Nov 6 2006, 09:36 AM
ummm sassy. him coming to quickly IS your fault. you are too damn hot! seriously, while it sucks, look at a mans inability to control himself once hes in you as flattering. because really all it means is he thinks you are super hot.
my ex, who i dated for 4 years, still came too quickly for my taste, even after 4 years. he attributed this to the fact that i have always really really turned him on. unfortunately, the feeling wasnt mutual but sassy you go girl! i recommend having him masturbate maybe? thats not a bad idea.
i like making out with girls, but in general, i dont see a hot girl walking down the street and get the same dirty thoughts then if i saw a big burly dude walking down the street.
oh and send Tcrush my way AP
Nov 6 2006, 10:46 AM
what to do about crushes?
one lives in MD - we've gone out about 6 times, have not kissed with tongue. he's not very snuggly, like, if we're watching a movie. and yet, he still calls to make plans.
guy #2 lives in VA (an hour away), has not dated much (read: at all), is very interested...he pays attention to details...this one, i'd have to pretty much 'train' from the beginning - he's so shy!
guy #3 lives in VA, we've gone out 3 times, he does not act like he wants to start dating, but again, keeps asking to make plans. i think we'll ultimately have too many cultural differences to make it work.....
meh. i guess i can't worry about these guys too much - just got a pt job working at a wine store, so am really excited about it!
and, it's ok if the guy comes quickly - that means it should take longer the second time;-)
Nov 6 2006, 12:06 PM
Got two possible crushes on the horizon. One is a total nerd but he is funny and that type of cute where I dont think he knows that hes cute. The other is a total spaz, real hyper and loves people and was raised all over the world so he has a slight, non-descript accent. I dont know either well enough to know if these will develop into crushes but at least its something to look foward to!
Edie, I know what yer saying cuz i do it to and I'm being very careful not to do it anymore: the less you know about someone the more room to build them up in your head! I'm not saying to be pessimistic but realize that he may not be the fantasy ur making him out to be. ...or maybe he is! but its too soon to tell
p 176, sounds like you like the innocent types!
ap, stay away from jcrush! me no like him! Oh, and girl drama is not worth it!
sassy, tell the boy to slow down, or better yet, tell him to stay downtown, if you know what I mean
Nov 6 2006, 02:52 PM
I have such a huge crush on my pottery instructor. I think he's adorable. Even if nothing ever comes of this, at least I actually got to reinact a classic fantasty ripped from Ghost, with the clay and the wheel and Unchained Melody resonating in my brain while he held my hands and we threw a pot together.
Nov 6 2006, 05:55 PM
Really katie? Damn, go me I guess!
I am going to bring up masturbation. I think maybe the reason Sept was such a hot month in the sack, as that we had only been on like 4 dates or something. So, we both took care of ourselves before the actual dates. He seemed to last longer. He said that maybe why he doesn't last long is purely pyschological (fuck I can't spell right now). He knows his body better than I do.
Ran into many a hot college boys today on my lunch break. Yum.
((happy crushie vibes))
Nov 6 2006, 09:15 PM
mmmhmmm, maybe the reason he doesn't hold out longer is 'cause he isn't really trying to. that "you're so hot i can't hold off baby" bullshit just does Not fly with me. i mean, i'm hot yo but still LOTS of fellas have been able to keep it going long enough to make me happy. sure, every once in a while any guy can lose control but it's Only Every Once In a While. a dude who's doing that consistently either has a real problem or is just plain lazy. if it's actually a problem he should see someone instead of expecting his lady to be ok with it. geez.
speak up girl or doom yourself to a relationship full of unsatisfying sex. personally, i'd be much more flattered to have him care enough to do what ever it took to make it good for me too.
that said, so long as he gets me off first, i don't really care if the actual shag is only a couple of minutes. that happened last night in fact, hee hee.
he's off to visit his family far, far away for a couple of months, leaving in less than two weeks. i'm sure the next few days are gonna be stressful and icky with him and i'll be so happy to see him go but damn, i can't flirt or crush on anybody else now. way to lock a girl down eh? oh well, i'm getting fat already anyhow so what the hell. no one wants to see me nakkie 'cept him and maybe the lifedrawing class in town. hmm. alternate employment on the horizon... and people to take my clothes off in front of, ha ha! just kidding.
Nov 7 2006, 02:18 AM
Sassygrrl, I hope that it works out for you.l
On my end of things:
1. age31 is sooooo hot. He walked me home, held my things and my hand, from the club (where he'd been snogging someone else) and then came home with me and we had stupidly unprotected sex, (i know, i know) and he is good. no feelings.. but he makes me giddy. this is going nowhere.
2. workcrush- i've worked with him twice. but he's talkative, lots in common, friendly, hardworker, we're both scorpios, he's hott and tattoo'd, lipringed, prosthetic eye. (what can I say?) and he's giving me free passes to the bar I told him I was going to on my birthday...... this one is hott and i'd keep him (so far as i know)
3. i had a date with Mr. Vanilla last week. He was supposed to call on friday, rescheculed for this thursday. I'm not a fan, but i want him to take me to see a movie (which i cannot afford) so we'll see. He's talkative.
4. I have a makeout buddy. As well. He's a prep who is a rambling, talkative, guy, a bit on the femme-y side, but pretty neat. We have parental issues in common.
So! Yay Team!
Nov 7 2006, 10:00 AM
greenbean - i did not realize when i met these guys how 'innocent' or shy they really are. i don't get it, personally.
guy #2 (lives in VA) wants to start calling me 'girlfriend'.....we've gone out 6 times, and now i am wondering if guy #1 (lives in MD) is thinking i am a girlfriend also?? eeeek.
what should i do? i want a boyfriend, but i am .... apparently, scared.....i am more physically attracted to the guy in MD, but he's the one who mainly talks about work and not much else - so, i have more in common with the guy in VA, which makes him more attractive.....argh! help! (i know, i know - it's awful, i'm dating two guys, and i can't make a decision - please feel free to smack me!)
thanks for your advice, ladies.
Nov 7 2006, 10:25 AM
I had a dream a couple of nights ago about my old crush. We were IMing each other and having fun asking each other questions about our lives. It was so nice and so real that when I woke up it took me a second to realize it was a dream, and it made me feel disappointed.
Nov 7 2006, 11:37 AM
glassk~wow. you've been busy. decisions, decisions.
p_176~nothing wrong with dating a couple of guys at a time. that's the whole point of dating. don't put all of your eggs in one basket. if you're not ready for a relationship, then don't put yourself into one. i understand these guys are "innocent" and shy, but it would be crueler to lead them on. just be honest with yourself and what you want. good luck with whatever you decide.
sassgrrl~yeah, i think you might want to talk with him. some guys need to be schooled on how to please a woman. a man getting off is like turning on a light switch. it's not really that hard. no pun intended. and if you are not pleased, then it's not very satisfying.
Nov 7 2006, 06:31 PM
Ha! You said hard....
Gosh, I'm in a silly mood tonight.
But seriously. I am going to have a talk to him about it. Not sure how to broach the subject, but I'll figure it out. I think he's also concerned about it (apparantly, this was one of the many issues that he and ex fought about it... could explain her cheating??) Anywho.
((happy crushie vibes))
Nov 8 2006, 02:05 PM
Had a good night last night...new crush, I'll call Spazzy, works next door to me and I popped in to say hi. (He's a bartender and I'm a waitress at neighboring restaurants). He grinned and introduced me to his buddy who was hanging at the bar. His buddy, a cute Irishman, says, "you must be the waitress Goldenboy has a crush on,,I can tell cuz as soon as you came in he turned into a total mess" (this is true, he was spilling and dropping everything he came in contact with). "Goldenboy?" I asked, Irishman explained that he calls him that because he looks like such the all-american quarterback (eventhough he was raised in India and Japan). I said, "oh yeah, I see what you mean,..he looks just like the boyfriend in Sugar and Spice." Surprisingly, Irishman was familiar with the movie: "Thats exactly who he is!!" Irishman laughed. So if y'all know the movie, thats Spazzy for you,..smiley, innocent, boyish, hyper, goofy, adorable and sexy. The only thing I'm not sure about is if hes got brains,,but whatever, the boy is kee-YOOt!! Is it so wrong that that wins out from time to time?
...Besides, not really looking for anything serious right now. Told him I'd come by again tomorrow,,see what happens...
Nov 8 2006, 09:18 PM
Greenbean, that is AWESOME. I have no idea who you're talking about, (movie wise or in real life, lol) However, I love the way you related that story. That was money. Congrats. I love that he turns into a silly mess, because can't we all relate to that feeling? And I'm glad it's a good thing for you. Yay!
Nov 9 2006, 01:12 AM
Squee for Greenbean, and squee! for me...had a rough week followed by squee-worthy crushing...
Had a traumatizing week concerning WC...he texted me to tell me he was being admitted to the hospital. Went to visit him, and he was being told by doctors that he would lose his leg if continued smoking, drinking, doing drugs. He was high as a kite on morphine and proclaiming eternal love for me, swearing he was gonna stop all of his vices.
So he was released from the hospital last night, said he would call me today, didn't call, didn't answer my call. Went to the neighborhood bar with my BFF, and WC is sitting there with a drink and a smoke and the girl that I don't like...Gah. BFF and I just got outta there, had our evening elsewhere. Had a few drinks and got up to leave, BFF went to the restroom, and hottie McHotterson, a guy I met and exchanged numbers with more than a year ago, comes up to me and starts talking...wants to get together soon...yeah! I so needed this right now. And while we we were talking, a handsome former co-worker came up and told me I looked great, kissed me, and talked about getting together sometime soon.
WC has been a real heart-ache to me...I am SO happy to have some other dudes on the horizon now. Yea for crushes...I'm on the prowl for a harem.
Nov 9 2006, 05:07 AM
GB, that is so great!! So happy for you!
Told McGeek that I wanted to spend some time apart, to be alone and to hang with my friends. He thought I was breaking up with him! Once I said we weren't, we were cool. Still hanging out with him for Thanksgiving. I don't think it's weird to have some space. And this past weekend was a little odd b/w us.
Got some really weird texts from Starbucks boy and an old college professor last night. I was a little drunk so I didn't answer them.
Nov 9 2006, 01:01 PM
Woo, edna, work it!
Sassy, hope the space helps things!
Dude, if anyone likes movies like Jawbreaker you should rent Sugar and Spice. Its a delightful little 'girl power' comedy,..and the boy is adorable,..think its the same guy who plays Cyclops in x-men.
gotta run..more later!
Nov 10 2006, 04:12 AM
I am so fucked up. Today is five months with HB. I knew this, but I still let things get out of control yesterday.
One of my booty calls called at 5:30am yesterday. NOT. That's too early. I'm not rousing myself from slumber to service you, asshat.
I went down to the bookstore yesterday. Minding my own business. I was squatted down reading a fly leaf when I noticed there was somebody else in the aisle. I turned & saw an ass that was basically sunshine atop two legs. Like a perfect peach. I eyeballed while I could. When he turned, I went back to perusing literature. Suddenly he was standing next to me & addressing me by name. WTF, right? It was a guy I'd had a crush on, like, ten years ago. One of the first guys I met when I moved to the city. He'd filled out & was TWICE as gorgeous as he used to be. 6'2", solid, black hair, & the most perfect set of brown eyes I've ever seen. So dark they were almost black. GORGEOUS. PERFECT. I greeted him, he gave me a *big* hug.
Some backstory. I met this guy when I was nineteen (He was twenty-one.) & was immediately smitten. He's *that* guy. The one that makes you weak in the knees. That makes you feel like you're the only broad in the room. The one that gets you a perfect, but wholly inappropriate birthday gift. I met him thru a guy I went to art school with (Who was a total scumbag. We actually started a support group because he'd molested so many of us, girlfriend or no. SCUMBAG!) & we became friends. He had a girlfriend. I would go over with the scumbag, but eventually he started calling me himself to invite me over. After a while I got weirded by it & called him on it. He didn't like his girlfriend's friends & was trying to get us to be pals because he didn't hate me. That made me feel weird. There was another girl named Destiny (She was really fat. We called her density behind her back.) that hated me because J liked me. He invited me to dinner with them once & she loaded my pasta with about a half bottle of Tabasco. I ate it with nary a whimper. She didn't know who she was fucking with. I like *hot*. He got heavy into drugs & that was so not my scene, so I let them all fall to the wayside. Anyway, we never hooked up because I was smarter than that. Duh. A couple years later I got a phonecall from one our mutual friends. His b-day was coming up & they had no idea what to get him. I'd run into one of them & they'd been reminiscing about me/the fun we'd had. So I was his birthday present. We stayed in contact for a while, but again he had a girlfriend. And was still a fuckwit.
So. We chatted at the bookstore, he suggested coffee. Which was great & turned into drinks. Which turned into dinner & more drinks. Which turned into making out against his car & dry humping until he came in his pants like a teenaged boy.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
Somedays I really hate me.
Edna, girl, I told you WC was a bust. It hurts, but you gotta let him go. The cat's self-destructive & is only gonna bring you down with him. He ain't gonna get any better.
GB, ROCK THAT SHIT! FER REALS!
Sassy, if you gotta step, you gotta step. Space isn't automatically a bad thing. Sometimes we need it. McGeek! Jerk off! You'll last longer!
I'm doing an orphans' Turkey day with friends. I want HB to go with me, but he has socio-political issues with the holiday. I say suck it up & come eat my sweet tater pie & meet my friends. He's reluctant. I know the age diff is some drama for him, but my people are cool. How do I convince hime to come with me? D & L are in their thirties, so are a lot of the other people coming. Suck it up, buttercup!
Nov 10 2006, 01:46 PM
AP~yeah, HB just needs to suck it up. really. at least for you. and he will probably eat your sweet tater pie...just later.
the men just can't keep their hands off the AP, huh? i wish i had that problem. maybe you just need to start running the other way whenever a hawt male specimen comes your way.
congrats to all of the good crushin' which is going on in here.
Nov 10 2006, 05:05 PM
One of my booty calls called at 11:30 last night, knowing damn well I had to work today. FUCK no.
AP, HB really needs to suck it up, and eat some pie... heh. My mind is so in the fucking gutter today. Work was bullshit today b/c of the holiday, and I couldn't get my mind off sex. Where are my old fuck buddies when I need them??? I almost rang one of them at work. I wanted to just take someone in the bathroom stall, like Diane Lane did in that movie....
HOT crush sounds so fuckable. Yum.
I didn't want to tell Mcgeek to just use his hand. But I suspect he's gonna have to for a while...
My parents have invited the two of us to come down for Christmas in SC. But, I think he has some weird issues with Christmas. Maybe they're also socio-political. I'm really not sure. I can only spend two days with the family. I figure if he wants to hang , we can use the dog as an excuse to come back early. Yet, he may use the dog as an excuse to even go. Then again, I don't know if I want to spend a holiday with the family. Although, I know if I say no, I'm gonna get shit for it. Fucking holidays.
Happy crushie vibes to all this weekend!
Nov 11 2006, 05:05 PM
Been hanging out with Spazzy,..boy is he a trip! I get the feeling he either has A.D.D or just done too many drugs, cuz he is just all over the place. Cute as hell though, and incredibly sweet. We talked about going on a date but seeing how one of us is always working each night, we decided we should just hangout after work.
So Thursday I went back to his place after we shared a drink at his bar. When we got there he was like, 'you mind if I take a shower?" I'm like 'no--' but before I could even get the words out he was stripping down infront of me, --but not at all seductively-- it was as if we were two jocks in the locker room,.. he removed his clothing at the same pace you would in private, all the while talking about whatever the hell it was we had been chatting about, as if it were perfectly normal that he was butt naked, shuffling around his room for a towel, in front of a girl he hadnt even kissed yet! Strange mating habits this boy has I tell you,..if that was even his intent! i dont even know, ..he didnt even give me a naughty smile when he asked if I'd like to get in with him..he said it with the same delivery of 'hey, do want some of my orange?'...I was a bit stunned,.. not only by the strangeness of the senario but by this vision of the perfect male body, slim and musclular in all the right places, and his ASS, holy shit, I could smack that thing for days....anyway ..I said, what the hell, if hes this comfortable i might as well be. I followed him to the bathroom, he got in the shower and tested the water as I disrobed (he didnt watch me), and suddenly there I was, free as a bird,,about to be wet and very very close to this beautiful honeychild.
After he scrubbed himslf down and rubbed the soapy water out of his eyes he looked at me, finally acknowledging there was a naked girl in his presence, "wow, you have a beautiful figure, can I wash you?" he said, again, with a less than seductive tone. I nodded, and he dropped to his knees, gliding a soapy puff from my feet to my waist, looking up at me grinning like a little boy who is proud to do a chore for his mama. He soon stood up and and perhaps now bored with the washing (a.d.d I say) brought his body close to mine and dipped a tongue in my mouth as water streamed down our faces.
Yowza. Its not that I never took a shower with a boy,, but as a first encounter?? Hes an odd duck I tell you. More later,, gotta go now...
Nov 11 2006, 05:52 PM
HOT DAMN GB!!! Awesome, girlie!!
Sounds like a lot of fun.
Starbucks boy and I were gonna hang out this weekend. Yet, he had to work. And I have a really bad cold, that I really don't want to give to anyone. We may get a beer next week. He's helped me thru all this work bullshit.
Kal, you around?
Nov 12 2006, 03:47 AM
Long time no type.....but I have been a busy boy of late. Was in Thailand for some time, and you have heard a bit about that, then was home for a week and have just come back from the UAE Desert Challenge! I was pit crew for a team of friends that had all entered the race, waht a fantastic few days in the desert, lots of hard work, beer and fun. Awesome place the Empty Quarter, very rugged, very beautiful and very dangerous!
On the crush side, I have had not much action, there have been some brief efforts, but nothing to do in amongst all the activities. Sometimes that is the best way to recoup. I am starting a new job with a large MN IT group, so crushing has sort of waned....
You all seem to be having some fun *points finger at GB*..."Especially YOU"
My word, this Spazzy dude ain't so Spazy after all, ...or he has NO idea....
I must say, it must be rather awkward to be in that position, but what a fantastic way to break down the barriers of political correctness/manners..!! It is after all the animal instinct that leads us all in the sex game, so hat's off to him, and to you for getting on with the task.....I have to admit, your story-telling gave me a bit of a wood!!!
Sassy, take all the time you need babe, get the thoughts in the right place and take 'stock' of the situation, I am sure it will pan out.....will post more in the sex thread about the prem. ejac thing.....there is more to it than you think, and my male perspective might shed some light on it...
AP, you have to be a GREAT kisser, and a great dry-rooter to make a man lose his swimmers without getting the kit off.....*tips hat* GO GIRL!
Happy crushin' y'all!!
Nov 12 2006, 04:04 AM
I thought you had posted about the 'come quickly' thing in another thread, but here it is, so I will comment here, hope that is in order with forum policy...
Ok, as time goes by, he might improve, but that is not definate, and if that IS the case, then he is probably not as turned on as he used to be, and you don't want that! I have to agree that to some degree, coming to quickly has got a lot to do about how you turn him on, and how HOT you make him, but AP is right saying that it should not be an excuse for it happening all the time. In my last relationship, I went through some really demanding phases where I was so hot, it got to a 10-strokes DONE scenario, certainly not good for my partner, but there are some ways around it. Personally there were occasions where I got soooo hot seeing my GF in the throes of passion, hearing the sounds she mad, the smells, the setting....everything used to make me lose control,.....sometimes used to try slowing things down a bit to avoid the climax, but then she was on the verge and either you carry on, and try to finish her first, or slow down and run the risk of her not coming...very confusing. We all know that women require a lot more foreplay to get onto the 'plane' and this is an area where we got quite good as a couple....I love giving her head, and I used to do it to her and get her off a few times before commencing.....and sometimes by this stage, my body got into the idea that I was not going to finish, so I could last longer....it takes a lot of practice as well as communication between you to work at reaching the high point, but not going over the falls, do not feel scared to discuss it, it is both of you that will benefit. Another thing that worked for me was doggy-style, but I had to be standing up at the end of the bed, I dunno if the body is not used to being standing up, but it seemed to delay everything for me, and my GF was always keen for doggy, because it seemed to be the right 'spot' that was stimulated for some great orgasms, you might wanna try that...
Lastly, I had much more control when she was giving me head, so it was a great practice vehicle for orgasm control. It helped that she loved blowing me too, so we both benefitted...
Whatever you do, make sure to communicate, and try not to put too much pressure on him to hold out, he might start feeling inadequate and that will make things worse, ...work at it...as a couple!
Nov 12 2006, 09:22 AM
Hm, like Kal says, I hope this is not grossly off-topic, but I have a quick commentary about your situation too, Sassy:
Once I was with a guy who, the first time we fooled around, came before we even had his pants off. My first reaction was "oh great, talk about premature ejacluation. This is going to be lackluster. Or, maybe over already." But ohhhhhh was I wrong. It turned out to be some of the best portions I ever had. Three words, sassy, three words: multiple male orgasms. Check that shit out. (Kal, further thoughts?)
Nov 12 2006, 11:05 AM
Men can have multiples? I thought that was some sexual myth. Hmm....
Kal baby, thanks for the male point of view.
Maybe we could try doggy style. I think we've only really tried a few positions. That's awesome about the new job!
I'll cross post in the sex thread.
Seeing Mcgeek today. Yes, I said that I needed my space. However, my flakly housemate is stuck up in a burb of Atlanta (I honestly don't believe all the drama, but I knew she would flake out. I'm beginning to just stop make plans with her), so I called Mcgeek to ask him if he could drive me to view the apartment. Needless to say, he was a little shocked. He's taking me there and maybe to Target.
Off topic, but I have killer cramps. Bleh.
Happy crushie vibes to all....
Nov 12 2006, 08:01 PM
Heh, so yeah, heres the thing about Spazzy..he hasnt tried to have sex with me! I swear he has this strange innocence about him eventho I know he is quite experienced. You would think getting naked infront of someone is a pretty clearcut sexual invitation, but that night after we showered he just wanted to cuddle! After we drifted off to sleep for an hour or so I woke up and shifted around, accidently waking him up. He asked if I was okay, then started kissing me, and all of a sudden we were in a half-asleep make-out session,, and then he just kind of stops and goes back to sleep
I don't know what to think! Maybe hes an exibitionist, or maybe since hes so gawddamn cute he is simply tired of sex and would rather just do other stuff? Hes coming over tonight, wants to make me dinner, we'll see what happens. This boy is seriously hard to read!
Nov 12 2006, 09:32 PM
So....... tried getting on top this time. And, octi is right. I believe the boy had multi orgasms. I was able to control the speed, and it helped. Of course, he blamed it on the condoms. We're going to buy some new ones this weekend.
In other news, saw the new apartment. Really love it. I just need to put down an application fee, and if I can put down the deposit it's mine. It's near everything, public transit, etc. The only things I don't like is they weren't sure if they accepted pets, and a w/d connection. We shall see. I'm hoping my rents can help me out with some money. I don't want to move until Jan though. Plus, I'd have to furnish the place. Yet, I have a friend that could get me discounts at Target and IKEA.
GB, maybe an exhibitionist? Weird. Tell us how it goes. What's he making for dinner?
AP, where ya at?
happy vibes to all...
Nov 13 2006, 08:09 AM
yay sassy!!! yay being on top! yay for portions! I can hardly remember what they are like..
OK, this is a question probably mostly for Kalevra being the man that he is..
(and AP is going to laugh her little ass off at this because she kinda knows this person, but I don't care!)
So I was hanging out with some friends at a bar the other night and we ended up hanging out with a group of other people who were at the bar. We all ended up having a great time, and one of the guys in the other group was pretty much totally hitting on me (but in a really cute way) I gave him my info (email and #) and we started texting instantly - he said in one of his texts that he would like to be more forward but he was too shy (ie: asking me in a roundabout way to come over, I think) but I was home at that point anyway and I fell asleep on the couch before I could text back. So the next day I texted him a couple of times and it was just a little small talk.
well since then I've gotten a couple of emails from him but they were obviously blanket things to a group about random stuff (so obiviously i'm on his email group, but I know it's probably a pretty large one) So I sent him a text that he'd have to answer, just asking what he was up to.
My question is this. If a girl seemed like she was having fun with you but you couldn't quite read her, and she just seemed like she was being friendly via text/email, not giving you much but (IMO) not shutting you down either, would you think she wasn't interested? I mean, it seems to me that if a girl is still emailing and/or texting (not a lot, mind you - just a little friendly blurb here and there) it would show a glimmer of interest..
or maybe he was just buzzed and wanted the hook up. But that seems weird since he texted me a bit the next day. Plus I know some people who sort of know him from around and he doesn't have a rep as an asshole to girls. plus he's definitely older and I got the impression he's not so much a player (but he could be I guess, I dunno)
I can't do anything now, I've kind of drawn a text line in the sand so to speak..
anyway, insight? or did I blow it? or is he just not interested? or do I just give it space? hmmm....
Nov 13 2006, 11:52 AM
Zoya, to answer your question (and certainly this is my view from what you have told in your post) yeah, I think he is interested, but if he says he is a little shy, he might need a little space to move around in....how long since you have heard from him? days? weeks? hours?....he might not have got the text ...patience?
From my personal experience, texting can be a good way of doing things if you are a little shy, but it also comes across as being 'ball-less' too....but I would interpret return messages/mail as a sign of interest...I have found sometimes that although there is some reciprocation from girls, often it is just a friendly courteous reply....with NO other agenda. I would suggest that if you know some of his friends, try to arrange another evening out, and then you can check out the signals again. Men react to the simple things that we all know - eye-contact for a split second longer than is normal, open stance, light touch to the arm etc etc..supposedly sent unconciously, but if you do the conciously, he might pick up a little more
I am of the shy persuasion too, so I rely on those signals before making any further action....
I wouldn't rely on texts though.....invite him out to somewhere that you already going with your friends.....see if he wants to join up!
Here's a question back at you....Would you avoid making your feelings obvious for fear of being embarrased by a rejection?
NO.CRUSHING.FOR.ME at the moment
Sassy....yep, you on top could definately slow things down a bit....as is the same with head, I think that because I am not doing the thrusting, it is more controllable, I can last a lot longer, if I want when getting head, OR I can just hurry it up if I want to...*sometimes she waned to know that she could blow my mond really quickly, so being the kind hearted soul I am, I made her think that she was 'rocking my world'*
'cos I loved her, I wanted her to feel great about what she was doing to me....make mistake, I enjoyed it either way...
As far as multiple orgasms go, I have had a few, but some of them are different to others, sometimes it was a case of being able to clench the PC'c so much that there was orgasm, without the mess
and other times, I could blow my bolt, get stuck into some oral, get turned on again, and then get going again....in each case, the time between got longer, and getting Mr floppy into attention mode became more difficult....at age 18 I could manage maybe 4 orgasms in an hour......now age is creeping in, those four might require an entire afternoon LOL. Still, great way to spend a Saturday afternoon regardless. The last orgasm is no longer a thick fluid, but more like watery.....and can make me a little sore.
Nov 13 2006, 12:58 PM
ugh, I miss being 17 and being with a guy who could come 4 times in an hour. Men hit 22 and its a downward spiral from there. So sad. I am 24, what the hell is going to happen when i am 35 and with guys who are 37 and need viagra to come once in an hour.
i find that with me on top guys come faster. this is an interesting development to hear that for some it makes it take longer. will keep in mind.
Nov 13 2006, 01:14 PM
thanks Kalevra -
well here's the thing. He and his friends live in a different city than me, and I happen to be working on a project that is taking me on long work trips, one of which I am on now. so there is no inviting him out for a long time. emailing or texting is it. The friends I have who know him aren't close friends of his, they know him more through just the group of friends.
Now that you say it, I could see how my reciprocations could be taken as a courteous reply with no other agenda. When we were out that night, me being kind of shy myself, I didn't really know what I thought. I thought he was nice and attentive and funny but I am not the girl to just jump right in. I think he was probably taking a bit of a chance and I was being reserved. Being shy, I really had to step back a couple of days to realize that I wouldn't mind seeing what's up. So that's admittedly why my replies were more friendly than anything that night and day after.
it's been a day since I've heard from him but the thing is, I know he's receiving, because he replied to something that was more work related right away.
would I avoid making my interest obvious? no. but I would be more comfortable doing exactly what you suggested, asking him out for a drink when I'm done with this part of the project and can actually do something, which won't be for awhile. I'd feel less weird potentially making an ass out of myself that way.
I dunno if I'd call this a crush, but a spark of interest I suppose.
Nov 13 2006, 01:34 PM
Zoya, no problem....I have to say though, that guys can start becoming shy as a result of constant rejection,....it takes a little courage to go up to a complete stranger and strike up a conversation, especially if it is someone that you are completely interested in, the saying 'going weak at the knees' makes it all the more difficult....iiif y-y-y-ou..know wh-wh-what I mmmmean
Make it known you are interested, as a guy there is nothing nicer than getting the signals that you advances are being met favourably *hint* a nice smile is a GREAT way of letting someone know your feelings. Let it be a little crush, you have nothing to lose, as long as he is honest, polite and not pushy about anything.
Katie, just a little hint here....I am 35, and given the right circumstances, 3 in an hour is still possible for me, and thats without Viagra.....and anyways, should you care that he is taking so long, when you could be getting the ride of your life...
We tried Viagra a few times (cialis too) just to see what the fuss is about, and sometimes it was a noticeable difference, other times not. Sex is a fun little game as long as it is fun for both.....and us oldies have still got a little *spunk* in us yet..LOL...lookit the bright side of it....when you are 35, you can go out and get yourself a little toy-boy to play with...hee hee
Nov 13 2006, 02:07 PM
thanks, Kalevra.... so how do I make it known if there is no chance of in person contact any time in the near future.. I really don't want to text or email any more with no reply from him cause I feel stalkery. Just let it lie and then when I'm back just drop an invite and figure if it's meant to be, it's meant to be?
bleh. I hate this stuff. I suck at it.
ETA - god I am so jealous that someone is getting portions... hell I can't even get off the ground with being interested..
oh, and PS sassy, an old BF of mine could completely have multiples. god that guy could go on and on. which was great sometimes, but tired me out quite often! So yeah, it's completely possible.
Nov 13 2006, 04:08 PM
I need some crushie advice...
Long story short- I had been seeing this guy, A, for about 6 weeks. One weekend, he asked me what my 'intentions' were, and then he met all my friends, and told me that he really liked me, but I seemed distant. Next weekend, he told me that he thought he was ready for a serious relationship, but he wasn't (his very serious longterm relationship ended a few months ago- I think they were engaged) which was okay with me because while I'm desperately in like with this guy, I'm in no screaming hurry. Anyway. He tells me this, I say nothing more than "okay", and I end up going back to his house where we had sex for the first time. Two weeks pass, I get one email from him and don't see him, which was strange, and I had pretty much written it off completely.
I had his favourite book, so I called him last week to let him know that I wanted to give it back, and he was so!happy!to!hear!from!me!, told me he had been out of town for a 'family emergency', and we talked for 3 hours. He came over on Friday night, we went to the pub, we watched a movie, things were going great- and then when he left, he didn't kiss me. I stood there, dumbfounded- and called him back in the house and kissed him. What gives? My best guy friend thinks that he probably believes I'm pissed off at him...but that doesn't really make sense to me. Any thoughts?
Nov 14 2006, 10:28 AM
This is RICH. Okay. Does anybody remember Tall Guy? Seemed really great, blew sunshine up my panties, was smokin' hot, made me freak out? Somebody on Bust posted about Dontdatehimgirl.com, which I had never heard of. I was bored as hell & decided to check it out. Who did I find in a short search of my local area? Tall Guy! There were several testimonials from women who actually dated him making his MO clear. We only phoned/emailed after our chance encounter before he bailed. Thank god we never actually went out because I'd have eaten the motherfucker live, whole, kicking & screaming had he tried to play his game with me. Bullet dodged, yo.
Had impossibly good sex with HB over the weekend. Was feeling shitty & not pretty, but damn. On the age/premature thing? The man is fifty & wears. My. Ass. Out. I feel good after, but also like I went ten rounds with Ali.
Emtee, I got nothing. I try not to overthink these things.
Where my Sixel at?
Zoya! Teehee, you naughty minx! He's a supastah! And just for the record my ass is HUGE.
GB, the boy sounds fun, don't try to "read" him. Just HAVE FUN. Make no big investments. Enjoy your popcorn while you can! Light, tasty, salty, sweety good fun!
Kal, I love to kiss. Kissing rules! He just grabbed me by the hips & pressed me against his car & off we went. The man is thirty-five for fucks sake. I may not have gotten off myself, but I got the satisfaction of knowing that I got him off with very little effort on my part. A little bump & grind never hurt anybody.
Oh, & sidenote: I was gonna text HWSBFKasJ & found a new number in my cell. Dryhump put his number in my phone while I was in the loo. He's called three times. I'm not biting.
As far as HWSBFKasJ goes: I can't kick the habit. But I'm not invested. I know on which side my bread is buttered. We hung out over the weekend & had a good time. He proclaimed something to be our song & I made a snide comment. I ignored the receptacle.
Does anybody know how Mouse's questionaire ploy went over?
Nov 14 2006, 11:29 AM
Oh my god that is crazy. At my old job, the CEO for FIRED by the president bc he had an extremely detail oriented post put up about him on dontdatehimgirl.com. detail oriented as in he likes asian girls and wants to be humilliated by his sex partner in bed. this guy was carrying on like 3 affairs while being married. mind you i think the girl was a little insane herself, but nevertheless it got him canned bc she mentioned where he worked on top of everything else.
these websites aare good for something. if it was just one testimonial i wouldnt really believe it bc women can be totally insanne batshit crazy but several-sounds like you came out on top. actually no, with you AP the guy is lucky cause you would have tore him a new A-hole.
maybe i am sleeping with the wrong people in terms of old and not being able to get it up. actually, i am only sleeping with one person and hes almost 28 and my ex that i dated for 4 years (ap be gentle). but i still have noticed a decline since the menfolk were 17 or so. oh well, really it must depend on the guy. you know what the problem is Kal? i LIKE older men hee hee!!! 35, thats not old to me age wise, just i hate hearing that "women have the best sex at 35 and men peak at 18" etc etc. When I was 18 i definitly slept with a 40 year old who was smokin hot. of course if this was over in the debra lefave thread people would call him a pedophile but dammit he was hot!
yeah has anyone heard about mouse?
is it ok to hang out in here even if you have no crushes, just cause i like you guys;)?
emtee-thats a hard one, in fact i am not sure any of us can answer it. maybe just see how it all pans out, or just forget him. games are annoying a pain in the ass.
Nov 14 2006, 08:39 PM
yeah I wanna know what happened with mouse, also!
AP, I stand corrected. your HUGE ass (much more interesting than a little ass anyway) and well, I've gotten a couple more emails, but no answers to my "what are you up to" direct questions. these emails seem to me to be blanket emails to people on his blind copied friends email list. So I don't really wanna reply cause I feel like a dork. so I'm not gonna. at least not right away, anyway.
emtee - fuck if I know what to think about that. uh, guys are dorks? have you talked to him since? how was it?
Kissing is fun! of course, it's been quite awhile since i have partaken (pretty much as long as it's been since I've had portions which is quite some time) but I do love me some kissin'.
god, now I wanna go to dontdatehimgirl.com. In fact, I am going to go there and see what all the hubbub is about!
Nov 15 2006, 05:51 PM
yeah, NOTHING happened.
i dropped it in his tip jar on my way out the door and he smiled and went "ooh!" but my mailbox has been empty since two saturdays ago. i'm effing pissed.
Nov 15 2006, 09:51 PM
Oh, that SUCKS! I'd be pissed, too if I'd have taken all that time & effort & wasted a nifty postcard. He could at least not be an assclown & respond.
Nov 16 2006, 12:12 AM
sorry you haven't heard anything mouse.
Nov 16 2006, 12:06 PM
i mean, i don't care if he's not interested--especially if he's going to be enough of an asshat to not even bother to reply--but it's just common courtesy to answer the frickin question.
i'd go there and confront him, but it's not even worth it.
Nov 16 2006, 12:09 PM
Have you been in there to see him since you dropped it off? Maybe he's waiting to answer it in person...
Nov 16 2006, 12:19 PM
Hey, that's a possibilty. I don't know what all it said, but I'm assuming you stuck an email addy or something in there. You've come this far already, maybe go in at the end of his shift, have a cuppa & maybe see what's up. If he can't look you in the eye or at least say, "That was cute of you," fuck 'im.
You can be the chick you wanna be with or without him.
Nov 16 2006, 12:26 PM
nah, i even put a stamp on it and wrote "please return by mail. postage has been provided".
honestly, i'm really suprised. he does not at all seem like the kind of guy who would just blank on this. i guess i totally pegged him wrong.
Nov 16 2006, 01:48 PM
Spazzy is no longer a crush...things went from good to bad to ugly in the course of a week! No matter, I had a weird feeling about him from the get-go.
Can't explain now but i'll be back soon.
Sorry about the dude, mouse. You should go in and see how he reacts..maybe his response got lost in the mail?
Nov 16 2006, 03:00 PM
Oh, see now, Mouse, that explains everything. He's not a romantic. Unless he's extremely lazy, nothing got "lost in the mail." The "return by mail, postage paid" implies fussiness, overt formality. Very Jane Austen. While admirable, he didn't appreciate your efforts at being cheeky, clever. Even if he did notice it, guys are inherently lazy. To respond he'd have to have done the tiniest little bit of work. Work = complicated. If he were into you, he'd have responded. You did it your way, though. *Cue Frank Sinatra or the Sex Pistols.* Best to learn from it, forget about it, & move on.
Can't wait to hear the Spazzy dirt!
Nov 16 2006, 04:03 PM
Umm....Mouse? Would you care to send me the questionnaire? I am interested to see what my reaction/answers would be.....just curious is all
GB, interesting development...*popcorn at hand*
Nov 16 2006, 04:47 PM
Yeah, mouse, I'd love to read your questionnaire, too! I think it's a cute idea (almost Amelie-esque). Care to post it?
BTW- His loss, girl.
Nov 16 2006, 05:42 PM
I'm with everyone else mouse... I would love to read it! And totally his loss.
GB, I want to hear the spazzy dirt.
Starbucks boy and I have had a falling out. It makes me really sad, because I thought we were really good friends. I just think he can't handle me dating McGeek. He acts (SB) as if we're married (Mcgeek and I). We're not. For once in my dating life, I have a guy who really doesn't care who I hang out with. I think that's awesome. I just don't understand why SB can't get that. Unless, he just wants to screw me. Which could be the case. He kept saying that he didn't want to see me b/c it was "too complicated." Yet, he knew me before I even met Mcgeek. Hell, I was at that Starbucks at least 3 times a week getting my free mocha for about 3 months. He had many chances to ask me out....but he never did.
I love to kiss. One of the best dates I had with McGeek early on, was just kissing on his futon like honry(yeah I know I spelled it wrong...) teenagers. It was so much fun!!
Nov 16 2006, 10:08 PM