Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: is it called a crush because that's what it does to you?
The BUST Lounge > Forums > The Mating Game
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58
auralpoison
AW, GB, Weirdos/Screamers debate? That's fuckin' HOT. H. O. T. T. You warrant the extra T. I'm not even queer & I'd totally have sex with you for that alone.

IDB (I'm sorry, your name is too damned long, so I'm using my shorthand.) Chemistry is good! HB is a chemist & I rely upon it heavily!
greenbean
Wow, AP, I feel like the prettiest girl in the room! (blushing)

Yeah, I was pretty proud of myself for knowing my L.A punk rock history better than an actual L.A punk. You know, these past couple years I've been trying to ween myself off of punker boys, cuz they tend to have Peter Pan syndrom pretty bad...but gosh darnit, boys sporting tattoos and eye-glasses and tight-ass pants are the only type of American boy I ever seem to fall for. rolleyes.gif
auralpoison
Um, they're hot. I went out a few months back & surveyed the room. There were three guys I found imminently fuckable on purely physical grounds. Three variations on the weird eyeglasses, ill-fitting trousers, tattooed freak boy list. I should never have met Henry Rollins when I was twelve. Absolutely ruined me.
datagirl
I have a crush on my vet........I had to take my rattie in yesterday for a respitory infection and there he was.
Oh my god,I have to go back in a week and totally want to ask him out.I know it's totally unethical but anyone who can save the life of anything is down in my book.Plus he is very,very sexy.

BTY I went out with firstcrush on Saturday to an open air cinema.It sucked.He sux.As soon as he came into my apartment (all sweaty, but in a bad way) he wanted to fuck.ugh.I nearly called it off there and then.He does nothing for me anymore.
Frenchcrush comes back from overseas next week...........smile.gif
auralpoison
Which guy is first crush? The Doctor crush or the possum crush?
datagirl
AP, ugh neither.....Firstcrush is a guy I met first on a dating site.Possum and Doctor are long gone.......
Firstcrush was a guy I slept with on a first date and got really hung up on.Anyway, it no longer matters because he sux and I won't be seeing him again.....se la vi or whatever...smile.gif
auralpoison
Girl, we go through 'em like tissues, I just needed to clarify!
greenbean
Heh, well someone pass me a tissue cuz I ain't got any!

Haven't run into Bike Boy again yet, and no new ones to report.

Data, I had a crush on my vet too, until he insisted that my cat needs $600 worth of dental work.

(AP, Henry Rollins has a radio show here in L.A!)
anna k
I was born in the early eighties, so I first saw Henry in the "Liar" video. I was thinking, "Who the hell is that?!"

He seems like he can borderline between being cool and being douchey. He's fun to listen to, especially when he lets his geek flag fly (like singing along to "Funkytown").
sixelacat
crusheeeeeez!

Okay, first things first since I been outta the loop for so long:

AP, glad you still get your flirt on even with HB on the scene. Mcrush: totally understand that fucking around with each others' heads. Fun and fascinating, like if you had a part of your brain exposed you'd totally keep poking it to see what would happen. Actively engaging all your crushes sounds totally a part of your personality and not fucked up at all-there's no reason not to. Shit, I flirt with men and we all know that isn't going anywhere......

GB, I love love love that you are/were part of a punk bike gang. Potential crush sounds hot, just for the thumbwar alone! I hope you bump into him soon.

Ophelia, did you jump your workcrush yet? Y'know, for closure.....

data, it is totally NOT unethical to ask out your vet! Shit, he's not your priest, he takes care of your dog (no disrespect for your rottie). PERFECT flirting opportunity.....

So, I don't have any viable crushes right now (and I have totally sworn off the weekly hook-up for the next six weeks or so under the theory that I can redirect my "energy" to packing/moving/focusing on work....which is probably a shite theory as I'm already, um, frustrated) BUT, I have developed a crush on my totally hetero, married, boss's boss. She is soooo freakin' hot! Everybody shakes when she walks into the office because she is extremely no-bullshit in charge, and will walk up to any and everybody and start firing questions, but always shit they should know and never unfriendly, just direct. I totally want to take her on. I find myself making excuses just to walk by/hover near the manager's office when she is in there. Gah.

auralpoison
Dude, Hank's everybody's favourite coroporate whore! He rides the line between total hotness & total suck, but he OWNS it. That's why he works for me. He's not afraid to be not cool. Hank has done lots of crap stuff. Johnny Mnemonic? The Chase? The New Guy? He was Vanilla Ice in the Pop Goes the Weasel video, for fuck's sake! He was even thisclose to having the role of the punchdrunk boxer in Death To Smoochy & ghods know what a piece of shit that was. But the tale of it? PRICELESS. His spoken word is so painfully embarrassing sometimes that I can't believe that he gets up there & drops it with such humour & aplomb. He puts all the money he earns back into putting out books by writers that have been overlooked. He's introduced me to some amazing poetry & has put out books by the likes of Nick Cave. And he was nice to me every single time I met him, so I'm willing to cut him some slack. Plus, you *know* he looks hot naked even if he is pocket-sized short. He probably has tiny tackle under those big black shorts, but I could overlook it for the rippling muscles. Not my thing usually, but when you see him perform... yeah that's all you can think about. What it would be like to have your hands on all of that during the throes of passion...

Sixel, had the bestest might with HB over the weekend! I've been stressing about the move, so he whisked me away. He'd gone up to Boulder & went to the Lush store & bought me two Ceridwen's Cauldron's & made me take a soak cos I've been bitching about how dry my skin has been. He scrubbed me up with the funny, grainy little sacks. Even admitted that he'd had to question the Lush ladies over what his itchy gf might like & got me some Dream Cream & a, ahem, massage bar. He ordered us some Indian food cos he knew I'd been craving it. He *hates* Indian food except for samosas. He could eat a truckload of them. When I stopped him at his third, he told me that I, "Suck diddley-uck." YES! I am wearing him down, he's been watching cartoons on his own! HB rented a bunch of movies & we watched "Little Miss Sunshine", which he'd never seen. When Olive's big dance number came on, I almost fell out of his lap he was laughing so hard. He scratched my back until I was a warm puddle of goo, I blew him, & we went to bed cos I was to tired to fuck. That was left to the morning.

I still feel weird about all the boys, though. I haven't done anything technically wrong, but one of the girls in my women's group got all in my face because I was "emotionally cheating." This pissed me off. I'm not invested in these boys, I just toy with them for my own amusement & it's not like they're not getting anything out of it. It's just fun, not the whole enchilada, I've not so much as even touched a one of them. Then she brought her whole, "Well, my hubby & I are Pagans & blah blah blah." She's lucky I didn't punch her in the grille. I am a lady, afterall.
p_176
hey all -
what is going on with guys who don't like you enough to date you but they like you enough to f*ck you??
i seem to be plagued with that type of guy.
wombat
/delurks

Re: Rollins.

5' 10" ain't "short" to me. I met him in the 80s and climbed on him in the dressing room wink.gif (brag).
His tackle is also right-sized. Couldn't believe nobody else walked back there!!

I think his corporate whoring is okay except he had made fun of others for doing it. Before *h*e started doing it. But, I'm over it.

He's smart and seems to be pushing people toward freedom -- can only be good, right?

I think it's great to flirt back and forth with people. It's good for the ego, it's fun. I stopped flirting with my gay male friends after some girls criticized me, and ya know what? They felt bad I wasn't flirting with them anymore. And hey, nobody was getting hurt. Do what you like.

/relurks.
datagirl
Frenchcrush sent me an email from Hanoi yesterday.I still havent replied.I have written it a million times but I can't get it to sound right.I know I'm thinking too much.
The email wasn't really personal.Just sort of like " the people,food,shopping ect are fantastic."

But he still took the time to message me.So I'm happy about that.He's just hot is all. smile.gif

stargazer
AP, that lady is lucky you didn't punch her in her grill. nothing wrong with flirting. nothing wrong with wanting to be admired by young bucks that don't have a chance. i feels you.

oh, and add me to the rollins crush thing.

sixelacat...yeah, a take charge woman is hawt. what can't you love!?! definitely sexy.

datagirl, you have more crushes than me! good to see frenchman emailed you.

p_176, men will go for any woman willing to give it up. make 'em work for you. remember AP's mantra...executive cock.

even though i'm tired as all get out, i still had to stop in to talk about Bcrush. i don't know if i mentioned him much. he's a friend. someone i met through another friend. nothing big. but, he was someone that just grew on me. i just knew i liked it when he was around. he would make me laugh and smile. i like the way he tells stories. it is like one day, i realized..."oh, i think i like him." but, he's a friend with a major crush on another friend at the time. he would do things though i never understood. like one time, he wanted to makeout with me. and i'm like no (yes, i do have restraint). he would touch me, put his hand in the back pocket of my jeans, stroke my back or legs--the man is great with touching. thing was...i didn't want things to be that way with Bcrush. i wanted him to get to know me. see, if he was just any 'ol joe, then i would've jumped his bones in a heartbeat, but i liked him as a friend and didn't want to complicate things.

anywho...i wrote him off this summer. then, i realized i was being an ass. he called me last week and we chatted. he has such a nice voice on the phone. as i was away....i was thinking how i need to stop entertaining such thoughts of liking him (he lives in another state, he is just a friend, yada, yada, yada)--only to have a message from him on my answering machine today. rats. damn crushes. ruin my life i tell you!!


Kal!!! great to have you back!! biggrin.gif *does happy dance*

imdancingbarefoot~what's the 411 with crush du jour?? i'm glad he called you!!
p_176
stargazer - i know this - but it kills me because i have not slept with these guys - and i'm not sure what it is in my general attitude that makes them think i'd only want sex and not a relationship. i'm pretty clear that i want something more than just f*cking.....i mean, as nice as it is, i've been in too many relationships where the guy cared absolutely nothing about my needs/wants.
greenbean
Sixel, we've missed you!

Yeah, there is a good possibility I'll run into my potential crush tomorrow at a bike thing (mouse, if you're lurking, I may have an extra bike if you wanna come!). I ran into a friend of his yesterdya and casually mentioned that we should all meet up. I'm careful not to be all "I like you friend! I like your friend!" cuz I not totally sure if I do yet. He actually isnt all that hot but I'm a big fan of not-so-hot guys that have bold and silly personalities. (I could just here our vows now, "it was love at first thumbwar!" tongue.gif) But, hey, if not him, there will apparantly be a thousand other bike guys at this thing!! *drool*

Stargazer, I always have that problem with guy friends. I hate the "is it worth complicating things" issue. sometimes it is, sometimes it isnt, you just have to go with your gut!

P_176, I dunno what advice to give you, I guess just keep looking? unsure.gif
stargazer
greenbean~ah, who doesn't love a guy with a great personality. i've met too many great looking guys totally lacking in the depth department. Bcrush is actually that way. i like the type of guys that grow on you. the guys i fall for right away are always a drag.

p_176~yeah, i know what you mean. i am usually "friend" girl or "fun" girl (and you know what i mean by fun), but i think it is a sign that these guys are not for you. it hurts but it is a good clearing out process of potential shitty guys. i know i'm a fun person and at the same time i know there is more to me. a relationship takes time to build. so, keep looking for some hot guys.

i forgot to mention that my traveling was good for alot of insta-crushes. adorable geeky guys in harvard square. in fact, alot of cute guys in boston. saw some cuties in austin too. it was great to get my juices going again after being on hiatus.
starshine
So I have to jump in and completely agree about the guys with the great personality...relationships with them always seem a 1000 times more rewarding and interesting.

And I also have a brand new crush that has been, well, crushing me, I think cause it's been a while since I've had a good one. Let's call him Claud, cause well, that's close to his real name....anyways I know him from school, we've had the occasional chat in the past year, nothing really memorable, but he always says hi whenever I see him. And then yesterday, we are both in the caf at the same time, and spend an hour and a half talking about our research, life, home, everything - he has an amazing personality, and is cute in that kinda dorky but really cool and laid back way which just takes me out every time! So he has my email cause I asked him to pass on some of his research that's similar to mine (dorky, I know, but whatever) and as we're leaving he says he'll email me to get together this weekend. Which is wonderful! But now, I'm checking my email every two seconds, which is completely and utterly obsessive and driving me nuts!!! I forgot how much I love crushes!!! It's really been too long since I've had a good one....

And I'll jump on the Henry Rollins bandwagon as well. I've been crushing on him since I first saw him on tv in some music video that I have no idea what it was, I just loved how hot and muscly he was/is. It was sometime back when Marky Mark was still Marky Mark and doing those fine underwear ads....now there's another fine crush of mine, but I've rambled on enough already.... rolleyes.gif
greenbean
AAAAAAAAaaaaaaarrrrggg!

So, I had a mini disaster last night!!! mad.gif
My roommates and I were going to drive our bikes to the bike event instead of taking the metro, because we were running late and didnt think we'd make it in time to catch the whole crowd before they left. Well, we hastily affixed a bike rack to the car and took off. We got about a mile down the road, and THUD!!! the bike rack totally snapped off the car and our bikes were thrown across the road. Thank GAWD it didnt cause an accident, but the impact fucked with all of our bikes one way or another. I was soooo bummed.

Potential crush called me shortly after that happened (got my number through a mutual friend) and asked if I was there. I told him what happened and that I couldnt make it, and he said we'll have to meet up at the next ride. Then he offered to help fix my bike, but stupid me had a knee-jerk reaction and said "no thats ok" (??? why did I say no????!!!)

So I spent my evening stewing, watched the devil wears prada with my roomies (my BOY roomies, who liked the movie more than me! go figure). I told them about potential crush and the thumbwar story, and how I really was hoping to see him that night. Then I was all, "well, he probably just wants to friends". My roomie #1 was all, "dude, dont be naive. He thumbwared you. He totally had intercourse on the brain." and roomie #2 is all "yeah, I'm very careful around girls I'm not interested in, I wouldnt give them the wrong idea with a thumbwar." Ha! It was so funny how seriously analyzed this tiny encounter has gotten. I feel like I'm in junior high again!

ah, stargazer, I love insta-crushies! So much easier when you are away from home.

starshine, dorks are cute. Did you ever get an email?
starshine
Hey Greenbean, that sucks about your bike! And I'm always doing that too with the super independent no thanks not realizing that it doesn't really matter if I don't need the help, sometimes it's nice just to have it...though for some rather alterior motives cool.gif Do you have his number? cause you can always call and change your mind, and that little upfrontness is often nice.

And no, the boy didn't email yet. I so don't get why guys do that!? Make a big deal out of calling or whatever, make an extra point of saying they will, and then they don't. And it seems to be happening more lately (okay, this is only the second time in two months, and he may just not have emailed yet), and I have this complete and utter complex it's because I'm applying to be a police officer, and for some reason, that threatens boys. it's amazing just how much sometimes, which I completely don't get, but whatever. rolleyes.gif



zoya
greenbean - I agree with starshine, why dont' you call him up and ask if he will help you after all? No harm in that, you could just say exactly that - "hey, I was wondering if you could help me with my bike after all" he went out of his way to get your phone number, so I think it would be perfectly plausible for you to get his. He kinda set the ball rolling...
opheliathemuse
okay, been out of the loop because I have a crush. Um, big one. Like, I'm crazynuts about him. He calls me Darlin and Beautiful and opens doors for me. He says I adore you and tells me how much he likes me continually. He painted two pictures while thinking about me and calls me his very own muse. I've written three poems thinking of him, possibly another came out. Did I mention We've only technically been on two dates? But we spent all night together both nights? and can't stop texting and iming and emailing? It's getting annoying to other people I'm sure. But. I had to tell someone. Because I have to allow myself to call it only a crush as of yet.

with starshine and zoya, GB!

(hi, starshine, btw =) )
zoya
oh, in my world - shyguy still emails, who knows.. i won't have the opportunity to see him again for about a month, so who knows. I also have a crush on someone who is 150% unavailable. We actually talked about it and I'm hoping we can be friends as opposed to just backing completely off being around one another, cause he's a swell guy. Other than that, I had a crush on a couple cute young things that are involved in the project I'm working on, but only just visual / talk sometimes crushes. I'm pretty over the hook up kind of crush with the disposable boys like Mr. HottyMcHottHott from last year (although he and I have gotten to be good friends)

so that's it for me.

OK, ophelia, I'll call it a "crush" wink.gif
stargazer
greenbean~i agree with the others. call him.

starshine~yeah, guys say that and then surprise you the next minute.

ophelia~wow. sounds awesome. lots of flirting going on, huh? cool.

Bcrush called me this week. been playing phone tag. nothing big. eeck. crushes. when will it end...
anna k
I see the Pharrell Williams-looking guard around a lot. I like him, he's a cool guy. I like having a small crush, it's fun when I see him lurking around.

I read the Myspace blogs of boys I used to like, and I had a dream about IMing them and talking like we were friends. It felt really good, and I was disappointed when I realized it wasn't real.

I like seeing this local comedian when he performs in an improv show on weekends. He's very attractive and funny, but comedians who are funny get tons of play.
sixelacat
GB, fie on the "curse" of being independent: "no, I don't need help with my bike, but since I am too bummed about what happened to tell you to come over to hang out anyway, you should read my mind and maybe just show up with a nice bottle of wine and a thumbwar scorecard...." LOL! I hate it when I do that stuff too! And I agree with the suggestions to call him up and tell him to come hang out already, sounds like he would at least be a fun friend.

Ophelia! You ARE the muse! Congrats on inspiring new art! (this counts as generally making the world a better place, you know....)

stargazer, yay for getting to scope out out-of-town crushworthies!

*flashes bum at idiot pagan girl trying to make AP just like her* Repeat after me: Flirting is fun and harmless, flirting is fun and harmless.....

Okay, and now I need to learn how not to flirt. I caught myself doing it talking to ExecutiveBossLady about a meeting, and that could turn out to be VERY embarrassing.....I need something shiny to distract myself....

flirting is mostly harmless, flirting is mostly harmless
auralpoison
It's so fucked up, though! I can't not flirt. It's impossible. If they're pretty & shiny, I'm flirting. Maybe I should buy a yoyo, yeah?

The Strange's wife is out of town. He is pressing *really* hard for a hook up. "You're married & I'm not a whore."
stargazer
dude, i think i need something shiny too for a distraction. flirting is harmless. i like to get off on flirting at work, especially with customers. one of my managers and i will joke how we'll flirt with anyone, man or woman. hey, we gotta makes sales. it is funny when you are single at an outing and you are talking to a man who is in a relationship. their ladies are always giving me the eye. funny. i'm thinking, "uh, you have nothing to worry about. i don't like to steal the merchandise." the mens usually like the attention. i can't help it that i'm a flirt. i'm not the shy and demure type.

AP, i would be turned off by the strange. what kind of man looks for a hook up with his wife out of town? a man-whore. that's who. what a loser. thank maude you have HB.
opheliathemuse
oh man, more than flirting stargazer =) We got um, naked on our first date and he's the one who said (quite rightly) that we shouldn't sleep together yet. The second date we played more, and a little more commenced, but ultimately I think we're waiting a little because he seems surprised by his emotional attachment to me? I don't know. Eeep. In a good way.
/end gush

yes, I can't help but want to flirt too...shiny pretty shiny and I want to make them mine, even if they are only mine for 5 minutes of talking.

Thank you, sixela!! heeeee!

AP, The Strange is just being gross. You are a lady, not some cheap hooker.

Anna, why don't you message one of those guys? And why are you afraid of being with someone who gets a lot of play? Or is it that they cheat?

Ah, I'm sorry to hear it Zoya. Nonetheless, I'm sure you will attract them in like bees to honey soon enough. You seem to.

How are things, GB??

Stargazer, I do the same thing, just with my coworkers! They are just there for fun and distraction....
Anything new for you?

How's datagirl? and p_176?

Starshine, any crushes to report?
anna k
QUOTE
Anna, why don't you message one of those guys? And why are you afraid of being with someone who gets a lot of play? Or is it that they cheat?


I don't want to go after someone who is already popular and gets tons of girls, I would feel like a groupie.

I messaged one of the guys a few years ago and didn't get a response, so it makes me feel like a dork. The other guy is his friend, and I don't want to come off as a freak.
greenbean
HA! Sixel I love you. Thats totally how I wish things would have went.

OPhelia "eeep" indeed! I'm jealous.

Coincidently, I'm listening to an NPR show about gambling and risk accessment, and its really resonating with me. Yes, I do have Potential crush's number. But I can't help weighing the risk vs. benefit of calling him. See, I just moved to this city and I don't really have friends yet. I know some people that I have hung out with, but not close *friends*. Potential crush is part of a group that I want to be friends with, so I feel like that comes first, you know? I guess I'm afraid of asking him out, then realizing that we DON'T click, and then it burning the bridge to keep hanging with that group. I'm just hoping for another event to come up where I can see him without it feeling like a date.

Other times I'm like "Hell! I need to get LAID. Who needs friends?!" heh. We'll see which desire wins out.
shinymoonrox
Hello everyone,

I'm coming out of lurking mode just to update things a bit.

Ophelia- I'm sooo excited for you.

anna_k- I totally understand where you're coming from about being with a guy that gets all the girls. You just feel like he's going to naturally think that you're going to fall for him like the rest of his "groupies."

This brings me to my latest update about a crush. So just to give a quick run down...this crush that I had back in middle school and early high school, became friends last year when we randomly ran into each other at college. This was an extreme coincidence because my university is out of state and none of my friends from high school go here. Plus this guy and I had never really been friends, but we had always had mutual friends. For the past 3 years, we've constantly met up with one another in various places. I would see him, but he wouldn't see me or vice versa.

So then last year, he acknowledged from across the street, and we both going through rough relationships at the moment. We exchanged numbers and didn't contact one another until six months later. At that time, I found out that he had moved to nearby city and was going to another branch of the university. We tried hanging out a few times but it never worked out (Only because I was constantly avoiding him because I was shy around him, in person.). Then he became aware of his good looks and became one of those "groupie" guys. Whenever we'd chat, we'd talk for hours and hours. It seemed as though we never ran out of things to talk about. Later on, I admitted I had a crush, he didn't feel the same. We remained friends.

Flash forward, last november, during one of my text convos, we had bit of a misunderstanding and never really talked after that.

So yesterday, who emails me? Him. I emailed him back. He hasn't responded. So I guess we'll see what happens. He has like a ton more girl friends since the last time we talked. Maybe this time I'll give him a chance.

Just giving you guys and update and letting you guys know I'm still here....lurking.
auralpoison
Go for it Shiny! Nothing ventured & all that. He may have groupies, but I figure that as a Bustie you could turn his head so far he won't know what hit him!

*That* guy. Mr. Girls Fall At My Feet. Total indifference is the only tack to take. Katie & Star have actually seen the old Jcrush & can attest to the fact that he is indeed, hot shit. Chicks' panties practically flew off in his presence. Me? I played it cool & had him eating out of my palm. It's like the Tao of Steve. They chase that which retreats. He was always telling me how cool I was & doing shit for me. I kinda miss him, but not that much.

GO, Ophelia! Woohoo! We wants details!

Greenbean: Call that boy! That fella did not just waste a thumbwar on you. Back in the day I dated a guy that I'd leg wrestled with while a bunch of us were stoned & hanging out in a bed in a friend's cabin. Apparently he'd liked me for some time, but I was clueless. After twenty minutes of rolling around & getting sweaty, he wound up on top & the rest was history. Even if it doesn't work out, I doubt it would preclude rolling with those people. It might be awkward a time or two, but ya'll will get over it.

Stragazer, Stargazer, rock that Bcrush, girl. We want the dirt! No more phonetag, hook that shit up!

Data, Frenchie back yet? Did he bring you back something cool from Hanoi? Something kinky maybe?

Starshine, you ever get that email from the delightful dork?

Zoya, I got one thing to say, "Are you gonna be my girl?" You know you wanna!

*AP is on bended knee, cap in hand, batting eyelashes furiously* Sixela, will you be my imaginary girlfriend?



zoya
you know what? I think, fuck it. it's all about perception. if we weren't into these guys for more than friends, (ie: having a crush) we'd be calling them, bugging them to hang out, and not giving a shit what they thought even if 60 bazillion other girls were into them. I think it's just getting in the head space where it's not so important what the outcome is and just doing it. you never know.

re: anna_k - who cares if he gets all the girls. Ain't about him. it's about you. you wanna hang with him, hang with him. no harm no foul. Just remember, you can't get played if you're not playing. so hang out, but don't play. Just be yourself.

Greenbean - remember the perception thing. I mean, if you didn't give a shit about him as potentially more than a friend, you'd be calling his ass up to be one of your ins to a new group of friends. So just do it.

Sorry, I'm feeling a little militant tonight.

AP - of course! because you look so fine that I really wanna make you mine!!
greenbean
Thanks for the advice guys,! and Zoya don't worry, I like the militant discipline, (are you wearing a green beret by any chance? cuz that'd be hot).

I know I should just call him to do a *friend* thing. I mean hell, I do have the perfect excuse, I'm new here! I'll do it by this weekend I swear!


Shiny and Anna, I agree, just act like you just wanna be friends with the dudes. Put 'em in their place!
p_176
hi ladies - glad to see folks are doing well. i have been awol for a bit - just working a lot, esp at the pt job.
quick updates - had a one nighter with a friend (who is seeing someone long distance but they're not exclusive, apparently) ..... i never really thought about getting serious with him so no big deal.
indian guy - have not heard from him, even though he's still visiting/updating various online profiles (like friendster), so i guess he's just not into me :-/
another indian guy i dated briefly in the fall emailed recently, wanting a friends-with-benefits situation, i told him to go jerk off alone.
the guy who lives in VA, he's still around .... wants to go out for valentine's day....my main issue with him is the fact that since he's so shy, i can't take him out with me when i meet with my friends, 'cause he's SO uncomfortable. then he complains he never sees me:-/

um. i made out with my exfiance last weekend. we agreed that we sorta want to work things out but realize that it will not be a quick process, esp since we are both looking for new jobs - want to get that settled before deciding on a relationship. also agreed that if a relationship (romantic) does not work out, we still have a good friendship so that's ok too. i seem to be still in love with him, but i KNOW that the problems we had are still not resolved, so i'm not being blind about him.

am chatting with someone new from eharmony. some girl tried to pick me up a week or so ago at a dance club.

that's all for now. not very exciting, i guess.
trying to concentrate more on finding a new job, or doing something on the side, like translating (french or spanish), in addition to my fulltime job, 'cause i am going nowhere fast in my cushy govt job. :-/
culturehandy
*delurks*

So, I have to say, I had a crush on the boy du jour, we were getting close, then he started hanging with some bar star type. All my friends could not believe that he chose her over me (one of those refers to her Vagina as "down there", ugh). I told him how I felt, and haven't talked to him since, and I am surprising okay. Needed to get that off my chest.

*relurks*
anna k
Thanks for the advice. I don't know how to contact the comedian. He doesn't have a website and probably travels around a lot. So i have a mini-crush, it's cool.
stargazer
zoya~i like it when you're all militant! tongue.gif

p_176~well, it seems like you've been pretty busy. i would go out with the shy guy on V-Day. let him treat you. and how shy is this guy? if he was really that shy, then i guess he wouldn't be able to go on a date with you. i'm sure there will be some awkwardness in the beginning until he gets comfortable. is his shyness that much of a problem for you?

opehlia~awwww. sounds nice.

yeah, i think i'm done with Bcrush. he still has a MAJOR crush on a mutual friend of ours. this friend is also a good friend of mine. so yeah, too complicated. i think i'll pull myself out of that triangle. i'll just keep it as friends, which it was since the beginning. oh well. there are always others...
zoya
heh heh. now I just need to take my own advice... no actually I am trying to remember that. I really have no choice at the moment, because I'm working on a project with the person I will freely admit to having a crush on who is 150% unavailable. We're working on being friends, and I have zero choice in that situation, but I think that might actually be a good thing, because I am learning how to just change my perception, take it for what it is, and appreciate someone cool as a friend. Now I just need to take that feeling and transfer it to the next time I meet a really great available guy.

shyguy has dropped of the face of the earth. I was hearing from him just about every day until like 4 days ago. He sent me a pretty typical email for him, and I replied, but I haven't heard back. I shot him a kind of funny email yesterday, with no response, which isn't really like him. whatever. I'd like to see him when I am in the same city as him, but he needs to shit or get off the pot.

exboy and I have been playing phone tag for the last week and a half.

other than that, nothin. I'm too damn busy anyway.
lunasol
I just posted this whole long thing about a crush and then deleted it cause I lost my nerve. I hate that my whole saga with MCrush (remember him, old-timey crushies?) is still searchable on google.

Suffice it to say, I have a crush on a friend and it is bad. Deliciously bad, but bad. I want to do dirty little things to him!
culturehandy
The former crush do jour sent me a text message last night, and now I don't know what to think. I don't really want tobe with him at all, but I don't want to lose him as a friend either.

*sighs*
lunasol
I just talked to my crush. Why's he gotta be so damn cute? He has the brightest green eyes...and a girlfriend. Girlfriendgirlfriendgirlfriend. Must remember that. He doesn't seem to - he brightens up whenever he sees me...


::sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh::
shinymoonrox
p_176, I'm sorry about indian guy. I agree with Star, I would totally go out with shy guy for V-Day. I agree he wouldn't have had the guts to ask you out if he was really shy. Just try to make the best of it. Just tell him to like agree that if he starts to feel left out that he pulls you aside and tells you. He does talk to you when you go out with your friends right?

Hey, this might be bit off topic, but what are fun things to do on valentines day when you don't have someone to spend it with? Or what's fun to with just the girls on V-Day?
greenbean
Lunasol, lots of guys seem so much cuter when they are taken. Probably cuz they are confident you know? I mean, since he already has a girlfriend he doesnt feel all shy and nervous around other girls. Its frustrating I know.

Shiny, I'm worried about Valentines day as well! This is my first one in four years where I dont have a boyfriend. I think I'm going to go to a Mexican wrestling/burlesque show event with some friends, guys and girls. But it might be sold out, ...

I didnt have the guts to call Potential crush but I got his email thru someone and did that instead. I kept it casual, just asked how the event went and if he had any suggestions on where I could get some used bike parts. He responded with some answers and then asked what I had going on this weekend. Eeep! I told him I didnt have plans but he hasnt gotten back to me yet, so not sure if hes gonna ask me out or if he was just making email chat.

Jeez, other then him its been slim pickins for me. I went to a bar with a friend last night and searched the room for someone to flirt with, but no one caught my attention. Me needs some exectutive cock!!!!
zoya
greenbean - just one little bit of input.. if he doesn't get back to you on the whole "what are you doing this weekend" thing, don't take it personally. I've had several conversations with guys about that and it seems that a great deal of the time, while we're assuming they're asking that as some sort of set up to asking us out, they're literally just asking what we're doing as part of conversation. So when we get all bummed that they didn't ask us out, they're thinking "oh, she doesn't know what she's doing this weekend, but I'm sure she'll find something to do" or "oh that's cool, she's going to the art museum" (or whatever we tell them we're doing) - they're not necessarily fishing, like we would be doing if we said that.

I find these days when guys ask me that, I tend to go out of my way to at least say I'm doing something - although I do tend to qualify it with some space in there just in case! (ie: "well, I'm going to this show on Saturday, but other than that, I don't really have anything going on")

guys are just so damned weird!
stargazer
greenbean, dude, just make plans with the potential crush. don't play coy. make plans and invite him along, give him an open invitation. it makes things a little at ease and laidback. group plans are not bad, especially if you are not sure how you feel about potential crush. besides hormone crazy!

shiny, um, don't most single people just drink to drown their sorrows. but, i got nothing to be sorry about. i say flaunt your sassiness, get extra dolled up, and hit the town! do whatever you want!

lunasol, omg!! i remember Mcrush. he's still around. wow. and i know what you mean about being able to stalk crushes via the 'net. terrible.
ImDancingBarefoot
Wow, I have really got a lot of catching up to do! Darn school and getting a car stuff . . . lol

Tomorrow, well, I guess technically it's tonight, I'm going over to see Crush du Jour's new place. He's making me dinner. Finally! ~grins~

p_176
this has not been a great week, relationship wise. not even just mine.
in no particular order, my friend kim told me that she found out last week that her husband has been cheating on her with his exwife, ever since he and the exwife had split - whom he professed to detest and resent. but apparently not enough, since he has been having a sexual relationship with her. :-(
christina's exbf from college emailed her to see how she was doing......unfortunately, it seems as though he is now living in the rockville area - and that may mean that at some point, she'll run into him, since DC social scene is small like baltimore.
the curly haired indian guy (joe) updated all of his online profiles - which would not in and of itself be an issue - but the one profile, he updated it so he could email people on the site. then he proceeds to tell me (again) that he likes me a lot but just has a lot of family stuff to balance out. yeah, i'm thinking that excuse has worn out its welcome. i emailed him back, like, yeah i thought there was mutual interest and all.....i think it's interesting that you updated all your profiles.
and i'm not sure if i told you about the cute guy who works valet at charleston - he was trying to talk to me (and we were having an ok conversation about music and food - nothing major) - but then he starts telling me about his exwife who cheated on him (red flag meaning that he has trust issues), and how he currenlty has a girlfriend that he knowsis taking advantage of him (esp financially - red flag meaning more trust issues) but he won't dump her (red flag: lack of strong character/selfprotection) ..... ew. is. all. i. have. to. say.

it makes me sad to think that there's no one out there trustworthy enough to have a relationship with.

have invited the VA guy to dinner tonight. to clarify - he has not met my friends (or vice versa) - it's fine to start him with a small group of people but he's SO shy, and just looks very uncomfortable when around new people. the only reason we were ok when first dating was because we met on eharmony and conversed over email for a month before actually meeting in person. but he was (is) still really quiet - he's as shy right now as i was in high school.

is it snowing where you all are?
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.