Apr 6 2007, 07:00 PM
*~*~*ring retrieving vibes for p 176*~*~*
zoya, hows SB?
I met a new boy last night! I met a new boy last night! (doing snoopy dance)
I went to a bar with my housemate last night and he kept telling me that this one dude was checking me out. He looked gay to me (cute, good hair, tightass pants) so I insisted he must just be looking at my outfit. My housemate shook his head and told me I was gonna miss out.
A bit later I walked towards the bar and passed cute dude and his buddy. Cute dude stopped me and said "Hey, is this guy bothering you?" pointing to his buddy. "No" I said. "Oh, ok good". Quite an unusual way to get to talk to a girl, but it worked! We ended up talking for a good half hour, and I realized my housemate was right...the dude is totally not gay..and hes in the recording industry! Woot!
I gave him my email when he asked for my number (a habit, altho maybe I should have just given my number) and he hasnt emailed yet but I'm crossing my fingers cuz I need a new crush that has a good job and is AVAILABLE! (altho I guess I dont really know if he is...hmmm)
Have a hot-ass weekend crushies!!
Apr 7 2007, 11:34 AM
Comments about cruelty and saying that you'll never meet someone again are so inappropriate.
p_176, you'll get it back. If he wants to be an asslicker, then fine, but it certainly isn't going to make you want to go back to him. The least he could do is be an adult. What does he expect you to do? Sit back and just accept bad behaviour. Not cool.
GB, sweet on new crushie!
Apr 9 2007, 08:23 AM
good morning ladies -
how was the easter weekend for all? mine was pretty good. it's monday morning and i'm finally sober lol. and, it seems like all the exes are trying to come back! let me explain....
1) the older guy (um....i've been dating this guy off and on for about 6 years now; he's twice my age) came over for dinner, a belated birthday dinner for him, we split 1.5 bottles of wine, chilled, talked. the L word came up. i think he has wanted it to be more serious, but was waiting for me to wrap my mind around it (if it were not for the age difference we probably would have gotten married.....but he's divorced with two kids - with all the ex drama too). so, i had told him years ago that we could date but that it would never progress. problem is, when we have a few drinks, start reminiscing about how we met......that's when we start talking about how it's possible to make it more serious.....but i can never tell my parents about this, so i don't see how it will happen.
2) the marine - the guy i dated *right* after i broke up with my exfiance.....the marine (who is a year older than me)and i had a really bad falling out, which was definitely in part my fault, but then, he would not let me apologize or try to redeem myself, so whatever, right? well, we're on the same chat room sometimes, and started talking within a thread - having a subconversation that no one else knows what we are talking about ..... it escalated to him basically asking, where or if i see it going anywhere? i said, i don't know, is it worth exploring? i think he's moving soon so no worries.
3) the dominican - i dated him before i dated my exfiance - we've remained friends .... i have not talked with him much over the last year, since my ex and i broke up, but all of a sudden, he left a voicemail and wants to catch up. i'd be interested but he's 10 years older with an 8yr old son.....he's always seemed like he wants a relationship but is gunshy since his divorce. there's definitely chemistry between us, but the question is, would he ever open up?
4) the VA guy came up here on friday night, gave me easter gifts (he's thwarting my quest to lose weight 'cause he keeps giving me chocolate) ..... i'm going to his friend's wedding with him next weekend (eeek) ......
5) the-guy-i-used-to-work-with-who-emailed-me-after-a-year (let's call him library guy) - we hung out on saturday night, had some awesome portions.....i don't think i've ever had physical relations with someone who, well, who holds me like he does.....but he's always been sort of the eternal bachelor....methinks he's changing his mind a little but not sure yet.....we always have a great time together whether or not we're nekkid. he's definitely changed in that, when i knew him in college, he was pretty adamant about not wanting to get married/have kids, and now he's simply undecided - like, whoa. that's different. have not talked with him about what being married/having kids means to him, though. and i'm sure he's at least thinking about it, since his friends are starting to get married. and, why did he email me after like, a year? just because he came across my contact info....???
7) the attorney who has my ring told me last week that he'd mail it to me, so hopefully i'll have it within the next day or so. even though he was being an ass, i did not have to stoop to his level and be an ass back, so i apologized for that ONLY. i feel bad when someone else's negative energy passes on to me. but, if for some reason he decides to be a prick and not send the ring, i can file a claim with my insurance and at least get the money back.
i think that's it.
i'm still pondering why i want a boyfriend/relationship/marriage.....and i finally sort of came to the conclusion that even though i like being single, and i like being as successful as i am, i am still sort of selfish - i don't have anyone in my life right now that i *need* to consider in my decisions or activities. i feel like i'm always alone - but not lonely. i've pondered what has gone wrong in my most recent dating experiences - and sure lots of times the guy said or did something stupid, but there were some reactions that i had that disturbed me - along the lines of, well, i don't really care what that person says or does because he is not a major part of my life - which is fine esp if the guy is doing something dumb.
but i think it would be nice to have to think about someone other than myself. but, i of course do want someone who will think about and consider me - give and receive.
Apr 12 2007, 07:03 AM
sorry did not mean to kill the thread with my rambling about dumb boys. had dinner with the marine last night, it was fine, no pressure, ok conversation - just catching up.
any news from other busties?
Apr 12 2007, 07:13 AM
I got nothing, things with le man are going. If you'd call it that. I'm growing a little bored of him.
Apr 12 2007, 04:27 PM
I told myself I wasn't going to get interested with any guys for a couple months after my recent break up because I just couldn't imagine jumping back into a relationship especially with all the crap I had to put up with for seven long months. But I've been talking with this guy back and forth for awhile on MySpace who doesn't live far away at all and I'm crushing. Not hardcore yet but it's working it's way there.
He's hot and smart and has traveled all over the world. He may be five years older but we are definitely on the same wave length. Did I mention he was hot?
He literally could have any girl he wants and I was just shocked that he seemed interested in me. I mentioned that I can't casually date two people at the same time without feeling like I'm cheating. And he completely agrees. I also mentioned that he could get just about any girl he wanted. And he replied that he doesn't want just any girl. I haven't met him yet or anything but have been talking back and forth for almost a month. But things did get a little naughty yesterday on the internet and he uhm most certainly is interested. And he hasn't done anything with a girl in six months. And I get the feeling he's not one to mess around. So I'm so confused. I'm not going to rush anything at all and I told him that straight up that I'm not easy even though I love to flirt and tease and he really respected that and said he would be on his best behavior around me. And we even talked about going to the beach when it gets warmer, etc.
It's tough because I really respect him and think he's a very sweet guy. At one point he thought he offended me because I didn't respond to him like usual and was deeply concerned why I disappeared. He doesn't talk about other girls and seems rather busy so I can't imagine him juggling a group of girls around. He's not interested in the whole party scene or club scene as he'd rather hang with his friends.
He made a joke and I didn't understand it at first so when I did he said I just won a prize. So I said I wanted a kiss on the cheek. He was like, butt cheek? Hahaa and I told him when we first meet I want that kiss on the cheek and to not forget. And he said never.
Why of why do crushes drive us girls battie?
Apr 12 2007, 07:58 PM
I'm not sure if Myspace/internet profiles are a blessing or a curse on the dating scene. On one hand you get to see all their interests and what their friends are like...but on the other hand you dont really get to know the person's qualities cuz you get caught up/hung up on the showy stuff.
My new potential crush did email me btw, and I think a date is on the horizon...and I should be stoked...but I found his myspace page and I dont like it! I realize that is a completely juvenille thing to say and perhaps I'm to old to even be on myspace...but Ugg. I'm trying real hard to keep an open mind about people but its hard to get excited about a new guy when I know that his favorite bands are simply mediocre. Of course I am laughing at myself as I write this but its the truth ok?
Dcrush and Ncrush are still in the picture and I am hanging out with both of them tomorrow night. (I mentioned they are close pals right? Heh) I have been very good about not flirting with Ncrush since he has made no motion of picking me over the other girl. I'm fine I guess,..you win some you lose some. Heaven knows whats up with Dcrush. He just seems like he doesnt have a sex drive. I mean, he's single, he SHOULD be over his ex by now, and he knows I'd give it up easy if he wanted it. Yet he doesnt try. Strange boy I tell you.
Apr 12 2007, 09:05 PM
i forgot to share, but i finally told lawyerboy i had a crush on him.
i have to give myself a pat on the back for that even if nothing comes of it. i know there will be a guy out there that thinks i'm pretty nifty.
Apr 12 2007, 09:37 PM
Hi All -
just a quick one, since i haven't been around in awhile.. things with SB are moving along....we're on opposite sides of the globe, so that makes things a bit challenging, but thank god for technology. and overall, things have flowed pretty well. Our schedules may line up a couple of weeks from now to be in the same place, everyone cross some parts for me... I need to get laid!!
(plus I'd just like to spend some time together.... not to mention have him just talk to me a little... haha)
so anyway, there you go.
Apr 18 2007, 03:03 PM
Not really a crush incident, but I thought I would relate a little incident that happened to to me, and who knows.....I might have a crush story to follow..
About 2 weeks back I was at a beach bar, and standing talking to some old mates I notice a beautiful tall girl chatting with her friends. As I am looking over the shoulder of one of my friends, we catch a little eye contact, so I dutifully hold her gaze a little
and for the next 10 minutes we have a little eye-flirt, fun....
About an hour laterI see her and her friends sitting on the stairs to the beach,....I have had a few light drinks, so I go sit next to them, and politely introduce myself....the resultant 'rage' that vented forth was not only mildly intimidating, but a little scary too "This is not a good time to come over here and get smarmy with us, we are talking about YOUR type and at this point we would probably all willingly burn out every males eyes with a burning cigarette!!"
Ok it wasn't HER that said it but one of her mates who I assume has recently been at the receiving end of a bit of hump-n-dump or perhaps the end of an unfulfilling relationship. Sooo, I politely (again, trying to maintain an air of civility) bid them a smiling farewell and limp-walk away
one of them (again, not HER) turns and says "Look, we are really sorry, but maybe later we will come over to where you are, and have a chat" ..What the hell am I supposed to make o this? Anyway, a little later, they lurk over to where I am, but now I am chatting to a girl who I have known for years, we are good friends, I know she has a crush on me, but it is not ever going to go anywhere....they assume that her hanging on me (she enjoys a bit of tipple, ok....she likes a lot) and they seem to get the message that maybe I got scared off by them and started flirting with someone else....I got some dagger-stares, noses get thrust into the air and off they march
So now, although the damage is probably done, I will seek out tall beauty and see how the next meeting goes....I will find her too, I am part man, part bloodhound...I can find people...
Bring on a crush....lord knows I need one
Apr 18 2007, 03:15 PM
Oh dear, Kal, that is HILARIOUS! You should know never to approach a girl in a group! When does that ever
But perhaps you'll be able to chat with her one-on-one sometime soon. Happy stalking!
Apr 18 2007, 09:35 PM
Yeah, I do know that there is 'safety in number' but on the other hand, the brazen confidence to approach the 'group' has been succesful on occasions
And of course, being the well-versed casanova that I am
I am also know that confidence is as much a turn on as my boyish good-looks and charming personality
Jokes aside though, winning over her friends has gotta have some sort of impact right? In this case though, meeting them again in a group would probably see me having a karate-esque type stance just so that I can hopefully retain my sight...
Stalking?? who said anything about stalking.....it's called chasing ones dreams....(love your little sig)
Crushing is cool....happy crush vibes to all
Apr 19 2007, 06:59 AM
Kal, if a man came up to me when I ws with a group of friends, I'd give him major credit, it takes a lot to come and approach someone, nevertheless when they are with a group of people.
I ditched le man, now he is ex boy, because he is a prat. Never had any time, and when he did, he spent ALL his time with his friends, uhhhh, how are you supposed to get to know someone when you dno't get together with them? I'm not at all upset, because about 2 and a half weeks ago, I met another boy, (boy 2), who walked me to my car and gave me a super lovey kiss goodnight. So, we chatted, and I knew that the second I let someone else kiss me and grab at me, things were done. So, I don't have a crush on him, but that's not to say I can't enjoy his company. Hee. So, that's where that stands.
How are all other crushies doing?
Apr 19 2007, 09:06 AM
hey all -
the guy i used to work with at the library - a friend of his was shot in Va Tech's catastrophe on monday and is in the hospital.
the indian guy who lives in alexandria, we're going out to dinner next week.
the VA guy, his friends want to meet me. i told him to schedule it but he has not so far.
nothing much else is going on. i'm not feeling well - on antibiotics until sunday - the medicine really downs me, energy-wise. so it's frustrating - i'm trying to redevelop some former interests and some new ones, now that i have more time, 'cause i feel so boring. been doing lots of reflecting lately.
Apr 23 2007, 11:31 AM
how was the weekend for everyone?
Apr 23 2007, 03:03 PM
Things have been really weird. Things with SB had been moving along great, like progressing amazingly well.. until last week, when he just dropped off the face of the earth. No call, he's gone off IM, nothing. I left a message on his cell phone yesterday, and no response. He's been having some major work issues, namely that he might get laid off, and that would completely fuck the plans we had to meet up this week when he's supposed to be in town. I assume that he did get laid off, because I've heard nothing from him. But shit, you'd think he'd call. Things were going amazingly well. We were talking almost every day. and now, nothing. Literally overnight. I realize he's probably completely spun about this, but shit. The thing is, there is no definition to our relationship. I had planned on bringing it up when I saw him next and it would have been the totally appropriate time. So not only is this just out of left field, it just really fucking sucks because there is no solidification as to where we stand. It feels like the distance was getting smaller for him, and now it's gotten big again - huge, even. But to me, you just make things work. I don't know why he's just dropped off all contact. I don't know. I'm really confused.
Apr 23 2007, 10:44 PM
Crush has asked me out via Myspace.
Mutual friend has told me that the ex still has feelings for me (feelings I return).
All in one day. What the fuck do I do?!
Apr 24 2007, 06:46 AM
Edie, do both!
p_176, sounds promising.
I have no crushies right now, I'm getting portions, but not from a guy that I have romantic feelings for.
That's all on my end.
Apr 24 2007, 11:17 AM
I have a huge huge crush but I live with my boyfriend.
I go to live band karaoke on Monday night with my girlfriends, and have been going for about 2 years. Its at the casino but kind of a big thing with alot of people and stuff. Big following.
Well, I was single last year and slept with the bass player. That ended oddly and with me getting hurt but we still go to the karaoke and I am on speaking terms with Bassist. But since the begining I have really liked the emcee. He is so cute and funny and bla bla bla. We DIDNT do anything because of what I did with his friend, the bass player of the band and now we are really good friends. Hes like a best guyfriend. A really incredibly sexy one.
But NOW a year down the line, he is blatantly hitting on me (friendly? Sexily? Is sexily a word?) and driving me crazy. I still have an enormous crush on this guy friend. Example - last night someone was singing the alicia keys song "If i aint got you" and he was standing near me and decided to sing me his new rendition of it which went something like "If i aint got this naughty naughty ass babyyyyyyy!" and did a big theathrical spank on me. It went on for awhile with just me laughing through his whole song and then at the end hes like "aw, Im just kidding...no im not" and he ran back up onstage.
Hes on a TV show so I cant say name of post picture but I soooo wish I could.
Just so youd all know what Im fighting with here.
Anyway, if this doesnt make sense or I sound lik a 15 year old girl Im sorry. I was out til 2am at this fuckin karaoke thing. (go to work at 7am) And the only reason I couldnt leave was this dude. I love his friendship but MAN he makes me tingle in my girly parts!
Apr 24 2007, 11:20 AM
quick news - the attorney i thought had potential (gosh i feel so dumb for thinking that now) - it turns out that he was not only trying to flirt with my friend, but he also hooked up with another of my friends, and all the while was trying to find out about yet other girls (including my other friend's girlfriend). since we are all involved with the same social group, we were able to file a complaint against this guy with the board, and they issued him a warning. hopefully he'll disappear.
Apr 24 2007, 01:17 PM
so I thought that you know, if i stopped sleeping with this boy, i'd like him less and we could be friends. Nope. Because I'm utterly infatuated with his mind. he's interesting and smart and creative- and yet sexy as all hell. Except for the poem he wrote that seems to indicate he has something resembling herpes. But I haven't seen much of him lately and I was sad and about to write him off (I had deleted his number after I drunk-dialed, so if he didn't call, I couldn't even if I wanted to) and then he contacted me for a walk. Which I said couldn't be today but had to be wednesday. now I'm giddy and excited and somebody shoot me. I want to be clear-eyed and level-headed. Argh!
And why is it that I get along perfectly with guys who have girlfriends. My very best friend had a girlfriend. I'm interested in them in the most platonic way, but it's bizarre.
I think, daisyjane, your crush should stay that way. Milk it!! It sounds like a lot of fun and having a sexy boy around can make a night. (Just don't bring him home
And p176, I think that SUCKS. I'm stoked you filed a complaint against the guy. Usually there isn't much to be done but ostracize that type of guy.
Apr 25 2007, 12:35 PM
p_176 good for you on reporting douche bag attorney.
Glass, what exactly did the poen say? Something resembling herpes? How can you put that into a poem, well I suppose if it were bad teenage poetry.
I'm still without crushies. I kind of miss it.
Apr 25 2007, 02:23 PM
"I think of you while I'm drinking slurpees
wishing I hadn't given you herpes..."
sorry, I have a sick sense of humor...
Apr 25 2007, 02:27 PM
Zoya, I love it!
Apr 25 2007, 02:39 PM
"I think of you while I'm drinking slurpees
wishing I hadn't given you herpes...
It may have been one night with those groupies
no, wait, that night I had the droopies.."
Apr 25 2007, 04:16 PM
He included the words, "feigning herpes." and "would you like to see the sore?" I'd post it, but somehow... well, I could get BUSTed and that would be rather awkward. "So I found my poem on a forum..." "Oh yeah, I was just trying to figure out if you actually had herpes or if it was just the poem." I'll post this instead, from
It's a good poem, and not emo. He does know what he's doing.... in a lot of things.
AND I am going out to a pub with Architect-crush and his friends tomorrow night. I don't know his friends, and I'm only vaguely acquainted with architect. This is a new social situation with me- usually the objective of the bar/pub is to meet boys to buy us girlies drinks. (last time I "won" two tequila shots and a corona- on a Monday night!) So I'm nervous/excited. On the other hand this boy is a drug-user and i'm not. i find him attractive because he's going to Rome in four months to take some architecture classes, mostly involving sketching local arhitecture which is something I would like to do.
It might not be herpes, but just a zit
It shows up on everyone after we do it.
i might be the carrier for that disease
but i know the cure- it's more sex, with Me!!
(disclaimer- I don't have herpes...)
Apr 30 2007, 09:13 PM
Ahh jeez. Just had a sponataneous date-like weekend with a gorgeous Aussie. I'm done for. I'm not sure how the hell I scored him, and everytime he complements me I'm thinking "seriously?!?!". Gah! I'm not sure how long I can keep the facade that I'm cool and confident and not in the least surprised that hes drawn to me....cuz really, I feel like this is all some elaborate prank.
May 1 2007, 12:52 PM
GB you are cool and confident, you snagged crushie!
How are the other crushies today? I've got nothing, I'm not crushin' on anyone. I miss it.
Glass, feigning herpes and would you like to see the sore. umm. Ewww.
May 1 2007, 01:33 PM
hey crushies -
I'm fucking miserable. so turns out the reason SB dropped off the face of the earth was that he was really sick. but he got a hold of me as soon as he felt better and we had been talking like every day last week. Then I had to fucking go and tell him during a really excellent conversation a few days ago that I wanted to pursue a relationship with him. and he said that he just wanted things to be like they are, open, because we don't know at this point when we'll see each other again. Instead of sitting back and just listening and seeing that he actually had a good point, I went into that totaly defensive, trying to convince him mode. it was fucking awful. and we ended up having that "talk" for like 2 hours. ugh. Basically I see now that I was freaking out over not seeing him and wanting to know where we stood -wanting assurance, when where he was coming from is that because it's early in the game and we're not going to see each other soon, he doesn't want to make promises. Which is probably way more realistic - especially considering there is no indication he wants to see anyone else, he just thinks its way too early in the game especially since we can't spend time together, and he wanted to go along and see how things panned out. I think me saying something about what i wanted was not the problem, it was my resistance and the ensuing discussion I pulled us into that was bad.
Now that I have had time to think, I really wanna tell him that I understand where he's coming from and that I just get really frustrated that I can't see him - but he's just not fucking even talking. I saw him online a couple days ago and said hi, he responded and we IMed for a few minutes then he had to go (he was at work) then later on that night I saw him online and said hello. He said he had to make a call but then would ring me. Well, a little while later he went offline and I never heard from him. and I've heard nothing since. I've seen him online, but haven't said anything - I don't want to be pushy and it seems that at this point, the ball is in his court. I'm so fucking upset - it's like I couldn't just be relaxed and trust in something that was really fun and good and going along more or less just fine. I mean, he was consistently keeping in touch and obviously likes me, he was just starting to re-adjust from the whole work shake up, and so I know things were in flux, but just more in a readjustment way.
I feel like I've shifted the whole dynamic and I would give anything to turn back the clock. I can't force him to talk to me, but I really wanna tell him that I do understand. I've thought about emailing, but I don't know when, and I don't wanna sound desperate.
I realize now that everything was just fine, it was just my fucking insecurity and wanting to control the situation and KNOW, instead of letting it flow (which it totally was) that probably made him back the fuck off. this fucking sucks, and I'm fucking miserable.
May 1 2007, 02:35 PM
(((zoya))) I am the same way.
Maybe you should send him an e-mail? Or you could always call him. I think that explaining that you understand where he's coming from and so forth would be okay. Or you could (try) and step away for a few days. I know it would be hard, but maybe that would also help.
I think a man's perspective on this would be good right now.
May 2 2007, 12:44 AM
aw, zoya! (((((Zoya)))))) I'd have to vote for an action-through-nonaction sort of approach. Give it/yourself/him a few days to cool down and then get in touch--email seems nice-- to say that you've given it some thought and see his perspective and the value in that approach. You know? But I'm sure you'll make the right decision, whatever it is.
I wanted to pop in because I'm newly single, as of Saturday, and may be doing some serious a-crushin' and a-datin'. I just got back from a date with a dude I met at the gym. Cool guy, but it turns out there's not that chemistry or whatever--on my side. But I think he's digging it. We have sort of iffy tentative lunch plans tomorrow. I can back out b/c of workload and he'll understand, but how do i tell him i don't want to date him, in general? it's been a while! I mean, i have a rough idea of what i'll say, but i'd appreciate some more ideas and input!
May 2 2007, 04:53 AM
hi all - well, it had been a few days since our conversation (it was last week) and it's been a few days that I've been able to turn this over in my head and cool down. I decided to call him today, started off with just a conversation, and then just said what I had to say. Kept it short and simple, like I said before. He said he wasn't freaked out, and I told him that I understood where he was coming from, and that it was reasonable and realistic. and that I just get so frustrated at not being able to see him. He said that it was a big letdown for him too, to not just be unable to see me, but also the whole job situation, etc. We ended up talking for a little over an hour, not about that, but just about stuff. What he's doing, what I'm doing, mostly work. Not a great conversation, and not nearly with as much energy on his end as even last week. It's a bummer, all the little flirty things that he would say - even in the conversation the other night, up until I brought that stuff up, are not there. It feels like he's totally pulled back, is being measured. Like little things he used to tease me about, he just didn't. Like I said, I suspected I changed the dynamic, and it seems so. We talked about when I might be over in Europe working later in the summer, and he mentioned that he'd be into coming over to visit - but it was also somewhat in the context of checking out the project I'll be working on. When I mentioned (twice) that there was a good chance that I would be in the UK for a few weeks prior to that, he was just like "well, we'll work something out" Only a week ago, when I told him that, he was like "hmmmm.." (in a good way) I mean, clearly this guy liked me. Likes me.(?) I mean, can a guy's feelings change that fast, based on a conversation? or is he holding back? or is he holding back because he doesn't want to hurt me? fuck I dunno. I will say, I don't feel like things are over with him. I don't know what sense I have about things, but it doesn't feel like it's over.
I definitely know that the distance thing is a big thing for him, and it did seem that with all the time we thought we'd get to spend together here and there, that the distance was getting smaller for him. And then when everything changed, and we didn't get to see each other at all, and now looks like we won't for a few months, he's pretty much gone back to the distance being really big. The only thing I can say, is that I need to remember that things always work out. they do.
Kalevra, where are you?? need a guy's point of view!
May 2 2007, 05:41 AM
Greenbean, that sounds awesome. Don't question it (yet, anyway) and have fun!
Zoya, I know what you're saying, but even in an established relationship there is ebb and flow in communication. Even if he is pulling back right now a week or so of normal communication and you guys should get into the groove again. Try not to doubt yourself; your feelings are valid too and they're probably better articulated than not. Hopefully the conversation you had will even bode well in the future; I mean ultimately you want to be with someone you can express yourself with (/bad madonna moment). Long distance relationships always exacerbate the need for control anyway IMO.
Btw, I don't suppose you'll be in the UK in July??
Octi, being straightforward is always the most respectful way to go, and if you're sure there's no chemistry now is the time. Maybe say something like 'I'm really not ready to start seeing people yet.' Saves his dignity and is upfront. Easier said than done, I know, but you'll feel better afterwards...
/vicarious living and deadline avoidance
May 2 2007, 02:03 PM
What's going on with DG? I haven't seen her in here lately.
I miss having crushies. Try as I will, it seems that no one adds up. And when I don't give a shit, which is most of the time, still nothing. Oh well, I suppose what matters is that I am happy.
May 2 2007, 02:12 PM
zoya, i'd just say give it time. let things settle a bit. that old exciting dynamic may show up again soon.
hm... thanks for the input, syb. i'm thinking i might do one more get-together (the now rescheduled lunch date) before deciding and letting him know i'm not interested, since we didn't talk too much last night. but i dunno-- i'd probably feel it by now if there were any chemistry, no?
I'm looking forward to a tentative "study date" on monday! different guy-- though he has the same name. one or the other of them better not work out, or this is gonna get too damn complicated
also! i *may* be going out dancing tonight with a friend and her very cute (and very lesbian and very single) gal pal. i have a wee bit of a crush. i would be *so* excited to finally date a woman--!
CH, you may not have crushies, but don't you have awesome frequent portions?? i'd definitely take that!
May 3 2007, 06:44 AM
Octi I do get fairly regular portions. Although at the moment, neither boy is putting out.
May 3 2007, 10:26 AM
CH: What's up with boys not putting out?? It's funny: the stereotype is that men are always after sex-- but I've found myself in plenty of situations where i'm not getting enough portions, even from a boyfriend. Dude, we're hot young ladies, and should be getting all the play we ask for!
(especially when you've got two official sources of it! damn!)
So, I called boy #1 last night and after a brief chat (that was quite flirtatious on his end) I told him that basically he's awesome but I didn't feel that chemistry/connection. we decided to get together for lunch soon anyway to either see if we want to keep hanging as friends or see if any chemistry *does* develop. overall, i felt really good about it! Yay for honesty!
Haven't heard back from boy #2 about the "study date". get on the ball, yo!
Dancing didn't pan out last night-- all of us were waaaay too tired for a night out. Ah well... I know where to find the lady if I ever decide to actually make a move
also- the ex (ex as of saturday) is getting in touch and wanting to talk/see me. i really am lost as to what to do. sometimes i miss him. other times i feel like he's 1.) sort of a jerk and 2.) basically not real compatible with me. i think i need a new crush to work out, to give me the fortitude to keep things *over* with the ex.
zoya, any news?
yes, where IS kal? I always enjoyed his presence here (when i had a partner and thus only lurked). and what of the others? AP, for instance?
May 3 2007, 11:25 AM
Oh, octi, I don't know. It's like they still want a woman to be passive or something. I think that boy 2 is getting a crush on me. I talked to him Tuesday, (I was verrrrrrry high) and he wanted me to get together with him (he was drunk) I said no, I'm not going anywhere. Then he starts talking about how he misses me and how I make him feel good. now, I've never met a man who told me that when we were just having sex, so...
as for Navy Boy, he's never had a friends with benefits before, and he has changed a lot. I mean tons, he so sweet and affectionate and gentle (not how I would have explained him before).
I feel like the guy here. In that traditional stereotype that I only want you for sex and what not, and they are the one's getting feelings and being all shy and shit.
I saw Ap in the okayers thread a little while ago. I'm wondering how DG is doing? and what about p_176, no update on that crushie front.
Octi, possible dates. Sounds promising!
May 3 2007, 01:16 PM
I'm doing online dating again. I need some new crushes and to get back into dating.
Yay for honesty! I liked it when I could be chill with this guy I was dating, even after I told him I didn't feel any physical chemistry. He ended up getting a girlfriend, and we hung out one other time after that, going to a museum with some friends.
On my old crush's Myspace, I saw that he had posted videos of Zach Galifinakis. I wanted to write, "You geek, I wrote an email to Zach asking to interview him for my zine, and he responded yes." The interview didn't happen, but he seemed like a cool guy.
May 3 2007, 05:05 PM
Evening ladies *tips hat*
Yeah, I have been missing here for a while, had some work to contend with (it's seriously cutting into my leaisure time) and also some play....trying to get my lazy butt ready for the rally in Oct.....the first coupla weeks of gym is crappy...but eventually get into it I suppose...
Zoya.....mmm, don't really want to comment for fear of instilling some sort of negative vibe, but the long distance relationship thing is not my cup of tea....unless there is a really strong bond that can endure, that is rare, not impossible.....but rare. Abscence makes the heart grow fonder, but out of sight out of mind is the corollary that is also true....future? Is there one?...realistically. I hate to be the doomsday prophet, but consider it advice if you will. His being distant could be a number of things, could be anything from a bad day at work, or him considering the aforementioned.....distractions can distract to a point of retract.
not getting any from TWO guys?.....mmmm, maybe each of them can smell the scent of the other, like dogs
and the 'territory' has not been decided, or confirmed.... Also, sometimes guys, as much as the opportunistic shaggers we can be, have waning points (pun) where sex is the last thing on our minds...(this is not often....what is said about men thinking about sex at least 30 times a second is TRUE
) Seriously though, humans have differing libido's so that we have to fight for sexual gratification, it makes it soo worth it though, no? Our desires differ to the extent that sometimes we want it hard, fast and now....and other times, slow, passionate and cuddled...trying to meet each others needs is what keeps us all coming back for more...it's all part of The Mating Game
On the crushing front, I am still feeling a little bitch-slapped-by-the-bitch of past, so keeping myself on the "I am a mystery to all, I am silent and forbodeing" path for now. Nonetheless, I seemed to have attracted the attention of a woman who likes the challenge, ....what do I do about it you may ask....? Boots and all baby! We flirt, have dinners, chat on the phone, some kissing (she is an AWESOME kisser, and by jove, that is a great thing, I looove kissing) so we will see...remembering to remind myself "This is not a dress rehearsal, we are only here once"
You all have a good time now, you hear!
May 3 2007, 06:47 PM
Oh Kal, I feel like I guy, I think about sex constantly. I keep the boys apart, and don't see them back to back. I was up front with Navy Boy, saying there was someone, but I don't know if I'm fully prepared to stop sleeping with boy 2. hmmph. Frustrating, that's for sure.
*smooches to crushies*
May 3 2007, 07:20 PM
I talked to my sister and realized that I get more attracted to men the longer I know them, rather than an instant "he's hot, I wanna fuck him." I cruise dating sites and go out to places where twentysomethings hang out at, but I never find anyone I consider attractive. And I've been into guys who looked like John Belushi or Jack Black, I'm not talking about "hot" guys. I just get a feeling like I would be bored or feeling emotionless, thinking "Yeah, he's OK, but I'm not really into him." I liked some lanky rockers I dated, but never got the physical urge to make it more than platonic. I just want to be like other women who can be more turned on by guys or can have sex more uninhibited.
However, I have gotten turned on by another comic I saw at UCB (they have some cute guys there). but he's a minor celebrity.
I talked to a guy just now who I'm going to go out with, and although he sounded as bland as milquetoast on the phone, I'll give him a chance because I haven't dated in a long time and feel bored. His voice just had little emotion or spirit to it, that I can't stand. But I don't feel like being picky.
May 3 2007, 08:58 PM
I love crushes. I hate crushes. I love crushes. I hate crushes.
May 3 2007, 09:23 PM
well.....i responded to some guys ad on craigslist (full disclosure--i met the ex i haven't been able to shake for two years now on craigslist and fell really hard for him. knock it all you want but sometimes things work, and i have had absolutely no fucking luck at all with meeting boys in "real life"). his ad sounded like something i'd write myself. it turns out that he lives pretty far away, but i like his emails a lot and his myspace shows him to be adequately cute. my biggest block is the ex....i feel like we're still not done, but two years of sleeping together after we only dated for like four months is really just ridiculous...and every time i fall for him again, and as much as i still want him and as great as our chemistry is and as good friends as we have become, he WILL NOT date me and i know that's really unhealthy for me and i have to move on. i hate to, but i have to.
anyway, i'm going to see where things with this internet guy go. could be okay, and i've never just sort of casually dated someone so it might be a learning opportunity. i'm not thrilled by him yet, but i keep reminding myself that i wasn't really knocked off my feet by the last guy until the third or fourth time we'd hung out. so, i don't have a crush yet, but i think i might have a potential crush. which is making me both really sad and hopeful at the same time.
god, i don't want to give up my ex......
May 3 2007, 10:03 PM
thanks Kal - what's so frustrating for me, is that we both travel a lot for work - so he is gone anyway (and so am I, even if we lived in the same place it would be that way) The way our schedules were lining up, we were supposed to get to spend quite a few days together this past month - enough to possibly solidify things a bit more, or at least keep interest / chemistry / sex / interaction in person on the up. That's what I mean about how I think that the distance was getting smaller for him - he was realizing we would see each other in person on an every other week basis for a couple months, he was doing things to keep in touch at least every other day, etc. Then the huge shake up with his work and the roller coaster of not knowing if he was going ot get laid off or not, all this while I'm stuck 3000 miles away working and couldn't go anywhere. And then he did get laid off that project. So I know it has been a really big shake up for him and I just get so bitter sometimes because sometimes it feels like the universe just played this cruel joke. He just walked into my life and we are so insanely alike and things were so easy that it's nuts. and we were just like "oh my god, this is lining up perfectly, etc" and then all of a sudden it's like the universe goes "WHAM! haha, you can't have it!!" I feel like (well if I was a guy) I was kicked in the nuts by the universe. It's really hard for me to wrap my head around and I try to stay positive about it and just in general - but it just really pisses me off. I know that the distance is back to being big for him, and he's just figuring, "oh well, this is how it is" (he said as much to me) and pulling back, partially maybe because of hearing the "R" word, partially because he just figures it's too hard. UGH. Anyway, just venting. Thanks for the comment.
May 4 2007, 06:42 AM
Mouse, you do what works for you. I for example don't like sleeping with completely strangers, even if we go through the learing about each other process, if one of my friends knows him, then cool.
GB, what's going on?
May 4 2007, 12:33 PM
I soooo sorry Zoya. I hope yer hanging in there. I think things will work out with a little time.
Its situations like that that freak me out. Like, when you like someone its natural to want to know where things stand, but if you say something you run the risk of scaring them off. It's so messed up.
CH, oh, I'm just crushing on someone I don't want to crush on cuz I'm scared of getting hurt. I've been in this sitch before, and it usually does not end in my favor. Here's the current sitch: when I came to LA I was quite certain I would stay away from the Hollywood scene. Well, *somehow* I found myself right smack in the middle of it last weekend, and this gorgeous Aussie actor walked right up to me to indroduce himself. I put out my hand to shake, and he goes, "no, no, no. Put that down." and instead leans in to kiss my cheek. There were plently of cuter girls around, models even, but he wanted to spend all his time with me. As this is happening I'm thinking, well, this really isnt my scene, and this guy is probably a turd, ....but maybe I'll see how it plays out. Played out quite well actually. We talked loads about music, and he went on and on about how "cool" I am and how hes soooo glad he met me..then later he gave me FANTASTIC oral..the next day we had a great lunch and got to know each other more. After we separated I chalked it up to being a fun weekend and I'll probably never hear from him again.
Well, he hasn't gone away. He's been calling and emailing all week,..and I'm thinking 'crap'. Why am I thinking 'crap'? Because this is the pattern I've been in before with his 'kind': in a way, I'm out of his league, and that is why he is into me right now. I'm tough and independent and "cool", and like he says (and if I had a nickle for everytime I heard this..) "not like other girls". So naturally, he wants to hang out some more. This is mighty tempting...BUT, I know where this is going: the more I expose him too, my "coolness" will rub off on him, and combine that with his charm and looks and growing status and soon enough HE will be out of MY league,..run off with a 5'10" French model and I'll get an infuriating email in a couple of years from him thanking me on "shaping who he is today". Trust me, this has happened to me before.
So yeah, I'm hesitant to get more involved...but he's so cute, how can I say no? Aaarrrrrrgg!!!!
May 4 2007, 12:55 PM
Oh. I see where it is all coming from. I don't crush because I'm the same way, I won't get hurt until I'm well and ready for it.
May 4 2007, 01:34 PM
hey all -
not much crushing going on here. still dating the VA guy (he wants to start sleeping together, and i know that after 6 months of dating, i should probably start taking the lid off the cookie jar, but since he's so innocent, it scares me). had another date or two with the Indian guy who lives in VA...not sure at all what he wants from me - lots of mixed signals, and it does not help that he is a)not a US citizen and b)does not seem to make longterm plans. the guy i used to work with seems to be really busy lately with his job (working doubleshifts etc) and friends (planning trips for BoyScouts and bachelor parties) - nothing going on with him. doing one last month on online dating (eharmony), it's slow - most of the guys i get sent as matches seem to be really socially awkward or in a rush for .... something. am talking to one guy through the guided questions, so we'll see, he lives closer to me than the other guys above do. this other guy i know from salsa dancing, i think wanted to ask me out but chickened out - not my problem. he's a cool guy and all but he's really short (typical stature of a latin man)...
i am well aware that part of my problem right now is that i sorta have an idea of who i am looking for, and you'll never really find your dream guy. but, i guess it's too much to ask for someone who is relatively tall, goodlooking, willing to dance, willing to let me be independent but is also able to take charge because (frankly) sometimes i need/want someone to tell me what to do, instead of my making all the decisions. so far the guys i have met lately - it seems like i'm always in the driver seat. it'd be nice to think someone would take care of me as i would take care of him. :-/
in the meantime, have been in the process of buying a bike (so i can bike to work and for recreation), training at my fulltime job, trying to get my house in order, joined a new gym - all as a way to meet people who have similar interests, no 'ulterior' motives (i hate "singles" things), so even if i don't have a boyfriend, i have friends to go out with.
May 7 2007, 01:41 AM
i am really liking mr. craigslist's emails. i look forward to them...he seems to have a good, humorous head on his shoulders and he also seems to think i'm cute, which is really flattering because the little myspace research (*cough*stalking*cough*) i've done on him suggests that his last girlfriend was really fucking hot. which is also a little intimidating, but i'd rather be intimidated by a dude than feel like i'm too good for him.
i have an internet crush!
lord, i am a dork. i am a totally socially inept dork surrounded by devendra banhart lookalikes i have no interest in, crushing on some normal, short-haired boy i've never met who lives 40 miles away. LAWD.
maybe soon i will have a real-life crush. i am feeling really good about this. keep you updated.