Help - Search - Members - Calendar
Full Version: is it called a crush because that's what it does to you?
The BUST Lounge > Forums > The Mating Game
Pages: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46, 47, 48, 49, 50, 51, 52, 53, 54, 55, 56, 57, 58
xexyz
Dammit, it's bad, but I find myself lusting for my boss. I have to stop myself from constantly checking her out or following her around like a little lost puppy dog because I feel compelled to be around her as much as possible. Even when she's mad and snapped at me it still kind of turns me on. Bad Xexyz.
anna k
Today on the crosstown bus this man was checking me out, and I found him sexy in a 70's blues-rocker look, he looked like a young Ted Nugent in his late thirties. I liked his look and thought he was sexy, though I didn't talk to him. I get a little wet for those kind of guys, I've dated a couple who were more platonic than sexual to me, but I liked the 70's rocker look, like the Allman Brothers or The Band. What makes me feel weird about it is that my dad listened to a lot of that rock in the 70's, and still plays it, so it feels like I'm attracted to my dad circa 1975. Still, this guy on the bus was sexy and nice to look at.
Moonpieluv
I spoke on the phone with BritMan on Saturday...

I'm smitten. sigh.

Definitely pro's and con's to the distance thing.
Pro: more time to experience someone without physical contact. Fantasyland thoughts for a lonely romantic girl overwrought by so many unromantic encounters. Also, Learn a thing or two.
Con: I want physical contact. ahha.. just kidding. It would be nice to see him in the flesh though. He has inquired about vacation spots around my area. : )

My crushes are overseas.. haha. Online dating is essentially like window shopping anyways.

I'm all browse no buy for now.... but it's fun to get that little crushy feeling when thinking about BritMan.

Muffy
Moonpieluv, yes long distance is hard. I've only had one long distance relationship but it was tough. Its hard work. good luck!

I currently, have a latest crush or two. One is a friend, and it makes me wish to beat myself sometimes... like when I endulge in daydreaming about her, since I know nothing is ever going to happen, because she isn't single! Though I have finally met someone who is at least single and is fabulous & we're not official or anything, we've only had two dates...I'm still flying high over it... so why the fuck do I keep thinking about this other chic?! what is wrong with me?!

Lesbajew
Sorry this took me a while, but thank you for the advice! I talked with a few other people and it was decided that I would take it to the phone. I called him up and told him. There was sorta an awkward silence, and then he asked me when my mother wanted her Star Trek uniforms back. I said whenever and we said good bye. That was over a week ago, and nothing has happened yet, but I felt great! It was really cool. I'm thinking of asking him to go to movie with me and my brother sometime soon, or perhaps join us in our town's forth of July celebrations. With my brother, is a good friend to both of us, along, there wouldn't be any pressure.
Typewriter
Congrats, Lesbajew! That wasn't so awful now, was it? I wish you two the very best of luck, because there's truly no feeling like the beginning ... I always get excited when I like someone and I learn that he's into me as well. The air seems to buzz with possibility.
If you haven't already, go right ahead and ask him to go to a movie. Going with your brother is cool if you really feel like you need to be comfortable, but honestly, it kills the excitement of romance a little. Half the fun of a fresh date is the nervousness. Just take it and run with it. Anyone here willing to back me up on that?

Goodness, it's been some time since I've visited the Lounge. Everyone seems to be doing well. Love and romance is still exciting and confusing us all, which is promising. Here's my addition to the craze:

I actually wanted to give a little update with regard to my Wandering Jack. About a week and a half ago now, we had an epic experience that (fingers crossed) has changed a lot about our pseudo-relationship. I decided to start actively seeing other people just as WJ and I had agreed to do. Incidentally, I made out with another guy and a photo was somehow snapped mid-kiss ... The photo ended up on Facebook and numerous friends felt the need to point it out to WJ. He acted casual about it at first, but when I told him I was going to a wedding with the guy in the picture, jealousy drove Wandering Jack mad, and (long story short) he called me up and begged me to be his girlfriend. He promised that he was ready to stop fucking around, recognized that I deserve better, and swore that what he truly wanted was to be in an exclusive, committed relationship with me if I was willing to give him another chance. So basically, he could dish it out, but he couldn't take it. After much hesitation, I decided to give it a shot. He knows he's been an asshole. We're working on fixing that.
So far, things have been smooth. I spent the night at his apartment earlier this week, and before we fell asleep, he said "I'm so happy you made me realize how good I've got it with you. I don't want to be with anyone else. I'm so glad to be your boyfriend, and I'm sorry I've been such a jerk to you in the past." I've got him on a probation period now, and he's on his best behaviour. It's been a rocky seven months leading up to this, but I can honestly say that there is great security in the fact that he smartened up and wanted this. If he didn't want the Real Deal, he would have let me go. The other girls would have been enough for him, right?
I hope you all see this as a positive change. It probably won't sound like much of an exlanation (and I'm really not condoning his previous actions), but the guy's kind of been through a lot. I can honestly say that if I were him, I'd probably just want to screw around and be selfish and irresponsible, too. But he finally recognized a good thing when it came strolling in through the door in a white dress and stillettos. I think this is good.

I MUST ask you all... Do you think it's possible for a bad boy to change?


zoya
typewriter -

yes it is. however, I would ad a caveat to that: it's possible for them to change when they have reached a point in their lives when they are ready to change. Nothing you do will "make" them change - you may be a catalyst, but it is probably because somewhere in his life, he is ready to change (if he is indeed ready to change)

My ex was total bad boy before I met him. In the past he'd been in a band that was well know for being bad boys, he had slept with a bazillion girls, bad habits, didn't want to grow up, the whole shebang. When I met him, it took awhile for us to get things going - we had almost a whole year of it just being a "play it by ear" thing, and it wasn't until I hooked up with someone else that it gave things the kick in the ass that our relationship needed. He got really upset, even though we'd never talked about being mutually exclusive (although neither one of us had been seeing anyone else) and off we went from there - and we never fucked around on each other, etc. (we broke up because of entirely different stuff, but that's a different story)

The thing is, I know that if it had been a couple of years prior, he probably would have not been into having a relationship at all and it would have not mattered who I was with. He probably would have been so into doing the band / bad boy thing that that would have been his priority. But I think that he was in a place where, when the right things aligned for him at the right time, he was able to see that he really wanted to be with me and make a mutually exclusive relationship work. There was really nothing I could have done differently I think, it was him and where he was at, even though I think he didn't consciously know he was there - it was just when the time came, he was ready - if that makes any sense.

so that's my experience. Maybe he is just in that place in his life - perhaps he didnt' know it consciously, but when the time came, he just realized he could do it. That said, I'd still not jump completely in the deep end, just sit back and enjoy, but just remember that the verdict is still out on him. I would not tell him that, just keep that in your mind and keep taking it slow. if he really is into you in the way he says, that will be fine, and then you'll know.

just my .02 cents. smile.gif

greenbean
I totally agree with zoya. My long-term boyfriend was not necessarily a "bad boy", but he too was in a band that toured and he didnt want to be tied down. We dated for a year before he commited, which happened because I was getting fed up of not being treated like his girlfriend yet him getting all the perks of having one. After that he was devoted for four years, but we broke up when we realized that neither of us could take it to the next level (ie we didnt want to live together).

So I'm driving myself crazy right now. When I got back from London I was anxious to see Indiana again, but when I texted him he responded that he was out of town. So for the past two weeks I've been (slightly) patiently waiting his return. Perhaps because he is newer and i'm curious about his potential, I've actually been thinking about him more that BB lately. On my birthday (last weekend) I drunk-dialed Indiana and said something to the affect of "I miss you. I cant wait to see you again.." in sing-songy girly voice. And he didnt respond. Crap, there I go. A couple days later I texted him that I was drunk and dont remember what I said, and "should I be embarrassed?". He did respond with "Lord, where do I start? laugh.gif" (he added the smiley). So, its ok, right? (fingers crossed).

Anyway, he is supposed to be back in town today and I was hoping that he would want to make plans but so far he hasn't tried to reach me. I totally understand that he might be playing it cool since I'm the one who took off to be with BB for two weeks...but still, I *know* Indiana at least was terribly smitten with me. He's got to want to hang out again, right?? Please say yes.
culturehandy
Shit, have I been out of the loop, currently reading archives, will be back.

Hope all crushies are doing well.

I still have nothing, although a few blasts from the past last weekend, boy2 and I are no longer sleeping together, but talking, I'm not interested in fucking him anymore, exboy (whom I was dating when I met boy2) also saw me last Friday, and want him to go away, it appears he has.

I'm still not into anyonem, although I'm on a men in uniform binge right now, it is my obsession, but not to date.

That is all.
missjoy
I probs shouldn't be in this thread as I'm married (not saying I can't have crushes, just can't act on them - so they tend to be more virtual - like hot actors). Anyway, as per the bad boy thing. When JoyBoy and I hooked up we were both in the partying phase of life. As we got further along I grew out of it a bit quicker than he did (having different schedules didn't help - I don't want to get blasted drunk cause I have to work tomorrow, but it's annoying being around someone who is when you're not). He is slowly calming down, I don't think he will ever totally change - but some people do calm down after a while.
Typewriter
Well yeah, that's just it. All of a sudden, this so-called "bad boy" realized that he has a great job that he loves, a solid group of good friends, a family who cares about him, a fabulous apartment downtown ... And then I guess he finally looked at me and realized that stability wasn't such a terrible thing, especially since I've done nothing but love and care for him. I think he's ready for this. I'm SO happy, but still cautious, don't worry.
Thanks for listening to my situation and giving your insight, everyone. I'm truly grateful.

greenbean - I can't actually answer your question, I can only really say how TERRIFICALLY JEALOUS I am that you've got two fantastic prospects at your fingertips. You're going to break somebody's heart!
greenbean
Schwoo! (how do you spell a sigh of relief?) I finally got to hang out with Indiana last night! I was worried for nothing. He was hard to reach for a couple days there cuz he had work to catch up after being out of town (he was visiting his sister and nephews, aww so quaint). He came over and we had some wine and swapped some vacation stories (none about BB of course, and he didnt ask) and then I asked him to stay over...

...and then I got me some sweet portions! It was better than last time, which was sort of a sloppy (assumed) one-off...but still the sex was a little, how should I say,.. safe? I guess its hard for anyone to compare to that filthy wildman BB,..but BUT, I get the feeling Indiana is holding back. I can tell he has some major interest in kink but is restraining himself cuz he's a gentleman. I'm definitly keeping him in crush territory..and I think he has got potential for more...for what its worth, hes a great cuddler!

Ahh, Typewriter..I'm flattered that you are jealous, but honestly, BB is far from my fingertips! If he and I stay single then maybe we'll have the expensive romp once a year, but I really dont think it has much of a future. Luckily there doesnt seem to be much heartache on either end, just reality.
Good luck with WJ! Hope he keeps his word and is an amazing boyfriend to you!
anna k
Because I was bored and wanting to flirt with some guys, I went on Okcupid, and checked out who was new. I've been IMing with a cute guy, and feeling good right now, from talking about Frank Zappa to blues rock, me telling him I liked his furry-looking head and beard and him telling me he thought I was cute. I haven't had a lot of one-on-one time with guys lately, it's just a commuter life with no interesting guys at work and living in my grandma's neighborhood of old people. There was one guy earlier this year who was dorky in a cute way and fun to talk to, but he left for a different job and the new guy is a bore. Last week I flirted with a Ted Nugent -ookalike on the bus, but felt too nervous to make more of a move. I did like that I got sexual feelings for a few girls, a combination of the hot weather and my pent-up hormones. I hate complaining about the same shit, so I do online dating sometimes to feel better and get to know people.

I often get sexual thoughts, like when I'm watching TV and stretching out and imagining being stroked or licked or bitten, like wanting to open my body up to someone without that turned-off feeling that I get when I've been in those situations. I watched Frankie and Johnny, and even though it's a movie, the main sexual scene is the kind I'd like IRL, fun and playful and loving and real, being mature and sensual. I might as well masturbate right now to work off this turned-on feeling I got after IM chatting.
greenbean
So I have a question: How many dates should one go on with a guy before asking if he is seeing other people?

Its been so long since I've been in a normal dating situation! I was in a LTR with my college sweetheart up until a year and a half ago, and then it was just one-offs until BB. With BB we had to talk about everything straight away, since the ocean made everything seem so urgent. When we decided we couldnt do the long-distance thing (the first time around) it went back to just one-offs, or going on a couple dates with someone but not wanting to take further.

So basically, for the first time being out in the "adult" (non-student) dating scene, I want to go further with someone. Not talking about a commitment already, but I am just *curious* if hes seeing other people. But by asking too soon I run the risk of seeming like I'm seeking to be exclusive, right? And I dont even want that yet...I'm just curious...AAARG! Sorry I'm a broken record. Anyway, when is normal to ask?
sixelacat
Arrrrg, GB, I don't think there is a "normal" for that. (Have you ever met a "normal" person? I'm still waiting, myself....) Everybody's going to have their own expectations based on their past experiences and relationship expectations. You just got back, I'd relax and give Indiana some time. Chances are he's going to ease a little more slowly into things anyway, 'cause he knows you just got back from a BB holiday. Are you turning down dates, or are you just curious if he has the same level of feeling for you that you have for him? Generic advice: don't pick, enjoy what you're doing, and trust your instincts. (god, that IS generic. but applicable. generally. rolleyes.gif )
zoya
greenbean - well, not that I - Ms. Jump the Gun wink.gif - have great advice.. hahaha

really though, I am the worst at sitting back and giving things time, but I do think that is the right thing to do. Like sixelacat said, just let yourself get into the now and enjoy the time you spend with him, and bear in mind that you just got back from the UK so he's likely feeling things out, also.

Sometimes it just becomes apparent that you each aren't seeing anyone else, and you can take it from there - but if something needs to be vocalized, I got some great advice from a guy friend once that I've never forgotten. He told me that he (and most every guy he knew) tended to get all freaked out and backed into a corner if a girl was asking him how he felt, etc. So he suggested that I just examine my feelings and tell the guy how I felt. and then just leave it. That way, the guy knows where you're at, and you're taking responsibility for how you feel, but not pressuring him to feel a certain way. Basically, you come across as the "Executive Woman."

For example, with my ex, we had this play it by ear thing for almost a year (we were long distance) but it got to the point where I wanted to know where we stood. What I ended up saying to him was "you know, I've really loved all the time we've been spending together, I've learned so much about you and myself and had a great time. and I realize that I don't want to see anyone else but you." and I left it at that. I think at the time, he was like "hmm, well that sounds good" and just kinda clammed up. So of course, I was kinda freaking out, but a couple weeks later he told me he'd been thinking about what I said and that he agreed. I think that he just needed time to digest it. But I know that I felt a lot better just taking responsibility for my feelings and putting it out there, than if I'd questioned him as to where he was at.

anyway, just my .02 cents and it's always served me well..

Moonpieluv
Golly gee zoya, I agree about just enjoying the company, allowing yourself to have a good time with someone...even if it may not flourish into a long term relationship, which I realized after much silly suffering (aka not being the "executive woman" and focusing on my personal goals first) was not the best option for me right now...

I'm not dismissing the flourish altogether. I'm just going with the flow. I have things I MUST accomplish and just recently, honestly started feeling more empowered about myself. I've been hanging with Mr. Divorced and just realizing that I may be moving soon, that I don't need the "couple-ization" of us right now. I don't care what anyone has to say about me seeing him either.

I feel good with him. We cook dinner together, watch movies, listen to endless amounts of music, laugh and giggle and smile all the time when we're together. He listens to my frustrations, tries to extend or advice when appropriate. Why should I not have that positive influence in my life right now? I felt shitty for far too long.

Greenbean and Zoya, the way I've been handling Mr.Div is that I realize we are going to keep our options opened... we are going to date other people. I want that option and I want to hang out with him. He wants that option and he wants to hang out with me. Now.... I think he wants to hang out with me more than he wants to hang out with the other girls he's been dating. I mean... he comes and picks me up from work, lets me do my laundry at his house, helps me with hard-to-do house repairs, bestows tons of burned c.d's on me, loves for me to spend the night, etc....

I'm still keeping it cool though. He said that if I felt at any time that I needed to stop seeing him or back off or whatever, then just let him know. Vice versa for him as well. We're not hiding it either... We're not on full deliberate display at the neighborhood watering hole, but I don't sneak into my apt so my roomie doesn't see, cause my roomie is friends with Mr. Div's EX. Like he's off-limits to me or something. Fuck you, roomie. erghh.
stargazer
oh, i don't do the number of dates thing. you just take time to get to know the person and go from there. with my ex, we were dating for 2 months, when we talked about being exclusive with each other. you know, you could always ask in the general dating/relationship thread too.
greenbean
Let me just say, cuz I feel kinda foolish about my question,..that its TOTALLY too early to for me to even want to be exclusive with Indiana, and I DON'T want that yet...honestly I just get curious about such things. Its just that since I met him on my own, I have no way of finding out about him other than straight up asking him. I mean, most other guys I've liked I've met through friends, so I could ask those friends, "Hey, whats his deal? Is he seeing anyone? Is he recently out of a relationship? Is he a player?" you know, that kinda thing...Last night when I posted I was just kinda freaking out like, "who IS this guy?!? Someone help! I need answers!!!" Ha ha. But seriously, I'm fine now. Actually, the mystery is cool, I'm gonna wait it out and let the answers come to me. Thanks for the response!
laurenann
*delurks* i must be moving closer to moving on, because i've been lurking in the dating advice and crush threads.

i'm pretty sure i'm just looking for any excuse to throw my energy into something new and fun, but i've developed a huge crush on a guy that my best friend introduced me to at her wedding in chicago last weekend. he's sent me a few myspace messages (one with his phone number for when i move there next month!) and posted a bunch of pictures (many of me totally wasted sad.gif) on flickr. i've been checking myspace obsessively for more messages or comments.

it's stupid to be infatuated with the first guy after my break up to flirt with me, but what can i do? i just need to keep it cool now so i'm not acting a fool by august.

what you guys are talking about now, not being exclusive or having "the talk" and just seeing how things go and having fun, is totally what i want in my life at this point. so keep the conversation going, i'm back to lurking...
snarky7
tho i'm recently out of a rebound relationship post-divorce, i find myself almost ready to put *me* back out there again. oddly, i've been thinking about my neighbor alot. not completely sure it is healthy for me to have this particular crush right now... i mean, what do you do if it doesn't work out? move? not likely! but he's so nice to talk to, and he's my "slave" when i need help around my condo - even joked that i was his "mistress" that made him do his slave labor. he's not the most attractive, but i find myself watching for him to be home or trying to be outside so maybe i'd bump into him anyway. sigh. just don't know what to do....

...on the other side of this is a guy who apparently has a crush on me...so much so that i don't quite know what to do about it. the guy's a little over-the-top and has asked me every day since thursday to go on a date with him. he's a little scary...late 30s, hot topic guy - chains and skulls are his deal. NOT MY TYPE.

so, two questions, what to do about neighbor-boy-crush? and how to CRUSH the one with a crush on me (gently please)?
shinyx3
tell him you are washing your hair.
mouse
laugh.gif @ shiny

snark, just think about how you'd like to be treated if you were interested in someone who wasn't interested back...however, the fact that you seem to have told him no several times and he still persists is annoying. if he keeps it up tell him firmly that you are sorry but you are not interested, and will continue to be uninterested, and that it would be in his best interests to stop bugging you.

anyway---what i came in here to write is JEEZE, guys, i have a new crush. but it's pretty much the most inappropriate crush i could ever have. i don't choose who i have crushes on but my crush organs seem to have decided to play a mean prank on me. this guy is over ten years my senior and furthermore he is my COWORKER. the age difference really doesn't bother me--he acts like he's in his twenties and dresses like he's in his teens and somehow manages to actually rock the grey hair, and not in a distinguished-gentleman sort of way (which can be awesome too...but in this case it would NOT work)--but the coworker thing just seems SO inconvenient. on top of that, pretty much all my other coworkers seem to think he's a little crazy. and i guess he is, but i also like crazy...and i think the fact that my coworkers would think it highly inappropriate makes me want it more. however, i have no reason to think that he's interested in me at all (though i also have no reason to think he's not--he jokes around with me a lot but i think he probably does that with everyone), and even if he were, this sort of thing never ends well, i hear. but goddammit, i've been dreaming about him lately and even though they aren't really, like, SEXY dreams it means my subconscious is wayy into him. which is SUCH a sticky situation. it's also really difficult to try to stop daydreaming about someone when they're walking past your desk every fifteen minutes...gah.


MEH!
laurenann
mouse, i have had crushes on so many inappropriate people. sometimes i think i like them just because it's an inappropriate crush! you know, it's safer that way - if you know it's never gonna happen, you can just do the crush thing without worrying about taking the next steps.

right now i have a HUGE crush on a guy i've only met "IRL" one time. i check myspace obsessively for messages from him. it's nerve wracking. he lives in the city i'm moving to in a few weeks, so i'm dying from the anticipation of what could happen next.
Muffy
mouse, if I had a dollar for every person I had worked with that I developed a crush on... Its probably completely normal, though totally inconvenient and perhaps inappropriate... then again, you go to work every day, where else would you happen to meet someone who has something in common with you, every day, but at work?

I once went on a few dates with someone I worked with - when he stopped seeing me and got back together with the girl he had been seeing before me, who also happened to worked with us, that was akward.

My crush as of late happens to be someone that I've been dating - we're not official or anything, though part of me wants to be, but I kind of think she is seeing other people. I'm not going to ask, because I think I'd sound crazy (not that that would be the first time). Since we're not really in a relationship, I suppose there's nothing wrong with her (or me for that matter) seeing other people. It just makes me feel a bit disappointed. I'm not very good with dating. I end up liking the person and not bothering to look around. I'm used to just going from one relationship to another.
mouse
but *whine* i WANT it to be attainable. this is the first crush i've had in like a year sad.gif

muffy, i don't get "dating" either. i completely understand both committed relationships and casual, friends-with-benefits type sex, but the middle ground confuses the hell out of me. hope it works out for you *cross fingers*.
Moonpieluv
mouse----- You are attainable, no matter what. The co-worker thing is just... (sigh) a decision of whether you want that dynamic in your life or not. I think it's healthy to have crushes.. and screw appropriate (new phrase I'm embracing) but it just comes to looking out for that red thing that beats behind your boobie. And the guy I'm with is the first full-blown heart melting crush I've had in a year... since my last long-term of 6 1/2 years. dude.

I am totally hard for Mr. Divorce... some would say that was inappropriate and my heart may suffer, but had I not pursued... I don't think i would be in a better happier place right now.

Does he know how you feel? Is he available? Doing boom-boom with a co-worker is not recommended... trust me. And like the others said, perhaps it's just safer to like him from afar.

Go after or let someone in that's available, and if they have a sloppy french-kiss or act like a juvenile ass or disrespect you or just have too much butt-hair or something... you can just avoid them accordingly.

Don't get stuck with potentially knowing a co-worker has an exorbitant amount of butt-hair. The visual of that everyday is worse in the long run.

Muffy--I'm kinda in the same situation.. in that, we haven't put a "label" on each other. But it's like this unspoken, just known, thing..
I don't think it's an unwillingness or inability to date on your part. Maybe you just like her? I feel like... I care not for other dudes...I just like him. I believe in being up front about seeing other people, but not graphically so. my crush was seeing other girls when we first started dating... and now, I don't think he has the energy for any others! haha. And it started like "dating". If this is a crush for me, it's pretty intense.
Muffy
Moonpieluv, I think dating in general is about risks and yeah you may get your heart broken, but you have to take a chance sometimes... yours seems to be working out quite well for you.

I know I like her. It hasn't really been that long that we've been dating, maybe a few weeks, it seems kind of soon to become exclusive but it certainly wouldn't be the first time I've done such a thing... I kind of think I should just see how things go and stop worrying so damn much!

Mouse, thanks smile.gif I hope you meet someone sexy that isn't your co-worker real soon.

mouse
thx guyz

moon, it's no heart-melting crush. i haven't had one of those in over two years, since i started dating my last bf. i haven't gotten to know anyone well enough for anything to be heart melting. *sigh* but it's something, and that's more than i've had lately. anyway, it's nice to occupy my brain with for a little bit.
snarky7
mouse and moon - i wish for the crushes you have. Mouse - a coworker? for me it is a neighbor. both are not very convenient. gah! tonight i was out on my front step (a place i sit often) and the neighbor boy came out and offerred me beer. actually brought a six-pack of coronas - current fave..... the other neighbor (married) came out for a bit and we were all chatting. my neck (and sunburn) was killing me, neighbor boy rubbed my neck....the first touch ever. OMG. i want that all the time..... the crush rubbing my neck (not to mention other places i'd like to have rubbed).....i was in heaven. we were drinking (and finished off several) and maybe that makes it more of a crush (intoxicated hormones). god i don't know....... but i really think i want him..... ouch! NEIGHBOR! cannot... simply cannot......

so, dog tag boy and i went out last night - he was a perfect gentleman - i was actually surprised and enjoyed his company, tho the conversation was a bit weak (that's where neighbor-boy and i excell)..... did not hear from him all day sat tho....so maybe it is done.

mouse, the something is always better than nothing, so i think.....

moon, ah to have your crush....

best to you both.
mouse
excellent conversation AND a neck rub? snark, i think that cancels out inconvenient! besides, a neighbour is easier than a coworker, imho, because whatever happens it's just between you, not an entire office (or company) that would know. and neighbour is just awkward, not as inherently inappropriate as coworker. i have crushed on neighbours before--two in fact, in the same building! eep! and made my intentions known, and neither were interested but the awkwardness didn't last very long.

a neck rub is VERY promising. i don't think any guys give neck rubs to girls they aren't attracted to.
snarky7
thanks mouse, for the good thoughts. i'm encouraged to know that it might not be the end of the world for me to go there. today i got back from floating the river with some friends from work - yes, drinking involved - and when i got home i was famished. i was ready to cook for about 40 and knew i couldn't eat it all... perhaps it was the alcohol, not sure, but i knocked on neighbor's door and asked if he wanted to join me. we cooked dinner, had excellent conversation and a couple more beers, ate without embarrasing myself, and continued the conversation at an ice cream shop down the road. his treat. we sat outside at the ice cream shop and played checkers (the tables have built-ins) and talked again... will we ever run out of things to talk about? i sure hope not.... as we walked out of the ice cream shop, he put his hand on my back, and after we got home and said our goodnights, he gave me a hug... i might have held a little long, but man what a way to end the day... i'm sure i'll continue to think of him, even more so after tonight. i'm going just one day at a time here, but he's so nice....argh! i get goosebumps thinking of the sweet things he says. hopefully it doesn't end up awkward in the end... here's to keeping my fingers crossed!
mouse
uhhhh snarky, it sounds like this guy is like totally in love with you tongue.gif
Moonpieluv
Ooohh, snarky... it's totally on with you. It sounds like this is definitely budding. Eeee... puppy stage is so fun.

Mouse---yeah, this is my first real crush in a year. He's so massively amazing to me. So supportive and understanding about my move to graduate school town.. I did finally tell him, but he said he already knew that something was going to happen eventually.. I was honest the first time we hung out that there was a possibility of me moving soon. He said that I should've been scared to tell him cause he's going to support and hang out with me as much as he can... and if I'll have him, he'll make weekend trips to visit. Ahh....
We went to the mountains this weekend. Had a picnic next to the lake in the grass.... stopped off and climbed around on river rocks, then went to this quaint little town for dinner and strolling and drinks...

It's like an endless supply of help from him, too. I have an asshole roommate situation on top of the fact that I'll be moving in 3 months. Loose ends at work to tie up, a resume to be re-worked, a new job to find, etc. etc. He said I could stay with him on the days he doesn't have his kid at home, as well as offering to take care of my cat. He's really done so much to settle my nerves, provide consolation, great boom-boom, reassurance reassurance reassurance.

Dang....
snarky7
ah moon and mouse, i've been giddy all dang day.... i haven't even seen him today but it is just the memories of last evening.... sigh.

moon, sounds like he's wanting to stick around after your move....that's a very good sign for you i believe. i'm glad you enjoyed your weekend with him... keep enjoying every second...
snarky7
no "crush" sighting since Sunday night....i'm about to go crazy!
Moonpieluv
Derrr... sorry snarky maybe he's a busy boy right now... He better show that face or you'll lose the fire for him, that is if he knows what's best for him... right?

Yeah... we had a long talk last night, and he told me that he fully plans on continuing our "relationship" (we haven't actually called it that yet) when I'm gone. We're pretty smitten...
He leaves for vacation with his son for a week... so needless to say, I'll be jonesin for that lovin' until he gets back.
Ah, chemistry. I haven't slept in my own bed in 5 days!! Wow.
snarky7
Today was great, starting about 11:40 when I received an odd call asking if I knew someone....yes i knew of him....and to go to the front desk of where i work and find a beautiful pink and white bouquet of gerbera daisies and a single white rose....just addressed to my first name. OMG! needless to say there are several with my same name, so it had to be done the way it was done...to sort of "give away the secret"

so let me first say that it has been YEARS since i've gotten flowers that i've not bought for myself (sad but true)....adding to that, IMO, crush came back with style. tho a little "gone" this week (saw him briefly last night but Sunday before that), he redeemed himself a million times over. i'm so twitterpated. this is crazy.

with some push from friends i finally called him at his work (i have no contact info for the guy other than he's my neighbor) and thanked him in a mildly gushy fashion (he tried to deny but of course, remember, i had the NAME - the card on the flowers was not signed), and asked him to a company shindig tonight. he accepted so i got to spend the evening with him, talking and talking and talking.....and snarkyboy was with me tonight too. crush did not seem to mind and even was sure to include boy in conversation... crush also took the "work thing" of the night in stride and was happy to meet and talk to my coworkers...

the evening ended with another hug, i'm on cloud 36 (that would be cloud 9 times 4)..... i have the weekend off with snarkyboy so maybe (hoping) i can spend a little more time, even on the silly front steps....


moon, hope you are surviving your crush being gone.... it'll be worth it when he returns!
Muffy
snarky7, whoo hoo flowers delivered at work!?! very nice!
Moonpieluv
oh yeah, snarky... flowers! sigh... the best. I'm such a sucker for some flowers.
I like it that he was so mature, sweet, and considerate at the party, as well. Little slow with the moves for now (unless sboy was standing right there or something) leaving you with just a hug, but then again... I'm a total hornball. I actually fall for a guy who doesn't act aggressive at first... which is how "bruce leroy" was with me.... at first. He's a bit more comfortable now!!

I hope to hear more about this crush.. and I think it's romantic to sit and chat on the front steps. I would totally "plan" and have myself propped with a bottle of wine and a book, acting rather non-chalant, but really waiting for him to cross paths. derr... rolleyes.gif

Yeah.. BL leaves today. It was hard getting up this morning with him and having to go to work. We just wanted to lay there in that faint morning light... you can hear that white noise of the highway in the distance... gosh, it would've been nice to have just layed on him a bit longer.

He gave me the sweetest puppy dog eyes, too.. got out of the car of hug and kiss me proper, even offered to lend me some money for lunch (i'm hard up til monday).... bahhh sigh. He will have a blast with his son.... I know he wishes I was with him though.

guess i won't have any updates on this one for a week. GL to yours....
snarky7
oh trust me, moon, it's not that there's not a plan.... smile.gif my plan doesn't quite include wine and a book, but i'll sit out there nights waiting to see if he'll come outside to chat... cold beer in the fridge (just in case), laptop on my lap (wireless baby!), usually with this site open or playing in my iTunes.... argh, i have it bad.

i left him a note on his door this morning letting him know he was the first thing to cross my mind this morning. still don't have things like phone number or other dets to talk to him other than waiting on the steps.....

slow moves is okay by me for now... just cuz i'm not totally sure i should really go there with a neighbor...what if? ya know?

and gosh, these flowers are so beautiful.... sigh.......
snarky7
crush report. so yesterday i was invited out for dinner by crush (OMG!). we went a little late and enjoyed dinner (and of course the neverending conversation) and a couple glasses of wine. after dinner, we went to chat with friends of his who were having a small group dinner (they were finished, we went to chat). we stayed there until nearly 130 and i got to see another side of him during this group conversation. he has an easy way about him and can talk with anyone. he was always making sure i was okay, didn't want to leave, was warm enough (sitting outside), and such. he told me 3 or 4 times how nice i looked, and had comments about my freckles again - why those things make me blush i don't know.

god he is SO NICE. is he too nice? ugh.

he left me at my door with the slowest sweetest single goodnight kiss....... like from "Pretty In Pink"...
Does he have... strong lips?
How can you tell?
Did you feel it in your knees?
I felt it everywhere.


dreams were sweet last night, but dayum! i could use more of those kisses.......
mouse
OH MY GOD snarky!!!!!!!! wow!

i am living so hard vicariously through you and moonpie. it's nice to know that total swoony crushes are still happening out there to people.
laurenann
oooOOOoooOOOooh! that is awesome, snarky!

i have a question. i'm moving to chicago tomorrow (TOMORROW!) and when i was there for a wedding about a month ago i flirted with this guy both nights i was there. we've exchanged some myspace messages, he offered to help me move and gave me his number. should i call him tonight before i leave or call him monday or tuesday from the road? hmmm...
zoya
laurenann -

I say wait until you get there and are settled in until you call him... that is, if you have people to help you move that you already know. however, if you want to take him up on his offer to help you move in, I say wait until you are on the road, then call him while you're on your way there. but like furthur into the trip.

anyway, that's my .02 cents worth...

snarky and moon, wow that sounds amazing. nice to know that there are guys out there who *want* to put forth the effort...
sassygrrl
Have a new crush--- on my neighbor!! smile.gif
Although, I think we're both seeing people... does this count?
mouse
man. i am so bad at this.

i answer these personals ads because i think i see a connection, but then when the guy responds i see that i am wrong. i am now in correspondence with a dude who is 29 but i think he is a different sort of species. he is a lawyer and sounds very grown up and doesn't seem to have much of a sense of humour, and just seems too adult. i am used to my 29 year old friends, who are silly and relaxed and interested in the same things i am interested in. i am not particularly interested in lawyers who list "exercise" as one of the things they do for fun.

meh. i suppose i should give it a go, though, even though i don't want to. in some ways i think it might be even easier to let him be the one to make the obvious statement that we really don't have much to base a connection on.
Stacy Wayne Gacy
Mouse, he does sound pretty dull. I know what you're talking about with people who list "exercise" as one of the things they do for fun in their personal ads (kind of like saying "I enjoy long walks on the beach"). It's not so much that they enjoy the whole healthy lifestyle thing, as the fact that they seem to lack the imagination and creativity that normally makes that kind of crushing-on-strangers experience exhilarating.
Moonpieluv
Yeah...sassy, it's counts.... if it makes you feel all squish inside. But you got the love with other dude. A little window-shopping never hurt.
snarky7
welcome to the neighbor-crush-world, sassy... hope your crush turns out to be as good as mine... i'd say wait on actioning anything there until you are both free from other relationships - in case it turns out to be good, you'd not want to ruin things... good luck!

and mouse, are you crushing on this excercise man? does he have nice arms? tongue.gif


crush update for me...so, crush and i have now shared some fabulous kisses, some sweet, some hot! cool.gif we continue to talk and talk and he is certainly spoiling me...after flowers delivered on Thursday, he brought me flowers to my door on Sunday night (a dozen red roses) and sent me daisies at work today.... WOW! He told me tonight that he sent them because he wanted me to feel special, I might have to say that i do... wub.gif

tonight he joined snarkyboy and i in a friendly water fight - hoses and waterguns and the like - all 3 of us ended up sopping wet and giggling. sigh...makes me crush on him a little more... then he hung out and snarkyboy played "jungle gym" on him, crawling all over....i think they will have no problem with one another...

we've not talked about "dating" specifically, but I wonder when the crush is no longer a crush? can you date your crush? man i hope so. i certainly don't want to stop feeling like i'm 16 all over again....i love the elated days and the feeling of giddiness when i look at these flowers...
This is a "lo-fi" version of our main content. To view the full version with more information, formatting and images, please click here.
Invision Power Board © 2001-2014 Invision Power Services, Inc.