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period_monster
Hello crushies! I hope your adventures continue to be mostly positive. So e-man and I have gotten together three times now. Last night, he stayed over. biggrin.gif We kept our clothes on, but I got off many times. Wishing you all similarly fruitful crush sessions.
anna k
Sounds really sweet, period_monster!

I had a nice chat with my guy yesterday. He had sent me a text each day for a few days on the weekend, asking if I was avaliable to hang out. Since we've mostly had sex, I was thinking he just saw me as a booty call, and didn't want to feel like cheap ass. I would tell him that I was busy, and talked to him, writing him an email saying that I knew what our deal was (not a serious relationship, just fun), but if he just saw me as a cheap hookup. It was bold, but I just didn't feel comfortable at the moment. He called me on the phone later, saying that I definetly wasn't cheap, and not just a hookup, and that he liked having sex with me, but wanted to hang out in a friendly way, too. I felt relieved, not just feeling like ass, and that we could be together without just fooling around. So maybe in a week or so we could have a day date, and it would make me feel better. I'm looking forward to it.
period_monster
I'm hanging out with e-man again tonight. AnnaK, good work on setting your boundaries and getting what you need out of the relationship or non-relationship.

~~~~~continued well wishes to all crushing busties~~~~~
anna k
I hope you had a good night with e-man, period_monster!
period_monster
He came over and cooked me dinner, and then we stayed up almost all the night. Before leaving for work in the morning, he got me off again--to start the day properly. Of course, now he gets his too. I'd forgotten what fun the beginning can be, with all the talking and all the snuggling, and then, there are the portions. wink.gif We've got plans set up already, so I don't have to worry about his continued interest. I am a making myself a bit sick with how gushy I am.

Squee
anna k
Yay period_monster! That sounds so nice and fun and exciting!

I received an email from my guy. We had already talked, but he got my email later, and responded to it. He was very mature and matter-of-fact, saying he wouldn't have me in his home or bed if he didn't like me, and that our relationship is largely sexual, and there's nothing wrong with it, it's a good and healthy experience. He said he also wanted to hang out with me, and our sexual times don't subtract respect from me, they add it, in some way. And that when he was texting me it wasn't a "cheap booty call," but he just liked seeing me. I feel relieved and happy, that while we're not serious, it's more than just cheap NSA sex. It feels good to me, and makes me feel happy. I may or may not see him tonight.
period_monster
AnnaK--that's great. I am so glad you discussed it with him rather than letting it fester. I hope if you see him tonight, you can have some hot portions!
futura
Not much going on right now. Drama guy has been in touch, there's this vague notion of getting together next week. We'll see.

Yesterday evening i went to this city-beach party. my friends were coming as well, but i got there earlier. I looked around and i saw fc standing a couple of feet away, with some of his friends. I decided to look around for other people first, before walking up to him.
Because i didn't see anyone familiar i said hi to fc and his friends. We talked and then he got a call from his cellphone and excused himself. I guessed right; it was a girl calling. His friends were talking about her. At first i thought it was just a date, but it turned out to be yet another girlfriend.

After a while i walked over to my friends, who had arrived. And later in the evening fc and his gf started to get physical. It didn't bother me too much.
Fc came up to me and we talked some. After a while his gf joined us to say she came to get him because his friends wanted to go to another venue. They started smooching and stuff. At some point, my two friends were either ordering beer at the bar, or taking a leak, because i was sitting on a bench with fc and his girl kissing next to me. O. My. Cod. Get a friggin' room! I get it that girls think you're hot, i get it that you like her. It was uncomfortable.

But in a way it was good that it happened because now i see clearly that i have way too much class for this guy. My friend also commented on it when we left. He called fc a 'clown', and said he was curious how long it will take fc before he fucks up this relationship.

Earlier that evening fc seemed to think that i was bothered. He got all sensitive toward me. All i could think was 'fuck you, don't do that, i'm not some hapless chick you can control'.

It is weird; i get the distinct notion that fc wants my approval, my respect. But at the same time he wants to act like a player. It's so immature. My feelings for him haven't gone entirely yet, so at some level i'm a bit bothered by it. It was just so...cheap. He was shoving it in my face.

I talked to my bf and she was like 'he still likes you, but he doesn't know how to handle himself around you.' I'm not as arrogant as to believe he still crushes on me, but it was almost like he wanted me to be jealous.

The good thing is that i can laugh about it, not take it too seriously. I mean, i wasn't the one making an ass of myself.
flanker_ji
Oh cod, how akward! It never ceases to amaze me how far some people will go just to get a reaction out of you... I know for me, that night would extinguish whatever was left of my feelings for him.

Anna and period, it sounds like you've got some good things going on!

I'm still doing the new relationship thing with the boyfriend. smile.gif
futura
Flanker, i know. WHY oh why do i even care?? I told my bff about it and she was like 'loser!' I joked that she should chat him up on my upcoming birthday party (i actually invited him cos i thought we were friends, mutual respect and all). She was like 'hell no. I don't do children.'

So you're cruising along nicely with the boyfriend, eh? Good stuff!
flanker_ji
"Hell no. I don't do children."

LOL!
purplestain
I posted here then switched it to the "moving on" thread... anyone want to help me out over there?
purplestain
Okay, someone in the "moving on" thread said my post would be better suited to this thread, so here's what I posted again:

I'm 18, and I briefly dated my Hot Friend just over a year ago, for a couple of months, nothing too serious. We didn't have sex while we were dating, but we ended up having sex a few months later - the first time for both of us. It was just for fun... but then I went to college, lost touch with a lot of old friends, got really lonely and depressed, and you guessed it: developed a huge and completely debilitating crush on him for like six months. I felt like I was going crazy. All of my feelings were MUCH MUCH stronger than they had EVER been before or while we were dating. Long story short, we decided to cut off contact for a while, I got over it, started hanging out with another guy, everything was better. But then we began spending time together again annnnnd having sex again, after much discussion about how neither of us wanted to date the other (which was honestly how I felt at the time).

Now he's interested in another girl so we've stopped, but... I'm starting to want him in that way again, and I hate it. I want to hook up with someone else to move on, but I don't feel comfortable doing that with someone I'm not friends with, and there are no viable candidates. Absolutely no one seems to measure up, and I can't imagine being able to trust anyone else as much as I trust him. Also, he is my physical ideal and smells really good. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO????? Am I just being young and naive? How does everyone else in college have functional relationships when every guy here is an immature douchebag?? I can't fake liking someone but sometimes I wish I could just so I could Have A Boyfriend. Help help help me please.
futura
Purplestain, i'll try and answer your question. Thta's because i think i've been in a somewhat similar position (but not actually dating). Last year i slept and hung out with a guy. In my time away from him i began to get obsessed. The guy turned out to be too untrustworthy, too immature, and too douchebaggy to top it off. But i know the feeling of wanting someone really bad and knowing it's unobtainable.
All i can say is that i think you need some time to yourself. He wants another girl and that is not you. Nobody wants to hear that kind of thing, but that's reality i guess ( the guy i hung out with told me he wasn't the relationship kind but after me he's had 2 'relationships'). Just try and do your own thing. I get the feeling you'd like to be intimate with him also because you feel alone. We all need lovin'. But from my POV, i would leave it alone for now, let it go. You say you hate the feeling, so maybe i'm stating what you already think or know. I'm quite new to dating, having been in 2 longterm relationships for most of my life.

Best of luck, and keep us posted!



futura
For now i couldn't care less about guys. I was talking to a friend this weekend and i explained the way i view dating and she was like; you're so sobering, i think guys get really confused when dating you. Apparently i think like a man, and for some reason they can't handle that.

I'm done with drama guy and every weekend new stories about FC (re) surface. He's such a whore, trying to pull every girl in his vicinity, it doesn't even really matter if he likes the girl or not. For now i don't even think i want him as a friend. It's been a while since i have been so dissappointed in someone. It's not a good feeling. I can't even talk to him about it because he can't handle the truth.

Fact is that i have to let go of all of this in order to allow new guys to notice me. Done with the old, in with the new, something like that.
cris99
Well this is life. All we need to do is to move forward. Nobody wants to stay in the same place all the time. That is gonna be wasted. So go find another and discover some new stories. You are free to do so.

feels good.
futura
Reviving the thread.

I was going to have a date last night, but due to circumstances the guy canceled. We'll meet up at some later date. I'm at this point where i'm like; does this guy want to get laid as well? Because he acts kind of shy and intimidated when IRL, but it's al xoxos and stuf thru email and stuff. Plus i've known him for a while but we were never much in contact. Until my ex and i broke up, that is.

Two weeks ago i got an email from a guy asking me about a novel i read. He read on my blog i read this book; it's one of his favourites. So i mailed back. And then he emailed some more. Turns out he's a writer. And his emails are the kind that makes you want to read them twice. I have no idea what this is about, but i find myself checking my inbox...
He gave his address and phone number (his name is kind of common, so he wanted to personalize it more). He'd also like to get together at some point and discuss the novel we both love over coffee. I'll keep you guys updated.

Oh and i keep getting text messages from drama guy. If he ever wants my superior booty again, he has to make a gesture. A real gesture. 'Nuff said.
anna k
I know this is late in posting, but I'm proud of how mature and "whatever" you are about drama guy, and I hope you're having fun with novel guy.

I still see my FWB on and off. It's nice to have him in my life, I last saw him about two and a half weeks ago. He texted me on Wednesday night, just saying "Crazy week. Hope you are well." It was nice to receive. Lately I've been taking a break from sex, not wanting to do it if I'm not completely feeling it. I don't know when I'll see him again, but it will probably be sometime in the near future. Just whenever I'm with him, I feel really comfortable and happy, since we get along so well physically and emotionally, it's been a great benefit to me.

Also, when I was walking to work in NYC, he saw me and came up and hugged me, saying "I'm in a rush but it's really good to see you." I thought that was a nice surprise, since I hadn't noticed him.
anna k
I went out on a date tonight, but it wasn't great. It was a guy I had met in a horror movies meetup group. I had spoken to him twice, but found him awkward and off-putting, very talkative and a little much. He wrote me an email through the website saying how he remembered me and wanted to hang out, so I agreed. We met at a pizza parlor, and I honestly wasn't into him, datewise or friendwise. He was still very talkative, and I would talk too, but felt a little overwhelmed by him, and didn't like his rudeness towards the waitress when she brought him something he mistakenly ordered and she charged him for it (he ordered the same thing as me, but didn't hear my order exactly). I just didn't really like him for some intangible reason, but spent more time with him as we lived in the same area, and the train ended up being an express instead of a local, so we just walked to my neighborhood when we got to Astoria. I felt tired of him and sick of his talking, and would talk as well to be engaging, but just felt irritated by him.

I understand social awkwardness or going on and on and talking, but it just grated on me, and made me want to gracefully exit. Nevertheless, I sent him a nice text saying it was nice to get to know him better, just so I wouldn't come off as a frigid bitch. Ah well. It was nice to give him a chance, and I was flattered that he remembered me and liked me (even though it kind of creeped me out how he remembered minute things I said during our conversation two months ago).
crankyrobot
OK.
I direct a small summer camp on a college campus and I was given an assistant director this year on whom I'm developing quite a crush. He plays little tricks on me and I return that. But I can't tell if it's just that sort of fun summer camp tomfoolery or if he's honed in on me like I am on him. I mean, I know I should go with my gut, and my gut seems to think he's feeling it, but I'm so fucking self-conscious and unable to ask anyone how they feel.

I wish there was a way I could just read his mind or do something that would make him kiss me. We're definitely a little touchy with each other in a friendly way....I dunno.

Sometimes when we look at each other for just a little too long or when I see he uses the card I made him as a bookmark I'm all "YES IT HAS TO BE" but then I lose my confidence....I wish there was something I could do without completely throwing myself at him and setting myself up for rejection....

UGH.
I can't believe I'm pushing 30 and can't even figure out how to make a move....
No wonder I've been single for so long...
girl_logic
lol cranky, just reading your post made me feel like i was 17 again - it's kind of exhilarating though isn't it? i wish you could just enjoy it without worrying about the next step too much.
flanker_ji
Cranky, I was in the same situation last summer, it was great fun smile.gif

We were totally into one another, but we didn't consumate the crush because we worked together ALL day, every day. There's no way to escape from the little uncertainties you encounter with a new love interest, because we couldn't leave campus. We were on-call 24/7. Nevermind how annoying it would be to have to face him if things went south for the rest of the summer.

I know you may not have the same hang-ups as me, and in my case, the guy lived across the country, and we weren't compatible in a serious relationship way. My advice would be, if you still think by the end of the summer you'd like to pursue this guy, go for it then. For now, just enjoy the sexual tension, those moments when it's just the two of you doing something together, even if it's just a five minute break wink.gif
crankyrobot
Yeah I mean. It is just nice to have butterflies. It's hard to tell if we would make sense outside of summer camp because we both have to be different people when we're here. And yes, it would be hard to be in any sort of love-thing and working all the time around the clock (also always on call).

I mean, the season ends next week. I'd be interested in seeing what happens then. Although he lives halfway across the country....I dunno, I feel like I'm getting to an age where you kind of have to jump on romantic possibilities because you just never know what you'll find.

God, we had one of those short moments where we had a break last week....a camper had REALLY frustrated me to the point where I was just pissed off and after bedtime my assistant asked me if I wanted to talk about it. We sat outside and chatted for a while and then he was like "bike ride?"......he took me for a ride on his bike and i sat on his little bike rack and we went across the campus. It was so cute/silly/corny and I swear you could cut the tension with the knife.

I feel like a little kid again.....UGHHHH he just stopped by and we had that LOOK where we just STARE in each other eyes for like, way too long. I admit, it's really exciting, but I feel like my whole life has been full of "almosts" and I just wish for some kismet once in a while.

SIGH. Guess it's rabbit time!
hcbeck
A blog post that explores the 'He said it's love, I said "alright" ' idea:

QUOTE
If I'm thinking of going out with someone and they're quite nice, sort of alright, pleasant enough to be with for a short while, but deep down I know it'll never work, you know how it is, and they're keen, more keen than I am, and I should say No, I know I should say No, but they're quite fun, you know, for a bit, and we get on OK, shall we go out again next week, oh go on then, I'd rather not but I daren't say, and they'd probably be a good friend, not special but good, ...


More at http://diamondgeezer.blogspot.com/2009_07_...919033811079297
futura
Had a date with cute guy again last night. It was fun, going out, drinking, talking. The last time i visited him sex started when we were both in bed naked. I decided that i would make a move earlier in the game. So when i felt things were getting a bit awkward (me and him standing around in my living room talking for the sake of talking because we didn't really know how to start), i just walked up to him and put my arms around him. And after some kissing i pulled him to my bedroom. After we were both like half undressed i pushed him against the wall and we made out furiously. Hot monkey lovin'!

My bedroom is officially broken in. The virginity of my new bed is gone. Yay!
zoya
I'm going to say a pre-emptive "sorry" for not making mention of any of you guys' posts below - I'm super busy with work and just popping on for a sec because I HAVE to get this off my chest...

I have a total crush on this guy I'm working with on this short project I'm doing right now. I think it's kind of a mutual crush situation. We cross paths several times a day and we just have this comfortable, friendly banter, with a little bit of friendly, innocuous flirting thrown in. There's no overt sexual subtext, but definitely a flirty-crushie subtext. (albiet one of those flirty-crushie subtexts that both parties never acknowledge, which makes it more of that "summer camp" kind of hightened feeling)

It's not going to go anywhere - I found out by googling him that he's married with a kid.. although he's not said anything to me about that at all (which is a little weird, since we've been working together for a week now...Then again, there's been no line of any kind even alluded to being crossed, and it won't be, because that's not even remotely the vibe - so not really any reason to bring it up when we only cross paths a few times a day - plus I can tell he's a genuinely good guy)

anyway, I'm just enjoying the fun, crushy feeling of this little thing that is just at a really innocent, playful level and will stay there, in that slightly electric phase. I am also flattered as all hell that we have this little (seemingly) mutual innocent crush going, because he's someone that .... well lets just say that when I say he has a fan club, I'm not just using that as a euphemism.

***squeeee***
futura
Yay for crushes! Enjoy, Zoya!

Sooooo. I went to a party last night, hosted by FC. Though the whole thing fell a part a bit, i had a good time. I was drinking a beer with FC when he noticed a girl over at the bar. He had dated her for a while. We went over to the bar, talked some. We were joined by the dj, a good friend of FC. I even saw browneyedguy, but he was kind of wasted, so i figured a conversation wouldn't really work.

After the party we went to a club. FC's ex, his friend and i. I danced with some random guy, it was fun. FC's friend and his ex both live in a different city so they had to stay over at his place. By the time we went home (and sensing FC probably was going to bang his ex) i offered his friend to stay the night at my place. I know FC, and i know his friend wouldn't be particulary thrilled to crash on the couch and hear them have sex.

You should've seen FC's face when his friend told him he was going home with me. To be clear; this wans't some demented way to get back at FC, i genuinely like his friend, we get along really well. And i didn't invite him over for sex. But that's what happened. It's a one-off for me, but we had fun.
zoya
two new crushes -

one that I went on a date with and who is definitely into me... he's an awesome kisser, and just generally all around nice guy.

one that is a friend of the guy I'm working for right now - he's not conventionally cute, but his personality makes him way cute. He's also extremely successful in his (creative) profession, which is always attractive..

YES! two NICE, SINGLE guys in my world! wonders will never cease!!
zoya
wow, I think I'm the only one who has any crushie action... par for the course, actually, it seems. When everyone else is rockin' the crushes, I'm in the depths of shit. Anyway, I think I have a date next week with the most uber of uber geeks. We're gonna play scrabble and watch movies. I'm not 100% sure it's a date, because geeks can actually MEAN it when they say they want to "hang out" as opposed to that being code for a date. I'm a bit weirded out, cause he's actually older than me, which is not my M.O. at all. But he's nice and successful and in good shape, and he likes weird shit, so why not? Just as long as he doesn't bust out the video games while I'm around, it should be all good.
futura
Oh, nice Zoya! Let us know how the 'date' (not that i think it's not a date, just what you said, i can relate) goes!

I may have a date on my hands (in this case, if you can call it a date..yeah, same analytics goin on here). Super nice (and young) guy from a dating-but-not-forcibly-so site. I got a private message saying 'you are fun!'. Aw, this guy is so cute..made me smile all day. We're going to an exhibition; he actually gave me 3 choices in that regard, all 3 interesting. Never did the internet thing before, but i like it so far.

It's weird i always develop some sort of crush on guys i sleep with. Not the 'i have to have you no matter what. i love you' kind, but more in a loose way. I never thought i was that kind, but i should have known better, re-reading my diaries..embarrassing;)! I said 'one off' in my previous post, about friend of friend, but if it happens again i would probably go for it. Again.
stargazer
Congrats on the crushie activity zoya! I look forward to hearing how the get together goes w/your geek.

Reading your uncertainty of "is it a date?" made me think of a recent date I had with someone. He just wanted to meetup for drinks. No problem. Halfway through the night, he said, "So, how would you say our first date is going?" In my head, I went "Huh? Ok. I guess we are officially on a first date." rolleyes.gif

In terms of crushes, I've realized that the type of man I'm attracted to has totally changed as I've gotten older. I think I was too drawn to the Whimpster. Oh ladies, you know the type, just read this article and shudder when you think of all the boys you chased who fit this description. I'm actually more drawn to more traditional manly man types you would usually see serving in the roles of cops, military, etc.

This makes me think of the workout crush. I swear I thought that pheromones were something of a legend. But, this dude is the only guy to give me the "panty drop" syndrome. Now, some more sophisticated types might use the term "come hither" looks, but, I'm talking that I see this dude and my panties literally drop on site. He has this animal magnetism part for me that just makes me want to jump him in the weight room. *sigh* Oh well. I don't run into him as often anymore, but, a sighting of him is quite lovely. wub.gif
anna k
Good to read about fun crushes here!

Stargazer, I understand about the Whimpster. I haven't been with those types, but I get how irritating they could be. And that is pretty hot that the gym guy still makes you feel that way.

Your date sounds like fun, futura! So does yours, zoya! You must have some serious magnetism!

I've gone on some dates lately, but nothing serious. I made a male friend off of OKCupid who is cool to hang out with, and went out on dates with guys who were very talkative, one who I was turned off by (I met him in a horror movie fan club and wasn't into him, but went out with him anyway), the other who was nice but who I wasn't physically attracted to, and after he tried to kiss me on the second date and I felt uncomfortable, he later wrote that we just didn't click. I agreed, and just didn't really care.

I haven't seen my FWB since early July, and sometimes missed him for his personality and the intimacy, but am not really into sex right now. He wrote a text to me last week asking if I was available, but I told him I was busy with friends. I don't know when I'll see him again, it was a fun fling that may or may not pick up again.
futura
The whimpster sounds like a drag. I have dated immature men, but none of them qualifies as a whimpster. Just boys.

Sounds like you're doing well, Anna. And you're not too available, which is also good.

Panty drop..haha!

Last night i ended up chatting with the guy i slept with 2 weeks ago. He's fc's friend, but i'll call him designer dude, for lack a something better i can't think of right now. It went on for a couple of hours. I never even chat with my bff for so long! So i gave him my number, i already had his business card. So it looks like a get together. He lives in another city, which i don't know well, but i would love to go there sometime. We had a back and forth on fb and another social networking site at the same time, so he figured chatting was a more convenient option. Man does he talk. I always kinda liked him, but..well, you know, i hadn't thought of him that way before. I'm in a really good mood today, so that has to count for something, right;)?
futura
To clarify: with 'chatting', i meant chatting online.
anna k
I'm happy that things are so nice and chill with fc's friend, futura.

I had texted my FWB last week if he wanted to see a horror movie with me, and he wrote back immediately, saying he would be out of town but for us to stay in touch. That was fine with me, and I'll let him contact me the next time he wants to hang.
futura
Yesterday i ended up with not one, but two dates. Who 'd 've thunk huh?

Friday night i got a textmessage from designer dude asking if i was stil awake, and if i'd like to get together. I was going on a date the next date, but that was in the daytime. I replied with 'somewhere at the start of september?'. Got a text back 'why not tomorrow night?' I texted back saying that was ok (after wotking things out for myself that it was really ok to visit him, after going to an exhibition with webguy), i'd come to his house, and we'd hang out.

The first date, with webguy was nice. He's nice looking, a bit lanky. It was all very relaxed, though he seemed a bit timid at first. We went to an awesome exhibition, and later, after coffee, we went to a bookstore we both love. He's quite a nerd but i find him very sympathetic.

I then took the train to where designer dude lives. He picked me up from the station and we started up rigth where we left off re: chatting online. He cooked dinner we just chilled at his house, drinking some beers. He has great taste in music, the whole thing was really laidback. And omg, the sex! Jebus H, he's good. He really likes me, i can tell, and that's a bit scary. He's just out of a 5 year relationship, and he's quite bitter about how things ended with his ex, which i totally understand. And i know he's not looking for a new girlfriend.
With fc, i knew things were not going anywhere, and despite the frustrations about his behaviour, i always knew what i wanted and where i stood.
With this guy i really feel i want to do things right, you know? Even if it's just a fling. He's genuine and an all around nice guy. My sister told me to just relax and enjoy. I'm asking myself if things are as clear cut as they were with fc.

period_monster
Okay, I have three new ones. I've only met the one in real life, but he was a compassionate, cute man. We met for a hike yesterday morning. Later this week we're doing dinner and a movie. Tomorrow night attorney guy and I are meeting for dinner. Friday, I'm meeting grad guy for coffee.

It's fun to have options. And I adore seeing those who speak American English sans accent again. smile.gif

Crush on busties!!!
period_monster
Last night with a-game-guy was a ton of fun. He's a bit taller and built. He's the kind of guy who could hold me up and fuck me. It's been a while since I dated someone with this kind of physical prowess. A good kisser and hand holder. We went out to eat, then took a walk and a swing. Finished the nigth going to see Dar Williams with a friend. Cannot wait to see this one again until Sunday. He knows all about my fifties housewife tendencies and adores it. What's that old saying, It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man?

Hope all other crushes are going well!
zoya
god, I wish my crushes were going as well as yours..... I dont' know WTF is the deal, but these guys say they wanna make plans - make a POINT of saying we should do something, then they just fall off the face of the earth. I don't fucking get it. There's nothing wrong with me, seemingly nothing wrong with them, nothing wrong with anything. and then just poof. I'm really at my wits end with this. It's really starting to fuck with me. FUCK.
period_monster
Zoya, that sucks. At this point, if I am interested, I don't end the date without plans for the next one. I am just sick and tired of letting things be dictated to me. I rock, and if they don't recognize it, it's truly their loss.
zoya
see, period - I don't even get as far as the first date. I have no problem meeting guys - I meet them at work (I freelance on a project basis, so that's not a problem), through friends, in classes I take, etc. I really do get out there and meet all sorts of people. Not an issue. And I have good conversation, interest in hanging out on both sides, etc. then nothing. I've even texted or called a couple of them that were particularly shy or seemed a bit geeky and possibly girl-inept that I hadn't heard from after they said we should hang out and actually asked them if they wanted to join me at something laid back of shared interest (like a film fest, or conference or sports or something) and they haven't even responded. And lest you think that this I'm just meeting this type of guy and I need to find a better caliber guy, a few of them have been friends of friends, and are known for being stand up and awesome. A couple of my friends who introduced me have even noted that they never realized their friend was an ass until that point. I think i need to become a nun. ARGH!
period_monster
(((Zoya))) Minor confession--the men I've been dating lately I meet online. They want to meet someone enough they're willing to pay--seems to weed out a lot of the riff raff. Your story reminds me why I almost never set people up. I love my friends, but also know what assholes they can be.

Good luck finding one who isn't intimidated by your brains and beauty.
zoya
... it's like I'm "the cooler!" god.
ofheavenandhell
i haven't posted on here in awhile....i apologize in advance for being long winded unsure.gif

i have a serious crush on this really cute guy!!! and i can't tell if he likes me or not....please help! i'm in my 30s. we made out the night we met at a party and then didn't really see each other until this past year. now we see each other weekly bc of mutual friends and it's always been friendly. i've made out with him this past year 4 times always when we were out at a party and drunk. he's stayed over my place the last 3 times we hooked up. the make outs have been on the lighter side bc i have this thing where i don't sleep with someone who wouldn't date me and i'm not into wasted sex. i'm over that behavior.

the 3 times he's stayed over my place, the next day we got coffee together and hung out a little. the last time he stayed over(last month), we spent the whole next day together lounging around the apartment talking and nursing our hangovers and then walking around the city hanging out until until midnight that night. it was really really nice. i was certain that he at least wanted to be friends. i'm into being friends as he's really interesting and smart. we started chatting on online, texting, talked on the phone a couple times and meeting up with friends. he's the type of guy who is openly against relationships and just wants casual fun. he's really nice though and doesn't try to hurt women. i was really getting comfortable and when he would contact me it would make me feel super good even though it was just friendly.

a week ago, sunday, we hung out with friends at a show and when the show was over, he asked me to go to a bar to get some drinks. we had some drinks and then he said he was tired and was going to head home. i asked him in a sweet way not to go home yet but said he had to go. this week since that night, he hasn't texted, chatted or called. this past weekend, i knew i'd see him at this party. i was really ready to be totally over it and be graceful, friendly but distant. at the party, i noticed him talking across the room but i refused to look in his direction and i stayed with my friends on the far other side.

i think it was about ten minutes until he came over with a smile and a hug, he was pretty drunk too. i smiled back and said hello. another friend came to talk to him. since i was at a new place, i decided to take a walk around. as i was walking to an exit, he came after me. he asked if i was leaving and i said no, i was just looking around. he went into the stairwell to smoke a cigarette so i walked back to my friends. i was really tired so i walked out of the dance area to some chairs to sit down and watch the dwindling crowd. he came over and started talking to me. he never asked me how i was or really seemed interested in what i had to say. just made jokes and chatted with me about how he thought this other girl was cute. i acted friendly and nonchalant about it all until he was distracted by another friend and i made a move to take off. he said he was ready to leave too. since it was really late, we had to wait forever for a taxi. i just sat next to him on a bench while he talked endlessly about nothing. at one point he started to stroke my hair and asked me if i had any food at my place which i figured was his way of trying to get me to ask him over. i didn't ask him. we ended up going our separate ways. since then, it's back to no contact. i tried to chat with him once and his response was that he was busy.

ok, so what's the deal here?? does he like me? does he only want to have sex with me? am i a lost cause to him since i won't do it with him? i see him online all the time and i can't stop thinking about him or wishing he would chat with me or text me. for like 3 weeks it seemed like were cool and friendly, now it seems like he doesn't want anything to do with me. i really want to get over it but it's really difficult to keep my mind off him. i can say that this crush is definitely crushing me. i feel like i'm in high school : (
epinephrine
Wow. I haven't been in here in a very long time. It feels strange.

I have a crush on someone who I spoke to for five minutes and likely will never see again. Lame, I know. But it's put a smile on my face for the past three days. Normally, when I see someone attractive, I get a good look at them and talk to them if I have the opportunity. No big deal. I don't usually get flustered. But I was stocking some shelves at work the other day and I looked up and saw this guy, and just thought "oh, fuck," and had to look away. I totally lost my composure. I kept seeing him while I worked and it kept happening. He wasn't outrageously pretty or anything, just...hot. Really intense, piercing pale blue eyes - the kind of eyes that are always smiling but are overwhelming to look at anyway - nice smile, good build, scruffy beard, nose piercing (which, on a guy, makes me crazy - don't ask me why). A few minutes later he ended up asking me for help with something and we got to talking. I can barely remember the conversation now, I was so flustered, but it was very nice and there was laughing, and he asked about my tattoos, and actually understood when I explained them. I didn't even get his name. He told me he was going for a double arts degree at a university in Regina and was moving the next day. He was just so hot and a total sweetheart and I can't get him out of my head. And a hopeful little part of me thinks he may have liked me, too.
futura
Stupid spam.

I think your experience with this guy is a good sign, epinephrine. Sometimes we are already moving on, even as we don't really know it or see it that way. It's not lame at all! Even if it's just a one time encounter.

ofheavenandhell, maybe you should ask him. What do you want from him? Because you stated he's openly against relationships. Keep us posted!

In two weeks i have a date with cute guy. In the daytime, so i probably have to plan something, as i don't really have an idea of what we should do.

And designer dude keeps sending me text messages in the middle of the night. He's super busy right now, so we can't really set a date, but he texted he would really like to see me again. It makes me giddy. We keep in touch online, yapping away about anything and everything.
Persiflager
*delurks*

Ofheavenandhell, he's acting like he's still in high school! Anyone who's 'openly against relationships' is giving you a nice clear red flag. Be grateful for the warning, and let him go.

I don't think sleeping with him would change anything. He wanted to come over to your place because he was (a) horny, (cool.gif hungry, and © tired.

And I think he likes you a bit, but not as much as you like him.

Sorry for the negativity, but he reminds me of several guys I've known (and many stories in the moving on thread), and I just want to say 'Nooooooooooooooooo! Run away! Save yourself!'.

*relurks, with apologies to ofheavenandhell and good luck wishes for all other crushies*



futura
I find myself agreeing with Persiflager, ofheavenandhell. In my experience guys who say such a thing (about being against relationships) will go back and forth on what they want/need. I know a guy who stated he was not cut out for a relationships, yet he keeps jumping into them. And from your story, he sounds flaky. He went to your house, you hung out, and yet he comments on another girl being cute (though i don't know the exact sitution; sometimes guys are just clueless). You and him want something else entirely.
ofheavenandhell
yeah you guys are right...i'm trying to just be friends. it's difficult, i wish i didn't dig him so much. now he's straight up talking about going on a date with this other girl. i know this has been asked by women time and time again, but why do guys act like they like you when they don't??

whatever, moving on i guess...

thanks for the advice, i appreciate the straight talk.

zoya
QUOTE(ofheavenandhell @ Sep 11 2009, 02:23 PM) *
i know this has been asked by women time and time again, but why do guys act like they like you when they don't??



cause they're fucking stupid. That's the only conclusion I have ever been able to come to.
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