I don't have to get up quite so early to nurse him...) Our ped put it to us this way: whatever gets everyone the most sleep. Just make sure you're co-sleeping safely: a nice firm mattress, keep pillows & excess blankets out of the way, and either put him between you & the wall/your hub or get a sidecar or bedrail.

Just a thought, but you could try putting a lovie in your bed for a few nights to soak up the mama smell, & see if putting him in his crib with that helps him sleep a bit more soundly. I wouldn't worry about setting up bad habits at this point in the game - he's tiny, and it's only right that he'd want to sleep cuddled up to his #1 mama... If you haven't already, pick up a copy of Dr Sears' Baby Book - good info on co-sleeping, babywearing & other crunchy AP pursuits.

Glad to hear the butcher knife has been sheathed for the moment - men have a very hard time, I think, fathoming the drain that an infant has on its mother, and good on your Mr for stepping up so you can get some much-needed rest.

Seconding Mox's advice for you, Anoushh - a bedtime routine has been a godsend for us. I even do a version of it for naps (fewer books, no bath, but the same diaper change, cuddle, quiet CD & nursing progression). He still naps for shit, but I'm clinging to my routine in hopes it takes, eventually...

Yay smiley Not-bob! And have you seen the Moxette recently? Holy cheek squishing, Batman!
anoushh
I was going to ask if you were co-sleeping, Jas. Also if you have a pouch or sling.

Notbob has mostly been sleeping with me. I've spent waaaayyy to much time worrying about the very same thing as you, in spite of the fact that in my professional life I know that a child who gets it's needs met will actually be more independent in the long run. Now that he's a little older (He'll be three months already on Sunday!) I find myself worrying a lot less. It helps that I see growing signs of independence already, such as him being able to sit and entertain himself for short periods at times now. Harder then to convince myself that he'll be the only child in the world who doesn't respond the way I know children do.

All children have different temperaments, and I think some children handle the big wide world better than others at first. One thing that helped me was to realize that even if I held him "only" 12 hours a day, it was still a 50 percent reduction on what he was used to in the womb. I think the transition into the world must be a hell of a shock for them. I kept reminding myself he's only a little baby, and he will grow up soon enough, and for now his needs are understandably very high. I had a lot of help with that from the wonderful people here, too.

Basically I'm more able to believe that he will move on when it's time, and remind myself that if mama's going insane, it's not good for baby. That means if I get a bit more sleep with him with me, it's worth it for now.

There's a lot of stuff at the Ask Dr. Sears website on cosleeping, if you want to read up a bit more.

Short answer is I'd do it and not worry about it. I'm envious that you are getting 4 hours sleep already! It took us a lot longer.


Good for you for talking to your Mr. If he was under the illusion that life would not DRAMATICALLY change with a baby in his life, he needed a good slap upside the head.

Moxie., I did read somewhere that sleeping through the night is defined as 5 hours. I was so disappointed. I like your definition better--6 is somehow so much better than five. If we can consistently get either one, I'd be happy. Very happy.

He had a good night last night, mostly. Phew! My mom took him for a while in the evening (She generally likes to stay up late anyway) and he slept from about 9 to 2 am! She fed him and brought him in, and instead of the usual making up for lost time after that by waking every 2 hours or so and wanting to eat the rest of the night, he slept for about 3 1/2 hours after that! With my ups and downs I still actually got some decent sleep for a change.

Moxie, I wish I had your way with words. smile.gif
anoushh
on the down side, the poor guy has been spitting up more and more. I feel bad for him.
moxiegirl
well thanks ladies. OUr pediatrician, an avid Ferberizer, also suggested that while Ferberizing worked for his 3 kids, if the 11:00 pm feeding is making moxette sleep independently the rest of the night- well, then that works. Whatever works for the most sleeping hours for the most people. Period. We are much better about her 3am wake-ups though. if she ain't screaming, i'm not running in. period.

speaking of screaming...the non-napper (naps for shit...i love that!)...is protesting her post-school nap. feh.

We're on vacation, sans bebe, next week, and i'm alternately dreaming of it and dreading it. ok...gtg
moxiegirl
well thanks ladies. OUr pediatrician, an avid Ferberizer, also suggested that while Ferberizing worked for his 3 kids, if the 11:00 pm feeding is making moxette sleep independently the rest of the night- well, then that works. Whatever works for the most sleeping hours for the most people. Period. We are much better about her 3am wake-ups though. if she ain't screaming, i'm not running in. period.

speaking of screaming...the non-napper (naps for shit...i love that!)...is protesting her post-school nap. feh.

We're on vacation, sans bebe, next week, and i'm alternately dreaming of it and dreading it. ok...gtg
chani
jas, we did the same as tart when chanibaby was little. He got used to falling asleep in his crib, but at a variable point in the night we often co-slept for my sanity. When his night feeds stopped, he was used to the crib enough to not miss the co-sleeping.
There was a time too when he napped in his swing only - but that was short lived as well. Oh, the swing was a lifesaver when he had his first cold - it kept him upright so his nose drained and he actually slept! We kept it in our room for those few nights until he was feeling better.
moxiegirl
Oh! for the days when moxette would sleep in the swing and/or bouncy chair! We'd put the bouncy chair in her crib (why? who knows) when she had a cold, and zzzzzz.....now, she just snores all night when she's stuffy.
aquagirl3
Hi all,
I'm expecting my first and registered today for stuff after finding out yesterday it's a Boy. For diapers, I think I want to go the biodegradable route ("Nature Boy&Girl" seem the best) instead of horrible disposables or exhausting cloth. Any wise opinions from eco-friendly mommies? (or daddies?)
CharliNye
My 6 1/2 mos old has no problem sleeping in her crib for most of the night, but daytime... eesh! I can't get her to nap in there.

I'm home with her and she always falls asleep on me while nursing and if I move her to the crib she's awake, which means her nap is ten minutes long. It's frustrating as hell, sometimes I can't get a damn thing done during the day.

At night while she'll sleep in it at night mostly, she has been falling asleep around 7:30 for fifteen minutes, then wakes feeds again and goes down a little after 8 and then wham, up again by 9 for one more. Most of the time she'll then feed again and go down til at least 3 but sometimes she's up two hours later just when I'm trying to sleep.

Which means she ends up sleeping curled up in our bed with me. It's my only way to sleep at all. I'm happy though because at least she sleeps in the crib at all, my 9 yr old wouldn't sleep in it for the first 18 months of his life. It was torture!!

anoushh
Aquagirl, I haven't tried those, but for me part of the problem w/ the biodegradable claim is that lots of things are biodegradable in theory, but in the conditions of landfills (anerobic, etc) aren't at all in practice.

Still, I didn't find cloth diapers that hard (if you have your own washer/dryer) but they don't kept the boy as dry, even if I change them constantly. I've been using Seventh Generation disposables, esp at night, with some cloth during the day. They are extremely absorbent, keep him dry, and no chorine bleach. I mean, does the baby care what color his diapers are? Of course not.

If you find out more about those diapers. though, I'd be interested in knowing. No easy choices here, I think, at least not for me.
anoushh
Anyone have any experience/suggestions re: baby carriers/wraps, etc?

I loved the fleece pouch when he was smaller, but now he's not so small and I don't like the Maya wrap--it keeps slipping off my shoulder.
tart
I do, I do! We're still rocking the pouch over here (a non-stretch one, but as a hip carry instead of the snugglycradle carry), but there are times when I want something more secure...

Enter the 4.5 yards of cotton madras. There are bazillions of ways to tie it, some of the more useful ones described here. I use the front cross carry wrap - sounds complicated at first, but after a few practice runs, it's really easy & super comfy. You can buy all kinds of pricey wraps, but at the end of the day, it's just a piece of cloth, ya know?

I'm also looking for a mei tai - not necessarily this brand, but you get the idea. The downside to a true wrap is the sheer bulk of fabric - not the easiest thing to navigate in the middle of a rainy parking lot, say. A mei tai distributes the weight similarly, but with less fabric & a bit more structure. It's less intimidating for Tartman, as well - he's donned the pouch on occasion, but is in no way interested in learning to wrap.

Mostly, though, I want it for back carries - Tartlet's too much of a looker & craner-around to be happy facing in for too long, and I don't want to muck around with a wrap when he's balanced between my shoulderblades... blink.gif

More useful links (yeah, I'm kind of a fanatic...): thebabywearer.com & MamaToto

PS: Hi, Aqua! Hi, CharliNye! Happy vacation, Mox!
anoushh
Thanks, Tart. I went to the fabric store thinking I could get some fabric reasonably cheap and make one, but no. Nothing even remotely suitable. Very bizarre. In a couple of months they'll have all kinds of gauze, madras, etc, but not now, and I need one now. Looks like the cheapest decent thing I'll find is about $50 ready made. Geez.

I'm feeling ready to take on the wraps! And mei tais seem less intimdating than before. Not ready for the back carries yet, but he's only 3 months now.
tart
What are you looking for, fabric-wise, Anoushh? The local Hancock Fabrics has the back third of the store devoted to sale & clearance stuff...
anoushh
Ah ha! I think I've solved the problem. You can get what look like nice rebozos (Mexican baby wraps) for a very reasonable price on ebay.

I was looking for anything that wasn't too hideous that fit the criteria here for a woven wrap:

http://www.mamatoto.org/Default.aspx?tabid=121

Turned out even if it removed the "not too hideous" criteria I found nothing. I hate Joanne's.

I'll let you know if the rebozo doesn't work out, Tart. THanks. And I'm sure I'll be back with wrapping questions!
anoushh
Pooh. Spoke too soon. It turns out I made a mistake (confused feet and yards--that's what i get for doing my looking at night after I've had the baby alone all day).

I really don't want to spend $60+ on this.
tart
There's absolutely no reason you'd have to, Anoushh... Try Denver Fabrics online - here's a link to their cotton shirting selection. Click through a few pages & you'll see they've got a nice variety of plaids & stripes, perfect for wrapping & most under $5 a yard. FYI, I never bothered finishing my ends or my edges, but I just try to pass the fray off as punkrock tongue.gif
squidmo
Ah! I haven't posted in ages.....I had a baby! She is four months old now. Her name is Miette. Seeing as how we are approaching the whole "real food" thing, I was wondering if anyone had suggestions on making baby food at home. We aren't there yet, but I think I want to do it myself in a more organic fashion, so I figure I need planning and practice. Anybody an experienced baby cook?
tart
Miette?! As in City of Lost Children? bows down to Squidmo's coolness

We make just about all our own baby food, and honestly, it's not that big a deal, especially early on when it's more for fun than for real sustenance... I do carrots (a big bag of baby ones, steamed), sweet potatoes/winter squash (baked whole, then peeled), peas (frozen organic, parboiled), red lentils (cooked with a bit of coconut milk), tinned/frozen organic peaches/pears, natural applesauce, and whizz them up in the food processor. When he was just starting out, I forced everything through a sieve to get it nice & smooth. Slap the purees into icecube trays, pop them out when they're frozen, and voila! We have an embarassing collection of gallon Ziplocs in the freezer right now... I got a little enthusiastic a few weeks ago.

I found this site really helpful - still do! We just started adding a bit of cinnamon to the nasty rice cereal that's still hanging around, and boy, does that go over better!

If Moxie's lurking around, maybe she'll weigh in on the Moxette's diet, past & present - I know she & I are following fairly different guidelines on what to give when, and it's always good to get a variety of opinions... happy.gif
anoushh
Ok, the wrap problem is sorted! Cost? A grand total of $8.25! Remembered a place in town that isn't fancy, but has lots of stuff. "Factory Fabrics" or some such. Had completely forgotten about it as I've not lived here for almost 4 years until about 8 months ago. It's amazing how much you forget.

Apparently they are going out of business, so the madras that was $3 per yard was marked down to $1.50--whoohoo! Now to tackle using it.

I also sprung for an EllaRoo Podaegi. It wasn't what I was intending to buy when I went to look at wraps, but it was flipping gorgeous! Not sure if it will work--will report back--but hey, mom has needs too, right?

http://www.betterforbabies.com/ellaroopodaegi.html

The sakura black, which is about a million times more beautiful in person (approximately). I hope it works.
moxiegirl
HI! At 5 mos, we did the basics-applesauce, bannana, carrots, sweetpotato, greenbeans. At about 7 mos, we introduced more variety- lentils, spinach, potato, etc. At 9 mos, we intro-ed meats-chicken and turkey-lurkey. Now, at 10 months, we've just started on yougurt and table foods. She LOVES strawberries and bannana, cut up. Also grahm crackers. We do the store-bought stuff, cause i realized I was just too damed lazy to puree our food, AND, moxieman has a limited palate, so my home cooking is actually less varietal than what I can get her from gerber. Its sad my 10 month old eats a bigger variety of veggies than her dad does. I'd take a look-see at the "stage 1" foods to see what is most likely tolerated by the 4-5 month crowd. FWIW, moxette did NOT do well with solids at 4 months- we waited until 5 months and she turned out just fine, so far. The only 2 things she REALLY doesn't like veggie wise are squash and peas; peaches are not a favorite on the fruit side.

*MWAH*
anoushh
A friend of mine used a braun handblender with a chopper attachment to puree things. It might seem like more work to some than doing what tart does, to some it might be easier. Just thought I'd mention it.

Notbob is 3 months and one week now. How time flies (though in some ways it seems forever.) He'll be moving on to solid food soon, too. Maybe he'll sleep longer then. Or maybe not. Who knows.

QUOTE
Its sad my 10 month old eats a bigger variety of veggies than her dad does.


I'm not sure why I found this amusing, but I did. She probably eats a bigger variety than me too, these days. Frustrating that at the time I'd most like to be able to lose weight (I just want to get back to pre-baby size, which I think is pretty reasonable as I could do with loosing more than that. I'd lost about 22 lbs before baby) is when it's hardest to do so. Exercise? Not so easy. Eating right? I'm lucky that I get to eat at all some days, let alone eat well.

Hmmm, maybe I should be buying myself some of that baby food..... wink.gif

Mox, how was vacation?
moxiegirl
Vacay was awesome. I wholeheartedly reccomend taking grandparents offers to babysit and heading on a trip with your mate sometime around the 1 year mark. We would have waited a little longer, except for the absurdly cheap plane tix we got. We didn't worry one iota about moxette, knowing she was probably have a great "vacay" with her grandparents (even if her cold turned into bronchitis...yuck!...and my mom didn't tell me until I was on the plane back to DTW). We DID see many families with teeny tiney bebes, and I was just shocked. A Caribbean cruise is almost the last place I'd see taking a baby as a good idea. The very last place is a 2 hour trek through the Mexican coast to an undeveloped Mayan Ruin site. And yep, we saw wee ones there, too.

Anyway, annoush, it took me 10 months to get to the weight I wanted to be at, and I'm still all flabby-pants. Or flabby gut and hips and thighs. Plus, you're breastfeeding, and need to take in more calories to sustain you and notbob. And, moxette was a spring baby, which meant for the first 12 weeks of her life, when I was home all day with her, we went for outside walks every day. Its February, and FREEZING outside. By the time spring rolls around, notbob will be old enough for parks, and long walks, and love every minute of seeing leaves, and flowers and the like.

oh, i also meant to add that even if you're going to make your own foods, it might be worthwhile to try the jarred ones when introducing a new food the first time...no likey, lost .44 cents, not a whole batch of whatever.
squidmo
Ahh! Tart! It is from City of Lost Children! No one ever puts that together! I am in love with you now! Thanks for the advice on foods. As it turns out, my little one is horrified of spoons right now, so we are gonna try again in a few weeks.
tart
Ha! That's one of my favorite films ever, Squid - so nice to meet a fellow fan... On the spoon thing, maybe give her one just to play with for a few days, if she can do it without putting an eye out... Really, though, I wouldn't rush it - until they lose the tongue-thrust reflex, anything you put in is just gonna get squirted right back at you.

Huzzah, Anoushh! I am drooling over your Ellaroo - let me know how you like the podaegi-style. It looks like a cozy option for cooler weather, keeping everyone's bum covered.... I just finished negotiating a custom mei tai with this fabric, but in blacks & dark browns, reversing to espresso brown twill - oh mama, I want it nownownow!

Guh, I am closing my eyes & living vicariously through Mox's vacation... yes, I would miss Tartlet by the end of the first day, but I am very sure I could still enjoy myself. Especially after last night's 1am wake-up & subsequent 4-hour nurse-a-thon. In his defence, he's teething something awful & running a fever, but still - it's all I can do to not put up my "pumping in progress" sign, lay my head on my keyboards & snore away...
jasmine77
Ok, ladies, I'm feeling very discouraged right now. I'm trying so hard to Breastfeed and wean off the nipple shield but I'm having a lot of pain. Saw the OB today, it turns out I have cracked nipples, thrush and a plugged duct on the left that turned into a mild mastitis. Basically, everything that could go wrong has. Anybody experienced one or more of the above? Any advice for coping?
anoushh
Do you have access to a lactation consultant? If so, get in touch. If not, maybe a La Leche League chapter in your area?

These are common probloems. The thrush will cause cracked nipples. Make sure to let them air dry after you feed--esp important with the shield.
Letting some of the milk dry on the nipples will help, too.

If breastfeeding hurts, something is wrong--it's good you talked to the OB, but if you can talk to a lactation specialist that would probably be even more reassuring (if not, don't worry.)

And everything that can go wrong hasn't gone wrong. It's easy to tell ourselves this when we feel discouraged (I do it too) but what we say to ourselves has powerful effects on our mood, so checking out the fact so the situation can help.

So, is your baby gaining weight and healthy? Yes? Something that didn't go wrong.

Do you have access to medical care? Sounds like yes, so you can get help for these problems.

I tried desperately to breast feed, but I never produced enough (that is, almost no) milk. It was incredibly sad and discouraging and I felt a huge sense of loss. My medical advice is based on what others have told me, therefore. I did have a lot of help from the local lactation consultants who were emotionally extremely supportive and helped with practical stuff, too.

And if find you just can't manage the breastfeeding without going insane, it's ok to stop. I'm a huge advocate of breastfeeding, but everyone has their limits, and if mama feels like she's going to go insane and a change would help, then think about needs to change and do what you can.

I think you can get through this and continue to breastfeed, but if not, don't beat yourself up.

Why wre you trying to wean off the shield, btw?

Good luck.



chani
Advice? Find a LC or La Leche as per anoushh. Don't worry about weaning off the sheild right now. Use your anti-thrush cream as prescribed and get yourself some Lansinoh cream to use liberally and often to help heal the cracked nipples. Keep breastfeeding/pumping to get rid of the mastitis. Take tylenol or ibuprofen for your comfort.
As Anoushh says, these are common problems not major setbacks - I hope you can struggle through the next week and find everything smooth sailing on the other side!
moxiegirl
jas-i'm with annoush- i didn't breastfeed myself, but I think if you're trying, and we know you are, that trying the remedies the ladies suggested might be just the ticket. And, if you have to stop for your own sanity, know that your own sanity and enjoyment of mealtimes is very important to the wee one, too. a blip (ok, a blimp) on the radar screen is surviveable, sweets.
tart
Yes, yes & yes to all the great advice given below, Jas - a good LC will be able to coach you through this & many other rough patches. Definitely use Lansinoh & breastmilk for the cracking - I had a bit at first, and it cleared up quickly with a bit of TLC. There's lots of good info at kellymom.com, and most of the forum mods are LCs, so if you can't find one in your area, they're a great resource.

Specifically, though, don't stress too much, OK? The important thing is to feed your baby. You've given Jaslet a wonderful start with breastmilk, and if you can get things sorted out, that's fabulous. But remember how many healthy, happy, self-actualized adults in the world were raised on formula (hey! like me!). What matters is that it's you on the other end of that nipple/shield/bottle - nursing & feeding isn't just about food, it's about that special quiet time with your baby. (((gentle, non-booby-squishing hugs for Jasmine)))

Meanwhile, the fever's finally abated, but the old man smoker's hack has replaced it... so he was up at 12:30. Got him back into bed by 2:30, though, so thankfully everyone got a bit more sleep. Of course, I made the mistake of consulting the Baby Death Book (aka, What to Expect the First Year) this morning, and am now convinced that he's got RSV, roseola, bronchiolitis, and about 12 other rare tropical diseases... self-directed rolleyes.gif
moxiegirl
Tart- if the cough doesn't go away by tonight, I'd call the ped. Around here, bronchitis has been ravaging the daycare set. Moxette and 3 other kids from her class got secondary infections after last week's cold. Its not too serious, but a week of antibiotics and albuteriol are called for.
jasmine77
Huge, heartfelt thank yous to all the BUSTie moms!!! What a difference a day (and the correct meds) makes! The boobs are feeling better and the cracks are even healing up nicely. miniJas is feeding well, even latching okay without the shield sometimes. And, thankfully, he isn't showing any signs of thrush so we won't need to medicate him. Yay! Our local LLL is having a meeting on Tuesday so I think I'm going to try to go to that for some more help with latching correctly.

Tart- I agree with Mox. If the cough sounds wet and junky, or tartlet's having wheezing/ harsh breathing, it may be worth it to go to the ped. It may be nothing but tartlet might need some meds to get thru the cold. Also, cool mist humidifiers are the best for junky coughs, if you aren't already using one. Or take him into the bathroom with the shower running. (BTW, I've never had my own baby sick but I'm a family practice Physician Assistant, so I've treated lots of kids with that hacking cough. Just so you don't think I'm totally talking out my butt... just partially smile.gif )
tart
That's so great to hear, Jasmine! Tartlet's had this cough on & off for several weeks, and at our 9-month visit last week, our ped said his lungs sounded clear & that it was likely just teething drool backing up. I'll keep an eye on him, though, and crank up the humidifier tonight with some teatree oil & see if that helps. If not, back to the ped's we go... yeah, work looooves me right now.
moxiegirl
ladies, i have a quandry. A day-care quandry. The situation is thus:
Moxette is in what we feel is an excellent center. Each room is lead by a certified teacher or early child-care person. Its run and administered through our public school district. The lead teachers in moxette's room and the room next door (the 1-2 year olds) are awesome. The problem is that the rest of the staff seems to rotate and change in what seems like a very high frequency. I understand that an infant daycare room is a tough job, and sometimes the staffing needs go up and down, especially given the changing number of babies in the room. The big issue is that whenever the staff changes, moxette seems to be put with the new person, which means her main, lead, primary caregiver changes ALOT. At 10 months old, one of her big "development" milestones should be attachment. There were a bunch of new babies that started in January and February.

How should I bring this up, tactfully and not sounding like a helicopter parent? I can see her shifting and being more jittery in the morning when we drop her...it's verging on being a real serious issue.
tart
I think you're right to be concerned, Mox, even though you bring up valid points about the practicalities of childcare staffing... I'd ask to have a quick sit-down with one of the lead teachers & give her the skinny on Moxette's behavior changes. My first guess is that Moxette is being tagged as an "easy" baby, generally adaptable & not particularly highstrung or delicate, so they put her with the new people & keep the more intense kids with the more experienced staff. A case of the squeaky wheel, & all that... I'm sure if the teachers know that you're concerned about M's attachment (or lack thereof), they'll try to do some rearranging to give her a more stable environment - it's in their best interest, after all, to not have a freaked-out babe on their hands...

So we're in stasis, playing another round of "wait & see" with Tartlet's cold. The snot dam suddenly broke last night, and he's blowing delightful mucus bubbles dry.gif We propped up the end of his mattress, which seemed to help, but he was still up every 3 hours. At this point, though, I figure the extra hydration's a good thing, so I'm letting him nurse all he wants. The ped was kind, but vague - there's only so much she can get without seeing him in person. No red flags, though, so I think we'll try & ride it out til Saturday, at least, when I can get him to the doc's without having to bail on work again.

On a lighter note, Tartlet spent last night under his very own tiny feather duvet - I don't know why this makes my toes curl with glee, but it does...
moxiegirl
Tart- that;s exactly what I plan on doing. Moxette is a very easy baby, and I suspect what you described is exactly what the deal is.

With the feather duvet, maybe he's reacting to that? Runny nose maybe allergy? Otherwise, how's the SIL?
tart
Much, much better this morning, thanks Mox! The fever's completely gone, the hacking cough is dying down, and the snot fountain has slowed to a manageable dribble - and his top gums are huge. Hell-O, top teeth! Tartman even managed to elicit a round of giggle this morning, so I think we're nearly out of the woods. Thanks for all your advice, ladies - so, at what point in the arc of mother hood do we stop cataloging the minutiae of our child's illnesses? blink.gif
anoushh
My mother recently said (in response to my comment about checking to make sure notbob is breathing) that she still checks me. I'm 40.

Anyway, if notbob has a motto in life right now it's "Sleep? I don't need no stinkin' sleep!"

And I'm very, very sorry to say that there's still something wrong with the area where I had the tear with his birth. I despair.

Sorry--I hate being all me, me, me. He's up now and I have to go, though.
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