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mouse
snark, honestly it sounds like you've got a budding dreamboat relationship right there. i mean, someone who sends you flowers MEANS it. SQUEE!

i don't know if lawyer has nice arms. he probably does. but it makes me feel real nervous cos while i have a gym membership and have been diligent about it at times, i've been neglecting it pretty hardcore lately and i am definitely on the squishy, my pants didn't used to be this tight, side these days. i am worried he is going to take one look at me and go "oh, man, i thought she was into exercising BOY WAS I WRONG". meh. oh well, i guess i'll see how it goes and if it sucks at least i'll have another social experiment. I AM SO BAD AT DATING.
Muffy
wow snarky and moon people who put in effort towards showing how they feel. you are so lucky. the person I like keeps just sending mixed messages. One minute I am CERTAIN the next I feel like a complete loser who should just look elsewhere...

I feel your pain mouse I am not so good with this dating thing either, I think I have a lack of judgement in character when chosing potential people to date.
sassygrrl
Snarky, I've always dreamed of flowers at work!! smile.gif I think my neighbor is more of a window shopping thing. He knows I have a boyfriend. Yet, I've never seen him with a girlfriend. Hmm... But, I didn't pick up on a gay vibe, b/c he was seriously checking me out.

But, I miss that giddy feeling. It's just nice to flirt.

And hey my crush turned into my boyfriend so... I think you can date a crush...smile.gif
greenbean
I love when crushes turn into boyfriends! Sassy, haven't seen you here for a while (waves) ...its like you are a Crush thread success story!

Mouse, you crack me up! I was at the gym the other day on a freebie pass, and the guy that worked there who was trying to sell me a membership was really hot, but I was trying to picture dating him and I thought, no way, diff species as you say. Are you gonna give him a shot anyway?

So I have the ending of one crush to report, and the beginning of a new one! First off, the crush know as Indiana: for the past month I've only seen him a few of times because he's in film production and has loads of work this summer, ...and then he got phemonia. While he was sick I offered to go visit him but he didn't want me to. Then he got better and we hung out again, but since he had to catch up on work it was practically like he was "squeezing in" some time with me. We haven't been on a proper date since before I went to Europe, and I told him I was starting to feel like just a booty call (which I would be cool with if he was better at oral, truth be told). He assured me that he likes me and hes sorry it seems the way it does. Well, two days later he sends me an email saying how, again, he really likes me but doesn't see being able to make any date plans for us at this time, cuz hes so swamped right now--but still hopes he can in the future(not sure if that is bullshit or not). I haven't responded yet. Should I or should I blow him off?

Carrying on, I met my new crush last night at a bar (heh, my mom always asks if I go to "single's bars", um..). I was there with two friends (who are a couple) and we know the dj there. I kept glancing at a group of cute boys, and one kept looking at me. I wanted to meet him but was embarrassed cuz his whole group looked younger then me, and I didn't want to be the weird older chick. At one point my friends wanted to dance, but I didn't want to. Dj dude pulled me over and said "come'on! Dance with my friends here", and directed me to the group of younger fellas. Introductions were made, and somehow instead of dancing I ended up talking to the boy who was giving me the eyes. Sure enough, he is younger than me, by four years, but we still hit it off. He's not exactly "hot" but hes cute in like, your best friend's younger brother kinda way...in fact, maybe I'll nickname him Lil Bro,..oh and you know what else?! We have the same name! Well, mine has an 'a' at the end. When we met it was like in Silence of Sleep, "Stephan--Shephanie!" Anyway, eventually my buddies wanted to leave, but LilBro wanted to keep hanging out so he offered to take me home. We ended up making out in his car like it was high school, hee! *doing the new crush dance*
mouse
goddammit, i still have a crush on my coworker. i wish i were going on a date with him instead of an exercise-obsessed lawyer (hilarious how that is probably the definition of the typical dream guy, yet it is quite possibly the least appealing combination to me). he is so cute, and so absolutely inappropriate. i wish there were some entirely appropriate way of figuring out whether he has any interest at all. BAH work.
snarky7
hey mouse - i can share the feeling of historically having a work crush... those are honestly the most trying. the worst part for me was that who could you tell about it? no one at work, cuz then it would get back to him and that would just be the worst, esp if he didn't feel the same about you... sort of takes the fun out of it. for that one i was surely too old for him (i have about 6 years or so on him), but it was fun while it lasted...

greenbean - i can just say that age shouldn't matter, esp for a crush - it's the next step that could be tricky (but woulndn't have to be). enjoy the giddiness! it's the best!


i've spent the last couple evenings with my crush again. he just makes me about melt sometimes. tonight he put on Star Wars for snarkyboy to watch and we all 3 sat on the couch and cuddled (me on crush, snarkyboy on me). i seriously thought i must have died. after snarkyboy went to bed, crush and i cuddled more, then he kissed me - all soft and sweet - god i love that. my worry? when will this end? i never want it to, but seriously, is this too good to be true?
Muffy
snarky7, don't ask yourself "... is this too good to be true?" you'll just end up driving yourself crazy. I'm currently doing that now. I've met someone great and of course I keep worrying about stupid shit - ok there's a little more than just the person I'm seeing that is causing this but you know what I mean. I have to keep telling myself to relax and stop worrying, especially regarding the things that seem 'too good to be true.' Hey we all deserve something good in our lives right?

mouse, good luck with whichever man you chose, though it sounds as if your leaning towards the coworker. I wish I had some good advice for that.
mouse
I DO NOT WANT TO GO ON THIS DATE. BLAH.
flanker_ji
Snarky, your crush sounds awesome and I hope it stays that way smile.gif

Hopefully you'll get at least something good out of the date mouse. Though sometimes those online dates just. don't. pan. out.

I've just reached the age where boys from long in the past can come back in your life, and it's intriguing instead of anxiety-making (but maybe that's just me!).

I've lived in this area of town for a year now, and the person I see randomly, far more than anyone else (it's uncanny, really), is this guy whose had a thing for me since jr. high. We spent one night together sometime in the year after high school, but then never got together again. And I can't even remember why! So when I first started seeing him around again, I was embarassed and wasn't sure what to say. But time and time again, he just seems happy to see me and like he's curious about what's going on with me. I've been (very) slowly realizing that it might be nice to let him in my life again.

I saw him randomly again today, and I was comfortable enough around him to tell him what was going on with me, and ask about his situation. I saw that he's still as twitterpated about me as he was back in the day. Once I got home, I realized that this might be the honest, direct guy I've always been scared of. The one I pass by for the guy who keeps me guessing, and ultimately has nothing to give me. But I was delighted that I realized this, instead of feeling anxious or sad about it, like I normally would. I hope when I see him again I can bring myself closer to him. He's a cool dude. Maybe I'll even ask him if he has a girlfriend... mellow.gif
mouse
I KISSED A LAWYER! GAH!!!

okay so date with lawyer went FAR better than expected! we kept up conversation the whole time, he was sweet and flirty and seemed GENUINELY interested in me--which is awesome. he said i had an "enormous vocabulary" which maybe is something he's not used to finding in girls!? but he is passably attractive and certainly not my usual "type" but i'm INCREDIBLY flattered that he is interested and i guess we are going to do this again? i don't see anything serious coming out of it but who the hell am i to decline a DATE with a GUY WHO IS INTERESTED IN ME!? this NEVER HAPPENS to me. AAAAGH. and i got some very nice kisses at the end...which is more than i can say of my last date with a dude. maybe i am learning how to date!? MAN. he is a pretty good kisser. he probably is passably good in bed. he DOES have very nice arms. and i could use a good lay. oh god i am a terrible human being to think of it that way. but hey....better than i expected. AAAAHHHH!

flanker, that sounds promising! i say go for it! if you are at all interested in a guy who is "twitterpated" for you...that could be a lovely thing! weeeeee!

ETA: he liked my hair and dimples and the hairs on my arm(!?). i stupidly said "WELL I DON'T SHAVE MY ARMS HAHAH" GOD I AM AN IDIOT
flanker_ji
Thanks mouse! Maybe using the word "twitterpated" is misleading in this case (a few of my friends and I were just remembering that word from Bambi and I was amused by it) - it's not like he's crushed out on me to the point of being pathetic. Not at all.

I think I've been uneasy around him because we have this semi-intense chemistry, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that, because I didn't think it went beyond sexual chemistry, and I'm trying not to let myself be ruled by my genitals anymore biggrin.gif But we found out that we have some non-sexual things in common today, and he and I were friends in school, so we get along on that level too. He's the same guy he's always been in general temperment. Plus, he was dating someone when we first started seeing each other around.

I'm sitting here all dreamy-eyed, wondering if I'm the one who's twitterpated now...

I'm glad the date went well with the lawyer - that arm hair thing is hilarious! I have very hairy arms with dark hair, and I still can't beleive how many comments I've gotten on how attractive it is from random men on the street. Women are the ones who tell me I need to wax it off.
laurenann
crushes seem to be going well, maybe it's the steamy weather.

mouse, awesome job on the lawyer date. i've been thinking i need to meet some new guys to "just get laid" so i don't ruin things and make it awkward with my crush, you know? i would LOVE to sleep with him in theory, but things aren't that easy.

i just moved to a new city, and my (kinda, sorta) crush is this guy my friend here is friends with, we met at her wedding. we all went out on friday and saturday night - me, him, two married couples, and this other guy they are friends with. the married couples went home right after the movie last night and me and the two guys went to a bar for a few beers. i guess the other guy was kinda cramping our style but i was okay with that - i'm not ready for anything beyond flirting yet. i had a lot of fun, we have a lot of stuff in common to talk about, and he has a sexy deep voice and a pretty good style. but he was also wearing bad shoes (boots? in august??) and was making fun of a guy carrying what looked like a purse. so i haven't quite figured out how i feel about him yet. i'm still hoping i see him again before next weekend though!!
snarky7
nice arms, eh, mouse? i said i love that... smile.gif congrats! good luck on date 2!


my crush took me on a date last night again, sushi and drinks. we had an overnight snuggle-fest too. he tells me all the things i want to hear and then some - i got all psychotic last night (my term, no one else's) about the situation - i want to go there and don't want to go there all at the same time....makes me crazy.... sigh.


cheers to the crushies!
greenbean
Yeah Mouse! I was talking to some single friends about dating yesterday (guys and girls) and we girls we're complaining that we keep dating jerks. The boys' advice was to try dating someone that wasn't our "type". So maybe Lawyer is good for you cuz he wasn't your type initially(?) Can't wait to hear about the second date! Oh, and I've also noticed a trend in ladies waxing their arms...which seems kinda silly since you never hear guys say "oh yeah, she is so hot, shes got the smoothest arms!" heh. I think guys like soft body hair when its on places like the arms or belly..or like a recent guy friend told me, he loves noticable peach fuzz on womens' breasts.

Snarky, just breathe, sounds like yer doing fine!

Lauren, prolly was a good thing that you had the other guy around to prevent a hasty hook-up with the crush. Its better to get to know him more before you jump in...not that I follow that advice but I want to get more self-control myself biggrin.gif

Flanker, same with you, sounds like a good situation to take slow. He may very well be a great catch, but it sounds like you've decided not to jump in just for the sake of sex, which is commendable. But I definately think you should casually ask if he has a girlfriend, before you think about him 'in that way' anymore.

I have yet another crush (jeez I'm boy-crazy) but I am not, I repeat am NOT going to flirt with him! I met him through a group of great potential friends at an ultimate frisbie game over the weekend. His nickname is already Bruiser so I'll refer to him by that. Since I don't want to screw anything up with the group (who knows, maybe a girl in the group has a crush on him, is an ex, etc....basically I need to learn the social politics of the group first before I jump on one of the members). Anyway, turns out Bruiser and I have the same artistic interests, and we exchanged info. I just got an email from him saying he loves my work and he wants to get togther and make t-shirts (he has a silk-screen). Soooo, I think I'll take him up on it but gosh darnit greenbean, NO FLIRTING!!!!
stargazer
Yay for mouse!! how could he not love you?? you are adorable!! good luck on date 2!

flanker, aw!! that story is so cute. next time you see him, give him your digits, dude. and then make him work it. it is great you have a friendship thing going on. very cute.

greenbean, good luck with the new crush! may i suggest a chastity belt for you?? i'll hold the key for you. wink.gif
raisingirl
That's it. I've decided that I need to hang out in this thread in order to help to attract more crushes into my life.

I've been single for an embarassing length of time.

*runs off to read archives*
Muffy
mouse, Yah!!! kisses at the end of dates are good smile.gif

oh and snarky7, deep breaths deep breaths. I understand I've been single for like forever then I met someone who is fabulous and I have to remind myself to take things day by day and not freak out if she doesn't call for a few days.

hey laurenann, I wear boots in August! They're army boots *shrugs* but I always pair them with a cute skirt. That said, the only men that can really dress themselves are gay. I wouldn't hold his fashion sense against him.
laurenann
texted my crush last night about meeting me and my roommates (my best friend and her boyfriend) at a bar in our new neighborhood. he practically ran over. my friend is very social, so she did a lot of the talking, though i did get a chance to tell the story about the time in highschool when i got stuck in philadelphia with a bunch of skinheads from the internet. the crush and i seem to like a lot of the same kind of stuff. we had a few beers there and then went to the bar next door to my place to check out "bluegrass night". my roommate and her boyfriend had some sort of stupid fight halfway through their beers, so they went home. so we hung out for about another half hour just the two of us, which was awkward and exciting, you know? he jokingly offered to walk me home (seriously, the bar is NEXT door) and said goodbye with a high five. so, nothing much, but i'm full of anticipation for the next few weeks.

and for those of you who read the fantasy thread, there were several double (i'm just gonna spell in phonetically) ahn-tan-dras made about the van wink.gif...
greenbean
Stargazer I'm counting on you!!
Who knows when I'm actually gonna hang out with this guy, cuz even though he's been emailing everyday and dropping "we should" statements,..he hasnt actually set anything up yet. Maybe hes bullshiting, just bored at his computer, dunno. I think he might be pretty great though,..*crossing my fingers that he's genuine.*
mouse
man...i don't think i like lawyer, but i think he REALLY seems to like me. i am very confused by this but nonetheless it isn't fair to him to string him along if i know that i don't have any interest in it. he is perfectly fine, but he is not making me fluttery at all and i would far rather be single that be with someone i'm not ass-over-teakettle for. i want to date someone i can't wait to see again, and i am just feeling apprehensive and worrying about this one. i have been in that unbalanced he-likes-me-more situation before and it is AWFUL.

so, please tell me, what's the most polite thing to do? i've already agreed to go on a movie date with him on sunday. i can do that, but after, what do i do? how do i tell him i'm not into it?
stargazer
mouse, what is it you like/dislike about lawyer?? i think you are overthinking things too much. but, it is me. if you don't feel it, then don't go on the second date.

greenbean, ok, i will be expecting a key in the mail!! rolleyes.gif

laurenann, i think you should start doing things with your crush where other people are not involved. it will be your only way to get to know him.
mornington
*delurks*

mouse, maybe you are overthinking (i do, a lot) so... you could give him a chance, see how you feel on your date, and then... Although yes, the feeling of him being more into you than him is unpleasant, but see how it goes. his enthusiasm might be infectious wink.gif
mouse
basically i just don't like him enough for it to be okay that i met him on the internet.
mornington
hehe - then just say "sorry, you're a great date, but no thanks". There's nothing wrong with that, you just sounded undecided in your post, but when you put it like that...
laurenann
haha, mouse, that is a great quote that i am going to remember.

i made out with my crush, whee! i met up with him and two of our friends for drinks late-ish last night. he insisted on escorting me home (there have been sexual assaults going on in my neck of chicago). we sat really close on the train and talked and laughed and flirted. when we got back to my place the lights were on upstairs, so i invited him up to hang out with my roommates and the people they had over. we had another beer and hung out for a bit, then they all crashed, he helped me clean up the bottles, and we kissed in the kitchen. it was awesome, but we were kinda drunk so after a little bit i said he should probably go home. he said "or, i could stay..." and i had a nanosecond fight in my head between my common sense and my sexual frustration. but i think making him leave was a great move from many angles - now he's totally lusting for me and he knows i'm not easy, even when i've been drinking. but, man, i REALLY liked kissing him.
stargazer
yay for laurenann!!
flanker_ji
Thanks for the input, ladies. I can't wait to find out what happens next time I see him.

In related news... I just saw the girl my crush is/was dating at Starbucks (she works there). I wanted to ask her if she was dating him so badly! It didn't help that she looked really good. Like she had a hot date right after work... meanwhile I'm in a t-shirt and sweatpants, sick and ready to hit the bed. *sigh*

Congrats laurenann, sounds like things are off to a good start!

If you haven't already mouse, I'd call and cancel the Sunday date, and tell him why.
mouse
ugh but flanker that's so mean! "sorry, i don't like you enough"

isn't there a way i can put it nicely, or lie about it? anyway, i already promised to go on this date and i am not the standing-up type so there's really nothing i can do but go on it. i feel bad. i feel really bad. but i don't know what to do. i guess this kind of thing happens all the time though right? people date people and find out they don't actually like them? why am i so ill equipped to handle this sort of shit? christ. no wonder i'm single.
greenbean
Mouse, just go on the date an keep and open mind...maybe when you get to know him better you'll be more interested. If not, and he still wants to keep dating, just politely tell him that you just want to be friends. It happens.

I know what you mean about wanting to be with someone that immediatly gives you all those crazy tingly feelings, but some people grow on you. My sister is in a relationship with someone she didnt initially like, but he proved himself over time and now they are in love. Of course, this hasn't happened to me...I've given "good on paper" guys (that I wasn't crazy about) some time to excite me and they failed. I understand that the guys that do excite me tend to want to stay single, but gawd help me I keep trying.

I'm going to see my crush next weekend at a *swim* party. Eeep! Gotta go make a bikini wax appointment and start on some sit-ups!
_octinoxate
Hey mouse, I think a good general polite turn-down is something like this: "you're a really great guy: smart, fun, handsome [or whatever you can sincerely say!].. but I just don't feel that click, or that 'chemistry' that's supposed to be there. You know what I mean? But anyway, it was fun getting to know you, and thanks for a good date!"
laurenann
mouse, what's new with your work crush?

and thanks flanker, things ARE off to a pretty good start. we had an AWESOME weekend - we hung out for a few hours saturday afternoon walking around by the lake and then bbqued with our friends. walking around the lake was fun because i'm brand new here and he got to kinda play tour guide, and we just talked to whole time and got to know each other. today we all went to the wisconsin state fair, which was SO MUCH FUN. i kissed him once when we were waiting to get off the zipper, 'cause it didn't seem like he was gonna make any moves - he has a bit of a reputation of being a slutty drunk, but i think he's a little shy with me because he, like, actually LIKES me. after i dropped him off at home he sent me a text saying our friends are cock blockers and asked if i wanted to go to a show on wednesday. i am thrilled with these developments!! this guy is fun, handsome, and likes the same things i do - what more could i ask for right now??

aaand, i will stop talking about myself smile.gif...
mouse
lauren, that's SO EXCITING! congrats!

and greenbean, if you need a recommendation for bikini waxing PM me--i swear by this one spa in west hollywood. stern motherly russian ladies are the best for ripping hair out of delicate areas. good luck!

i had another date with lawyer. he is okay. just like last time. he is okay. i kind of brought up the "what are your expectations for this" question and he says he doesn't have any and i was kind of delicately trying to say that i didn't want to lead him on but he kept kissing me so i just kind of ended up saying i didn't want anything serious which i think is kind of a ridiculous thing to say on the second date but i guess my hemming and hawing may hopefully preclude any leading him on i may be doing. i wouldn't mind seeing him again, we can keep up conversation and, like i said, there is nothing i DISLIKE about him, just really nothing i am excited by. EH. but i feel less worried and guilty that he might want something vastly different than i do.

i have to say though, it is a very peculiar (nice! but peculiar!!) feeling to be taken out by a gentleman who does things the traditional way, by which i mean, spends a lot of money on you. i mean he's not buying me diamonds but he pays for everything and we go to kind of nice places. for you grey's anatomy fans, alex karev was eating at another table at the same restaurant we went to tonight...

(oh and lauren, nothing is new with work crush. i just have a big crush on him but i have a feeling nothing will ever happen because, uh, we work together)
_octinoxate
Mouse, are you going to go on another date with the lawyer, then?

So, crushies, will you excuse some self-indulgence on my part, here? I have a little bit of a conundrum that I'm hoping y'all can give me some input on:

I've had my eyes on a very pretty boy for a couple of months now. When I first laid eyes on him, I thought he was intimidatingly pretty, but I struck up a conversation with him nonetheless. It went very well, but it turned out he lived on the other side of the country. Fast forward three months and he's here now, in my city, working at the place I met him at. It's a neat little place, a sanctuary from the outside world, that I love and go to frequently. When I was in last week, I casually asked him on an outing this past weekend, and he (eagerly, it seemed) accepted. Score! We went out on Saturday night (he showed up dressed to the nines) and had a grand time...

...but there was no flirtation, no kiss, no nothing! I figured he was either (1) shy (2) gay (3) just not that into me. But then tonight, we went out again (second night in a row) and again, spent several hours, had a very nice time. Again, NOTHING on the romance front. And we were lying out on a sleeping bag watching a fucking meteor shower-- it couldn't have been a better time. The whole time his body language was very closed off-- I'm talking lying at the edge of the sleeping bag, arms crossed over his body. Conveniently, at one point the conversation turned to our parents thinking we were gay, and during the course of the discussion (when prompted) he made it clear he was indeed straight. So now the only hypotheses that are left are (1) he's shy (2) he's not diggin' on me.

So, the basic question is, which is it? Shy or disinterested? And how do I know? Normally I don't have a problem making the first move--but I only do so if I'm getting signals that it would be welcome. I don't want to make the guy uncomfortable, and I certainly don't want to make it so that it's awkward every time I go to the place he works (I'm there several times a week). And of course, rejection is no fun, either!

Right now, it seems maybe the more likely explanation is that he likes me a lot and really does enjoy our time together, but he only wants me as a friend. That would be fine with me-- but it would be a damn shame to miss out on something more just because both of us were too shy/in the dark to make a move. Is there some way I can feel this out, or make a move in a really easy-going, unintimidating way? (Normally I'm quite direct-- eg, "hey, can I kiss you?" smile.gif but I think I need a different approach for this one!)

Any perspective on this would be great!
ImDancingBarefoot
((((((CRUSHIES))))))

It's been ages. Stupid work and school getting in the way. Been lurking and reading archives for the past few days. I have missed so much!

Congrats to Laurenann, sounds like things are going well!

_octinoxate, I agree that it could either be shyness or disinterest. I think he could also be confused as to whether or not he's into you, if he should pursue you romantically since you frequent the place he works, etc. Does it seem he is making an effort ot close himself off? I think at the moment your best bet may be to hang out with him some more and just see how things go before making any moves.

On the crush front for me . . . I think everything has changed since I last posted months ago. I broke up with my open-relationship boyfriend of five years in February. We are still friends and do still have the *ahem* "benefits" when we see each other. Crush du Jour is no more. Turned out to be a dumbass but there was a night with very lovely portions. The friend with benefits has become just a friend and is now dating a very awesome girl.

Anyway, I am very much enjoying being single and flirting and various intrigues, entanglements, and a few crushes. biggrin.gif This is going to be kind of long, sorry folks.

New friend with benefits: I've known this guy for years. We've been pretty flirty and occasionally gone further than that but we were both in relationships. I broke up with my ex in February, he and his ex split in May. It was pretty inevitable that we'd hook up. Finally really hooked up at the beginning of July. Fun adventure was had there. Not really crushing on him though which is kind of weird. There is definitely chemistry and we are great friends but I don't think I am interested in pursuing anything with him in the slightest. I don't think this one is really much of a crush, just some really fun portions.

Guy I have been seeing more than platonically: So I met this guy through friends at Lost nights. Was interested in hanging out with him outside of it. He seemed really interesting and was pretty cute. We hung out, he was thinking it was a date, I was thinking it was a maybe date. Told him I was getting out of a relationship and not looking for anything serious at all, he was cool with that, we decided to see how things go. Been hanging out for over a month now. On friday he left to go on tour with his band for a month. I've been taking things really slow with this one because I'm worried about things going too far and him getting hurt. He has never dated more than one person at a time, I can't be tied down to one person right now. He says he's cool with it though. Last weekend we ended up having sex. I told him I wasn't sure it was a good idea, he said he understands what's up and he's fine with it. I didn't really have any other hesitations so . . . a good time was had by all. Fast forward to Thursday. We were talking about sex and I ask him about how old he was when he lost his virginity. He tells me he will tell me sometime in the future. I say, "Well, now I'm really curious" we're laughing and then I jokingly say "It wasn't last weekend was it?" He says, "Ummmm . . . " I say, "No way!" He says, "Yeah" and this kind of goes back and forth a few times. I had no idea. Needless to say, I am impressed. laugh.gif I'm also worried about him getting hurt.

Two guys I met while I was with my ex (Potential Crushes): One of these guys I've been emailing back and forth with all year. There tend to be long pauses between responses because one of us gets caught up in something. We're supposed to get together sometime. The other guy was with his now ex when I met him. Ran into him during former booty buddy's birthday thang at a bar. exchenged emails, exchanged numbers, seen each other out a few times. Met up at a club where some mutual friends were spinning and flirtiness ensued, then he met up with me at a bar I was hanging out at for a friend's birthday party. More flirtiness and drunken make-outs ensued. Unfortunately I was a little too drunk and do not remember them so well. Dammit! Haven't been able to get together since, tried a few times but I have been told by a friend of mine that he asks about me every time he sees her.

New crush: I met this guy when I helped out a friend with the 48 Hour film Festival. I noticed that this really cute guy kept looking at me. This continued throughout the weekend. And a bunch of teasing and joking and such. He was one of the people who went to the screening, then we all went to a restaurant. Boy and I split a pitcher of beer with some help from others. More flirting, end of the night I hug him good-bye and kiss him on the cheek. He totally was expecting to go in for a kiss when I pulled back. Would have kissed him, really wanted to, but we were standing right in the middle of the other people who worked on the film with us. Ran into him briefly at Comic Con, noticed he kept putting his hand in the small of my back when he'd end up walking behind me. He offered to drive me to the cast party one of our castmates had for the film which involved him going way out of the way. We turned out to be the only ones from the cast who were able to make it (a few other friends of his also showed after awhile) so we hung out for a bit, then I took him to a bar in my neck of the woods. Things got cozy at the bar, a few kisses were exchanged. Really nice night. We were supposed to do something this weekend but nothing ever happened. He's three years younger than me. Very much crushing on this one.

A girl!: She has a boyfriend and I don't think is really interested in girls. But she's super hot and smart and talented . . . is it wrong for me to hope that I end up getting naked with my friend with benefits and her and her man again? Only with me being less trashed and without the awkward interruption. Or, you know, I would be ok if there was no nudity, can I just make out with her on occasion again? Please? This isn't really something to be pursued though, I'm really liking getting to be friends with this girl.

Ok, so that is where I'm at. If anyone read this far, thanks! Is there such a thing as too many crushes? I feel like I have more than I should but I'm having fun. And I should probably make my way over to the Portions thread.
_octinoxate
Barefoot, sounds like you've got a whole big smorgasboard of awesome, fun crush opporunities! Cool! (My favorite is the virgin guy-- I just think that's the sweetest thing. smile.gif )

Thanks for your input on my prettyboy! I think you're probably right about needing to be patient with the situation-- and it does seem likely that he'd feel weird getting involved with a customer, because he takes his job seriously (he moved out here for it!), and he does act a bit awkward/closed with me when I'm in there now (but is still cool with me when we hang outside work). Hm... I'm reminded of the advice: "Some say 'don't just sit there- do something!', but I say 'don't just do something- sit there!'"
mouse
octi, i think you should find some way to subtly express your *romantic* interest in prettyboy. he's obviously into you at least your personality, and part of me thinks that if he just wanted to be friends he probably would have made that clear from the get go. i am someone who is really shy and bad at expressing interest in someone i am interested in unless i have cold hard proof that they are into me too (i am usually unresponsive until they are two inches from my face with their eyes closed and lips pursed, heh) so maybe try some subtle body language flirting and see how he responds. physical contact always helps relax me, it might help with him. good luck!


i don't know if i will go out with lawyer again. he said he would call me. he also said he wants to come home with me, which i'm assuming is a delicate way of saying he wants to fuck me. which i am not sure how i feel about. i like the idea of getting laid but i'm just not sure how much chemistry we have and if i would just feel uncomfortable and awkward about the whole thing.
greenbean
Oooo, Octi-- I've been in those situations before,..sometimes its cuz they're shy, sometimes they just want to be friends. I have found that the surefire way to find out is to give him the doe-eyes,..you know, when your head is a bit downcast and you stare directly in his eyes and hold it as hes talking, and kinda smirk if you are ballsy. If hes interested, he won't be able to resist,..he'll either kiss you or say something like "gah, yer pretty". If he ain't interested, he'll get all uncomfortable or totally ignore it.

Thanks Mouse, I *did* make an appointment with a Russian woman, but its not in west hollywood. If I don't like her I'll contact you for the next time 'round. Oh, and lawyer wanting to sleep with you is an easy out. Tell him you "aren't that kind of girl!" and act all offended tongue.gif

jeez, dancing Barefoot, you have more crushes than me! And a surprise virgin!? Wow. I've never had a virgin before altho there have been a few one-offs where I wondered if they could have been. But he wasn't terrible? Wow!
anna k
Laurenann, I like reading your stories, they sound very sweet and sexy.

_octinoxate
Thanks for the perspective, greenbean, mouse, and barefoot! I guess I'll just play it by ear, keep hanging out with the guy, and maybe step up the body language/doe-eyes/flirtation if there's a good moment for it. But gah, I am SO outside my comfort zone with this whole subtlety thing smile.gif It also doesn't help that I'm feeling, well, ugly lately. I've been breaking out like MAD and have put on maybe five pounds, and it makes me doubt myself and my confidence... I find myself thinking unhelpful things like, "he seems to like my personality, but maybe he'd be interested in me as more than a friend if I didn't look so damn unpretty lately." sad.gif sad.gif sad.gif

Mouse, I've found that for me, I can generally gauge the sexual chemistry I'd have with a man based on kissing, or dancing, or some other erotic physical thing. Do you get any sense of what the sex would be like with the lawyer based on those types of clues?
mouse
caveat: i am drunk right now.

i think i could easily fuck lawyer if i was a little drunk. i think when i am sober i tend to overthink things to a fault (this is something i am trying hard to work on). the first time we kissed it was awesome. the second date he used a little too much tongue. i am not against tongue when kissing but if your chin ends up saliva-y it is kind of overboard. but i definitely think i could happily fuck him if i was sure he was not expecting some grand romance to come of it. which i think i covered with my little hemming and hawing on sunday. i would not mind having some dude to have sex with, REALLY. it has been a while.

i think honestly my main block is that i met him on the fucking internet and i am not in a space where anonymity is my friend. when i was living in the middle of nowhere with no one anywhere remotely like me i would have killed for something like this, but where i am now i have a lot of friends and it's more difficult to carry on something covert. if i say "i met him in a bar" it doesn't really ring true because whenever i'm at a bar, my friends are there too, so it's a little more complicated.

i think honestly i would like to look at this as a learning experience and something that will teach me about "dating" as a human interaction. i am realizing more and more that my reactions towards people who are attracted to me are kind of fucked up--see my response to octi about how i am utterly unresponsive to anyone until they are two inches from my face.

it's weird...like--i'm really confident in myself in pretty much any aspect except when it comes to other people. i know i'm an awesome person, i'm smart, passably attractive, and interesting. i'm really confident in my skills as an artist and that is coming along well. but somehow i never expect other people to see it. i'm always surprised and flattered when my friends think i'm awesome, and even more so when boys (or girls) i'm interested in do. it's difficult for me to be confident in that but i think i'm slowly getting better. i hope so, at least.


/end self-centered drunk post
ImDancingBarefoot
Octinoxate: I feel a bit weird sometimes about having so many. Like, should a person really have this many crushes. It is a lot of fun though.
I'm usually a big proponent of taking action but occasionally, it can be better to sit on it for a bit. I think greenbean and mouse have really good ideas too. Also, remember, you are a sexy beast!

Mouse: Are you open to doing a no-strings attached fuck with lawyer? If so, you should go for it! Worst that can happen, he's lousy, you never have to do it again. And remember, you are awesome!

Greenbean: No, he was not terrible. Far from terrible. Could use some work of course biggrin.gif but he has more than a little *ahem* "innate skill". I really didn't believe him when he told me at first. I kept thinking, "But you didn't suck."

-IDB
_octinoxate
Mouse, can you put your finger on just why you feel so uncomfortable about having met this guy online? I met someone online before and felt fine with it... and for the most part, my friends weren't weirded out or anything. (Only one girl, who's much more an acquaintance anyway, thought that dudes who post personals are creepy or whatever.) But really, I see online dating as super mainstream/normal nowadays. Is that not the case in your neck of the woods/ social circles? Anyway, I'm kinda a horndog, but the net thing wouldn't stop me from getting some ass if everything else was cool about the situation smile.gif

Thanks for the "sexy beast" pep talk, IDB smile.gif I got dressed up in my sexy beast best before going in to his place of work today, but he wasn't there. Ah well, I still enjoyed myself plenty! Thinking of inviting him to a cage fighting match this weekend... haha, romantic date idea, right?

BTW, IDB, I sure hope you told this guy he was so good it was hard to believe he'd been a virgin- I'm sure he'd LOVE to hear that, esp. as he was probably a bit nervous! smile.gif
mouse
barefoot, that's so cute about the virgin! and awesome that he was actually GOOD. i devirginized my second boyfriend and he was TERRIBLE for weeks.

octi--actually, the majority of my friends here are not internet-oriented at all and wouldn't get it. they would all far rather be single than consider dating someone they didn't meet in real life first. and like i said, i don't like him enough to stand up for myself about it. i actually met my last boyfriend the same way, but it turned out that we had a bunch of mutual friends already so it was easy to say "oh we met through friends" because we probably would have anyway. there's no almost-true story for me and lawyer, and i'm really bad at lying. and even though i've done it and don't, personally, have an issue with it, i think meeting dates online still does carry quite a stigma, and i can completely understand it, too. nobody likes to think that they can't meet people in real life. anyway, the net thing isn't what's making me hesitant--it's the fact that i don't really like him. but i'm confused, because there is nothing wrong with him. i'm just not really feeling it.

anyway, we'll see how things go. i get the feeling that lawyer would be solidly good in bed and know what he was doing, but i'm not sure how dirty he would be. i am a girl who would much rather get my hair pulled than stroked while doin' it, especially with someone i'm not emotionally invested in, and i have a feeling lawyer is more into the latter.

as for work crush...god he is so dreamy. at least *i* think so. i think everyone else would think i am crazy but there is something about him that makes me melty even if i just catch him out of the corner of my eye. he is also kind of brainy and sarcastic and i like that a lot. today we both went to buy stuff from the taco truck at the same time and we exchanged the typical "how's it goin" "oh, you know. at work. it's goin" pleasantries and then i got so awkward and tongue tied trying to think of something else relevant to say that i just gave up and walked away without even saying bye. what am i, in eighth grade??? christ!

i think *he* would be good and dirty in bed. why can't they change places? *pout*
laurenann
mouse, i kinda met my last boyfriend the same way - he saw me around a bunch, found my profile online and we talked online a bit, then we started hanging out in real life and it turned out we had a lot of friends in common. i used to tell people he stalked me down online when they asked how we met. in high school i used to meet a ton of people online through music chat rooms, and some of those guys i ended up going on dates with afterwards. does that count as "meeting online"? i've never, like, met someone online for the sole purpose of dating them.

i'm having cold feet about hanging out with my crush tonight. my friends were freaking me out last night - telling me about how he's supposedly tired of the singles scene and "really wants a girlfriend" - and i'm like AHH I DON'T EVEN WANT TO THINK ABOUT TALKING ABOUT THIS KIND OF STUFF. i seriously want zero expectations in my life right now. i am fully committed to playing it by ear, seeing what happens, and other cliches. and anyway, my friends are all married for chris'sakes, i don't need their input.

this guy really is the bees knees though. i've been thinking about him all the time. how long do you guys think i can keep him as just some guy i hang around with??

ETA: the date (date?) was fine. the show was awesome, and then we got a bite to eat. we were close to his place, so he said he could drive me home. we ended up making out like high schoolers at his place for a little bit, which i think was the plan all along. he told me i am someone he likes when he's sober, which is a compliment, haha.
stargazer
wow. dating online is such a normal thing nowadays. i feel odd cause i don't do it. it's just the way it is if you are older and a working professional. i wouldn't get too caught up in what others think. if you like a guy, then date him. screw how you met him.
Muffy
stargazer, I'm in my 30's and I date people I've met online. There's plenty of 'old folks' like us online dating. The gal I'm dating is the same age as me.

Hey Mouse, you could always ask for the hair-pulling BDSM fun, though its not as much fun to have to ask for it I know... though maybe the conversation of you not wanting much out of it should be again brought up just so he knows where he stands before you get down and dirty with him. I haven't gotten that far with my crush yet, fingers crossed when it gets there.


laurenann I hope everything worked out with you and your crush the other evening smile.gif
mouse
(edited for snarkiness & discussion that should be held elsewhere. i would just like to gently say that there is a marked difference between non-hair-stroking sex and full on bdsm)
anna k
I was telling my friend about a guy I've been IMing with for a few weeks, who is into music (jazz and Zappa and classic rock), and I said how I've been into guys who were into obscure music trivia, but that I ended up being more platonic with them. My friend suggested to look for guys outside my type (I will when I move back to NYC and get my shit together), and that guys who collect a lot of obscure trivia tend to be insecure geeks, which I can vouch for.
glassk
QUOTE(mouse @ Aug 14 2007, 07:57 AM) *
it's weird...like--i'm really confident in myself in pretty much any aspect except when it comes to other people. i know i'm an awesome person, i'm smart, passably attractive, and interesting. i'm really confident in my skills as an artist and that is coming along well. but somehow i never expect other people to see it. i'm always surprised and flattered when my friends think i'm awesome, and even more so when boys (or girls) i'm interested in do. it's difficult for me to be confident in that but i think i'm slowly getting better. i hope so, at least.
/end self-centered drunk post



WoRD!!! mouse, that is exactly how i feel and VERY well-articulated.......
_octinoxate
Hi crushies!

So mouse, what's the verdict? Will you be going for a roll in the hay this weekend, or not?

Lauren, oh my, sometimes well-intentioned friends just need to stay out of it, huh? I wouldn't put too much weight in what they say, since half the time that hearsay stuff is off-base anyway.

Anyone else have crush progress/news? I have zero, because PrettyBoy is out of town. (So, no cage fighting outing, haha!) I've decided, anyway, to move forward without any particular agenda or strategy or anything, but rather just to enjoy his company and leave it t that. The rest will come, or it won't. Either way will be cool.

...but DAMN is that boy pretty. And he can make me laugh, which i'm a huge sucker for.
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