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Aithinne
Hey, he's a lot better than the last guy who posted on this forum. *shudders*. I especially liked this part:

"I got picked on in high school... But when I was dating a girl, that's one thing that the other guys congratulated me on, and it was one of the times I felt the most included. And you guessed it -- she had small breasts. (Small, beautiful breasts!) The other guys made fun of me for just about everything in high school, but never once for dating a girl with small breasts. It didn't matter a bit to the guys, even in high school."
auralpoison
Yeah, he's a MWET (Men Who Explain Things) telling us stuff we pretty much already know, but a *polite* MWET. He lacks the smug, high-toned asshole-ry of a cowardly PLoverRay or a Lord of I Know Everything, You Silly Little Wimmins Funk.

That being said, I really really really wish guys would just stay the fuck out of the breast threads. They basically repeat everything every guy that's ever come in here has ever said (Which they don't understand because they are generally too lazy to read beyond the first page.) just with different levels of tedium.

We know men like breasts & that it's not really that big of a deal, but that doesn't mean we aren't still plagued with insecurity. And men are no better when it comes to body issues: How many times is ED thrown in our faces a day, ladies? Viagra, Cialis, Levitra, Enzyte, PosTVac, etc. We aren't the only ones buying into the bigger is better myth.
Persiflager
*delurks*

Kudos for introducing himself in the newbies thread first.

*relurks*
geoff
auralpoison,
I definitely tried to make it clear that I wasn't re-stating things because of any "nothing a woman says is true unless a man validates it" attitude, but simply because it was a first-person view. I apologize if it sounded patronizing to anyone; it certainly wasn't the intent.

For that matter, I'm sorry for offending or angering anyone by posting in the first place.

I admit I didn't read all 95 (!) pages of this thread before posting, but I did read the latest few pages and the first few, and I absolutely looked carefully through the top-level forum threads for any introductory rules or "things a newbie should know" topics. That's usually enough to establish any local etiquette in a forum. You might want to post some sort of sticky topic where a newbie would find it to say, "Men, these are personal topics; please respect that and don't post here."

Anyway, I'm not a troll, so if you don't want me here, I'll leave.
girl_logic
*delurks*
I don't even post in this thread as much as I read here, but every time a man posts here, I read it and I feel like he's saying everything while looking directly at my chest. It's such a weird feeling.
girl_logic
QUOTE(oceangirl @ May 26 2009, 02:37 AM) *
I second the comments about playing up different parts of your body. If you're self-conscious about your breasts play up your legs or something. I used to always be self-conscious about my legs because I'm kind of knock kneed but my sister-in-law tells me I have fantastic legs so I bought shorty shorts this summer for the first time ever. I'm psyched to wear them! It's fun to try out new clothing styles.


I'm also slightly knock-kneed (a curve inward at the knee) with killer gams. Knock em dead! I'm willing to bet it appears more as shapeliness than knock-kneedness.
KeraBear
QUOTE(karategrrl @ May 26 2009, 03:06 PM) *
Kera Bear, I second what everyone said, and YES, it does get better as you get older. Actually, TONS of things get better, or at least I can speak for myself--body image, feeling empowered, feeling independent, sex got better, etc.

I was never athletic in high school but I started in my 20s and I loved the way it made me appreciate my bod for the marvelous instrument it is. I was into karate for a long time (surprise, surprise, ha!) and I actually loved the way my streamlined boobage was an asset in the dojo. Are you on any teams or can you join a club or after-school thing? I bet with the right girls around you--ones who share that sporty mindset rather than those who want to be catty be-otches--you might enjoy your time at school a lot more. Maybe track, gymnastics, cheerleading--anything where speed and agility are favored--might suit you well. I may be totally off, and please tell me if I am, but it's just a thought. Even taking waks or hikes by yourself just to clear your mind and do some postive self-talk might help you feel better and balance all that negative bullshit.

And not to sound corny, but I appreciate your reaching out to the board! Sharing some wisdom and supporting a younger "smallie" makes me feel good!


Yeah, to answer your question, I am on the track team. I do get some playful teasing there but it is mild. Probably because there are gals there who wish they had smaller breasts. :-) Heh...

Thanks to all who have helped me out so far. Yes, even Geoff. The "male perspective" was helpful anyways. He seemed okay. This board helps me stay grounded and I appreciate that very much.
auralpoison
QUOTE(geoff @ May 27 2009, 06:04 AM) *
auralpoison,
I definitely tried to make it clear that I wasn't re-stating things because of any "nothing a woman says is true unless a man validates it" attitude, but simply because it was a first-person view. I apologize if it sounded patronizing to anyone; it certainly wasn't the intent.


Geoff, I know you were not trying to offend or be malicious. I do appreciate the fact that you did take the time to introduce yourself & that you didn't come across as a total dick. I do. Thanks! BUT. After I read your newbies intro I made a *leetle* wager with myself, "If Geoff's first post is in one of the breast/sex threads & he plays the same tunes as those who came before him, I will give myself a bright & shiny nickel." Clearly, I am flipping said nickel like Edward G. Robinson right now.

Look, it's like this: 98.4% of men who start posting here immediately go into the breast threads or the sex threads. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. They can't turn the cock off for a half an hour to peruse the forums for something non-physical/sexual they might be interested in talking about. They don't post about the latest book they read, they don't post any good vegan recipes, they don't post about third wave feminism, they don't post about what they think of California upholding Prop 8, they don't post about volunteer work, they don't post angst about their jobs, they don't post angst about their familes, etc. Oh, no, they boldly offer us the male persepective on our bits because that's the *most common sense* place to start addressing women that by & large align themselves with the dreaded "F word". "Tits. They're hella feminist! Let's talk about yours!"

Then, if their schtick isn't vulgar, crass or purely retarded, it's the nice/mega-cheesy guy routine: All breasts are great, guys love 'em big or small, they individually prefer smaller & are proud of it, they share an anecdote wherein they felt they were being judged by their appearance & how they dealt with it, again all breasts are great, & we should love our bodies, ourselves.

And do our kegels. wink.gif Shout out to SmooveB!

But it often comes back to the same thing with many men, doesn't it? That breast are for adornment, for nabbing Mr. Right, female completion through male validation. They frequently don't know about/consider the variety of things that vex us about our mammaries, like buying a swimsuit, inverted nipples, menstrual breast aches, marked unevenness, fibroids, breast feeding, jogger's nipples, etc. Men don't empathize with the OTHER issues of having breasts because they don't have them, hence they can only expound about what they actually know: they are fun to look at & play with & they're happy as clams when they get to.

As far as rules/stickies go, Geoff, . . . Common Sense. I realize this is the intarwebs & all, but you basically introduced yourself to a party full of FEMINIST women, proceeded to step into a conversation about something fairly personal, & offered your not too terribly useful insight. It wasn't offensive, just inappropriate. You didn't give a host a hug, you didn't stop by the kitchen, you didn't grab a drink, you had no idle chitchat about the latest summer blockbuster, you didn't wait to see if it was gonna be that kind of party before you stuck your dick in the mashed potatoes.

I personally lurked around here for a LONG time to get the feel of the place & even then I started slowly with Media Whores before branching out into all forums. Only after a grace period did I unleash the unholy hell that is AP upon Busties & by then? It was too late for them all.

I see no reason for you to leave, Geoff. Watch, listen, join in where it's appropriate. You could probably fit in just fine with a little bit of forethought & time. You might want to remember your audience here: LOTS of grown damned women (And a few men!) that don't suffer fools lightly. Assclowns? Get ridden out on a rail by angry Lounge villagers with pitchforks & torches.
Persiflager
*delurks again....not being a very good lurker*

Hey KeraBear! I'm glad you've found the responses helpful. I lurk in this thread a lot because it's such a joyous, body-positive place.

Hi Geoff! I agree with AP - I didn't find any of what you said offensive, it was just a little bit inappropriate to leap straight in (given that you are addressing a 16-year-old girl on the subject of her breasts). Also, the fantastic ladies who post in this thread generally celebrate small-booby hotness without dissing those of us who are more substantially built.

It would make us very happy if you would stick around and join in the chat on some of the threads that don't relate to breasts or sex. There are men who post happily in this forum and are welcomed, and they are pretty awesome.

ETA: If you're not sure what threads to head for, ask in the community forum or newbies thread.

*relurks*
pollystyrene
QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 27 2009, 09:25 AM) *
...you didn't wait to see if it was gonna be that kind of party before you stuck your dick in the mashed potatoes.


Aural, it's lines like this that make me love you! wub.gif


girl_logic
yeah, auralpoison articulated it, it just feels strange when men zero in on this thread right off the bat.
KeraBear
QUOTE(Persiflager @ May 27 2009, 10:47 AM) *
*delurks again....not being a very good lurker*

Hey KeraBear! I'm glad you've found the responses helpful. I lurk in this thread a lot because it's such a joyous, body-positive place.


Isn't it though?!?

QUOTE(Persiflager @ May 27 2009, 10:47 AM) *
Hi Geoff! I agree with AP - I didn't find any of what you said offensive, it was just a little bit inappropriate to leap straight in (given that you are addressing a 16-year-old girl on the subject of her breasts). Also, the fantastic ladies who post in this thread generally celebrate small-booby hotness without dissing those of us who are more substantially built.

It would make us very happy if you would stick around and join in the chat on some of the threads that don't relate to breasts or sex. There are men who post happily in this forum and are welcomed, and they are pretty awesome.

ETA: If you're not sure what threads to head for, ask in the community forum or newbies thread.

*relurks*


Yeah, good point. GIven that he only had three posts AND was chatting up a 16 year old about her breasts IS a bit on the creeepy side... unsure.gif
auralpoison
QUOTE(girl_logic @ May 27 2009, 11:45 AM) *
. . . it just feels strange when men zero in on this thread right off the bat.


Y'know what? I'm so used to it I don't even blink anymore. I just roll my eyes, tut, & start sharpening the verbal ginsu.

They're men: Sex & genitals are pretty much ALWAYS pretty close to their mental surface, so naturally they migrate to the threads that might offer something to fap to. Which tells me that the ones that roll up in here for the most part don't care about anything else we have to say or what we think. They just want . . . wait for it . . . TITillation. Ba-dum-dum!

I always wonder: How do they find the Lounge? Sure, you type the word "bust" into google & we're your first hit, but I'd imagine the main page where it talks about it being a FEMINIST rag for outspoken broads would be enough of a clue to not come up in here & act all a-fool. Common sense, right? Apply some IRL rules? Like, maybe they should check a community out before diving in head first so they don't wind up with a crack in their skull & a pointy toed boot in their ass (This is why I never "auditioned" for Jezebel. I'd be disemvoweld in a heartbeat!).

I admit it I do enjoy the odd fuckwit, though . . . us ripping PLover a new asshatch was fucking fun. I was still picking pieces of that weak-ass motherfucker out of my teeth two days after he punked & ran away with his cock/bawls all crawled up into his body cavity for protection.
karategrrl
QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 27 2009, 02:25 PM) *
Then, if their schtick isn't vulgar, crass or purely retarded, it's the nice/mega-cheesy guy routine: All breasts are great, guys love 'em big or small, they individually prefer smaller & are proud of it, they share an anecdote wherein they felt they were being judged by their appearance & how they dealt with it, again all breasts are great, & we should love our bodies, ourselves.

And do our kegels. wink.gif Shout out to SmooveB!

But it often comes back to the same thing with many men, doesn't it? That breast are for adornment, for nabbing Mr. Right, female completion through male validation. They frequently don't know about/consider the variety of things that vex us about our mammaries, like buying a swimsuit, inverted nipples, menstrual breast aches, marked unevenness, fibroids, breast feeding, jogger's nipples, etc. Men don't empathize with the OTHER issues of having breasts because they don't have them, hence they can only expound about what they actually know: they are fun to look at & play with & they're happy as clams when they get to.


laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif laugh.gif
Aurol, you just turned my (otherwise SHIT) day totally around.

I felt our new poster boy's attitude was hella better than SmooveB and such, but yes...heard it all before... <<Yawn.>>
karategrrl
QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 27 2009, 06:16 PM) *
I admit it I do enjoy the odd fuckwit, though . . . us ripping PLover a new asshatch was fucking fun. I was still picking pieces of that weak-ass motherfucker out of my teeth two days after he punked & ran away with his cock/bawls all crawled up into his body cavity for protection.

OMH, I am CRYING with laughter over here.....Bwahahahaha!

...and just a sick thought...he couldn't have gotten the cock/balls so far up if not for great, strong Kegels!
auralpoison
Always glad to be of service! Remeber to tip your server, & if you're gonna drive don't drink & if you're gonna drink don't drive.

And forgot to add: Polly = wub.gif
geoff
QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 27 2009, 09:25 AM) *
As far as rules/stickies go, Geoff, . . . Common Sense. I realize this is the intarwebs & all, but you basically introduced yourself to a party full of FEMINIST women, proceeded to step into a conversation about something fairly personal, & offered your not too terribly useful insight.

I see no reason for you to leave, Geoff. Watch, listen, join in where it's appropriate. You could probably fit in just fine with a little bit of forethought & time.

QUOTE(Persiflager @ May 27 2009, 09:47 AM) *
Hi Geoff! I agree with AP - I didn't find any of what you said offensive, it was just a little bit inappropriate to leap straight in (given that you are addressing a 16-year-old girl on the subject of her breasts).

It would make us very happy if you would stick around and join in the chat on some of the threads that don't relate to breasts or sex. There are men who post happily in this forum and are welcomed, and they are pretty awesome

Sorry, I wasn't trying to be creepy. I have some friends who have kids getting into that age range, and between that and the recent suicides in the news, it's just been reminding me what a special kind of hell all the teasing and bullying in high school can be. That's how I found this discussion - I read a blog on that topic that linked to this thread.

You're right; this forum is deeper than most, so I should've started with some of the less intimate topics. I'll try that.
auralpoison
Well, there we go then. You see where we are coming from. Thank you, Geoff.

/derail

See, we do have a bullying thread, I considered bringing it back to the fore if Kera wanted to talk about what was going on with these girls. I think F/F bullying is a lot different than m/m bullying. Guys pull pranks & do shitty things to each other, yeah. Girls will try to systematically tear other girls down to absolutely nothing, set them on fire, & piss on their ashes before doing a jig atop them.
KeraBear
QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 27 2009, 06:45 PM) *
Well, there we go then. You see where we are coming from. Thank you, Geoff.

/derail

See, we do have a bullying thread, I considered bringing it back to the fore if Kera wanted to talk about what was going on with these girls. I think F/F bullying is a lot different than m/m bullying. Guys pull pranks & do shitty things to each other, yeah. Girls will try to systematically tear other girls down to absolutely nothing, set them on fire, & piss on their ashes before doing a jig atop them.


Heh... a bit extreme but yeah, that sounds about right. What a sad, sad high school world I live in. sad.gif Assuming that sorta crap actually stops after high school... thanks for thinking of me!
pollystyrene
There's a line from Seinfeld where Jerry's talking about fights in high school or something and Elaine says that girls just tease each other until someone gets an eating disorder.

Sad but true.
auralpoison
QUOTE(geoff @ May 27 2009, 06:26 PM) *
. . . between that and the recent suicides in the news, it's just been reminding me what a special kind of hell all the teasing and bullying in high school can be. That's how I found this discussion - I read a blog on that topic that linked to this thread.


Wait a minute. I can't believe I missed this last eve, now my giney senses are tingling & not in a good way.

What the fuck kind of blog on bullying linked to our thread related to small breasts? There are tonnes of links about girls & boys that get picked on, but somehow Geoff found the one teen bullying link to being small breasted in the Lounge? It's not like small breast bullying has come up enough here that it'd be high in any search engine. Especially when we have a thread *dedicated* to bullying & there are lots of other bullying specific sites that would have come up first.

And while he did offer encouraging advice to our youth, he still felt the need to sort of cancel it out by expressing his breast preferences & saying he was down with the "special boobie handshakes". Um, special boobie handshakes are between girls only.

Something is smelling rotten in the Lounge . . . or else I'm making a paranoid mountain out of a lovely, innocent molehill.
geoff
QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 28 2009, 02:58 PM) *
What the fuck kind of blog on bullying linked to our thread related to small breasts? There are tonnes of links about girls & boys that get picked on, but somehow Geoff found the one teen bullying link to being small breasted in the Lounge? It's not like small breast bullying has come up enough here that it'd be high in any search engine. Especially when we have a thread *dedicated* to bullying & there are lots of other bullying specific sites that would have come up first.

I don't think the entire blog was on bullying, just that post. I'm not completely sure because I didn't read every entry in their blog, either. I was just reading news, and one article linked to a blog or two, and those linked to another blog or two. I didn't keep track of the links I was following, and I can't find them again now. I have absolutely no idea how they found this forum and thread, or why they linked to this thread, or why they didn't link to the bullying thread, but that's what they did. The link could've even been in a random person's comment after a news article or blog entry, but I usually don't read many of those. I simply don't remember.

The article on bullying that I did save a link to was on CNN, but the story was from Oprah, and it had several good links to other articles on bullying (all on her site) that I also read yesterday. I may post them in the bullying thread. But, of course, those don't have any links to outside forums.

QUOTE(auralpoison @ May 28 2009, 02:58 PM) *
And while he did offer encouraging advice to our youth, he still felt the need to sort of cancel it out by expressing his breast preferences & saying he was down with the "special boobie handshakes". Um, special boobie handshakes are between girls only.

Well, I said that I wasn't sure what they were, but that they sounded nice from the description I read. This is the description I read. The post and its quote said, "for all those lurking tiny tittie lovers," and "smallie-loving men," which I thought described me - and I still do. Except for the lurking part.

When I was reading this thread, it sounded like a place where everyone was very open, honest, and supporting, and I liked that. Since then, we've established that it's a more tightly-knit group than in most forums, and it takes awhile before you know people here well enough to join those threads or get that personal, and I apologized for overstepping my bounds.

I'm not a predator or even a creep, though I realize there's no way to prove that here except over time, and there's no conspiracy that I know of on the Interwebs to subvert this group. It was simple chance that I stumbled onto the thread, and then my mistake for barging in too quickly. Again, I'm sorry for that.
Aithinne
Wow, we have a dry spell for weeks and now it's hot!

I know we automatically cringe when we see men post on here and it is a place more for women, but based on what geoff has written so far, I'm willing to cut him a little slack. To me, he sounds genuine and has, if not the right attitude, then certainly an attitude well on the correct path for this board.

We're talking about how men don't understand all the other issues associated with breasts, but this seems like a great place to learn.
angie_21
Yikes, I'm away for 2 days and I'm 2 pages behind! I just read over this post and I don't know what on earth I'm getting at here, but posting it anyways. I kinda feel like Geoff got pounced on just for trying to help out, but I also agree with AP on a lot of things.

Hey Goeff, I want you to know that I personally was not at all offended by anything you had to say, or the fact that you said it. I don't give a rats fat butt about who talks to me about my breasts, or what they say, or what their reasons are - all I care about is that people are having an open, honest discussion, and are not out to try and hurt eachother. And considering what horrible things have been written by men on feminist websites I have been to in the past, I really liked what you had to say. However, I'm really confident and comfortable with myself, and a lot of girls here aren't that comfortable - that's why they're here to get support from other women, and that's why a lot of men writing on this thread would not be very helpful.

BUT - I hate the idea that men and women shouldn't be able to talk about their bodies openly just because some men are abusive & objectifying of women's bodies. That only keeps up the myth about women's bodies being mysterious and different, when in reality we sweat, fart and sh*t just like men, and are generally equally disgusting. I spend most of my time in the "Bodies" forum becuase it's interesting and important to me. So why should men be excluded if they want to have a nice, respectful conversation? We already spend a lot of our time in this thread discussing what men do or don't like about our breasts. I mean, basically this whole thread is about "men like small boobs, too!" So what exactly is wrong with a man saying the same thing?

I guess I'm guilty of thinking it's that kind of party, too. Where is that bowl of mashed potatoes?

That all being said, I really really do understand the concept of "women's spaces" where we can have open, honest discussions without the fear of being discriminated against for what we're saying. It's really, really important, and that's why everyone kind of pounced on you Geoff. Because if you are actually in here to get your jollies from reading about boobies, that really sucks. I just think it's sad that sometimes women have an automatic reaction that men are always out to get them, when my personal life experiences have generally shown the opposite to be true. I think that sometimes there's a *bit* of reverse sexism here. I mean, we spent like 5 pages theorizing about why men go to strip clubs, and saying some pretty mean things about men in the process. I love it most of the time, because I've also run into a lot of asshole men out there and this is a great, supportive place to be able to blow off some steam about it. So Geoff, you have to understand that it's gonna happen here, and see if you're thick-skinned enough to handle it.

Allison-Shine
Nice to see this thread moving again. I am always looking for new advice and input. I don't usually seek it from a guy but if it is sensible sometimes I will consider.
Allison-Shine
QUOTE(KeraBear @ May 23 2009, 10:39 AM) *
Hey gals. I am looking for some sage words of wisdom. Can any of you offer up any advice on going through high school with tiny breasts? I get teased A LOT because of it. I am 16 years old and don't even fit into a AA cup. They seem like they are in that quasi-"almost boob" stage of an 11-year-old. I am also short, skinny, with a boyish figure. Every time i seem to get to the point where I am getting close to loving my body for what it is, somebody seems to tear me down about it. Interestingly enough, it's mostly other GIRLS and not the guys. Why do you suppose that is?

Did you get teased? What are some constructive ways of dealing? I am sorta conflicted. On one hand, I REALLY want my breasts to grow over the summer. On the other, I shouldn't HAVE to have or want bigger breasts in order to validate myself as a woman, you know?

Also, please tell me things will get better after high school. Thanks! tongue.gif



I was an A cup at your age (32B now since I was 18), I did not get teased too much about it but I did feel insecure then of course. I only feel more insecure about it now as I get older because I see more and more younger girls and some at even much younger ages than I that seemed to be more "blessed" in that area than I am now. My sister is 16 and a 36C and she loves to brag about that, so does her same-aged and equally-endowed friend.

Its funny that you mentioned an 11-year-old as an example. One of my older friends has a daughter who is 11 and already is an 1" taller than me and her chest, although still smaller than mine, is ready to bust out (no pun intended laugh.gif ), by looking at it you just know hers will.

It can be hard to validate yourself from time to time but hopefully we can all help each other as this forum is designed to be. I look forward to input and advice as well.
karategrrl
It was my post about the boobie handshakes that started a lot of this, so I want to second that yes, Aithinne, I think we should cut Geoff some slack, and yes again, this is a great place to talk, learn, discuss and generally expand our minds.

Though the men who have posted in here have, all too often, been of the SmooveB and PLoverRay variety (high entertainment value of their posts and our responses for sure, but also high on the deja-vu scale), there have GOT to be some who may be inclined to read here b/c they're sincerely trying to better understand women. God knows I've spent enough hours of my life trying to understand the male P.O.V., so maybe that exists on the other side of the fence as well. Guess I'm feeling optimistic tonight. rolleyes.gif


I am going to sign off and go do some Kegels. wink.gif You know, one must be prepared at all times!
angie_21
I had a thought yesterday while I was out with my guy and his friends at a car show. I think I noticed it partly because of all the discussion going on here. There were as always, girls walking around in their summer tank tops, which used to drive me nuts, because I'd be constantly comparing myself to every other pair of boobs on the street/beach/wherever. But yesterday I wasn't doing it anymore. Finally 10 years later, I can walk around, and see everyone else out there as people, and not focus in on the one thing I know they have that I don't. Because a) I don't care, b ) I don't want it anymore anyways, and c) I've stopped not only objectifying myself, but other women as well. Partly because I'm starting to get a few years older than most of the tank top/ bikini girls anyways, and it would just be weird to be comparing how I look to how they look, and I would never wear the same clothes they're wearing so I don't care what I'd look like in those clothes. And also I really actually believe what I've always told myself, we're all just people and it's just wonderful that we all look and dress differently, and we really do all look beautiful in our own way. It was a great realization, and pretty liberating.
KeraBear
QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ May 29 2009, 06:56 PM) *
Its funny that you mentioned an 11-year-old as an example. One of my older friends has a daughter who is 11 and already is an 1" taller than me and her chest, although still smaller than mine, is ready to bust out (no pun intended laugh.gif ), by looking at it you just know hers will.


Just out of curiosity, how can you tell when somebody is about to "bust out"? smile.gif

QUOTE(angie_21 @ May 30 2009, 11:07 PM) *
I had a thought yesterday while I was out with my guy and his friends at a car show. I think I noticed it partly because of all the discussion going on here. There were as always, girls walking around in their summer tank tops, which used to drive me nuts, because I'd be constantly comparing myself to every other pair of boobs on the street/beach/wherever. But yesterday I wasn't doing it anymore. Finally 10 years later, I can walk around, and see everyone else out there as people, and not focus in on the one thing I know they have that I don't. Because a) I don't care, b ) I don't want it anymore anyways, and c) I've stopped not only objectifying myself, but other women as well. Partly because I'm starting to get a few years older than most of the tank top/ bikini girls anyways, and it would just be weird to be comparing how I look to how they look, and I would never wear the same clothes they're wearing so I don't care what I'd look like in those clothes. And also I really actually believe what I've always told myself, we're all just people and it's just wonderful that we all look and dress differently, and we really do all look beautiful in our own way. It was a great realization, and pretty liberating.


I hope i can reach the day when I can see the world around me like this. But being in high school, it is SOOOOOO hard. Especially in American high schools. I hear that in Europe, the breast fixation isn't nearly as bad. I don't know how much truth there is to that. You've been so helpful to me, Angie. Thanks!!
Allison-Shine
QUOTE(KeraBear @ May 31 2009, 09:09 AM) *
Just out of curiosity, how can you tell when somebody is about to "bust out"? smile.gif


Every time I see her, she always changes. She will be like her mom, who isn't lacking in that area either, lol
KeraBear
QUOTE(Allison-Shine @ May 31 2009, 09:44 AM) *
Every time I see her, she always changes. She will be like her mom, who isn't lacking in that area either, lol


ahh, yes, always a good indication. Seeing as how I haven't changed since 13 years old, and my mom is rather small, i guess I won't be busting out any time soon. But then again, I only got my period last year when i was 15. I guess anything can happen at this point, eh? If not, i'll still rock these booblets so hard! cool.gif

Sadly, I have seen some 11 year olds who have out boobed me. MEH. huh.gif
angie_21
Thanks Kera! biggrin.gif I remember how much this was a real, emotional thing for me to go through, and I hate thinking that so many other girls out there are going through the same useless stress and embarassment that I did. Especially now that I know how much better it is when you've stopped worrying about it. I mean, I've been to websites where girls are so depressed about their bodies that they write that they're either going to get implants or kill themselves by the time they're 16. It makes me want to cry! No girl should ever feel like she should judge the value of her life based on how her appearance compares to an imaginary, arbitrary ideal. Especially when I think of all the blessings and beauties there are to being small-chested!

I'm long past the stage where I can hope for them to mysteriously grow overnight , lol, (although they have changed in shape, for the better, since I stopped the pill), so it's a lot easier to just accept that this is just the way my body is, and anyone who doesn't like it can bite me.
starship
I've seen a lot of tv programs/magazine articles lately based on how men are feeling inadequate due to the abundance of adonis-like figures splashed over the media and the toned celebs women drool over. I have no sympathy and am secretly abit glad. am i a bad person:/. channel4 just did a series called 'extreme male beauty' or something which, imo, just showed how men are starting to feel more of the pressures that women have for yonks. secretly enjoyable

younger relatives have now well and truely out-boobed me. it looks more like I'm the 13 year old and they're 21. eek

i stopped the pill a couple of months ago and havent noticed any difference thus far, which i suppose is a plus. although they couldnt really get much smaller

at least geoff loves me...

oh and kera i filled out abit all over at around 20 so I'm sure you still have plenty of changing to do. but I agree with angie- they best thing is to aim for loving your body the way it is right now. I spent most of my teens expecting a last minute break out rather than accepting my small boobs and it did me no favours

strongirl
Just got back from a week at the beach in Mexico (wonderful!) and was surprised to see our forum is hopping once again!

No time for lengthy post but have to say re. Geoff that Angie_21 said everything I wanted to say - everything! And probably better than I could have said it. Thanks, Angie! smile.gif

loonydaray
flat and proud

be prepared: the following is a celebrity quote about a celeb who is PROUD of being flat and thinks its sexy. and she's on maxim too. what up!
Allison-Shine
QUOTE(starship @ Jun 1 2009, 11:07 AM) *
oh and kera i filled out abit all over at around 20 so I'm sure you still have plenty of changing to do. but I agree with angie- they best thing is to aim for loving your body the way it is right now. I spent most of my teens expecting a last minute break out rather than accepting my small boobs and it did me no favours


I have been filling out gradually myself after turning 18 (I'm 23 now). I was a 32A throughout high school but had a small blessing at 18 becoming my now 32B. My biggest change is in my hips and thighs, getting more shape and definition, I am getting kind of a pear-shaped, semi-hourglass figure, its kinda hard to describe. Dare I say that I am getting some booty in my behind!

My point to Kera is that changes will likely come along later when you least expect them.
kittenb
QUOTE
I've seen a lot of tv programs/magazine articles lately based on how men are feeling inadequate due to the abundance of adonis-like figures splashed over the media and the toned celebs women drool over. I have no sympathy and am secretly abit glad. am i a bad person:/. channel4 just did a series called 'extreme male beauty' or something which, imo, just showed how men are starting to feel more of the pressures that women have for yonks. secretly enjoyable


Maybe I should post this in the "Confessions" thread but I have the same feelings, starship. When I see one of those stories, I always think, "Well, you all made this damn bed. You lie in it for a change!"
karategrrl
QUOTE(loonydaray @ Jun 1 2009, 08:36 PM) *
flat and proud

be prepared: the following is a celebrity quote about a celeb who is PROUD of being flat and thinks its sexy. and she's on maxim too. what up!


WOW! Love it! And she's great. I don't like that she said she's "flat," b/c even small breasts have some shape to them, but overall I'm loving that she's being portrayed as sexy.

BTW, that looks like a Victoria's Secret swimsuit she's wearing. Also BTW, I notice that when you do see girlie photos of small-breasted women, they are often in that pose--flat on back or leaning back, seated, with an arched lower back. Such photos of large-busted women usually have them standing up. Just an observation.
KeraBear
QUOTE(karategrrl @ Jun 2 2009, 10:33 AM) *
WOW! Love it! And she's great. I don't like that she said she's "flat," b/c even small breasts have some shape to them, but overall I'm loving that she's being portrayed as sexy.


Yeah, i've never liked the term "flat" myself. Probably because people have used that word to describe me since 6th grade. And it almost implies that i have no breasts at all which isn't true of course! They just aren't as ... obvious as the other girls. What's a gal gotta do to get some boobie respect?!? Short of lifting up my shirt and kids section bra and flashing the world, of course. rolleyes.gif

Also a couple other things - I've noticed that this thread has WAAAAAAY more replies than the large breast support group. That's not to say that women with large breasts have it any easier or anything like that, but I found that sorta interesting. Perhaps we really do need more "support"?

I noticed a guy sneaking a peek down my blouse the other day. While most girls i guess would be really annoyed at this, I felt flattered. I rarely, if EVER, get attention because of my breasts. Also this wasn't some random creep, it was a guy that I am sorta crushing on. Is this silly?
karategrrl
QUOTE(KeraBear @ Jun 2 2009, 04:32 PM) *
Short of lifting up my shirt and kids section bra and flashing the world, of course. rolleyes.gif

I'm right next to ya, grrl, with my kiddie bra too!

QUOTE(KeraBear @ Jun 2 2009, 04:32 PM) *
I noticed a guy sneaking a peek down my blouse the other day. While most girls i guess would be really annoyed at this, I felt flattered. I rarely, if EVER, get attention because of my breasts. Also this wasn't some random creep, it was a guy that I am sorta crushing on. Is this silly?

Not at all. And don't tell us you haven't sneaked a peek at any of his goods. wink.gif
anarch
QUOTE(kittenb @ Jun 2 2009, 12:27 AM) *
Maybe I should post this in the "Confessions" thread but I have the same feelings, starship. When I see one of those stories, I always think, "Well, you all made this damn bed. You lie in it for a change!"


Same here. I know it'll contribute to bad things like increasing steroid use and eating disorders among boys and men, and I don't enjoy that thought. At the same time, I also know that nothing, nothing, teaches like experience. Most men who aren't short or fat or losing their hair have no clue what it's like to walk around every day having 99% of magazine covers, tv shows, movies, ads of all sorts, etc announcing that the way you look is completely inadequate. Something wrong with our skin, our hair, our boobs, our tummies, legs, butts, knees, ankles. Nothing escapes criticism.

Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing, now, I know two men who liked that movie (very feminist and grounded, these guys, both taken, naturally) , and all the rest hated it, and it's because Swayze made them feel inadequate. More men might start getting a clue if they got a taste of what it's like to live in a world that compares you to airbrushed plastic "perfection" multiple times a day, every bloody day.




Aithinne
I know just want you mean when you were flattered, KeraBear. I've had a few of those moments too, where I've noticed guys checking out my chest and I was thinking, "wow, really? They're really worth look at and checking out? SWEET!!!"

I've kind of wondered about the difference in the number of replies in the two boobie forums too. I've read through all the posts in the large boobie thread, and most of them seem to be about where to find bras in their sizes (which I'm sure can be an extremely frustrating endeavor). Whereas here, we tend to talk more about culture, the emotional problems that go along with how people perceive small breasts, men, etc. Not that our large boobie sisters don't have problems with culture, emotions, and men as well. It just doesn't seem as talked about in their place as it does here. I still kind of think it's fascinating how the many of the problems women face on both sides of the average boobie are very similar. How there are sterotypes about you because of your size, how you can feel like a freak, experiences with teasing in school, etc. It's crazy how much we can actually relate with our larger sisters.

Karategrrl, I LOVE your bunny. So cute, it's almost sickening. Lol.
strongirl
As a mother of a teenage son, I have no desire to see men inflicted with the same unhealthy cultural pressures that women experience regarding appearance. I really truly wish we could all move past this and appreciate ourselves and each other in all our wonderful diversity. But in terms of seeing a little "forced empathy"...wishing that guys who have used this power over women to make them feel insecure would get a taste of their own medicine...I know exactly what you mean.

Side note, I just spent a week on the Mayan Riviera (Playa del Carmen, mostly) and saw only one pair of implants the entire week. Far less than I see on a typical trip to the gym here. And about 10% of the women on the beach were topless, mostly Europeans. With a wide variety of boob shapes and sizes. It was so refreshing! My titties had a nice vacation! And got a fair amount of sun. smile.gif


blondenorwegian
KeraBear, I'm with you. As a woman with a B cup, I had gotten to a point where I felt okay with my chest size. I was an A through most of high school, and didn't grow until I was 17 or 18. Things do get better after high school, chica!

I felt pretty good until one night my boyfriend (in an inebriated state) blurted out how phenomenal his ex's breasts were. His ex had a D cup, as did the girl before that.

Hanging up the phone and feeling rather inadequate I began talking to my girlfriends about surgery. I started scouring the internet for reviews of breast enhancement creams, phytoestrogens, miracle pills and bizarre contraptions- any that promised another cup size I considered. That one stupid comment reopened a lot of old wounds and dumped salt on them.

I was raised to be a feminist, and participated in women body image groups, all of that- all to discourage girls from feeling exactly the way I did when my boyfriend said that. I should love my body the way it is, and if my boyfriend doesn't like it, he can find a girl with big boobs if he's so attached. (He has since apologized profusely and says he likes my boobs the way they are.)

There is a great BBC documentary (has someone already talked about it here?) called "My Small Breasts and I" which follows three A-or-AA cup women. Some try the surgery and gadgets that I looked at; some find ways of feeling sexy.

And as for the men's rise in body image issue, I'm sorry, I have to agree. The shoe is now on the other foot. I sometimes wish my boyfriend could understand that pressure to look like the magazine cover.
KeraBear
QUOTE(strongirl @ Jun 2 2009, 06:18 PM) *
Side note, I just spent a week on the Mayan Riviera (Playa del Carmen, mostly) and saw only one pair of implants the entire week. Far less than I see on a typical trip to the gym here. And about 10% of the women on the beach were topless, mostly Europeans. With a wide variety of boob shapes and sizes. It was so refreshing! My titties had a nice vacation! And got a fair amount of sun. smile.gif


That sounds like an interesting experience. Honestly, I am not sure if I could work up enough courage to give my tiny friends a "coming out party" to the world. Good for you! Was it difficult for you the first time you tried to do something like this?

QUOTE(Aithinne @ Jun 2 2009, 05:21 PM) *
I know just want you mean when you were flattered, KeraBear. I've had a few of those moments too, where I've noticed guys checking out my chest and I was thinking, "wow, really? They're really worth look at and checking out? SWEET!!!"


Heh... yeah, I wonder though if he was only doing that out of curiosity about whether i had started puberty or not. laugh.gif But yeah, I prefer to think of it as the latter.

QUOTE(Aithinne @ Jun 2 2009, 05:21 PM) *
I still kind of think it's fascinating how the many of the problems women face on both sides of the average boobie are very similar. How there are sterotypes about you because of your size, how you can feel like a freak, experiences with teasing in school, etc. It's crazy how much we can actually relate with our larger sisters.


Yeah, one of my best friends is like the anti-me as far as breasts are concerned. She started getting breasts when she was like 8 and sportin' a D cup in 6th grade. She was the "freak who started too early" and I was the "freak who started too late" and we both shared our fine share of teasing for it. sad.gif I always felt a little more sorry for her than for me though, because other girls were really mean to her early on, spreading rumors and stuff.
strongirl
KeraBear, no, actually it was not difficult for me at all. I'm sort of a natural born nudist and coming from a pretty un-modest family and after many childhood and adolescent "play doctor" and "you show me yours, I'll show you mine" kinds of experiences, I took to clothes optional beaches and hot springs like a duck to water. I hate swimsuits with a passion, to be honest! So does my adolescent son, who I first took to a clothes optional hot springs when he was 4 months old. I recall his shock and surprise when he invited friends over at the age of 5 to swim in our pool, and they went into the bathroom to put on swimsuits!

I have recommended before in this thread, and I will say it again: for those of you who have never gone to clothes optional or naturist beaches or hot springs, I strongly suggest you give it a try. What you will see is dramatically different from the airbrushed, surgically enhanced bullshit you are seeing in popular media and negatively comparing yourself to. Real bodies are beautiful, including yours. Yes, it can be sexually exciting. It can also be mind expanding, compassion inducing, and a liberating force from the self-hating hang-ups we all tend to get tripped up on. Try it!

One caveat: I am making a distinction between "naturist" and "clothes optional" environments as opposed to "swinger" or "lifestyle" places. In the former, you will find families with kids, men, women, old, young, thin, fat, disabled, you name it. In the latter, you will find a lot of silicone and sleazy horndog guys who are popping that extra Viagra in hopes of bagging that silicone 34E babe. You do have to do a bit of research to find places that are about body acceptance rather than sexual "gaming". Once you do, though, it is very liberating and life-affirming.




strongirl
blondenorwegian, I don't think I've noticed you posting in here before but your comments were very insightful and articulate.

I had a similar experience a few months ago with my boyfriend, where we were at a social event where there were several women with extremely large, surgically enhanced breasts and we both had a sexual reaction to them and had sex during which we fantasized about them. I got off on it, as did he, but later my self esteem tanked, and I felt like shit and thought "I should either get implants or break up with him so he can be with someone who does". I kept this to myself, however. A few days later we watched a movie in which the male lead was not only hot but also a great, attentive lover. Afterward when we started to have sex, he confessed that he felt totally inadequate after watching that guy, and that the comparison was making him feel insecure and depressed and non-sexual. Spurred onward by his confession, I confessed how the women with implants and his reaction to them made me feel. His apology was so perfectly on target that it made me cry. Not only did he apologize for making me feel bad, but he explained very articulately how he is attracted to a wide variety of body types (as am I) but that mine is the most beautiful he's ever seen, how he's in it for the long run with me and he knows my firm, small tits will be healthy and sexy to him over the long haul, and while a particularly flashy feature like big boobs or beautiful hair or a very slender waist might catch his eye or spark a fantasy, the consistently wonderful, amazing, soul-deep sex that we have is something that he would never ever want to give up, for anything. It was a sincere, thorough, and totally on-target apology. And we followed it by awesome sex, as usual.

While my ego might want to be the only woman he can even see as attractive, I can't offer the same exclusivity in return: I love hot guys and I'm very visual. I love to check out guys' bodies! So given that he and I are wired very similarly, I think I can put my ego aside and my love where it belongs. It belongs with him, with the understanding that we're both gonna look, but that what we have together is real and hot and special and lasting.




KeraBear
QUOTE(strongirl @ Jun 3 2009, 11:07 PM) *
I have recommended before in this thread, and I will say it again: for those of you who have never gone to clothes optional or naturist beaches or hot springs, I strongly suggest you give it a try. What you will see is dramatically different from the airbrushed, surgically enhanced bullshit you are seeing in popular media and negatively comparing yourself to. Real bodies are beautiful, including yours. Yes, it can be sexually exciting. It can also be mind expanding, compassion inducing, and a liberating force from the self-hating hang-ups we all tend to get tripped up on. Try it!

One caveat: I am making a distinction between "naturist" and "clothes optional" environments as opposed to "swinger" or "lifestyle" places. In the former, you will find families with kids, men, women, old, young, thin, fat, disabled, you name it. In the latter, you will find a lot of silicone and sleazy horndog guys who are popping that extra Viagra in hopes of bagging that silicone 34E babe. You do have to do a bit of research to find places that are about body acceptance rather than sexual "gaming". Once you do, though, it is very liberating and life-affirming.


Wow, Strongirl, that sounds pretty intense, and liberating no doubt. Maybe someday... that has to be weird for teens and preteens though, because our bodies are in various stages of puberty (like late bloomers like me who was JUST budding breasts at 13.... awkward) and our hormones are pumping into overdrive. I dunno...

I do have a question though. ANd I am not trying to be funny! What if you are chillin' in there and talking with some dude and all of a sudden he has a hard-on? Do you say, "it happens", have a laugh about it, and then keep talking as if nothing ever happened? Thank him for the "compliment"?
strongirl
KeraBear, it does happen. It's happened to me many times over the years and it just really isn't a big deal. There's usually no need to say anything, just be pleasant and keep talking or relaxing or whatever it was that you were doing. Occasionally a guy will feel embarrassed and compelled to say something, like "Sorry about that!" or "Pardon my reaction - you're very attractive!". And I'll say "Thanks, no problem. I'll take it as a compliment." And we just move on. I've had lots of sex at those places but always with people I was with. I've never had to "fend off" an inappropriate or unwanted "hit".

As for the adolescent thing, we are talking "clothes optional" not compulsory nudity. So anyone who doesn't feel comfortable being nude can not be nude. Often this is teens, going through that awkward phase. But many teens are fine with it, especially those who have gone to places like this all their lives, like my son and his best friend. The hot springs I go to most often really is a family environment, and around the pool on a given day you'll see all ages, from infants to seniors. I think it's great for teens, who are given so many negative messages about their developing bodies, to see a wide variety of bodies and everyone just being relaxed and fine with it. It's OK to be big, or small, or hairy, or pale, or have stretch marks.

It might sound intense but it really isn't. It's very relaxed and accepting and low pressure.
karategrrl
Lawd, so much great stuff going on here! luuv it!

Aithinne, glad you like the bunny! Yep, that was one grumpy bunny. I saw it at a really funny site--disapprovingrabbits.com. Okay, I just replaced my avatar with MY bunny! She has her grumpy, disapproving moments too! Love the bunnies!

anarch, I SO hear ya on the Patrick Swayze/Dirty Dancing thing. Um, like EVERY guy movie I watch with my hubby has its share of female eye candy, which hubby always says is "no big deal," but when we watched the Sex and the City movie and there was the scene with the naked guy in the outdoor shower, he was like, "Oh, puh-leeese!" Meanwhile, women are portrayed like that 8 days a week.

strongirl, MARRY your BF. Like, NOW. wink.gif But seriously, he sounds like a man who is aware of what he's feeling and can also articulate it. That's RARE and very special. It's wonderful that you guys can talk so openly.

blondnorweigian, welcome to the club!!!!


Okay, something totally random I had to share. I was in the checkout line at the grocery store the other day. In front of me was a man with 3 young kids. The youngest, a boy, was probably no more than 3 and sitting in the baby seat of the shopping cart. the magazine rack was right by the boy, and smack in the middle of the mags was a beauty (or fitness or whatever) mag with a fairly provocative photo of a blonde kneeling in a bikini--like a pretty typical Victoria's Secret or Sports Illustrated sort of thing. The little boy was riveted to this cover photo, which is totally natural, I'm sure--I mean, all humans, even children, are sexual creatures (tho' children don't yet fully understand sexuality). What struck me was that right in front of me was an example of how the stereotypes of body ideals are literally thrust in front of us, even at very young ages. It's something we've talked about in here, and right there in front of me, there it was.

I wish (though it will never happen) that if we are going to see people's bodies used to sell magazines and stuff, that at least it could be of variety of all different types, ages, genders, and colors of bodies--celebrating human beauty in all its forms--rather than just the skinny, busty blonde bikini models. Nothing against anyone who fits that description, but it's only one body type, and not necessarily an ideal.
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